


At Least You're Not Aquaman

by mybrainproblems



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Blood, Blood and Violence, Character Death, Gratuitous use of the word "fuck", Hella sticklebacks all up in this business, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Slow Build, Social Commentary, There is no fucking eruri in this shit holy fuck why do I feel like I have to tag this, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 98
Words: 175,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1620422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybrainproblems/pseuds/mybrainproblems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jaeger is a college student studying for a degree in marine biology while working in the stickleback lab at his university. He dreams of researching and exploring the deepest parts of the ocean. His favorite food is free food. He does all of his papers at the last minute. He loves pizza. He has a serious caffeine addiction. He's just a normal happy-go-lucky twenty-one year old.</p><p>The only problem is that his sister is a superhero.<br/>And he's every supervillain's favorite target.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>I'm sorry but this fic is now discontinued</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sticklebacks and Aquaman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know what a stickleback is, be very happy. I wasn't a bio major but a bunch of my friends were and occasionally I'd help them out with their lab hours if they were running late.
> 
> Sticklebacks are boring as all get out.

Eren was finally done with his rounds in the lab feeding the sticklebacks and jotting down all of the metrics and observation data. It had taken him longer than usual after he had knocked over the food that he had been pipetting into the tanks and had been forced to search though one of the neighboring labs to find more. It was almost dark out at this point and he felt bad cutting into his sister's night job since she always insisted on walking (well, flying) him home.

Mikasa didn’t work any ordinary night job though. She worked as a superhero under the alias of Red Scarf. Since they weren’t related by blood there was almost no chance that he would ever get super powers.  When they were younger he had been jealous of her super strength and ability to fly. Her powers may not have manifested until she hit puberty, but she'd already been his protector even before then.  Now though, he wasn't jealous so much as annoyed.

Eren’s annoyance stemmed from the fact that his sister’s occupation meant that he was kidnapped and targeted on a regular basis. He was his sister's weak spot and she would ditch a robbery if she thought that Eren had so much as stubbed his toe.  It was a joke that he liked to tell but there _was_ the one time when he had gotten into a fight with  three guys on the way back from work a few years ago. The police hadn't been happy that she had left them to deal with the jewel thieves while she played hero for her idiot brother.

He was sick of it.

Being the “idiot” brother who couldn't stay out of trouble.

When he was younger he'd been a bit of a suicidal bastard; running into fights to defend people regardless of how much bigger or stronger than him their attackers were. He had mellowed out a lot (staring at fish all day will do that to you) but now he had to deal with being the target of almost every villain in Trost.

He was sick of that too.

But right now, he just wanted to get home. He had already told Mikasa that he would be late after the mishap with the spilled food earlier and she had told him to text her when he was done so that she could fly him home.

He took out his phone to text her and immediately dropped it into the stickleback tank right next to him. Sticking his hand into the tank to retrieve his phone he wondered if he could get superpowers from the genetically modified fish that he worked with on a daily basis. _I'd probably just end up with powers like Aquaman. That would be humiliating. I think I'd rather just stay normal._

Staring at his phone he tried to think of what to do. He couldn't text his sister now. The school had taken the pay phones out of the lab building’s lobby years ago and he had left his laptop at home, leaving him with no way to get in touch with his sister. _I guess I'm taking the bus home._

Eren sifted through his pockets and then his backpack.

He was fifty cents short for the bus fare.

_Scratch that. I guess I'm walking home._


	2. The New Titans on the Block

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration is flying thick and fast. Levi will probs show up in the next chapter.

Eren knew walking home wasn't the brightest idea. The number of times he had been kidnapped since his sister went superhero full-time was ridiculous, but not a single person had so much as looked at him oddly in three weeks.

_Mikasa beat those guys down pretty badly last time. I bet all of the supervillains are done with me. They probably don't want to end up like what's-his-face._

If there was one thing that Eren loved to do, it was tempt fate.

______

Eren was walking around the back of the biology building when he heard something move by the dumpster. He tensed up and squinted at the shadows and started to pull a stun gun out of his pocket. It wasn't as effective as his sister, but if it was just a few thugs from the Stationary Guard then he could handle himself... probably. He saw something moving in the shadows and cautiously started to move closer. It wasn’t a particularly large shadow and he held out hope that it wasn’t even a person. _Please let it be a stupid raccoon or something. I just hope it's not Rat again. That guy sucks._

He  was startled and jumped back when a cat ran out from behind the dumpster, yowling and hissing. Clutching his heart as the cat ran off around the corner he felt himself shaking but couldn't help but laugh after he had started breathing again. His laugh was loud enough that didn't hear the steps behind him.

“What's so funny, Eren?”

He just loved to tempt fate.

______

Eren didn't even bother to look behind him before he started to run. From the shadow that he had seen looming behind him whoever it was had at least a foot taller than him and he did not want to stick around and attempt to fight them. He rounded the corner of the building hoping to see someone, anyone; but now that the sun had set the area around the academic building side of campus was completely deserted. His heart slammed against his rib cage as he continued to run and it felt like his throat and lungs were being ripped apart.

The pounding rhythm behind him increased to include yet another person. Someone who was larger. Someone who was faster. Someone who was closing in on him as he tried to sprint along the path in front of the building.

Somehow (and he really wasn't sure how) he managed to dodge the punch that was thrown at him from the side by his newest attacker and continue to sprint past some landscape shrubs leading to the entrance of the building.

_If I can just get inside... That's all I need to do. Get in the building and make sure the door is closed behind me. You need an ID to get in. I'll be safe there. I can figure out a way to get in touch with Mikasa. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be –_

A foot slammed into his shin and he went sprawling out on the ground. Another foot was planted on his back and his arms were pulled behind him and he felt the tug of a zip tie as it was pulled tight.

_Dammit. Not again._

 

“Let him go.”

_Oh thank the sweet baby Jesus, Mikasa is here._

“Well then, look who it is. We expected you to be here already. Made our jobs a lot easier.”

“Eren, you didn't call me like you were supposed to.” He could hear the accusation in her voice. _I don't care, Mikasa. Just get me out of here and we can go home and you can rake me over the coals and tell me how irresponsible I was. Please ditch the traditional witty hero-villain banter and get me out of here._

“Eren, I think you've hurt your sister's feelings.” _And that's another thing. Why doesn't Mikasa have a secret identity? The police and normal people don't know who the hell she is but every villain knows who she is and every single fucking villain knows exactly who I am._

“You have my attention. Let him go and we'll settle this between ourselves. I bet that I can take the both of you no problem. Whoever the hell you are.”

“We don’t care. We’re a part of the Titans and you’re going to be hearing a hell of a lot more from us soon.” _Shit. Fuck. That was a third person. She's behind Mikasa and Mikasa didn't notice her._

He heard a sharp twang ring out before Mikasa fell to the ground, completely motionless. He had no way of knowing whether she was unconscious or dead. _She's not dead. She can't be dead. She's the only family I have left. Please._

 Eren felt a cloth being pressed hard against his face before he blacked out.


	3. Bird Shit and Too-Wide Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I thought that I was going to be introducing Levi in this chapter but lol nope. Sorry babes, next one I swear!
> 
> Also: DOUBLE CLIFFHANGER NOW.

_I'm so warm and sleepy, I don't want to wake up. Fucking hell though, our neighbors need to stop leaving their television on so loud at night. Please shut up shut up shut up I had an awful night because -_

Eren came to full consciousness immediately. He had been captured (again) and Mikasa was... Mikasa was...

_No, she’s completely okay. It’s Mikasa, there’s no way that she isn’t okay._

_She’s completely fine._

_She has to be._

 

He fought back the tears pricking at his eyes and focused on his surroundings. He was laying sideways on a couch, tossed there like a rag doll with his arms zip-tied behind his back. It was almost completely dark and he twisted around, turning his head to look over towards the only light source in the room. There were three people talking to one another but he couldn't make out the words that well. Something about orders... titans... _Fuck, I can't hear a thing._

“It looks like dear little Eren's awake.”

_Seriously? Why does every single fucking supervillain and crime syndicate know my fucking name and who I fucking am? I am so done with this bullshit. I just want to hang out with my friends, finish college and explore the deep ocean with Armin. Is that really so much to ask for?_

“What the fuck do you want?” _Okay maybe that wasn't the best way to start off..._

Three faces _–no, those are masks –_ turned towards him. The faces were terrifying renditions of what looked like human faces, but the proportions and features were all wrong. Nothing was incredibly out of place but one of them had a too-wide toothy grin while another had eyes that were too large for its face. The final one had a misshapen nose that looked more like a tumor. He knew that they weren't their actual faces, but they were well-fitted to their wearers faces and just real enough. They were strange and macabre masks emphasizing some singular facial feature to the point of horror.

Their hidden gazes lingered on him a moment and he could feel goosebumps raising on his skin. They turned back to one another and began talking to each other in whispers again.

Panic truly started to grip Eren now. They hadn't made any threats against him; no attempts to hurt him. They hadn't asked him a single question or taunted him in the slightest. Hadn’t so much as mentioned Mikasa. He was just slumped over on a couch like so much dirty laundry being ignored. Eren turned his face away from the light and back into the couch. A foul smell assaulted his nose as it pressed into the material.

_Good. I'm lying on a couch covered in fucking bird shit._

______

Time passed as he lay there. Eren couldn't make out any words that his captors were saying and they didn't seem to care much about him. He could feel the pressure building in his lower abdomen.

“Hey, um. Any of you? I have to take a piss. Can someone...?” He trailed off when none of the three turned around to face him. _Fan-fucking-tastic. When I get out of this I'm going to smell like bird shit and be soaked in my own urine... if I get out of here. No, don’t think like that._ When _I get out of here._

One of the figures turned and came closer and pulled him up roughly. They made no attempt to steady him as he stumbled and tried to find his footing. They stopped and shoved him ahead of them towards a narrow wooden door in the cracked walls and stepped in front of him to open it. It was a pitch black room with no windows and no light. Eren couldn’t see a single thing on the other side of the doorway. _They're going to kill me. They're serial killers. They don't care about Mikasa being my sister oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck._

The person beside him flipped a light switch, illuminating a dirty toilet and sink. He received another shove to the back of his legs, propelling him into the small room.

“How am I supposed to...? My hands are tied.”

The too-wide toothy grin stared back at him and he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a shudder at the grotesque mask. In the mirror he saw them take out a knife and a wave of horror passed over him before he realized that they were simply cutting the zip tie in order to free his hands. He knew that he should fight back, his hands were free after all. _Fuck it, I’ll pee first and then maybe I’ll get a chance…_

He barely had the opportunity to zip up his fly before his hands were snatched back behind him. He felt another zip tie pulled snugly around his wrists. _Gross, I didn’t even get to wash my hands._ His captor practically dragged him back to the couch before pushing him back down on it again. They turned their back to him and returned to sit down with their comrades.

They were clearly waiting for someone and for the first time since he woke up he heard a full sentence being spoken.

“When's Ape supposed to get here? Smiles, you said he would be here around now.”

One of the masked figures grunted. He wasn't sure which.

They were quiet again.

Everything was still.

 

And that was when all hell broke loose.


	4. Restraint and Rescue

Eren was well-acquainted with kidnapping situations at this point. Under normal circumstances he would be kidnapped, his kidnappers would “lure” Mikasa to them, Mikasa would rain hellfire on the people who dared harm her brother, they would walk out together. Usually he wouldn’t even have any injuries besides a few cuts and bruises, but there had been one time that he had a fractured arm. He would full admit that the fractured arm was partially his fault.

What had never happened before was him watching as his sister fell to the ground completely motionless and then spending hours on his side on a couch covered in bird shit alternating between worrying about his sister and worrying about whether or not he was going to make it out alive. He had held out hope that he would be rescued for the first hour but by hour three he had been forced to make peace with the fact that he couldn't ignore his bladder and help wasn't showing up any time soon. So when the doors were suddenly blasted off their hinges, leaving him covered in splintered wood and plaster, Eren wasn’t entirely sure what to think.

As confused as Eren was, his captors were far worse off. One of them had been caught by one of the doors and was slumped against the far wall, their body laying at an angle that indicated that they probably weren't going to be getting up again. The other two were standing at the ready, waiting for whoever it was to walk through the doorway. When a few moments had passed and nobody had passed through the door yet the two remaining masked captors moved closer.

It was a mistake.

One of them was immediately caught by a blow to the neck and fell to the floor.

And that was when Eren looked up more and saw him standing in the doorway.

The Hawk. The somewhat mysterious fourth member of the elite superhero team, the Survey Corps. He worked almost exclusively at night. He was well-known for taking down entire teams of criminals single-handedly in spite of his lack of super strength. He was also Eren’s superhero crush.

_I'm being saved by The Hawk. I have to play it cool and act natural. Why do I have to be covered in bird shit?_

 

Eren watched as the superhero stalked down the final person as they moved back towards the window and stumbled into the couch where Eren was laying. The Hawk didn't take his eyes off of his prey and was standing over him. Eren's captor was no more than a foot from him, cowering in front of the superhero in front of him as he drew out a knife. _Oh fuck he's going to -_

“Levi!”

The knife was sheathed and the figure cowering at the couch seemed to go even further into shock as another person came barreling in through the doorway. All that Eren could see in the dim lighting was that the other person was wearing...

_Goggles? What the fuck?_

And that's when it hit him.

Dr. Scientist was standing right in front of him.

He was in the same room as two out of the four members of the Survey Corps .

_They're here to save me. Holy crap why? Mikasa doesn't run with them at all. She doesn't like The Hawk and she thinks that Nose is creepy so why the hell are they here to save me?_

 

“Levi! This guy is dead. What the hell were you thinking?” Dr. Scientist sounded shocked as they stared at the body.

“It's not my fault that they were in the way when I kicked the door in.”

“At least the other two are alive. You know Erwin isn't going to be happy about this, right?”

“Hanji, I'm not Batman. That “non-lethal” crap is complete bullshit and you know it. You can’t guarantee shit.”

“I know, but still. We're supposed to be the good guys!”

“If you want to feel like a good guy it looks like we've also rescued a kid.” He motioned vaguely in Eren's direction. The kidnapper in front of the couch had either fainted or was trying to play dead.

“Hm. He doesn't look that little.”

“Fine. We rescued a teenager. He looks like he's fifteen, that's still a kid.”

“No, he looks more like he's seventeen. Mayyyybe eighteen.”

“Still a kid.”

“I'm not a kid, I'm twenty-one!”

They turned to look at him after his outburst and stared at him. The Hawk was staring at him with a look that was equal parts amusement and exasperation.

_That sure made me sound like an adult. Not only am I tied up and covered in bird shit I also just made myself sound like a child. And in front of The Hawk and Dr. Scientist of all people. Especially in front of him. Dammit, today is really not going my way._

“Okay, so what's a twenty-one year old doing tied up in an apartment with a bunch of criminals?” The Hawk was smirking at him now, his sarcasm palpable.

“I'm Mikasa... um... Red Scarf's brother. This happens... more than I'd like it to.”

_Brilliant. As if this situation isn't humiliating enough. “Why yes, I'm a superhero's brother and in spite of being an adult I still regularly get kidnapped and my sister is forced to save my ass on at least a bi-weekly basis.” Just let the couch swallow me or something._

“Oh! I've heard of you! You're Eren right?” Dr. Scientist was smiling at him now.

“Why does everyone know my fucking name...”

“Well you're such a cutie, I can see why you get kidnapped all the time. What's it like to have to deal with supervillains and criminals kidnapping you all the time? You should probably be tested for PTSD and I wonder what your cortisol levels are like and if all of this will have any long-term physiological effects on you... I would love to run some tests!” They were practically bouncing as they continued to ramble about elevated stress levels and the physical manifestations of psychological trauma.

“Hanji, I think you're scaring the brat more than these assholes did.”

“If you untie me I'll consider it...” At this point in his life, Eren was used to bargaining with people over what happened to him.

“Oops! Sorry, I got carried away.” They bent down to untie his wrists and helped him sit up.

“Thanks for showing up when you did, they were waiting for someone and I don't know what would have happened to me. Is Mikasa – Red Scarf okay then?”

“Why wouldn't she be okay?” The two of them were looking at him like he had grown a second head.

“So you weren't here to save me?” He felt cold now. _If Mikasa didn't ask them to come here for me then..._

“Brat, we're here on intel that street-level members of the Titans were going to be here meeting with one of the senior people in the organization. Why would we show up just to rescue you? You're really not all that important in the grand scheme of things.”

“Levi, be nice!”

“Oi, shut it goggles. You know what I mean.”

_Does he have to be such a jerk? He's a superhero, he's supposed to care about rescuing people and the greater good. Superheroes are all nice guys who want to save people, not jerks who tell you that you're worthless. What the fuck? He works with Commander Handsome, how is he this much of an asshole? So much for meeting your heroes. He's still hot though..._

“So you don't know if my sister's okay? She got knocked down by these guys before they took me. I don't know if she's... she wasn't moving when I last saw her before they drugged me.”

Dr. Scientist made some nonverbal sympathetic noises at the back of their throat.

“It's okay. I'm sure she's fine. We'll find your phone around here and you can call her.”

“My phone is kind of dead...” The Hawk was staring at him now with an incredulous look on his face.

“You can borrow my phone to try and get in touch with her. By the way, I'm Hanji and this asshole over here is Levi.”

“We have secret identities for a reason, goggles.”

“He's Red Scarf's brother and we know who he is. It's only fair.” Levi walked away grumbling about shitty goggles and incompetent partners.

“I'd disinfect your phone after. He smells like he's covered in shit.”

_What the fuck?_

“Thanks, Hanji.” He didn't bother calling Mikasa's phone; she might not be able to answer it even if she was okay. He went straight for the one person who would know what was going on no matter what had happened.

 

“Armin! Is Mikasa at home? Is she okay?”


	5. An Ode Inspired

“Armin! Is Mikasa home? Is she okay?”

“Eren? Where are you!? We've been so worried. I was able to get in touch with Marco and he brought her back home and helped patch her up. She's a bit fuzzy, but she's going to be okay. I'm still not entirely sure what hit her, but I'll get on it as soon as I can. What about you? Did you escape from those titan guys?”

“Not exactly...”

“What does 'not exactly' mean?”

“I kinda accidentally got rescued by The Hawk and Dr. Scientist.”

“YOU WHAT!?” Eren yanked the phone away from his face.

“Armin, tone down your emotions for just one moment, okay?”

“Okay, fine. What happened? Why did they show up?”

“They said that they had intel about this organization known as the Titans and that some of them were going to be meeting here and they found me instead...”

“This is the first time I've heard about any group known as the Titans.”

“Sorry, I don't know anything else. You'll have to ask them or whatever. You said that Mikasa is okay though, yeah?”

“Yeah, she's going to be okay. Just get back here safely.”

“Okay, I'll see you guys soon.”

 

Eren hung up and walked over to where Hanji and Levi were trussing up the remaining two kidnappers. Levi appeared to be multitasking, talking on the phone at the same time. It sounded like whoever was on the other side of the conversation wasn't particularly happy.

“... it couldn't be helped, Mike. He was right behind the fucking door. I don't have x-ray vision. I'm not Peeping Tom so how the fuck was I supposed to know that he was there?”

_Mike...? I guess he's another member of the Corps? I wonder if it's Nose or Commander Handsome. Or maybe they aren't a member at all._

“Hanji, we're leaving the body here for clean-up and taking these two back to HQ for questioning.”

“Okay, what about Eren?”

“What about him?”

“Do you think he needs a ride home?”

“How the hell should I know? It's not like we have much space in the car anyway.”

“You know, I'm right here. You could ask me if I need a ride.” _I have so had it with people talking about me like I'm not even here. I am so fucking done with this day._

Hanji and Levi turned around to look at him. They looked almost comical with Hanji supporting one of the masked people by slinging their arm over their shoulder as if they were a drunken friend and Levi with the other person tossed over his shoulder like they were a towel.

“Do you need a ride, brat?” Levi's tone implied that 'yes' was not the correct answer.

“Um. Well. I'm short on bus fare, but if either of you has fifty cents then no, I don't need a ride.”

“Does it look like I keep loose change on me?”

“No. Not really. No.” _Pretty sure I'd notice just looking at him. Damn does he look good in black spandex. Definitely doesn't leave much to the imagination. Fuck he has some killer legs... Eren tried to discreetly check out Levi's ass but was thwarted by the body slung over him._

“You shouldn't have to take the bus after being kidnapped. We'd be happy to give Eren a ride, wouldn't we Levi?”

“He's going to have to sit in the back with these assholes.”

“No, he's pretty small. We can probably squish him up front with the two of us.”

"He smells like shit, Hanji. No fucking way is he sitting up front with us."

"So we roll down the windows and he'll sit next to me and you can drive. Deal?"

Levi rolled his eyes and started walking out the door with Hanji behind him. Eren stood dumbstruck for a few minutes, watching them walk out before shaking himself out of composing an ode to spandex and following behind them.

He continued to compose his ode as he walked behind Levi, eyes glued to his ass.


	6. Hey Babe, Looking for a Ride?

Hanji and Levi weren't underselling their vehicle when they referred to it as a car. It looked like a fairly normal Prius. Maybe a few modifications here and there but nothing that would indicate that it belonged to a group of elite crime-fighting superheroes. He knew that neither of them could fly, so with all the weird gadgets that Dr. Scientist created he would have thought that they would have something a bit more interesting than a modified Prius.

He had planned to help the two of them throw his kidnappers into the back seat (and hopefully get a kick or two in) but Levi shoved them in with enough force that he felt like adding in a kick of his own would be taking it too far. The crisp and dry weather meant that he was starting to air out a bit and was smelling a bit less like the couch he'd been laying on earlier. _Then again_ Eren looked over at Levi and saw that he was scowling at him _that might just be me._ “He stays as far away from me as possible.”

“Levi, that's no way to treat a traumatized kidnapping victim.”

“The kid said that he gets kidnapped on a regular basis, I think he can handle a little bit more 'trauma' on top of the literal shit we just pulled him out of.”

“It's really okay. I think I smell pretty awful too. If there was a way to not smell like this right now I'd do it, trust me.” Eren fidgeted with his hair and scratched his scalp as he spoke.

_He thinks I smell gross. I know I smell gross. He doesn't want me anywhere near him and that's totally okay I'll just have to make sure I smell extra nice the next time we see each other. If we see each other again..._

“Do you have lice as well? Stop scratching your head, kid.”

Eren was could feel his entire body heating up from embarrassment as he tried to maneuver into the car beside Hanji. There wasn't a lot of space in the front of the car since the center console had a bit more going on that the standard Prius. It definitely wasn't going to be a comfortable fit in the passenger seat of the car with both him and Hanji.

_With me and Levi it would probably be just fine since we're both smaller than Hanji and I really wouldn't mind cuddling up with him if I had to. Because there isn't a lot of space. Yeah. Nothing to do with the fact that I think he's a hot piece of ass and I'd let him pound me into next week if he even hinted at it . Nope. Nothing to do with that. Just thinking about how we could best fit in the car. That's all._

“Eren, you can sit on my lap. I think we'll all fit that way.” Hanji was patting their lap and grinning at him. He stared back at them incredulously.

“Are you serious? You're going to have to lop off my head for me to fit.”

“Get in, kid. We need to get these guys back to HQ for questioning after we drop you off. We don't have all fucking night so get in the car.”

Eren went to sit on Hanji's lap. He ended up having to double over so that his upper body fit in the car. His head was cramped up into the middle of the front seat area and his overall posture was that of a hunchback. This is going to be one of the most uncomfortable car ridesever.

“So Eren, where do you live?” Hanji's voice was somewhat muffled behind him.

“I'm over on the West Side.”

“You've got to be fucking shitting me kid. Jesus fucking Christ. Hanji, we have fifty cents somewhere in this fucking car, don't we?”

Even Hanji had groaned heavily when he told them where he lived.

“Um. Where are we?”

“The fucking warehouse district.”

“Shit. I can call a cab it's totally okay. I don't want to make you guys go too far out of your way though I don't really know where you're HQ is, so yeah...”

“Even with the modifications I made to the car it's still going to take us at least thirty minutes to get you home and this isn't the most comfortable position for me to be in. No offense, but having my face shoved into your shoulder isn't the greatest. We'll definitely wait with you until the cab comes though. I'm really sorry, Eren.”

“It's really okay, Hanji. If I can just borrow your phone...”

“No, we'll drive you kid. You'd probably get kidnapped on the way home anyway seeing as how your life seems to go.”

“Levi?”

“Seriously!? Thank you so much!”

_He offered to give me a ride even though it's out of their way and uncomfortable. Holy shit maybe he likes me. No, Eren stop that. He just feels bad because you've had a crappy day and you're Red Scarf's brother. But he also seems like he wouldn't do anything that he doesn't want to. Even Hanji seems shocked that he's actually offering a ride with them after I said I was okay with getting a cab._

The quiet motor came to life and they drove off after Eren gave them his exact address. As they started driving Eren realized that the most comfortable way to hold his head was to just let it hang forward loosely rather than trying to angle it awkwardly to the side.

From his vantage point he had a decent view of Levi's crotch.

Eren started to reconsider whether or not he actually wanted Levi to pound him into next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I drive a 1998 Jetta that has done a round-trip coast-to-coast of the United States and stalls out if it rains too hard. The first time I got into a Prius I was like THIS IS A FUCKING ROCKETSHIP FROM THE FUTURE.
> 
> And that's how we ended up with the Survey Corp's car.


	7. Rule Number One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't supposed to happen but I had a mighty need for just-out-of-the-shower Levi and the required "not bad" comment.
> 
> Remember when I said "oh yeah probs only ten chapters / ~6,000 words"? Yeah well nope. This has a ways to go. Part of it is that I write short chapters so the number of chapters tends to be higher for my works compared to others, but it also makes writing multichap fics way easier for me since I'm dealing with bite-sized chunks rather than full meals.
> 
> I'm sorry if it's a bit annoying that I've updated multiple times a day (I will probs continue to do this) but it keeps me moving forward a lot better and it's easier for me to publish one small chapter that I'm happy with rather than angst over a longer one where I'm only happy with half of it.

“So are you taking Main or Sixth over to Washington?”

“Main is shorter.” Levi’s voice was terse.

“Yeah, but if you take Sixth then we can drop these two off at HQ before we bring Eren home. It's only a few blocks detour. We can call Mike and let him know we're bringing in some trash and we can just do a rolling drop-off. Eren can hop to the backseat and that's twenty minutes less of my face being shoved into a smelly shoulder.”

“You want to bring some random kid to HQ? Erwin is going to lose his shit, Hanji.”

“It's not like he's coming inside. Erwin doesn't have to know.”

“He's still going to know where it is though.”

_Great, even more of them talking about me like I'm not here. I don't even care where their HQ is. I just want to get home so that I can shower, whack off to Levi in spandex and pass out._

“Eren won't tell anyone where we work out of, will you Eren?”

“What, huh? Yeah, no! Totally not going to tell anyone. I'm barely awake right now I won't remember a damn thing.”

“See, Levi? He's not going to say a word. He wouldn't rat out his big hero.”

“What the fuck? I never said – no, don't take it like that... I'm not. It's just that...” Eren was glad that his rather violent blush was covered by the fact that he was doubled over and his face was obscured.

Hanji started cracking up, their chest heaving from the violence of their laughter. Their face slammed into Eren's shoulder repeatedly as they continued to convulse from their laughter.

“The look on your face when you first saw Levi, no way was that not hero worship.” _No that was actually a weird combination of shock and lust, but I guess I'll take your interpretation._ “And then when you saw me and you looked so excited! You're a Survey Corps fanboy, aren't you?”

“I'm not! It's just that my sister is a superhero and I've met a lot of the other guys in the area, but I've never met you so uh I guess I was just... surprised? Like, there's my sister but I'm also friends with The Hunter and Historia and Savage Dancer and just yeah...”

“Hanji, leave the kid alone. I'm going to call Mike and let him know we're dropping off some trash.”

 

It didn't take long for them to get to the Survey Corps HQ. He understood now why Levi had been so pissed about driving him home; their headquarters were only ten minutes from the warehouse district, but they were still twenty to thirty minutes from his apartment. _Oh wow, making this trip is a huge pain for them._ He stood next to the car while Hanji and Levi dragged the (still unconscious) bodies into the building that he assumed was their headquarters. He saw the shadow of a third person who he assumed was “Mike” holding an alley door open for them. He continued to stand awkwardly by the car as Hanji and Levi moved the bodies inside as he tried to decide if he should sit back in the car or stay where he was.

_It would be a lot more comfortable to stay in the car since it is kind of chilly out, but I'm still covered in bird shit and I know that Levi is going to get upset if I sit down in the car and get shit all over the seat while I wait for them and he would be so pissed if I got anything on the seats I just know it and I really want him to like me. But it's getting really fucking cold out here._

“Eren! Come inside with us for a moment.” Hanji had come back out into the alley and was waving their arm vigorously trying to get his attention. He followed them into through the door that they were holding open. There wasn't much light inside and all he could really tell was that the walls were made of brick as he walked down a flight of stairs into what he assumed was the basement of the building. Hanji was standing behind him and when he got to the bottom they grabbed his shoulders and made him do a quick ninety degree turn to the left and pushed him through a door.

The room on the other side was much brighter than the stairs and looked some sort of a combination living room / kitchen. Another door a few feet ahead of him was closed and he could hear a shower running behind it. Continuing to guide him by his shoulders, Hanji steered him into the room and forced him to do an abrupt about face to face them.

“So Eren. You're going to take a shower before you leave. Levi is in there right now but,” _Did she really have to say that?_ “When he gets out you can hop in quickly.” Hanji yawned widely and stretched “I'll find some spare clothing of mine that you can borrow since you're closer to my size than you are to Levi’s and we can tie these clothes up in a plastic bag and you can wash them when you get home. Does that sound okay? You have to promise me that you'll return the clothes though.”

“Sure, that's fine with me. I thought that I'm not supposed to be here though?”

“Levi was complaining about how filthy you are and since he's going to be driving you the rest of the way,” _wait, what?_ “you should take a shower first or you're going to have to deal with Captain Clean being pissy at you for the rest of the drive.”

A voice called out loudly from behind Hanji, “You know the only reason that she's lending you clothes is so that you have to return them, right brat? It's an excuse for her to experiment on you. Knock it off shitty goggles, the kid's had a rough enough day as is.”

_Levi is standing right there. Right behind Hanji. He's only wearing a towel. His hair is wet. Oh fuck, he doesn't have his mask on. Oh shit oh shit. I'm not supposed to see him without his mask. Superhero etiquette rule number one: thou shalt not look upon the unmasked face of another unless you are given explicit permission. I bet he has gorgeous eyes. No, I shouldn't look... but fuck if I know the next chance I'll get to see him and especially not like this._

As much as Eren wanted to look up and check out his superhero crush's face (and half-naked body), the fact that he had grown up with his sister had drilled in that number one rule of masked crime-fighting: you never look at someone's face if they're unmasked unless they have given you permission to do so. Usually that meant that you were either related to said superhero or were in a very intimate relationship with said superhero. _Rescuing a random college student, taking him back to your headquarters and accidentally walking out of the shower without a mask doesn't count as being given permission. Not by a long shot. Fuck, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look._

Hanji pressed a pile of clothes into his hands as he kept his eyes glued to the floor and shuffled towards the shower trying not to bump into anything. He heard Hanji voice some sort of confusion from behind him as he nearly walked into a table that he hadn't seen while looking down, but he ignored it. It was a bit embarrassing, but he refused to violate the first rule, especially not now. His embarrassment evaporated when he passed by Levi, giving him as much space as he possibly could and heard him address him quietly.

“You know the rules, brat. Not bad.”


	8. Clean Body, Dirty Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did the thing that we all hate in fics: I alluded to the smut but I didn't write it. I'm actually planning on writing it as a separate pwp one-shot since I did start to write it, but it was going to break up the flow of the chapter really badly so I left it out.
> 
> I'm really bad at art but I think I'm going to take a whack at drawing the Survey Corps just because I hate hate hate describing clothing in fics unless absolutely necessary but I want y'all to see what's in my brain space.

Eren knew that Levi's “not bad” was probably the closest he was going to get to a compliment, which was totally fine by him. Those two words carried a bit more weight than any “wow this is the greatest thing in the world” that he might get from even Armin or Mikasa. This felt truly earned. The person who had said it was clearly not in the habit of complimenting people (or being nice in general) thus making this a Big Deal. He felt a bit lightheaded as he continued to shuffle along into the bathroom to take his shower.

He was also pretty sure that he was lightheaded because all of his blood had gone straight to his dick with two words.

______

Undressed and under the hot spray of the shower, Eren began to scrub himself vigorously to eradicate all traces of bird shit from his body. Most of it had gotten on his clothes but there was also some on his stomach from where his shirt had ridden up at one point (gross) and in his hair (double gross). The violence of his scrubbing had two purposes: “get the bird shit the fuck off of me” and “calm my raging boner.” Unfortunately, his dick had other ideas and his mind kept supplying him with images of Levi in all of his lithe, spandex-covered glory and what his body might look like underneath that now that he had gotten a much closer look at the man’s body.

_Shit. Fuck. This is fucking embarrassing, it's like I'm twelve all over again. Just go the fuck away and I'll deal with you when I get home. I am in the headquarters of the Survey Corps there is no way that I am jerking off in their shower after they rescued me and offered to give me a shower and a ride home. No way in hell am I doing this._

His hand, however, seemed to have other ideas and was already lightly stroking the inside of his thighs as he struggled with his indecision.

_I'm going to be pitching a tent from now until I get back home. I might as well deal with it here. The car ride home doesn't need to be anymore awkward than it's already going to be. The last thing that I need is to be in a car with Levi while trying to hide a massive hard-on._

 

Decision made, Eren braced himself against the shower wall on his left forearm and let his right hand do what it did best.

______

Hanji had fallen asleep on the couch while he was in the shower. Given that the couch was completely occupied, Levi was sitting on top of the table sipping at a cup of coffee, grimacing and glaring at it as though it had insulted him personally.

“Um. Hi? I'm ready to go?”

Levi looked up from his coffee and glared at him. “Okay brat, let's get you home.”

“Is Hanji coming with us?”

“Hanji sleeps like the dead. Just you and me kid.” _Oh fuck._

“Good yeah. Awesome! I mean like, I can't wait to get home and sleep.” Eren trailed off laughing nervously. _Idiot, what the hell are you doing? Just stay calm. It's not like you just came harder than you have in months in the guy's shower while fantasizing about him fucking you against the wall in that same shower._

Now Levi was staring at him like there were lobsters crawling out of his ears.

“I'm just really tired. That was the worst kidnapping I've had to deal with in a while.”

Levi grunted and motioned for Eren to follow him up the stairs to the car.

After they had buckled themselves in Levi started up the car and drove out onto the dark street setting off in the direction of Eren's apartment. The car was dead silent. Levi's face was an inscrutable mask and Eren could only hope that his face didn't betray the whirlwind of thoughts going through his head right now.

_Holy fuck I'm getting a ride with The Hawk Levi._

_I hope Mikasa is okay._

_He's really hot._

_I wonder what the Titans did to Mikasa to hurt her like that._

_I can't believe I jerked off to him in the shower._

_Tonight was fucking terrifying._

_Levi is really strong and super hot._

_Hanji should have let him kill the other bastard._

_Those fuckers hurt Mikasa and scared Armin and me._

_I want to fucking kill them for that._

_How can I get Levi’s number?_


	9. Mortification and Injuries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armin gets introduced finally!
> 
> [I wrote a shameless smut one-shot about Eren's shower in the previous chapter.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1646957/chapters/3491174)
> 
> Also: I didn't get to do a ton of editing on this so I'm sorry if there are a shit ton of typos and grammatical errors.

Neither of them spoke for the entire twenty-five minute drive. Levi was staring straight ahead at the road and Eren looked at his lap and tried to hide the fact that he kept turning slightly to check out the other man.

_I can't decide if jerking off to a fantasy about him in the shower made this car ride better or worse. Like, yeah I'm not spending the whole damn ride trying to cover up a hard on, but I also can't stop thinking about the fact that I just jerked off to us having shower sex. Fuck everything._

They were still silent as they pulled up to Eren's apartment building. The silence stretched on uncomfortably as Eren sat with his hand on the door.

“So um. Thanks for the ride. It was really nice of you. Also the saving me from kidnappers thing even though you didn't mean to. But I'm really grateful for it so yeah...” _Shut the fuck up, Eren. Stop rambling._

“I'm a superhero, right? It's in the job description.” Levi’s voice was apathetic and Eren frowned a little at his tone.

“Right. Yeah. Oh and I totally won't tell anyone where you guys are and thanks for letting me shower and just yeah... thanks?”

Levi was silent. Eren recognized this as Levi's way of telling him to get the hell out of the car and hurried to grab his dirty clothes and open the door as fast as possible. He nearly tripped over the curb getting out but caught himself just in time. _Graceful as always. At least I didn't fall flat on my face in front of him. He was halfway up the steps to the front door when Levi rolled down the passenger side window and called after him._

“Oi, brat. The next time you jerk off in someone's shower you should at least have the fucking decency to disinfect the fucking thing. Damn hormonal brat.” And with those parting words he drove off.

Eren stood rooted to the spot, mortified.

He just remembered that one of The Hawk's powers was a keen sense of hearing.

______

Shaking slightly, Eren walked through the door to his apartment. The dim lights turned on as he started to close the door.

“Eren! You're back home! Are you okay?” Armin's disembodied voice echoed through the apartment.

“I'm fine Armin, I took a shower” _and it was one hell of a shower_ “at their headquarters since I got covered in bird crap while I was being held hostage.”

“They let you intotheir headquarters? That’s a pretty big deal Eren.”

“Yeah um, Dr. Scientist insisted since Le – I mean The Hawk was giving me a ride back. Is Mikasa alright?”

“She's going to be fine. She really needs to take a break for at least two weeks. I still don't know what they used to do it, but they delivered a blow to the nape of her neck. Any more force and she might have ended up with a broken – or at least fractured – neck. She's sleeping right now but I can display her injuries for you.”

Eren walked over to the couch and picked up a tablet from the coffee table, touching the screen to turn it on. Armin's face appeared on the screen and they continued to talk. Another window popped up beside Armin's face with an image of a basic female body shape. Areas were highlighted to indicate where injuries were and what they were. The nape of her neck was highlighted in red, the right side of her head and her right shoulder in orange to indicate bad bruising and cuts, and yellow on her right forearm and left hand to indicate minor scrapes and light bruising.

“That doesn't look very good, Armin.”

“By some miracle she doesn't have a concussion and she won’t have any lasting damage to her neck. Honestly, that's incredibly good news. Her neck will need to be in a brace for at least a week though. You need to make sure that she doesn't do anything too strenuous. I would but... not being able to physically stop her makes it somewhat problematic.”

“I know, Armin.”

“You should get some sleep. Your posture indicates that you need to complete a few REM cycles.”

“Alright, alright. I'm going to bed. Oh, before I forget! Hanji and Levi seemed to already know who or what the Titans are. You might want to reach out to them.”

“Eren, I highly doubt that they would take kindly to someone else’s AI trying to reach out to them. A group as well established as them is bound to be highly suspicious of anything remotely like me reaching out to them on an individual basis.”

“Okay, well I have to return Hanji's clothes anyway. I'll try and head over after class tomorrow so I can do that and ask them if they're okay with sharing their intel with us.”

“Hanji and Levi, huh?”

“Ugh. They kept referring to each other by their first names! And they didn't mind when I used their first names either.” _Well, neither of them said that it_ wasn't _okay._ “I'll talk to Dr. Scientist tomorrow, okay?”

“Thank you, Eren. Sleep well.”

“Good night, Armin.”

Eren placed the tablet back onto the coffee table and stretched his arms up over his head, bowing his back to loosen up his muscles. Even after a hot shower (and an orgasm) his muscles were still tight from spending hours tied up and flopped on his side.

_I wish I had Hanji's number or some way of contacting them. They wanted me to return their clothes, but I'm not supposed to know where their headquarters are. Hopefully Erwin (whoever he is) doesn't get too upset if I just show up tomorrow._

As soon as Eren's head hit the pillow he fell fast asleep.

In spite of his day, he dreamed of nothing.


	10. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. This shit is loooooooong for me.
> 
> Enjoy the sibling interaction. I really don't like that a lot of ereri fics either shunt Mikasa off to the side and are like DO NOT DISTURB or they portray her as some overprotective crazy person / competitor for Eren's affections. I'm not a fan of Mikasa for a whole host of reasons, but I don't want to do that; she's an integral part of Eren's life. So I guess I'm writing her the way that I would really like her to be.

Eren woke up earlier than he expected given the night before. It was still morning – and not just technically morning; it was only just after nine. Somehow, in spite of everything, he had woken up feeling well-rested. He stretched out lazily on his bed and yawned. He only gave himself a few moments to continue to lay in bed since it sounded like he was awake before Mikasa and there was no way in hell he was going to let her make breakfast for herself (or do anything for herself, really). She needed to rest up and get better.

He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair before throwing a sweatshirt on over the clothes he'd borrowed from Hanji. He hadn't even bothered changing out of them since it was just a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Eren shuffled over to the door of his bedroom to head to the living room. From the corner of his eye he caught the newspaper clipping he had pinned above his desk – a story from the local newspaper about the Survey Corps with a decently-sized image of the four of them standing together. And that was when it really came rushing back.

_I totally got off in their shower thinking about Levi and Levi totally heard me. Fuck. He probably thinks I'm a total pervy weirdo fanboy. I mean, I kind of am I guess... but fuck if I would have done that if I remembered that he had crazy good hearing. How did I freaking forget that?_

Eren's head connected with his door making a dull thud noise.

He pushed it open and went to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Contrary to popular belief (or at least Horseface's belief), he was actually really good at cooking. Having spent so many years living with only Mikasa he had become very skilled at making relatively healthy meals on the fly and had become good at cooking in general. Opening up the fridge he scanned it for what they had; he really needed to go grocery shopping.

“The milk is expired, Eren.” Armin's voice came out of the radio on the kitchen counter.

“It expired yesterday. It's still totally fine.” Eren grabbed the tablet off of the coffee table in the living room again and propped it up on the counter as he started to pull out ingredients.

“Humans are incredibly susceptible to food-borne pathogens.”

“Armin, it expired yes-ter-day. It smells totally okay and it's not lumpy at all. Jeez.”

“Mikasa isn't in perfect health, Eren.” Armin's avatar glared at him from the tablet screen. Eren still couldn't believe what a good job Marco had done in creating Armin. Not only was he an incredibly advanced AI with a highly realistic emotions cortex, the avatar was incredibly realistic as well. He'd have to thank Marco again the next time he saw him.

“Okay, okay. I'll thin out the eggs with water and put some more cheese in.”

Eren set about making omelets; two huge handfuls of cheese in with the eggs along with chopped tomatoes, mushrooms and some slightly squishy bell peppers. He popped some bread into the toaster and began to brown some sausages in another pan. From his sister's room he could hear Armin telling her to wake up and eat some breakfast. He was bouncing back and forth trying to keep on top of everything so that the omelets and toast didn't burn and the sausages cooked evenly.

“Holy crap, Eren. This is amazing.”

Mikasa was standing at the entrance to the kitchen. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a neck brace. She also had gauze wrapped around her right forearm and another piece taped to her forehead. She limped slightly as she moved towards the kitchen table to sit down.

“Nope. Not allowed.” Eren moved in front of her.

“What the fuck, Eren? Let me sit down.”

“No, you're going to lay down on the couch and I'm going to bring breakfast to you there. You need to rest and you're going to be more comfortable there.”

“You're getting back at me for all the times I babied you when you were sick or hurt, aren't you?”

“Clearly.” Eren grinned back at her. “Five minutes to food. Sit your ass down and pick out something to watch.”

Mikasa grumbled under her breath but went to the couch without any further argument. She lounged out across the whole couch and put her feet up, ensuring that Eren wouldn't be able to sit down with her. She turned the television on and started flipping through channels while Eren finished cooking and plated their food. He walked in and glared at Mikasa who was resolutely looking away from him and at an infomercial for an exercise machine that looked like a torture device.

“So do I get to sit down or what?”

“You're the one who said to get comfy.”

“Mikasaaaaaaa. I made you breakfast. Unless you move your feet I will put it downstairs for the Robinsons' dogs.”

“Alright, alright.” Mikasa shifted into a sitting position so that she could eat the food on the coffee table.

“Do you want anything to drink? We're out of milk but I think there's some orange juice.”

“Water's fine.”

______

An hour later they were both sitting quietly watching television. Breakfast dishes had been dumped unceremoniously in the sink to be dealt with later. For now it was just the two of them curled up watching television together for the first time in a month.

Mikasa was the first to break the comfortable silence. Turning towards Eren she began to speak.

“About last night...”

“I'm fine.”

“Eren, you could have been seriously hurt. Why didn't you call me?”

“I had my phone out and I was going to... and then I dropped it in one of the stickleback tanks.” Mikasa was staring at him incredulously.

“You dropped your phone in a fish tank?”

“Yeah. It's not like we live that far away and nobody had so much as looked at me funny in weeks so I thought that it would be okay.”

“Eren...”

“I'm just sick of having you fly me everywhere as soon as it gets a little dark out. I'm sick of being kidnapped and being a supervillain's pawn. I just wanted to fucking walk home and then those fuckers showed up.”

Mikasa sighed heavily and looked back at the screen. Minutes passed by as they both stared ahead not really seeing what was on television.

“Stop worrying, you ended up worse off than I did. Armin told me that you took a bad hit to your neck… Are you feeling okay?”

“I suppose I feel as well as can be expected after nearly having my neck broken. Mainly I'm just pissed off that I'm not going to be able to do anything for a few weeks. Armin said I shouldn't leave the apartment unless absolutely necessary for the next week and after that I need to take it easy for a few more. It looks like I'm going to be on the sidelines for a month. No superhero-ing for me.”

“I'm really sorry.”

“It's not your fault. You didn't do this to me.”

“I should have figured out another way to contact you.”

“You didn't know anything was going to happen. You couldn't have.” Mikasa smiled a little bit. “Unless you're a Titan, huh?”

“Haha. Yeah, that's me. I'm Mr. Titan and I'm here to break your neck and eat you.” She rolled her eyes at him and tried to hide a smile. Eren paused for a moment and continued on in a more serious tone. “That reminds me, they’re a big group, not just those three. At least that's what it sounded like according to Han – Dr. Scientist and The Hawk.”

“Wait. What? When the hell did you run into them?”

“Last night, they're the ones who rescued me. Well, they didn't intend to. They were actually there because they had intel saying that whoever kidnapped me was going to meet with someone important in the organization. So Le – The Hawk showed up and took them down and then Dr. Scientist came in and they untied me and carted them off. They even gave me a ride home.”

_I really need to clear up this names thing. It seems like it's okay for me to call them by their first names, but I'd never heard them before that so I doubt that Mikasa has either. I know that Mikasa is the exception and not the rule. Just because everyone in the superhero-supervillain world knows who she is doesn't mean that everyone else is the same. And there is no fucking way I'm mentioning the shower unless I have to._

“Armin told me that he’d heard from you and that you were okay a little after eleven and I know that I fell asleep at about a quarter to midnight and you still weren't home. What time did you get in?” Mikasa was narrowing her eyes at him and staring intently at his ears, just waiting for them to flush red.

“I think it was around twelve-thirty? Maybe closer to one?”

“What the hell? How could it possibly take you that long to get home? Did you end up out by the coast again?”

“No, it's just that I ended up getting bird shit all over me while I was being held hostage or whatever and they offered me a shower at their place since The Hawk didn't want me to be fucking gross when he drove me home.”

“The Hawk drove you home.”

“Yes. He did.”

“You took a shower at the Survey Corps HQ?”

“Dr. Scientist insisted... though I think it was actually The Hawk...”

“They didn't do anything to you? No creepy experiments or anything?”

“Hand to god, Dr. Scientist didn't do anything other than offer me a shower and lend me the clothes I'm wearing right now. Armin would have picked up if there was anything weird with them so I'm pretty sure we're okay.”

“So you spent time with the freak and the midget at their little team headquarters rather than coming home?”

“No, it's not like that.” Eren started to flail his arms as he tried to explain what happened. “I was in the warehouse district and they weren't that far away but that's still a half hour from here and on top of the shower... well, it took a bit. It's not like I was out getting drinks with them or something. I'm pretty sure Levi wants me dead right now anyway.”

“Levi?” _Oh fuck. I didn't mean to do that. I was doing so well with names before that. Fuck everything._

“I'm going to go wash the dishes.”

“Eren.”

“What? The dishes need to be washed.”

“Who the hell is Levi?”

_Just drop it Mikasa. Jesusfuckingchrist, I think it's pretty obvious at this point and you should know why I'm not answering you._

“I shouldn't have said his name.” He gave her a pointed look.

“So you're on a first name basis with The Hawk?”

“If my first name is 'brat' then yeah, I guess.”

“He called you a brat?”

“Repeatedly. I guess I kinda deserved it at a few points, but I don't think he means anything by it. He's sort of an asshole anyway so I'm not really taking it seriously.”

Miksasa was staring at him with her mouth slightly open.

“I also kinda need to return these clothes to Dr. Scientist and I'd really like to not run into this other guy they mentioned so I'd really like to go out soon and do that.”

“You're going back to their headquarters?”

“Yeah, Armin also wanted me to ask for more information on the Titans. They definitely know more than we do.”

“Fine. Take a shower and go. Pick up some milk on your way back. Get me some Cherry Garcia too while you're out.”

“Will do!”

Eren walked towards the bathroom to take a shower so that he could head over and return the clothes to Hanji. He really hoped that whoever “Erwin” was, that he wasn't there.

Thinking about going back to their headquarters brought back memories from the previous night and stepping into the shower brought back even more. He was at half-mast almost immediately at the thought of seeing Levi in spandex again, but the memory of Levi's parting words to him killed any boner that he might have had.

He didn't want to run into “Erwin” but he really didn't want to run into Levi.

 


	11. Have Some Vodka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is raw and completely unedited. I meant to write another paragraph or two and edit it before posting, but I'm supposed to spend the day with my mom's parents (who I really dislike) and apparently we have to *be there* at 11am and not leave here then and I don't want to leave you guys hanging what with my breakneck update pace for the past few days.
> 
> So have some of my writing in its 100% unedited glory. I'm pretty sure I fucked up Hanji's gender somewhere so please point that shit out to me so I can fix it. I hate inconsistent gender pronouns.

Eren hopped on the bus heading east towards the warehouse district. He figured that he would walk from one of the stops along the line rather than trying to sync up a transfer with the line that ran closer to Survey Corps HQ. It was a gorgeous early fall day; sunny and cool with a gentle breeze, even in the city he could smell the fallen leaves and their subtle decay.

He inhaled the scent deeply as he walked along. He hadn't noticed the night before, but their headquarters was on a block where every store seemed to sell paper and custom stationary. He could hear machines thrumming and whirring loudly inside of the adjacent buildings even though the windows were all closed. Walking down the alley towards the door that he had gone through the night before he wondered if this was the best idea.

_Hanji said that I should return their clothes, but they never said how. I was hoping that maybe they left their number or email or something in the bag with my dirty clothes, but I guess not. I just really don't want to run into that “Erwin” guy they were talking about, it sounds like he wouldn't be happy if I showed up and I really don't want to get Hanji or Levi in trouble since they invited me in to take a shower. Oh god, what if I run into Levi? That was absolutely humiliating last night. How the fuck did I forget that he had super sensitive hearing? The Hawk is a fantastic hunter; super sensitive hearing, phenomenal eyesight, amazing reflexes, a gorgeous fit body..._

Eren found himself standing in front of the door in the alley that he had gone through the night before. There wasn't any indication that it lead anywhere interesting. No handle or knob, no name plate, no buzzer, no indication whatsoever that this door lead to the headquarters of one of the most elite superhero groups in their region. They may have based themselves in this city, but he would regularly see stories about them turning up in other places around the region, though it would usually just be one or two of them rather than all four.

He knew that he could continue standing there all day, but there was now way that he was going to chicken out right here on their doorstep.

_Fuck this bullshit. Hanji wanted their clothes back so here I am._

Eren knocked forcefully at the door.

______

He stood there for a few minutes awkwardly scuffing his shoes against the pavement. He decided to knock again just in case they hadn't heard, this time a bit louder.

A few seconds later he heard pounding from behind the door before it was flung open into his face.

“Eren! You're back here so soon!” Hanji had come bounding out from behind the door and they were smiling at him. Their face immediately fell into a comedic expression of shocked horror. “Oh no, it looks like I caught your face with the door. Come inside and we'll clean you up.”

He trailed behind them as they pulled him along, a cut above his eyebrow was bleeding profusely and he tried to maintain his grip on the backpack that held Hanji's clothes. They lead him down the same stairs as last night and into the living room / kitchen area.

“I'm so sorry Eren. Here, let's put these things down and now you come with me to the bathroom and we'll patch you up.” _Oh great, the bathroom. The bathroom where I jerked off to your crime-fighting partner. The partner who then told me that he knew that I jerked off to him. And now here I am, back in the same bathroom having someone patch up the fact that they just split my head open._

Hanji dabbed at the blood that was still oozing out of the wound and asked him to hold the cloth to the injury while they rummaged around under the sink looking for the first aid kit. When they couldn't find it there they asked Eren to stay where he was (sitting on the toilet) and that they were going to look for the kit in the hall closet. And please don't move.

The blood coming from above his eye didn't seem to be slowing down even after a few minutes and so he sat there waiting for Hanji to come back, hopefully with at least some band aids. The area seemed to be quiet and Eren leaned back against the tank of the toilet, relaxing his posture now that the pain in his head wasn't so sharp.

“So are you here to clean the shower, brat?” _Oh fuck no. Not now. Why now?_

Eren sat there staring at Levi like a deer in the headlights while frozen by his own mortification. His heart started slamming in his chest and it was all he could do to continue breathing and ignore the instinct to hide underneath something.

“Levi, it was only a few hairs. I don't think that's worth scaring the crap out of this little cutie.”

“Hn.”

“I know that you like to keep the shower clean, but really... I think you're getting a bit too worked up over a few hairs.”

_He didn't tell Hanji. I mean, why would he tell Hanji? Then again, he doesn't have a reason not to either and they're clearly friends even if he's a jerk to them. Then again, it seems like he's a jerk to everyone. I guess it's pretty embarrassing for him to admit that he heard me even if I bet Hanji would absolutely love to hear about it for scientific purposes or whatever._

“I found the first aid kit so let's get a bandage on that and – ”

“You're not going to disinfect it first?” Levi was looking at Hanji with disgust.

“Oh I'm sorry Captain Clean, are you worried that his eyebrow is going to fall off? I'm sure we could get a spare pair from Erwin if that happens.”

“Hanji... that's gross. There should be some alcohol swabs in the kit, use them for fuck's sake.”

They started going through the kit, pushing things around in the box. It looked like it had been kept in some semblance of order at some point but they had simply given up trying to keep it in order. It seemed to consist mostly of gauze and surgical tape right now though there were clearly a number of band aids thrown in as well.

“I think we're out.”

“Stay there. Don't move. I'll be right back.” Levi glared at the both of them and walked out of the room.

“Thanks for patching me up, I could have just left the clothes with you and gone home. It really isn't a big deal.”

“I'm pretty sure your sister would have hunted me down if you went home looking like that.” Hanji pulled his hand away from his eyebrow and gestured to the mirror. The cut on his eyebrow was not insignificant and the cloth he had been holding was covered in blood. He stared at the cloth for a moment before pressing it back on to the cut. “I clocked you real good there, didn't I?”

“I can't fucking believe you. Who the hell used up the bottle of alcohol that we had in the hall closet?”

“Oh... I think we used it up when Mike got that nasty gash from Dagger Jack.”

“Hanji, that was over a month ago. Did you seriously not replace it?”

“I've been busy! And besides, we've had really good luck with injuries lately. Not so much as a scrape in almost three weeks.”

“You've got to be shitting me. So basically it was going to take one of us getting injured to restock the rubbing alcohol.”

“I guess?”

“Fucking hell, Hanji.”

“Well Eren, it looks like Captain Clean has been defeated. So let's just put a band aid on it and you'll be right as rain.”

“I never said that I didn't find _anything_ to use as a disinfectant.” Levi held up a mostly empty bottle of cheap vodka.

“No way. You are not putting shitty booze on my face.”

“So you'd rather get an infection?”

_Jesusfuck that glare is terrifying. I guess it doesn't really matter if it's cheap, shitty vodka if it's just going on a cut though. And I really don't want to make him any more pissed off than he already is._

“Okay fine. Douse me in your lighter fluid.”

Eren pulled the cloth away from his face and Hanji soaked a corner of it in the vodka. Levi looked even more disgusted at the fact that Hanji was using the bloody rag to clean him up. Eren whimpered as the vodka hit the cut on his face and Hanji wiped off the blood around it.

“Hanji, what the fuck did you do to the kid? It looks like he needs stitches.”

“Nah, he just needs a band aid.”

“He needs at least two butterfly closures on that. Possibly three. Eren, please tell this idiot that you want them to take proper medical care of you.”

Eren was staring at Levi in shock. _Does he actually give a shit about me? Or is he just being an ass to Hanji? No, I bet that he just doesn't want it to be messy, he seems to have a thing for things being clean and tidy. There's no way he's actually being nice after last night._

“You know how I am with stitches, Mike's always the one that handles them. I don't want to mangle Eren's cute face. It already looks like it's big enough that it might leave a scar.”

“That would actually be pretty cool.”

“You _want_ a scar on your face, brat?”

“No nonono, I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind. Though I almost never end up with scars. Mikasa is kinda jealous of it actually. I've only had one scar that stuck around for more than a year. I actually still have it. I got it when I was nine it's right –”

“I don't really care. Hanji, just put some butterfly closures on him and get him out of here.” He turned around and walked out the door.

Hanji continued to dab at the cut and told Eren to press the cloth to his face again while they looked for the butterfly closures in the first aid kit. They pulled out three of them and held them up near his face to gauge whether or not he needed two or three of them.

“Pretty sure Levi was just trying to be an ass, the only way we could put three on you is if we shaved your eyebrow and I doubt you want us to do that.”

“Yeah, I'd really like to not do that. Horseface wouldn't fucking shut up about it if I showed up in class short an eyebrow.”

“Horseface? Is that another local superhero?”

“No, he's a guy I know...”

“Oi, goggles. Is the brat still here? Erwin just got back.”


	12. Commander Handsome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you spot where the previous chapter was supposed to end?
> 
> This isn't super long because I ended chapter 11 before I wanted to so this is a really weird straddling-between-chapters kind of chapter. I might have another up tonight, I might not. We'll see.

“Erwin is back?”

“Yeah, he just walked in upstairs. He's trying to talk to the trash we picked up last night. They're finally conscious enough to talk. I guess some people just can't handle their horse tranquilizers.”

Levi was looking at his hand, fingers curled and inspecting his nails for potential grime. He kept any emotion off of his face, but he shot Hanji a look that Eren couldn't decipher. Whatever it was, it had Hanji furrowing their eyebrows and looking back at Eren.

“He's not going to be completely happy that we brought him here, is he?”

“Probably not.” Levi shrugged, “then again, who knows with Erwin? The kid _is_ Red Scarf's brother and he clearly knows the rules.”

“And he's so adorable, there's no way that Erwin would do or say anything mean to him.”

“Hn. If you like fifteen year olds.”

“I'm twenty-one! …and I'm not adorable.”

“Now that was adorable.” Hanji was grinning at him. “See, Levi? No way Erwin will be mad.”

“You just want to experiment on him.”

“Mayyyyyybeeeeee...”

“Freak.” Levi turned on his heel and walked away silently. Eren couldn't tell if he had walked up the stairs or not.

“Well, we might as well just bring you upstairs now and introduce you to him rather than have him find you down here later. Does your head feel okay?”

“Yeah. I've had worse. Occupational hazard of being the perpetually kidnapped brother.”

______

Eren hadn't realized that the majority of their headquarters was actually on the ground floor of the building. The area downstairs was apparently for immediately after they returned from their missions. Hanji explained that Levi had insisted that there be somewhere for them to wash and potentially grab something quick to eat in order to keep the rest of their space clean. They referred to it as “the quarantine zone” since Levi refused to let anybody go directly into the main part of the building without showering there first.

_So basically my crush is a total control freak with OCD who heard me jerk off in the shower. Great, you really know how to pick 'em, Jaeger. He's still hot though, so I guess there's that. I just wish his personality was just a little bit less... asshole-ish. I'd feel way better about still wanting to have him fuck me if he even attempted to be nice. Though I guess yelling at Hanji to properly deal with the cut could be considered 'nice'? It probably is for him..._

As they walked through a hallway at the top of the stairs that he hadn't noticed earlier, a large open area came into view. There was a workstation that took up the entire far left corner that looked like a small bomb had gone off, scattering papers and objects out into the rest of the room. Just looking at it, Eren could tell that it was where Hanji usually worked. Levi was currently standing next to two other men, both blond (though one had longer and messier hair) and talking about something. Again, Eren caught the word “titan” but very little else.

“Hello everybody!” Hanji's voice was loud and they smiled broadly as everyone turned around. Their enthusiasm was countered by Eren's increasing discomfort as he realized who one of the men was.

_Holy fuck. Commander Handsome._

“Erwin! I found a new subject for my research on the physiological responses related to extensive exposure to stressors related to superhero-supervillain dynamics.” They continued to smile brightly even as the man ( _I guess Erwin is Commander Handsome!?_ ) furrowed his brows as he stared back.

“Hanji...”

“I think this is going to be really useful. Or at least interesting. Very interesting.”

“Hanji.”

“He could really provide a breakthrough in a field that gets minimal attention due to its relatively small subject group.”

“Hanji.”

“He was there when we picked up those two so I can question them and look at it from both sides of the experience.”

“You were there with the two members of Titan?” Erwin turned towards Eren, his gaze sharpened and he looked at him intently. “Do you remember anything that they said while you were with them?”

_Holy crap. Commander Handsome is talking to me. He's actually interested in what I have to say. I'm not really a fan of the Captain America type, but damn he is good looking. Shut up, Jaeger. Answer the damn question._

“Yeah, it was a little difficult to hear what they were saying. I really only caught a sentence or two. Honestly, they mostly ignored me.”

“Hmm. Would you mind talking with me about it?”

“Um... yeah? Sure!” Eren felt the need to stand up a little straighter when he was talking with the other man. “Could I ask you some questions as well? We hadn't heard anything about them until just last night and they hurt my sister pretty badly. Armin was hoping that you could give us some information.”

Four sets of eyes were on him and Eren felt like he was burning up from the gaze of one of them. Erwin was looking at him, evaluating his request against what they could possibly gain from what he had to say about his own interaction with Titan.

“His sister is Red Scarf, since the brat can't seem to be bothered to add that bit of information.” Eren flushed a bright red at Levi's comment.

_Fuck, I should have mentioned that first._

“Doesn't Red Scarf patrol the West Side of the city?” Erwin was looking at Mike now, concern evident on his face.

“Mmph.” Mike gave a curt nod.

“So they're expanding their operations north _and_ west.”

Everyone remained silent. Eren didn't know anything about Titan but he could tell from the tone of Erwin's voice and the looks on their faces that this was in no way a good thing. Erwin looked lost in thought, staring down slightly and to his right.

“I believe that an exchange in information would be beneficial to all parties involved.”


	13. Fractured Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter so that we're back on track with where things are (roughly) supposed to line up in terms of the narrative in the chapters.
> 
> Note: I had written that Levi called Erwin and not Mike about the kidnapper's body back in chapter five. It was supposed to be Mike and I just goofed the name and didn't realize it until I was writing this chapter and happened to check. I went back and corrected it, if you notice that there's somewhere else that I goofed let me know so I can change it.
> 
> (Oh and the chapter title is an awful irreverant pun, you'll see)

“So they didn't say anything to you?”

“No, they pretty much just tied me up and dumped me on a couch covered in bird shit for three hours. Oh and I got shuffled into the bathroom at one point to take a piss.”

“Aw, Levi he's one shit joke short of being your long-lost cousin.”

“Shut it, goggles.” Hanji laughed and went back to typing something on their laptop.

Erwin was sitting across a table from Eren with the corners of his mouth drawn down slightly. He had been hoping that Eren had more information than this.

“Did you overhear them saying anything?”

“No, they were pretty... wait, there was one thing a little before Levi showed up. They said that they were waiting for someone named Abe.”

“Abe?” All four of them were suddenly looking at him intently. “Do you think that it might have been “Ape” that you heard them say?”

“I guess, yeah. They sound pretty close and I sort of thought they said “Ape” but that didn't make any sense. One of the people there was called “Smiles” though, I remember that pretty clearly.”

“Neither of the two that we have in our custody are Smiles. She normally wears a mask with a fairly terrifying grin on it. Did you see her leave, Eren?”

 _Levi had spoke with someone after they rescued me about the body of the third Titan member. I don't think it was Erwin. Does Erwin know already? Did Levi and Hanji not realize who it was? Is Smiles even important or do they just know who some of the_ _members of Titan_ _are already? I really don't want to rat_ _out_ _the two of them. They rescued me and they brought me here to take a shower after even though they shouldn't have. I really,_ really _don't want to get them in trouble with Erwin... when did I start calling all of them by their first names? And why doesn't Mike talk_ _at all?_

Eren looked at Levi and Hanji and felt his stomach doing small flops in nervousness. Hanji was clearly trying to ignore what was going on by working on their computer, but Levi was looking at him. His face and eyes were expressionless, but he gave him a small nod. Eren hoped that he interpreted it correctly as “just tell him, brat” and that he wasn't about to screw him over.

“If Smiles was the one in the really creepy mask then they're um... they aren't exactly alive anymore.”

“Not alive?” Erwin's gaze immediately turned to Levi. “What happened?” Levi breathed in slowly.

“I kicked in the door and the fucker had the misfortune to be standing right behind it. She hit a support post in the room on the way back and her neck fractured. She died on impact. I think it's poetic justice given that she liked to fracture necks herself. Smiles was a psychopathic animal, I'm not about to shed tears over her.”

“Levi... Smiles may not have been important in the organization as a whole, but out of the three of them she was the one that I would have liked to have here right now.”

“...it was an accident. I'm sorry that I can't see through walls, Erwin.” Levi's tone had changed from frustrated to relatively docile with the apology. Even the sarcasm was softened by the tone.

“And I'm assuming the two of you knew as well?” Mike and Hanji nodded, the latter having given up on the charade of doing work. Erwin reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “We're going to talk about this later.”

An uncomfortable silence settled briefly while Erwin sat pinching his nose and Hanji did their best to hide behind their laptop screen again. Mike was standing stoically beside Hanji while Levi simply stood stiffly, almost at attention just behind Erwin. Eren sat with his head hanging down, watching everyone through the hair that fell over his eyes.

_Everybody seems so on-edge about it. That Smiles person may have been someone that they wanted to talk to, but why is Erwin so upset if it was clearly an accident? Especially when he also said that they weren't all that important really. I mean, Mike and Hanji definitely tried to cover for Levi, but he doesn't seem nearly as upset about that. What's making him single out Levi?_

His subconscious provided him with the memory of Levi standing over the man near the couch where Eren had been with his knife out. _Would he have killed that man or was it simply a threat? Is Erwin worried that Levi killed Smiles intentionally? ...has Levi killed someone intentionally before?_

And that sunk into his stomach like a cold stone.


	14. Questions Beget Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Another short chapter, but a lot happens (I think).
> 
> I'm going to be doing the "lol Levi knows what happened when Eren was showering" aside later today while I figure out the next chapter. It's either going to be a non-Eren POV with the Survey Corps or Eren and the 104th. Haven't decided yet. But definitely another chapter in addition to the aside today!
> 
> Also, grammatical errors are probably going to increase because I'm sick of reading each chapter a bazillion times before posting it. (Sorry)

The uncomfortable silence that had blanketed the room was broken by Erwin.

“I have a few more questions that I want to ask you, but I believe they can wait for a bit. You said that you wanted more information on Titan. What did you want to know? We might not be able to tell you everything that we know, but we can try to tell you as much as we can.”

“I know that they were waiting to kidnap me and that they did kidnap me. I know that there's a guy named Ape who's involved. And that they nearly killed my sister, Mikasa – Red Scarf. I'd like some answers about who the hell these guys are.”

Erwin held his hands, fingers twined together, up near his face and stared at Eren over them, considering what he wanted to divulge. He took a few moments to pause and consider it.

“Titan appears – at first sight – to be nothing more than a traditional crime syndicate just like the Stationary Guard and Military Police. Though I suppose the Miliitary Police think that they're doing good, but that's besides the point. My point is that they seem no different from any other group on the outside which makes them very dangerous. Ordinary people, policymakers, the police; they see nothing more than a group of criminals selling drugs, stealing, laundering money... the usual. Nothing really out of the ordinary and so they aren't treated as anything but ordinary. However, we've been tracking them since they first started showing up in the city and what we see and what the public sees are two very different things. They may participate in the activities of ordinary criminals but it is masking their objective, which from a certain vantage point could be called the destruction of humanity; literal and figurative. They're working on... something. We were hoping to get some more information last night. The fact that Ape was supposed to be there tells us that you were actually in the middle of something very big and that our intel wasn't bad, but it wasn't complete either.”

The silence this time wasn't uncomfortable, but Eren could here his pulse ringing in his ears as everything Erwin said started to sink in. He had been in the middle of some big deal. _Why was I there? They were clearly looking for me when they kidnapped me and they_ _tried to kill_ _Mikasa, but why me?_ _Why did they take me?_

“Why would I be there then? If Ape is so important then why was I at that meet-up?”

“There's the possibility that it was simply a coincidence. That they had the goal of capturing you to incapacitate your sister and they also had to meet with Ape that night. I think we can agree that the likelihood of that is extraordinarily low. They wanted you specifically, for what reason I don't know yet. We might not have gotten this information if Hanji hadn't requested that you return their clothing.”

Erwin shot a look at the other three in the room.

“You should probably make sure that your sister is alright. We've kept you here for quite a while. I would appreciate it if you could come by tomorrow evening so that I can ask you a few more questions about what happened; does eight o'clock work for you?” Eren gave him a small nod, barring any mishaps he would be done with the sticklebacks by then. “Knowing what we know now, we might be able to get a bit more information out of the two in our custody. Perhaps I will have some answers for you as to your involvement in all of this tomorrow.”

Erwin stood up and walked over to Hanji to discuss whatever they had been working on while he and Eren talked. Mike moved away to pull out what looked like a pile of maps and laid them out on a table, sifting through them. Levi stood still where he had been the whole time. His posture was no longer stiff, but he remained in a static position for a moment longer than the others. Before he turned towards his teammates he spoke softly to Eren.

“One of us will pick you up tomorrow. Where will you be at that time?”

“I'm going to be just finishing up my hours at the lab then. I'll be at the bio lab building at Trost University. Do you need directions?”

“Shockingly enough, even superheroes use Google Maps.”

Eren nodded at him and turned around to leave.

_I don't know what to think about him anymore. He's clearly killed someone before from the sound of it, but did he mean to do it? Or was it an accident like what happened last night?_

_I hope he isn't the one picking me up tomorrow._

  
  



	15. History and Interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I plan on making up for it tomorrow with a longer one with Eren and the 104th.
> 
> Update schedule: For the rest of the week I will probs only be posting one chapter per day. I'm going to be in NYC tomorrow and Friday and my bday is Thursday sooooo... it's a busy week in my personal life. Depending on life things, we might be down to one update per day permanently and potentially less. Sorry I spoiled you rotten the past few days. (-_-;)
> 
> ALYNA Asides: Please please please read chapter two, it includes Levi's POV for what happened when Smiles died / they rescued Eren. I can't squash it into the main story for narrative reasons (which is why ALYNA Asides exists) but it is actually pretty damn important and it adds a lot to this chapter.
> 
> Sorry, I feel like this note was longer than the chapter itself is.

As soon as the door closed behind Eren, Erwin sighed and looked at the other members of the Survey Corps. He was the _de facto_ leader of the group and he had been the one to bring them all together. Mike had been the first person who he had approached; they were in a different city at the time and had worked for the same employer as a part of their secret identities. Erwin realized shortly after meeting him that his coworker Mike regularly disappeared at the same time as his superhero alter ego would appear elsewhere in the city. When they finally bumped into each other trying to take down a local mob boss they had decided to partner up and share resources. Mike deferred to Erwin's judgment but he never let it go unquestioned if he had doubts.

Hanji had found them. They happened to see them in action and decided to approach them about being their resident mad scientist. It helped that they were a second degree black belt and appeared to be absolutely fearless and able to keep calm in most situations. Their unique way of approaching the challenges that they faced proved to be incredibly useful even if their methods were rather unorthodox.

And then there was Levi.

Erwin saw potential in him years ago and managed to convince Levi to join him and Mike shortly before they met Hanji. Loathe as Levi would be to admit it outright, it was clear that he was closest with Hanji since they had joined at roughly the same time.

He didn't demand unquestioning loyalty from his teammates, but Erwin was surprised that both Hanji _and_ Mike had helped to cover for Levi when he killed Smiles. He supposed that Mike had technically brought it up earlier when he said that the mission had proved to be fruitless and that someone had died. He realized now that he had made the mistake of assuming that it was the _Titans_ who had killed someone and not Levi. He hadn't pressed the issue further even though he should have, Mike had left it right there for him to ask about and he had brushed it off.

He needed to get things straightened out. Now.

  
  


“Would the three of you please explain what you were thinking when you covered up Smiles' death?”

______

Mike

“I got a call from Hanji and Levi that one of them had been killed when Levi kicked the door in. They didn't mention that it was Smiles. I didn't know until just now when Eren said it. After the Titans took out the Special Ops Squad two weeks ago... I think we're all still getting over that. I think it's effecting our judgment.”

“Did you see Smiles' body?”

“We both know his history, but I saw the body and unless he is _that_ good at doctoring a body (and I know he isn't), it was an accident.”

______

Hanji

“I was two floors below Levi so that he could listen in with as little excess noise as possible. I heard him kick the door in – pretty damn forcibly too – and came running. He had dropped one of them right by the door and he was by the couch standing over the other guy.”

“What was he like when you walked in?”

“Levi definitely had the “scary bastard” vibe going on, but he was honestly pretty focused on Eren being there given what we had actually come for. He was pretty snappish when I brought up the dead body. Well... more than usual.”

______

Levi

“What happened?”

“I misread the situation and moved too soon. I'm sorry, Erwin.” Levi hung his head and sighed deeply. “I didn't have to make the choice that I did, but I did and I honestly don't regret it. Given that we didn't see any additional Titans in the area I'm inclined to believe that it was a dummy drop. One of them knows something they aren't sharing.”

“And if it was Smiles?”

“I'm sorry, Erwin.”

“Why do you think they covered for you?”

“I honestly have no idea why Mike agreed. Maybe it's because of what happened to the Special Ops Squad. I don't know that anyone can forget, or forgive what happened to them. Hanji... is Hanji. You know we work together. I guess we both got hung up on there being a kid there that we didn't expect. He was talking about Red Scarf maybe being dead; things were messy.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“No.”

 


	16. The Sign of Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the title is the title of a Sherlock Holmes story but it fits really well with this one so hashtag yolo.
> 
> This one is short because it took a wayyyyyyy more serious turn than I originally planned for and I couldn't deal with the emotional whiplash of this and then Eren hanging out with the 104th in the same chapter. Also this kinda ensures that I'm sticking to my promise of one chapter a day this week even though I'm busy (look at me being an ass). I might be able to churn out the second part while I'm on the train going into NYC today, but it's unlikely. If I do get enough done on the train then I will finish it when I get back and post this late-late in my time zone (idk what that means for yours, lol)
> 
> Can you guess who the four people are? (I think it's pretty obvi, but idk)

The further Eren moved away from the Survey Corps headquarters, the more his discomfort began to dissipate. It was still there in his mind; the Titans, Levi's past, his own involvement in everything. B ut he was able to look at it from an increasingly objective opinion as he put physical and literal distance between himself and the group of superheroes.

_I really hope Erwin is able to figure something out by the time I see him again tomorrow. Even just the smallest bit of information would help. I just need to know why I was there; if somehow I'm important in all of this. It's such a strange thought though, that after all these years of having Mikasa's actions influencing my life I might somehow be influencing hers, at least in terms of all of this crime-fighting superhero bullshit._

Eren's discomfort came back and he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He could feel a wave of horror breaking over him and making him sick.

_What if I'm the reason that she was nearly killed._

But no, he wouldn't let himself go there. Not yet. Not until he knew more. He pushed back the guilt welling up and walked forward resolutely towards the bus stop and picked up a soothing mantra that he repeated it to himself as he walked.

_We need milk and Cherry Garcia. Milk and Cherry Garcia. Milk and Cherry Garcia._

______

"Hey, Mikasa ! I'm back."

" Eren ! You were gone longer than I expected." Mikasa was frow ning at him. "Did something happen? You don't look so good..."

" I just got grilled on everything that happened last night and they told me a lot of stuff about the Titans that's kinda heavy."

"I thought that you were only there to drop off Dr. Scientist's clothes?"

"I was, but then Commander Handsome showed up and he wanted to ask me questions about what happened w hile I was kidnapped. I thought that I didn't know shit, but apparently what I had to say was pretty important? It was weird, I asked him about the Titans and he gave me a lot of informat ion, but he was definitely holding back."

"I'm a little jealous of you meeting them, but The Hawk is an asshole and Nose is creepy and Dr. Scientist is just weird. I guess I can say I admire their professional work and I should probably never actually meet them. "

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it." Eren laughed at the idea of Mikasa having to interact with any of the members of the Survey Corps. She was right, they were all a bit odd; even Erwin.

" Eren, do you think you could tell me what the Survey Corps told you?" Armin's voice startled him a bit and he visibly visibly jumped. Mikasa laughed at him and he glared back at her. "I still haven't been able to find anything useful about them. The furthest that I got was that they're a gang that is very much like the Military Police not only in their criminal activities, but in some of their methods as well. You would think there would be more information on them beyond police records of fairly normal gang activities but... the best I could do was that there were four people killed in an apartment in a well-off neighborhood in the northern part of the city. It's notable because the Titans were never implicated and the four of them were brutally murdered... and tortured beforehand."

Armin's voice took on a sarcastic tone. "T he autopsies were 'inconclusive' but nobody would have the sorts of injuries that they did if the 'presumed cause of death' was a broken neck ."

A hush fell over the room. Both Mikasa and Eren stared at each other; Mikasa's face twisted up in disgust and Eren felt like he might actually be sick.

"Marco did a really good job with your emotional and language cortexes, didn't he? I never thought I'd hear an AI being sarcastic." It was a weak joke, but it broke some of the tension and Eren appreciated Mikasa's attempt to lighten the mood, but his mind had already taken a pensive turn.

_That was probably Smiles' work, wasn't it? If the Survey Corps had been following them so closely of course they would know about it. And if they knew about it... Levi accidentally killing Smiles... there's no real remorse in killing a monster dressed as a human , is there? Not when they torture and kill four people like that and get away with it._

_This is why superheroes exist isn't it? the law doesn't always protect those who need protecting. That's why Mikasa risks her life every night. That's why all of them do. I've always known this, but to be faced with Smiles; to know that there are other Titans that are probably just like her... how much restraint could you possibly exercise knowing that?_

It kept turning it over in his head, something stuck at the back of his mind as he scooped out two bowls of Cherry Garcia.


	17. Among Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this on my phone so uh yeah. It's not quite as fluffy as I intended, but I think it's kinda cute that they've all bonded over the crazy in their lives (much like the canon 104th) and they keep moving forward in spite of their losses because they're all there for each other.
> 
> Basically it's flangst.  
> Deal with it.

 Over the past few years,  Eren had come to realize that when it came to dealing with the pressures of having a superhero for a sister was to hang out with people who  _ weren't _ superheroes.

 

Even if that meant seeing  Horseface .

Everybody loved Marco and unfortunately that meant having to be friends with (or civil to, in  Eren's case) Jean. They were both townies who ended up going to  Trost University and had been friends since they were kids. They were practically inseparable and  Eren couldn't make heads or tails of why Freckled Jesus would continue to be friends with  Horseface when there were far nicer people to be friends with; especially now that they were in college.

The funny thing about  Eren's life was that even when he was hanging out with people who weren't superheroes, almost all of his group of friends had some sort of relation to superheroes. He supposed it was a comfort thing; they knew what it was like to worry about your friend or sibling or significant other being out at night and facing injury or worse ; all in the name of justice and  duty to the public. 

Eren looked around at the people gathered in Connie's apartment and realized that the group had shrunk over the years. Part of it _did_ have to do with the fact that their superhero friends had made themselves scarce.  Mikasa was home sleeping;  Ymir and Krista were out on patrol, taking over  Mikasa's areas while she was out of commission; Sasha was out of town for the next few days tracking down a jewel thief's fence.  But the absences that  Eren felt tonight were those of Mina and Thomas. They never really found out what happened other than that Thomas had gone missing and Mina went looking for him and never came back. It had happened  a t the end of their first year at  Trost. Time had dulled the sense of loss, but for  Eren it was a cautionary tale and he always worried about  Mikasa when she charged off to rescue him from yet another kidnapping.

_ Mina was a psychic and even _ her _ judgment was clouded when it came to her no rmal boyfriend. _

"Hey, Jaeger! Stop looking like someone shot your puppy and get your ass over here. We're ordering pizza. I don't know that I'm hungry anymore after looking at your face though."

"Fuck off,  Horseface . I don't know how anyone here is going to be  able to eat looking at yours."

Jean flipped him off and  Eren followed him into the kitchen where everyone else over by the table arguing about toppings.

" We need extra sausage."

"Wow, Connie. You've been spending a lot of time with Sasha, haven't you?"

"We don't need extra sausage.  Tonight's already a total sausagefest with all the ladies out hunting  b ad guys tonight. .."

"Jean!"

"...except  Mikasa . Though we all know whose fault that is."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP  HORSEFACE ."

Everyone was staring at  Eren . It was common knowledge that he had something of a short fuse, but he hadn't blown up like this in a while. Staring at fish for hours at a time for three years seemed to have mellowed him out ; it was scientifically proven method. Well,  that and growing up and learning some self-control. Regardless of how well he had learned to control his anger now, this was something that he had come here tonight to avoid thinking about.

"I'm sorry man, I wasn't thinking."

Eren took some deep breaths and counted to ten.

_ Jean didn't mean it. We always say shit like this to each other and he just didn't think because he's Jean. It's okay. You're going to figure this out tomorrow and everything is going to be okay. _

Marco put a hand on his arm and smiled reassuringly at him. It was okay and he was with friends. Friends who legitimately understood his life. On any other  night Jean's comment would have annoyed him rather than caused him to blow up. He was determined to take his mind off of this whole mess tonight. 

______

"...and what about the time with  Shadis ? I still can't believe Sasha did that!"

"Man, our first year was weird wasn't it? I still can't believe that Krista was able to keep it under wraps so long. Especially with  Ymir around."

"Are you talking about her and Ymir or her being  Historia ?" Eren kept his expression flat for a moment and then immediately dissolved into laughter with the other three.

This was why he hung out with them. They could joke about the strange normality of their lives without worrying about having to couch their language or be ready to backpedal and cover for themselves . He felt most normal in a world that was as far from normal as you could get. Super strength, telekinesis, shape shifting,  pyrokinesis , human flight... In their world, this was normal. In their world, college kids created AI programs that befriended their owners and had dreams. In their world you learned to make the worst excuses sound believable. In their world they stood by in the wee hours of the morning with gauze and disinfectant. In their world you got used to being kidnapped. In their world you were ready for anything.

In their world they weren't alone.

They had each other.   


_Even if one of them is Horseface.  
_


	18. Exhaustion and Injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a chapter that was essentially Eren Says Stupid Shit and Levi Gets Really Offended for Good Reasons and Eren Realizes He Fucked Up Badly. 
> 
> Then I deleted most of it because I didn't like the conversation between Levi and Eren since I felt they were both a bit too OOC, even for an AU fic. A very tiny bit of their conversation is still here.
> 
> So have some awkward-ish Eren and Levi and mostly fluffy siblings instead.

It was well after midnight when Eren began to stumble home, exhaustion putting a heavy weight on his body that forced him to shuffle and hope that his depth perception was functioning somewhere close to normal. He wasn't drunk; years ago, when he first started getting kidnapped on a regular basis Mikasa had insisted that he not return home if he had been drinking unless she or another superhero was with him. He had felt like a child then and tried to fight her on it, but her concerns were proven to be valid when he went party-hopping with Connie, Marco and Jean. Forget about having to deal with cops when it came to underage drinking, he had ended up having to deal with Vesperia. In a choice between cops and someone who talked snakes into being the muscular restraints that held you to a pipe, he'd take getting thrown into the back of a squad car. Hell, he'd even take some light police brutality over dealing with Vesperia.

He was jerked out of his thoughts when he saw a shadow flutter on the roof two buildings ahead and he just _knew_ that they were there for him. Smiles and her two lackeys had gotten the jump on him because he got complacent. This person wouldn't.

_Whoever the fuck that is, if they come anywhere near me I will kick them in the knee as hard as fucking possible. Hell if I care that they'll never walk properly again, I am so sick of this bullshit. Just leave me alone asshole._

He straightened up and tried to will his sleepy limbs to move faster. He wasn't stupid enough to try and get on the roof to deal with them. If they wanted to follow him up top he wasn't going to take the initiative, but the moment they hit the pavement he wasn't going to hold back. To take away their ability to get the (literal) drop on him Eren crossed to the other side of the street where the sidewalk ran along a park. If they wanted to get near him then he was going to see them coming. He discreetly looked over to the other side of the street to check if the shadow was still there and saw nothing.

And that's when he heard the tiniest of noises right behind him.

Eren pivoted to use his right foot to sweep his follower's feet out from under them and while simultaneously drawing up his arms upwards, ready to deliver a blow or protect himself from one if necessary.

Instead, he ended up on his back, staring up at the silhouette of his unknown attacker.

  
  


“If that's what you call walking quickly then you'd be in trouble right now.” He knew that voice and his stomach lurched, then flopped, then boiled up with anger as he picked himself up off of the ground. “You get points for crossing the street but clearly you weren't paying enough attention or I wouldn't have been able to get so close behind you. Your hand-to-hand skills aren't bad though.”

“What the _fuck_ L –” A hand was immediately clamped across his mouth and given a glare that made him want to curl up and die.

“No, I think I get to ask _you_ what the fuck you thought you were going to say there.”

Eren mumbled an apology and nearly fell over when Levi grabbed his arm and started pulling him along in the direction of his apartment.

“And before you ask, no I'm not here of my own accord. Commander thought you could do with a _benevolent_ shadow since your sister shouldn't be moving out and you're kind of important right now.”

“I was just fine you know. And you could have just come up to me and told me you were under orders to babysit me four blocks ago when I left Connie's.”

“I needed to keep my distance for a bit.”

“Why? So you could sneak up behind me and tell me I'm shit at looking out for myself?”

“No, because the person on the roof wasn't me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They walked on in awkward silence, questions flying through Eren's brain and catching just before they reached his tongue. Levi stopped walking when they were a few yards away from the apartment building's front door. Eren stopped as well and shifted uneasily on his feet, staring at the other man.

_Am I supposed to say good night? He's just sort of staring at me, but I guess I'm staring at him too so there's that. Do I apologize for being a bit of an ass earlier? Or is it just expected that I'm going to make stupid accusations? He didn't seem really upset about it. But then again he doesn't seem to let people in and let them know what he's thinking. We've been standing here just a little too long, okay this is really awkward now._

_What if I kissed him right now?_

“Jaeger, you could at least thank someone for saving your ass you know.”

_...or he was waiting for that._

“Sorry, um... I'm really tired. So yeah, thanks.”

“Hn. Night, brat.”

“Yeah.”

It felt like Levi barely moved before he disappeared from Eren's sight. He sighed and pulled out his keys. Regardless of whether or not Levi had been ordered to shadow him tonight, he didn't have to show himself. He could have easily taken care of the person on the roof and Eren wouldn't have even known that he was there but instead he chose to let Eren know that he was there and walk with him the rest of the way home.

_So I guess he doesn't hate me then. He also chose to scare off whoever it was on the roof by showing himself rather than taking them on personally, but he seemed like he was totally okay with maybe taking out the one guy from the Titans in the apartment. I just wish I knew what his deal was._

_Following the Survey Corps in the paper and looking up to all of them... crushing on him so hard for the past year... he really isn't who I thought he would be, what I thought he would be._

In spite of being exhausted, it took Eren another hour to fall asleep after he got into bed. He was dreading his early class in the morning.

______

Eren woke up before his alarm to the sound of the local news channel coming from the living room. As he walked in he saw his sister sitting on the couch, knees pulled to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her chin rested on the tops of her knees as best as she could with the neck brace and she was wearing a solemn expression. She didn't react to him entering the room immediately.

“There was an fight in front of a bar two blocks away from us. One of the men has multiple stab wounds and is in the hospital in critical condition. They don't think he's going to make it. His attacker has three prior arrests for assault on his record.” Her voice was dead as she continued to stare at the screen.

“And what could you have done if you were there? Yelled at him to stop? You can't fight with the injuries that you have. You would only make them worse and then you'd be out for even longer.” Eren tried to keep calm, but he had given this talk to Mikasa every single time she was injured and unable to protect the area she patroled for the past four years. “Turn off the news and stop torturing yourself. Krista and Ymir are taking over your patrol.”

“And a lot of good they did last night.”

Eren was at a loss for words at Mikasa's statement. He'd never heard her say anything negative about their friends. She might poke fun at Sasha's appetite or get frustrated with Krista's apathy or Ymir's selfishness, but she had never said anything like that before. She had never said anything intimating that her fellow superheroes were unable to do their jobs properly.

“Mikasa...?”

“I'm sorry, Eren. I didn't really mean that. I can't stop every crime in my patrol area myself and even with the two of them they won't be able to cover everything. My area is already bigger than the one the two of them handle. It's just so frustrating because I've never been off the streets for as long as I'm going to have to be this time. I've only been off the streets for two nights and I'm already going crazy."

“I don't really know what to say... I'm just me. I can't help patrol or anything.”

She turned her full body to face him now, mindful of her neck. She looked like she was about to say something reassuring to him; that he was who he was and she loved him anyway. Instead...

“What the fuck happened to your face!?”

“Huh?”

“You have a bad bruise on you forehead above your right eyebrow and... is that a gash? Are those butterfly closures on your face? It's that deep? Eren, _tell me what happened._ Did you get in a fight with Jean last night? I swear to fucking god Eren, I thought the two of you were done with all of that bullshit.”

Eren raised two fingers to his head and pushed gently against the skin; it was definitely inflamed and bruised, he would look at it in the mirror after he showered.

“Actually this happened before I went over to Connie's.”

“When? How the hell didn't I notice that?”

“We were kind of caught up in talking about the Titans and you were tired. It happened when I was with the Survey Corps yesterday. Dr. Scientist accidentally opened a door into me when I was dropping their clothes off.”

“They did _what_?”

“I was standing really close to the door and I wasn't paying attention and then... and then there was a door in my face. It wasn't their fault, you don't need to go hunt them down. They patched me up just fine, disinfected it and everything.” _Well, they did after Levi made them. And it was cheap vodka and not rubbing alcohol, but Mikasa doesn't need to know that._

“I'm going to redo them after you shower.”

“Mikasaaaa... I think I'm capable of putting band aids on my face.”

“Let me feel like I'm doing something useful?”

“Fine, _mom_.”

“Thank you. I made a pot of coffee. You're running late so go take a shower and I'll fill up a travel mug for you.”

“Thank you so much Mikasa.”

“Eren, I can't leave this apartment for the next six days. I'll do anything to keep myself busy.”

“Does that mean you'll clean the bathroom this week?”

“The chore chart still counts even if I am stuck at home.”

“You said you'd do anything!”

“Fuck off, Eren!”

“Love you too!”

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's totally intentional that Mikasa only noticed the cut now and has nothing to do with me forgetting about it in chapter sixteen. Totally not me. Nuh-uh.
> 
> (Though in some fairness the two of them would have been hella distracted about everything with the Titans and a lot of cuts don't develop obvious bruising immediately.)


	19. To Friends, Old and New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got two chapters out in one day (at least in my time zone) and that's pretty nifty. I had some issues with this one as well and cut an entire 400 words from the end because I realized that I was forcing plot development rather than letting it happen organically. So yeah, it's been one of *those days* with writing and I'm not editing this.
> 
> Dudes, if you want to talk to me about whatever (fic-related or not) come check me out on the tumble-wumbles. I'm mybrainproblems there as well and I like meeting new people! I will absolutely respond to you unless you are a total dick. I also have an email address (shock and awe!) but you'll have to ping me via Tumblr first 'cause I'm not posting that shit here.
> 
> Anyway. Crash time and holy crap it's the first time I've been in bed before 1am in over a week (it's 11pm) what is this madness? (Is it Sparta?)

“I'm sorry about last night. Jean shouldn't have said that...”

“It's fine. I lost it for a second but then I remembered that it was Horseface and he never thinks about what he's saying.”

“ _Eren_ , can't the two of you try to be friends?”

“ _Marco_ ,” Eren mimicked his exasperated tone. “He's an ass. How are the two of you still friends?”

“We've known each other since we were kids.”

“So you're only still friends with him because you've known him since before the two of you could read?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You implied it.”

“Yes, he's been one of my closest friends for as long as I can remember, but I'm not still friends with him out of misplaced loyalty.”

“No, you've stayed friends because you have Stockholm Syndrome.”

The both of them burst out laughing. Marco considered Jean to be his best friend, but it didn't mean that he couldn't laugh about their odd couple friendship. Marco was double majoring in computer science and psychology. He wanted to create AI programs that could not only mimic human emotions, but comprehend them as well. His dream was to create a program that could assist the elderly, the mentally impaired, and the homebound. Armin was merely a prototype and he had been happy to create him and continued to help him grow as his own skills improved.

On the other hand, Jean was majoring in business because he wanted to have a secure future and a comfortable life when he graduated. If there was one thing that Eren had to admire about Jean it was that he was an uncomplicated person. What you saw was what you got.

______

The both of them parted ways as Eren headed to the stickleback lab and Marco went back to his apartment for dinner. There were still people in the lab building when Eren entered, but half of them were on their way out. It was really only the lab assistants who were left in the building now. Most of them knew each other's names and would say hello as they walked by, but nobody really hung out together when they had to make sure that everything was running smoothly. He figured that he had what was technically the easiest job. He watched fish; fed them, counted them, measured them, recorded their environmental data. It was boring work, but Eren loved it in a way. He certainly wasn't in love with the sticklebacks, but he was in love with marine biology.

Proof that Marco was brilliant was the fact that Eren had spoken about the ocean so much with Armin that his dream was for them to explore the deep ocean together. Him and his trusty AI sidekick, exploring the unknown wonders at the furthest depths of the sea. Yes, it would just be him and a voice in his ear, but it would still be brilliant. He knew it would be.

Eren stared at the fish swimming in their tanks and let the stress of the past few days flow out.

Nothing was more relaxing than this.

______

Eren watched the clock on the wall tick closer and closer to eight o'clock. He realized that he had no way of knowing when someone from the Survey Corps showed up. He still didn't have a single way of contacting them other than knocking on the door of their headquarters. Levi had simply popped up out of the blue yesterday and if they were going to be trailing him on a regular basis then he definitely wanted a way of contacting them that wasn't “get kidnapped for the n th  time.”

 _I'll ask for a phone number or_ something _when I get picked up, hopefully they're picking me up in the car because I don't have any clue what to look for otherwise. I guess I'll go wait by the doors and hope I see them and don't have to actually go outside until I need to. Not really in the mood for a repeat of two nights ago..._

He was sitting on a bench in the lobby of the building looking out at the street and waiting for some sort of vehicle to come into view. He looked down at his watch; it was now ten after.

_Come on guys, I really don't need to start freaking out about this shit right now. Just show up and tell me that the traffic on Main was awful and you had to take River instead. Please. I don't need this._

Now it was quarter after eight and Eren felt like he was going to throw up.

_I told them that it was the biology lab building, I know I did. I know that Levi made the smartass comment about Google Maps. I know that they are all experienced crime-fighters. I also know that sketchy people are following me around and Erwin is having Levi to keep tabs on me._

_I'm just going to step outside and maybe they parked on the side and they don't have my phone number and this is all a big misunderstanding._

Eren stepped out the front doors into the brisk evening air. He couldn't see anything that would indicate the presence of another human being, but he could almost feel someone watching him and now he really thought he was going to throw up.

He turned around and headed back for the building.

_Levi, I dare you to tell me I'm walking slowly right now._

Not only was it (presumably) safer inside, there was also a toilet he could throw up in.

  


“Eren! Eren, wait up!”

“H- Hanji!?”

He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. They walked towards him, waving and smiling and then it hit him; they weren't in uniform. This was _Hanji_ and not Dr. Scientist. They didn't look all that different except that the goggles had been replaced with glasses and they had swapped out the white lab coat for a brown jacket.

“Come on, I was waiting for you in the parking lot. I was getting worried.”

Eren followed them, taking deep breaths to calm his stomach. The car from the night before was sitting in the parking lot and Hanji was holding the door open for him and looking concerned. As soon as he was seated Eren exhaled loudly and brought his hands to his face; he could see they were shaking slightly. Hanji sat started up the car and began to pull out of the parking lot.

“I'm sorry I worried you, I didn't mean to. I just thought you would be pulling up on the street in front of the building.”

“Don't worry about it. I should've told you where to meet me.”

“If this is going to be a regular thing, can I get your phone number or some way to contact you? I had no idea what the hell was going on when I didn't see you earlier and I didn't want to go outside in case there was a repeat of the night before.”

“I'm going to bet that none of the Titans know that Smiles' death was unintentional so that should put you in the clear for a bit.”

“Someone was following me last night.”

“Haha, yeah... about that. Erwin asked Levi to –”

“No, I ran into Levi. There was someone else following me and he scared them off. Scared the crap out of me as well, but there was someone else there.” Eren was looking directly at Hanji now as they drove along in the dark. “You know there was someone else there, don't you?”

They glanced away from the road and at him briefly before answering.

“Yes, but we aren't going to talk about it now.”

“So then when?”

“It's on the to-do list for tonight. Trust me, okay?”

 


	20. Shadows in the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I BET YOU WERE EXPECTING SOME ANSWERS IN THIS CHAPTER WEREN'T YOU.
> 
> I'm sick, it's my birthday and I hate my birthday for a variety of reasons... so yeah. I was going to write the "heyo, Erwin got answers" chapter but then I decided that I felt like shit so I'm gonna torture you guys a little. Enjoy some Levi POV.
> 
> (And if you didn't notice the tag addition: I'm officially calling this a slow build because they aren't gonna get it on for a decent bit longer. At a guess, probs another 10k+ words. I promise some sweet porntastic pay-off though.)

It was a sort of resentment.

A lot of his evenings consisted of sitting still and lurking on rooftops, but this was different. The action may be the same, but the reasons for it this time aren't ones that he likes. He's used to watching drug dealers and mob bosses from the shadows, waiting for their lackeys to turn a blind eye so that he could take advantage and take care of business.

This was different.

This was a passive act.

This was watching and waiting to see if something _might_ happen and then responding accordingly. So he was sitting here watching the kid eat pizza with his friends. There was another kid who he clearly didn't get along with; he screamed at him at one point. He wasn't particularly close ( _always put some distance between you and your target, don't let them know they're being watched_ ) but he could still hear the kid yell. Couldn't tell you what he said, but the volume and tone indicated anger.

_Thanks Erwin, I'm freezing my balls off so that I can watch the dumb brat eat pizza and yell at people._

______

“ _I need you to shadow Eren.”_

“ _So is this some sort of fucked up punishment for what happened with Smiles?”_

“ _No, you're just better equipped to shadow him than the rest of us.”_

“ _Worried the brat is going to get kidnapped between now and tomorrow night?”_

“ _Or worse.”_

“ _They seemed like they wanted to keep him alive last time.”_

_Erwin fixed his eyes on Levi and frowned._

  


“ _You know that there are worse things.”_

______

Levi shifted again so that his legs didn't fall asleep while he was waiting. He had shifted countless times and changed his vantage point three times already as Eren and his friends moved through the apartment. He had been happy to find his current location a little over an hour ago as it afforded him a view of almost the entire apartment without requiring him to move. The four boys (he couldn't think of them as men) had stopped moving between rooms once the pizza had arrived.

_I've been watching this fucking apartment for almost four god damn hours now and I've watched the brat eat an entire disgusting pizza and play some video game for the past two hours. Erwin, you fucking owe me for this. I swear to fucking christ, if anyone shows up tonight I am not going to hold back. I can't decide if I want a stiff drink or to punch something right now._

He waited in the same position for another thirty minutes before he watched Eren grab his coat and head for the door.

_Fucking finally._

  


He dropped down off the roof to follow Eren at a closer distance. If anybody approached Eren on the ground, he was useless on the roof; if anybody approached him from the roof, well... nobody had gotten the drop on him yet. He debated simply walking with the kid, but he had no desire to walk a kid home while in uniform. It seemed undignified to and somehow _wrong_ to him to come out of the shadows and walk along the street next to someone. It was bad enough that he was on the ground.

 _Stay away from the ground; somewhere up high where you_ _can see everything._ _Have multiple exit routes and escape plans. Don't just have a Plan A and a Plan B; have an alphabet of plans._

Levi was sticking to the opposite side of the street from Eren where he could conceal himself in the shadows cast by the trees in the park. He saw the flick of movement on top of a building a few back from the one that Eren was currently walking in front of. He watched it and identified it as being a human figure in loose clothing, a hoodie or hat was pulled over their head. He couldn't tell if they were wearing a mask. Watching them move a bit closer, Levi weighed how fast he could get up to the roof top to deal with them. Probably quickly enough that they wouldn't notice someone else was there. He was always shocked how inattentive people were since the grapple gear that Hanji had designed was hardly silent. To Levi it seemed very loud when he was trying to be stealthy, but of course the sensitivity of his hearing went beyond that of others.

As he was weighing his options he kept his eyes on Eren and realized that he must have noticed that he had a follower as well since he seemed to be speeding up his pace. _If you can call that walking quickly._ Levi was a little surprised when Eren crossed to the other side of the street even though the lighting on this side of the street wasn't quite as bright. _Okay, I've gotta give him some credit. He has decent instincts about putting space_ _for observation_ _between himself and a potential threat._

The shadow on the roof had disappeared while he had been keeping an eye on Eren crossing the street. A figure in the alleyway across the street caught his eye. _Male,_ _roughly_ _five foot eight, medium frame, muscular, probably around 160lbs... visible knife, no gun._ Again, Levi contemplated simply going over and dealing with the man himself, but the events of the past few days and the memories they had dredged up kept him on the other side of the street.

There _was_ another option.

The obvious appearance of a member of the Survey Corps would either spook off an inexperienced shadow or draw out an experienced one looking for a challenge. Given the man's stance (or lack thereof) Levi assumed he fell into the former group rather than the latter.

So he walked up behind Eren. He didn't go through any great lengths to hide his presence, but he didn't intentionally reveal himself either. He was curious as to how much Eren relied on his superpowered sister. He scuffed the ground lightly and the kid pivoted, ready to sweep his leg out from under him and land a hit if he needed. It didn't work on him (he had the kid flat on his back with a quick counter of his own) but it might have worked on the shadow in the alley.

Levi looked down at him. Eren's face was completely blank in shock. The completely disarmed expression reminded Levi that he was still young, too young to be dealing with whatever he had stumbled into the other night. He pushed that back though; it didn't matter when he was already right in the middle of it. It would be a disservice to treat him as a child and give him a gold star for trying when he needed a kick in the ass to motivate him to do better. He never bothered with tact before and he wouldn't now.

“If that's what you call walking quickly then you'd be in trouble right now.”

For a moment he thought the kid was going to break with all the emotions that went across his face.

And then he came back at him like a small hurricane of pent-up frustration.

Good boy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and by the way the "grapple gear" is essentially the 3DMG with some tweaks because no blades. One of these days I will attempt to art all of their costumes / uniforms.


	21. The Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate the shit out of this chapter and I'm pretty sure that it shows.
> 
> Sorry it's such crap. I had to force the plot forward and it didn't happen as organically as I would have liked. I hate writing expository conversations like this. Plus I'm still sick so I'm not at the top of my game.
> 
> (And yeah I'm going with the "Grisha is an awful parent" trope.)

Even the short distance down the dark alley that led to the Survey Corps headquarters felt menacing now knowing that someone had been following him. Eren was fairly certain now that someone had been watching him earlier when he was looking for Hanji. Every shadow and darkened corner felt menacing now, closing in around him and enveloping him. Somebody could be hiding around the corner or in the shadows cast by buildings or trash cans – and there was so little he could do against them. He didn't have any superpowers, he wasn't really trained in how to defend himself. Sure, he had picked up some tricks here and there, but he had never really _needed_ to defend himself. Mikasa had always been there for him when he charged into a fight blindly, he knew he was hopelessly outmatched when it came to supervillains; the best he could do was run.

Eren trailed behind Hanji as they entered the headquarters and headed directly to the main area on the ground floor. Everyone else was seated around a table and Erwin was looking over some documents while Levi and Mike merely sat quietly, all of them clearly waiting for Hanji and Eren's arrival.

“Look who I brought with me!” Hanji's voice was painfully loud as it broke the silence. The three men looked up at them and Eren.

“Did you encounter any issues?” Erwin's brow wrinkled almost imperceptibly and he looked at the clock. “It's almost nine.”

“We didn't let Eren know where we would pick him up so we both ended up waiting for one another in the wrong place.” Hanji's hand went to the back of their head as they laughed a bit nervously. “I didn't want to mention it before – sorry, Eren – but there was definitely someone else there.”

“I felt like someone was watching me, that's why I was heading back inside when you called out to me.” The four of them had their eyes on him.

“Did you see anyone?” Erwin's brow wrinkled further and his jaw clenched.

“No, but I could feel it.”

“Well that's not very helpful, is it?”

“ _Levi..._ ”

“If it's the same person that I saw then they aren't very good at their job. They had a piss poor stance and the moment I showed up they left. Our assumption is that they were Military Police.”

“Why would the Military Police be after me?”

“It's highly like that it is for the same reason that the Titans are.”

“ _Well what the hell is that reason?_ ”

Eren's outburst  prompted them to all look at him with interest . His patience had worn thin over the past few days; Mikasa had been injured, he had been kidnapped  by the Titans for unknown reasons, he was being followed by someone from the Military Police. None of it was adding up and he wanted answers. The Titans had made the fact that they were interested in him very clear, that another group was interested him as well for reasons unknown to him was just the cherry on top of the mess he had stumbled into.

Erwin cleared his throat.

“We aren't completely certain. We believe that it has something to do with your father though.”

“I haven't seen him in years. How could I be even remotely useful to them? It's not like I know where he is.” _Even if I did, I don't give a shit. I'd probably tell them. Who cares?_

“He disappeared a number of years ago, didn't he?”

“Eight. Nine in a three months.”

The muscles in Eren's jaw tightened as he spat it out. He didn't like to think about it. Almost nine years ago now; he had been twelve years old. They had only had his mother with them for a year and a half longer, but  death tended to be a good reason for not being with your children anymore . As far as Eren and Mikasa knew, Grisha Jaeger was still alive and  he didn't intend on coming home any time soon. He had spent years upset and missing his father, hoping that he would walk through the front door again.

Eren gave up on that dream when he was sixteen.

  
  


Silence had settled awkwardly over their group as Eren made an effort to control himself. Everything was bubbling up so close to the surface now and keeping everything down was becoming more and more difficult for him.

Mike grunted and spoke.  “Maybe we should go back to talking about what's going on right now.”

“Hmm. Yes.” Erwin began speaking again. “I had hoped to have more information by now, but there isn't a great deal of information on the Titans to be found regardless of how closely we've be following them. Even the Military Police haven't let any useful information slip out. We're feeling around largely in the dark still. We know that the Military Police are looking to have some political control in the city and are more than willing to use violence to achieve that. Honestly, the most useful information that we've been able to dig up is that the Military Police are _also_ interested in you and that's only because one of them was following you. I wish that we had more to go off of, but  it's clear that people know that we're looking into it and they don't want us getting close... one of our contacts turned up in the river last night.”

Eren was quiet a moment. He felt a chill go up his spine and felt like he was going to throw up.

“So we don't know _anything_?”

“Not much. Not yet.”

“So why am I here right now?” He was staring incredulously at Erwin.

“Because I wanted to be able to speak with you in person.”

“I just don't get it. What am I supposed to _do_ now? I don't know much more now than when I walked through the door other than that my dad might be mixed up in this.” Eren's temper was bubbling very close to the surface now and he was putting all of his effort into not letting it take hold of him.

“I want you to consider anything that you might remember about your father. He seems to be one of the key pieces in this puzzle.”

_Can I send you the therapy bill for that? Because that's what I'm going to need if I have to spend the next week trying to remember shit about him. I've been just fine_ not _thinking about him for years now, I don't need to dredge all of that up again._

A pause that went on a beat too long.

“Eren?”

“Yeah. Fine. I'll try to think about it.”

“Thank you, Eren. In the mean time, we're going to be rotating shadowing you in order to ensure your and your sister's safety.”

_Oh good, I get to make an ass of myself in front of Levi some more._

“I really wish that we could have been able to tell you more, but we're at a loss ourselves.”

“I understand.”

_No, I don't understand shit._

_What the fuck is going on?_

_Why is this happening?_

_Why me and why now?_


	22. Caring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was way easier to write than the last chapter. Instead of agonizing over it for a full day I pretty much just ate breakfast, caught up on Tumblr and then wrote and edited this in about two hours. It's not even noon here.
> 
> You might even get another chapter today. ｡◕‿◕｡  
> (No promises though)
> 
> Oh and yes, Eren is less murder-angry in this because he is pretty hopelessly outmatched by people with superpowers and doesn''t have any way to compensate (like with the 3DMG)

“I understand.”

“I'm glad.” Erwin held his gaze on Eren for a moment longer before turning. “Hanji, I need to speak with you. Levi will take you home, Eren.”

_Fan-fucking-tastic. Just what I need to top off this shit show of an evening, a half hour in the car with Levi. Levi who knows that I got off to him. Levi who laid me flat on my ass the other night. Levi who insisted that Hanji clean my cut up properly. Levi who decided to reveal himself and scare off a potential threat than to take them down himself. Levi who walked me home. Levi who I really_ really  _want to kiss._

“Come on brat, let's get going.”

_Levi who thinks of me as a brat; a kid._

_And that hurts worse than him being an asshole._  
  


Eren trailed behind Levi, somewhat dejected. He felt a bit safer walking down the alley this time, but he couldn't tell if it was because he felt so drained and frustrated from talking with Erwin or if he just felt safer with Levi. It was a short walk, but it felt longer this time. Eren was starting to feel sick again. He knew that he wasn't going to throw up, it was a different kind of sickness. It wasn't nausea, it was a slight twinge in his chest.

“Are you feeling alright?” Levi's tone was neutral bordering on gentle.

“I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be with everything else?” His tone was harsh and clipped; he had wanted answers and now he just had more questions.

“Good, because you looked like you were going to throw up there and I am not dealing with your fucking puke in our car.” 

Any gentleness in his tone was gone. He yanked the car door open and sat at the wheel. Eren stared blankly at the passenger door, his hand resting on the handle and making no move to open it. He stood frozen.  _He was asking because he actually cared... and I threw it back at him._

“Get in the car, brat. I have better things to be doing tonight.”

Now he really felt like he was going to be sick.

______

The car ride was mostly silent. Neither of them talked and Eren didn't so much as try to glance at Levi. He shouldn't have snapped at him, it wasn't his fault that everything was the way that it was. The man had saved him from yet another kidnapping and barring his harsh words,  Levi had never been  intentionally unkind to Eren. Unless you called laying him out flat the night before – and Eren couldn't help but think that he wasn't doing it to be  an ass , it was just his own way of pointing out that he needed to be better prepared in case of an attack.  He realized that lot of Levi being rude seemed to have to do with a combination of bluntness and a lack of social grace.

“Do you know how to fight? Or was last night the extent of it?”

“Huh?” Out of all the ways to break the silence, that was one that he hadn't anticipated.

“Can you defend yourself if necessary? Or do you usually wait for your sister to save your scrawny ass?”

“I'm pretty alright I guess. I got into a lot of fights in high school, but Mikasa bailed me out of a lot of them. Another friend of mine from high school – Annie – taught me a fair bit. The leg sweep I was going for last night was something she used a lot.”

“So why don't you try to fight off your kidnappers?”

“I used to, but it's difficult to do anything against people with super strength or pretty much any power. After I ended up with a broken arm and a concussion and Mikasa _still_ had to come save my ass it just didn't seem like it was worth it.  If you don't fight, you can't win but...it's sort of hopeless when you're only human.”

_Well that was a way more honest and depressing answer than I wanted to give. He probably thinks I'm just a weak idiot now._

“Like, I know that I can take someone who's just human and do pretty well for myself, but it tends not to be just one person who gets sent after me. If they want Mikasa's attention, they want me. If they want me, they send more than one person to make sure that they _do_ get me.”

Eren was staring at his hands and fiddling with the cuticle on his left thumb. He could feel Levi's eyes on him as they sat at a stop sign for a bit too long. He shifted, slightly uncomfortable and Levi continued to drive.

“I'll teach you.”

Eren's head shot up and he stared at Levi; his lips parted slightly in shock.

“It'll make my job easier if you can defend yourself. And who knows, maybe you'll grow a pair and stop with the self-pity.”

Somehow he found his voice.

“You actually care, don't you?” 

He was grinning and on the verge of laughing. Levi on the other hand kept his neutral mask in place as he spoke again.

“Or maybe I just don't want to be on the receiving end your sister's or Erwin's wrath for letting you get killed by your own inability to protect yourself. Erwin seems to think you're important for some reason.”

“Hmph. Fine.”

The silence the rest of the way back was more comfortable than it had been earlier.

His stomach felt like it had dropped again, but not in a bad way.

_Bullshit, Levi. You do care._


	23. I Care Enough Not to Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some angsty and introspective Levi.
> 
> I'll probably continue to write counterpoint POVs for chapters that only have Eren and Levi in them just because those tend to have really different readings depending on whose head you're in. Hella different asI'm sure you've noticed...

It was clear that the kid didn't understand a thing that Erwin was asking of him besides trying to remember things about his father. But underneath that confusion there was also frustration and anger and Levi could see that plain as day. He wondered how well Erwin, Hanji and Mike could see it, or more specifically, how well they _understood_ it.  The anger that he saw ran deep. It wasn't just anger at Erwin for having him come out at night to find out nothing more than that his father might be somehow related to this mess. He could see it on his face; not only had his father walked out, his mother was gone as well – he'd had nobody but his sister for a while now. And jumbled up in all of that there was another type of anger: righteous.

Of course he would have a more personal sense of justice given his sister  's work , but this ran deeper. There was something in his past that he clearly didn't want to dredge up in all this and as much as he'd rather deny it, he was curious.

_ What happened, kid? _

 

It's not that he  _ minded _ driving the kid home per se. What he did mind was driving home a kid who had a fucking  _ crush _ on him. Other people might be flattered by the attention but it just made him uncomfortable. There was a reason that he had told the kid that he'd heard him in the shower.  He wanted him to back off and since  the kid h ad enough sense not to outright confess it, he hadn't had to go through the frustration of having to  politely tell him to fuck off because he didn't get involved with kids . He seemed like someone who would argue and wheedle  and just generally make a nuisance of himself. Of course, it had also been worth it to see the kid look absolutely petrified with mortification. He had thought that would be the end of it, but then the way that the kid had looked at him the night before... like a  high schooler waiting for a good night kiss. Levi had been glad to have something to snap him out of it with.

_ And it's not as though he shouldn't have thanked me anyway. Maybe he could've taken care of himself, maybe he couldn't have. It's  still common fucking courtesy. _

He'd also seen the way the kid's face had fallen every time he'd snapped back at him. He wasn't trying to be cruel, he just wanted to create some distance.  In another lifetime he would have taken the kid to bed and then kicked him out in the morning, refused to so much as acknowledge his presence. He wasn't that person anymore though, was trying not to be.

_ Don't give him the rope to hang himself on  thinking he has a chance. _

 

He knew that he was toeing the  line of distance and derision. He knew that he was disappointing the kid in a lot of ways. He was The Hawk, one of the members of the Survey Corps.  Unlike superheroes like Madame Mystery they policed their backyard in addition to the region. It would be hypocritical to headquarter themselves in such a corrupt and crime-ridden city like Trost and not fight there as well as the surrounding region.

But in addition to everything they did, there was  still the image  of the superhero that the public fiercely held onto; the martyr who defended and protected the weak, who was good and kind, who told children to eat their vegetables. Unlike the others, he so rarely stood in the daylight that it was easy to project expectations onto him. To imagine him as someone who he wasn't.

_ Never meet your heroes, kid. _

_ They'll only disappoint you. _

 

He knew that he had already disappointed Eren from the moment they met, or at least shaken the image of him that he held. Heroes don't threaten someone with a blade. Heroes don't kill, no matter what the crime. A hero bends down and offers you a hand to help you up, they don't make snide comments about your age or tell you to fuck off when you need a ride home (though he had relented on that one).

_ No, I suppose disappointment isn't the right word. He wanted to meet The Hawk and instead he got  someone named Levi.  The Hawk probably doesn't even exist for him anymore. _

 

He had almost expected the kid  to be checking him out the way that he had the last time that he'd given him a ride, but he was staring fairly intently at his lap and he could feel the tension in the car. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but he'd seen that anger and frustration when they left and remembered the night before  and now it was gone. The kid may not know a lot about what was going on around him – hell,  _ he _ didn't know much more – but that didn't mean that his ignorance kept him safe.

_ Just the opposite . _

 

“Do you know how to fight? Or was last night the extent of it?”

He expected him to come back with the same fire as the night before when he had taunted him about not being able to take care of himself in a fight. He hadn't expected the uncertainty and introspection of his answer.

“ If you don't fight, you can't win but... i t's sort of hopeless when you're only human.”

_ T hat's really what it comes down to doesn't it? An unequal playing field. You can only try so many times before you realize that there isn't much reason to try anymore, that the outcome is always the same. Not when someone comes to get you every time. You can't stand solidly on your own two feet if you've never learned how to get up to begin with. _

“I'll teach you.”

_ There's still a bit of a spark there. Let's see if we can fan it into a flame. _

_ You need to protect yourself for the people who care about you. You need to protect yourself if you want to survive this mess. You have so much more to lose. _

“You actually care don't you?”

 

_ No, not in the way that you want me to. _

_ Sorry. _


	24. Can I Have Your Number?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't write today because I spent most of the day being really messed up about the UCSB shooting. I ended up unfollowing a bunch of people on Tumblr because they were posting things that made me really uncomfortable which just kinda added to the overall messed-up-ness of my day. Plus I'm still sick.
> 
> Sorry for being a Debbie Downer.
> 
> So yeah, here's a chapter! This isn't fluff exactly, but it's certainly not angstrospective!Levi and I tried to keep it fairly light given the last chapter and everything today.

Eren had a moment of déjà vu as they pulled up to the curb in front of his apartment building. He'd been accompanied home by Levi every night since he had been kidnapped by the Titans. It was a weird realization. It was starting feel like an almost-routine. There was a slight smile that he couldn't seem to get off of his face as he sat there. This time the silence and his hesitation to leave didn't seem quite as awkward or unnatural. There was a reason that he was hanging back, an _actual_ reason and not a fake one to keep him in close proximity to Levi.

_But what the hell was it?_

“Well, that _is_ your building there, isn't it?”

“Yeah.”

_Why can't I remember?_

“Usually you get out of the car and go inside when you get home.”

“Can I get your number?” _Wait no. That came out wrong. Fuck, I'm dead._ “And also Hanji's! Because they said they'd give me theirs so we didn't end up waiting on two different sides of the building u m, and also Mike's and Erwin's numbers? I really don't know it's just that if you're going to be watching out for me then maybe we should have a way to communicate that doesn't involve me getting almost-kidnapped?” _Very smooth, Jaeger._

Levi was giving him a hard stare and he couldn't read anything from it. There wasn't really any emotion in it, just observation.

“I'm sorry never mind. It's a stupid idea, we'll figure something out.”

Eren was scrabbling for the door handle now. He could feel his face was on fire with embarrassment.

_I just meant that I wanted a way to contact them because Hanji said that they would give me their phone number and I forgot to ask for it while we were there. Fuck, I didn't mean for it to come out like I wanted his number because I like him. I mean, I do but –_

“Eren.” _Holy shit, I think that's the first time he's said my name._

Levi's hand extended towards him, palm up.

“I need your phone if I'm going to put your number in, don't I?”

“Right, yeah. One minute.”

Eren fumbled around, patting down his pockets for his phone. As he handed it over he had a minor heart attack; he couldn't remember if he still had an image of The Hawk set as his lock screen. Since Levi didn't make any remarks as he started entering his number, Eren took this as a sign that he had changed his lock screen image to something that wasn't The Hawk and hopefully wasn't anything too embarrassing either. Levi finished putting in his number and tossed his phone back. Eren nearly dropped it in surprise.

“I texted myself from your phone. I'll pass it along to Hanji and they can give you their number. You won't get Erwin's number, but you'll probably get Mike's at some point.”

“Thanks.”

_I have The Hawk's phone number._

“Hn. Get out, brat.”

 _I have_ Levi's _phone number._

Eren followed the car with his eyes as Levi drove off.

Then walked face first into the door.

______

“Eren's home!”

“Hi Mikasa! Hi Armin!”

“So. You were out late.”

“Yeahhh... Commander Handsome said that he wanted to talk tonight when he had more information. I think I mentioned that it was going to be tonight?”

“You've been seeing a lot of them, haven't you?” Mikasa's eyes narrowed as she watched him.

“It turns out that I'm actually involved in all of this. As in _me_ , Eren Jaeger. I'm apparently the person that the Titans want to capture... the Military Police as well, but they aren't as worried about them since they just had once person following me and according to Levi, he's pretty incompetent.”

“I'm sorry, but that the _hell_ is going on here?”

“Mikasa, just calm down for two seconds.” He held up his hands defensively and backed away from his sister's glare. “I'm going to go get a drink and then I'll tell you guys what's going on. Armin, I want you to listen but I don't think you should record this, okay?”

Eren took Mikasa's lack of protest as permission to take a moment to grab something from the kitchen and take a moment to think. He downed a glass of water quickly and then started up a pot of coffee. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long conversation.

_They both need to hear this, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about the whole situation. Pretty much anything personal is off-limits, actually anything involving Levi beyond “he's going to be shadowing me” is off-limits. Wait, should I even tell Mikasa that? I mean, she'll freak if she knows that people are watching us, but then again they're watching to keep me safe so... I don't even know how that's going to go over. And dad, Grisha; he's involved. At least she never really thought of him as 'dad' the way that she thought of mom._

He scuffed his foot on the floor repeatedly as he bit his lip, trying to figure out what needed to be said and how to word it. He hadn't been given too much information, but the more he turned it over the more he realized that knowing just the smallest bit was dangerous _because_ they didn't know enough.

The coffee machine clicked off.

_I guess this is going to be it._

 

Eren walked back into the living room with a large mug of coffee. Mikasa was sitting up and one of the tablets was propped up and had Armin's face displayed on it.

“Answers. Now.”

“Jeez, Mikasa. So you know that I was with the Survey Corps tonight? I mentioned that, didn't I?”

“Yes, you did.” She was still watching him skeptically.

“Okay well Hanji – um, Dr. Scientist came to pick me up from the bio lab building and we drove over to their headquarters.” _And someone was definitely watching me._ “I talked with Erwin and it was frustrating because they really don't have any solid leads beyond dad – _Grisha_ being somehow involved. He didn't say _how_ though, only that they think it might have to do with him. Commander Handsome wants me to try and think back and see what I can remember about him.

“Also apparently it's not just the Titans who are after me now, somehow the Military Police are involved in this. Commander Handsome said that they want me for the same reason that the Titans want me, but... I don't know if _they_ know why the Titans want me either. They might just want me because the Titans want me.”

 _Because that didn't sound confusing as fuck_ at all _. Yeah, I understand everything, Erwin. Don't bother explaining anything to me._

“So nobody really knows what's going on?” Mikasa was staring at him incredulously. “You haven't found out anything except that Grisha might be involved?”

“And that the Military Police are also following me, though I actually sort-of found that out last night.”

“What do you mean that you 'sort-of found out' last night.” _Of course she zeroes in on that._

“Well I was walking back from Connie's and there was someone following me.”

“ _Someone was following you?_ Eren, what the hell? If you were being followed you need to tell me. I could have at least walked the few blocks to meet you!”

“No, it was totally fine! Commander had Levi shadowing me so he showed up and the guy left and –” _and he walked me home and I really wanted to kiss him and I am_ so _not getting into that right now._ “– well, it all worked out so it's fine. I didn't mention it because nothing happened and it was late.”

_Nice save, Jaeger._

“So the Survey Corps has someone shadowing you? I can't say that I like that, but at least _someone_ is watching out for you while I can't. I wish it were someone who we already knew though...”

“Mikasa, they're the _Survey Corps_. Do you really not trust them?”

“Hmph. I don't know any of them... Which one is Levi again?”

_The one I'd really like to have fuck me over the table._

“...The Hawk.”

“ _He's_ the one they have shadowing you? T hey're all weirdos but really? _Him?_ ”

“I mean, he _is_ the one who has the best hearing and sight and who usually works at night anyway so it makes sense for him to be the one that they would have watching me at night.” _And I can think of some really effective ways for him to watch me._

“He's an asshole. Everybody hates bumping into him.”

“I mean yeah, he is kind of a jerk.” _Boy is he ever..._ “But he's good at what he does and he protected me last night and I think he's honestly an okay-if-asshole-ish guy.”

Eren and Mikasa started an impromptu and unspoken staring contest to decide who was correct in their assessment of Levi's personality.

They were jerked out of their staring contest by Armin's voice.

“Eren? Commander Handsome said that your dad might somehow be involved?”

“Yeah, he said _Grisha_ was probably related to this somehow.”

“I'm going to look into this more and see if there's any information that they might have overlooked.”

“Go for it. I'm pretty sure that they weren't telling me everything anyway. Commander clearly doesn't like to show all of his cards unless he has to.” _Well that came out more bitter than I wanted it to._ “...just make sure you do it carefully. I think that they're not telling me everything because they're trying to keep me safe, but I don't see how not knowing about _Grisha –_ ” he grit his teeth “– will keep me safe at all.”

“Alright, Eren. I'll make sure that I'm careful. I'll destroy full recordings of this conversation from my memory banks in a few moments.”

“Thanks, Armin.”

“Eren, I hope you know what you're doing. Or at least, what you _think_ you're doing.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

 


	25. Asshole McFuckface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had some fun with this and I'm mad hype for the next chapter BECAUSE SASHA AND YMIR AND KRISTA.
> 
> (fyi: this is 100% unedited, sorry if there are hella mistakes. I was busy today.)

If there was one thing that Eren disliked about being in his final year of college it was that four days out of the week his classes started before eleven o'clock in the morning. It could have been worse though; Horseface had early morning classes every day of the school week. Eren considered it to be the universe's way of punishing him for being such an ass.

His alarm had been going off for for a while now but he just couldn't find the energy to get up and walk across the room. He had thought it would be a good idea since it would force him out of bed to turn it off, but right now the urge to roll over and hopefully sleep through the obnoxious noise was overwhelming. Unfortunately he wasn't capable of sleeping through the racket that his alarm clock was making so he had to give up and walk over to turn it off. Grumbling about early mornings he grabbed his phone to check his email.

_I have a text from an unknown contact? What the heck? Would have my number?_

[Unknown:] Eren, it's Hanji! Add me to your contacts and don't get kidnapped on the way to class!

_Haha. Very funny. Wait. That means that I have Levi's number as well._

He scrolled through his contacts to see whether he had put himself under “The Hawk” or “Levi” in his contacts list... or neither. Eren went back up to the top of his contacts list and started scrolling down again and tried to figure out what name he might have entered his number under. He ended up finding it with his 'D' contacts.

[Don't fucking call unless you need to]

 _Fucking fantastic, Levi. Real mature. Like I was going to call you for no reason . Do you really need to be that much of an asshole? I get it, you've made it really fucking clear that you find me just above tolerable but... Argh! He was trying to be nice last night and offered self-defense lessons and just. Ugh. I don't_ get _him. What's his fucking_ deal _or whatever?_

He spent a little too much time glaring at his phone before realizing that he was going to be running late if he didn't start getting ready. He practically sprinted to the kitchen to get the coffee machine going before hopping into the shower. Showered and dressed he went back to the kitchen to fill up his travel mug. Before heading out he considered breakfast for a moment and but realized that they didn't have anything he could eat easily while walking and food wasn't allowed in the labs.

_One of these days I'll have a real breakfast during the week._

______

“Dude, you haven't really been around much. What's been up? You totally blew us off last night. We always get together and watch bad action movies on Monday nights.”

“Sorry. I've been busy.”

“With what? You've been so out of it, even the other night you kept going off somewhere in your head.”

“I've just had a lot of shit going on, Connie. Like, hero shit.”

“What!? And you haven't told us anything? Man, you've gotta tell me what's going on. Sasha got back a few hours ago and is napping, so I was thinking we should go out to China Buffet to celebrate. Mikasa should come with us too, I mean... I know she's still out on injury but going out for a few hours won't kill her, will it?”

“That's kind of the issue. She would probably love to come out to dinner with us, but I don't know that she's healed enough yet. I'll talk to Armin and if he says that she's good then I'll tell her we're going out to dinner.”

“And if she isn't?”

“I'll probably just stay in with her. I'd love to see Sasha, but...”

“She's your sister. Dude, I totally get it. Just don't fall off the face of the Earth, let us know what's up, yeah? We'll go out early so that Ymir and Historia can come with us as well. It's been ages since we've all gone out together.”

“Yeah, it really has. Let's do this! I'll bring Mikasa even if Armin isn't thrilled about it. She needs to get out and what the hell could happen at _China Buffet_ that would be bad? Eating too much? Too heavy of a plate? I think she'll be fine.”

“Okay, man. I'll text you when I know what time.”

“Later!”

Connie jogged off in the direction of his apartment and Eren walked off in the direction of the café just off-campus.

_Finally going to get some food. Seriously, I know that it's my last year but do the labs have to be so damn long? I thought I was going to pass out from hunger. This must be how Sasha feels all the time. How does she even eat that much? And how has China Buffet not banned her yet?_

 

He walked out of the shop with a drink and a pastry, heading towards one of the outdoor tables to soak up the sun before his next class. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

[Connie:] sasha just woke up she says food around five?

[Eren:] should work. i get out of class at 4 15. meet at your place?

[Connie:] yep

He continued to fiddle with his phone for a bit longer when he remembered that Levi was still in his phone as “Don't fucking call me unless you need to.”

_I should change it to something less stupid. Do I change it to “The Hawk”? Probably not since that kinda blows his cover a bit, but it seems weird to put him in my phone as “Levi” since that's his actual name or secret identity or whatever. Or at least I'm pretty sure it is since the rest of the Survey Corps call him that. Fuck, what do I change it to?_

 

Eren glared at the contact name, his eyebrows drawing closer and closer together as he tried to figure out what to change the name to when he was struck by the urge to be just as much of a jerk as Levi had been to him.

_I hope he needs to borrow my phone at some point or sees this somehow._

[Contact name changed: Asshole McFuckface]

 _I am_ so _done with being looked at like some stupid fanboy. If he really wants to be an ass to me then I'm throwing it right the fuck back at him. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and he is going to stop treating me like a little kid. I'm an adult and I can make my own stupid fucking decisions and I have fucking had it with your passive-aggressive attempts to get me to back off and leave you alone. You know that I like you so do me the fucking courtesy of turning me down rather than just being an ass to me and hoping I'll just disappear._

 _It's_ on _. You're going to teach me to fight and I'm going to win._

_Let the games begin, Levi._

 


	26. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's short. BUT MY BABY SASHA IS IN IT AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. The next one is going to be quite a bit longer; this is more of a bridge / set-up chapter for the next one. And you're not going to get it for a bit because... 
> 
> I'm heading out to Long Island and I'm leaving at ass o'clock in the morning tomorrow and won't be back until Friday afternoon. (This is all US East Coast Time if you care about that shit)
> 
> So yeah, I'm going to be gone for a bit and I won't be able to post things because even though I'll be on the LIRR for three hours they don't have wireless and I hate hate hate writing longer things on my phone unless I really have to. Plus I'm going there to chill out with a friend and be social and shit. I still love you bunches, but this brain problem needs some personal time.
> 
> Shameless self-plug: I'm 16 people away from having 100 followers on Tumblr and I've promised to do a series of Q&A videos with my face when I get there. So you should get on that shit. Don't feel obligated though, I post an odd mix of stuff and it isn't everyone's cup of tea.

“How have they not banned you yet?”

“You know what? I really don't know. I guess it's because I'm such a good customer!”

“Sasha, you eat so much more than twenty dollars of food whenever you're here. I'm not sure that qualifies as being a 'good customer' since they lose money every time you come here.”

“Yeah, but you guys always come with me and there's no way you're eating your fill. I can't believe that we live together, Connie. You don't appreciate food enough.”

“Dude, I appreciate food just fine!”

 

Eren watched the two of them argue good naturedly over the need to appreciate food. If there was anyone who could appreciate food it was Sasha. He could still remember the time that she had brought baked potatoes into Shadis' class. Her subsequent nickname of 'Potato Girl' only lasted until they found out that a) growing up, her father was too proud to accept food stamps and b) she was an expert marksman with a bow and had grown up hunting. The first bought her sympathy, the second made them fear her retribution. Eren could also say that he admired that she managed to attend college while continuing her hero work.

Mikasa hadn't even bothered applying to schools since she felt her calling was in protecting and defending the weak. Krista had dropped out halfway through her second year after having an extended identity crisis and as far as Eren knew, Ymir had never bothered with college either. Then again, all that he really knew about Ymir was that she and Krista had known each other since before Krista came to Trost and that while she could be bitchy and obnoxious, she was absolutely devoted to her 'goddess.' He and the others assumed that they were dating, but they never did anything like kissing in public and nobody bothered to ask; it didn't matter and it didn't change anything. Regardless of their relationship being romantic or platonic, they were joined at the hip.

“Guys, we haven't all hung out together – all of us – in over a month... I've missed you.”

“Are you going to start crying and getting all mushy on us?”

“Shut up, Horseface!”

“Do we really have to do this every time? I just got back, can you two just calm down?”

“At least it's not as bad as the other night. Jesus, Eren... I haven't seen you flip out that badly since sophomore year. Are you okay? You said something about hero shit earlier?”

_Oh fuck. Why did Connie have to remember that now?_

Everyone turned to look at Mikasa.

“Oh no, don't look at me. This is entirely his mess.”

“Seriously!?”

“Eren, please tell us. We might be able to help.”

“Aww. Of course Freckled Jesus wants to help!” Ymir was smirking at him and threw her arm around Krista who shrugged her arm off and glared at her.

_This is exactly why I didn't want this to come up with everyone here and especially not out in public. Who the hell knows who's hanging around right now? Either the Titans or the Military Police could have someone following me right now and just... great, now I'm getting all paranoid about everything._

“Hey, guys?” Eren spoke up and tried to grab everyone's attention. When he had it, he continued on in a lower voice. “I'll tell you what's going on, but it's kinda big and I really don't want to talk about it in public. When we get back to Connie and Sasha's place we can talk, but right now... I'd really prefer not to.”

_Great and now everyone is looking at me like I'm crazy._

“Eren... what the hell did you get yourself into?”

“Holy crap! Freckled Jesus cursed.”

“Stop it, Ymir!”

______

They all started out of China Buffet together. Walking towards Connie's apartment, Ymir slung her arm over Krista's shoulders which Krista rolled her eyes at but left her arm there. Marco was talking with Sasha while Connie and Jean argued about a game called “Wall Attack” that he'd never heard of. Mikasa walked silently along side him, glancing at him every few moments trying to gauge how he was feeling.

“You don't need to tell them. They might be safer not knowing.”

“Yeah, but if they don't know that something big is happening then they might get caught up in it without realizing it.”

Mikasa sighed and shook her head.

“I'll trust you on this.”

Eren was about to respond when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 

 **[Asshole McFuckface:** ] Brat, if you're free tomorrow afternoon I'll teach you how to not die.

He grinned at the message, he'd forgotten about the name change for a moment.

 **[Eren:]** yea. i'm off class at 2pm. that work?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Of course you wouldn't use proper capitalization.

 **[Eren:]** sorry, but i'm not an old man.

He didn't get a response back after that.

 

_He texted me first._

His grin got even wider.


	27. Storytime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I'm back from Long Island! This chapter is a little bit longer than what I usually write (though not by much) and it sets up some more plot junk that may or may not be obvious to you (it is to me, but I'm the writer)
> 
> I wanted to sketch out everyone's (or at least some of their) costumes while I was on the train back, but I was kinda hungover and ended up sleeping so uh... that didn't happen. Eventually I will do the sketches though!
> 
> Shameless plug: I'm nine followers away from 100 on Tumblr and when I reach 100 I'm going to do some Q&A videos with my face. Depending on the number of asks that I get and what topics they're on, I might do a second day of ALYNA-only Q&A videos that I'll cross-link here. Actually, I might just do ALYNA-related videos anyway.

“Uh... Dude, we've been sitting here in dead silence for ten minutes now. You said that you had something to tell us.”

“It's getting dark, Krista and I have to be on-patrol in half an hour.”

“I'm sorry guys, it's just kind of... _big_.”

Mikasa put her hand over his and he met her eyes. He could see her concern for him and for what this could mean for their friends. Telling them this, having them know would change a lot of things. He realized that yes, he wanted to tell them about everything because he needed to unburden himself but Sahsa, Krista and Ymir all ran the risk of running into the Titans anyway. Erwin had said that it was likely that they were moving into this area as well and the last thing he wanted was for one of his friends to try and engage with them without knowing what they were up against.

Eren took a deep breath.

“I already told Marco, Connie and Jean a little bit about this the other night.” He nodded in their direction and continued. “But there's more to it now. To catch up the rest of you, a few nights ago I was kidnapped and Mikasa was attacked and nearly killed.”

Sasha inhaled sharply while Krista's eyes widened and Ymir's narrowed. Mikasa moved her hand to her scarf which she had tied around her neck and face more than usual. Pulling it away, she revealed the neck brace that she was wearing.

“I was hit from behind and my neck was nearly fractured.”

Everyone sat as though made of petrified wood.

“A-anyway, I was kidnapped by these three people who were a part of a group called the Titans and brought somewhere in the warehouse district. I ended up getting accidentally rescued by two members of the Survey Corps –”

“The Survey Corps!?” Sasha's exclamation made Eren recoil at the volume.

“Yeah. They were tracking them down anyway and they happened to show up and they freed me.”

“So you got to see them in action?”

“That's so cool, Eren!”

“Man, you're lucky!”

“Oooh. Was it Commander Handsome?”

“No! No, it wasn't. It was Dr. Scientist and The Hawk.”

“That asshole rescued you?” Ymir was looking at him skeptically.

“Well, um. Dr. Scientist was the one who ended up untying me and they gave me a ride home.”

“No shit, Jaeger? You're one fucking lucky guy, even if you did meet the freak and the asshole.”

“Dr. Scientist isn't a freak! They're really nice and The Hawk isn't... well, he isn't _awful_.”

“Uh huh. Sure thing, you're just glad that you got the chance to breathe the same air as your idol.”

“Fuck off, Horseface.”

“Can we get back to what Eren was saying? I'd really like to go home and get some sleep and what he has to tell you is pretty important.” Mikasa was starting to get grumpy at the interruptions.

Taking their silence as an assent to let him speak, Eren continued.

“So anyway, I went back the next day because -” t _hey don't need to know every detail_ “- Commander Handsome wanted to talk with me about what I might have seen or heard while I was there and see if I could give them any useful information. They didn't really talk much while I was there, but anyway. He said that he wanted me to come back because he thought that there might be something else so um... I went back and it turns out that the Titans were probably actually after me and that Mikasa has nothing to do with it. Or, more accurately... something to do with _Grisha_ ” Eren's face contorted with anger “which apparently means me as well.”

Everyone's eyes were on him, he could feel their stares searing into him. The intensity of their gazes was making him uncomfortable and he shifted repeatedly in his seat, waiting for someone to say something since he was completely without words to continue. Connie and Jean were looked like they had been poleaxed while Marco's face was awash in concern. Sasha's mouth hung open as though he jaw had come unhinged. Krista's look was somewhat blank while Ymir's jaw was locked and her face taut. Nobody was speaking or seemed capable of speech for the time being.

“I'm not sure if you knowing this will put you in a lot of danger, but I thought that it would be best if you did know. Especially if you're going to be out on the streets doing hero work. The Titans all wear these grotesque masks with human-like features. They're completely human and as far as I know, none of them have any special abilities or powers, but you should be careful... I don't want any of you getting hurt because of me.”

“If we see anyone like that, we'll avoid them. Does that sound okay to you, Ymir?”

“As long as that's what you want.” Krista nodded her head slowly.

“So we're just going to avoid getting tangled up with these guys? What if they do something serious? I'm not about to turn a blind eye to them hurting someone or stealing something just because of this. Eren, please tell me that you aren't actually asking this of us? Are you asking us to abandon our duty to the people we protect because there's a new – and potentially dangerous – group on the streets? We already deal with the Military Police and the Stationary Guard and their turf wars. We can't let this be. I can't let this be.”

“Sasha...”

“I'll be careful and I'm not going to lie, they probably are terrifying and dangerous because we know next to nothing about them, but we can't just let it go because we want to keep ourselves safe.”

They all lapsed into silence again.

“I didn't tell you about them so that you would avoid them. I told all of you so that you know what's going on and what the risks are _if_ you have to confront them.”

“Alright,” Sasha's voice was less distressed now “I'm just really tired right now, I think I'm going to go to bed.”

Sasha got up and stretched before walking back towards her room. Krista and Ymir excused themselves so that they could get their gear before going out on patrol. Marco and Jean got up to leave as well. Everyone drifted their own ways in silence, he and Mikasa were also quiet as they walked back to their apartment. There was a certain melancholy in the air.

_It's not that Sasha's wrong. What would be wrong is to let them go just because they're this scary unknown if they're hurting people, but I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. This is clearly a mess that's going to affect the people who I care about simply because I know them. I wish I had better options right now._

He continued to walk along in silence. He could feel that someone was watching and whoever they were, they were very good. He looked up to the roofs and into the alleys, but he couldn't catch a single sound or shift in the shadows. What was puzzling to him was that Mikasa didn't seem to notice. If she did, then she would almost certainly be in protective mode  by now.

_Maybe she's already caught who they are and they aren't a threat._

Eren looked around again.

“What are you looking for, Eren?”

“Nothing. It's nothing. I just... I feel like someone's watching us.”

“What?” Mikasa's eyebrows had raised up to the point where they were invisible under her hair. “I don't hear or see anything. Are you sure you aren't being paranoid?”

“Maybe? The back of my neck has been all goosebumps since we left Connie and Sasha's place.”

“Well let's walk a bit faster, we're only a block from home. Hopefully – if it _is_ anybody – it's just one of your freaky new friends from the Survey Corps.”

________

Once they were home, Mikasa went directly to take a shower to hopefully loosen up her back muscles with the hot water. Eren had been annoyed that she hadn't mentioned that she was hurting while they were out; he would have cut it short otherwise, maybe saved talking about the Titans for tomorrow. He needed to finish the labs that were due the next day and began to work on them while chatting casually with Armin about a recent science journal article on the longevity of whales.

Even though talking with Armin was relaxing, the vestiges of discomfort remained.

 

 **[Eren:]** was anybody following me tonight?

He paused, holding his breath and hoping for a response. While he was waiting he turned back to his lab and continued to work on it. He didn't receive a reply until he was getting into bed.

**[Hanji:]** Nope. Why? Did you miss me? (^_^)

**[Eren:]** i just thought i felt someone watching when i was walking back tonight

**[Hanji:]** Well it definitely wasn't me, I'll ask Mike and Levi. I haven't seen them tonight so maybe it was one of them.

**[Eren:]** thanks hanji

**[Hanji:]** Don't worry about it!

 

______

Elsewhere, Hanji turned to the three men sitting at the table with them.

“Somebody was following Eren tonight.”

 


	28. Late Night, Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is getting posted way early because lol, birds woke me up at 5am and I have to go to the mall with my mom today (joy of joys, crowds of assholes) so it's a busy day for me and my options were "post mad early" or "post mad late"
> 
> In other news: I haven't reached the 100 follower thing but idgaf, imma do the Q&A videos anyway. So even if you don't follow me on Tumblr you can leave a comment on this chapter (or anon on Tumblr) and I'll answer it on Tumblr then link it in the next chapter that I publish after it. Feel free to ask about me or ALYNA or whatever you want; I'm game for pretty much anything. 
> 
> Let's put the cut-off for Q&A submissions at "when mybrainproblems posts chapter twenty-nine"

“So we're sure he doesn't have some sort of hyper-sensory powers?”

“He hasn't reacted to anything as though he does. Levi and Mike, you guys have more experience with this. You haven't seen him react to anything stronger than someone else, have you?”

“Not that I've noticed, though I can't say that I've seen much of him.”

“You're shitting me, right? The kid doesn't have any special powers, he's been getting chased down and kidnapped for years. He probably can't explain how he knows that he's being watched, he's doing it subconsciously at this point.”

“That's even more impressive. If he was the one reaching out to us, then I don't think Red Scarf noticed either.”

“You develop survival skills because you need them.”

“It's unfortunate that they didn't seem to work when he ran into the Titans. Though we wouldn't be as well informed – if you can call it that – as we are now if it weren't for his involvement.”

“I'm sure the kid's thrilled to contribute.”

“We really need to figure out who was out there tonight.”

“It might just be the Military Police goon from the other night.”

“He noticed them the other night, if he had to ask Hanji whether one of us was there then he didn't see them. Whoever was there is better at their job.”

“How do you want us to continue, Erwin?”

Erwin looked down at the papers in his hand, only a sliver of their leads filled up a sheaf of paper that required both hands' attention. They were drowning in information that didn't approach concrete in even the most remote sense. They had one solid lead and his name was Eren Jaeger and he may or may not be under close surveillance by one or more groups of criminals.

“Hanji and Mike, go over and see what you can find. Levi, stay here and help me go over some of this to see what's worth pursuing.”

______

Eren woke up with a crick in his neck from falling asleep at his desk. He flailed his arm blindly, trying to figure out where his alarm clock was so that he could turn it off. He had been working on his labs until he could see the sky beginning to lighten. The pain in his neck and exhaustion in his limbs were his penance for leaving a major lab report go until the night before, never mind that it had been assigned a week prior.

_At least Mikasa can't really get on my ass about it this time, I've spent half a week up to my eyes in hero bullshit and it's not like I can request an extension on the deadline because my sister is Red Scarf and I get kidnapped a lot and now I'm bang in the middle of some sort of fucked up criminal conspiracy. If there is one thing that I hate about this it's that I can't use it as an excuse in the normal world even if all of the villains know who Red Scarf is and who I am. This is such utter bullshit._

Eren looked at his phone to check the time and noticed that he had an unread text message from a few hours prior.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Don't fucking forget that I'm teaching you not to get killed today at 2pm.

_Thanks, Levi. You're as eloquent as ever. Why the hell did I say 2pm though? I have class straight through until quarter of two. Shit, I guess I'm eating something quick before we meet up. Wait, where the hell are we meeting?_

**[Eren:]** how could i forget about meeting up with an old man? where are we meeting? i have class until quarter of.

He hadn't received a response by the time he was leaving for class. In retrospect, he remembered that it was eight in the morning and if Levi was out all night he might still be sleeping. As he continued to get ready, Eren realized that he didn't really know anything about any of the Survey Corp members' secret identities when it came to things like jobs. Living with Mikasa, he knew that hero work didn't pay that well (or at all, depending). She picked up some hours at the café that he went to near campus, but Eren had lucked out and got a paying position at the bio lab and had a small stipend that the university gave to their students in the STEM fields. He supposed it was their way of saying “sorry we're taking making you get up early for class, stay late in the labs, and devote your life to homework.” Red Scarf was also well-known enough that Mikasa would end up getting paid by some of the people she helped; usually shops that were the victims of robberies since it was cheaper to pay the hero who stopped the robbery than to file a police report and watch their insurance skyrocket.

Eren could hazard a guess that Hanji did pretty much the same work whether they were Hanji or Dr. Scientist. They didn't seem like someone who would take a boring job just because it was easy and worked with their life as a superhero. He couldn't imagine what the secret identities of the other three would be.

_Maybe Commander Handsome comes from some old, wealthy family and that pays for all of their work and none of them have day jobs. That seems like it would be the case and I really can't imagine Levi having any sort of normal job. At least not one that requires him to interact with people. Or maybe he's really good at being nice when required to for his job._

Eren amused himself for the remainder of the morning trying to figure out what job Levi could possibly work where his personality wouldn't get him fired right away. He felt his phone buzz as he was going into his last class of the day.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** What building is your last class in? I'll meet you outside.

 **[Eren:]** wilson biosciences, i usually take the exit facing the street. meeting me because you're worried i'm going to get kidnapped?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Yes.

 

_Is he being serious? Wh at the hell could possibly happen to me between class and leaving the damn building? I mean, I'm glad that he's meeting me here and I don't have to take the bus, but does he really not trust me to walk a block or two to meet him off-campus somewhere or at my apartment._

_Wait, does that mean he's going to be unmasked?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you aren't familiar with it: STEM stands for Sciences, Technology, Engineering and Math. I couldn't figure out a non-awkward way to word that sentence without using the acronym.


	29. Unmasked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the no-update yesterday, I ended up being busy running errands and then meeting up with friends in the city. I'm going to be posting about unplanned delays and whatever on my Tumblr and in the "fic: alyna" tag there in case you're like HOLY SHIT DID MYBRAINPROBLEMS DIE AND LEAVE THIS UNFINISHED!?
> 
> This section is a bit of a behemoth so I decided to split off this bit to post right now. There's probably going to be another chapter today, though it might be really late. We'll see, a lot happens here.
> 
> I also had to cut a huge chunk of what I wrote yesterday because there was a multi-paragraph section condemning gentrification. By the way, gentrification and access to affordable housing and city services by low-income families are legit and important plot points in this story. So yeah, just a heads up on that.

Eren wasn't entirely sure if he was supposed to be looking for the Survey Corps car or Levi himself. He couldn't imagine that Levi would show up in uniform, and street clothes with a mask seemed downright odd. The prospect of fully seeing Levi's face had his stomach doing flips.

_I already know that his body is fucking gorgeous (even if he is really short) and even with the mask, I can tell that he's pretty handsome too. Maybe not traditional “Captain America” looks like Commander Handsome, but definitely good looking._

He waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden change in brightness as he stepped out of the building and shaded his eyes to look for Levi. His eyes settled on a shorter figure in jeans and a dark blue zip-up hoodie. He would have been more certain as too the identity of the person if they hadn't also had a baseball cap drawn down  down low to cover their eyes and part of their face.

_So either that's Levi or someone who wants me to think that they're Levi and is going to grab me and drag me off to who-the-fuck-knows-where._

**[Eren:]** are you the person in the baseball cap? i can't tell if it's you.

He watched as the person in the cap pulled out their phone.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** What the fuck? Who else would it be?

**[Eren:]** titan, mp, some crazy person. i have every right to be paranoid rn.

With  Levi' s identity confirmed, Eren started walking towards the other man and a few moments later they were standing face to face.  Eren couldn't see his face particularly well, but he thought he could see a bit of a smirk hidden under the shadow cast by the cap.

“I guess your instincts for self-preservation aren't complete shit. Good to know I'm not starting from square one.”

“Fuck off, I haven't died yet.”

Eren jumped slightly as Levi let out a bark of laughter, or at least he thought it was a laugh. He followed after him as he began to walk away.

“Awfully mouthy today, aren't we? Bad grade on an exam?”

“No. I've just had it with you being an asshole to me."

“Save your energy for fighting.”

“Um... can we stop for food or something? I've had classes pretty much straight through since nine o'clock in the morning.”

“Are you shitting me? Why did you say two if your day is so busy? It's not worth it if you're going to be tired.”

“I'm not tired! I just want to get some lunch.”

Levi turned around quickly to face him. Eren still couldn't see his face fully, but he could feel Levi's glare on him.

“There's a cafe I usually go to. It's just a block that way. The lunch rush should be over so I can just grab something quick...”

“Fine. Lead on, brat.”

“I _can_ walk myself. It's not like anything is going to happen between now and getting a sandwich.”

“You really have no idea what you walked into, do you?”

“Well it's not like any of you are explaining it to me.”

“Just get your damn sandwich so we can go.”

______

Levi had made Eren eat his sandwich outside of the car before leaving. It turned out that he was even more fastidious with his own car than the Survey Corps one. This amused Eren to no end since his car was a fairly beat up Honda Civic that was at least ten years old. The outside wasn't in the best condition, but the interior was spotless. He could also see that Hanji had made some tweaks inside of the car as well.

“So... why the old car?”

“Why not? It still runs and it doesn't stand out. I would think a broke-ass college kid could understand that.”

“I don't have a license.”

“What the hell? Seriously?”

“I've never needed one. I've always lived in cities.”

Levi snorted derisively in response and continued driving. Eren was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the silence as they drove. There was something about being in Levi's own car that was making him tense up. He knew that it was just a car, but it felt more personal than being picked up in the Survey Corps car. Eren shifted uncomfortably as he tried to think of a topic to break the silence.

“So why did you pick me up in your car?”

“Hanji and Mike are out doing recon work, they need all the special kit in that one.”

“Oh.” _Well that was a super involved conversation._

 

“We're here.”

They had parked in front of a nondescript old factory that looked like it was starting to crumble into the ground.  Levi was already out of the car and walking towards  the building by the time Eren's brain caught up and he started getting out of the car. For him, old factories and warehouses were related to kidnappings. It seemed like whenever somebody would grab him, nine times out of ten he ended up in one of the many abandoned and deteriorating buildings that were a relic of Trost's industrial past.  They were fewer and farther between now than a few years ago; buildings that were unsound were being demolished to make way for new shops and apartments and the buildings that could be saved were being converted into h omes for the wealthy . Over the years, parts of the city  had  bec o me less and less familiar to Eren.  A neighborhood like the one they were standing in now had been common; now you had to go to North Shore or the southwestern border  tucked  in the shadow of the old palisades.

_ T imes change, I guess. I wonder where I'm going to get tossed to for safekeeping from now on. Maybe crappy old apartments like the other night, or maybe not anywhere anymore... I know I'm not going to be unbeatable just because Levi is going to work with me, but maybe I'll be able to  _ not _ get kidnapped the next time someone has a mind to grab me. _

“Oi, Eren!” Levi's figure had turned back around towards him while he was lost in his own thoughts. His face was still shaded by the cap but his tone conveyed enough that Eren could guess that he was annoyed that they were just standing there. He quickly jogged up the steps that Levi was standing at the top of, waiting while Levi unlocked the padlock from the bolt across the door.

______

“So what is this place? It looked ready to collapse outside but it isn't even all that dusty in here?”

“We use it to store some of our larger gear and just larger things in general. Hanji also does some of their tinkering here.”

“It's a little bit far from your headquarters, isn't it?”

“Unlike some people, we're adults who have drivers' licenses.”

E ren groaned and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes.  _ I should never have said anything. I will admit that it is stupid though, not having a license sucks but also who the hell is going to teach me? Mikasa doesn't drive. Maybe Levi would teach me...? _

“We're heading upstairs. The windows aren't covered up there so there's actual light.”

 

“So... why are we here?”

“Can you think of another place that we could practice sparring where there's this much open space and that also isn't out in the open?”

“Okay, fine. Can you take the hat off, though? It's really weird.”

“I didn't bring a mask, so no.”

“What the hell? I've seen everyone else's face.”

“Commander Handsome doesn't count. He does that idiotic Clark Kent thing with the glasses.”

“ _Fine._ I've seen Hanji and Mike without their masks.”

L evi was facing him with his arms crossed tightly over his chest a nd his left hip cocked slightly to the  side . He could tell by the tension in  the part of his face that he could see that Levi was getting annoyed.

“Fine.” He pulled the cap back and dragged a hand through his hair to straighten it after spending time under a hat. “Happy now?”

Eren was only semi-aware that he was staring intently at Levi. He had already known that he found the man attractive even without being able to see his entire face, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought that it was probably partially the result of knowing how important a superhero's secret identity was and the fact that – all things considered – Levi had given in to completely uncovering his face with minimal resistance.

“Are you done staring?”

“Y-yeah. You... it's different, um. Okay, what are we doing?”

_ Fantastic. How am I supposed to concentrate now? _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday I realized that the Trost of the ALYNA-verse is a weird amalgam of Hoboken, NJ in the 90s and early-00s undergoing gentrification and Worcester, MA dealing with the economics of being a post-industrial city located a bit too close to Boston.
> 
> I will art very basic map of this soon because yeah. Also potentially a short essay on economic and urban environmental geography in the ALYNA-verse because that was my undergrad major and wow I built a world that is way too detailed for being fucking fan fiction. Shoot me now.


	30. Blow for Blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said that this would be up late tonight? Well the writing bug bit me hard so here, have a thing. It took me a while because of the POV changes and making sure actions matched up.
> 
> Now before you hate me, lemme say two words: Slow. Build.

“Show me what you've got.”

“What...?”

“Attack me. I won't fight back, I'll just defend myself. Show me what you can do.”

_Okay, I just need to try and fight him. Pretend he's one of the many, many people who've tried to kidnap me or maybe even Horseface. But also it's_ Levi _and why does he have to be so fucking attractive. It's fucking distracting. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him to take the cap off. Dammit._

“Come on, kid. Do something already.”

Eren threw a punch at Levi which he swatted away easily.

“Don't just fucking stand there. Bend your knees, put your weight into it. I thought you said you got into fights when you were in high school. You must have lost all of them if you were just standing there like that.”

He took a better fighting stance and went to punch Levi again, but he never connected. Levi had back ed away and Eren's fist sailed  through the air a foot away from him.

“Do you really expect your opponent to just stand there and take it? Move!”

“Fuck off, Levi.” Eren grit his teeth and started moving along with Levi, trying to land a blow. Every time he was either blocked or missed entirely because Levi moved away faster.

  
  


______

Eren was getting angry at his inability to make contact with Levi. He had started out with the intention of seeing what the kid could do, but it had become clear that his anger and frustration were just making him sloppy.

_For fuck's sake, kid..._ Levi dodged away again.  _What the hell are you going to do if you find yourself in an actual fight?_ He blocked and then dodged the next attempt at landing a hit.

“Do you really expect your opponent to just stand there and take it?” _You're a sitting duck, kid._ “Move!”

“Fuck off, Levi.” Another dodge away. “Aren't I supposed to be learning to defend myself _against_ someone?”

_Fine._

Levi didn't move this time.

When Eren went to hit him again he hit his arm away and swung his own fist straight at him. Eren staggered back, his lip was split and he was definitely going to have some bruising on the left side of his face. He stared at Levi.

And then he erupted.

_Good, there's that fire._

He wasn't just letting Levi block him and move away from him anymore. His blows were almost connecting. He was following Levi as he moved, but it wasn't a chase anymore. They were moving in tandem as he lashed out at Levi and was endlessly blocked. Few of his punches ended up sailing through the air and connecting with nothing now, but Levi could tell that he was still holding back.

_Not bad, kid but you shouldn't need someone to hit you before you're motivated to defend yourself. Nobody is going to give you that courtesy. Put everything you've got into defending yourself._

“Don't fucking hold back.”

Eren landed a blow to Levi's side.

Levi braced himself for another blow that never came. The kid had frozen up in front of him with a look of shock on his face, he looked like he was on the verge of apologizing.

_What. The. Fuck._

He swung back at Eren and hit him square in the gut and he doubled over in pain, gripping where he had been hit.

“I told you not to fucking hold back.” Another blow to the side of his face.

_This isn't a fucking game, kid. If someone is going to try and get to you, they aren't going to hold back and you shouldn't either. You don't fucking know who you're going to be up against. What the hell happens if it turns out that someone you know is one of the Titans? What fucking then, kid?_

  
  


______

Eren had been shocked when Levi first hit him. He could taste the blood in his mouth from the cut on his lip and the throb on his face where he knew a bruise would bloom in the next few hours. He stared at Levi as he backed away slightly to catch his breath.

_What the fuck Levi? Jesus, fine. Fuck this shit. Fuck you. This is bullshit and I've had it. I know you're goading me into this, but if you want to have a fight, we'll have a fucking fight._

Not being able to hit him didn't seem as frustrating now since he was moving closely enough that he was no longer punching thin air. Levi was leading him on a dance around the room, but it wasn't a chase; it felt organic, intimate. He saw a slight opening in Levi's defense and took it, the blow that he delivered was harder than he had been anticipating. He froze up for a moment at the quiet grunt that made it past Levi's lips.

_Shit, I didn't mean to hit him that hard. I don't even_ want _to hit him._

Suddenly he was bent all the way forward, gripping his side and in pain.

_What the fuck, Levi? What was that for? Were you really so pissed about getting hit that you had to lash out like that?_ _What happened to just defending yourself so you could see what I'm capable of?_

“I told you not to fucking hold back.”

And then he stumbled as Levi landed another punch to the left side of his head again, this time making him stagger in confusion and pain rather than angering him into action.

Eren continued to stand there, breathing heavily through his mouth and tasting blood. His body was still bowed forward, protecting his midsection and he sank onto his knees to rest. Eren looked up at Levi through the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. His face remained impassive but Eren swore that he could see anger in his eyes and in the way his jaw was set. Even when he was angry and sweaty, Eren thought that Levi was beautiful. In spite of the fact that he was in pain and could taste blood, he couldn't help but think about another situation that would also have Levi sweaty and breathing heavily in front of him. There wouldn't be any blood in that situation.

“What if someone you know is one of the Titans?” Levi's voice was loud and he was gritting his teeth in anger. “What then?”

_Oh._

“Sorry, I just... it's just that I know you and I also know that you're The Hawk so my brain keeps going 'he's one of the good guys so why are we fighting?' and I know you and I know you aren't actually trying to hurt me really... It's kind of a mess, I know.”

Levi frowned and sighed before offering him a hand to help him stand back up.

“Well you're going to have to get used to it.”

Eren felt his stomach flip as Levi gripped his hand and helped him up. They were standing in close proximity now and Eren couldn't help his eyes wandering over Levi's face, tracing every inch with his gaze. He couldn't tell his eye color since he wasn't looking directly at him so he began to commit every other detail to memory. He found himself staring at his lips, wondering what they felt like. He began to dip his head closer subconsciously.

“And don't hold back just because of a fucking crush.”

  
  


______

To him it was written plain as day what Eren was thinking about in that moment. He could see the dopey grin ready to come through the pain as he stared at him and he could see him slowly leaning down to him, his face flushed and his eyes fixed on his lips. He was more than a little fed up with the situation at this point.

_That's it. I'm fucking sick of this._

“And don't hold back just because of a fucking crush.” The kid looked like he'd been slapped. “I didn't think I'd have to say anything since I thought it was pretty fucking clear that I'm not interested in having anything to do with a child.”

_Don't do this to yourself, kid._


	31. Explosions and Implosions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. I really didn't intend for the previous chapter to get read the way that it did. I actually considered going back and re-writing it a few times because while it works for me as the author it clearly didn't work out for a bunch of you guys. Trying to work with the different readings of it in this chapter was really difficult and I kinda just gave up after a point so hopefully this isn't complete shit. 
> 
> Normally I would try to include this sort of exposition / explanation in the story itself, but I don't want to create any more confusion: It is a Big Deal for someone to voluntarily unmask themselves and an especially Big Deal for someone like Levi, not to mention that at this point Eren is virtually a stranger to him. So like, that is hella trust right there and would be hella distracting for Eren since his sister is a superhero and he has grown up within that weird little sub-culture and knows what's up. I think that got a bit lost in translation because of the shifting POV and I forgot that you guys aren't in my head and I'm super sorry about that. (-_-;)
> 
> One more note: I've been on Levi's side of the fence in situations like this and sometimes it does seem like a better idea to put distance between yourself and someone crushing on you rather than saying anything outright if they haven't said or done anything explicit so maybe you overdo it and you're a little too callous about their feelings and then shit gets fucked up later when you *do* have to say something. And yes, that is me copping to having been a really shitty person at points in my life.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter isn't complete and utter shit. It took me ages to figure out how I wanted to approach it.

Dead, ringing silence.

“Oh, so _now_ you're going to bring it up?”

Not that Levi had been expecting tears or anything melodramatic, but indignant fury hadn't been on the list of expected reactions. He stood there in stunned silence.

“Fine. Let's do this. Do I think you're attractive? Yes. Was I a bit of a fanboy when we first met? Also yes. Do I want to do anything other than fuck you? No. Fuck, no. Not anymore. You're a stupidly attractive asshole and that's pretty much it. So yeah, you're distracting but then you go and say something like that and just wow.”

Eren was glaring at Levi, his fists were tight and his jaw clenched and unclenched as Levi looked at him warily, waiting to see if he would continue.

“I'm sorry if I –” His stilted apology was cut off almost immediately.

“If you what? Lead me on?” Eren’s temper flared back up. “Because you've been pretty fucking clear about the fact that you think I'm just a kid. And that would hurt a hell of a lot less if I wasn't twenty-one and hadn't been pretty much on my own except for my sister since I was fourteen. So stop fucking patronizing me.”

The silence crashed into the void left by Eren's voice; his anger began to still. He watched as Levi slowly folded up into himself; crossing his arms in front of him, shoulders curling inwards, chin lowering towards his chest. He began to speak quietly.

“I'm sorry. However –” Levi sent Eren a sharp glare before he could say anything. “– you do need to take your own self-defense more seriously. Don't let anyone or anything distract you. Even if it is my stupidly attractive face.” His lips curved up into a smirk at the final statement.

_You have got to be shitting me, Levi. That's really where you're going to take this right now? You call me out on my crush, I call you an asshole, you tell me I need to focus on defending myself?_

“You're a real asshole, you know that?”

“You aren't the first to say it.” His tone was flat and affectless.

Eren half expected him to turn away and leave, but he stayed in place. They stared at on another, refusing to break eye contact; waiting for some unknown variable to shift before they could move. Their mutual feelings of discomfort fed one another and the tension heightened. The weight that settled around them was so thick and heavy that Eren imagined that he could feel every molecule of air that touched his skin. He wanted to stay angry, but mainly he just felt like leaving this behind. He had said more than he had wanted to say and he had the uncomfortable feeling that Levi might have let something slip as well, even if he couldn’t put his finger on it right now. The tangible tension and discomfort was beginning to make the stillness of the air suffocating.

“Well this was completely unproductive.” Levi eyes closed and he sighed heavily. “Let’s get you home.”

“So we’re not going to actually talk about this at all?”

“You have a crush on me, I don’t feel the same way. There’s nothing to discuss.” His words were clipped and precise, his tone sharp.

Eren could feel the frustration continuing to bubble hotly under his skin. _And somehow that means that there’s nothing to discuss? Just because you don’t feel the same way we can’t discuss this? What the fuck, Levi?_

“And how the hell does that mean there’s nothing to discuss?”

“I’m not going to change my mind regardless of what you have to say.” Levi shrugged. “Is there something that you think we need to talk about?”

“Um… how is this going to work now?”

“How is _what_ going to work now?”

“We’re going to be running into each other a lot…”

“Is that going to be an issue for you?” Levi’s voice was cold and detached and somehow _wrong_. “It wouldn’t be that much of an issue to have Hanji or Mike do the majority of shadowing you.”

“And not see your stupidly attractive face?” Eren forced a grin and Levi rolled his eyes at him. When he couldn’t keep the fake grin up anymore he let it drop and kept his face neutral. “It’s fine, I’ll live.”

He watched as Levi’s eyes swept across his face looking for something.

“Okay.” Levi's brow furrowed. “We should go.”

______

Eren was grateful that Mikasa was taking a nap when he returned home. He hadn’t taken the opportunity to look at his face in the mirror when he was in the car for the dead silent ride back home but he could feel the stiffness in his jaw, the sharp soreness on his lip and the throbbing on his face from the blows that he had taken. It wasn’t until he had put his bag in his room and started running the shower to heat up that he checked his injuries, making sure that there wasn’t anything too awful. The bruises hadn’t completely set in yet, but his lip had long since stopped bleeding and (in his opinion) it didn’t look too horrible all things considered.

 _At least the cut on my eyebrow is mostly healed. I’d really look like hell if I still had to have the butterfly bandages on it now and it looks like my lip scabbed over alright so I shouldn’t need to do anything with that._ He studied his face in the mirror a bit longer, further evaluating his injuries. _And the bruises should go down pretty quickly too. They’re really not all that bad…_

He got into the shower and stepped under the stream of water, allowing the heat of the water to loosen up the tension in his shoulders and back.

 _Actually, the bruises on my face should be a lot worse shouldn’t they? Levi doesn’t have super strength, but he’s definitely stronger than a normal person would be._ Eren snorted and started massaging shampoo into his hair. _The joys of being a former fanboy; I get to have shit like that pop into my head. Fuck, it is weird to think about the fact that The Hawk and Levi are the same person. Superhero who protects people and beats up the bad guys, asshole who beats someone up because he thinks they aren’t taking things seriously. At least I didn’t end up like one of the Military Police thugs from that big drug bust last month. Some of them looked awful on the news and now I’m pretty fucking sure I know who did that. They looked like hamburger meat, at least I got off with just some bruises and a cut._ Eren let out a hollow laugh as he thought about how his injuries were “getting off easy.” He paused with his hands still in his hair.

 _Levi had to have been holding back against me. I got into fights in high school where I came out looking worse than this. So I guess he’s not a_ complete _asshole. Then again, Commander Handsome probably would have raked him over the coals if he had done any serious damage._

He kept his mind off of anything specific as he finished showering, focusing on the relaxing heat of the water.

After getting out of the shower Eren stopped off in the kitchen to make a sandwich and went back to his room to work on yet another lab report and to start trying to figure out what he wanted to do for his thesis. The fact that he still hadn’t figured out a topic hit him like a truck made of panic; he needed to submit it for approval next week.

 _Fuck shit fuck shit fuck. Stupid fucking hero stuff getting in the way of the_ completely normal things _that I want to do with my life._

He ended up discussing potential topics with Armin for the next three hours. He still didn’t have a clue by the time he was getting into bed well after midnight with his lab report still unfinished.

Eren was starting off to sleep when another thought drifted through his mind.

_Levi unmasked himself today just because I asked._

_What the fuck._

_I got to see that asshole’s stupidly attractive face._

_…_

_He’s still a fucking asshole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just going to say right now that I had my first huge crisis of confidence as a writer after chapter thirty and I did briefly consider just giving this up. It wasn't that anyone said anything mean or anything it's just that I realized that I had failed as a writer in presenting a situation as I envisioned it and that was kinda painful for me.


	32. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt. 1 (Collapse)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, the outpouring of support for ALYNA has been completely nuts. I promise that I'm not going anywhere any time soon; you guys are my motivation to keep going and I feel kinda bad about doubting myself now because I don't want to leave you guys in the lurch and I do really love the ALYNA-verse and the insane back story shit that starts up in this chapter.
> 
> So I'm assuming that you've noticed the title and yes, I'm playing with the canon-verse episode titles but it also fits perfectly. There are multiple parts but I'm not sure if part two is going to come directly after this yet; the Fall of Shiganshina chapters might end up being non-sequential but we'll see. Expect another short chapter about Shiganshina today, but it's going to be in the Asides rather than here.
> 
> As a head's up: Yes, I will be getting into social issues and shit because that's a huge part of the ALYNA-verse. Especially with Eren, Mikasa and Levi's back stories and character development (like holy shit wow huge). I did a lot of work with economic and urban-environmental geography for my undergrad degree and I love shit like this. Oh and if you're interested, you should check out the history behind the founding of gangs in NYC throughout its history. A lot of gangs started out as neighborhood watch type groups that provided social and physical infrastructure that the city didn't provide for low-income and minority populations. A really good parallel to the Stationary Guard would be the Young Lords (who are super awesome and you should go check that shit out because it's amazing)

Crinkling and crumbling.

Painful heat on his face.

Ash in the air.

He couldn’t breathe.

Screams and crying.

There was blood on his hands and the world around was collapsing around him.

Yelling, pleading, terror, anger.

In the air and flames were receding and he wanted to throw up but there just wasn’t anything there because there hadn’t been dinner yet and mom and mom and mom. And later there was nothing but sirens and nobody with kind eyes and smiles only gaunt horror and empty eyes reaching out and pleading have you seen them are they here they got out they must have.

Of course they did calm down ma’am you’re fine and they’re going to be okay and don’t tell her that her son is dead the poor thing.

Mikasa next to him and they stare at each other and cling and they can’t find another soul to cling to but one another and they’re not quite fourteen and they know that the world is cruel but they couldn’t have even imagined that it would be so callous as this.

A moment of comfort and a flare of anger.

You could have helped why didn’t you why did you let him carry us away she was right there. You should have been able to lift that you should have helped why didn’t you help she was right there.

She was right there.

It was raining wasn’t it? Or were those tears?

______

Eren woke up choking on phantom ash and smoke.

His body was sore from fighting with Levi, but the pain he felt was different. Like there had been ice in his chest that was starting to melt and everything was cold and hollow but his skin still felt that hot burn of the memory.

He knew that sleep didn’t want him again but there was no way he could do anything productive now; not like this. So he lay stiffly on his back with eyes pinning that crack on the ceiling into place. He couldn’t help it, but he remembered and his mind wouldn’t let him forget now so it played on endless loop. For the first time in a months he picked up the pieces and turned them over and over, looking at every detail and wishing that he could make sense of it. It was like a kid worrying at a loose tooth. Probing it for the pain and trying to figure out the mystery underneath before it fell out and was replaced.

Memories – unlike teeth – do not fall out.

______

It should have been a day like many others before it but it wasn’t.

They should have come home to her smiling face and strong tea and pistachios and if it were a good day and if it had been a good week at work then maybe even baklava. They would sit in the kitchen and do their homework because it was warmer and there was sunshine and they would all smile and he knew now that she was tired and sad because he had grown up but still she smiled through it all.

It wasn’t a normal day.

She wouldn’t smile anymore.

 

They smelled the burning and saw the billowing plume of smoke hanging over their complex from the end of the block and when they saw the haunted faces of their neighbors they ran until their lungs were burning like the building, until their legs felt like they were going to collapse like it was. The fire burned and the wreckage continued to shift and sink but nobody was coming yet and they knew it. Nobody would be there soon enough.

So they ran up the stairs because at least that was intact and their half of the third floor was crushed under the weight of the four floors above it and they could just barely see her under it all; a face and an arm free, the other arm trapped, her lower half invisible under the rubble. And they tried to lift it and his hands were bloody and they were crying and Mikasa was shaking and wailing because she just couldn’t move it and she was yelling for them to leave while the floors and the walls and the ceilings began to sink and shift even more. But Hannes was there and it was okay now but she continued to yell and plead as rubble fell and he stared at her with an ocean of sadness and then they were up in the air and the flames were receding…

And so was her face.

With the saddest smile he’d ever seen.

You have to fight to live.

His mother fought for them.

 

He heard the words later: code violations, corruption, absentee landlords. The upturned noses at just how could they bear to live in such a place, why wouldn’t they just _move_ if it were that bad, it should have been condemned and torn down long ago. The outrage at the delayed response, the death toll, the lack of safe and affordable housing. How dare the city let this happen?

A month later nobody remembered and nothing changed.

The spark of public outrage fizzled out.

The politicians and the bureaucrats were all too happy to let it go.

Nobody cared.

The housing was worse and people crammed in because there was nowhere else to go and what was renter’s insurance when you were already struggling with the rent itself? And how many kids should have been in foster care and abandoned to the system that had failed them once again if Pixis and Hannes and all the rest hadn’t been there because they _knew_. Everyone knew the system was broken so they relied on their own.

South Stationary knew that it was them against the world and if they weren’t there for each other then who the hell was. Short on rent? Talk to Pixis. Was he abusive? Brzenska had two fists for him. Did they not come home after school? Hannes would find them.

But that was peace time.

Then Pixis was gone and it was a war and everything was burning.

Nobody knew who killed Pixis, but the Stationary Guard wasn’t guarding anything but itself anymore and by then it was bigger than South Stationary could ever contain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Small clarification update: South Stationary is a neighborhood / district within Shiganshina.]


	33. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hasn't been edited as much as it should be since my sleep meds kicked in faster than they usually do. If you haven't checked out the ALYNA Asides, chapter three went up yesterday and it has more information about what happened in the previous chapter w/r/t Shiganshina and Carla's death. It's in an odd format since I wrote it as blurbs from the "local papers" about what happened.
> 
>  
> 
> I ended up listening to hella Top 40s pop music today (don't ask) while writing this so some mental wires got crossed and now I have a headcanon that Levi secretly loves Miley Cyrus.
> 
> Eren will discover this at some point.

He knew that he should head back to HQ, but it had been a weird day and he needed some space to sort through everything. Today had gone nothing like what he had expected. He yanked the door to his apartment and closed it with more force than he had intended. Sitting down on the couch heavily he hunched over and leaned his face forward into his hands.

 _On the one hand, that could have gone worse – then again it also could have gone a whole hell of a lot better. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, but it could have gotten way messier later. Fucking kid with a crush on_ me _of all people. I can’t even say that it’s flattering, I’m supposed to watch out for this kid and I don’t need him complicating things._

_Shouldn’t have taken the damn cap off. Jesus that was a fucking awful idea._

_I guess the bright side of this whole mess is that I found out that it’s only physical attraction and that he’s not mooning around hoping that I’m going to somehow decide that I want a relationship with a kid almost a decade younger than me. He’ll get over – what was it? – my “stupidly attractive face”?_

Levi took his face out of his hands and looked up again, glaring at the wall as though it were to blame for everything. He remembered that he was the one who was supposed to be shadowing Eren for the next few days. His frustration with the situation suddenly peaked and he slammed his foot into the coffee table in front of him sending it sliding a good three feet away from him.

His face tightened into a cruel smirk.

_Maybe I should’ve just fucked him just so that he could get it out of his system._

A grim laugh and the smirk dropped off his face.

_No, that would make even more of a mess and fucking hell that would be a disaster; he isn’t even particularly attractive. Fucking pretty eyes but I’m not some sappy idiot – doesn’t make up for shit._

He leaned his head back on the sofa and sighed deeply.

_I need a drink._

______

“Wow, you’re in foul mood.”

“Shut it, goggles.”

“You’ve been drinking…”

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that you’re supposed to be shadowing Eren tonight?”

“Exactly.”

“Um…? Going to explain that one?”

“The brat has a crush on me.”

“Yeah, that was kinda obvious that first night. Soooo… something happened, fill me in!”

“I called him out on it and he freaked out at me.”

“And you were being your usual cuddly self, weren’t you?”

Levi mumbled something at the table they were sitting at.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“I said that I might have called him out on it after punching him in the face.”

“WHAT!?”

He groaned and brought his hand up to his head.

“I offered to give him self-defense lessons because the kid is fucking useless and he wasn’t taking it seriously so I figured that he might be more inclined to actually _try_ if he were a bit angry.”

“…so you punched him.”

“Yeah. He ended up getting me back later but he froze up right after, so I might have got a little pissed off and hit him again.”

“And then you told him that you know he has a crush on you.”

“Sounds about right.”

“You’re freaking kidding me, right?”

Hanji’s incredulity at his actions was palpable and he flinched at their unspoken reproach.

“I didn’t say I was proud.”

“Damn straight you shouldn’t be. How did he take it? I’m _assuming_ that you rejected him. Please tell me that you did.”

“Are you shitting me, Hanji? Of course I told him I wasn’t interested. Jesus.”

“And he took it how…?”

“Like I said, he freaked out and screamed at me.”

“Freaked out how? You’re making this like pulling teeth.”

“Fine. He was pissed off that I didn’t say anything sooner, which is fucked up since he also said that he already knew I wasn’t interested but whatever. Also that he’s sick of me treating him like a kid, but for fuck’s sake he’s a decade younger than me so I don’t know what he expects. Oh and he explicitly mentioned that it’s just physical attraction so at least there’s that – he’ll get over it quickly.”

“And that’s why you were drinking?” An eyebrow raised

“It was a stressful day.”

“Sorry but no, you’ve been less stressed than this after we’ve run into the Titans.”

“Fucking hell, Hanji. The kid has a crush on me and I’m supposed to do _what_? I don’t want to deal with this shit. I have enough on my plate without this. I don’t want to think about how to handle this.”

“Just act like you normally would. Eren seems like he has an alright head on his shoulders. I think he’d be more upset if you started treating him differently now. I don’t think I need to tell you of all people, but keep some personal distance so he has some space to get over it. Keeping your mask on so far was probably a good idea –”

_Fuck._

“– revealing secret identities complicates things.”

_No shit._

“…yeah.”

“Well, you seem pretty much sober. Get your gear together and I’ll drive you over so that you can sit on a roof. Bring some tea with you, it’s getting cold.”

“I’ll be fine.”

______

Levi couldn’t decide if he was happy or annoyed that Eren stayed in all night. Sure, it was an easy job to just sit around and see if the kid’s malevolent shadow would show up, but it was also annoying as hell to sit around and wait for someone else to _maybe_ show up. He became less and less comfortable with his position as time went on.

_Nothing is fucking happening, the kid’s probably just doing his shitty homework. I just want to go home and sleep._

Levi was debating whether he wanted to call it quits and leave when he saw the last light in the kid’s apartment turn off. He decided to stick around for a bit longer to see if somehow that would bring someone else into the open. If there was one thing that he wouldn’t be forgetting about from today, it was the simple phrase that had been echoing through his mind on and off for the past few hours.

“And that would hurt a hell of a lot less if I wasn't twenty-one and hadn't been pretty much on my own except for my sister since I was fourteen…”

_Fourteen._

_Jesus._

_What happened to you, kid?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Levi will not be a closet fan of Miley. Sorry if I got your hopes up; that was a joke.


	34. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt. 2 (Vaccine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than I wanted, but oh well. It's a set-up chapter.
> 
> Now I'm just going to say, the degree of hype that I am about the current plot direction is pretty high. Because starting now there's a bit less waffling around and setting up things, most of it is just going to be building off of earlier things. It's gonna be cool beans and sweet beets.
> 
> Thing to note: I created a link at the top of my Tumblr page that brings you to all of the things I've posted tagged with "fic: alyna" and this is relevant because I pretty much only post things to that tag that are *explicitly* ALYNA-related. Basically I only tag chapters getting posted or if there are updates on chapters being delayed or a change in posting schedule. So yeah, you can specifically check that out if you think I died or something.
> 
> Another update though: I'm going to an every-other-day schedule for posting chapters. I keep running into snags on an every-other-day basis so I figure I might as well just call a spade a spade. Sorry I spoiled y'all early on.

It was now half past three in the morning. The wave of paralysis that had gripped him had passed. Instead of being pinned to his bed by cold, sick fear at the memory of choking heat, he was restless and yet in need of silence. He pushed himself up and got out of bed so quickly that he nearly fell over as his body adapted to the sudden change in position. Mostly upright, he stumbled towards the kitchen with the intent of getting a glass of water to clear the phantom ash from his throat.

He stood, leaning against the counter having already drained two glasses of water trying to wash away the memory of hot ash and smoke. The chill of the floor was seeping into the toes of his bare feet and he could feel the faint grit from the floor sticking to the bottoms of his feet. He looked around the kitchen; there were dishes in the sink, the counters had some splatters from what looked like spaghetti and the floor had a grainy feel from dropped food and accumulated dirt.

He was far from being a clean freak – he couldn’t remember the last time that he had done more than wash the dishes – but at not-yet-four in the morning with nothing to keep him company other than painful memories cleaning seemed like a good idea.

The rhythmic scrubbing and hush of running water began to relax the residual fight-or-flight tension from his memories. The repetitive motions and sound lulled him into a state of unguarded blankness; he watched every memory slide across his eyes, emotionless as though they weren’t his. Time passed without his awareness; it stretched without end, it contracted and sped up.

In the half-light of almost-dawn Eren remembered without feeling.

 

His father leaving for days at a time for work.

Finding his mother crying at the kitchen table one night.

Dinner with the three of them.

Mikasa and him walking home with the fresh spring breeze on their faces.

A kitchen table with four chairs.

The smell of disinfectant when his father came home.

Finding Mikasa.

The warm sunshine in their kitchen.

Only three chairs now.

Christmas when he was four; the broken ornaments belonged to his deceased grandmother.

He couldn’t count the number of fights – at least he healed quickly.

His mother thought there were too many vaccines.

The red bicycle.

He walked out the door and didn’t look back.

Mikasa didn’t leave her room for the rest of that next day.

The three of them watching movies all night and falling asleep in the living room.

Don’t throw things out if they’re still good.

Death and fire and collapse.

Trying so hard.

Giving up.

He was never walking back through that door – any door – so why even bother?

 

A plate crashed against the wall.

A wave of emotion ripped through the soporific emptiness.

Hate. Anger. Fury. Pain.

Eren knew that there was a chance that he had woken up Mikasa and he found that his rage had pushed it so far to the back of his mind that he couldn’t do anything more than offer it a nod of acknowledgement. All he wanted was to get rid of _this_ – this pain that was so utterly useless to him, that served no purpose other than to continue to swell up and hurt him. Just mentioning his father upset him, never mind having his mind re-play that final day.

_He just fucking walked out. He didn’t even look back._

If he had to guess why he still allowed himself to dredge everything up on occasion, he couldn’t tell you. When he was younger he wanted to believe that if he took them out and looked at them then maybe the pain that time would vaccinate him against future pain; it was just like his father said. Vaccines were something that he knew a lot about, Dr. Jaeger was adamant about getting vaccinations when Eren was little – he hated needles. Dr. Jaeger saw far too many patients fall gravely ill because they didn’t get vaccinated against something simple early on.

If there was thing that kept Eren from truly hating his father it was that he had decided to serve as a doctor in the South Stationary district as well as continuing his work developing more stable vaccines at a small lab in North Shiganshina. Being one of the few doctors located in the district proper meant that he was in constant high demand, but given his patients’ own financial circumstances and his lab work having been brought down to part-time, the Jaeger household had been far from well-off. He could admire his father’s dedication, but Eren was also be furious that he would put his family in a position where they lacked security and the constant presence of a family member. Things were relatively comfortable before his father left, but after that.

______

_“Grisha, really…”_

_“I have to go, Carla. It’s important.”_

_“It’s Saturday!”_

_“It can’t be helped. I need to go to the office.”_

_“Dad! Can I go with you?”_

Eren still couldn’t forget the appraising stare of his father. The frown, the drawn-together brows. His father stooping down to kneel at eye-level with his younger self. Meeting his eyes and –

_“No, Eren. You can’t come with me today. Maybe tomorrow.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Of course.”_

– lying to his face.

______

He stared down at the pieces of the shattered plate for a moment longer and went to get the broom to sweep it up. As he rummaged around their kitchen closet for the dust pan he looked out the window and realized that the sun was coming up; it was already peeking out over the horizon.

_Is this the sort of shit that you wanted me to think about, Erwin? Because if this is what you wanted then I really should be sending you therapy bills. What’s the use in any of this anyway? Do you think the Titans want me because I have unresolved daddy issues? If that’s it then maybe they have the name of a good therapist they can refer me to. One that preferably takes payment in the form of superhero services provided by my sister._

Done sweeping up the pieces, he returned the broom and dustpan to the closet and resumed looking out the window at the rising sun. The dull throb of anger was still in his blood, but it was calming slowly as he focused on breathing evenly and watching the sky.

_I don’t know why I keep pulling all these memories out like they aren’t going to hurt me._

_There’s no vaccine against that._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter title is one of my faves so far. All of the chapters with "The Fall of Shiganshina" in the title are going to be Eren's memories of Shiganshina. These chapters won't be posted in any sequential or linear chronological order, they're just going to be popping up as they make sense.


	35. Two Truths and a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So of course the day after I'm like "sorry guys, I can't pull off daily updates anymore" I get bitten by the writing bug. So here's a short chapter, I'm already starting the next one so there should be an update tomorrow as well. Go figure.
> 
> I want reader input on a thing:  
> Did Mikasa and Eren move to Trost when Eren got into Trost University? Or did they move a year or two before that? I’m leaning towards the latter, but I want to know what you guys think makes sense. I have continuities for both options but I’m curious about your headcanons. Comment here or ping me on Tumblr and let me know what you think!

Eren was brought back to the present when he heard Mikasa enter the kitchen.

“Are you okay? I thought I heard something break.”

“Sorry I woke you up. I dropped a plate when I was drying it.”

“Which is why there’s a dent in the wall over here?”

Silence stretched a moment.

“I’m sorry.” Eren’s voice was soft as he stared at the floor. “I had a nightmare about mom and when I woke up I couldn’t help but think about Grisha and I just got so angry about it. Everything that’s happening right now is probably because of him and I just want everything to stop. I want to research fucking _fish_ , not get caught up in someone else’s stupid war. Trost was supposed to be different.”

Mikasa walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him while his throat felt like it was closing up and his eyes burned. He could feel the wet heat ready to overflow from his eyes. When Mikasa held him tighter he blinked and allowed a few tears to escape; one shuddering breath later he was straightening up and Mikasa was unwrapping her arms.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah.”

_No, not at all._

“Okay. Now are you going to tell me what happened to your face? Because this is the second time you’ve come home with it all fucked up.”

“Yeah, I’d really rather not talk about it.”

“Too bad.” Mikasa’s voice made it clear that she would brook no arguments. “What happened?”

“Levi offered to give me some self-defense lessons; it’s fine.”

“Excuse me!? The midget did that? Is everyone in the Survey Corps going to hurt you? You’ve got more injuries from them than these Titans they’re supposedly protecting you from. What the _fuck_ , Eren?”

Mikasa’s eyes were narrowed and her face was taut with anger. Her fists were balled up and shaking. She would strike a far more terrifying figure if it weren’t for the neck brace and the bed head, but Mikasa being less-scary was still scarier than most people could ever be.

Eren took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts.

“The Survey Corps are rotating watching to make sure that nothing happens to me while you’re out-of-commission since the Titans want me for whatever reason.” He paused a moment and Mikasa nodded in assent. “And apparently Levi is the one who’s going to end up taking a bunch of those shifts... watches? Anyway, he thought that it would be good for me to practice some self-defense to make things a bit easier; just in case something did happen. So he met me after class yesterday – that’s where I was – and we went to one of the other buildings that the Survey Corps apparently owns…”

_How much do I actually want to say?_

“I couldn’t really hit him, he wasn’t doing anything more than blocking my _attempts_ to hit him. I just didn’t want to fight him, it was too weird and I couldn’t help thinking about who he was and it was pretty pitiful. He hit me to get me actually pissed off at him; it worked. I ended up tagging him back after a bit.”

Mikasa tried and failed to hold back a snort of laughter.

“Anyway, I sort of froze up because I hit him a lot harder than I meant to and he got pissed off at me and punched me in the face again.” _Also a kick to my side but she doesn’t need to know that._ “It was really shitty of him, but also I kind of get where he’s coming from? He’s not exactly a warm and fuzzy person and I don’t think he knows how to give constructive criticism. Probably doesn’t even fucking know what it _means_.”

“When I’m okay to take this stupid brace off, I’m going to kill him.”

“Mikasa, please just leave it. I really doubt he’s going to suggest trying to do any self-defense work with me again.”

“Why’s that?” She looked mildly confused. “If he was bitching about it making his job easier and apparently it gives him free reign to beat you up, why don’t you think he’s going to continue with it?”

_Deep breath. Just tell the truth._

“We kind of got into an argument right after.”

“Over what?”

“…uh…” _Fuck it._ “The fact that he punched me in the face when I was standing totally still and not even trying to defend myself.

“That’s pretty fucking valid. Shorty’s so pissed off at you because you argued that he isn’t going to work with you anymore? That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“No, it’s more like we both said some stupid things and now it’s going to be really awkward for a bit. I don’t actually _know_ that he won’t work with me anymore but I can take a pretty solid guess that I’m right.”

“As long as he isn’t blowing off his shifts watching you, I guess it isn’t that much of an issue.”

_No, that’s exactly the issue. I don’t want to be protected like some princess in a tower, I’m sick of this bullshit. Ugh. Levi, did you really need to call me out about my crush when you did?_

“Yeah.” Eren stared into space in the direction of Mikasa’s left shoulder for a moment, still in his own thoughts. “I’m going to have some cereal or something and head to campus. I didn’t get a chance to finish my lab last night and even talking with Armin I couldn’t figure out my thesis topic. Oh fuck, everyone’s going to ask about my face.”

Mikasa pulled him into a gentle hug.

“At least your eyebrow is pretty much healed. Though maybe you could have told everyone that you got mugged and your adviser would give you an extension on your thesis topic. You would have looked even worse with the bandages.”

“I wish. No way is the department going to give me an extension. I need to submit to the IRB.”

“Well, good luck. I’m going to go back to bed. Promise to not hurl around anymore plates?”

“I’ll stick to juice glasses.”

“Please, he isn’t worth you getting upset about. Don’t think about him so much, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

_Tell that to Commander Handsome._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IRB stands for Institutional Review Board. You have to submit all research proposals requiring live subjects to them so that they can evaluate your methods and check for ethical issues with your work (especially if people are involved) and you can't start anything until they grant approval. Dunno about other schools, but at mine the IRB only convened every three months so if you missed a submission deadline you were royally screwed.
> 
> Sorry about the academia acronyms.


	36. Invitation and Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another chapter! Even though I said every-other-day updates from now on. (-_-;)
> 
> Definitely no chapter tomorrow though; I'm going to be helping a friend pack up and move for most of the day.

The post-dawn light combined with the fog of early fall transformed Trost’s campus from a thrumming mass of minds and bodies into a serene and meditative space. Normally, Eren might find the solitude relaxing but today he needed to be with people to distract himself from his own thoughts. He knew that it was still early, but the diner a few blocks off-campus was open twenty-four hours a day and there were always people there. He’d had a bowl of cereal at home but there was no denying that just thinking about blueberry pancakes was making him hungry again. The local diner came with the added bonus of having unlimited refills on coffee and after getting only a few hours of sleep Eren needed the caffeine boost if he was going to be coherent in his morning classes.

Six cups of coffee later, he could barely sit still in class.

He also discovered that his adviser wasn’t on-campus today.

Barring the blueberry pancakes, today wasn’t shaping up to be in his favor.

______

Eren sat in the library flipping through biology journals trying to find some sort of inspiration for his thesis. Thus far he hadn’t found anything feasible that interested him. If he was lucky and found the right adviser he might be able to do deep-ocean field research when he went for his master’s degree, but most likely he wouldn’t be out on the water unless he was a doctoral candidate. He tried to push down those thoughts though; the fact that he was likely facing a further six years of schooling before he could pursue the career that he wanted to depressed him intensely. He was thankful for a minor distraction when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

 **[Hanji:]** What’s the chance that you’re free this evening? Erwin wants to check in with you and Mike is making spaghetti and meatballs.

Eren stared at his phone with his head cocked to the side and his face twisted into mild confusion.

 **[Eren:]** i should be free this evening. is erwin actually going to tell me anything or what? (spaghetti and meatballs sounds amazing, you’re bribing me aren’t you?)

 **[Hanji:]** Of course I’m bribing you! Are you going to be at the labs again tonight? Or will I be picking you up at your apartment?

 **[Eren:]** you really don’t have to pick me up, the bus is just fine.

 **[Hanji:]** Eren, we are legitimately concerned about your safety. We don’t want to chance you getting hurt or kidnapped again.

 **[Eren:]** i'm at the lab until 6, after that i'm home.

 **[Hanji:]** I’ll be out front this time. See you then!

He sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket.

_I am so sick of being treated like this fragile thing to be protected or a damsel in distress. Awkward as things would be with Levi, I really hope that him wanting to make his job easier trumps him wanting to avoid any weirdness between us. Tonight is going to be really awkward if all four of them are there._

_What do I say about my face?_

Eren’s head hit the table he was sitting at harder than he intended and he groaned into his hands at the pain from his bruises and the thought of having to eat dinner with all four members of the Survey Corps. He imagined that it would be something akin to a dysfunctional family’s holiday dinner. He pulled out his phone again to text Mikasa.

 **[Eren:]** survey corps wants me to go over again tonight after i get out of the lab. idk what time i'll be back.

He barely had to wait a moment for Mikasa to reply.

 **[Mikasa:]** seriously? why?

 **[Eren:]** apparently commander handsome wants to update me on things.

 **[Mikasa:]** how are you getting there?

 **[Eren:]** dr. scientist is picking me up.

 **[Mikasa:]** that’s good at least

 **[Eren:]** i guess… it’s kinda annoying.

 **[Mikasa:]** suck it up. i don’t want you getting kidnapped again. and make sure you punch shorty in the face.

 **[Eren:]** no way in hell am i doing that.

 **[Mikasa:]** fine. i'll do it myself when i've got this stupid brace off.

 **[Eren:]** please don’t.

 **[Mikasa:]** nope.

He tucked his phone away for the second time and went back to reading articles that he could barely focus on anymore.

______

If there was one thing that had started haunting him today, it was the fact that if he didn’t come up with a thesis topic of his own he was probably going to end up getting roped into doing his thesis on sticklebacks and the data that he had been collecting for the past year. He had begun to wonder if Hanji had any experience in marine biology and if maybe they would be willing to talk it out with him. It was then that he realized just how desperate he was; asking a mad scientist inventor who probably knew nothing about marine biology to allow him to bounce ideas off of them was the peak of insanity.

He was waiting in the lobby of the bio lab building when he saw and all-too-familiar Honda Civic pull up outside.

_No. no no no no no. Hanji just had to borrow Levi’s car. That’s all. Definitely what happened it’s not like Levi seems like the type of person who would never allow someone else to drive his car or anything._

He watched as a short figure stepped out of the car while pulling a cap low over their face, standing next to the car and looking around at the surrounding area. A few passing students gave him odd looks, likely due to his short stature and the fact that he was wearing a baseball cap in spite of the cloudy weather.

_Okay. Just act like nothing happened because he’s probably going to pretend that nothing ever happened either but still treat me like shit – fucking asshole._

He walked outside and met Levi’s gaze stoically as he turned to face him. Levi gave him a look over and then a curt nod before getting back into the car, Eren followed his lead and threw his bag into the back seat before getting into the car himself.

“Do you always carry that much shit with you?”

“No. I was in the library doing research most of the day. I thought Hanji was supposed to pick me up?”

“Erwin needed them to look into a few things and Mike is doing whatever in the kitchen so here I am.”

They lapsed into silence and Eren fiddled with a loose thread on the cuff of his sweatshirt as they drove on.

“Do you still want to do self-defense lessons or are you still too pissed off at me?”

“Um… yeah. I mean, yeah I’m still game. Also still a bit pissed off at you. You _were_ kind of an ass. I didn’t think you’d want to though, I thought it would be too awkward.”

“Kid,” Levi sighed heavily. “It’s only as awkward as you make it and I’d rather you be able to defend yourself. Just… you need to take it seriously, okay?”

“Fine, sure.”

Eren turned his head to stare out the window, watching the buildings as they passed by. The silence this time was far more relaxed. He realized that he was glad that Levi had showed up with his face obscured again. He assumed that Levi was going to put his mask back on once they reached the Survey Corps headquarters and that suited him just fine. He hadn’t anticipated Levi actually unmasking himself the other day and he felt far more comfortable with that barrier between them right now given everything that had happened. The other day had ended up being so stressful that he honestly couldn’t really remember Levi’s face too well anyway; he figured that was a good thing too. He needed the distance to get over his stupid crush and not being able to see the other man’s face put him far more at ease.

Levi’s tone had a softer quality when he broke the silence a few moments later.

“…I’m sorry I hit you, it was shitty of me. It doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would though, so I guess there’s that.”

Eren’s stomach give a weak flop.

_Okay, maybe not as easy to get over as I thought._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I freaking *love* spaghetti and meatballs, especially my family's recipe for homemade meatballs. Also I just realized that half the people I knew in college drove older Honda Civics, lol. The Civic is pretty much the car of the everyman.


	37. Spaghetti, Silence, Spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry that this took forever. I was stuck with some hellacious writer's block and I was really stressed out about a job interview today. This is short, but I might get another chapter out in the next 6-8 hours. We'll see.
> 
> Eren's little speech towards the end is uh... I'm not a marine biologist (or even a biologist at all) so that's a relatively pop sci understanding of shit. Imma go read some marine bio theses now so that I don't make a complete fool of myself in later chapters in case one of you guys *is* a marine biologist / biologist in general.

“Eren!”

The volume of Hanji’s greeting at the moment he walked through the door made Eren jump back slightly into Levi and he ended up getting propelled into the room by a shove from the man behind him. Stumbling forward he could see that the table that they had sat at the other day had been cleared and was set with a mismatched assortment of plates and utensils. The heavy, heady smell of meatballs and red sauce saturated the air; he could taste dinner before he could even see it. Erwin waved him to come closer.

“We thought that it might be best to eat before talking. Please have a seat, Eren.”

“Thanks.”

Eren sat down in the chair that Erwin had indicated. Since there were five of them but only four sides to the table, he ended up sitting on the side adjacent to Erwin with Levi seated next to him. Hanji was seated at the side adjacent to Levi which meant that Mike would be sitting across from Eren once he came out of the kitchen. Eren couldn’t help but fidget; part of him wanted to scoot a little further away from Levi but the other half didn’t want to get any closer to Erwin. He realized that his discomfort was readable when he noticed Hanji looking at him with a softened expression. Their eyes flicked towards Levi and then back to him and they gave him a sympathetic smile.

_Fuck. Hanji knows._

Part of him wanted to bury his head in his arms but he remained in place.

_It doesn’t look like Erwin knows. Or, if he does he isn’t letting on. Though I guess what does it matter to any them if I have a stupid crush on Levi? All that matters to them is that I stay safe and give them any information that they might need._

Eren perked up when he heard Mike call out asking for assistance bringing food to the table. He was halfway out of his seat when Levi made a sharp cutting motion with his hand and stopped him from getting up. He awkwardly sat back down as Levi got up to help move things out of the kitchen. Hanji gave him another sympathetic smile and Erwin finally looked up from his papers and put them down.

Once the food was on the table everyone began to serve themselves and eat in silence. There was a weird sort of tension in the air and Eren couldn’t figure out if it was simply because he was there or if something else was going on. He watched everyone eating and nearly laughed when he realized that Levi was cutting his spaghetti with a knife so that the pieces were shorter and he didn’t have to slurp them up. Mike and Erwin were relatively neat eaters even without cutting their spaghetti.

But Hanji – Hanji was eating their spaghetti with audible gusto. They weren’t being messy, but they _were_ being loud and he couldn’t help but stare at them ever-so-slightly. Since the other three seemed to be ignoring the noises coming from the other end of the table, Eren resolved to keep to his own meal as well. The silence that hung over the table was almost deafening and continued to weigh on him. He took a long glance around the table and noted that his tablemates didn’t seem to be bothered by the silence; or if they were, they weren’t letting it show.

 _So we’re just going to sit here in silence then... I guess I was wrong, it’s not so much like a dysfunctional family dinner as it is a very silent and awkward one. Am I just supposed to sit here and wait for everyone to finish? Am I expected to start the conversation? Will they think it’s rude if I talk? I don’t really mind that it’s quiet it’s just… eerie. It’s like everyone is thinking about something really big but doesn’t want to share. And I have getting grilled on dad –_ Grisha _to look forward to._

As soon as that thought was let loose on his mind he felt like his stomach had fallen out. He could even imagine the pile of spaghetti and meatballs that would be splattered on the floor by the sudden removal of a portion of his intestines.

_Levi would probably be pissed about cleaning that up._

He let a small grin creep across his face.

_Captain Clean._

 

“Ah, I just realized something!” Hanji’s second outburst was even louder than their earlier greeting. “Eren, you go to Trost and we’ve picked you up from the biology lab building but we have no idea what your major is! Do you work with biomechanical design? Genetic engineering?” Their eyes were lit up and a delighted grin was plastered across their face at the potential for a fellow mad scientist or inventor being seated at the table.

“No, I’m majoring in marine biology.”

“Oh.” Their shoulders slumped a bit. “That’s no fun.”

“Yes it is! It’s really fascinating! Just because I’m not growing robots or mapping genomes or engineering new species or whatever doesn’t mean that marine biology is boring!”

Hanji looked taken aback at his passionate rebuttal but recovered quickly.

“So then what makes it so interesting? Tell me about it.” They were looking at him with an almost proud smile.

“Marine biology is amazing and so worth it because we’ve explored almost none of the ocean and who knows what’s in the deepest parts? There are definitely species that we’ve never encountered before and we can’t just not explore it; there could be something there that cures cancer or eradicates a degenerative disease. They’re already researching the potential for a cure for cancer that could be locked away in shark DNA and how can we just leave that great unknown as uncharted? There are so many things we don’t know, I mean look at the ecosystems surrounding thermal vents and how in the deepest parts of the ocean that we _have_ explored we’ve found life forms that perform photosynthesis _without sun_ , you find ones that live off of the thermal radiation around hydro-thermal vents or metabolize sulfur and – ”

Eren went dead still as though frozen in time.

His eyes sparked and he came to life again.

 

“Holy fuck I figured out my thesis.”


	38. This Heart is a Tetris Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh... idk if I mentioned that I thought I super bombed an interview that I had yesterday but they called me back and I have a job now. I start in about a week and a half so until then I'm going to try and be a busy little bee writing this (and hopefully building up a buffer) since my updates will probably reduce further.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, it's not that long but it's longer than more recent ones.

Hanji was staring at him, seemingly overcome with joy at the fact that they had helped him to reach his epiphany about his thesis. The other three sitting at the table were giving him looks that registered somewhere between bafflement and exasperation. Eren could feel the wide grin tugging at his face and he let it take over. He could see his own grin mirrored on Hanji’s face.

_Science bros._

Eren had already pulled a notebook out of his bag and was starting to scribble out some basic notes when he remembered that he was not only in the middle of eating dinner, he was in the middle of eating dinner with the Survey Corps. He looked up at all of them, an apologetic smile on his face.

“Sorry, I just really don’t want to forget…”

“We deal with Hanji on a regular basis. We’re used to it.” There was a faint smile on Mike’s face and he shook his head slightly.

“And you work with fish and not people so unlike goggles over here, you’re not going to be hounding us for _samples_ – or at least I hope not.” The look that Levi was giving him would have been completely unfathomable a few days ago, but Eren wanted to think that he had been spending enough time around the other man that he could read faint amusement underneath.

“Well maybe you’re hiding something. You’re a mermaid, aren’t you?” He kept his voice light and joking.

It was a shame that the moment he realized that he was starting to be able to read Levi was the moment went that faint trace of amusement was wiped off of his face, reverting back to the blank expression that was his default.

_Oh for fuck’s sake. Is he really going to get pissed off because I called him a mermaid?_

“Ah! That just reminded me! Eren, would you mind me letting me take a blood sample and check your vitals? I’m curious about whether you have elevated cortisol levels. Once we establish that baseline I’d like to have you – “

“Hanji, I’m sure that Eren would be happy to discuss this later, but I think it would be a good idea if we talked about what’s happening with the Titans first.”

“And then you can go back to having a mutual nerdgasm.”

Mike gave a weird cross between a laugh and a snort at Levi’s interjection and tried to cover his widening smile as Hanji shot him an offended look and Eren puffed up indignantly, mouth open and a retort at the ready.

“Enough.”

Erwin didn’t raise his voice by much, but he caught their attention. Levi rolled his eyes at Hanji as they settled back and Eren shrunk down sheepishly and focused intently on the sauce-covered plate in front of him.

“Now, I wanted to go over what happened with your father.” Erwin’s eyes skimmed over Eren’s face, watching his jaw clench. “We can go over what we know with you and maybe you can help us fill in the gaps, perhaps even jog your memory if there are things that you’ve forgotten.”

 _Yeah, well there are a lot of things I’d fucking_ prefer _to forget._

He could feel his nails biting deep into the flesh of his palms as his fists clenched. Erwin and Hanji began to collect dishes and bring them back into the kitchen while Mike sat back and closed his eyes, exhaling contentedly. Levi had taken out his phone and was fiddling with it. Eren wasn’t _trying_ to look at what Levi has doing, but he caught a glimpse of the screen and saw that he was playing Tetris. Part of him wanted to laugh, but the half that was more concerned with self-preservation held it in and turned it into a little smirk at Levi while his back was turned to him.

With Erwin and Hanji returned and the table cleared they all sat down to talk. While everyone else looked relaxed and indolent after their heavy meal, Eren felt himself getting more and more keyed up waiting for the inevitable conversation about his father. He could hear the haptic feedback from Levi’s phone as he tapped away playing Tetris, but that seemed to be the only movement at the table in that brief moment. He gritted his teeth and anticipating someone else starting the conversation. He wasn’t disappointed when Erwin picked it up again a moment later.

 

“Eren, before we start talking about anything particularly specific I’d like to start simply with you confirming or denying the information that we have gathered. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes.” Eren spat out the syllable with disgust.

“Alright. Your father is named Grisha Jaeger, correct?”

“What the…? Yes, it’s his name.”

“He was a doctor? We have here that he worked as both a part of a research team developing more stable vaccine serums for easier shipping and storage as well as a doctor in Shiganshina.”

“A doctor in _South Stationary_. There’s a difference.” Erwin was giving him an odd but thoughtful look now.

“But he worked in a lab as well?”

“Yeah, but he was barely working there by the time he left.”

“Do you remember the name of the research group that he worked with?”

“No.” Erwin’s face tipped into a frown and he looked down at the papers next to him. “I think the name started with a C though… Carlisle? Carver? I’m pretty sure there was an R in it too. Sorry, I really don’t remember that well. Actually... I don’t think he was even still working there when he left us.” He kept his tone level. Erwin was undoubtedly going to go probing at _that_ but he wasn’t going to let it in any sooner than he had to. He tipped his head forward and pressed his hands up to his face.

“I see… I understand that you don’t want to talk about this, but we need to know a little more about the circumstances under which he disappeared.”

Eren’s head jerked up violently and his jaw muscles twitched as he clenched his teeth together. He knew that his glare was nothing short of murderous, but to hear _that_ again…

“He didn’t fucking disappear. He _left_.” That familiar feeling of cold nausea and heated fury rose up like bile at the back of his throat, drowning him in the acrid and acidic taste of long-simmering anger.

“Eren. We’re just trying to – ”

“No. He fucking left to go to _work_ ” he created physical care quotes around the word with his fingers, “on a Saturday morning and when my mom started to clean that afternoon she found a bunch of his clothes and personal shit missing; his files, his medical licenses, some of his reference books. You know what he didn’t take? Photos of our family. He didn’t fucking disappear.”

He could feel himself shaking and worked to calm down and bring his breathing back under control. He couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to play Tetris with his own heart. This emotion fit here but not there and if you put the wrong piece in the right place everything would get messed up and impossible to fix. Everything was jumbled and the pieces that he needed to get some closure just weren’t there for him and he didn’t know that they ever would be. And if he was going to have to go around reliving all of these memories for however long, he didn’t know how he was going to come out on the other side.

Eren focused on the table and on his hand gripping the edge of the table to the point where he would swear he could feel the wood giving way under his hand. He could see a vein on his hand pulsing rhythmically and focused on it, the metronomic pull of his pulse slowly hypnotized him and he allowed the fury to rush out of himself. He imagined that he could see it pulling away from him like the tide lapping at a person’s feet. As the volatile flares began to die back down into the constant simmer he heard someone standing up.

“Well, while the brat gets himself back under control I’m going to grab something to drink. Any requests?”

Occupied by his own thoughts, Eren didn’t really pay much mind to the murmured drink requests around him. He barely registered Levi’s repeated question. He didn’t really think before answering.

“Handle of vodka would be nice.”

He heard Mike snort and saw Hanji shake their head out of the corner of his eye. He couldn’t see Levi, but he could see that Erwin was slightly frustrated, though at him or Levi’s abrupt decision to get up he couldn’t tell. He listened to the faint click of heels as Levi pivoted and continued on to the kitchen. He continued to try and push out the rest of his anger and anxiety in the half-calm as they waited for drinks.

“Sorry… this isn’t exactly the easiest topic for me.”

Eren could feel three sets of eyes fixed firmly on him and squirmed uncomfortably under their scrutiny. The sound of Levi returning dissipated some of the discomfort as gazes and poses had to be broken in order to accept drinks.

Levi had a glass of water, but the other three each had a bottle of beer. Eren looked down at the glass placed in front of him – _milk_.

“Drink up, brat.” He could see the barely-restrained smiles on their faces and the sly smirk playing across Levi's lips. Hanji and Mike gestured at one another with their bottles and drank.

_You fucking asshole, Levi._

He grabbed the glass viciously with the intent of downing it all in one go just to be rid of it.

“Careful.” Levi’s voice was firm, but soft enough not to carry beyond the two of them.

_Oh fuck you._

The pause in his motions that Levi’s voice had caused ended up saving him from certain death.

 

It wasn’t milk.

He wasn’t sure it could even be called a White Russian when he was fairly certain that it was half vodka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and in case this matters to you, a "handle" of liquor is usually 0.5 gallons or ~2 liters (usually more like 1.75L)


	39. Hazy Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this a bit later than I wanted because I keep forgetting that I promised to go to things (like my friend's sister's graduation) weeks and weeks ago and not having ample time to work on this.
> 
> [Deleting this question later: I'm gonna write the ereri pin-up model AU (as a one-shot) and idk if I want to genderswap one, both or neither of them for it. Ping me on Tumblr with any thoughts.]

There were two things that Eren was appreciative of in this moment; the first was that Levi had made him pause before he chugged the entire glass of “milk” and the second was that he had a very good poker face when it came to hard liquor. He was convinced that Levi must be at least _smiling_ at the predicament that he had just put Eren in. Yes, Levi had honored his request for a handle of vodka to a certain degree but he had also given him a large quantity of alcohol disguised as an innocent and innocuous beverage when he had to have a Very Serious Conversation with Erwin and the rest of the Survey Corps. He couldn’t think of anything more mortifying than going on a slurred rant about how much of an asshole Grisha was and how much it had messed up his life for a while and how he had only recently really come to terms with it.

Then again, Levi’s motivation might have been – not innocent – but some sort of misguided attempt to make him more comfortable. A bit of liquid courage to get him through an emotionally taxing conversation. He would have been more appreciative if his drink wasn’t half vodka. And not particularly good vodka either.

“Eren, do you think you’re calm enough to talk about your father again?” Erwin kept his voice gentle.

“Could you just call him Grisha?” Eren tried not to sound too snappish about it, but he knew that it still came out a bit harsher than he had intended.

“Of course, if that’s what you prefer… I’d like to ask if there’s anything else that you remember around the time he left. Not the day of, but the days leading up to it.”

_How many fucking times have I turned that one over? So many stupid little things that probably mean nothing or everything. Who knows?_

“I guess he was going to his office a bit more than usual the weeks before. My mom was pissed that he was leaving again because it was a Saturday and he hadn’t come home until almost 10pm the night before. He was supposed to be home by dinner but… clearly that never happened.” He followed it up by taking a long drink from his glass, keeping a straight face as the vodka set fire to his throat.

“Kid, you’re going to need to be a bit more specific than that.” Eren whipped his head around to glare at Levi.

“I’m sorry my head is getting a little bit _fuzzy_ right now.” He glared at Levi even harder. “Also it was a long time ago.”

“Well why don’t you try a little bit harder because if we don’t figure this shit out either we’re going to be tailing you or you’re going to be looking over your shoulder for who knows how long. And honestly, I’ve got better things to do at night than sit on a roof and make sure that your dumb ass doesn’t get kidnapped.”

“Levi.” Erwin’s tone carried a warning and Levi shut his mouth tightly, his lips drawing into a thin line. “Eren, anything that you remember, any detail – no matter how trivial – could be useful to us. Please don’t spare anything. We want to get this cleared up and have your life back to normal as soon as we can.”

 _As normal as it ever is. How about actually normal? I’d like that for once. No threat of being kidnapped, no superheroes, no supervillains. None of it. But that’s not really possible is it? What the fuck_ is _normal for me anymore?_

“Like I said, I don’t remember a ton. But I’ll try and see what I can remember.”

“Shall we begin again? It doesn’t matter if it’s necessarily chronological. We can try to piece it together later.”

“Okay. So…” Eren shut his eyes tight trying to recall things and felt memories slipping past. It was like cupping water in his hands to see his reflection, the memories in his hands were pouring through his fingers before he could get a clear look at them. He cast his mind out and started talking, hoping that memories would start to reconstitute themselves as he went.

“…So he was going to the office more but he was also doing more house calls. Which like, good for him he went to the people who needed him but it was like he gave more of a shit about his patients than his family sometimes. I guess it was weird because a lot of people got some pig flu thing a few months before so he was doing a lot of work then but everyone was okay again but he was going out a lot. I didn’t understand it. I don’t think mom did either. The day he left he said I could go to work with him the next day but he was lying because everything was packed and he was gone. Mom asked Hannes if Grisha owed anyone money but he said no so he didn’t leave because of money. I was so mad at him then but I wish Hannes… Anyway he got back late the night before he left and I heard him and mom fighting and it woke me up. I couldn’t really understand what they were fighting about.”

Eren brought his hands up to massage his temples as he tried to remember but everything was fuzzy with time and it was like everything was slightly duller and dream-like, he couldn’t control every small motion but he could feel every single one of them.

_Hmm, it’s nice and warm. This honestly isn’t as bad as I thought. I guess just letting things go and rambling helps._

Eren felt lulled into the haze for a moment. He went to pick up his glass when it suddenly hit him.

_Fuck. Everything’s already getting really fuzzy and not only did I pretty much finish it, I only started this about twenty minutes ago. I’m going to get slammed any minute now. Fuck you, Levi._

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” He caught himself on the verge of slurring and made sure to enunciate as clearly as possible as he continued, “it’s just that it was so long ago. Is it okay if I take a day to try and remember things and write it down? I’m getting tired. I had a long day.”

Erwin sighed and nodded.

“Don’t hesitate to text Hanji or Levi if you remember something. Either of them,” he looked pointedly at Levi, “would be happy to meet with you to talk and forward along what you remember.”

“Right. I’ll do that. Yeahhhhh.”

_I just need to get up and leave and go and I can just crawl into bed and sleep it off._

“Come on, brat. Let’s get going.”

Eren felt Levi grab his collar and haul him up out of his seat. He had a brief moment of clarity in which he remembered to grab his school bag as he was half-dragged to the door.

Mike pulled out his phone as the two of them left through the door.

 

 **[Mike:]** Levi, how much alcohol did you give him?

 **[Levi:]** How the hell was I supposed to know he’d down the whole thing that fast? Fucking college kids.


	40. Laughter and Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooooo, have some more of Eren's back story and the beginning of Levi's. Also some nice Eren-Levi interaction that isn't a shit show.
> 
> I joked around yesterday that I was too lazy to write this chapter and would someone else write it for me. Well, I got a submission from stuffonmymind12 that actually got like, 95% of this chapter's plot right and I don't know how I feel about that. Is the plot that predictable? Is it too predictable? Is it okay that it's predictable? Am I a super lame writer because it's predictable? Or is what happens in this chapter just a very organic expectation?
> 
> Also I'm not sure how I feel about my characterization of Levi in this chapter. I'm concerned that he's a bit OOC but I'm not entirely sure since we never really get any interaction between the two of them like this in the manga (and definitely not from Levi's POV). I'm questioning the wisdom of writing this from Levi's POV but also it makes more sense than writing from Eren's. Idk, I'm really ambivalent about this chapter. 
> 
> Okay... posting this before I have second thoughts!

“Oi, brat. Do you know how to get in a car?”

“Yeahhhhhhhh.”

“So fucking do it.”

Levi watched to make sure that Eren was fully in the car before getting in himself. He silently cursed himself for thinking that it would be a good idea to give the kid as much alcohol as he did. He had hoped that it would just loosen the kid up so that he didn’t look like he was going to kill someone every time his father was brought up. What he hadn’t expected was for him to down the entire glass in twenty minutes. He watched Eren out of the corner of his eye as he drove, watching the passing lights flash by and alternate between illuminating a silhouette and a statue in drunken repose. Levi didn’t see Eren flop towards him as they passed through the darkness between streetlights, but when he did notice their increased proximity and Eren’s intent gaze he shifted uncomfortably.

_Please don’t do this, kid. Please don’t do this to yourself and please don’t put me in this position. I don’t fucking need this bullshit._

“I swear to fucking Christ, I know you’re drunk but if you hit on me I will kick your ass again.”

“Thought you said you were sorry about that.” Eren was mumbling but thankfully not at the point where he was slurring.

“I am.” Levi glanced over at Eren and frowned at the bruises. “Give me a better way to get it through your thick head that I’m not interested.”

“Not really into sounding…” Now he was starting to slur his words a little bit.

There was a momentary pause of silence before Levi burst out laughing. He stopped the car at a stop sign and stayed there until his laughter had died out. As he turned his head to wipe the tears away from his eyes he caught Eren staring at him, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

“Holy fuck. You can laugh.” Levi’s face resumed its usual neutral expression.

“Is that really so surprising?” His voice was soft as he began to drive again.

“Not really, but also yeah because… dunno. Surprised I made you laugh. Was a bad joke.”

“It was god awful.”

“But you still laughed.”

“Yes. We established that already.”

“It was nice.”

“What did I say about hitting on me?”

“No, ‘m not hitting on you. Just saying it’s nice. You always seem sad or serious or something.”

“Well you always look like you’re either ready to die from embarrassment or punch someone.”

“Mm… ‘s actually pretty good explanation of me.”

“Explanation, huh?”

“Shut up. Y’know what I meant.”

Levi drove onwards and allowed the quiet hum of the car fill the silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence the way that so many had been. It was calm. There was no awkwardness; the sniping had been perfectly innocent and devoid of tension regardless of Levi’s concern over Eren’s feelings towards him.

_He’s not that bad of a kid really, even with all that emotional weirdness he’s got going on…_

Levi’s brow furrowed as looked forward and continued to drive.

“Hey kid? Still conscious?”

“ _Eren_. And yeah, no thanks t’you.”

“Well _kid_ , I have a question for you. Why the fuck are you so angry?”

“Think I mentioned earlier that my dad left. Or did you fucking miss that?” Eren was glaring at him now.

“No, I got that loud and clear. It’s just… no, I guess it’s not angry.”

He took in a deep breath.

“You seem really fucked up and I’m curious.”

Eren gaped at him before his features twisted into tense anger.

“What the _fuck_ , Levi?” His words were clear and annunciated and Levi winced.

_Shit, here’s to hoping he’s drunk enough that he doesn’t remember that in the morning._

Now the silence was tense and they came to a stop in some traffic stopped at a light. A moment passed and then another and they sat at a standstill.

“We on Washington?” Eren’s voice was back to its light slurring as he slumped back into his seat.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Bus got re-routed because there’s construction on it all week. Should’ve taken River.”

“You’re shitting me, right?”

“Nope.”

“ _Fuck._ ”

“Yep.”

They lapsed back into silence as they sat at a standstill, moving a foot or two every few minutes as the traffic crawled along. Eren seemed to have fallen asleep and Levi was grateful for the peace it offered him. He tried to focus on inching forward and staying as close as possible to the car in front of him as other cars tried to merge into their lane.

“I’m from South Stationary. Erwin probably mentioned that, yeah?” Levi was taken aback at Eren’s sudden return to semi-consciousness.

“Mm.”

“Also lived in Maria Wall until… well, I don’t know how much news traveled outside of Shiganshina.”

_Holy fuck._

“My mom died in the... Couldn’t lift the things, Mikasa’s powers weren’t reliable yet.” He took a shuddering breath and exhaled. “There was… there was a lot of fire, so much fire and Hannes grabbed us. We lived with him after but before things went completely to shit. We moved to Trost five years ago. Just me an’ Mikasa… my sister… Red Scarf. Whatever.”

 _Holy_ fuck _, kid._

“Didn’t graduate, got a GED instead.”

_That’s… not what I expected. I knew that being from South Stationary meant he would have to have dealt with the Stationary Guard, but his mom died in Maria Wall and he was right there? Jesus._

“That’s...” _fucked up? I’m sorry? What the hell does anyone say to that?_

“So that’s why I’m fucked up.”

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I didn’t have to answer. Pretty fucking hammered now so dunno if I’ll remember tomorrow.” He slumped back again and the traffic continued on with them inching ever-so-slightly forward every few minutes. Half an hour later they had come out on the other side of the traffic and continued on.

Levi’s knuckles were white as he relaxed and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

_Tit for tat._

Inhale. Exhale.

 

“I grew up in the Underground.”

Eren jerked up in surprise, eyes wide in shock. He leaned forward and clapped a hand to his mouth, nauseous at the sudden movement.

“Don’t fucking throw up in the car, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhh... if you don't know what sounding is, go Google it and it should actually be the first hit.
> 
> GED: General Equivalency Diploma. It's a test that you can take (at least in the US) that proves you have completed the equivalent of high school -level coursework even if you haven't formally completed high school. In theory it doesn't impact whether or not you get into college. _In theory._ It really depends on the school.
> 
> Basically the timeline point is that Eren and Mikasa left Shiganshina and moved to Trost a year before Eren would have finished high school and he didn't return to school and got his GED instead. I don't think I ever clarified this but Mikasa is a year older than Eren so she did formally finish school. 
> 
> Take a guess as to whether or not this is plot relevant...


	41. Extending the (Drunken) Hand of Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue is not a strength of mine so hopefully this works alright. I don't know why I wrote what is essentially a dialogue-only chapter when I don't really do dialogue. But whatever.
> 
> I'm going back and editing some of the earlier chapters for continuity stuff. Nothing that you'll need to go back and look at, it's just things like formatting and capitalization and that apparently for the first six chapters I alternated between calling them "the Titans" and just "titan" or "members of titan" which was really weird. So yeah, some sentences might be getting re-written to accommodate the fact that I need to go back and replace things with "the Titans" but nothing too major.
> 
> The only big one is that (and I'm still freaking looking for it) I said at some point that both Hanji and Levi were from Trost which is untrue; Levi is from the Underground which is not in Trost and I am hunting around this entire damn thing looking for that one sentence right now.
> 
> Oh and an additional note: All stupid-ass grammatical and whatever errors in Eren's dialogue are completely intentional; kid's drunk right now.

“So you’re from the Underground?” Eren was mumbling past his hand as a second wave of nausea hit him.

“Yes. If you throw up in this car you’re dead.”

“It’s your fault. You’re the one who made me a drink that was half vodka. And shitty vodka too.”

“Hanji isn’t known for being picky about their alcohol.”

“Couldn’t have just got me a beer like everyone else?” He leaned his body back into the seat and his hands drifted up from his mouth to cover his eyes.

“Erwin wouldn’t have been happy. He might know already though. Mike could smell it and who knows if he’s going to mention it or not.”

“Mm.” Eren let his hands fall away. “Hey, you volunteered infom – _information_ – that you’re from the Underground and you’re not going to tell me shit?”

“You told me something, I told you something.”

“I fucking told you the sparkle notes of my life before I moved here. You need to give me more.”

“Spark Notes, even?”

“What?” Eren’s face was one of confusion before it resolved into frustration. “Fuck you, I’m drunk and it’s your fault.” The flare of anger made him slur the words badly.

“I didn’t tell you to down what was probably about four shots in under twenty minutes.”

“…what made you put that much alcohol in?”

“Like I said, I didn’t think you’d down it in _twenty fucking minutes_.”

A pause in conversation.

“You’re avoiding talking about it. You’re really good at that.”

“Fucking hell, kid. I didn’t have to tell you and that’s all I’m telling you so drop it.”

“Can’t just say a thing and expect me to drop it.”

“Congratulations, you’re a persistent little shit about everything. _Drop. It._ ”

“No.” Eren’s face became increasingly tense as his frustration mounted. “You brought it up. You’re the one wanted t’say something.”

Levi was glaring at him and Eren suddenly became very worried. They were in a car. And Levi had been glaring directly at him for a full minute.

“Levi, shouldn’t you be looking at the road?”

“Brat, we’ve been stopped in front of your building for almost a full five minutes now.”

“Wow that’s, um yeah…” Eren shuffled in his seat awkwardly, trying not to lose his balance and fall over as he pulled his bag out from under his feet. He paused once he had finally laid hands on the strap. “Really not going to say anything besides that?”

“No.”

“Gonna ask Hanji. They’d tell me.”

“Hanji isn’t going to tell you shit.”

“Then I’ll find someone else!” Even Eren cringed at the sudden rise in the volume of his voice.

“There _isn’t_ anyone else.” Levi had intended for his tone to be sharp, to make it clear that this was the end of the discussion. Instead it came out as a guttural snarl. Eren had curled back again and was looking at him with an expression that Levi didn’t like.

“So um… no one else?” Eren’s expression was oddly glazed as he tried to handle having a serious conversation while drunk.

“No.”

“Where are –”

“Dead.”

“Are you…”

“Am I what? Please tell me you weren’t going to ask if I’m okay or if I need a hug or some other touchy-feely bullshit. I made peace with my life years ago.”

“Right.” Levi watched him as he began to shuffle uncomfortably in his seat again.

“Whatever shitty thing you’re thinking right now, just spit it out.”

Eren swallowed and opened and closed his mouth experimentally a few times as though hoping the words would just fall out themselves.

“I wanna be your friend.”

“What the fuck did I say about hitting on me?”

“Not hitting on you, just wanna be friends ‘s all.” Even Eren could acknowledge that he sounded like a petulant child as he said it.

“And why the hell would you want that? In case you haven’t noticed I don’t like people very much and I’m abrasive, sarcastic and rude.”

“Yeah, but you aren’t a bad person.”

“You really, really don’t know that and you really should go inside because I want to settle in.”

“Huh?” Eren blinked a few times and looked at Levi with a confused expression.

“You look even more dimwitted than usual.”

“Fuck off. Where do you have to settle?”

“Hanji and I are rotating shadowing you… or did you forget that there’s more than one pack of lunatics looking to kidnap you?”

“Right, I’m just… fuzzy a bit at the moment.”

“I was going to make fun of you there, but at this point it would be like stealing from a blind man.”

“I’m drunk.”

“I know.”

“Is your fucking fault.”

“Only a little.”

“So where are you settling in?”

“Usual spot, protected bit of roof with a good view across the street.”

“So do you actually have hawk powers then or something? Nesting instincts?”

“Get the fuck out of the car, go upstairs and make sure you get some sleep. Make my life easier for once.”

“That’s the closest to ‘sweet dreams’ gonna get isn’t it? And you sounded like a grump not angry.”

“Go the fuck to sleep, kid.”

“You should just come inside. Warmer ‘n shit.”

“ _You_ are drunk and dead on your feet and _I_ am not dealing with any of your bullshit.” Levi looked at Eren, he had an air of mild dejection hanging over him.

“Warmer inside… not hitting on you, being a friend.” Eren had his head tucked down now and was mumbling into his chest.

“I never said you were hitting on me so I don’t know where you got that from unless you _are_ making an abysmally poor attempt at hitting on me.” A hit of a smirk played on his lips.

“Stop being an ass, Levi.” Eren’s attempt at a glare ended up as a childish pout and Levi’s smirk became more pronounced.

“Making that face isn’t going to get you anywhere you know.”

“Trying t’be nice is all.”

“And I’m trying to avoid having to haul your ass upstairs and potentially getting thrown up on in the process. Get out; sleep, sober up, whatever.”

“Fine. Coming up at some point though.”

Levi attempted to wait patiently for Eren to get out of the car, but after a full minute of fiddling with the door Eren couldn’t seem to get it open. Levi groaned and opened up his own door to step out and open the passenger side one. Eren barely caught himself as he clumsily toppled sideways out of the door.

“All the grace of a beached whale.”

“Hey! We already said it that ‘m drunk an’ it’s your fault.”

“Kid, you’ve got ten seconds to get through that door or I’m dumping your body in the river.”

“Okay, ‘kay… put your hand up.”

“I’m not fucking –”

“Up!” Eren’s command was forceful and Levi decided to humor him in his drunken state and lifted his right hand so that it was level with his shoulder. Eren gave him what he assumed was an attempt at a high-five but which ended up being more like an attempt to swat Levi’s hand away in the most half-assed way possible.

“Congratulations, that was the shittiest high-five I’ve ever seen. I’m going to leave before you decide you want to hug me.”

“Would you let me?” His face was a pure expression of drunken eagerness.

“Fuck no.” Eren went back to pouting and Levi couldn’t hold back the soft smile at the comically exaggerated expression that Eren was attempting to pull off.

“Fine… g’night Levi.”

“Night, brat.”

Levi got back into the car and watched Eren let himself into the building before driving to park the car a few blocks away and doubling back by rooftop. He settled into the position that he had found a few nights ago that afforded a good view of the building and the surrounding area.

_Friends, huh? What a fucking weird kid._


	42. Silhouette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this isn't too weird as a mixed perspective, but it also makes far more sense to do it as mixed-perspective than two separate chapters since that would just kill all of the momentum. So yeah, I wrote the majority of this long hand during my lunch break during my pre-cert course today and who knows, maybe I'll do the same tomorrow and the next day.
> 
> Anyway, I'm tired and the narrative formatting is a bit odd so hopefully it isn't too confusing.
> 
> Oh! I think I'm done with my continuity edits now. I still can't find the line about Levi being from Trost so that might have actually been in an earlier draft of a chapter and it got scrapped before it even got posted here. So yeah, you can ignore all that unless you find that line in which case _please tell me so that I can fix it._

Eren stumbled up the stairs praying that Mikasa was in bed early again. Unfortunately, luck was not on Eren’s side; Mikasa was on the couch watching television when he entered.

“So how did meeting with the Survey Corps go? Did you kick shorty’s ass?”

“It was uh… okay.” He put as much effort as was possible into enunciating each word clearly and staying completely steady on his feet. His sense of balance, however, was uncooperative and he stumbled slightly as he accidentally shifted his weight to one side. Mikasa picked up on it immediately and her eyes narrowed into a glare.

“Are you _drunk_?”

“Mayyyyyybe a little yeah.”

“Can I ask _why_ you’re drunk?”

“I had few drinks while I was out.”

“Are you serious? That’s not a reason.”

“I was really stressed out because Captain fucking Hands decided that maybe Grisha _disappeared_ instead of leaving and bullshit. I’m sick hearing that shit just… people turning him into the victim.”

“So you got completely wasted because of that?”

“It was my fault also it wasn’t”

“How the hell is it your fault and _not_ your fault?”

“Levi makes strong drinks like him and yeah I kinda drank the thing in about twenty minutes.”

“I can’t fucking believe you, Eren. I’m going to kick his ass twice as hard now and you can enjoy your hangover tomorrow and know that I will have zero sympathy.”

“Shit, I have class tomorrow morning.”

“Well then you should probably go sleep right now. And don’t forget to drink some water. I don’t want to have to listen to you bitch and moan tomorrow. I’m in enough of bad mood anyway since I’ve been stuck at home.”

“Yeahhhhhh… gonna sleep now night.”

“And _drink some water_.”

“Yeah yeah.”

Eren stumbled to the kitchen; no longer keeping the pretense of sobriety he allowed himself to run his hand along the wall and counters for balance as he made his way to the sink. He did something of a shuffle of shame back to his room, avoiding Mikasa’s glare as he moved along. Once he was in the privacy of his own room he placed his water on the table and threw his bag on the bed before flopping down himself. It was only when he was already partially under the blankets that he realized that the light was still on and the switch was across the room. He pulled a pillow over his head and rolled over to avoid the light. He was starting to drift off when he felt his phone vibrate in his bag that he had forgotten to move off the bed. Moving the pillow aside he began blindly fumbling with his bag to find his phone and sat up to look at the message he had received.

______

Levi sat on the rooftop watching the building when he saw a slight shift in the shadows of the side alley. That it was a person was confirmed when he saw their silhouette as a light went on in Mikasa and Eren’s apartment. Levi kept his eye on the area where the shadowy figure had retreated to as he pulled out his phone and began to tap out a message.

______

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Are you in the room with the light turned on?

 **[Eren:]** ye truong tp sllp

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** No idea what you just said. Go to the window and look out. Make sure you’re visible from outside.

Eren pushed himself up and slowly stumbled his way across the room and over to the window. He pulled up the blinds and pulled his phone close to his face so he could focus on the letters.

 **[Eren:]** the fuck soing.  Wang to bellepf

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Stay there.

He grumbled to himself and leaned against the window frame to steady himself. He touched his forehead to the glass and enjoyed the press of cool glass against alcohol-flushed skin. Lazy drunk eyes caught a flutter of motion in the alley below.

_Why the hell am I at the window? …he’s using me as fucking bait for some creep, isn’t he?_

______

Levi stared at his phone at the most recent message.

 **[Brat:]** ye truong tp sllp

_What the fuck does that even mean? I guess “ye” is yes… I’m just going to assume that’s a yes._

**[Levi:]** No idea what you just said. Go to the window and look out. Make sure you’re visible from outside.

He watched for movement near the window, waiting to see whether or not Eren actually was in that room. He felt his phone buzz again and felt a small twinge of frustration as he had to take his eye off of the alley for a moment to read the message.

 **[Brat:]** the fuck soing. Wang to bellepf.

_Good, the brat can text curses just fine while drunk but apparently he can’t make a single word besides that completely intelligible. At least he’s very good at being the idiotic potential target._

**[Levi:]** Stay there.

He saw the slight movement in the darkness as the unknown person came out into a more well-lit area in the alley. He saw Eren leaning half-dazed on the window and was momentarily thankful that Eren was drunk since it definitely was encouraging whoever had been hiding in the shadows below to come out further than they might have otherwise.

______

Even as Eren stared down with uneven eyes he saw the silhouette of a person come into a brighter patch of the alley to look up at them. He gave them a short goofy wave and saw the figure go momentarily stiff and then collapse. Eren’s eyes flew fully open and came to clear focus on the body in the alley below.

______

Levi pulled out the tranquilizer gun that he had with him and took aim. His target was still partially turned towards him and he was forced to keep low and take a position with a less direct line of sight. He watched as Eren drunkenly waved with a goofy smile on his face and caught the attention of the person below his window.

_Thank you, kid._

He pulled the trigger.

______

He stared down at the body splayed out in the alley below with wide eyes and tried to make sense of what had just happened while he stood right at the window.

 **[Eren:]** sid you ducking shooft hkm? !!

A moment passed by.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Congratulations. I actually understood that.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Only a tranquilizer. Picking him up in a moment. Go to sleep kid.

 **[Eren:]** wat

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** We’ll talk in the morning. Drink some water so you’re not a fucking hungover mess tomorrow.

 **[Eren:]** fck you lecvi zim fibe

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Water. Sleep.

Eren stayed at the window waiting to see Levi come to claim the body below. He watched as Levi slipped into the alley and hoisted the other person onto his back like they barely weighed anything. If he’d been sober he would have tried to dodge away from the window when Levi looked up, but instead he goofily waved out his window again. For a moment he thought Levi was waving back at him and his stomach gave a lurch unrelated to the effects of alcohol.

_Nope. He’s flipping me off. That fucker._


	43. The Second Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well lookee here, 1700+ words! I actually had the material to have this go longer but _pacing_ and also I didn't want this chapter to be outlandishly longer than the chapters prior to it.
> 
> So yeah, hella plot shit and the next chapter should be pretty plot heavy as well. Enjoy.

Levi was forced to stop again to shift the dead weight of the man slung across his back into a more comfortable position. He was loathe to admit it but it wasn’t the man’s weight that was an issue, it was that he was too short to carry the man comfortably. He grit his teeth and shifted the man again, feeling his captive’s head hit the wall next to him as he shifted him and making a mental note to check that he hadn’t done any serious damage once they were back at the car. And that was the other source of his current frustration; the fact that he had parked the Survey Corps’ car many blocks away in an effort to cloak his presence on that night rather than parking closer than he had the night before. He mused that it might have paid off and that’s why he was carrying a small giant on his back, but at the same time the walk was truly hell. Grapple gear could handle two people if you knew what you were doing – and he did – but if one party was unconscious it was impossible regardless of how good you were.

When he finally reached the car he threw his captive bodily into the back seat, hearing a clunking noise as the man’s head hit the door on the other side. He checked the zip tie restraints before getting into the car himself and driving away. He pulled out his phone; ignoring the unread message for the time being he called ahead to their headquarters in order to inform them that he had Eren’s shadow in his custody. His only hope was that this was the only shadow out there tonight.

“Mike, is Erwin still around? … Okay well pass the message along that I have Eren’s shadow – hopefully his only shadow – with me and I’m coming back… No, he’s unmarked. We’ll have to ask when he comes to… Tranquilizer gun, I think we have about forty-five minutes until it wears off… Yeah, probably about thirty… He’s not bad, not good either… We’ll talk more when I’m back… Okay yeah, just let Erwin know.”

Levi ended the call and continued to drive, detouring back towards Eren and Mikasa’s building to do a quick scan of the area. Seeing nothing that caught his attention he continued back to headquarters making sure that he took River this time instead of Washington.

 

“Oi, I have a small giant in the back seat of the car. I already had to get him into the car, somebody else get him out.”

“Is he still out cold?”

“He was as of two minutes ago when I got out of the car.” Mike nodded and walked outside.

“You’re too short to carry him aren’t you?”

“Shut it, shitty goggles.”

“Did you drag him to the car?”

“No.”

“So how did you do it?”

“I could carry him just fucking fine. He’s just freakishly tall and so he’s awkward to carry.”

“And freakishly tall is what? Five foot six?”

“ _Hanji._ I swear to fucking god I am not up for this right now.”

“…You’re in a mood, aren’t you?”

“I had to carry a man who was nearly six feet tall three blocks to the car after dealing with a drunk brat.”

“That last one is entirely your fault.”

“Doesn’t make it any less frustrating.”

“Doesn’t make it any less your fault.”

“Fine. In a misguided attempt at helping him to not look like he was going to murder the next person who said ‘Grisha Jaeger’ I got him drunk and I made myself miserable. Karma’s a bitch.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Hanji smiled at Levi while he stood with his arms crossed and glared half-heartedly back at them. They turned as they heard the door open as Mike carried in the still-unconscious man. Unlike when Levi was carrying him, there was no way that his head was going to hit the ground or get bumped into a wall. He walked across the room and through a door on the far side of the room along the same wall as the kitchen. Footsteps could be heard descending the stairs.

“Is Erwin there already?”

“Yeah, I’m about to head down with the antidote. I’m not planning on sticking around but I’m pretty sure that Erwin wants you there. Intimidation factor and all that.”

“Right, because I just love standing there and glaring.”

“You’d be doing the exact same thing except sitting if you were up here waiting for Erwin to finish questioning him. Don’t even try to deny it.”

Levi grunted and followed Hanji downstairs and they brushed past Mike who was already heading back up.

 

Erwin sat on a chair staring at the man in the holding cell. Levi took his customary position leaning up against the wall to Erwin’s left. It was a tableau that they had set many times before. Levi hated being down in the area with the holding cell, it wasn’t cleaned as often or as well as he liked and it was somewhat claustrophobic in spite of the ceilings being at such a height that Mike was perfectly comfortable walking around, never mind Levi. He usually chalked it up to the lack of windows, even though he knew that the claustrophobia that he felt had little to do with a lack of fresh air or natural light. He was simply here to go through the motions of playing the role of the attack dog on a short leash.

Sit back, bare teeth, growl; it was a well-rehearsed routine. The only variable was the other person’s responses.

Once Hanji administered the injection to clear out the tranquilizer they left back up the stairs. The door closed with a thud of finality. No escape in a basement room with an unknown almost-assailant-almost-kidnapper. The man on the other side of the bars sat up and rubbed at his eyes harshly before looking up at them and blinking repeatedly. Upon fully opening his eyes he realized who was sitting across the bars from him his face paled and went slack in horror.

“You’re – don’t kill me!” _First words out of his mouth? Pathetic._

“We want information.” _Don’t deny his fear, but don’t reinforce it either. Leave him guessing and keep wrong-footing him._

“I don’t know anything!”

“Well clearly you know something if I shot you while you were sneaking around in an alley. What, were you out for an evening walk and got lost? Was the fact that you were also armed at the time a complete coincidence?” _Bare teeth._

“Hawk…” _Heel._

“I was there under orders, I was supposed to be shadowing the kid. Watching his movements, that’s all I swear.”

“You swear? I think that The Hawk made a very good point that you were very well armed and prepared. I’m sure that you’re aware that the Survey Corps has been in the area, but I don’t see why that would necessitate you having chloroform. If you’re close enough to use it with any of us it’s highly unlikely at you will get the opportunity to do so. You are in a similarly precarious position now, so please do not lie to us; it’s only going to make this more painful.”

“Look, I’m only acting under orders. I don’t mean any harm to the kid okay? Just supposed to pick him up if I got the opportunity and bring him back for a chat.”

“With who?” Levi watched as Erwin’s eyes lit up, it was always a happy surprise when they got someone who was willing to be cooperative – as long as they actually knew something.

“Huh?”

“Who wanted to speak with him?”

“The boss wanted to.”

“And who the hell is your boss and who do you work for, shit for brains? Ever think that those are useful pieces of information that might save your miserable life?” _Growl._

“I can’t tell you that!”

“All that we’re asking from you is who you’re working for. Would I be correct in assuming that you’re from the Military Police?” Erwin's voice was calm.

The man’s eyes widened in shock.

“I’ll take that as a yes and ask what you what Dawk wants.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know! I never spoke with him directly, I was only told to grab the kid and bring him back. I didn’t even think I’d be able to get him on my first night but his sister isn’t able to move around too good and he –”

“Your first night at their apartment or your first night shadowing him period?”

The man startled at Levi’s sudden interjection. Erwin glanced slightly at the side to him, giving him a quizzical look that quickly resolved into understanding.

“What we mean to ask is whether tonight was your first night shadowing, period.”

“Shadowing the kid? Yeah, it was the first night. They sent another guy before me a few nights back but he couldn’t do it. He skipped town rather than ‘fess up to not doing shit but they’ll get the rat bastard. He was inexperienced and he got cold feet so they came to me.”

“And a fantastic shadow you are. Not noticing someone in a sniper’s position on the roof directly across the street and stepping out into the light in the alley when there’s no confirmation that the coast is clear.”

Their captive shrank back towards the wall.

“Well, I think that wraps things up for the time being, but one last thing, what is your name?”

“Daniel."

Erwin stood up suddenly and Levi pushed off the wall to follow.

“Well Daniel, we’ll be back with more questions later. We need to see if your story checks out but someone will be down with water in a moment.”

 

Erwin turned to Levi after they had closed the door behind him.

“So he’s not our original shadow? You saw someone else the other night, did they look at all alike?”

“No. Not at all.”

“So there’s someone else out there.”

“Or there _was_ someone else out there. I doubt they just “skipped town” after taking a shadowing job with the Military Police. They aren’t always the sharpest tacks, but that’s suicidal.”

“Yes, I think that’s the lead to follow. Let’s see what we can turn up on that before we talk to him again. My guess is that it’s going to lead us to a very suspicious dead end that lacks a body.”

“Definitely the Titans then, huh?”

“I’m already fairly certain. I only wish we’d got a hold of them first.”


	44. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Guess what!? ALYNA meets the minimum word requirement and is now officially a novel!**  
>  And the best part? I think we're only just past the halfway mark so you guys have a lot more to look forward to.
> 
> So I'm pretty fucking stoked about ALYNA being a novel and I was going to do a thing like "I will write any prompt sent to me in the next twenty-four hours" but then I realized that my life is already insane and I'd essentially being saying "I want to celebrate by shooting myself in the face" so yeah no that's not happening. I'd love to see some art, but I know y'all are busy and junk and I've been saying that I was going to art for an age and I've never posted anything so yeahhhh.....
> 
> Anyway, I want to thank each and everyone one of you for reading and commenting and kudosing and just generally supporting this endeavor. Knowing that there are people out there who enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it is really what keeps me going. Just saying hi to you guys either here or on Tumblr makes me feel all fuzzy and warm. Without your cheerleading and enthusiastic responses ALYNA never would have grown into what it is today and I might have stopped writing after chapter thirty. Just thinking about other people reading and enjoying my writing makes me smile and I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry when I post the final chapter... whenever that is.
> 
> So yeah, thanks for helping me write a novel guys and get comfy for the rest of the ride. (｡◕‿◕｡)

“So we have nothing to go on for tracking down this mysterious first shadow?”

“Well we know that his name was Tom and Levi has him pegged at five foot eight and a hundred and sixty pounds. Apparently preferred a knife to a gun, or at least for that job he didn’t bring one.”

“And he had a shit fighting stance.”

“So somebody young and / or relatively inexperienced. It’s not much to go off of but I’ll try and see what I can dig up in the police records for bodies that have been recovered in the past few days. I guess I’ll give the missing persons list a look as well, it’s a bit of a longshot because his family may not have come what with him being involved in the Military Police but I’m sure there’s _someone_ who cares about him.”

“Thank you Hanji. Mike, put your nose to the ground and see what you can find. Somebody must know something.”

“I’ll try the usual people first but if we’re dealing with the Titans we may not be able to get anything at all. Shaking people down about the Military Police or the Stationary Guard is one thing, but the Titans have brought brutality to a whole new level. I think we all remember what happened to the Special Operations Squad. Nobody else would have gone after them like that.”

“Hm, well… see what you can find. The absence of information can be its own sort of information.” Mike picked up his gear and grabbed car keys and a folder off of the table before heading out of the room.

“Thanks for the fortune cookie wisdom, Erwin.”

“What has you in such a foul mood?”

“He’s been like this since he got back.”

“Shut up, shitty goggles.”

“See? Bad mood.”

“I’m exhausted, I had to carry a small giant on my back, I had to deal with a drunk kid –”

“Your fault.”

“– fuck off, Hanji. And I should have taken down the first shadow rather than just scaring him off. In spite of being even less experienced than the asshole downstairs he probably knew more. Add that all up and you’re really asking me why I’m in a bad mood?”

“Just don’t let it interfere with your work.” Erwin frowned, “but did you really have to get him drunk. We need information from him and it’s difficult if the person we’re trying to question is drunk.”

“How many times do I have to say that I didn’t expect him to down it in twenty minutes?”

“I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to begin with.”

“Oh, so you didn’t notice that the kid looked like he wanted to deck you every time you mentioned his dad? Because that’s clearly a really touchy subject and him getting pissed off and clamming up is probably worse than him unclenching his ass because he has a bit of alcohol in his system.”

“ _Yes, I noticed._ I just hoped that he would be mature enough to realize that we need to have answers to these questions if we’re going to help him and get rid of the Titans.”

“Yeah, well news flash the kid is only twenty-one and has a fuck ton of issues that he decided to unload on me when I drove him home. Did you know that he lived in the Maria Wall apartments before the collapse and that he saw his mom die? Or that apparently he didn’t finish high school and got his GED instead? And I’m going to bet that they left Shiganshina because the situation there has turned into a war between the police and the Stationary Guard.” Levi’s tone was flat and monotone as he glared evenly at Erwin. “Did you know any of that?”

“Aw, you care!”

“You try having someone drop that all on you while drunk like it’s the most natural thing in the world to talk about and not be just a little concerned. It was disjointed as hell but he acted like he was reading off the weather report.”

“You just don’t want to admit that maybe you care a little bit.”

“Fuck off.” Levi turned back to Erwin and repeated his question more forcefully. “Did you know any of that already, Erwin?”

“No.” His brow was deeply furrowed. “Even with a couple of days to look into it I couldn’t find much more than that he lived in South Stationary, his father disappeared and his mother died when he was in high school. I had a hunch that he might have lived in the Maria Wall complex at some point, but nothing to confirm it and nothing more beyond that. Interesting that there’s barely any trace of him or his sister having lived there in spite of living there for most of their lives…”

“That’s definitely… odd.”

“I can try to dig up some more on him while the results from the police database come back. It shouldn’t be an issue to go back and forth between the two. Of course I’ll give priority to figuring out our mystery shadow, but if there’s a chance that Eren’s background can tell us a bit more about what’s going on and how his dad is involved I think it’s worth me putting some time into it.”

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea. Thank you Hanji, I’ll start reaching out to contacts in Shiganshina myself to see if we can dig anything up. Levi, get some sleep. I want you to shadow Eren tomorrow – well, today – during the daylight. I’m curious to see if either the Military Police or the Titans have somebody shadowing him during the day as well.”

“Perfect, just what I need. More quality time with the brat.”

Erwin sighed and stepped away to a more secluded area to start making phone calls and sending emails to various contacts.

“It’s unexpected that you would actually care, but I guess it’s not shocking that you would empathize just a little bit given everything...” Hanji spoke quietly even though there was nobody to hear them.

“Don’t go there.” Levi’s body tensed up, muscles and skin pulled taut. Hanji gave him a soft smile.

“Just don’t go breaking his heart; caring and then pushing him away. You said it yourself, he has a lot of issues that have clearly affected him pretty strongly. I wonder if he’d be any more willing to talk openly if it were simply for my research and I wasn’t talking about his past too directly. And don’t go knocking my research.”

He ignored Hanji’s comment about the kid in favor of picking nonexistent lint off of his sleeve. After a moment, he looked up at them again.

“Who said I was going to knock your research? Your experiments are annoying as hell and sometimes really weird but we all know that you’ve got some useful stuff out of it. Anyway, I’m going to get some sleep downstairs on the couch.”

“Alright, I’ll make sure you don’t sleep past seven.”

“Thanks.”

 

Levi went down to the pseudo-apartment to get some sleep on the couch. He would only get a few hours but it was better than nothing if he was going to be following the kid around all day. In his exhaustion, he dropped his guard slightly and his mind dragged him backwards; a second and third round of questioning, going over theories and hunches and potential investigation angles, everything. It was all a blur. He shifted and turned over repeatedly in an attempt to get comfortable enough so that he could fall asleep.

______

“I wasn’t expecting to be able to grab him the first night, but his sister is injured and he was out of it. Didn’t think about maybe someone else was there.”

_I royally fucked up on that. If I hadn’t been there… if he hadn’t been drunk… fuck that would have been a shit show. Erwin would have dragged me over the coals for that._

“…pretty much on my own except my sister since I was fourteen.”

“…he was out of it.”

“Also lived in Maria Wall… My mom died… Couldn’t lift the things… We moved to Trost five years ago… Didn’t graduate, got a GED instead.”

“Cart blanch as long as he was alive when I brought him in. I was told I could incapacitate him however I needed to, he just needed to be able to answer questions.”

“Just me an’ Mikasa… my sister… on my own except my sister…”

Levi couldn’t get comfortable on the couch. It was old and there was that one spring that was popping up that would jab you in the back or the ass regardless of how you were laying down. His face kept sticking to the beat up fake leather and the room was at just the right temperature for his skin to feel clammy and damp. He got up to go and raise the temperature on the thermostat. Laying back down with the spring in his back he tried to fall asleep as he heard the heat turn on. He felt tired and yet he couldn’t sleep and the frustration that he felt was building.

“… as long as he was alive when I brought him in. I was told I could incapacitate him however I needed to...”

No, it wasn’t frustration.

It was guilt.

_Sorry kid, I fucked up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when Daniel / Mr. Captive Shadow says that he was given 'cart blanch' he actually means _carte blanche_ aka "do whatever the heck you want just get the thing done." The point is that he's mispronouncing it without the French accent because French has stupid vowel and consonant rules and people always mispronounce things.


	45. Concern About Last Night / Texts From This Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I had my state exam last week and I was going crazy trying to study (I passed!) and then I was trash and wrote a cumplay one-shot and then I had to do visiting day at my sister's camp yesterday and just... I've been busy. I should have a second chapter up later today.

“Eren? Eren. You need to get up for class.”

“Noooooo. My head hurts.”

“You’re going to miss class!”

Eren rolled over and burrowed further under the blankets while pulling a pillow over his head. His head was killing him and he couldn’t remember why.

“ _Eren._ I _will_ tell Mikasa that you aren’t up yet and she will kick you out of bed – literally.”

“Armin, I can’t.” Eren was mumbling from underneath his pillow, his voice muffled but audible. “I’d probably throw up in class.” He heard Armin’s staticky sigh, one of the few things verbal tics that Marco hadn’t been able to perfect in Armin’s speech codex.

“Then at least email your professor? You also need to set up a meeting with your adviser to discuss your thesis topic.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

“EREN!”

“Ouch. Armin, keep it down.”

“Sorry but your deadline is coming up really quickly and what if you need to come up with something else. And don’t forget that you need to provide research materials to back it up and you haven’t done any of that yet. You don’t even have a topic at all! You really should go to the library today…”

“Already came up with a topic last night.”

“Really? That’s great, Eren!” Armin’s voice got louder and pitched higher in his excitement, Eren cringed.

“Yeah. Still need to do research but I have notes and everything.”

“You still need to email your professor and adviser.”

“Alright, alright I’m getting up.”

Eren slipped out from under the covers, groaning as the light streamed in through one of his windows.

_Why the hell are my blinds –?_

The night before came back full force.

 _There was someone outside in the alley and clearly I was his target. And Levi got him. I wonder who he was and who he was with. If both the Titans_ and _the Military Police are after me they could have been sent by either. They were kind of an idiot though, even I noticed them once I got to the window and they came out into the light and everything. I am so sick of dealing with this shit._

Eren stumbled out of his bedroom and towards the bathroom. He could hear Mikasa in the kitchen and was resolved to avoid her for as long as possible. She was not kind when he had a hangover. He attributed it to the fact that she had never had one herself and couldn’t possibly understand the misery that he was going through. He was grateful for the fact that while he _was_ nauseous he knew that he wasn’t going to throw up. Soaking his head under the cold water faucet helped to wake him up a bit and he made his way to the kitchen, hoping that the pain relievers kicked in sooner rather than later.

 

Mikasa was sitting at the kitchen table sipping a mug of coffee, ignoring him as he walked in.

“Hey, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to get drunk or worry you.”

She continued to stare ahead over the rim of her coffee mug.

“Are you really going to give me the silent treatment?” Mikasa sighed and put her coffee down before turning to face him.

“I was worried about you. Wandering home drunk? What if something happened?” She ducked her head and pulled her scarf up over her nose, her voice quieter now. “I can’t protect you right now so please don’t take any unnecessary risks. I can’t lose you too.”

“Mikasa…” Eren pulled her into an awkward sideways hug. “I’m fine. I think they might be even more protective than you. Difficult as that might seem.”

“Oh yeah? I don’t think that’s possible.” She laughed and Eren smiled.

“Well, I keep offering to take the bus back and they keep insisting on driving. Although apparently Dr. Scientist and The Hawk have been swapping off staking out our apartment so –”

“Wait. _What?_ ” Mikasa pushed him away so that she could glare up at him. “You never mentioned that people are sitting outside watching us.”

“Oh uh yeah. Apparently there’s a good place on a roof across the street where you can see the alley really well. And the front door to the building as well. I bet they’re glad there’s no back entrance.”

“That’s still really creepy. I don’t like the idea of someone peering through our windows even if it is to keep you safe.”

Eren moved away and put some toast in the toaster. He almost poured himself a cup of coffee before realizing that it probably wouldn’t sit well in his stomach.

“Well I’m okay with it if it means I’m not going to get kidnapped again.” Eren spoke warily as he continued. “I’m pretty happy that Levi was around last night.” Mikasa’s eyebrows drew together.

“Why?” Her tone was sharp.

“Last night there was someone in the alley.” He shifted anxiously, hoping that she wouldn’t blow up as he continued. “They were probably here for me. Levi texted me to walk over to the window to draw him out and got him with a tranquilizer.”

“He used you as _bait?_ ” She practically yelled the last word and Eren brought his hands up to cover his ears, his headache had been dissipating but now it was back. Her glare was positively murderous. “Isn’t he supposed –”

“Mikasa, please just stop for a second?” He could see the pain and anger simmering in her eyes. “He knew that they were there and _yeah_ I guess he used me as bait, but it was so he could line up a clear shot to knock them out so the Survey Corps could question them. I’m fine with him asking me to stand at a window if it means not being kidnapped _again._ ”

Mikasa looked slightly mollified and she picked up her coffee and took a sip.

“ _Fine._ He did a halfway decent thing.” Eren grinned, he knew it was the best that he was likely to get from her.

“Well I’m going to take my toast back to my room so I can send some emails and take a nap.”

“Don’t you have class today?”

“Uh… I’m not going. I’m emailing my professor to tell them why I wasn’t there.”

“ _Really, Eren?_ ”

“Hey, you’ve never had a fucking hangover. I feel like death warmed over right now. If I take a nap now I might be able to make it to my afternoon class.”

“And you’re going to tell your professor what? That you have the flu?” Eren laughed at her concerned expression.

“I’ve had Johnson for three years, I can tell him that I have a hangover and he’ll be fine with it. I haven’t missed a class so far this semester and I didn’t miss _any_ last spring.”

“Alright, I’ll keep the television quiet so you can sleep.”

“Thank you so, so much.”

Eren picked up his plate of toast and filled up a water bottle to bring back to his room.

 

He tossed the water bottle on the bed before placing his toast on the table next to his bed and grabbing his laptop to bring back to the bed with him. He created a blanket nest while his laptop started up. He found his phone in the pile of blankets and realized that he had multiple unread text messages and a call that he just barely missed. He opened up the messaging application and his eyebrows knitted together in momentary confusion.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 07.48]** Let me know when you wake up. Dear Leader wants me shadowing you during the day.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 07.59]** Hanji said you have class at 8.25 so get the fuck up.

  _How the hell does Hanji know when my classes are!?_

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.07]** Did you drown in your own vomit?

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.13]** Fucking text me back brat.

**[Missed Call from Asshole McFuckface: 08.15]**

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.16]** I swear to fucking christ if I don’t hear back in five I’m kicking your door in.

Eren stared at the log of texts and the missed call before coming to and responding himself.

 **[Eren: 08.18]** i was in the bathroom then the kitchen. too hungover for class.

The response was almost instantaneous.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.19]** Keep your fucking phone on you.

 **[Eren: 08.19]** sorry i'm not exactly fully functional rn

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08:20]** Well at least I can understand your texts now.

Eren scrolled up to look at the text messages he had sent the night before.

 **[Eren: 08:22]** oh wow i really wrote those

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.22]** Yes you did. Congratulations.

 **[Eren: 08:23]** so what ended up happening with the person?

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.24]** I took them back to HQ for questioning. We didn’t get too much out of them.

 **[Eren: 08.24]** and what does ‘questioning’ mean?

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.26]** We asked them questions. What do you fucking think we did?

 **[Eren: 08.29]** sorry. gonna take a nap setting an alarm for noon

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.30]**  Call me when you wake up and don’t choke on your vomit in your sleep. I don’t want to explain that to Dear Leader.

Eren set his phone aside and sent off a quick email to his professor letting them know why he wasn’t in class and sent another to his adviser asking to set up a meeting at the beginning of the next week to discuss his thesis. Once he was finished he set his laptop on the floor and curled up in his blanket nest. He was asleep before the last text message arrived.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.46]**  Don't fucking forget to call me when you wake up, Eren.


	46. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt. 3 (Escape)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually love the content of this chapter but not so much the presentation. There's going to be a companion piece for it ending up in the Asides at some point this week probably. 
> 
> I wanted to get this out yesterday but I ended up scrapping and rewriting it multiple times (this is attempt #4) and it isn't the greatest because I just really wanted to get this out there before I scrapped it again. So here have a thing... ヾ(-_-;)

Too much that he had been trying for years to forget was bubbling up to the surface.

Even sleep couldn’t chase away his thoughts.

Eren hadn’t meant to say as much as he did to Levi and he could only be glad that he had only given him the highlight reel rather than the full story. The years after his father left were filled with bad luck and bad memories. His mother’s death had affected him and Mikasa profoundly; the Maria Wall tragedy sent aftershocks through South Stationary for almost a year after. He supposed that everything that was happening in Shiganshina today was still related to what happened that day, albeit in a more roundabout manner.

 

South Shiganshina was turned upside-down after Pixis died.

Every street corner, every alley, every doorway became dangerous. Who lurked where and whose turf were you on and how likely was it that you were going to get stopped. On the other side of the doors and the windows a world steeped in violence – manufactured and natural – festered. Criminal and criminalized alike shared the streets and dodged the law. It was a battle that couldn’t be won; both sides were too invested and pockets ran deep and the casualties were the very people the Stationary Guard used to protect.

 

After the collapse it had been Hannes who took the both of them in without question.

Eren still felt regret over what happened. That he had blamed Hannes for his mother’s death, that he had lashed out so harshly at him, that he had refused to acknowledge anything in spite of what he was doing for them. He regretted not being able to thank him in the end. He had done so much more than he needed to.

He had told them that if anything ever happened to him there was a deposit box at the bank for them.

They expected the money, they didn’t expect everything else.

Most especially the letter.

Or rather, the contents of the letter.

 

Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman didn’t exist; over the years he had ensured that as much could be destroyed as possible. If anybody went looking for them they were both born in Shiganshina City Hospital, they had attended South Shiganshina High School, their mother passed away shortly after Eren and Mikasa entered high school, Mikasa graduated and Eren didn’t. The only real loose end that couldn’t be tied up was the existence of their parents and even then, he had done his damndest to purge records where he could. Grisha Jaeger – worked in a lab and as a local doctor and one day he left. Carla Jaeger – died in the Maria Wall collapse, her father emigrated from Andalusia when he was twenty-five and her mother from Turkey when she was only eighteen.

If anybody asked around they might be able to find out that Eren got into fights a lot or that they had a friend named Annie or that Mikasa had made herself Eren’s protector. These were all things that proved they lived there but provided nothing by way of substance if ever someone wanted to find them. There was nothing about the circumstances under which Mikasa became a part of the Jaeger family. There was nothing that intimated that Mikasa might have any sort of powers. There was also almost nothing that linked them to Maria Wall.

Their entire pasts had been expunged and they could walk free.

He had left them contact information for a man in Trost who could help them land on their feet.

There were also photographs.

Soft and warm colors, all taken in recognizable places in South Stationary – or at least they used to be. Carla Jaeger in her late teens; youthful and vibrant and laughing. Each photograph taken by the eye of someone who loved her. The final photo was Carla and Hannes; they were both smiling but the way that he looked at her...

It fell into place then.

Why Hannes watched out for them so closely compared to the other children in the area.

Why he was always there to help when Grisha wasn’t.

Why he took them in without even considering other options.

Why he spent an unknown amount of time and money purging their existence so they could move on when the time came; he had given them a way out.

He kept turning it over, how different would things have been after Grisha left if his mother and Hannes… He never would have accepted it then. Knowing what he did now he wished that things had gone differently but even years after Hannes had taken them in he still held out hope for his father’s return. He wished that he’d given a chance to the man whose body was found behind the Guardsman’s Pub. Instead he had spent three years lashing out at someone who chose to honor the dying wish of the woman he loved even though it meant her death.

If Mikasa noticed that he silently cried himself to sleep that night she never brought it up.

 

A week later they disappeared into the night.

Two backpacks.

An address.

Leaving behind a world shattered to pieces.

It was another new beginning.

An escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I really want to make sure that this is clear: _Hannes is not Snape._ He legitimately loved Carla and never resented the fact that she married Grisha because he never worked up the nerve to tell her that he loved her and he just wanted her to be happy. Even before Grisha left he helped keep tabs on Eren for her because yo, kid got into trouble a lot.
> 
> After Grisha left he knew that Carla had too much to worry about without getting into any sort of romantic relationship and so he tried to help out with apartment repairs and making sure that Eren and Mikasa were safe because she was working full-time but her schedule rotated so she wasn't always home when they were. When she died it was never a question about him taking in Eren and Mikasa and keeping them safe and just... _I have a lot of feelings about ALYNA Hannes._
> 
> (I've always headcanon'd that Hannes had a thing for Carla so heck yeah I'm going to write it)


	47. At the Diner (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that I consistently fucking forget about for multiple chapters: Eren's various injuries. Oh well.
> 
> So this is a pretty fucking long chapter for me. Unlike the "Fall of Shiganshina" chapters, part two will be the chapter immediately after this. I'm splitting them because a) I'd be annoyed if one chapter was like, 4,000 words when everything else tops out at ~1,800 or whatever and b) I wanted to get you guys something and there was a good break in this so yeah. Have a chapter.

Eren was proud of himself for waking up fifteen minutes before his alarm was set to go off. Feeling less awful than he had when he first woke up, Eren downed the rest of the water in his water bottle but ignored the remaining slice of toast before heading off to shower. Mikasa was still on the couch with the television on, but had fallen asleep. He was amused by how much she had been sleeping recently, but he figured that it was just her body working to heal her injuries. She would inevitably take the neck brace off tomorrow even though both Eren and Armin would advocate for her waiting a few more days. Before getting into the shower he took a few more pain relievers; his headache was fading fast but he figured that it would be best to take more now rather than wait for it to potentially kick in again once the fogginess of sleep had cleared his mind and senses. The hot water sluicing through his hair and down his body helped to further dispel the effects of his hangover. He could feel himself getting sleepy again underneath the steaming water and briefly turned the water to lukewarm to shock his body into wakefulness – it worked too well and he hoped that he hadn’t just woken Mikasa up with his spluttering and cursing.

Getting out of the shower he brushed his teeth to get rid of the less-than-pleasing taste of a hangover. As he did so he checked out his injuries in the mirror, poking and prodding at various places on his face. The cut on his eyebrow had healed and the cut on his lip had closed up almost completely. The bruises were still there but were fading fast leaving only a few greenish-yellow blotches on his skin; the flesh was still tender but nothing particularly serious. At this point he could easily put cover-up over them if he was so inclined. His friends teased him about it on occasion but in Shiganshina he had learned quickly that appearances were everything and unless you were a known fighter, bruises only singled you out for further abuse. You were marked as weak – an easy target. He hadn’t bothered the other day, but with his flesh no longer as tender and the yellow-green marks giving his face an oddly diseased look he began to dab it on and tried not to think about what Jean would say if he walked in right then.

As he exited the bathroom he let out a sigh of relief that he hadn’t woken up his sister. Or if he had woken her up she had fallen back to sleep while he fussed over his face. Returning to his room he looked at his phone and realized that he had missed messages.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 08.46]** Don’t fucking forget to call me when you wake up, Eren.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 12.08]** I’m going to assume that you went to take a shit. Call when you see this.

Eren looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was only 12.10 and that he had only just missed Levi’s text. He pulled on a pair of boxers and gave his hair another vigorous rub with the towel before sitting on the bed and picking up his phone to make the call.

It only rang once before Levi picked up.

“So how was your shit?” Levi’s tone was sarcastic and Eren rolled his eyes.

“I woke up a bit early and decided to take a shower.”

“Good, I won’t have to wait for you.”

“Why would you have to wait for me?”

“Because we’re going out for lunch… though I guess it’s breakfast for you.”

“Awww, I thought you said you weren’t interested?” Eren couldn’t help but tease him and it was far easier to be so casual when they weren’t face-to-face.

“Fuck off, brat. I haven’t eaten, there’s a diner nearby and I’m going to bet that as a college student you aren’t going to turn down free food.”

“You’re paying? Definitely a date.” He heard a growl on the other end of the line and immediately backtracked, he wasn’t mentally present enough to continue down this road. “I’m kidding, calm the fuck down.”

He tensed and waited for an angry retort, but instead of an actual response all Eren heard was a few seconds of static before he got an actual reply.

“Just be downstairs in ten minutes.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He heard the faint click of Levi hanging up on the call and immediately went into motion getting dressed pulling on jeans and t-shirt and throwing books for his afternoon class in his bag along with anything else he might need. He was about to leave his room when he remembered to grab a sweatshirt. Before heading out the door he picked up the pad of paper on the coffee table and was about to write a note explaining where he was when Mikasa woke up and lifted her head up to look at him, eyes groggy with sleep.

“Where’re you going?”

“Going to the diner and probably going to the library after and then class.”

“Mmkay. See you tonight then.”

“Yeah, go back to sleep.”

She was asleep again almost as soon as her head was back on the pillow. Eren grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over her so that she wouldn’t wake up cold. Just before walking out the door he turned around and called out softly.

“Armin?”

“Yeah, Eren?” His tone was equally soft.

“Remind her where I am in case she forgets?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably be back around six.”

He noticed that it had already been almost fifteen minutes by the time he was downstairs and heading out the building’s front door. He could see that Levi’s car was sitting across the street and that Levi was sitting on the hood of the car dressed in street clothes and carrying a backpack with the same baseball cap pulled low over his face again.

 _He looks really young dressed like that and sitting on his car. He looks more teenager cute than adult attractive right now._ He smirked a little at the thought of what a much younger Levi might have looked like and wondered just how old Levi actually was. All he could really guess at was that he probably looked younger than he actually was.

“Sorry I’m a bit –” Levi held up a hand to stop him.

“At this point I expect you to be five or ten minutes late.” Eren ducked his head to look at his feet before responding, mildly embarrassed that Levi expected him to be late.

“Sorry.” But when he looked up again he realized that Levi had started walking and was already a good thirty feet away. “Hey, wait!”

He trotted to catch up with Levi, who turned around to wait for him. Levi walked at a slightly faster pace than Eren would have and he adjusted his gait to match, amused that Levi would walk faster in spite of his shorter stature.

“So we’re walking there?”

“What do you think?” In spite of the sarcastic comment, Levi’s tone lacked any real bite. “It’s only four blocks away.”

______

Eren wasn’t surprised as they entered and sat down that Levi didn’t remove his hat. The waitress gave them a bit of an odd look and sat them at a booth with a window (Levi’s request) and rattled off the day’s specials before leaving them with a pair of menus. Eren watched as Levi scanned the street carefully, taking in passersby and cars.

“So… can I get whatever I want?”

“Within reason, yeah.”

“So what qualifies as ‘within reason’ eh?”

“Just don’t order the entire menu.”

“What if I ordered blueberry pancakes, a BLT, a strawberry shake and fries?”

“I’d ask if you’re trying to kill yourself before you reach twenty-five.”

“I was kidding.”

“I hope so.”

They lapsed into an odd silence as Levi alternated between looking at the menu and looking out the window and Eren alternated between looking at the menu and looking at Levi. Eren tried to figure out if he wanted to get his usual blueberry pancakes or if he wanted something else. He was definitely craving something salty and he doubted that a side of bacon was going to satisfy that craving.

When the waitress came back for their orders Eren decided on BLT and a Coke and tried to hold back a grin as Levi ordered grilled cheese and fries as well as a chocolate milkshake.

“So are _you_ trying to kill yourself before you’re twenty-five?”

“That would be really fucking difficult considering that I’m twenty-eight.”

“Oh.” _Well I guess that explains a bit more about why he was so pissed off about me having a crush on him, he’s more than a couple years older than me – I guess maybe it’s more than he’s uncomfortable with it?_

They stayed sitting in complete silence as they waited for their food and Eren fidgeted. He had thought that they had reached some semblance of comfort sitting with one another, or at least a level of not-completely-awkward. When the food arrived Eren waited until they’d both had a few bites before speaking again, watching as Levi used a fork and knife to cut up and eat his grilled cheese. He grinned and almost made a comment before remembering what he actually wanted to say.

“So why are you taking me out for breakfast?”

“How much do you remember about last night?” He hadn’t been expecting that as a response and looked at Levi in confusion.

“Um, you took down a guy in the alley who was stalking me. What happened with that anyway?”

“No, before that.”

“What do you mean, ‘before that’?”

“The car ride back. Do you remember any of it?” Eren stared at his food, lost in thought as he tried to remember the night before.

“Not really? I think we got stuck in traffic?” Eren started worrying at his lip when he saw what might have been a look of concern on Levi’s face. “What happened? Shit, I hit on you or something stupid didn’t I? I’m really fucking sorry, I –”

“No.” Levi interjected quickly. “You were actually really well-behaved considering the fact that you were drunk.”

“Okay, so then what happened? Because you seem like you want me to remember and I’ll probably remember eventually, but I’m still not quite there yet.” Levi violently stabbed his grilled cheese to cut off another piece and Eren watched as he glared at his plate for a moment before his features softened slightly and he started to speak at his plate, not making eye contact with Eren.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I pushed you to talk about your past; it wasn’t my place to pry. I also mentioned it to Erwin. In retrospect I shouldn’t have said anything to him. I’m sorry.”

Eren stared at him in shock, his mouth hanging open slightly. After a moment he closed his mouth, his jaw snapping shut and his teeth clacking together. He watched as Levi continued to look at his plate and push his fries around with his fork. Silence reigned.

 _Is he serious? He’s apologizing to me? I feel like I’ve entered some sort of parallel dimension, he said he was sorry about my face but this. He’s sorry that he pushed me and then… I guess he feels like he broke my trust or something? What the hell did I even say? Oh fuck what_ did _I say?_

“Levi, what did I tell you?” He tried to keep an external calm while he panicked internally. _What the fuck did I say that has him so concerned?_

“It was a bit disjointed, but you mentioned you lived in Maria Wall and your mother died in the collapse – that you saw her die. That you didn’t formally finish high school. I’m guessing you left Shiganshina because of what’s essentially an ongoing war between…” He shook his head slightly before finally looking up at Eren. “And I told Erwin. I didn’t think about that until much later. That it wasn’t my place to say anything.”

Eren stared at him dumbstruck for a moment as he pieced together what Levi said against the vague snippets that he remembered from the night before.

“I mentioned Hannes as well. I don’t know how much I said about him.”

“From what you said it sounded like he rescued you and your sister from the fire.”

“Yeah. He took us in after. We left for Trost when he died.” _When he was murdered in a back alley. Probably by the very people who he mentored and trained._

Eren continued to sit still, further piecing together memories from the night before, the picture becoming clearer.

“I tried to give you a high five.” He buried his face in his hands.

“A really shitty one too.”

“I tried to invite you up to our apartment.” He could feel his face going bright red now. “And I fell out of the car.”

“Well I guess you didn’t kill too many more brain cells if your memory is coming back. That’s especially good since you don’t have that many to spare to begin with.” Eren groaned at Levi’s sarcastic remark.

“Fuck you, it was a weird ni –”

Eren’s head shot up and he stared at Levi.

“You told me you’re from the Underground.”


	48. At the Diner (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part of Levi and Eren eating breakfast! The 104th should be back next chapter.
> 
> I do have a question for you guys though: There's a sorta-kinda side arc with Ymir and Krista that has been a part of the plot since this went from "oh a cute short story" into "oh a novel I guess." Actually, I guess it's less of a side arc and more "this brings in a lot more shit just with different people" but it is going to add _a lot_ to the story not just in content but in length. I _can_ do major surgery on the plot and take it out. I'd rather not but I'd like to hear your feedback because the thing is, I could probably finish this by the end of the summer if I do take it out but it would probably be more like Halloween if I leave it in.
> 
> I will be a bit bummed taking it out and I think it's going to water down some parts of the plot (it might even be noticeable) but it _is_ doable. So yeah, gimme your thoughts on this.

_“You told me you’re from the Underground.”_

Last night he had hoped that Eren wouldn’t remember him asking about his past, but when he’d woken up this morning he realized that what he really regretted mentioning was that he was from the Underground. He still couldn’t believe that he had mentioned that. Trust the kid to remember that without any prompting.

Levi stared impassively at Eren; this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to be having and it definitely wasn’t a topic suited for a diner. If he was honest with himself, a diner was one of the most ill-advised locations to bring Eren if he was going to talk to him about what he had originally intended. He had bargained with himself over it; he wanted hot food that wasn’t pre-packaged and he owed Eren something for last night. If he’d felt guilt last night as he went to sleep, it was nothing compared to what hit him when Hanji woke him up. The realization that he had told Erwin something that had been said to him not necessarily in confidence, but certainly not in a manner that implied that he could say anything to someone else. He was still turning over just _why_ he had told Erwin. He knew that Hanji was right, he did feel empathy for the kid – more than he really wanted to admit – and him telling Erwin was sort of strange ‘fuck you’ to a man who couldn’t fully comprehend just how difficult it could be to talk about your past. A strange attempt to explain just how messed up the kid was and why.

No matter how focused on his own thoughts he was, he couldn’t ignore the kid’s gaze practically boring a hole in his head.

“Yes, I did. I also told you to drop it.”

“You’re the one who brought it up then to begin with.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“But you did.”

“I’m not having this argument _again_.”

“So how did you get me to back off last night?” Eren grinned at him. “We both know I’m a tenacious fuck so what the hell did you say to get me to back off. Say it again and I might.”

His tone was teasing but Levi couldn’t bring himself to even keep his frown in place. All expression dropped off of his face like water slopped at a window. He spoke, keeping his voice as affectless as his face.

“There’s nobody else that can tell you about my past because they’re all dead.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Eren’s expression went from teasing to uncomfortable in a fraction of a second. “That would shut me up pretty quick.”

“It did.”

They both sat and picked at their food somewhat awkwardly.

_Okay, I wanted the kid to back off but I didn’t mean to fuck him up again. But I guess he understands what that sort of loss is like, maybe even deals with it similarly. If repression were an Olympic sport…_

He looked at Eren and watched him a moment longer.

_Yeah, definitely repression or he wouldn’t be so pissed at Erwin._

“So, there’s an actual reason that I asked you to come to breakfast.”

“You mean besides buying me apology breakfast?”

“Guilt is a hell of a thing.”

“Why did you ask me to eat with you then? Besides guilt that is.” He watched as Levi grimaced and looked like he was dealing with some sort of inner conflict. He waited patiently for it to pass.

“I think you have a right to know what’s going on and not be completely in the dark. I don’t think it helps you any if you know fuck-all about the situation right now.”

“So you’re just going to tell me everything?”

“I can only tell you what I know, but yes – everything.”

“I’m getting the feeling that you’re doing this without asking Erwin first.” Eren’s mood shifted and he was grinning at Levi.

“You have a right to know. It’s your ass on the line right now.”

“And it’s a cute ass, isn’t it?” A mischievous smile met Levi’s glare and faltered.

“Don’t push your fucking luck, kid.”

_I don’t need this. This was an awful idea. Why the hell did I ask him to go to breakfast with me? Kid, I may feel guilty but I’m sure as hell not going to fuck you._

“I was _joking_ , Levi.” _No you fucking weren’t._ “Jesus, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

“I got about four hours of sleep on a shitty couch after questioning our favorite practically-a-dead-end stalker last night.”

“So… what did you find out then? That’s what you wanted to talk about, yeah?”

“He’s not the same shadow as the one that was around the night you were with your friends.”

“The night you showed up?”

“Yeah.”

“So there’s someone else out there?”

“Was. We’re pretty damn certain he’s dead.”

“Why do you think he’s dead?”

“They were both with the Military Police from what he said and I can’t imagine that they would have people rotating trying to get a hold of you. Ideally a shadow trying to capture you knows your habits and swapping people out constantly makes that pretty damn difficult.”

“You said that you and Hanji were swapping off shadowing me.”

“It’s ended up being pretty much just me. Hanji just got a ton of shit that they need to research thrown at them that they’re trying to get through. And even if we were rotating we’re not trying to capture you so there’s a lot of shit that we don’t have to care about.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t need to know that you usually eat cereal for breakfast and roughly when you’ve run out so that I can nab you while you’re out grocery shopping.”

“Do you actually know that I eat cereal almost every morning or was that a stab in the dark?”

“You’re a college kid, I expect you to not be able to cook and eat like shit. I bet you even eat Lucky Charms.”

“Okay first off, I can cook really well, I just don’t always have the time. Second… I prefer Cocoa Krispies.” Eren paused a moment and a thoughtful look crossed his face. “Does that tell you anything useful about me if you were trying to kidnap me?”

“Maybe.” Levi shrugged. “But probably not. Either way, you wouldn’t have multiple people wandering around trying to kidnap the same person so we’re pretty sure that this first shadow was dead, especially since he apparently ‘skipped town’ or some shit. We can only assume that it was the Titans who took out the first guy.”

“You don’t know anything more than that?”

“About why the Military Police are after you as well? Unfortunately, no. Not only was last night was the first night he was shadowing, he also didn’t know shit. Presumably because his predecessor met an untimely end and they didn’t want any potential leaks.”

“What about whoever was watching the night Hanji picked me up from the lab building? I know that there was someone there even if I couldn’t see them.”

“Whoever that was… well, they weren’t Military Police. The first person they had after you was clumsy as fuck so I can’t imagine that they would have been able to keep themselves that well out of sight that Hanji _or_ you wouldn’t notice them.”

“Hanji and Mike checked out the area the next day and found nothing useful. So that’s a shitty dead end as well.”

“You know, you’re really just telling me that you don’t know shit.”

“Exactly.”

“What the hell does ‘exactly’ mean?”

“That even _we_ don’t know what the fuck is going on and you need to keep an eye out and not do anything stupid.”

“Great. Super useful. Thanks, Levi.” Eren huffed and crossed his arms as he leaned back further into the booth.

“And Erwin’s been hounding you about Grisha.” He heard the small growl that Eren made and chose to ignore it. “Even I’m a bit in the dark on that, he’s keeping his cards close to his chest and I’m not too thrilled about that myself.” He watched as Eren sat up and moved closer to the table, a bit more interested in what Levi had to say.

_Erwin probably doesn’t want him knowing much more but fuck it, he has a right to know._

“I can only really say that Erwin is pushing pretty hard to find out just what your father was working on before he left. I know it can’t be easy to talk about your past, but give us something to work with. Stonewalling us does nothing to help your situation or ours. If you’d prefer to write things down rather than talk then do that.”

“Yeah, that might work better but then I have to look at what I’m writing and I really don’t want a physical reminder, even if I am handing it over straight to you guys.”

“So then record yourself talking, I really don’t give a shit.” He watched Eren fidget and shift around in his seat a bit, looking down at his hands and cracking his knuckles.

“Would it be okay if I talked it over with you? I’m not really comfortable with Erwin or Mike and Hanji would probably start talking about something random, wouldn’t they?”

“Hanji is a very good listener when they want to be. Sometimes they just get carried away. I’ll see when Hanji is free.”

“Didn’t I just say that I was more comfortable talking to you?” He could see the muscles near his jaw tense as Eren grit his teeth.

“Yes, and I think it would be better if you talked to Hanji.”

“What, don’t want to be around me because I have a crush on you? Which by the way, I’m an adult and I can separate that out if I need to, asshole.” His voice was rising in volume now.

_Fucking hell, kid. Don’t cause a fucking scene._

“Keep your voice down, brat. And I’m saying you should talk to Hanji because they’re a better listener than I am and a hell of a lot more tactful.” He sighed and continued. “But if it would make you feel more comfortable then I can be there too.”

_I don’t need this empathetic bullshit._


	49. Potluck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potluck dinner with the 104th!
> 
> There's going to be a second chapter up in a few hours. I'm splitting it mainly because it would have been oddly disjointed going from this to what happens in the next chapter even though it's the same night.

An unexpected upshot to meeting with Levi had been that in addition to the both of them trying to be more comfortable with one another, Levi was also able to get the rest of the Survey Corps to back off for the time being. His only contact with them since breakfast with Levi had been via text between himself and Hanji and it was mostly just Hanji sending him photos of cute kittens or telling him “fun” facts about their research. Other than that, his life had been blissfully normal for the past few days. He met with his adviser and got his thesis approved, he worked on and finished his lab reports in a timely manner and now he was actually getting a chance to hang out with all of his friends. Every so often they would do this; the heroes would take a night off and they’d all pile into one apartment (usually Marco and Jean’s) and do a potluck and play games, have some drinks and just hang out. Ymir would inevitably beat Jean at Mario Kart repeatedly and Marco would have to intervene before it came to blows.

The night started out somewhat more subdued given that everyone knew something big was happening with Eren and the Survey Corps. He had begun to question whether or not he should have told them that anything was going on since he wouldn’t put it past Sasha – and Mikasa before she was even healed – to go chasing down leads. The more he thought about it, the more concerned that he got about whether telling all of them had been the right choice. He supposed that it made sense to put them on alert, but at the same time it also put them in danger and that was something that he kept circling back to. Mina had gone after Thomas not knowing what the situation was and she had never come back, neither of them had. He wanted his friends to walk in with their eyes wide open if it came to that.

Regardless of whether he wanted to talk about it or not, his friends brought it up first and wouldn’t let him back out of talking about it.

“So are you going to update us on what’s going on with you and the Survey Corps and those Titan guys?” Eren was honestly slightly surprised that Sasha had asked first given that they had only just started eating. All eyes had turned to him and were looking at him expectantly.

“Can we just finish eating first and I’ll talk about it after?”

“Fine, if you won’t talk then I bet Mikasa will tell us everything, won’t she?” Mikasa met Ymir’s smirk with a cold glare.

“I know almost nothing myself other than that he spends a lot of time with Dr. Scientist and The Hawk.”

“I haven’t seen either of them in days!”

“But they’re still around aren’t they?”

“…probably?”

“So _we_ can’t see _them_ but they can see us. How can you be so comfortable with that, Eren?”

“Because I’d like to _not_ be kidnapped again.”

Connie cleared his throat to get the attention of the arguing siblings and both turned to glare at him at the interruption.

“Just fill us all in already. You’re the one who said that it was a good idea for us to know what was going on in case anything happens.”

“Yeah, it’s just…” _It’s just that apparently the guy Levi took down was told he could use any means necessary to bring me in, they just need me to have a pulse._

“It’s just that _what,_ Eren?” There was an edge to Mikasa’s voice that made him cringe. He turned to the group to address all of them.

“There was a guy who was shadowing me a few nights ago and well, the Survey Corps” _I do_ not _need people to find out about Levi_ “took him out and apparently he was under orders from the Military Police to capture me and bring me back to them.”

“No offense dude, but that sounds like a day in the life of Eren Jaeger.”

“Connie!” Sasha smacked him over the head before addressing Eren.

“But something’s different this time, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, they aren’t doing it to get Mikasa’s attention and he was told that he could capture me by any means necessary. They just need me alive enough to be questioned…”

Mikasa choked on her drink and Marco went to pat her on her back while the rest of the group stared at him with varying degrees of shock on their faces – they were local heroes, they almost never ran into the Military Police in any meaningful way and certainly never had to deal with anyone kidnapping Eren for any reason other than to try and lure Mikasa to them. This was different.

“And somehow this all relates back to your dad?” Eren resisted the urge to snap at Marco about calling him Grisha but bit it back in favor of elaborating, he figured that if he was going to have to talk about this with Hanji and Levi then he might as well start off trying to talk about it a little bit with people who he had known for years.

“Yeah, something that Grisha may have been working on. I still have no idea how this relates to me. Maybe he was supposed to deliver something to them and took their money and disappeared? And maybe they think _I_ fucking know where he is? Le –they didn’t have much information for me. Apparently Commander Handsome is looking into things right now and doesn’t want to say anything until it’s clearer.” _Which is kind of bullshit if you ask me._

“So you really aren’t much better off now in terms of what you know than you were a week ago.” Mikasa’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you would have had _something_ given how much time you’ve been spending with them.”

“So you’ve been hanging around with the freaks?” Ymir had an eyebrow raised, waiting for Eren’s response.

“They aren’t freaks!” Eren realized that he had been just shy of yelling and gave everyone a sheepish smile before continuing. “They’ve definitely got their quirks so I guess they’re _interesting_ but they aren’t freaks.”

“What about The Hawk, he’s pretty awful from what I’ve heard.”

“He really isn’t that bad.” _Oh fuck…_ “I mean, at least he isn’t constantly pushing me about Grisha. It’s not like I can remember everything on the spot and Commander Handsome doesn’t seem to get it; that it really isn’t something that’s easy to talk about.” _Nice save, also completely true…_

“So he isn’t as bad as his reputation makes him sound?” Ymir was leaning back into the couch now and Krista took the opportunity to rest her head on Ymir’s shoulder.

“He’s definitely still an asshole, but I honestly don’t know what any of the rumors about him are…”He trailed off in confusion. Taking advantage of the pause in conversation, Krista looked up at Ymir who bent her head down to give Krista a quick peck on the lips before continuing.

“Well –“

“Hah!” Connie’s sudden loud exclamation made everyone jump slightly. “I knew that the two of you were together!”

Everyone turned to look at Connie like he’d sprouted a second head.

“Well, duh. We’ve been together before we even met you guys.” Ymir’s tone was sarcastic but her face expressed incredulity.

“But the two of you never… you don’t…”

“I think what Connie is _attempting_ to say is that the two of you are never particularly demonstrative with your affections.”

“Wow Sasha, pulling out the big words.”

“Shut up, Ymir. Seriously though, Connie… did you even need to ask?”

Connie was sinking lower and lower in his seat going bright red while Sasha and Ymir poked fun at him. Eren laughed; he had always sort-of assumed that they were dating even if they never said anything about it. He scratched at the back of his neck in discomfort and happened to notice that Krista was sitting on the couch looking withdrawn while Ymir and Sasha continued to tease Connie. He shifted his seat so that he was slightly closer to her.

“Hey Krista, are you okay?”

“What? Oh yeah…”

“You don’t look okay.”

“It’s just… things. Old things.”

“Like what happened sophomore year?”

“Something like that yeah. Ymir’s being a huge help again, it’s just… tough. Kind of like what you’re dealing with I guess. I don’t have all the answers.” She let out a melancholic sigh. “I just really don’t want to deal with my family is all.”

“Oh. Family problems for the win?” He tentatively held out a hand for a fist bump. She gave him a small grin as she touched her first to his and shook her head.

“I should stop Ymir before Connie dies from blushing.”

“Probably a good idea.”


	50. Cherry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title makes sense at the end... sort of. I'm fucking exhausted and this chapter took a lot out of me. Both forty-nine and fifty were rough just because there's a lot of set-up that I needed to make sure was in place so like... while it might not seem like there's a lot here, there's actually more than a fair bit in both this and the previous chapter and I had to hit the wording and the mood right and just. Ugh.
> 
> FYI: I'm going to be away for the next week so there won't be another chapter up for another week and a half. _Maybe_ there will be a chapter for the Asides but that would be it. I'm not going to have regular access to a computer while I'm gone so just assume nothing's gonna happen for a week and a half.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **EDIT: WAIT I NEED TO SHOW YOU A THING THAT HAPPENED ON TUMBLR BECAUSE WRYERS MADE FAN ART FOR ME AND I MAY HAVE SHRIEKED A LITTLE I'M JUST SAYING.**
> 
>  
> 
> **HERE'S THE THING HOLY FUCK.**  
>  **http://wryers.tumblr.com/post/92602091473/ive-been-reading-fanfiction-i-needed-to-churn**

It was that time of the night where everyone had tipped from buzzed into drunk. Mikasa was having fun taking advantage of her sobriety to beat everyone at Mario Kart. Eren was feeling far more relaxed than he had earlier and as he looked around he could see that Krista seemed to have cheered up as well as she elbowed Ymir for hitting her with a shell. Something though, struck him as off about the scene – about the whole evening really – but at this point he was just far enough past drunk that he couldn’t quite place what it was.

When he surrendered his controller to Marco he realized that there was a forest of empty beer bottles on the side table. He sighed and decided to be the good house guest and bring the bottles to the recycling before Sasha knocked them over. He gathered up all of them and slowly made his way to the kitchen, trying not to trip over anything. He nearly dropped all of them in shock when he saw a silhouette sitting at the table in the darkened kitchen. He got a brief adrenalin rush from his momentary fright before recognizing the figure.

“Jean?”

He got a grunt in response and as his eyes adjusted to the minimal amount of light he could see that Jean had his very own forest of bottles on the table. Eren dumped the bottles in his arms in the recycling bin and was about to simply leave Jean to whatever he was doing when it hit him. The entire night he hadn’t heard Jean speak even once. He had been there when they were eating but had sat off to the side, not participating in any conversation or in the prolonged teasing of Connie. He wasn’t out on the couch playing Mario Kart and challenging Ymir to a fist fight; no super powers, no shape-shifting –house rules. Marco never let it get that far though.

He and Jean might not be friends in the strictest sense of the term, but they had mutual friends and had been hanging out together regularly in some capacity since their first year of college. He looked back at Jean, his head in his hands and slumped over the table. He might not be best friends with the guy, but he could at least make sure that he wasn’t sick.

“Hey uh… Jean?” When he didn’t get a response, he prodded at Jean’s shoulder and repeated his name. “Jean? Hello, Earth to Jean?”

“What the fuck do you want Jaeger?” Eren was taken aback by the angry snarl and Jean’s sudden swipe at him.

“I was just trying to see if you were dying, Horseface. Really gonna snap at me for being nice?” He watched as Jean grabbed the bottle closest to him and took a swig.

_Okay universe, you owe me some serious fucking karma points for this shit._

Eren pulled out the chair next to Jean and sat down, clearing away the empty bottles he realized that Jean had gone through almost a full six by himself. He carefully reached out to take the half-full bottle that Jean had been holding a moment before.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Making sure you don’t fucking die of alcohol poisoning.”

“Fuck off.” Eren caught a glimpse of his face in the light as Jean turned away and saw that his eyes were red-rimmed and glassy.

“Jean?” He took a quieter tone now. “Should I go get Marco?”

“No!” They looked at each other, taken aback by Jean’s outburst. “No, that’s… prob’ly the wors’ thing t’ do right now.”

“Okay, I really hope I don’t regret this but… do you want to talk?” Jean looked up and met his eyes. _Wow, he really has been crying. What the hell happened?_

“Not really, but yeah.”

“What does that mean?”

“Really sucks when person y’like doesn’ like you back. ‘Specially like this.”

“Did you seriously fucking ask Mikasa out again? What the hell, Jean?”

“Wha? What’re you talkin ‘bout? Marco. I told Marco I like him.” Eren was left dumbstruck and staring at Jean, his mouth with slightly open as his brain tried to start functioning again.

“Marco? As in Marco Bodt? The guy who’s sitting out there playing Mario Kart.”

“Do we know any other Marcos?” Jean glared at him.

“Sorry, I just… I didn’t know you liked guys?” _Okay, well my world just got turned upside down._ “I thought you liked Mikasa?”

“Huh? Yeah, she’s pretty I guess but it’s always been Marco.” _Wow, you fucking asshole._

“So you asking her out multiple times freshman year was what then?”

“Wanted t’be normal.”

“Oh.” Eren chewed at his lip and an awkward silence dragged on. “Am I the first person besides Marco you came out to?”

“Yeah. Kin’a messed up huh? Shoulda known he’d shoot me down though. Shouldn’ve assumed he liked guys just ‘cause he never dated women. It was stupid. Sorry, y’don’t care an’ I’m tellin’ you this shit.” He allowed his head to drop down onto the table making a thud and causing the bottles to rattle.

“Look, I get it okay? It’s not easy and… just… I’m really fucking awful at this, okay?” He heard Jean give a watery chuckle.

“Always been shit at feelings.”

“You’re pretty awful too, Horseface.” They both laughed quietly at the awful nickname that Eren had given him.

“Fuckin’ hate it when y’call me Horseface.”

“Sorry.”

There was another awkward pause and Eren heard Jean let out a shaky breath.

“Y’know what it’s like though yeah? Havin’ someone not like you back?”

“Pretty sure everyone knows what that feels like.”

“No, like now. That Levi guy – he’s the The Hawk, yeah? – you like him but he doesn’ like you.” Eren gaped at him.

“Where did you…?” _No point in holding back now._ “Is it that obvious? Does everyone else know?”

“Nuh-uh. Saw you in the diner for breakfast. You were flirting, he wasn’ happy.”

“That’s –” _Completely true._ Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, he doesn’t like me back. I had a stupid hero crush on him, then he was an ass and I just wanted to fuck him –” Jean laughed “–shut up he’s hot! But now… I think I actually like him, but I’m fine with being friends…” He trailed off and ended with a shrug.

“Same with Marco, ‘cept he’s avoiding me now. Shouldna said anything. We’ve been friends f’r so long and now…”

Eren heard him try and stifle what might have been a sob and did what would probably be on the list of the top ten most awkward things he had ever done; he pulled Jean into a hug.

“Life’s shitty.” Eren tightened his arms around Jean. “And you’re going to be fucking fine because you’re too much of a stubborn horse’s ass to fall apart over a stupid crush.”

“Not a crush. In love with him for years. Just couldn’t…” Another huge shaky inhale. “I couldn’t say it.”

 _Holy fuck, he’s been in love with Marco for_ years _? They’ve been friends since before they could read, I wonder how long… fucking Horseface making me give a shit. I mean, it’s weird being around Levi and I’ve known him for two weeks, Jean has known Marco for almost two decades. What is that even like? Jesus._

They sat in their awkwardly slumped sideways hug for a moment longer before Jean shook himself free.

“Hey Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna make out?”

“Where the _hell_ did that come from?”

“I’m an emotion wreck?”

“That’s not exactly a good reason to make out with someone. I think it’s the opposite actually.”

“Would you sleep with me?” Jean was looking at Eren, the picture of calm while Eren stared at him in shock.

“Okay, how much have you had to drink, Horseface?”

“Five an’ half. Serious though, would you?”

“What like if we didn’t know each other and met in a bar?”

“Yeah.”

“Dunno… maybe? Depends.”

“Depends ‘n what?”

“Well I’m going to assume your face still looks like a horse so that’s points off already.” Eren ignored Jean’s glare and continued. “Also depends on what you’re wearing, my mood, your mood… honestly, it really comes down to how long it’s been since I last got laid.”

“When was the last time you got laid?”

“About six months ago? I think?” At this point Eren had decided to just roll with whatever Jean said since he seemed to be starting to feel a bit better, or at least he was acting like he felt better. “I don’t remember his name… he was a grad student. You?”

“End of break party with this girl Kristi. She was in my summer course.”

“Have you ever been with a guy? Or were you saving your first man-sex for Marco.”

“No and fuck you, Eren.”

“What, did you want to?”

“If I said yes?”

“I’d say it’s an awful idea because you’re sorting your shit out with Marco and we’ve both been drinking but I’m sober enough to know that it’s an awful idea.”

“So you aren’t _totally_ not okay with it.” Jean’s smirk lacked some of its cocky effect when he had clearly been crying not too long ago.

“Jean, I am _not_ going to pop your gay cherry.”

“Might make ‘em jealous.”

“Marco is straight and making Levi jealous would imply that he cared to begin with.”

“Fine, but are we friends now? I feel like we should be friends now.”

“I think coming out to someone and propositioning them after telling them you’re in love with your childhood best friend and roommate is some kinda fucked up that results in friendship. So yeah I guess.”

“Cool.”


	51. What are friends for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I said I probs wouldn't be posting a chapter while on vacation but I woke up way too early this morning and had a chance to type up my long hand copy.
> 
> Have a chapter.

Eren woke up slightly groggy, he hadn’t drank as much in a short period of time as he had on the night of the spiked milk incident, but he had been left with a mild hangover that consisted of a slightly fuzzy head and a mildly upset stomach. He thought about the night and how he had ended up actually befriending Jean in a couple of hours after knowing him and disliking him for over three years. The fact that they were both drunk and that Eren had the tiniest inkling of what Jean was feeling right then had given them a relatively neutral topic of conversation to start out with. In the end he could only conclude that the reason that they hadn’t become friends sooner was that they were too similar in personality and that in retrospect he could understand Jean resenting the fact that he and Marco were able to bond over science-y things that he had no interest in or experience with. The more he thought about that part and the fact that Jean had said that he had loved Marco for years the more he wondered if their continued status as frenemies was stoked by jealousy on Jean’s part. He was open about the fact that he liked men and spent time with the man who Jean was in love with, he could understand how that would affect Jean and subsequently their (lack) of friendship. It had been an interesting bonding experience; Jean’s confession followed by propositioning him had been odd but funny. Even now he had to chuckle a little bit about it. What had followed had been an off mix of commiserating and actually getting to know one another.

After half an hour he finally decided to leave the warmth of his bed and head to the kitchen for breakfast. Mikasa was already sitting at the table and sipping a cup of coffee.

“So on a scale of zero to freshman year the morning after Spring Fling, how hungover are you right now?”

“Compared to the morning after Spring Fling? Not even a one. Why? I didn’t drink too much last night.”

“You spent the last few hours we were there talking to Jean. I thought that you were so hammered you thought he was someone else.”

“No, I knew it was Jean. Unless he changes his mind when he wakes up we’re sort of friends now.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Eren?”

“Is it really so surprising that I would change my opinion of someone?” Eren’s tone was slightly annoyed.

“No, except this is Jean and you’ve actively and vocally disliked him practically since you met him. What changed?”

“He was having a shit night and I was drunk enough to ask what was wrong and see if he was okay. We ended up talking and it turns out we have a lot in common.” Eren shrugged and poured himself a cup of coffee.

“I could’ve told you that. Anyone could have.”

“Yeah, but I needed to realize it for myself I guess?”

“So what was so awful about his night that you felt like you needed to ask and then stay with him? Definitely not complaining that you’ve buried the hatchet, just curious.”

“It’s private. He wouldn’t have told me if we were sober and I’m going to respect the fact that he asked me not to say anything about it to anyone else. Even if we hadn’t apparently become friends I wouldn’t say anything about it.”

“Looks like Marco should watch out.” Mikasa grinned at him. “It looks like he’s got competition in the best friend department.”

_Marco would probably be thrilled since he can avoid Jean better if he’s no longer his only confidant. It’s weird to think about, being the person who Jean ends up talking to. I don’t know that I’m the best person for it… Jesus Marco, get over the fact that he likes you. If he’s been dealing with it for this long without any issues why freak out now?_ _What's actually_ _changed?_

“Maybe. Who knows?”

“Well either way, I think everyone is going to be happy that we don’t have to make sure you’re at opposite sides of the table anymore or that there has to be more than one other person with the two of you for you guys to not try and kill each other.”

“Yeah, I feel really shitty about it now.” _Being out and hanging out with the guy he’s in love with and then me making fun of him constantly right in front of Marco… that must have been miserable. I feel like a fucking asshole now._

“Awww… my baby brother is growing up so fast.”

Eren rolled his eyes halfheartedly and started making an omelet for the both of them to split.

______

It felt strange texting Jean for any reason other than to get in touch with Marco when his phone got crushed the one time but it would have felt stranger to not confirm that yes, they were indeed friends now and no, they were not going to be fighting anymore.

 **[Eren:]** hey how's your head feeling? you went pretty hard last night.

He was practically holding his breath as he waited for a response. Looking at his clock he realized that it might still be a little too early to expect Jean to respond given how much he drank the night before. Rather than sit around and wait for Jean's response, Eren sat down at his desk and opened up his laptop to start working on research for his thesis. He knew that he would have to go the library later but wanted to do as much as possible from home while he could. Especially while his stomach was still settling after breakfast.

He'd been working for about an hour when his phone buzzed.

 **[Horseface:]** I feel like I've been run over by a truck and my stomach is made of battery acid. I threw up last night right before I went to bed.

 **[Horseface:]** Awkward question but are we friends or was last night a fluke?

 **[Eren:]** yeah we're friends. are you feeling any better about things?

 **[Horseface:]** Not really no, just not as keen on drinking myself into oblivion.

 **[Eren:]** that sounds like a good thing actually

When he didn’t get an immediate response he went back to working on his research. Fifteen minutes later his phone went off again.

 **[Horseface:]** Sorry I disappeared. I just threw up again.

 **[Eren:]** what the hell. are you feeling any better?

 **[Horseface:]** What did I say? Run over by a truck and my stomach is battery acid. I feel like shit.

 **[Eren:]** ginger ale and saltines?

 **[Horseface:]** We don’t have any and I can’t do more than go between my bed and the bathroom.

 **[Eren:]** is marco around?

 **[Horseface:]** You really have to ask? He took off for the CS lab as soon as he could.

Eren held his phone in front of him and chewed on his lip as he tried to decide whether he was legitimately going to do what he was about to offer.

 **[Eren:]** if i showed up in 20 or 30 would you be able to let me in?

 **[Horseface:]** Are you shitting me?

 **[Eren:]** tell me if you want more than ginger ale and saltines before I change my mind

 **[Horseface:]** Since you’re offering, we’re almost out of ibuprofen and that shitty powdered chicken noodle soup is amazing for hangovers.

 **[Eren:]** just don’t be asleep when i show up

 **[Horseface:]** Yeah, I’ll set an alarm.

 **[Horseface:]** And thanks. Seriously.

 **[Eren:]** what are new old friends for? besides I was planning on going to the library later anyway

 **[Horseface:]** Still, thanks.

Eren didn’t respond as he started to pack up his things. He would be heading to the library a bit earlier than expected but it was difficult for him to ignore the fact that Jean was not only in a shitty place physically, but also emotionally. And his best friend had bailed on him first thing in the morning in spite of the fact that it sounded like he was going to be a wreck for the rest of the day. He paused and pulled out his phone again and looked up an entirely different contact.

 **[Eren:]** are you shadowing me right now?

The response was almost immediate.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** I’m in the area.

 **[Eren:]** wanna drive me to the grocery store?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** I’m not your fucking chauffeur, kid.

 **[Eren:]** my friend has an awful hangover and i said i'd bring him some stuff and it would be faster if i got a ride

 **[Eren:]** probably safer too if that’s a concern

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** I’m not paying for shit. If you aren’t at the corner of 104 th and King in five minutes you’re on your own.

 **[Eren:]** got it


	52. Unmasked (Reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's (relatively) early in the day for me so there's a (slim) chance that the next chapter will be up today since I do have the "Eren and Jean become friends" mini-arc plotted out fairly well and I'm in love with it and how much it builds up the both of them a lot (especially Jean) in a fairly brief period.
> 
> So before everyone freaks out, Eren and Levi's relationship is going to have a kind of "two steps forward, one step back" sort of development because Levi is blunt and has zero tact or social grace and Eren just kinda talks without thinking it through 100% of the time. When I say slow build I mean "these nerds are going to take a while to get their shit together and you will probably want to bash them over the head at multiple points for being idiots."

This time, Eren had been determined to actually be where Levi wanted him to be when he was actually supposed to be there. He ended up shouting over his shoulder at Mikasa that he was heading out while hopping around trying to get his shoes on. It wasn't until he was at the corner of 104th and King that he realized that his hoodie was inside out and he had forgotten one of the books he meant to bring. On the bright side (if it was one) he had made it to the corner in six minutes. He got there just as Levi was pulling up to the curb and he could see his lips part slightly in surprise that he was there on time. He could feel his own jaw dropping in response when he realized that Levi wasn't wearing either his mask or his usual hat. When they were at the diner he had tipped the brim up so that he could see Eren better and Eren had been able to see his features more clearly then, but not completely. Right now he could see the hat in the back seat on top of a black rectangular case. Eren had only allowed himself to stare for a few seconds before he caught himself and opened the passenger side door. He put his bag at his feet before getting in and stared resolutely ahead, refusing to look at Levi and waiting for him to reach back to grab the hat. Instead, Levi shifted into first gear and they started to drive.

“So where am I taking you? And don’t get used to this, I was in the area and I feel pity for your friend with the hangover.”

Eren continued to stare ahead out the windshield, not entirely hearing Levi. _He doesn't have his hat on. Why isn't he covering his face? Does he trust me that much? Fuck this is making me nervous, is it okay to look at him? I mean, he’s the one who chose not to put it on._

“Hey, kid.”

_But what if he just forgot somehow? No that’s bullshit, he wouldnt just forget. Right?_

“Oi, brat.”

_No, stop thinking about this too much, Eren. Stop getting your hopes up. Yes, he’s The Hawk and his secret identity is important but I bet that hat is really annoying. More annoying than me? That seems unlikely. But maybe not if he wants to be able to see –_

“EREN!”

Levi slammed on the breaks at a stop sign and Eren nearly went through the windshield. He turned to stare at Levi in shock and winced as he touched his clavicle where the belt had tightened at the sudden stop. He met Levi’s glare and quailed under it, shrinking back in his seat.

“I asked where the hell I’m taking you. Be fucking grateful I’m not kicking you out of the car right now.”

“S-sorry. There’s a corner market a few blocks away go straight three blocks and make a left and it’s two blocks down on the right.” He rubbed at his clavicle again. “Did you really have to brake like that?”

“Well apparently trying to get your attention just by talking a few times didn't work. What the hell, kid?”

“You don’t have your face covered.” _No point in lying._

“I fucking hate wearing hats because they block my vision.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I had it pushed up so far it was pointless at the diner and you've seen my face already so I don’t see a reason to keep wearing it.” He glanced over at Eren. “Jesus kid, I have my face uncovered because I want to, so stop looking like you’re about to take a shit. Unless you need to, in which case get out of the car.”

“No. It’s just that it was kind of a disaster last time you had your mask off is all.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. That’s it over on the right?”

“Yeah. Um, are you going to wait or…?”

“I might as well pick up groceries for myself while we’re here.”

Levi parked and they both got out of the car. Eren grabbed a shopping basket was thankful that they seemed to be going to completely different parts of the store, at least to start off. He grabbed two sixes of ginger ale and a gigantic box of saltines before going over to the first aid aisle to pick up some ibuprofen and wishing that he had started out getting the lighter items first. He was halfway to the register when he remembered Jean’s request for “that shitty powdered chicken noodle soup” and doubled back, hoping that it was in the soup aisle. He saw Levi was also there, glowering as he reached to try and grab something from the top shelf and came an inch short of touching it.

_He could totally reach that if he jumped. That would be fucking hilarious… Actually I guess that’s why he isn’t jumping. He seems to be a bit touchy about his height – not that I blame him._

Eren reached up to grab the can of soup for Levi and handed it off to Levi who then gave him a positively murderous glare.

“Worry about your own fucking groceries, brat.”

“Right... I’m just going to grab a few boxes of shitty powdered soup and I’m done.”

He turned around quickly and grabbed a bunch of boxes of the soup and practically sprinted to the register. He could feel Levi’s glare on his back even as he was having his groceries rung up and waited by the door, hoping that he still had a ride to Jean’s given that his bags were very heavy. Levi walked past him and out the door without a word and Eren followed closely on his heels, hoping that if he stayed close enough Levi wouldn't deny giving him a ride. He relaxed when Levi put his own groceries in the back seat and left the door open as he went around to the driver’s side. He quickly threw his own in and got into the passenger’s seat again. He gave directions to Jean's apartment to Levi as he started the car again.

“Do you eat anything that isn't canned or microwaveable?” He got a glare followed by an actual response.

“I don’t like cooking.”

“I love to cook when I have time.” He could have stopped there, but he didn't. “You should come by the next time I make dinner!”

He clapped a hand over his mouth and stared wide-eyed at Levi’s glare.

“I’m not try –“

“I’m not looking for a friend and I’m sure as shit not looking for a lover. Lay off, brat.”

Eren lowered his hand from his face and clenched his fists in his lap, his entire body tensing up as he glared downwards.

“Maybe I’m just fucking trying to be _nice_ because I feel bad that you eat like shit. Maybe I’m offering because I know you’re shadowing me a lot and I’d like to _thank_ you. Maybe you could fucking stop acting like a complete asshole any time I try to do something even remotely friendly.”

The tension in the car had the both of them on edge. Levi was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white and Eren’s body was so tense it looked like the slightest bump would shatter him.

“Fine.” It came out as a snarl rather than an acquiescence. “Tell me and Hanji about Grisha and I’ll eat your damn food.”

“Promise?” Eren’s words were similarly tight and yet tentative.

“Sure. Whatever. Just fucking set up a time with Hanji.”

“You’re supposed to be there too. _You_ offered.”

“And unfortunately most of my days revolve around following you right now so pretty much any time that works for the both of you works for me.”

“Okay.”

They drove on in silence, the tension uncoiling slightly as time passed. It didn't take too much longer before they were stopped in front of Jean’s apartment. Eren decided to plow through the remaining tension as he spoke.

“You don’t have to freak out every time I try to do something nice or be friendly. I get it, you aren't interested in having anything even remotely approaching normal social relationships with people. Just don’t bite my head off just because I actually understand how to interact with people and you don’t.”

The silence following Eren’s words stretched out slightly longer than was comfortable. Eren got out of the car as soon as it stopped and grabbed his groceries from the back seat. He was reaching into the passenger seat to grab his bag when he heard Levi let out a long breath.

“The closest I have to a friend is Hanji. That’s it and that’s enough. If you want to be ‘nice’ that’s fine, but please don’t expect me to be your friend.”

“What’s so wrong with having friends?”

“Friends die.”

He leaned over and pulled the passenger door closed and drove off, leaving Eren dumb stuck on the sidewalk.

 


	53. Equivalence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit of a beast to write because hey, it's some pretty heavy lifting to take "Horseface" and turn him into "Eren's new old friend Jean" in one chapter.
> 
> OH! I wanted to say a thing: All of the character deaths thus far have been past tense and have involved characters like Carla whose death is practically a given but there _will_ be deaths over the course of the story in the "present" day. I'm actually planning on being relatively canon with who dies over the course of ALYNA so just be aware that while I haven't made concrete decisions yet, if they are no longer among the living in chapter fifty-nine of the manga then there's a chance they won't be alive at the end of ALYNA.
> 
> Just wanted to give that heads up in case anyone wants to bail now. I'll post a warning at the top of any chapter with a major character death and (clearly) add that tag.

Eren stood a moment longer on the sidewalk, his brain struggling to catch up with what had happened in those last few minutes he’d spoken with Levi. He was on autopilot as he pulled out his phone and spent a few minutes staring at it trying to remember what he was going to do.

_What’s so wrong with having friends?_

_Friends die._

He shivered and remembered that he was supposed to text Jean.

 

 **[Eren:]** standing outside can you let me in?

 **[Horseface:]** Yeah, you took a bit longer than you said.

 **[Eren:]** yeah sorry

 **[Horseface:]** If I threw my keys down would you be able to let yourself in?

 **[Eren:]** are you shitting me?

 **[Horseface:]** The thought of walking up and down two flights of stairs makes me want to throw up.

 **[Eren:]** fine. front window?

 **[Horseface:]** Yeah.

Eren stood underneath the front windows of the apartment building and craned his neck upwards while shading his eyes with his hand. He had to wait a moment before he saw a window open and a set of keys get thrown down to him. He caught them and picked up the groceries again as he walked up the steps to the front door and let himself in. It was odd; he had gone in with Marco enough times that he knew that he had to jiggle the handle of the front door slightly while turning the key but this time he was walking up the stairs precisely _because_ Marco wasn’t there. And to top it off he was there to see _Jean_ and bring him food.

He remembered to give the apartment door a heavier shove when opening it and carried the groceries with him as he walked to Jean’s bedroom. The door was open and he stood in the doorway with no small amount of bafflement at the situation in which he found himself. Somehow he and Jean had become _friends._ He looked around the room in confusion – Jean wasn’t anywhere that he could see.

“Jean?”

“What? I’m right here.” Jean’s voice came from under a pile of blankets on the bed.

“I didn’t see you. You’re kinda… buried.”

“The light’s giving me a headache. Also could talk a little softer?”

“Sorry.” Eren continued at a lower volume. “Your shades are closed though.”

“And that my friend, is how awful this hangover is.”

“Ouch. I feel you there.”

“I’m betting this probably comes close to how you felt after Spring Fling our first year.”

“You know, that’s the second time that got brought up today.”

“Really? Who else brought it up?”

“Mikasa.” Jean groaned as Eren sat down on the foot of the bed.

“I’ve got the spins really bad. Please don’t shift around too much.” He groaned again. “Why did Mikasa bring it up?”

“She was wondering if I was that drunk again since we spent a good chunk of last night talking in the kitchen.”

“Wow. Good to know people are so shocked that we don’t hate each other anymore.”

“Yeah.” Eren let a few awkward seconds pass before speaking again. “So do you want some ginger ale and crackers? You need to get out from under the blanket pile.”

Jean threw off some of the blankets and sat up slowly, wincing as his eyes grew accustomed to the light. Once he was sitting in an upright position he and Eren stared at each other awkwardly. Moments ticked by as they sat still and Jean was the first to speak.

“This is _really_ weird.”

“Oh thank fucking god it’s not just me.”

“Hand me a ginger ale and some crackers?”

“Yeah.”

Eren dug around into the bag and stopped short of tossing the can and box at Jean, opting instead to simply place them on the bed before straightening up and handing them off. He watched as Jean’s face scrunched up at the sharp noise from popping the can open and he took a long drink.

“Thanks.” Jean’s voice was weak. “I needed this.”

“Have you had any water?”

“Yeah, a bit. I threw it all up almost immediately though. Some kinda fun this morning.”

“That’s really shitty. I can get you some water if you want…”

“I’ll go to the kitchen with you and make the soup. You did buy that shitty powdered stuff, right? I swear it’s like magic for hangovers.”

“Salt dehydrates you.”

“I don’t fucking know, Eren. I feel better after I eat it. My mom would make it whenever I was sick and couldn’t keep much down. Maybe it’s all my head, but I really don’t care.”

Jean pushed off the bed and dragged the blanket he had wrapped himself with him as they walked towards the kitchen.

“Your mom’s really nice."

“Yeah, she’s also really annoying. She’s always hovering. You know she used to come by at least once a week to drop off weird things like baskets of apples. Who shows up at their eighteen year-old’s college to give them _apples?_ ”

“And you were always an ass to her.” Eren pulled out a pot and clanged it down loudly on the stove, Jean winced and grabbed his head in pain.

“What the fuck, man? My head hurts.”

“Well maybe you should be nicer to your mom! Not everyone has one you fucker!”

“Stop yelling! My head hurts, asshole.”

“Fine.” Eren was seething as he put the pot under the faucet to fill. “So what your mom tries to check on you a lot? She cares about you. She brings you fucking _omelets_ during finals because she gets worried you aren’t eating enough. Appreciate the fact that you have a family that’s there backing you.”

“Yeah? And what if that family comes with having nice little talks every time they call or see you about when you’re going to bring home a nice _girl_ or settle down? Am I going to be successful with my degree? Is my future secure? Not all of us can fucking wrap ourselves in a rainbow flag and go off chasing giant squids or whatever the fuck you plan on doing.”

The only sound was the running water that was now overflowing the pot. Eren turned off the faucet and dumped most of the water back into the sink before placing it on the stove and setting it to boil. The hiss of gas flames was loud as the kitchen remained otherwise silent. Neither of them would meet the other’s eyes; Eren stared resolutely at the pot on the stove and Jean focused on the can of ginger ale in his hand.

“My mom’s dead.”

“I know… I’m sorry.” Jean sighed heavily and gave Eren an apologetic grimace. “My whole dad’s side of the family is really homophobic. I _know_ my mom will love me no matter what… but I don’t want her to say anything to my dad.”

“So it’s easier to just push both of them away?”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“You have no idea how jealous of you I was – still am – when I first met you. Jean Kirchstein with his wholesome family and his doting mother and his childhood best friend going to college with him. Jean Kirchstein whose mom brings food to his dorm when he has exams. Jean Kirchstein who _has_ a mom. It’s pretty much been just me and Mikasa for years now. I would _kill_ to have a family again.”

“It’s not exactly a picnic liking mostly guys and not being able to say shit because your dad and his family are a bunch of assholes. Then I get to watch you running headlong into everything without thinking like some kind of suicidal bastard – but you don’t _have_ to think about shit. If you want to screw half the male lab assistants in your department and major in _fish_ nobody’s there to hold you back. And _yes_ , I know that Mikasa rides you about shit but she’s more likely to be there cheering you on than giving you ‘life advice’ that’s really just them shoving what they want down my throat. Do you _really_ think I want to major in business? Who in the _fuck_ wants to major in business?”

Awkward silence settled again punctuated only by the hiss of the powdered soup being tossed into the pot. Eren focused on stirring it in and the smell of salt and chicken bouillon saturated the kitchen.

“I’m so used to being almost entirely alone that I forget that there are different ways to be alone. You’re right; I’ve never had anyone judge me for who I am and Mikasa might ride me about my safety and keeping my grades up but she never decided my life _for me_. I literally can’t imagine what that’s like. Your mother isn’t dead but I’ve never had to sit at a kitchen table every night listening to a parent talk about how disgusting gay people are.”

 _“You’ve never watched your mother die.” I could say that and this conversation would be over. It’s the trump card in this misery pissing contest. Not that it’s completely the same, but it sort of is, isn’t it? I have to think about her every day when I look in the mirror and he has to think about who he is and how_ wrong _he is to his family every time he sits down to dinner with them. But when I think of my mom I can think of happy memories, what is it like for him to think of his family? To walk through the door to his parents’ house? Is it bearable or is it living hell?_

“You’re right though, I still have my family. I should appreciate them more. I shouldn’t take them for granted.”

“NO!” Eren slammed his fists on the counter causing dishes to rattle. He turned off the gas on the stove and turned to Jean and continued in a quieter voice. “No. It doesn’t matter if they’re your blood. If they won’t fucking respect you and respect who you are and what you want even after you _tell them_ then you don’t owe them shit. Just because they’re family – parents or whatever – doesn’t mean they own you. I’m not saying that you come out to them tomorrow, but tell them who you are and if they can’t handle it then you tell them to fuck off. My friend in high school, her dad had this whole _plan_ for her. He never really asked if she wanted to be a part of it and she was too young to say any different. When she finally said she was done and she didn’t want it anymore he wouldn’t hear it. She never left because he was _family_. I haven’t heard from her since Mikasa and I left Shiganshina but I fucking wish we’d made her come with us.”

Eren took a deep breath and passed a bowl of soup to Jean at the kitchen table and sat down across from him.

“When you say stuff like that I’d think you were a psych major.”

“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and even I get sick of thinking about penises. Nah, I want to go chase narwhals. Unicorns are so last season.”

Jean rolled his eyes at Eren’s cocky smile and began to eat his soup.

“Thanks for the  _super_ upbeat pep talk Dr. Rainbow Narwhal.”


	54. Full-Time Saints Don't Exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short and the weather here is crap so there's a chance that another chapter will be out this evening but no promises. 
> 
> So I've made up my mind on one character death so far. I'm going to tag for canonical character death since yoheichou pointed out that "major character death" could be interpreted as including Levi or Eren and that is most decidedly _not_ the case. (Though I will admit that I entertained it for a brief moment)
> 
> I'm putting in a "Future Canonical Character Deaths" tag as of this chapter and I'll change it over probably the chapter before it happens and I'll be putting a warning at the top of any chapter with a death in it. Let me know if that doesn't make sense.

Over the course of the next three hours Eren and Jean had struck up conversation about fairly innocuous topics; in spite of having known each other for three years they knew almost nothing about each other. One of the first things that they discovered was that they actually liked doing a lot of the same things and that they had both been so concerned with opposing the other that they had actually missed out on a lot of great opportunities. Jean had unfettered access to the university’s film archives via his job in the library (they both loved B horror movies) and Eren had access to anywhere in both of the biology buildings, including the roof (they both loved cloud-watching to relax) but the real win out of the whole situation was knowing that they had someone to talk to about their respective so-totally-never-going-to-happen crushes.

They were still talking when Marco got back to the apartment.

Eren was the one who heard the door opening first. Jean didn’t notice immediately because he was laughing at one of Eren’s bizarre kidnapping stories, specifically the one about the second time that Vesperia kidnapped him and attempted to seduce him for reasons that he could never quite figure out. It was only when Eren tensed up at Marco’s appearance at the kitchen door that Jean turned around and saw Marco. He hung back tentatively on the other side of the doorframe.

“Hi Eren… Hi Jean.” The awkwardness was palpable as Jean gave a stiff nod and Eren whispered a quiet hello. Marco fidgeted awkwardly as Jean turned back around and gave Eren a weak smile before walking away.

“Do you have work today?” Jean looked mildly startled at Eren’s non sequitur.

“Yeah, in about two hours.”

“I wanted to be there about three hours ago –”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be. Shower and get dressed and walk over with me. You need to get out of here.”

“I’m still kind of hungover.”

“What are you going to do if you stay here? Be miserable in your room for the next two hours?”

“…hour and a half.”

“Just come to the fucking library with me.”

“Fine.”

Jean huffed and rolled his eyes before pushing his chair back and walking back to his room. Eren stayed in the kitchen a moment longer to quickly wash the pot and bowl from the soup and only left the kitchen when he heard Jean shut the bathroom door and turn the shower on. He took a deep breath and let it out before putting the sponge back and walking out of the kitchen and towards Marco’s room. He hesitated a moment before knocking on the closed door, questioning whether this was –never mind intelligent – the right course of action for him to take.

“Marco?” He knocked quietly and then again louder when he didn’t get a response. “Marco, can I talk to you for a second?”

He waited for a moment and his shoulders slumped when he didn’t get a response again.

_Marco, come on. It’s not like I’m going to chew you out or anything._

He paused, giving Marco another moment to respond before he slowly turned the doorknob hoping that it wasn’t locked and silently swearing to himself that he _would_ actually get mad at Freckled Jesus if he had actually locked it. The door opened with a creak and Marco jumped and turned around in his desk chair before pulling off his headphones.

“Eren, you scared me!” He blinked at him, trying to recover from his shock.

“Sorry.” There was a momentary awkward pause before he continued. “I wanted to talk with you about Jean for a moment if you have the time.”

“I guess, yeah.” Marco looked torn as he gestured towards the bed for Eren to take a seat.

“I just wanted to ask you what changed.”

“Between Jean and me?” He wouldn’t meet Eren’s eyes and started fiddling with a pen in his hands. “I don’t know that it’s my place to –”

“No, I already know that he likes you and you know that already.”

“It’s just that we’ve been friends for so long…”

“Yeah. So? What changed?”

“He told me he’s in love with me.” Marco’s eyebrows came together in confusion. “That’s a pretty big change.”

“And he’s been in love with you for years. The only reason he’s acting any different is because you are. Yeah, you rejected him and he’s going to mope about that for a few days but he’s spent the past how many years loving you and you never knew. If he kept acting the exact same way what really changes?”

“I know that he’s in love with me.”

“So? I’m not saying don’t put a little distance between the two of you until you get used to it. I’m just saying that you’ve been best friends since you were little and I don’t get how you can just throw that away completely.”

“It’s _awkward,_ Eren.”

“And you’re making it worse by avoiding him. It’s almost October and you’re going to have to live with each other until May. Can you really go on like this for the next seven or eight months?”

Marco gave him a slightly pained look that resolved into discomfort.

“I have to get back to this. It’s due at the end of tomorrow.” Eren stared at him, lips parted in shock and Marco turned back to his computer. “I’ll think about what you said, but I’m already really stressed with school work right now, okay?”

“Right. Yeah. I’ll let you get back to work.”

Eren walked stiffly towards the door and shut it with a little bit more force than was absolutely necessary. _I guess you can’t be Freckled Jesus all the time, can you?_

______

The shower seemed to have rinsed away the last of Jean’s hangover. Eren didn’t mention his conversation with Marco as they walked to the library. Instead he tried to steer their conversation as far away from Marco as possible. They ended up parting ways at the library when they saw Connie and Sasha sitting over by the library café. Jean was only in the library to wait out the time until his shift started while Eren was there to work on research for his thesis and attempt to make up for the time he had lost. He had already accepted that he was probably going to be at the library until relatively late in the evening given the delay; one that he found he didn’t regret in the slightest. He headed towards the biology periodicals section of the library and cursed the fact that it was on the fifth floor and that the elevator seemed to be stuck on the eighth. He let out a long sigh as he began the trudge up the stairs.


	55. Nickels and Groceries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, two chapters in one day! Though, the first was a transition and this one's a lead-in but uh... next chapter is Eren talking about Grisha and Shiganshina so yeah. I'm going to be in NYC for most of tomorrow and down the shore all the day after so the next chapter probably won't be up until Thursday or Friday.
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning: If you super don't like needles there are like, two sentences where Hanji takes a sample of Eren's blood. Nothing major, but I wanted to give a heads up on that. I'm not too good with needles myself.**

Eren was on one of the library computers going through the marine biology databases. He had a small stack of books and photocopied articles sitting next to him as he saved PDFs of journal articles to read at home. He was finally at a point where even another cup of coffee wasn’t going to keep him focused on the words in front of him. He had texted Mikasa hours ago telling her that he would be home late and now he was at a point where he just couldn’t bear to stay any longer. He was trying to shove everything into his bag when his cellphone buzzed.

 **[Hanji:]** Okay, now I don’t want to hound you but I finally have a free day tomorrow and I’d really appreciate it if you came by to talk with me and Levi. I’ll buy whatever takeout you want.

He stared at the message a little bit before a small grin crept across his face.

 **[Eren:]** let me make dinner. i'll bring stuff with me and cook there if that’s okay. just you and levi?

 **[Hanji:]** Oooo, you cook? Don’t feel like you have to. We’re the ones questioning you, if anything we owe you food.

 **[Eren:]** yeah but i kinda told levi that i'd only talk if i got to make him dinner. he can’t avoid me this way.

 **[Hanji:]** You’re devious. I like the way you think. I’ll pick you up tomorrow and we’ll go grocery shopping. I’ll tell Levi to come by later.

 **[Hanji:]** Wait. Why are you making him dinner? Come on, spill.

 **[Eren:]** i convinced him to drive me to the grocery store today and he eats entirely canned and frozen food? i offered to cook and he shot me down but said i could cook if i talk and he can’t get out of it if it’s right there.

 **[Hanji:]** You’re so cute. Your apartment at 5pm tomorrow?

 **[Eren:]** 5.30… i have class until 5.15

 **[Hanji:]** Where is your class?

 **[Eren:]** i can walk back to my own apartment. i have two legs, gonna get fat if people keep driving me everywhere

 **[Hanji:]** Fiiiiiiiiiine. See you 5.30 at your apartment. I’ll tell Levi to show up tomorrow around 7.

Eren stared at the phone in his hand with an amused grin on his face before pocketing it giving up on shoving all of the books in his bag and carrying half of the stack he had pulled. He headed downstairs to leave the library, his back aching from the weight of his bag.

 _Priority number one: get home without something awful happening. Priority two: sleep. Priority three: some sort of food would be nice._ He walked out of the library and down the street half a block to the bus shelter. He shivered slightly in the late evening chill and looked around. There were still a lot of people milling around in spite of the late hour so he felt completely safe taking the bus, but at this point he wasn’t going to even attempt to push his luck and walk home. He half expected Levi to show up and tell him that he would be driving him home but Levi was either keeping his distance or not in the area. He checked his phone at least ten times before it showed up and was more annoyed than he would be normally that it showed up five minutes late.

 _Having a driver’s license and a car_ would _be kinda nice but how they heck am I supposed to practice driving? No way is Connie letting me anywhere near his car and I don’t think I could handle being in Krista’s car, I do_ not _need to think about whose bodily fluids are where in that thing. I guess that leaves… Jean? How many friend points do you need to build up before you get permission to ask a friend to borrow their car to learn to drive?_

Eren was almost a nickel short when he got on the bus to pay but was saved by the girl who was in front of him. He thanked her profusely but realized his mistake when she sat down next to him and started touching his arm and flirting.

_Oh god I just want to be home._

______

Thankfully he had slept well the night before and he was able to distract himself from the fact that he was going to be interrogated about Grisha by thinking about making dinner. He had no idea if either Levi or Hanji had any foods they couldn’t eat and tried to make only vague plans for what he would cook. Either way, that and classes kept him distracted enough that he wasn’t stressed about meeting up with Hanji until he was sitting on the stoop waiting for them to show up. He inhaled the cool air deeply; fall was in the air. He had a tiny moment of panic when an unfamiliar car pulled up right in front of their building but realized quickly that it was Hanji and that they were driving their own car and not the Survey Corps one. It was definitely newer than Levi’s but he couldn’t place the model and it had no badges on it.

“Eren, hello!” They were grinning and beckoned him over to get in the car.

“Hi? So where are we going for groceries?” He hopped in the car and buckled his seatbelt.

“Well what are you making?”

“Um… I have no idea? Are there things you can’t eat?”

“You’re so adorable, thinking about what foods people might not be able to eat. Neither of us have any dietary restrictions but I will tell you that Levi doesn’t like fancy lettuces.”

“Fancy lettuces?”

“Anything that isn’t iceberg or romaine lettuce I think.”

“Okay well I definitely can’t afford anything nicer than iceberg so I think he’s okay there.”

“Oh no, Eren _I’m_ paying. You’re making dinner and talking about something you really don’t want to. I can at least pay for groceries.”

“…thanks, Hanji.”

“No problem. Get whatever you want and make enough for leftovers to bring home.”

 

Their grocery shopping excursion had taken a little bit longer than he expected since Hanji had insisted on looking at the ingredients list on some packages. Eren quickly decided that he never wanted to go grocery shopping with Hanji again unless he wanted to know all of the carcinogenic ingredients present in frozen desserts. He had been slightly confused when they drove off in a different direction from the headquarters of the Survey Corps but Hanji intercepted his question before he could even vocalize it.

“We’re going back to my apartment. Levi and I live closer to each other than headquarters and I think you could do with a more relaxed atmosphere.”

“That sounds… really nice actually.”

“I do have one request though. I’d like to take a blood sample for my research. I’ve told you it’s –”

“About cortisol levels associated with prolonged direct exposure to superhero-supervillain conflicts in a civilian capacity. Yeah.” Hanji beamed at him.

“Do you mind? I only need two 5mL tubes. I’ll do it as soon as we’re inside so we can just be done with it and you can get on to cooking and I’d like to get another set before you leave if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that sounds fine to me.”

“You’re so much more cooperative than everyone else. I practically have to get Levi and Erwin to hold Mike down to get any samples from him.”

True to their word, they had barely dropped the grocery bags in the kitchen when Hanji was making him sit down at the kitchen table and asking him to stick his arm out. Eren winced slightly as the needle pricked his skin and looked away until Hanji was done. He left his sweatshirt off as he began to set up for cooking. Hanji pointed out where everything was and jokingly asked if he wanted an apron; they were amused when he took them up on their offer. He focused on chopping and slicing and browning and Hanji moved into what he assumed _would_ have been the dining room but was actually just a massive table covered in papers and electronics and began to type things up, occasionally calling out to him to ask questions about whether or not he had chickenpox when he was a kid or spent more than two months living in a rural area at any point in his life. Eventually their questions petered out and they were left with the white noise of a clacking keyboard and the sizzling hiss of meat frying. Eren had gotten so relaxed cooking that he didn’t notice that Levi had come in until he was walking into the kitchen with Hanji.

“They put you up to this didn’t they?” Levi shifted his glare between Eren and Hanji.

“Nope! It was all Eren. He’s worried that you eat like shit – you do, don’t deny it – so he wanted to make dinner for all of us.” Eren was waiting for Levi to make some sort of rude comment but it never came, instead –

“It smells good.”


	56. The Tip of the Iceberg Lettuce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was an unexpected (and unexpectedly long) hiatus. I've been busy dealing with things and also Things. I don't go by "mybrainproblems" for no reason but I'm doing a bit better and all that jazz. It's not like I stopped writing entirely, ALYNA just kinda became a bit too much for a bit. 
> 
> I started up the Cheesy Tropes Challenge to keep things interesting for me since each fill is small. Writing is therapeutic for me, so starting a laid back project that is the exact opposite of ALYNA and allows me to write multiple pairings in multiple fandoms is really good. Rather than stringing along this massive behemoth of a plot I do things like an Idol/Fan AU where Moblit is a cardigan wearing nerd with a crush on Hanji, the guitarist for a grunge band. I love ALYNA to pieces and it's my baby, but sometimes I need to take a break and write some trashy smut or some straight-up goofy shit for a little while.
> 
> So thanks for hanging in there while I took that sudden hiatus. I'm probably going to be away from the 22nd to the 28th, basically I'm going to post another chapter or two after this one and then disappear again for week since I'm going to be on the Cape and probably without a laptop.
> 
>  **Final thing:** This is unedited barring a very quick once over. Taking two weeks away from a halfway-finished chapter was really difficult and I ended up scrapping a ton and nearly re-writing it. I need to get this out there to regain my momentum. Sorry it kinda sucks.

“It smells good.” Eren smiled. _Fuck yeah!_ “Looks like shit though. What is it?” _You couldn’t just leave it at the compliment, could you?_

 “Levi!” Hanji crossed their arms and gave him a disapproving look. He stared back at them for a moment before they gave up and left the room.

“It’s lamb stew. It’s sort of my great-grandma’s recipe but it never got written down and I never really learned how to make it so I had to figure it out by taste.” Eren paused a moment and gave the stew another slow stir. “It’s not as good as my mom’s.” _Way to make yourself depressed. Good going, Eren._

“People have a habit of remembering things as better or worse than they were. I’m sure it’s just as good.”

Eren froze for a moment before whipping his head back to stare at Levi. Except that by the time he had turned he was looking at an empty kitchen; Levi had gone into Hanji’s dining room office. He frowned and turned back to the stove, putting the cover back on the pot and setting up another pot for rice.

_Make up your fucking mind, Levi._

______

It was one of the more balanced meals that Eren had eaten recently. The lamb stew was basic and very good but Eren was certain (in spite of Levi’s odd attempt at comforting him) that it wasn’t as good as his mother’s. The rice was a little on the dry side but at least the iceberg lettuce and tomatoes were fresh. Stilted silence settled as they began to eat and Eren wondered if they were going to start questioning him while they ate – he hoped they did. It would be far easier to talk if he knew he could hide behind his fork if things got too difficult.

“This is really good, Eren! We should hire you to cook for us.”

“Thanks, Hanji…”

“I know it’s not exactly good dinner conversation, but is it okay if we start talking?” Hanji looked at Eren, a frown of concern on their face.

“I think I’d prefer we talk about it now.”

“Now remember that if there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable you can tell us and we’ll take a break. I’m also going to be taking some notes, okay?”

“Yeah. That works, that’s fine.” Hanji stood up to get a notepad from their office and Eren glanced over at Levi; he hadn’t expected him to say much but he had been dead silent since they sat down to eat. He seemed to be staring at his plate lost in thought and pushing his salad around. Eren was about to open his mouth to say _something_ when Hanji came back in with a notepad and a pen.

“Eren, some of these are going to be really basic questions. We’ve asked some before and I know they’re going to seem really obvious and silly but we just want to make sure we’re all on the same page okay?” They looked to Eren for confirmation.

“Yeah, just go for it.”

“We know that your father is Grisha Jaeger and that he worked as a doctor the South Stationary district of Shiganshina and was an assistant in a lab for a few years. We don’t have very much information on his work. Is there anything that you remember about what he might have done? As a doctor or in the lab; we have very little to go off of.”

“Um. He was always a doctor even when he was working at the lab. I think he saw it as a calling or whatever – helping make people healthy.”

“And his work at the lab?”

“Something with vaccines. I don’t know why the hell I remember but it was something to do with making them more stable so they could travel better. He was really fucking passionate about vaccines.” Hanji’s head snapped up from their notes and he shifted uncomfortably under their intense gaze.

“What do you mean when you say he was passionate about vaccines?”

“He wanted people not to get sick in the first place. It’s really not all that weird. All the doctors who worked in South Stationary were big into vaccinations. We had two major flu outbreaks when I was little… a lot of people got sick and some people died. Then there was another after…” he trailed off and paused. “When I was fourteen there was another. The first one was when I was nine and the second was when I was eleven.” _The winter before he walked out._

“So did these other doctors work at the lab with your father then? Were they working on vaccines for the people living in South Stationary?”

“ _No._ None of what the lab was doing had anything to do with South Stationary. They worked on… malaria vaccines? I’ve tried to remember so hard and I know they were trying to improve the serum so that it traveled better in hotter climates.”

It was the beginning of a circular conversation. Hanji kept trying to steer it back to South Stationary while he tried to explain that it made _sense_ for doctors to put such a heavy emphasis on preventative care in a community where people lived so close together. It was a place where the doctors had to push so hard against flu outbreaks because the support infrastructure just wasn’t there; preventative _and_ reactive.

But he also knew that the drive to vaccinate had as much to do with stereotyping as it did with a desire to help. Very few families were made up of recent immigrants by the time Eren was a child, but the prejudice from when South Stationary was made largely of recent immigrants remained. He'd heard it all; they were dirty, they didn’t take care of their health, they had poor hygiene – somehow these prejudices and stereotypes continued even as his grandparents’ generation died off. His mother remembered the “health visits” and in retrospect, Eren could recognize that she mildly resented his father’s constant insistence on check-ups and vaccines and medicine in place of family remedies. Not that she was against science and medicine, but it still must have rankled with the memories of her own childhood coming in sharp and at the forefront of her mind.

Trying to explain all of this though, to someone who wasn’t familiar with the place, the mindset was difficult.

“So the vaccines that he was working on for the lab, he never –”

“No! Why would he be giving anti-malaria vaccines to people living in Shiganshina? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Eren, I’m just asking if there is a possibility that he was –”

“A possibility that what? That he was experimenting on people living in South Stationary? That the other four doctors who worked with patients in South Stationary were in on it too even though he was the only one who worked in the lab? No.”

Eren was glowering at Hanji, daring them to say more. They sighed deeply and stood up.

“I’m going to make some tea. Levi?”

“Yeah, make me a cup.” Eren started slightly, it was the first thing Levi had said in the last two hours.

“Eren?”

“I’m fine.” _Why am I defending him? I don’t know what the fuck he was doing or if he was experimenting on people or if he was actually working on improving serums for vaccines. What the fuck has me defending him now?_

He stared at his fists resting on the table, clenched them tighter as he grit his teeth in frustration.

“Why am I defending him…?” The question came out whisper soft as Eren’s body tensed further. “I don’t know what the hell he was doing, I was twelve when he left. I don’t remember shit.”

“Because you don’t want him to be a monster.”

“Huh?” He looked at Levi confusedly for a brief moment before he realized that he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

“It’s easier to have him be the asshole who up and left one day than have him be a monster who experimented on the people who he was supposed to be helping. That’s why you’re defending him.”

“I don’t have any proof that he didn’t do anything.”

“Do you have proof that he did?”

“…no.” Eren frowned deeply. “I don’t have evidence either way. So I really don’t know what the truth is.”

“For what it’s worth, from what you’ve said and from what we’ve been able to find out, he seems like he was just a grade A asshole who walked out on his family.”

“Aren’t you guys talking to me because you _can’t_ find out anything about him?”

“I’ve met monsters. He isn’t one.”


	57. The Name Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot plot plot plot plot. Also: Levi continues to be nice, what even?
> 
> This might be the last chapter until next week since I'm leaving wicked early Saturday morning and won't be back until Thursday afternoon / evening and I have no idea what my internet access is going to be like.

_“I’ve met monsters. He isn’t one.”_

Levi’s pronouncement continued to run through his head even as Hanji returned to the table with three mugs of tea. Even though Eren had declined initially he found himself appreciative of it as he sipped it; whatever tea it was, it was very soothing. Hanji sat down and they all remained in a temporary silence and Eren avoided looking at Hanji in the hopes that they would drop their previous line of questioning.

“Okay, what would make this a lot easier is if you could remember the exact name of the lab that your father worked for. If I can get that I can start to sort through what they were doing and figure out if there’s any relationship between your fa – Grisha’s work at the lab and him leaving.”

_Wow, I didn’t expect that they would remember that I prefer to have him be called Grisha… though I guess I did throw a fit the other day when Commander Handsome brought him up and said he ‘disappeared’ rather than left. That’s… really impressive that they remembered though._

“The name of the lab he worked for? You couldn’t figure it out?”

“You didn’t exactly give us much to go on the other night. Starts with ‘C’ and maybe has an ‘R’ in it isn’t all that helpful.”

“How many labs that work on vaccines and whose names start with ‘C’ are in Shiganshina?”

“There’s only one right now; Creek Labs. Ten years ago there were two more in addition to it.” Hanji flipped back through their notepad. There was a Corso Research Facility and – this one doesn’t have an ‘R’ in it – Campbell Industries. All three of them worked on vaccination research or manufacturing. Do any of those names sound familiar?”

“No… well, Corso does but only because our neighbor worked as a custodian there.”

“So none of those are where your father worked?” Hanji was staring at their notes and flipping through, clearly becoming frustrated. “You’re _absolutely sure?_ ”

“Did any of them have offices on the border of South Stationary and Eastside Park?”

“So you’ve been there? You were _at_ the labs?” Hanji was looking at him excitedly.

“Yeah, but it was only once and my memory is really fuzzy. I think I was about five or six then.”

“But you remember that it was on the border of those two districts?”

“I remember going to the park after so it must have been close enough to walk. The park is really big though and it’s a pretty long border between the two districts. Were any of those labs there?”

“Nope. Creek was Downtown but moved to Westview recently and the other two were in South End.” They were grinning widely and Eren couldn’t help but be puzzled.

“Those are all at least five miles from where I remember the lab being.”

“Exactly. Whatever lab it was clearly was _very_ small and working under the radar.” Eren’s stomach plummeted. _He’s not a monster. He can’t be a monster._

“Were there any labs in that area? Whether they started with ‘C’ or not.”

He watched as Hanji opened up their laptop and felt his heart pounding and nausea taking over. _Please let there be something, please…_

“Capitol Medical Manufacturing has an office right on Eastside Park, but they were administration and sales. There was a Sentinel Testing that was along the border but pretty far into South Stationary…” Hanji had frozen looking at their notes. “They closed up that facility about two months after Grisha left.”

“That seems like too much of a coincidence.” Eren’s voice was hopeful even though he couldn’t figure out what he was feeling. Relief that Grisha hadn’t been working for a shady lab that didn’t exist, additional nausea that the facility would close up shortly after Grisha left, fear about what they had been working on.

“But clearly you didn’t look into them since it didn’t fit the description. So we can’t really be sure that’s the right place.” Eren’s head jerked towards Levi as he spoke, his silence had made Eren forget that he was present at all.

“Let me pull up what I can right now.”

“Where would we be without Google?” In spite of the seriousness of the situation Eren had to suppress a smile at Levi’s sarcasm.

“It looks like they were a small testing facility that processed urine and blood samples for Shiganshina City Hospital. They went out of business because the hospital built a new wing to bring all of their processing in-house. They hired most of the staff from the labs that they contracted with when they closed. I’m still going to look into this but if Grisha worked there… well, there’s a chance that I jumped the gun on the vaccine thing. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just… I don’t think he would be experimenting on people who he was trying to help. He was a bit of a shit parent but he was pretty dedicated to serving the community.”

“Okay, well I’ll look into the South Stationary-Eastside Park area to see if there’s anything I missed. I’ll look a bit more closely at labs that didn’t deal with vaccines since it looks like Sentinel is a good bet even though it meets none of the criteria you gave us.”

“Sorry about that, I really thought that it started with a ‘C’ but I _know_ he did something with vaccines.”

“I’ll definitely be casting a wider net this time around. It’s just that there are actually a lot of labs in Shiganshina so I was trying to narrow things down based on what you gave us. Having a specific region now makes it a bit easier.”

“Still… I’m sorry for not remembering things properly.”

“Human memory is a faulty thing. Don’t worry about it, Eren. We all make mistakes.”

Eren sat back as Hanji began to tap away at their laptop and started slightly when Levi reached to grab his plate as he began to clear the table. He watched as Levi slowly began to wash the dishes and place them in the drying rack, it was quickly filling up en though he hadn’t even started on the pots that Eren had used to cook everything. He felt awkward simply sitting at the table while Hanji was clearly absorbed in their research and got up to start drying dishes.

The sound of running water and rhythmic scrubbing was soothing, as was the repetitive motion of drying the dishes. His mind began to calm down from his previously keyed up and nervous state and he turned over Levi’s words again.

_“I’ve met monsters. He isn’t one.” What kind of monsters have you met, Levi? Have you fought supervillains who were monsters? No, I’ve been following the Survey Corps for ages… I can’t think of any truly monstrous villains they’ve dealt with. At least nothing like someone experimenting on an entire district of people they’re supposed to be helping. Does the guy who controls the Military Police count as a monster? The Titans are monsters, aren’t they? How many of them have they dealt with? Are they the monsters he’s met?_

Levi finished the last pot and handed it off to Eren to dry.

_What qualifies as monstrous?_

He was startled out of his thoughts by Levi snapping his fingers in front of his face.

“I think that pot is dry enough.” Eren stared at the now-dry pot that he was continuing to rub at.

“Right, just lost in thought.”

“You shouldn’t force your memories.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even if you’re angry with him, you want so badly for Grisha to have done nothing wrong. There are shades of gray, kid. Just because he worked somewhere shady doesn’t mean he was a monster. Don’t force your mind into remembering things that aren’t real. You sounded pretty sure that the lab’s name started with a ‘C’ and that maybe it had an ‘R’ in it the other night. Don’t convince yourself otherwise because it looks like there’s a convenient solution that absolves Grisha of any guilt. He doesn’t have to be innocent to not be a monster.”

“So you think I remembered it right the other night?”

“You sounded at least a little confident then, now you sound like a yes man. Just run through it in your head; what words sound familiar?”

 

They ended up leaving shortly after finishing the dishes since Hanji was clearly engrossed in their research again. Hanji barely acknowledged their departure, giving Eren and Levi a half-hearted wave; they didn’t even look up from their laptop as the both of them walked out the door. Eren knew that he was supposed to be the one taking the leftovers home with him but was already planning to “accidentally” leave them in Levi’s car. They drove in silence down River Road to avoid the construction on Washington. The poorly lit road swallowed them in darkness and Eren stared out the window at the moonlight bouncing off the river.

He frowned at his reflection in the window and closed his eyes, trying to run through words and willing himself to relax.

_Corso… Creek… Crestor… car… carbon.. cardiovascular… Carlisle… carrot… cor… cordon off… Cordyline stricta…  Corbin… Court… curt… cro… Croton… Crohn’s…_

“Cronus.” Eren opened his eyes and turned to look at Levi. “The lab was called Cronus.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a lot of people have brought up Hanji's research and Eren having magic blood or whatever and I just want to give you a cool tidbit and tell you that Hanji's research is based on an actual real world study on cortisol levels.
> 
> I'm linking two articles that are really interesting and I highly recommend reading them because holy shit it's crazy fucked up but anyway, the short version:
> 
> Cortisol is a stress hormone and prolonged elevated and irregular levels cause a lot of cardiovascular health issues. Someone like Eren who gets kidnapped a lot and is under a lot of stress would probably have elevated and irregular cortisol levels; potentially even when he isn't in a stressful situation. Also he comes from a low-income background and guess what? Being poor is really stressful.
> 
> But you know what else is really stressful? Institutionalized racism.
> 
> There was a study that found that institutionalized racism is so stressful that it causes legitimate and serious health issues. It is super insidious and fucked up. The original study was focused on women of African Carribean descent in the US and just wow. Seriously, look into it. I'm linking one really science-y thing and another that's a bit easier to grasp.
> 
>    
> [Boston Globe Article](http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2007/07/15/how_racism_hurts____literally/?page=full)  
> [Really science-y powerpoint about the study including some data and the methodology](http://www.slideshare.net/trthompson/internalized-racism-and-its-effect-on-cortisol-levels-4939095)  
> 


	58. Beneath the Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all better appreciate that I wrote half of this chapter on my phone at the beach. It's not quite as polished as it could be but idgaf right now. I want to post before it stagnates because hey, I clearly have another chapter to write that is the counterpoint to chapter fifty-seven (The Name Game)
> 
> I didn't intend for Levi's counterpoint for the conversation about Grisha and shit to also be two chapters but oh well. There's a lot of mood shit going on.
> 
> Oh and wryers made me some [more awesome fan art](http://wryers.tumblr.com/post/94758567603/was-chatting-with-mybrainproblems-about-alyna-and) (that is probably the only ereri action that's happening for _a while_ )

Levi wasn’t entirely sure why he was there.

Yes, he had promised the kid that he would be, but he couldn’t tell you why he promised that to begin with. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he empathized with the kid. He looked at him and saw a younger and less fucked up version of himself. When he was the kid’s age he had blood on his hands as he clawed for his own survival.

At the kid’s age he’d only just – _No._

On the other side of Hanji’s door something smelled good. They’d said that there would be food but he assumed it would be the usual beer and shitty Chinese take away from down the street and not whatever this was. Hanji’s grin was wider than usual when they answered the door.

“Something smells edible. Clearly you aren’t cooking.”

Hanji laughed and waived him inside. He paused a moment to remove his shoes and jacket before following them into the kitchen. As he walked up behind Hanji he saw that it was the kid who was cooking.

“They put you up to this didn’t they?” Given the look that the kid gave them he had been too absorbed in cooking to notice that anyone else had entered the kitchen.

“Nope! It was all Eren. He’s worried that you eat like shit – you do, don’t deny it – so he wanted to make dinner for all of us.” He could see the uncertainty on the kid’s face, slight nervousness as he avoided Levi’s eyes; they both knew exactly why he was cooking dinner.

“It smells good.” He watched the kid’s face start to light up. _No, I’m not fucking happy about this kid. I don’t like being forced into things._ “It looks like shit though.”

“Levi!” He caught but ignored Hanji’s disapproving look and was about to follow them into their office but the kid started to talk before he had a chance to start moving away.

“It’s lamb stew. It’s sort of my great-grandma’s recipe but it never got written down and I never really learned how to make it so I had to figure it out by taste… It’s not as good as my mom’s.” Something about the kid’s tone caught him and he was halfway done before he realized he had even started talking.

“People have a habit of remembering things as better or worse than they were. I’m sure it’s just as good.”

Rather than stick around and deal with whatever came out of the kid’s mouth after that, Levi turned abruptly and walked across the kitchen to Hanji’s office.

“Hanji, why the hell are you having the brat cook dinner?”

“Apparently _someone_ said they would let him cook dinner for them if he sat down and answered some questions. He was smart enough to realize that _whoever it was_ wouldn’t hold up their end of the bargain unless they were forced to.” Hanji gave him a pointed look, daring him to refute their statement. He glared and sat down heavily in the chair across from them.

“He has a crush on me. I’m not encouraging him.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to be friendly.”

“He said he wants to be friends.”

“So?”

“I don’t want friends.”

“What about me? What about Mike and Erwin?”

“You’re the exception to rule. Mike and Erwin are…” he paused and looked away. “I trust them.”

“So you’ve got one friend and two people who you trust. No room in there for Eren?”

“No.” Levi looked up at Hanji and gave them a frigid glare. They took the hint and changed the topic.

“So what I’m really hoping to find out tonight is _where_ Eren’s father worked before he disappeared, ideally _what_ he did as well but if he disappeared when Eren was young then he probably won’t remember much of anything.”

“In case you don’t remember the shit fit he threw the other night, you’re going to want to ask about _Grisha_ and what happened before he _left._ Unless you want him to clam again.”

“And you say you don’t care.”

“I try to remember things that make people easier to deal with, easier to manipulate them into answering the questions that need answering.”

“That’s cynical… even for you.” Hanji was looking directly at Levi now, concern evident on their face. He refused to meet their eyes, instead focusing on an imperfection in the wood of the table they were sitting at.

He didn’t process that the kid had finished making dinner until Hanji laid a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

 

The food was good and he honestly appreciated it. Maybe he’d tell the kid how much he appreciated it if there was a moment where it couldn’t be seen as anything other than a basic thank you. There was nothing he wanted less than to have it misconstrued as some sort of an effort on his part to become friends. It was a social nicety, not an actual show of kindness.

_Is it really so hard for people to grasp that I just want to be left alone?_

He wasn’t paying attention to whatever Hanji and the kid were doing. He knew that they were talking and that it was an easy conversation between the two of them. They left to get their notepad and laptop and Levi simply sat with his thoughts.

_At least Hanji told the kid to get iceberg and not that fancy-ass arugula shit._

He pulled back himself back from his thoughts and into the current discussion. He had been halfway listening to the kid trying to explain what it was like to live in a place like South Stationary; what it was like to have the whole world stacked against you. Hanji was good at asking the right questions but right now it was clear that they were pushing the kid away.

_Hanji, drop the vaccine bullshit. I don't give a shit if any of it is true, you're just freaking the kid out. He's going to clam again if you keep this up._

The next moment he was able he caught Hanji's eye and gave them a look. It was wordless communication based on years of working together. He knew the kid had reached his limit and as much as Hanji might think they were onto something, he could see it was beginning to take too much of a toll on the kid for them to pursue it. Hanji let out a frustrated sigh to let him know they disagreed with the interruption but honored it nonetheless. He knew that Hanji was already starting to defer to him when the kid was involved. They of all people would be able to put together their similarities and extrapolate the empathy that he didn't want to admit.

Levi hadn't expected Hanji to suddenly offer tea, but it would definitely give them all a chance to regroup their thoughts. He knew what the kid needed to hear, knew that Hanji was probably a bit off-base with their assumptions. He knew monsters; had seen them, had worked with them, had lived with them. Grisha Jaeger was many things, but Levi seriously doubted that he was a monster.

He watched as the kid got more and more tense sitting at the table. He knew that Hanji would make him a cup of tea regardless of the fact that he had turned it down.  The kid was on the verge of completely losing it and this was exactly why Hanji would normally be the person who is was absolutely best for Eren to meet with; Levi didn’t _do_ feelings or comforting people. So he was stuck wondering what the hell you were supposed to do for an emotional twenty-one year-old on the verge of a meltdown. He was weighing his options when he heard the kid whispering to himself. Well, it would be whispering for anyone else, for him it was clear as day.

“Why am I defending him…? I don’t know what the hell he was doing, I was twelve when he left. I don’t remember shit.”

_Okay, this is emotional bullshit I can handle._

“Because you don’t want him to be a monster.”

“Huh?” _Oh for fuck’s sake kid… I have better-than-human hearing. Weren’t you a fanboy at some point?_

“It’s easier to have him be the asshole who up and left one day than have him be a monster who experimented on the people who he was supposed to be helping. That’s why you’re defending him.

“I don’t have any proof that he didn’t do anything.”

“Do you have proof that he did?”

“…no.”

“For what it’s worth, from what you’ve said and from what we’ve been able to find out, he seems like he was just a grade A asshole who walked out on his family.”

“Aren’t you guys talking to me because you _can’t_ find out anything about him?”

“I’ve met monsters. He isn’t one.”

_Please let me be right._


	59. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what sucks? Having to change all the fucking paragraph and italicization formatting for a chapter on a phone. It took me about thirty minutes to format this whole chapter. That is how much I love you and how much I love ALYNA. Sorry if there are any huge formatting screw-ups. Blame the "only on a phone" thing.
> 
> PS: Levi is such an ass but I can't help but love him because he's all kinds of royally fucked up when it comes to friends and shit. Baby needs a hug.

Levi had intended to simply calm the kid down in the onslaught of Hanji’s questions, but it soon became clear that when Levi had said “not a monster” the kid had taken it as “completely innocent.” He was beyond frustrated as the kid backtracked on almost everything he had said previously and that Hanji was allowing him to do it. He could easily attribute Hanji’s willingness to listen to the kid’s changing story to their desire to explore all possible alternatives but, Levi knew exactly why the kid was willing to backtrack and it had nothing to do with faulty memory.

_We don't live in a black and white world, kid. Your dad can be guilty and not be a monster. Life is complicated. You know that but you just can’t fucking let go of that little piece of hope, can you? A little part of you wants him to be completely innocent. Nobody is completely fucking innocent._

As Hanji went to whatever part of their mind that handled processing and researching their theories Levi moved to the kitchen to clean. Hanji would never do it themselves and the kid had cooked dinner. As much of an asshole as Levi was, he wasn’t an unfair one. On the other hand, he also knew that the kid would probably seek him out and join him. He worked through the stack of dirty dishes slowly, giving the kid time to decide that occupying himself and potentially talking to Levi was preferable to Hanji’s intense silence. Levi lack tact and social grace but he was hardly a social idiot; he understood people well and the kid might as well have been an open book to him.

Levi had worked through most of the dishes by the time the kid came into the kitchen. He paused to allow the kid to dry half of the dishes in the draining board before continuing with the rest. He watched as the kid calmed down and was lost in his own thoughts, the tension in his body draining as he worked through the mindless task of drying dishes. It was only when his shoulders finally relaxed fully that Levi spoke.

“I think that pot is dry enough.” The kid stared blankly at Levi a moment before looking down at the pot in his hands.

“Right, just lost in thought.” _No shit._

“You shouldn’t force your memories.”

“What do you mean?” _Are you shitting me kid? This entire evening?_

“Even if you’re angry with him, you want so badly for Grisha to have done nothing wrong. There are shades of gray, kid. Just because he worked somewhere shady doesn’t mean he was a monster. Don’t force yourself into remembering things that aren’t real. You sounded pretty sure the lab’s name started with a ‘C’ and that it maybe had an ‘R’ in it the other night. Don’t convince yourself otherwise because it looks like there’s a convenient solution that absolves Grisha of any guilt. He doesn’t have to be innocent to not be a monster.”

“So you think I remembered it right the other night?”

“You sounded at least a little confident then, now you sound like a yes man. Just run through it in your head; what words sound familiar?”

They lapsed into silence again and Levi let it go. Hanji was so engrossed in their work that Levi didn’t even bother saying good bye, simply telling them that they should lock the door after they left. He knew they would probably forget, but it was worth a shot. The walk down the stairs and to Levi’s car was silent, as was the drive. He never felt any need to fill silence with words just for the sake of sound and he was especially unwilling to break the silence when the kid was (hopefully) trying to think. He watched out of the corner of his eye as they drove, willing the kid to remember something useful. They were halfway down River Road when the kid turned to face him.

“Cronus. The lab was called Cronus.” _Good job, kid._ He allowed himself a tiny smile under the cover of darkness in the car.

“You sure you’re not making things up again? Don’t think you need to remember it right now just because. I don’t have a gun to your head.”

“It was Cronus. I’m almost positive.”

“Well unless you’re completely positive…” He trailed off and watched the kid gape at him and then start to glare. “That was a joke. I make those sometimes.”

“That was a really shitty joke.”

“Sometimes I tell shit jokes.”

“Tell me one then.”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“You wouldn’t appreciate it.”

"I wouldn’t appreciate a shit joke. Seriously?”

"Yeah. Too refined for a shitty brat.”

“So was that a shit joke?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?” Levi kept his deadpan in place as he chanced a look at the kid in the passenger’s seat. His face looked like he couldn’t decide between exasperation or fury. He huffed and turned back to look out the window.

“You’re an asshole.”

“No fucking shit.”

The silence only lasted a moment before the kid turned back.

“Why are you such an asshole all the time? Don’t you want people to like you? Even a little bit?”

“I’m an asshole because I want people to stay away from me.”

“The other day you said that ‘friends die’ but that’s bullshit. Everyone dies, whether you’re friends or not isn’t going to stop them from dying.” Levi’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and then loosened.

"Why don’t heroes get involved with people romantically? Because their partner is a liability. Anybody you’re close with is a liability. I don’t like having liabilities, it’s that simple.”

“You said Hanji is your friend. Are they a liability?”

“Hanji is fellow superhero. They can take care of themselves.”

“But somebody who doesn’t have superpowers or crazy science or whatever the fuck is so weak that they’re always a liability?”

“Yes.” _Drop it, kid. Leave it alone._

"So I’m a liability.”

"You would be if I gave a shit.”

Eren looked like he’d been punched and Levi was doing his damnedest to ignore the way he was looking at him. He wasn’t going to look at him; he didn’t want to see the hurt and the frustration and the disappointment.

_Heroes don’t lash out. Heroes aren’t assholes. Heroes are friendly. Heroes let people in._

He could run through a whole list of what heroes were and were not and a hell of a lot of his particular character traits would be in the "not hero" category. It was just one more thing he had made peace with.

_I’m no hero. Just a wolf in sheep’s clothing._


	60. Whisky Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so hilariously enough this is the longest chapter I've written so far. I know that erejean is a notp for some of you and this chapter is pretty much just erejean. Y'all know I hate hate hate love triangles so this is going _absolutely fucking nowhere._ I ship the angry boyfriends pretty hard but this is just the closeout to the "Eren and Jean become friends" arc and this seemed like a really good way to end it.
> 
> Also this might just be me but drunk makeouts kinda solidified my friendships with a lot of people.
> 
> I guess if you really are that bothered by erejean you can skip this chapter but it leaves their arc completely unresolved. Also there's some shit about Levi and Eren but not a lot. So yeah, skip it if you must.

Since remembering the name of the lab that Grisha had worked for the amount of time that Eren spent in contact with the Survey Corps had been drastically reduced. Hanji texted him once a day to check in but since he had given them such a huge piece of the puzzle he hadn’t seen any of them in person in over a week while they chased down leads. Part of Eren was sad that giving them the name of the lab apparently meant that his involvement was no longer necessary, but on the other hand he had no desire to see Levi any time soon. He had come to terms with the fact that Levi was an asshole but the fact that Levi had outright –and cruelly – stated that he didn’t give a shit about him had hurt him worse than he wanted to admit. He was grateful that he had been able to convince Erwin that he didn’t need to be shadowed by any of them anymore since Mikasa was on the mend and while she couldn’t return to hero work, she was perfectly capable of keeping him safe.

Mikasa wasn’t able to accompany him home at night anymore but the fact that Eren and Jean had finally buried the hatchet came with an offer to give him rides back from campus after dark. It worked well given that Jean usually worked evening shifts at the library and Eren was spending almost all of his free time there doing research for his thesis anyway. He had quickly settled into a routine where he got to campus just barely on time for his first class and stayed until 10pm when Jean’s shift usually ended. From there they would pile all of their stuff into Jean’s car and drive to Eren and Mikasa’s apartment (where Jean had become a nightly fixture) and Eren would cook an extremely late dinner for the three of them. On the second night, Jean ended up pulling Mikasa aside to tell her about what happened with Marco and to apologize for being an asshole his freshman year.

He had expected the slap across the face. He hadn’t expected the hug that followed.

 

Eren and Jean were sitting on Eren’s bed, their backs leaning against the wall as they passed a bottle of whisky back and forth and tried to keep their voices low while Mikasa slept. They started out commiserating about difficult classes and awful professors and Eren let Jean rant about one of his new co-workers whose taste in movies personally offended Jean.

“He likes the Saw movies! He thought that Thankskilling and Santa Slays were _bad_ but that’s the _point!_ ”

“Well fuck that guy. Those are awesome.”

“I know right? And he started talking about Monet and he really meant _Manet_ and when I corrected him he got all offended but for fuck’s sake he’s a fine arts major! And then it turns out that he thinks Andy Warhol is some sort of god when it comes to art and that his pop art is the best out there but that Roy Lichtenstein’s work is utterly meaningless because he worked with comic strips and apparently that’s too low-brow and populist or some shit. Just who the –” Eren clapped his hand over Jean’s mouth as his voice got louder and more impassioned.

“Jeez. Calm the fuck down, Jean. Why does it matter? He doesn’t know who um… whoever those two guys are and –”

“Oscar-Claude _Monet_ and Édouard _Manet_.”

“Right. And he has shitty opinions about other artists. Why do you care so much?”

Jean huffed and drew his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. Eren stared at him, willing his eyes to focus properly as the alcohol in his system began to take its toll.

“…because that’s what I wanted to do.”

“Huh?”

“I wanted to be an art major, but instead I’m a _business_ major because that’s a _sensible degree_ and an art degree is stupid and pointless and apparently only girls and fags major in art.” Eren was staring at Jean and he looked away sharply. “At least I didn’t say I wanted to be a theater major.”

“So your family wouldn’t let you major in art?”

“More like I took an art history class freshman year to fulfill the history requirement and when I mentioned I liked the practical drawing component my dad he said I should’ve taken a more sensible class like the history of modern Europe which like, _who gives a fuck?_ And then he went on this whole speech about how he was glad I was going to major in business and not some fluff degree like art and I just couldn’t say anything.”

“That’s… fuck, I’m really sorry.”

“My mom found one of my sketchpads from the class and suggested I minor in art but it just didn’t seem worth it. Besides, art classes almost always conflict with my business classes.”

Jean took a long drink from the bottle of whisky and they both fell into silence.

“Do you still draw? Even just little things?” Jean snorted and passed the bottle to Eren.

“I usually go through a sketchpad a month. I don’t get any fancy supplies though, just pencils and charcoal.”

“At least you’re still drawing though. You could have just stopped completely.”

“I probably would have lost my mind.”

“You should take an art class next semester.”

“And have to deal with my dad? Hell no.”

“Tell him you need a fluff class because you’re stressed.”

“That’s… actually not a bad idea. I only need two more credits plus my capstone project to finish my major so I _do_ have room in my schedule for an art class.”

“What would you want to take?”

“Oil painting. I’d never get to do it otherwise.”

“So then do it.”

“Yeah. If it works out I will. I don’t like the idea of saying I’m taking it because it’s a ‘fluff class’ but if that’s what it takes to keep my dad off my back… what’s one more lie? I’m gone as soon as we graduate.”

“What? You’re leaving Trost?”

“Yeah, I’m going to head for Sina. Well, Stohess because it’s cheaper but still close. I’ve already started looking at jobs and apartments.”

“Wow. That’s a big move.”

“You moved from Shiganshina to Trost. That’s a big move too. Especially with everything that was going on in Shiganshina when you left.”

“I guess it was kind of a big move. It felt like the only option though.” _At least you aren’t leaving because the person who was watching out for your ungrateful ass got murdered._

“This kind of feels like the only option to me too. I need to start over. Get away from my family, get away from all this bullshit… and I guess I need to get away from Marco now too.”

“Yeah…” _Then again, it can’t be easy to leave when you aren’t escaping a city at war with itself. When you have things you’ll miss._ “How are things between you and Marco?”

“Better I guess. He’s not actively avoiding me anymore. We don’t really talk though, we just kind of _exist_ together.”

“Well, clearly you’re welcome here any time. It’s not like it’s the eighth night in a row you’ve been here after midnight. And you’re staying over.”

“Who said I’m staying over?”

“The fact that your blood alcohol content is probably double the legal maximum to drive.”

“Fair point.”

They lapsed into silence and Jean stared across his knees at Eren’s bookshelf while Eren tilted his head up and let his eyes trace the familiar web of cracks on the ceiling. It was a serene and drunken calm in the storm of life and with nowhere to go the next day they let time pass them by without recognition. Eren shifted his head to look at Jean as he continued to stare at the bookshelf, lost in thought.

 _Who knew Jean wanted to be an art major? That doesn’t seem anything like him but I guess he’s never really been honest with anyone. I wonder how much_ Marco _even knows about all of this. I mean, yeah Jean came out to him but does he know that Jean wanted to major in art or that he wants to move to Stohess to get away from everything here? Just how much has Jean been bottling up and keeping away from everyone, even his best friend? How in the fuck did_ I _end up being the person who he tells all of this shit to?_

Jean turned his head to look at Eren, nearly smashing his head into Eren’s nose as a result of their proximity.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Am I the first person you’ve said all this shit to? Like, all of it to one single person?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Why?”

“You should talk to other people too.”

“Yeah, I bet you’re pretty shit at life advice.”

They paused and looked at each other; Eren looking mildly offended and Jean looking amused.

_Eh, fuck it. Why not?_

Eren leaned in to kiss Jean. The odd angle of their bodies made it an incredibly clumsy kiss as their teeth clacked together and they craned their necks awkwardly. Eren moved his hand to grip Jean’s bicep while Jean’s hand hovered in the air, uncertain as to where to put it. The kiss died on its own and they pulled back from one another, putting enough space between themselves to focus properly on each other’s faces. The silence held for a moment before Jean broke it.

“Ew, Jaeger that was gross.” Jean reached his hand up to wipe off his face. “Do you always slobber all over people?”

“What the fuck? I don’t slobber!”

“So why is my face covered in your gross spit?” Jean burst into laughter at the indignant expression on Eren’s face and Eren joined him in laughing a moment later. As their laughter died off, Jean spoke again. “Why the hell did you kiss me anyway?”

“I figured why not?” Eren shrugged.

“Please tell me you aren’t crushing on me.”

“Oh gross no way!” Eren shoved at Jean and laughed. “You’re the one who propositioned me the other night anyway so you can’t say shit.”

“I was drunk that night!”

“And I’m drunk right now.”

“I was depressed about Marco.”

“Yeah well… the last time I saw Levi he told me that I don’t mean shit to him and that even if he did give a shit I’m a liability because I’m a stupid, weak kid.”

“…that’s one way to put a damper on the evening.”

“I just feel like I keep getting close and then I get completely stonewalled. It felt like I was doing two steps forward and one back, but now it’s like I’m taking two steps forward and three back.” Eren drew his legs up to his chest, mimicking Jean’s earlier pose. He buried his head in his knees and sighed deeply. He spoke again in a whisper, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“You said you haven’t seen him or any of the Survey Corps in a while yeah?”

“Yeah. So?”

“You don’t have to see him every day." Jean gave him a pointed look. “ _You_ have the space to try and get over him. Go out, get laid, do whatever.

“Didn’t I already tell you I’m not going to pop your gay cherry?”

“I swear to fucking Christ, Eren. Lay off on that. Besides, you’re the one that kissed me.”

“Jesus fucking – we’re friends. _Just friends_ , yeah?”

“Just friends.”

“And we do not speak of this to _anyone_.”

“No shit.”


	61. Noncommittal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next few chapters are going to be 104th-centric with pretty much zero involvement of the Survey Corps. Have some relatively-light-and-fluffy chapters for a bit after all the heavy shit from the past few... and before the heavy shit kicks in again. I need a break, you need a break, we all need a break.
> 
> This is not to say that nothing important will happen during these chapters, there just won't be nearly as much angst.
> 
> Oh and I made a map of Shiganshina about a week and a half ago. I'm going to be posting a cleaner and more detailed version in a later chapter, but [this is the basic map](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/post/95395037684/half-assed-map-of-alyna-shiganshina)

**[Connie:]** dude we’re going out tonight you in?

 **[Sasha:]** A new bar just opened up downtown. They’re supposed to have amazing wings. We’re going.

 **[Sasha:]** Also we need to get Connie laid.

 **[Connie:]** i need you there for moral support sasha’s an awful wingman

 **[Jean:]** Stop moping about birdman and come out tonight

Eren stared at his phone groggily and ran a hand through his hair, making his bedhead even worse. It had been Jean’s text that finally woke him up. He stretched and yawned before responding to the messages.

 **[Eren to Sasha:]** yeah i'm down. how much are wings?

 **[Eren to Connie:]** just told sasha i'm in

 **[Eren to Jean:]** shut up and yeah i'm going

He threw his phone on the bed and walked towards the kitchen to start a pot of coffee brewing. After setting it up he went to take a shower knowing that the coffee would be done at roughly the same time as he got out of the shower. As the hot water washed over his body, Eren began to turn over just how normal the past two weeks had been for him. The fact that Hanji only texted him once a day to check in but made no other efforts at contacting him had rankled at first but he realized that Jean was right; if he wanted to get over his crush on Levi it was best if he maintained distance from him and the rest of the Survey Corps. He snorted as he realized that he was now taking life advice from a guy who a little over two weeks ago, he could barely stand to be in the same room with. Jean was right though and Eren did have to defer to him given Jean’s situation with Marco and (to a lesser extent) the fact that he had actually dated people before and had to deal with getting over them.

Eren had never felt like the odd one out given that Marco, Connie and Mikasa had never dated anyone either and the only two people dating in their group were Ymir and Krista – he still couldn’t fathom how Connie hadn’t realized it sooner. He had always been aware of it in the back of his mind and after an offhand comment by Krista that the driver’s side of the car was the least comfortable place for car sex he decided to avoid getting a ride from her unless he was truly desperate. The closest that he had ever come to dating anyone was with a guy he had met at work after moving to Trost. They had been strictly friends with benefits and lost touch after a few months when Sam moved back home after graduating from Trost University. Since then it was just the occasional one night stand – almost never anyone who he would run into again – and that was enough for him. When he had to worry about being kidnapped and letting Mikasa know where he was going to be if he did go home with someone the hassle frequently made it not worth his while. The time he had received a blowjob in the bathroom of a bar would have been ideal if it weren’t for the fact that the bathroom smelled a little too strongly of stale urine. He wasn’t a clean freak, but he did have standards.

He never really shared anything about his sex life with anyone unless he was extremely drunk and Sasha was egging him on. But sober or drunk, Sasha could be depended on to share every detail of her sex life without shame and with total disregard for other people’s discomfort. Marco and Mikasa were usually the ones who ended up trying to get Sasha to stop oversharing, even if they were rarely successful. She played each story for laughs and their group usually ended up with emotions ranging from mortification to amusement and uproarious laughter. Eren was thankful that the vast majority of stories that he could tell were also humorous; one of the awful ones involved him being almost-kidnapped by one of Dr. Gloom’s minions. He had told the story at party when Mikasa was on-patrol since it included him joking that he probably would have had sex with the guy anyway even after getting kidnapped because he was just that attractive. He knew that everyone thought he was joking even though he wasn’t.

He smiled as he turned the water off and realized how much he was looking forward to seeing Connie and Sasha. He assumed that Ymir and Krista would be on-patrol if Sasha was taking the night off and Mikasa still wasn’t able to resume hero work. Eren wondered if Marco would accompany them. For Jean’s sake he hoped not.

After toweling off and throwing on some sweatpants he returned to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, inhaling the scent as he waited for the caffeine to enter his system. He noticed a note on the table and walked over to pick it up.

> [Eren,
> 
> I’m going out for coffee with Ymir and Krista and then picking up a few things at the grocery store. Should be back around one. Don’t do anything stupid.
> 
> Mikasa]

_Great. Thanks Mikasa, way to make me feel like a capable adult. I guess that leaves me completely free to watch bad horror movies for the next…_ He looked at the clock … _four hours._

“I wonder if Jean’s free to come over and marathon some bad movies.”

“ _Eren._ You should be working on your thesis.” Eren groaned as Armin’s disembodied voice filled the kitchen.

“I’ve been in the library constantly for the past two weeks, I need a break.”

“You’ve also been staying up way too late hanging out with Jean every night _and_ you’re planning on going out tonight as well.”

“Armin, I need a break. An actual during-the-day break.”

“If you aren’t going to do schoolwork then go outside. You spend enough time in front of a screen as it is. Go out for a walk in the park and get some fresh air and sunshine, it’s good for you.”

“But _Armin…_ ” Eren whined Armin’s name pathetically. “I don’t want to. It’s bright out.”

“If you won’t go outside then you need to get something productive done before you go out tonight. I will lock the door if you try to leave and I will bother you until you start working.”

“Seriously Armin? Are you trying to go all HAL on me?”

“Eren, you need to work on your thesis. You’ve had a couple quiet weeks but who knows how long that’s going to last.”

“Fuck. Yeah, that’s true isn’t it? I could get kidnapped by a freak in a mask at any moment. Though I guess it’s more likely to be the Military Police since nobody from the Survey Corps has found any evidence of the Titans tracking me.” Eren paused and furrowed his brow. “That’s really freaky actually. Either the Titans don’t actually give a shit about me or somehow they’ve been giving the _Survey Corps_ the slip and fuck now I have goosebumps.”

“Maybe you should get in touch with them? Just for your own peace of mind.”

“Not exactly in the mood to deal with any of them right now. Apparently I’m completely unnecessary.”

“Nobody ever said that, Eren.”

“So then why the _fuck_ haven’t I gotten more than a daily text of ‘how are things going today, Eren?’ from Hanji?” Eren slumped into one of the kitchen chairs and hunched over his coffee. “Not that I _want_ to have to deal with crazy people in masks, but I thought I was somehow important and not just a bargaining chip like usual.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe they’re trying to keep you safe while they follow some leads?” Armin’s voice was gentle and Eren was seized (not for the first time) by a desire to have Armin be a real, physical person who could give him a hug.

“Is keeping me in the dark really going to keep me safe?” Eren took a sip of coffee and sighed heavily. “The morning at the diner, Levi said that it wasn’t good to leave me completely in the dark but I guess that’s okay now for whatever reason? He’s such a fucking asshole, why do I even like him?”

“You have said that he’s attractive.”

“Yeah but… I kinda like him as in I want to be his friend too. He’s attractive and he clearly needs to talk to _someone_ about shit.”

“And you want that person to be you.”

“It would be nice, yeah. Having something like I had with Sam would be nice.”

“Sam?”

“Just a guy I knew before college.” Eren stared into his coffee mug and Armin let him be.

_I want to be Levi’s friend but I’d also really like to have him fuck me into a mattress. I mean, the two aren’t exactly mutually exclusive. I just want him to not be a complete asshole to me and we can go grab some coffee and then go back to one of our places – ideally his – to have sex and that would be perfect. It’s not like I’m looking for a fucking boyfriend or anything, just a friend with benefits._


	62. Eyebfows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Texting Eren is back with a vengeance and this time it's personal.
> 
> Just some goofy shit with Connie, Sasha, Jean and Eren at a bar. I needed this silliness what with all the angst that's been going on and the Evil Author plot notes I've been writing today. So I really needed to take it easy for a little bit.
> 
> Enjoy.

Eren should have remembered that Sasha’s definition of what a bar was differed greatly from most people. What Sasha called a ‘bar’ could more accurately be described as “a club that also serves very good bar food –specifically hot wings.” After spending so many weeks cooped up in the library or being ferried around Trost to talk about Grisha the change in atmosphere was almost overwhelming. It had taken him a little bit to adjust to the lighting and the high energy environment, but after a round of tequila shots (courtesy of Jean) he had loosened up enough to actually enjoy himself rather than wanting to curl up in a dark corner.

Marco had ended up not coming with them for obvious reasons and Mikasa decided without any convincing from Eren that he would be just fine going out since Sasha was going to be with him. He knew that she wouldn’t admit it, but if she wanted to resume hero work in a week or two (Armin projected she would be healed enough to go out then) she needed to take it easy for now. She had even voluntarily put off starting her morning run for almost a week after Armin had cleared her for it with the caveat of “as long as you take it easy” so that she wouldn’t run the risk of irritating her neck. Eren could say that he was honestly impressed by her self-restraint compared to previous times where she had been injured, though it had never been this seriously before. He supposed that some of it had to do with her wanting to stay at home to protect him given everything that had been going on recently, but also that she didn’t want to not be in peak condition if something happened to him just because she was pushing herself too hard too soon.

Realizing that his thoughts were taking a too-serious turn for the evening, he pulled himself out of his own mind and rejoined the conversation going on at their table. Currently that conversation consisted of Sasha pointing out women who she thought Connie might be interested in. It was really only a conversation in the loosest terms given that it consisted mainly of Sasha not-so-discreetly pointing women out and saying things like “She’s a brunette, you usually watch porn with brunettes yeah?” and Connie blushing and mumbling while Jean had gotten the hiccups from laughing so hard.

“You always make this so difficult! You know what you like, so go for it!” Connie clamped his hand over Sasha’s mouth.

“Not so loud!” Sasha pulled his hand off of her mouth and continued in a lower voice.

“You’re the one who complains about being a virgin but you won’t let me try and set you up with anyone. I _know_ you don’t do so well in the romance arena but you really need to put yourself out there. Look, there’s a girl over there from my abnormal psych class. Her name’s Sarah and she’s really nice and I can introduce you to her.”

“Isn’t she the one who thought Africa was a _country_ and not a continent?”

“Do you want to get laid or do you want a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know… I just want to at least be able to talk to her and like her.”

“Picking out someone based on personality compatibility isn’t my strong suit…” Connie groaned and put his head in his hands before looking up at Jean.

“Do you have any advice?”

“I haven’t dated anyone since my junior year of high school.” Jean looked at him apologetically. “I’m uh… kind of not looking to date anyone right now? And I’ve been out of the dating game for a while so I don’t know how much help I’d be.”

“But you’ve _been_ on dates in college.”

“Dates that were more like excuses to get to the good part…” Connie groaned and turned to Eren.

“Dude, you have to have some suggestion.”

“First, I like men and that’s kind of a different ball game entirely.” Jean snorted and mumbled something about balls and Eren punched his shoulder while Sasha burst into laughter. “Second, you know there’s only one person I’ve ever slept with more than once and it was a total fluke that he was also a good guy.”

“And if he weren’t a chill dude?”

“I mean, if he were a racist or a sexist that wouldn’t have flown with me, but he wasn’t and I really didn’t care. He was nice.” Connie looked slightly queasy as he looked at Jean and Eren.

“So basically I’m totally on my own here.”

“Sasha’s dated people too!” Jean pointed at her accusatorily.

“Yeah! Also in high school and it sucked. I don’t _do_ relationships.”

 _“Why does nobody in our friend circle like being in a relationship?!”_ Connie was practically yelling and the people at the table next to them gave them a weird look before turning back to their own conversation.

“You can always talk to Ymir and Krista.”

“Eren that is probably the least helpful thing ever. Dude, can you even imagine trying to talk to Ymir about this shit?”

“So talk to Krista! Just don’t ask her about car sex. Or get a ride in her car.” Eren looked around the table and saw the weird looks they were all giving him. _Shit. I said that out loud._

“I think you just broke Connie.” Sasha was trying to suppress a grin. “Okay, I’m getting another round. Who wants what and who’s paying for this one? Jean got the last one…”

“Tequila. Lots of tequila.” The horrified expression on Connie’s face had the other three cracking up again. “No seriously guys. I get a ride from them every Tuesday to go to the grocery store after class.”

“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry I said anything about it.”

 

Two hours later found Sasha and Connie trying to match each other drink for drink while they complained about their mutual professors and Eren and Jean had broken off and gone to the bar to get drinks that _weren’t_ tequila shots. While they waited Eren ended up getting a very detailed history lesson about Byzantine art that ended up turning into a lecture on an artist named Klimt or Clint – Eren couldn’t figure it out over the noise at the bar. He nodded along to Jean’s animated and one-sided discussion on the usage of metal and gold leaf on paintings. He felt a little bad about tuning Jean out, but the alcohol in his system was starting to take a toll on him and his mind was more than a little fuzzy. He noticed a tall, blond man seated on the other side of the bar from them and noticed that he was checking him out. Eren gave him a once over, trying to decide if it was worth going over once they got their drinks and Jean returned to where Connie and Sasha were seated. As he looked at him he had a sudden realization – he had massive eyebrows that were potentially even larger than Erwin’s.

Eren turned away to get his drink as the bartender placed it on the counter. He and Jean stayed to drink a bit before heading back to reduce the probability of spilling it on themselves. As Jean paused in his lecture (Eren had no idea if he was still talking about Klimt or Clint or whoever) he realized that at that moment he _needed_ to share his discovery with another person. There was really only one other person who he could think of who needed to know about Tall, Blond and Handsome’s eyebrows.

 **[Eren:]** theres a guy at this bar with eyebfows bigger than erwins

He didn’t really expect a response and Eren decided to head back with Jean rather than go over to the stranger. Fifteen minutes later, he was almost done with his drink when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and had he been sober he probably would have been completely horrified. He had not –as he thought he had – texted Hanji.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** That’s impossible.

Instead of horror he could only be amused by Levi’s message insisting that no other set of eyebrows could rival the size of Erwin’s. He looked back up to find that the man at the bar checking him out again.

 **[Eren:]** Issend you a phto but the lightening is sit

He felt a sudden desire to attempt to make Levi jealous.

 **[Eren:]** Hes been chcking me out all nightd

 **[Eren:]** He’s really cjge.   Isd tap that. Thnik I will

He looked back up at the man at the bar and smiled. He hadn’t gone out tonight _intending_ to go home with someone, but that wasn’t to say he couldn’t be convinced otherwise if someone showed interest in him.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** You are drunk enough that you are misspelling things badly. Don’t be a fucking idiot, kid.

 **[Eren:]** M fine

 **[Eren:]** !!

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** It’s pretty fucking clear that you aren’t.

 **[Eren:]** Stop beng a kolljoy who axked youj anuway

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** You drunk texted me comparing someone’s eyebrows to Erwin’s and then told me that you want to fuck a stranger you met at a bar even though you can’t even text coherently. I think that gives me the right to tell you that you shouldn’t.

 **[Eren:]** So what uo digtee with me going home with come sytrange ay a bar ?

Anger and frustration washed over him suddenly.

 **[Eren:]** Uou think om a sult don;t you stop being fcking jidgmentl

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** What in the fuck? I’m telling you that you’re too drunk to make an informed decision. You’ve got two different packs of lunatics looking to get a hold of you so think with your brain and not your dick. Jesus fucking Christ kid. Did your mom drop you on your head as a baby?

 **[Eren:]** M moms ded . Asshoole mcfuxkface

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Sorry.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Asshole McFuckface?

 **[Eren:]** Yr name in mr phone

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Lovely.

 **[Eren:]** mybe if uou wernt sch an asshoole youd have a diffrenrt name

Ten minutes later, Levi still hadn’t responded. He was still staring at his phone when Jean grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up telling him that Connie was waiting with a cab outside. They supported each other as they walked towards the exit slowly, trying not stumble.

“So why are you moping at your phone?”

“Made an ass of myself t’Levi.” Eren was mumbling and Jean had to lean in to hear him.

“Why were you even texting him?” Jean spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable to avoid slurring.

“There was guy w’eyebrows.”

“Riiiiiiiight. Okay. That is most people, Eren.”

“Yeah but like… C’mmander Hands’ eyebrows huge.”

“You are making no sense right now.”

“Stop talkin’ like tha’ you soun’ like a robot.”

“Well at least I sound less drunk than you do.”

“Yeah bu’ it’s weird.”

“So what did you text to Levi?”

“That I wan’d sleep with a guy. Told ‘im he’s Asshole McFuckface.”

“What did he say?”

“Seriously, you soun’ like a robot. Told me not t’think with my dick. Didn’ respond to Asshole McFuckface though.”

“Well when you wake up tomorrow and regret things you can text him back and apologize.”

“Fuck no! He’s the Asshole McFuckface!” Eren flailed an arm out and nearly hit someone as they walked through the doors, Jean pushed him towards the cab that Connie and Sasha were already in.

“Just get in the cab, Eren.”

“Not gonna regret…”

The next morning Jean would be shocked that Eren slept through their drunken a capella rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.


	63. It's Whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell you about how productive I was with ALYNA today:  
> \- I now have about nine pages of _notes_ for three different arcs  
>  \- A third of the "Levi and Eren finally get their fucking shit together" chapter is now written even though you won't be seeing it for an ice age (it's only a rough draft, but it's hella fluffy)  
> \- I wrote 90% of this chapter
> 
> It's going to get a little more serious next chapter but I don't think by too much. Everyone's just gonna chill and hang out a bit more.

Eren woke up with a pounding headache and a crick in his neck. His legs were cramped up uncomfortably close to his chest but not entirely on the bed. He went to stretch out his feet but instead of open space they came in contact with another body

As soon as his legs made contact, he bolted up and felt his head swim at the sudden change in position. He squinted against the bright light of the room and recognized Connie and Sasha’s living room. He had been sleeping on their couch and the body on the other side of the couch was cursing and starting to sit up. As they pulled the blankets away he found himself staring at a very hungover and pissed off Jean with an awful case of bedhead.

“What the _fuck_ , Jaeger? I was asleep!”

“I’m sorry! It’s not like I meant to! I didn’t know where the fuck I was.” They were both glaring at each other and Jean looked like he was ready to murder Eren when Sasha walked in.

“Keep it down.” She yawned widely. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“Well I was trying to sleep too before _someone_ kicked me.”

“Jeez, I thought you two were friends now. Stop fighting.”

“He kicked me!”

“Just shut up. Both of you. Be useful and make some coffee. I’m going to shower.”

“What time is it?” Eren brought his hands up to knead at his temples with his fingertips.

“ _Almost_ eight in the morning and fuck you very much because we didn’t get back until after two and Sasha and I had to carry your sorry ass up two flights of stairs because you fell asleep in the cab and apparently there’s no waking you up once you’re asleep.”

“Sorry…”

“You go make the coffee. I’m staying right here.”

“Yeah, fine.” Eren stood up and stretched and it felt like half of his joints popped as he did so. He heard Jean mutter something about Rice Krispies and was about to walk to the kitchen when he froze. “Jean. There’s no way I checked in with Mikasa did sh–”

“I texted her for you and told her you were crashing here.” He pulled the blankets over his head and continued in a muffled voice. “Now go make the damn coffee.”

Eren walked a few steps towards the kitchen before pausing and turning back to Jean again.

“Jean… where are my pants?” Jean pulled the blankets back angrily.

“Coffee. Go.”

“But my pants…”

“I figured you’d be miserable enough this morning without having your junk being completely crushed all night.”

“Thanks. But seriously, where are my pants?”

“On the armchair.”

“Thanks.” Eren pulled his jeans on before continuing to the kitchen to make coffee. Before he started setting up the coffee he gulped down a glass of water and then another after it was set to go. All things considered his hangover wasn’t awful; it could have been far worse. He knew that the end of the night had been a bit shaky but he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. _Maybe I vaguely remember being carried up the stairs?_

Eren pulled his phone out of his pants pocket to check for any missed calls from Mikasa. He had a notification for two text messages; one was from Mikasa asking him to text when he woke up (he responded immediately) and the other –

 _Levi? Why would Levi send me a text? Oh fuck. Oh fuck, I drunk texted Levi. Not only did I drunk text Levi, I drunk texted him about someone’s_ eyebrows _and I told Levi that I wanted to fuck Eyebrows Guy. How did I not remember that immediately?_

He looked at the message; it had been sent about two hours ago.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** In an ideal world you aren’t a fucking idiot and you’re reading this some place you recognize. Drink some water.

He didn’t even hesitate before texting back.

 **[Eren:]** hey i'm really sorry about last night. i didn’t go home with the guy and i just had some water.

The coffee finished with a strangled gurgling hiss and Eren went to go kick Jean off of the couch. He had heard Sasha get out of the shower a few moments before and knew that she would be on the way to the kitchen as well. Shockingly, Jean wasn’t in a too-awful mood when Eren went to wake him up.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table sipping at their coffee and picking at some slightly stale bread from the bakery where Connie worked.

“So we aren’t going to wake Connie up?”

“Nah, he threw up a little bit after you guys crashed and I’m pretty sure he was up for a while after. I’m glad he doesn’t have any hair for me to worry about holding back. I was pretty gone myself. Which incidentally… Eren can you pretty please not tell that to Mikasa?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not saying anything. If I did she would inevitably start asking questions that lead to ‘I would have gone home with a guy at the bar’ and I’m not in the mood to get lectured on that.”

“What the hell, Eren? You were alone for all of five minutes the whole night _and_ that was right before I grabbed you to bring you out to the cab.”

“Oooh. Details Eren. Details!” Sasha was grinning at Eren and Jean groaned and rolled his eyes. "Was he cute? What did he say? Do you have his number?”

“He was blond and pretty good looking but he had massive eyebrows. We didn’t talk so no, I don’t have his number.”

“Didn’t you just say that you would have gone home with him?” Jean was staring at Eren in confusion as he tried to puzzle it out.

“He was checking me out the entire time we were at the bar and looked over at me a few times when we went back to the table. He was clearly interested and I probably would have gone for it.”

“Wait. That was at the end of the night? Like, the very end? _Eren,_ you were drunk off your ass! Jean and I had to carry you up the stairs and you were considering going home with someone? Are you fucking nuts?”

“Sasha, calm down. I didn’t, so it’s whatever.”

“That… really isn’t ‘whatever’ at all.” Eren shifted uncomfortably under Jean’s stare and hunched down to focus on his coffee mug.

“Look. Clearly I didn’t even go over and ask his name so please let’s just drop it.” He straightened up and looked at the both them. “Please?”

They both shot him annoyed looks.

“Fine. I’m going to make some bacon.” Sasha stood up from the table and went to pull out a frying pan and start it heating while she rummaged around the fridge. While she started to set things up to make eggs as well Jean spoke again.

“Before you passed out last night you said you drunk texted Levi. Should I assume that he’s the one to thank for you being here and not waking up hungover in some stranger’s bed?”

“Yeah. I made an ass of myself. I meant to text someone else entirely but maybe it was for the best that it was him. The person I meant to text wouldn’t have replied until this morning probably.”

“Did you apologize to him?”

“I texted him while I was making coffee. Turns out he sent me a message insanely early this morning checking in and telling me to drink water. Well, his version of checking in.”

“What’s his version?” Eren showed him the most recent text from Levi and Jean laughed. “I think I like this guy.”

“Fuck off, Horseface.”

“I thought you said you were going to stop calling me that.” Jean shot him a sour look.

“If you’re being a horse’s ass I’m going to call you Horseface.”

“Whatever. It’s too early for this.”

Eren was scrolling through his emails when his phone buzzed.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Congratulations, you aren’t a complete idiot. And I decided I like the name.

 **[Eren:]** it suits you. i am sorry about texting you though, i meant to text hanji

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** That answers that question.

 **[Eren:]** didn’t think i'd text you out of the blue?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** I couldn’t think of a single fucking reason why I would get a message about some fucker’s eyebrows at one in the morning.

 **[Eren:]** did i wake you up?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** No. I’m about to finally get some sleep now.

 **[Eren:]** up all night worried about me?

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]**  I have a job that requires me to be nocturnal most of the time.

 **[Eren:]**  well then… you were slacking off and texting me while at work? i’m flattered

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]**  Go fuck yourself. I'm not shadowing you anymore but I would be the first person who would be able to respond at night if something happened.

 **[Eren:]**  fucking christ, sorry…

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]**  Just go drink some fucking water.


	64. Team Mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had this about 90% written a few days ago but I wasn't sure how I felt about it and wanted some time to think it over since it jumps around a bit and Nanaba gets introduced and I wanted to make sure that it was relatively organic since she's getting introduced so much later than everyone else. Hopefully it worked out okay.

The only commitment that Eren had was to go to the lab in forty-five minutes to feed the sticklebacks and record their various metrics. In spite of being not-entirely-awake he had decided that he absolutely had to have pancakes and after confusing teaspoons for tablespoons and having to redo the batter, he was finally waiting for the pan to heat up. He heard his phone go off and went to check it while the pan continued to heat.

 **[Hanji:]** Good morning Eren! How’s your morning going?

 **[Eren:]** pretty okay. you didn’t text yesterday. was sort of surprised

 **[Hanji:]** Levi said that he ended up checking in with you yesterday morning since you drunk texted him the night before.

 **[Hanji:]** Also apparently I was the intended recipient?

 **[Eren:]** yeah, i saw a guy with eyebrows that I swear were bigger than erwin’s

 **[Hanji:]** Impossible!

 **[Eren:]** that’s what levi said too

He bit his lip and stared at his phone debating whether or not he really wanted to ask.

 **[Eren:]** hey hanji… what’s levi’s deal?

 **[Hanji:]** What do you mean?

 **[Eren:]** he tells me he doesn’t give a shit about me but then he tells me that i'm too drunk to go home with someone and yells at me to make sure i drink water when i've been out drinking

 **[Hanji:]** It’s not like he doesn’t care at all. He’s my friend and I freely admit he’s an ass sometimes but he cares in his own way. He’s not going to ignore you if you’re in some sort of trouble.

 **[Eren:]** i should really thank him… we texted the morning after but i didn’t really

 **[Eren:]** i kinda want to in person

 **[Hanji:]** He’s been out all night for the past few days, but he should be at HQ this afternoon. Actually, I wanted to talk to you too and I’ll be around most of the day.

 **[Hanji:]** Don’t worry, it’s not about Grisha! It’s for my research. I’ve updated the security on the door so you should be able to open it yourself. I probably won’t hear you knock.

 **[Eren:]** okay

He turned back to the stove to continue making pancakes; the kitchen was quiet except for the hiss of the gas and odd clicking noise that their coffee pot always made. Eren had just finished pouring dollops of batter into the pan when he heard the front door open. He whipped around and inched towards the kitchen door with his spatula at the ready.

“Calm down, it’s just Mikasa.”

“Oh.” Eren straightened up and allowed his body to relax at Armin’s words.

“Her door was closed, I thought she was still asleep.”

“She left to take a morning run a little while ago. She told you that she was leaving but I guess you weren’t completely awake yet. You _had_ just gotten out of bed.”

“Yeah, that would explain it.”

Eren had started to flip the pancakes when Mikasa came into the kitchen. She downed a glass of water before turning to Eren.

“Good morning. You look infinitely more awake than when I left.”

“He didn’t even remember that you said you were going out for a run.”

“Armin!”

“Seriously, Eren? It’s like you’re a zombie when you first wake up.”

“Not true! I’m not always out of it when I wake up!”

“More than half the time you’re nonfunctional until you have a cup of coffee. And you really need to cut back on your caffeine intake, it’s really disturbing how much coffee you drink.”

“I’ll cut back once I’ve graduated. Until then… well, I’d like to not pass out while I work on my thesis.”

“Or you could sleep more.” Mikasa was glaring at him now.

“I don’t have time to sleep right now. Just leave it, okay? I really need to focus on school right now and I’m already stressed about some group of crazy people who may or may not still be after me. Caffeine addiction is the least of my worries right now.” Her glare softened into a worried look.

“Try and sleep more though, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll try. I need to go to the lab right now and uh… I’m supposed to meet with Hanji after.” _And Levi, to thank him for telling me to not be an idiot._

“You haven’t seen them in a couple weeks, do they have anything new?”

“I don’t know yet.” Eren started to put some of the pancakes into a plastic container and poured some coffee into a thermos.

“You aren’t eating here?”

“I have to be there in less than half an hour and I still have to walk there. I’d rather get to the building and eat there than be rushing to get over there after eating.”

“You’ll be back by dinner?”

“What, don’t want to cook for yourself?” He grinned and dodged Mikasa’s attempt to punch him. She could have easily readjusted so that she hit him, but as gentle as she tried to be sometimes her superstrength meant she would hit him harder than she meant to. Especially now that she was almost healed.

“Yes. Now get going. And wear a jacket, it’s a bit colder out than it’s been and it isn’t supposed to warm up much.”

“Yeah yeah, I will.”

 

Eren’s shift at the lab was uneventful as always. There was one dead fish but other than that the rest of them seemed perfectly happy. He went through the motions, doing all of the things he needed to on autopilot since he was so familiar with everything by now. He let his mind go blank as he continued to go through his tasks until he was finally ready to leave.

_I finished earlier than I expected. Hanji didn’t say anything about picking me up so I guess I’m taking the bus. Ah yes, I finally get to be an independent adult for the first time in weeks. Walking to and from campus isn’t that big of a deal and it’s nice to get rides at night from Jean, but actually getting out of the area by myself is really nice._

He paid the bus fare and watched the scenery pass by. The leaves on half the trees had already started to turn and the air was crisp. He found himself looking forward to Halloween and wondered whether or not he’d be _allowed_ to go out and do anything fun. Usually their whole group would go to a big party or club and every year Sasha would try and convince everyone that they should do themed costumes for their group. He and Jean would inevitably end up fighting about something stupid and Mikasa would refuse to participate unless she was able to wear a costume that she could fight in if she needed to and in the end it never happened.

_I wonder if Jean and I will be able to agree on something this year._

Eren made the transfer to the second bus and finally arrived at the Survey Corps’ headquarters. He had barely touched the door when it clicked open. He hesitated a moment before remembering that Hanji _had_ told him that it was okay if he just let himself in – that they might be busy working and not here him. He stepped through the door and felt himself growing more nervous as he walked down the dark hallway and out into the main room of the building.

He knew he was a bit earlier than Hanji probably anticipated but he had assumed that them saying that they would be around all day meant that they would actually _be_ there. Instead he walked in and saw two people sitting at a large workbench looking over a pile of papers. It took his eyes a brief moment to adjust from the darker hallway to the much brighter central room, but he quickly recognized that one of the people at the table was Mike and the other was… someone he didn’t recognize. He stood awkwardly at the threshold of the room debating if he should just walk in or call out first, he figured it would be rude not to say anything but also couldn’t think of something appropriate to say. His thoughts were cut off when Mike spoke.

“Eren, if Hanji gave you clearance you can come in. You don’t need to wait for permission.”

“Okay… I just expected Hanji to be here.”

“They had to run out to get something from the hardware store.” The person sitting next to Mike had short blond and clearly would be fairly tall when they stood up. They looked up from the papers and gave Eren a warm smile. Their androgynous features had Eren deciding that he was reserving any and all guesses as to their gender. He had known Hanji preferred neutral pronouns long before he had met them, but whoever this was… he didn’t recognize them. Adding to his confusion was the fact that they weren’t wearing a mask so he couldn’t even guess if they were a hero or not since he at least knew of all the superheroes in the greater Trost area.

“Hi… I’m Eren.”

“I’m Nanaba.” They stood and extended their arm to shake his hand. “I’m Mike’s wife but you’re probably more familiar with me as Lady Lightning.”

“Oh um wow. Hi!” _Don’t freak out. You got used to being around the Survey Corps, you can handle being in the same room as Lady Lightning. Just breathe._

“Did Hanji say why they wanted you here? I didn’t think that we had any more developments in the past few days.” Mike’s confusion was written clearly on his face.

“Something about their research. Wait, so things have happened since the last time I talked to you guys? Nobody has said a word to me and it’s a little freaky actually.”

“I’m sorry Eren. Please trust us for now.”

Eren mumbled quiet words of assent before sitting down at the table with the both of them. The silence was deafening; clearly he had interrupted them going over information that they couldn’t share with him, but without Hanji’s presence there was nothing for him to do.

“I hear that you’re a good cook.” Eren was surprised by Nanaba breaking the silence.

“Yeah? I mean, yeah I am but where did you hear that?”

“Hanji said that you made dinner a couple weeks ago.”

“And forced Levi to eat something that wasn’t garbage. I wish I’d seen his reaction to being forced to eat someone else’s cooking without being told beforehand.”

“He wasn’t a complete jerk.” Mike was clearly trying not to laugh as Eren continued to talk. “Does he actually like eating gross-ass pre-made food?”

“I doubt it, but he also won’t let Mike teach him to cook anything. And no offense to Hanji, but they aren’t the greatest cook. Come to think of it, I don’t think Erwin cooks for himself much either. I guess I lucked out when I was picking out a husband.” Nanaba and Mike smiled at one another briefly before turning back to Eren.

“As you can see, my cooking skills are greatly appreciated.”

“He’s like the Survey Corps’ team mom, making sure everyone is well-fed.”

“Well I don’t know about the two of you but when I think about my mother, I think of cleaning just as much as I think of food.” Eren’s smile faltered. _When I think of my mother I think of helping her make baklava… but also…_

“So what then, Levi is the actual team mom here?” Nanaba’s smile was infectious and Eren could feel his own mood picking back up again as a result of her joke; thinking of Levi as being a motherly figure was hilarious. Mike chuckled and intertwined his fingers with Nanaba’s and Eren felt torn between feeling awkward being around an actually physically demonstrative couple and feeling happy because he was sitting with two people who were so very clearly in love. When they separated their hands Mike continued the conversation.

“I can’t really complain, it’s nice to have a clean headquarters, but Levi definitely acts like my mother when it comes to cleaning.”

“I’m sorry but _who_ acts like your mother when it comes to cleaning?”

None of them had noticed, but Levi had arrived at some point in the past few minutes and was currently standing at the end of the hall glaring at the three of them. Nanaba and Mike quickly looked down at the papers in front of them, acting like neither of them had said anything. Unfortunately for Eren, there was absolutely nothing he could do to occupy himself with and was faced with the choice of either staring down at his hands or staring at Levi. He knew that the first option was the safe one but he really couldn’t resist looking at Levi with his arms crossed and hip cocked out as he smirked and –

Out of the corner of his eye Eren saw Nanaba look up and do a double take.

“You aren’t wearing a mask?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Nanaba isn't in the original Aside that I wrote with everyone's powers and junk because I hadn't introduced her yet and you know how crazy I get with plot and plot reveals and junk. Rather than try to awkwardly squash in her superhero information into the story I'm going to put it in as a note here.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Lady Lightning**
> 
>  
> 
> Power to create and control lightning and electrical currents. She can control the voltage of her power and like, 99% of the time she uses non-lethal voltage but she isn't above using lethal voltage if she has to. She wears a catsuit like Levi since she can't afford to have stray material potentially catching fire if her electrical currents hit something flammable. Her original uniform didn't offer the greatest protection since it had to be predominantly made of lightweight rubber / synthetic fiber blend so that she didn't electrocute herself but it didn't allow for the greatest range in motion. Hanji helped design her new uniform which is made with a teflon / synthetic fiber blend and is able to offer better padding, flexibility and physical protection in addition to better protection against her own powers.
> 
> Nanaba has absolutely bitching powers since there are conductors all over the place so she can telegraph her powers pretty fucking far if necessary. Plus, being able to create / control electricity works pretty damn well if there's a power outage or anything like that.
> 
> TL;DR Nanaba is amazing.


	65. Curious About You Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is utter shit and I hate it and it took me entirely too long to finally say "fuck it" and just post the original draft with a few tweaks here and there. So yeah, have a chapter.
> 
> I'm bumping the rating to Mature now because a new arc starts next chapter and I know this arc _will_ bump the rating, I just don't know _when_ so I'm just going to do it preemptively and not worry about it later.

“You aren’t wearing a mask?”

Nanaba’s surprise had caused Mike to look up as well. His eyes widened ever so slightly for a brief moment and his eyes darted between Levi and Eren. It was clear that Mike and Nanaba expected some sort of response and Eren wasn’t about to say anything; it was entirely up to Levi as to how he wanted to play it.

“I didn’t bother wearing one when we were playing Twenty Questions with the kid. He’s seen my face now so I don’t see why I should start wearing a mask again.” Levi shrugged and walked off in the direction of Hanji’s work station. “Mike, have you seen a red external hard drive around here? Hanji said it’s around here but I’m not seeing it.”

Mike got up from the table and walked over to help Levi look for the drive. Nanaba frowned but turned to continue shuffling through the papers. Leaning over Eren could see that they were blueprints, but of what he couldn’t even begin to guess. He was just far enough away that he could only see vague outlines of the shapes. Besides, his thoughts were mostly occupied by Levi’s half-truth.

 _I saw his face way before dinner at Hanji’s. There was the time he tried to do self-defense lessons with me – and I really would have liked to continue those – and at the diner the one morning he had his hat pushed almost all the way back so he might as well not have been wearing one and then there was when he picked me up to go grocery shopping. I get not mentioning the self-defense lesson; that was a shit show but the rest…_ It started to dawn on him that Levi was leaving out the diner because he told him things he wasn’t supposed to know at the time. And the grocery shopping trip was just another awkward encounter filled with the familiar feelings of kindness and coldness that Eren associated with Levi.

Mike and Levi were still shuffling around Hanji’s work station, carefully moving things and trying to put the clutter back exactly where they found it while they looked for the hard drive. He could hear Levi muttering about the lack of organization and cleanliness and could see that Mike was trying to hold back a smile. He was still watching them vaguely when they all heard the outside door open and Hanji came bounding in with two shopping bags in hand. Levi didn’t even give Hanji a moment to set things down before he addressed them.

“Shitty goggles, you said the drive was on your desk. We’ve been looking for fifteen minutes now and I haven’t found shit.” Eren was taken aback by Levi’s angry tone whereas everyone else seemed to take it in stride.

“It’s not there?” Hanji was looking confusedly at Levi. “I left it on top of the filing cabinet.”

“There is a stack of _dirty plates_ on top of the filing cabinet.” Hanji walked over and unlike Levi was able to easily see the top of the tall cabinet. They reached up and grabbed what turned out to be a red external hard drive. Eren could see a muscle twitching in Levi’s jaw as Hanji held it out to him.

“No fucking way am I touching that thing until it’s been disinfected. I can’t remember the last time we used those dishes and I don’t even want to think about what crap is on that thing.”

“Fine, fine.” Hanji grabbed a box of disinfecting wipes (Eren noticed that there was dust on the box) from under their desk and rubbed down the drive before handing it to Levi. This time he grabbed it without issue.

Eren had expected him to immediately walk off with it to look at whatever was on it, but instead he set it back down on Hanji’s desk and spoke again in an exasperated but somewhat gentle voice.

“Hand me those dishes. I’ll go wash them and the rest of what’s in the sink.” He watched as Hanji grabbed the plates from on top of the cabinet and as they turned to hand them off they finally noticed Eren sitting awkwardly at the table where Mike had returned and continued to go over the blueprints from earlier. Levi stood with his hands out but Hanji didn’t hand the plates off as they addressed Eren.

“Eren! I didn’t expect you to be here to soon.”

“Yeah, I finished at the lab earlier than I expected.”

“Okay, well I need to put these things away, so if you can give me fifteen minutes…”

“That’s fine.” Hanji finally handed off the plates to Levi and he gave them a disgusted look before walking off towards the kitchen. Eren continued to sit awkwardly at the table while being thoroughly ignored by the other three people in the room. He figured that he might as well make himself useful and followed Levi.

Levi was facing away from the door when Eren entered the kitchen. He had put the plates in the sink and was currently pouring the contents of a bottle of cheap vodka over the plates he had recently received from Hanji.

“Gross, is that the shit you gave me the other night? That’s practically lighter fluid.” Levi didn’t turn as he finished pouring every last bit of the liquor over the plates. “You had me drink something that you’re using to disinfect _plates_.”

“No, we finished that bottle ages ago. Hanji has sunk to new levels of shitty vodka. Though I think this one might actually be intended for experiments. Either way, I’m doing them a favor.” He set the empty bottle aside. “Don’t fucking buy anything in a plastic bottle unless you want to risk going blind.”

“No shit. I’ve been able to buy my own for two years and I have a decent paying job. No way in hell am I going back to drinking crappy alcohol like before.”

“So you’re implying that you were drinking before you were of age. That’s illegal you know.” Levi finally looked back and Eren’s eyes darted away as he shifted awkwardly. Levi gave an exasperated sigh. “Kid, I’m not the law, I’m a fucking vigilante. We don’t give a shit if you’ve done a few shots when you were seventeen. If you were working for a syndicate selling drugs that would be a different story entirely.”

Eren’s mind caught on the word immediately.

“A vigilante? Not a superhero?”

“I’ll wash, you dry.” Eren froze for a moment. He felt like he had missed a step walking up a flight of stairs with the abrupt change of topic. Levi gestured to a drawer a few feet away. “There are dish towels in there.”

“O-okay. Right.” Eren grabbed a dish towel and started drying dishes as Levi passed them off to him and stacking them on the side as he finished drying them. _Vigilante versus superhero…? He thinks of himself as a vigilante but not a superhero. Even though he works with a group of people who call themselves superheroes. Is there such a big difference? I guess “superhero” seems more respectable doesn’t it? They’re role model, people you want to look up to. They’re symbolic. But a vigilante is just someone taking justice into their own hands. Is that what Levi thinks of himself as? Just someone who dishes out justice?_

He pulled himself out of his thoughts as Levi handed the last dish to him.

“Hanji’s probably done putting their shit away. Try not to have too much fun answering their questions. Just remember, it’s _for science_.”

 

Eren quickly realized just how sarcastic Levi was being when he said to not have too much fun. Thus far he had enjoyed talking to Hanji about their research, but apparently once they got going they were unstoppable and the questions they were asking became more and more invasive. He looked away from Hanji for a moment, pretending that he had to cough and saw that there was nobody there to save him; Mike and Nanaba had left and Levi was nowhere to be seen either. He said a silent prayer to whatever deity might exist that _something_ would happen to distract Hanji.

Ten minutes later his prayer was answered when Erwin walked in.

“Hanji, if you aren’t busy I’d like to talk to you about –” He immediately stopped speaking when he saw Eren and frowned and paused. “It isn’t particularly pressing, I can wait.”

“No!” Eren looked at the both of them sheepishly. “I need to get home anyway. I promised my sister I wouldn’t be home too late and it’s uh… getting to about the time I need to head home.” _Liar._

“I’m sorry Eren, I didn’t realize that you needed to be home by a certain time. You should have told me.” Hanji was looking at him giving him an apologetic look.

“It’s totally okay. I’ll be fine. See you… at some point?” _Am I going to have to just show up here and refuse to leave until they give me some answers?_

“Probably in a few days. Hanji will be in touch with you.” Erwin gave him a slight smile. “Thank you for being patient with us.”

“Yeah. No problem.” _No, really fucking big problem. I don’t know shit._

Eren grabbed his things and moved quickly towards the door before Hanji could think of anything else to ask him. The brightness of the main room had blinded him slightly and when he walked into the hallway he ended up walking directly into Levi.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I couldn’t see.” The apology was immediate and he braced himself for some sort of sarcastic remark but none came.

“Everyone keeps saying they’re going to replace the bulb and nobody ever does.” Eren wasn’t entirely sure from Levi’s tone if he was stating that _to him_ or simply musing to himself.

“Still… sorry for crashing into you.”

“Hm. Done playing a second round of Twenty Questions with Hanji? How much _fun_ did you have?" _There's the sarcasm we all know and love._   _  
_

“It was an… experience.” He chose his words carefully, trying not to say anything that might be misconstrued. He did like Hanji and he knew that Hanji and Levi were fairly close.

“You’re putting it pretty lightly.”

“Okay fine, it fucking sucked. I didn’t realize that I needed to share my bowel movements with them _for science_.” Eren mimicked Levi’s earlier tone and heard the other man snort in amusement. He suddenly felt a little weird about the situation. _We’re standing in a practically unlit hallway talking about whatever._ “Anyway, I’m heading out. It was nice to see everyone for once.”

Levi didn't react to the jab at their near-complete lack of contact with Eren over the past two weeks. 

“Do you need a ride?” Eren felt everything come to a screeching halt, like he had been blindsided. Eren felt a sudden surge of frustration course through his body.

“Be friendly or be an asshole. Pick one.” It came out a bit harsher than he wanted but the strangeness of the situation amplified everything. He fumed all the way to the bus stop and as he sat there he felt the frustration to uncurl.

The first bus was packed but after he made the transfer the second bus was almost empty and dead silent, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts. _All he did was offer a ride. And fuck, I didn’t even thank him for the other night. Good job, Eren... It’s not just him who’s fucking up here, is it? It was just so out of the blue and half the times we talk we end up being assholes. Him more than me, but still. He didn’t have to offer but he did_

_He didn’t have to respond to my texts the other night either._

_He didn't have to check in with me the next morning._

_“It’s not like he doesn’t care at all… he cares in his own way.”_ Eren mulled over Hanji’s earlier text as he watched the sky began to darken. _He cares because I’m important to the Survey Corps and he cares because that’s what a hero does. He doesn’t think of himself as a hero but he wouldn’t do this if he was a complete misanthrope. And that’s really what it comes down to isn’t it? He can value human lives, but that doesn’t mean that he likes interacting with people. He values humanity as a whole but he refuses to connect or interact with individual people._

_“You seem really fucked up and I’m curious.”_

_I’m curious about you too._


	66. Capture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mini-chapter to begin the new arc! 
> 
> I'm going to go back and clean up the first six or seven chapters to bring the tone in line with the rest of the story. I've been considering it for a while and I've decided to be the biggest dick possible and do it now.

It had been a while since Eren had seen Marco, but when they had bumped into each other between classes he had insisted that they grab lunch together. For all the discomfort between Marco and Jean, Eren still considered Marco to be a close friend.

"We haven't had lunch together in ages, I thought you might have decided that we couldn't be friends anymore after what happened with Jean." Marco gave Eren a half-hearted smile.

"Never! I knew that the both of you needed some space to process everything and I figured I might as well try to get to know my new old friend."

"Well, circumstances aside, I _am_ glad that you and Jean are friends now."

"It's nice. I _have_ missed you though."

"Yeah, same."

They lapsed into a calm silence and Eren couldn't help but be distracted by the world outside the cafe windows. The sky was bright blue and the leaves were turning and the air was crisp and cool and refreshing. He could see construction paper cutouts of pumpkins and bats in windows and smiled; Halloween wasn't too far away. After a moment they both got up and cleared their plates before going outside again. They walked together as they caught up with one another, chatting about classes and their respective theses and complaining about how many first year students still needed directions to some of the buildings.

"Excuse me?" The voice was tentative and came from behind them. Both Marco and Eren turned around to face the woman who had called out. She was young and blond and Eren couldn't quite put a name to her face. _I think she's a first year bio student?_

"Can we help you?" Marco's smile was angelic even though the two of them had just been complaining about first years not knowing where things were. Eren couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

"We have a few questions."

It all happened in slow motion. Eren could see Marco's puzzled expression turn to shock as someone grabbed him from behind and shoved a rag over his face; he struggled a moment before his body went limp. Eren could feel arms coming from behind him as well and was unable to react in time; it was all happening and he couldn’t stop it. He was forced to face the woman as he was grabbed and went wide-eyed in shock and recognition. _She was flirting with me on the bus the other night._ Eren fought against the haziness in his mind as he and Marco were dragged into a van, trying to gather as much into his memory as possible. He had long since learned that anything could be useful later on. Just before he went unconscious he saw his assailant. _And that’s Eyebrows Guy from the bar._

Everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edits to the early chapters will get posted all at once and I'll do it right before I post the next new chapter. I know I'm going to fill in a few plot holes and narrative gaps so I'll make a list of those so you don't have to go back and re-read if you don't want to.
> 
> I should be back in a couple days. The material is already there, I just need to clean it up.
> 
> Until then, sit tight and appreciate the fact that I chose _the worst place possible_ to take a break.


	67. Alliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. I've decided to start doing fic writing commissions because I'm poor as hell and I love writing. I've already had a couple commission requests that I'm working on filling right now so there are only two slots open at the moment. New slots will open up as I fulfill commissions. It's first come, first served so if y'all want me to write something for you then you need to get on that. Information about pricing and what I will or will not write can be found on my [commissions page](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/commissions) on Tumblr. I don't want to just post my email publicly so if you can contact me via Tumblr with your email address we can go from there. Even if you don't have an account you should be able to send me a message. I'm 'mybrainproblems' over there as well.
> 
> Oh and for the list of edits that I made to the first ten chapters of ALYNA, refer to [this post](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/post/97830281489/changes-to-chapters-1-10-of-alyna)

The five of them were sitting together when Hanji’s cellphone began to ring. It startled them out of their discussion about what they were eating for dinner; Mike and Nanaba were insisting on pizza while Erwin, Hanji, and Levi were arguing for Vietnamese food.

“Were you expecting a call? I didn’t think Moblit or Nifa would have anything for us so quickly?” Erwin was looking at Hanji’s phone as it vibrated a tap dance across the table.

“No, it’s not a number I recognize. I’ll let it go and see if they leave a voice mail.” There was only a brief pause after it stopped ringing before it started again. “Well that’s rude.”

“Pick the damn thing up Hanji.” A concerned look had settled across Mike’s face. “Something’s wrong.”

Hanji stared at Mike for a moment in surprise and their cell phone started ringing for a third time. Hanji frowned at the number before picking up.

“Hello, who –” Hanji was immediately cut off by the person on the other end.

“Is this someone from the Survey Corps? I think you’re supposed to be Dr. Scientist?” The voice coming from the phone was pitched high and panicked. “I’m Red –I’m Eren’s sister. I need your help, Eren is missing.”

Dead silence hung over the table.

“This is Dr. Scientist – Hanji. We’re all listening on speaker, please tell us what happened. Are you sure that something _has_ happened to Eren?”

“Eren was on his way to class but he never showed up.” Levi snorted loudly.

“It’s not our fucking problem if your brother decides to skip class.”

“Armin –our AI – tracks the location of Eren’s phone which Eren keeps on him at all times. Even when the phone itself is dead, the tracker will emit a faint but traceable signal for a couple more hours. The entire signal disappeared all at once today and all of our friends have already helped to try and find him. We also discovered that another of our friends is missing as well.”

The five of them all exchanged glances and Hanji immediately stood up to walk the short distance to their work station, hands at the ready and hovering over the keyboard.

“You have our attention.” Erwin’s voice was calm and focused. “What was his last known location?”

“Pine St. between 103rd and 104th. There’s a café nearby that we all go to a lot.”

Hanji’s fingers were already flying across the keyboard, pulling up aerial and street view maps as they began to search for any security cameras they could potentially tap into.

“What time did you lose track of his signal?” Hanji was yelling so that their voice was audible to Mikasa.

“It was 2.13pm.”

“And you’re sure of the time and location?”

“Armin taps into a sophisticated satellite network. I know it’s not entirely le –”

 We don’t give a shit.” Levi interrupted Mikasa abruptly. “What else do you have?”

“Well our friends –some of whom are also heroes – already checked all of the usual places that he might be normally since the last time this happened it turned out he dropped his phone in a fish tank.” Mike snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough. “But another friend of ours who he was having lunch with disappeared as well. We don’t have the ability to access his phone and track it but you might.”

“I think I’ve got something!” Hanji’s voice rang out, full of excitement. All eyes turned to them. “It’s not much but it’s a start. There’s a van obstructing the closest security camera’s view, but at 2.06pm Eren and another boy – dark hair, slightly taller – passed behind the van and were followed by a blonde woman. When the van drives away at 2.12pm they’re no longer there. Eren doesn’t seem like the kind of person to not know the Stranger Danger song so I would put money on neither of them getting into that van willingly.”

“Is there a license plate number? Anything useful?” Mikasa’s voice was strained.

“I don’t have a good view of the plate at this angle. I’ll check a few other cameras in the area to see if those caught a better angle. All I’ve got is that their plate number starts with P and is followed by what I’m pretty sure is an 8, but there’s a chance it could be a B. There are a hell of a lot of white vans out there and this one doesn’t have any distinguishing marks on it. This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Even if we get a full view of the plate, it would still take hours to track it down.” Hanji paused and grimaced. “If this is the best I can do this is going to take days. It’s already almost 3pm and if they’ve already taken them outside of Trost…”

Hanji trailed off and there was only staticky silence on the other end of the phone. There was the sound of a shaky inhale before Mikasa spoke again.

“Whatever you need to do to find Eren, do it. If you need extra man power you have me and three of our friends who are also heroes. I don’t know if you would know them but we’re friends with The Hunter, Historia, and Savage Dancer.”

“You’re all Eren’s age?” Nanaba was making a pained face, the concern carrying over to her voice.

“And all of us have been on the streets patrolling for _at least_ two and a half years now.” Mikasa’s tone was snappish. “I was attacked by the Titans a month ago and now they’ve taken my brother and a close friend of ours. I’m not about to sit back watch – none of us are.” Nanaba’s face still looked pained, but she leaned back in her seat and nodded in silent assent.

“We accept, but we have conditions.” Erwin’s tone made it clear that he would brook no attempts to negotiate.

“What are your conditions?” Mikasa’s voice was tight and she was clearly gritting her teeth as she spoke.

“We take point on the search and strategizing the rescue. Of course we will keep you in the loop, but we would prefer things to not get muddied. I believe I’m correct in assuming that we have more experience in these sorts of situations than you do.”

“You’ll keep us informed and include us in your plans? Include us in the search?” Mikasa’s voice was suspicious.

“As best as possible. If we have to move quickly we might have to contact you _as_ we move out. Ideally this will not be the case, but there’s a chance it will happen. And yes, we will include you in the search. Please understand that this means taking directions from us.” Erwin’s voice was gentle but firm.

“Fine.”

“Is this phone number the best way to contact you? We’ll be reaching out again in the next hour.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for trusting us to help.”

“I don’t think we have any choice at this point.”

There was a click as Mikasa hung up abruptly.

 

“Charming.”

“Levi, her brother was just kidnapped.” Hanji’s tone was stern and glared as their eyes met. He broke his gaze away first and leaned back in his seat, his face blank.

“Mike, what does your nose tell you?” Erwin was staring at him intently.

“Danger. A lot of danger. We need to be careful – for everyone’s sake.”

Nanaba’s body was still tense as she put out her hand to intertwine it with Mike’s. She looked down and frowned at their hands, lost in thought. Mike turned to face her and squeezed her hand, she looked up to meet his concerned look with a weak smile.

“Gross. Save the lovey-dovey couple shit for later.” Nanaba and Mike both glared at Levi; he raised his hands in a gesture of apology and leaned further back into his seat. Nanaba rolled her eyes at him but her face quickly became serious again.

“They’re children.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“All of them are heroes. Young, yes; but not stupid and not inexperienced. It’s entirely their choice and we need to face the reality of this situation. We all know that Hanji was giving an ideal estimate, not necessarily a realistic one. We need the man power.” Erwin’s voice was soft and he met all of their eyes in turn. “This is hardly my first choice, but right now I think it may be the only good one.”

Silence settled over their group again as they lost themselves in their own thoughts. Levi was starting to get up to make some tea when Hanji began to speak, their tone tentative.

“I just might have a better partial on the license plate. I don’t think I’m going to get much better than this. It would be a waste of time to try and focus on getting something more exact than this before we begin to run a search.”

“When you say ‘partial’ how partial do you mean?” Erwin’s brow furrowed deeply as he spoke.

“I already said the plate starts with a P and I can say pretty definitively that it’s followed by an 8 and then a 3. Given the angle I can’t be certain about the fourth. I’d give it a fifty-fifty chance between it being an L or a D. It’s only half of a plate, but it’s better than nothing.”

“You can’t do any better?”

“I wish I could Erwin, but it would be a waste of time. I’m going to start with this and I can continue to look through security camera feeds but it hit a lot of traffic and then a blind spot. I’d be sifting through ten different feeds just to find out where it _might_ have gone next. That’s time that I could be spent trying to track down more leads. What do we want to guess at so I can prioritize? Titans or the MP?”

“What do your instincts say, Mike?” He disentangled his hand from Nanaba’s to scratch at his stubble.

“We haven’t seen or heard a damn thing that was concrete about the Titans since the first time they caught Eren. We’ve only got unreliable information from that MP guy Levi brought in and a few informants say that they’re almost nonentities since Smiles died. She’s the one who had her little gang terrorizing parts of the city. They’ve kept a low profile since then. Nothing out of the ordinary; drug deals with the syndicates, whispers about the recent bank heist being tied to them, but nothing really concrete. I’ve tapped out all my contacts' information. Even Skunks won’t talk for money.” Mike looked over at Levi. “You’ve been doing night recon down in the warehouse district and at the docks. Anything interesting?”

“Like you said: they’re dealing with the syndicates. If they had anything to do with the heist then that’s probably why they’re suddenly more active there.”

“You’ve been watching major drug deals going down and you haven’t done a thing, Levi?” Nanaba’s voice was exasperated.

“I told him to take a hands-off approach. Engage only if absolutely necessary.” Erwin gave her an apologetic look.

“I don’t even know if they’re actually a part of the Titans or just fucking middle men. Honestly, I don’t even know if they’re buying drugs. There hasn’t been much of a rise in street activity so they might be dealing in something else entirely.”

“You’ve been down there regularly the past few nights. If you had to hazard a guess that as to what they’re buying besides drugs what would it be?” They were all looking intently at Levi.

“Weapons. A lot of weapons.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The likelihood that I will get to mention this in the super near future is minimal, so I'm going to just give you a quick blurb about Moblit and Nifa.
> 
> Hanji went to college with the both of them. They are the SC's contacts with the Trost police department. Nifa works in the crime scene lab so she has access to all of the databases and can give them information about autopsies and what the police find at crime scenes and the SC can feed her information in return (e.g. check for xyz thing that is the signature of a specific group or w/e). Moblit works as a detective so he can give them information about what the police are doing on the streets and let the SC know if there are any administrative change-ups happening. Similar to their relationship with Nifa, they can let him know if they think anything big is about to go down at the street-level or whatever. 
> 
> I'm not sure how much they'll actually be showing up though which is a bummer because I love Moblit.


	68. Regroup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: Sorry this is short and it took so long for such a short thing, I had awful writer's block on it. Basically I want to write everything that comes after it but I couldn't really skip it.
> 
> Next: I cleaned up the tags a bit so there's less clutter / commentary. I did have to keep "hella sticklebacks all up in this business" and "There is no fucking eruri in this shit holy fuck why do I feel like I have to tag this" just for posterity though.
> 
> Tags added: Blood, Violence, Blood and Violence  
>  **NOTE: There is character death in this arc.**
> 
> Clearly I'll be putting a character death warning at the top of the chapter it happens in and I'll change the tag to "Canonical Character Death" a chapter or two before. It doesn't happen for a while so don't stress too much.

Five sets of eyes snapped to Mikasa as she re-entered the kitchen.

“So what did they say?” Jean’s question came before she could even say a word.

“Well clearly they’re going to help since they also have an interest in Eren not staying kidnapped. But they had a condition.”

“What do they want from us?” Sasha gave Mikasa a puzzled look. “We don’t have any resources that even approach what they have.”

“They’re taking point on the search and rescue. They said they’ll keep us in the loop and include us but they’re organizing everything.”

“And if we don’t want to?” Ymir’s tone was defiant.

“I already told them we would. We don’t have any other choice. If I had said no they would have gone and done whatever they’re going to do and we wouldn’t know a damn thing. This way we know what’s going on.” Mikasa paused for a moment. “I think they need the manpower too. Especially given what Dr. Scientist found while I was on the phone.”

“Well what did they say?”

“Marco and Eren were kidnapped and pulled into an unmarked white van.” She held up her hand to forestall any questions. “They only got a partial view of the plate number and they _are_ right when they say that without a complete plate or any identifying marks it’s going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. They’ve been missing for about forty-five minutes now and Dr. Scientist made the good point that if they’re heading out of Trost…”

The entire room was silent as everyone thought about what that meant.

“So are they running even the partial plate? Is somebody looking at where they were taken from? Are they doing anything right now? Because I can think of more than a few things that they should be doing.” Sasha’s tone was frustrated and she was staring demandingly at Mikasa. “Did they say anything?”

“They said they’d call within the hour. They wanted to check on things before getting back to us I guess and it’s not really worth staying on the phone while they run some searches.”

“Well let me talk to them the next time they call. This is my specialty, tracking is what I _do_.”

“I _know_ Sasha.” Mikasa snapped at her and everybody stood on edge for a moment before Mikasa let out a shaky breath and relaxed. “I’m sorry. I know you’re trying to help. It’s just that this is more stressful than I’m used to. Eren gets kidnapped more than either of us would like but it’s never been like this before.”

“So what now? We just wait for them to call?” Jean’s voice was quiet as he slumped against the wall.

“Yeah. I don’t this it’s going to be too long.”

They all stood in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts as they waited for the phone to ring.

It wasn’t even a call that roused them from their positions.

 **[Hanji:]** Corner of 10th and Spring. Thirty minutes.

 

It wasn’t the most pleasant drive with all six of them piled into Jean’s car. Ostensibly it sat five but was only comfortable with four; with six it was almost unbearable. The ride was made more unpleasant by the fact that they got stuck in traffic so what should have been just under half an hour ended up being forty minutes.

“Jean. Drive faster.” Mikasa was practically growling at him as Jean gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles going white.

“I’m already going over the speed limit.”

“I don’t give a shit. We’re already running late and every minute we spend not doing something productive is a minute that could be dedicated to finding Eren.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that already, Mikasa!? And don’t forget that Marco’s missing too okay!?” Jean’s outburst was loud enough that everyone in the car cringed. Mikasa deflated slightly and turned to look out the window.

“I’m sorry. I forgot…” Jean tensed up and Mikasa paused. “I forgot how long you’ve known Marco.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” His shoulders dropped as he relaxed slightly.

“Should we even be coming along? Jean and I aren’t exactly heroes… we aren’t even _sidekicks._ ”

“Hey Connie, you _said_ it would be super cool to meet the Survey Corps. Well now you get to!” Sasha was beaming at him.

“Not like this th–”

“We’re here! Now everybody get out so I can breathe again.” Sasha interrupted Connie loudly and shoved at Ymir to open the door. Everyone stepped out and stretched as they walked the half-block to the corner.

“There’s nobody around but I still feel awkward walking around with my regalia in broad daylight.” Krista touched her tiara to straighten it. “At least I can fit the damn scepter and mask in my bag.”

“Babe, you look gorgeous.” Ymir draped her arm around Krista’s shoulders who rolled her eyes and shrugged Ymir off. As they got to the corner they began to look around, trying to find something that might indicate where they were supposed to be going. Mikasa’s phone chimed again.

 **[Hanji:]** 1037 on 10th. Take the elevator to the third floor #3B

Mikasa gave her phone a disgruntled look before walking down the street looking for the correct building with everyone else in tow, grumbling to herself.

“Because it’s not at all obvious that a large group of people are going to this location or that one of them is carrying a bow and another has a tiara on and a scepter sticking out of her bag. We’d only look normal on _Halloween_ …”

“Hey, my bow and quiver aren’t that obvious and okay yeah, Krista is wearing a tiara but I can’t really see her scepter.”

“My point is that if they’re trying to do this without attracting any attention this doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe they expected us to _not_ meet with them all geared up?”

“I _highly_ doubt that _they’re_ going to be unmasked so _we_ aren’t going to be either.”

Sasha rolled her eyes at Mikasa’s back as she entered the building first and Ymir scoffed as they walked through the unlocked main door and headed towards the elevator.

“Not very security-minded are they?” She looked at the elevator button as she pressed it. “They aren’t even _trying_ here, are they? How have they not been killed yet?”

“ _Ymir,_ they knew we were coming.”

“Always so quick do defend others! Isn’t Historia so very sweet and kind?”

“Shut _up_ , Ymir.” Krista swatted at Ymir with her scepter as she put her mask on. Mikasa pulled her scarf up further on her face and Sasha put her mask on as well and shifted her bow and quiver so that it sat more comfortably – and more prominently – on her back. Jean and Connie gave each other serious looks and shook hands and nodded at each other causing Sasha to start laughing.

“Are you forgetting why we’re here?” Mikasa hissed her words through clenched teeth and glared over her scarf. Sasha immediately stopped laughing and leaned against the elevator wall.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to start mirroring ALYNA over on FFN because I've seen three different people in the past _week_ run into issues with their work on AO3 being stolen and posted to FFN so I'm taking advantage of the fact that they're better about dealing with that shit if both works are there to begin with.
> 
> And yeah I doubt anybody would want to steal ALYNA but this is insurance for my sanity because I would absolutely have a meltdown if that happened to me. Also I can sit down between Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and idk, Kitsune Bloodraven or some shit and we can have a tea party.


	69. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Life happened and I'm starting a 9-5 job tomorrow so there will probably be longer gaps between chapters now. I'm going to try and hammer out the next chapter sooner rather than later because this chapter and the next are really boring for me to write and I just want to get it over with. (-_-;)

The hallway they stepped into was empty and slightly shabby, the same as the rest of the building. There were only two doors which made finding #3B very simple. Mikasa hesitated a moment to take a deep breath before knocking. The lack of immediate response caused all of them to shift uncomfortably as they waited. When the door opened suddenly Jean ended up jumping and bumping into Krista, nearly toppling her over and earning a glare from Ymir.

“Well hello there! Come in, come in.” Hanji beckoned them into the apartment and shut the door behind them before turning back to them and sticking out their hand. “I’m Dr. Scientist, the one over on the couch is Nose, Commander Handsome is the one over by the table, and Hawk is in the kitchen making some tea but he should be out in a moment.”

Mike got up from the couch to shake all of their hands and not-so-surreptitiously sniff them. All of them shifted away uncomfortably as he did so. Erwin came over as well after a moment and came to shake their hands as well and much to their relief did nothing more than that.

“I can tell who Red Scarf is.” Erwin inclined his head at Mikasa. “But unfortunately I’m not certain as to the rest of your identities.”

“I’m The Hunter. I’m an expert marksman with a bow.”

“I’m Historia and I’m telekinetic.”

“Savage Dancer, shapeshifting.”

“Um, I’m Connie and I live with The Hunter.”

“And I’m Jean and I drove us all here.” Both Connie and Jean shifted uncomfortably but nobody remarked on their lack of hero status. Erwin simply frowned slightly but nodded in acknowledgement nonetheless.

“You don’t cover your face at all?” Hanji was looking at Ymir, intrigued by her choice.

“My face is unrecognizable when I transform. Unfortunately I also have claws over four inches long which would make this little meeting a bit of a pain in the ass.”

“Fair enough. Oh, and here’s Hawk!” Levi had just walked out of the kitchen holding a steaming mug of tea. His eyes flicked over to the six of them.

“What they said. I have ears so don’t introduce yourselves again, let’s just get to this.” He put his mug down on the table as everyone else walked over. Mikasa looked torn between wanting to punch him for being rude and wanting to thank him for being so focused on the task at hand.

“So what have you figured out since we spoke earlier?” Mikasa was addressing Hanji directly.

“I got a larger partial on the plate. Three confirmed digits and one that’s a toss-up between two letters. Nose and Hawk went out to take a look at the site almost immediately after you called. It was only a quick look, but there wasn’t much to get really.” Hanji nodded at the both of them and Mike picked up where they left off.

“A decent amount of time passed since Eren and Marco were taken, but there was a lingering smell of chloroform. Whoever it was who grabbed them touched the lamp post behind the van. It doesn’t tell us much besides that they used chloroform though. Hawk is the one who actually found something useful.” Mike jerked his head at Levi.

“When they made their getaway they scuffed their bumper against the car in front of them. There wasn’t a lot to get a sample of, but it’s a start.” Levi shrugged and Hanji jumped in to continue talking.

“Our kidnappers took the badges off their van, but a lot of car manufacturers have specific types of paint. The fact that we have such a small sample makes it a bit more difficult but a friend is running it to see if we can pin down who the manufacturer is. We’re hoping it’s a less-common type of paint.”

“Which means,” Erwin broke in to complete the circle of conversation, “if we can narrow down it down to a more specific manufacturer and combine that with almost a half-partial of their license plate number, we’ll be in very good shape. Even just having three definite digits does put us in decent shape even if unmarked white vans are very common. Speaking of… Hanji, when do you think Nifa will have the results for the partial plate search?”

“She said probably tonight but she warned me that we shouldn’t get our hopes up. We all know how common white vans are and who’s to say that it wasn’t registered as being green and then repainted with after-market generic paint.”

“My guess is that it’s a rental.” Everyone turned to look at Sasha as she let her gaze fall to the floor and chewed at her right thumb as she voiced her thoughts. “If they stole it then the vehicle is already is already flagged in the system. They don’t want to draw attention to themselves so they’d be driving like saints to begin with but it only takes one overzealous cop to completely mess things up for them. And if they own the van there’s some tie to them so I highly doubt they’d do that.” Hanji nodded and scribbled down some notes before speaking.

“Yeah, they’ll probably have either rented it for either a couple hours – so just long enough to kidnap them and stash them somewhere – or they’ve got it rented for way longer to keep the van out of sight while we’re trying to look for it. If it has an easily identifiable type of paint though we might be able to figure out where it came from.” Erwin unrolled a map and placed in down on the table and continued to speak while Levi and Mike moved to weigh down the corners.

“We’ve already begun to formulate a plan for how we move forward once we have the results. This isn’t as detailed as I’d like, but our holograph table is at our headquarters. We’re drawn a perimeter for where they could have gotten to within a certain time period.” He pointed at the color coded outlines drawn over a map of Trost and its outlying areas. “This blue is how far they could have gotten in roughly fifteen minutes. If we can map out enough points within that area we might be able to figure out a rough trajectory. The red lines encompass the possible distance they could have traveled by the time Mikasa spoke with us, which was roughly forty-five minutes later. As you can see, that already includes areas beyond the northern border of Trost at which point they would be on the highway.”

“It’s just after 4.30 now. It’s been over two hours.” Mikasa’s voice was quiet.

“However, the red area doesn’t reach all the way to the southern part of Trost.” Erwin pointed at the southern region. “Getting there would have taken about an hour given the traffic in some areas. If we can figure out a rough trajectory in the first fifteen minutes we might be able to rule out them heading too far out of Trost.” Hanji made a frustrated noise causing everyone to look at them.

“I’ve already said that it’s too much work to try and track the van via security camera footage. It took only a couple blocks before I lost it completely at an intersection. It’s unmarked, so one corner with a blind spot and we’ve lost it. It’s just too much work and it’s not something you can have multiple people working on.”

“A _human_ couldn’t follow it.” Jean gave Mikasa a pointed look. “But an AI could do it.”

“Would you be comfortable with us bringing in our AI? Armin might be a little slow since he’d be accessing everything remotely, but he’d be faster than a person would. We wouldn’t lose anyone that way either?”

“I forgot you had an AI.” Hanjii was grinning excitedly now. “Okay, that changes things completely. We’ll put him on that task, that’s perfect! But why would he be slow?”

“He’s not complete. Marco finished the code to the point where he could be turned on, but he’s technically not finished, he was going to do a huge overhaul after graduation when he had more time.”

“Even if he isn’t complete that’s still impressive. Who’s Marco though? I’d definitely like to meet him.”

“He’s the one who got kidnapped with Eren.” Jean was openly glaring at Hanji. “So if you want to have a chat with him you should probably get on –”

A phone started ringing loudly, cutting off Jean. Everyone looked confusedly at one another until all eyes came to rest back on Jean’s bright red face.

“Sorry I forgot to... Fuck.” Jean picked up the phone in a panic and rise in volume as he spoke. “Mrs. Bodt! Hi um… yeah Marco isn’t… he isn’t with me he’s uh… I’m not…”

Erwin silently held out his hand for the phone and Jean passed it off to him and looking like he was going to throw up.

“Hello, Mrs. Bodt? This is Commander Handsome…” Erwin walked into the next room and shut the door behind him.

“Marco’s mom is probably going out of her mind. She completely freaked out when we were fifteen and his phone died while we were out getting ice cream. I can’t imagine how she’s going to take this. Though I guess she’ll be a bit less of a nervous wreck knowing that the Survey Corps is involved?” Jean turned to Mike, Hanji and Levi and gave them a halfhearted smile that Mike returned.

“Hopefully.”

They stood around, listening to the buzz of Erwin’s voice in the neighboring room and waiting for him to return. Mikasa and Hanji had moved off to the side to start linking Armin into their system so that he could begin searching through the data that they had. When Erwin walked back through the door everyone turned immediately to look at him.

“I told them the bare minimum about what’s going on and assured them that we’re doing all that we can to retrieve Eren and Marco. In the future, turn off your cellphones before any meetings.” He returned Jean’s (now powered-down) phone to him before straightening up and addressing everyone. “As soon as we have any results on the license plate number or the paint sample I want everyone to get moving. How many of you would be available immediately?”

“I just got cleared to return to hero work by Armin recently. I’m free whenever.”

“My course work is pretty light at the moment, so unless I have class I should be free. That means we might have to drop our evening patrols on short notice though, doesn’t it?” Sasha’s face was slightly troubled. Erwin frowned before responding.

“Unfortunately, yes. Savage Dancer and Historia, are the both of you free?”

“I only work part time as a taxi dispatch, but the day shifts are pretty easy to get someone to cover for.” Ymir shrugged.

“And I work at a café. The manager really likes me so I could probably get away with ducking out for a ‘family emergency’ if I had to. Being small and blond has its advantages.”

“Good, you can all get Dr. Scientist’s number from Red Scarf but if we could get all of yours before you left, we would appreciate that.”

“So there isn’t anything we can do?” Connie’s body was tense as he looked at Erwin. “They’re our friends too.”

“When we have leg work that needs to be done you might be able to help. Other than that –”

“You’d be getting in the way.” Levi’s tone was matter of fact. In spite of the furious looks that Connie and Jean were giving him he continued. “If you don’t have any powers or abilities or anything you might end up running into some shit and we can’t spare people to save your asses too.”

The glares that Levi received from Mike and Hanji had him ducking his head down to stare at his now-empty mug of tea. There was an awkward beat of silence before everyone started moving again to trade contact information. Connie and Jean stood glumly off to the side and Jean shot a murderous glare (that was ignored) at Levi as they regrouped to leave. None of them spoke to one another until they were back in the car.

Connie ended up being the one to break the silence.

“So wow, The Hawk lives up to his reputation of ‘complete asshole’ doesn’t he?”


	70. The Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this longhand and then typed up just now and I really only edited for typos because I'm about to get turnt with friends and watch Tropic Thunder and get hella drunk.
> 
> Later losers.

“The rental place down on 30th was a bust too. They haven’t had a single rental in the past few days. Unless the third place is the one we're looking for then we’re fucked and Historia and I have been working our asses off and taking off work for nothing.” Ymir glared at the Survey Corps.

“Trust us, we hope that the last place is it too.” Hanji’s face was lined with worry and they ducked their head to look at their laptop. “Did you happen to get a sample of paint off of the vans at either rental place?”

“The fact that they weren’t willing to talk to us after it was clear we weren’t renting meant there was no way they were letting us get close to their rentals.” Krista frowned and shook her head. “We both doubt that either place was lying so it didn’t seem like we needed to check anything else out.”

“So that leaves us with two out of three rental places being wrong as well as all four used car dealers.” Erwin had his head resting forward on  steepled fingers, his brow furrowed as he continued. “If the last place isn’t it  our search area needs to be widened. Maybe the van _is_ theirs or it came from a dealership or rental place outside of Trost.”

“Pretty far away then. I asked Nifa to run the results regionally and there were just the three rental locations and the four used car dealerships in Trost that matched our requirements. The next closest place was thirty miles outside of Trost. I can’t see them driving from that far away just to have a van that’s more difficult for us to find. Has Armin found anything more? I know he had them for a solid six blocks.” Hanji’s abrupt change in topic startled Mikasa out of a stupor.

“No. They hit really bad traffic and the driver  really good at weaving in and out of lanes. There was just too much data for Armin to track. I’m sorry, but I had to stop his search. Marco isn't here to fix Armin and he was on the verge of a meltdown.”

“That’s completely fine. I wasn’t expecting to get even that far so it’s still a help to us. Do you have a map of where Armin tracked them to?”

“I doubt it’s going to help much. They were definitely trying to avoid being tracked by an AI or anything like that they were zig-zagging around. They might have been heading south but there are so many one-way streets around the university that I don’t think we can be sure. Armin lost them at an intersection where they might have headed downtown or towards the riverfront, but they also could have gone east to connect with the highway.” Mikasa stood up and reached into her pocket to offer  a flash drive. “That’s all the data Armin was able to pull.”

Thank you. We might be able to make some use of this. Who knows?”

“I’ve been hunting and tracking since I was a kid and I can’t figure out how a handful of blocks are going to do anything for us if we've got no other good information.” Sasha was looking at them dubiously.

“It’s not as though you’ve been the only ones running around interrogating rental agents and car salesmen.” Mike was smiling slightly at them. “Commander and Dr. Scientist have been doing back end logistics and Hawk and I have been having all sorts of lovely chats with people about what they might know.”

“Speaking of. Where is the midget?” Hanji snorted at Mikasa’s question and Mike and Erwin tried to cover their laughter with coughing.

“Sleeping probably.” Hanji continued to talk as Mikasa’s expression went taut in anger. “Some people only talk at night. Hawk’s abilities are far more suited to that than any of ours. We’re also completely aware of the fact that he’s…”

“He’s not exactly a people person.” Mike shrugged. “You get used to it.

“Actually, he might be awake by now.” Erwin was looking at the clock. “It’s almost five now and he was heading home from headquarters around nine this morning. Hanji, do you think you could call him? He doesn’t have to come here, but we can at least update him and conference him in.”

“Well I’m going to go into the other room to do that. Nobody else needs to hear him if I wake him up.”

As the door shut behind Hanji, Erwin turned to them and began to speak again.

“Ah. It doesn’t matter if we continue while Hanji isn’t here since they already know this, but we’re relatively certain that the ones who kidnapped Eren and Marco were part of the Titans. I spoke with a few contacts with the Military Police and they said it’s not them. The Titans kept it quiet enough that the Military Police had no idea Eren was even gone. I’d imagine that after I’ve asked around they’ll be aware though. Not that it's a bad thing. They have access to a network we couldn’t even consider being able to use and if we follow closely enough we might be able to figure some things out ourselves.” Erwin stopped talking and looked up as Hanji reentered the room.

“I’ve got Hawk on speaker.” They held up their phone. “Why don’t you say hello to everyone?”

Fuck off. Anything new happen?”

“They hit up two of the three rental places and all four used car dealerships but neither were what we’re looking for.”

“Could’ve told you that. Checked your email in the last fifteen minutes?”

“We’ve been working through what we have. Why?”

“Nifa copied me on what she sent you. She found the van.”

“She found it?!” Hanji dropped the phone on the table and practically ran to their computer. Their expression quickly fell into one of disappointment and they turned to face everyone else. “The police recovered a van matching our make and model right down to traces of chloroform. It belonged to a George Johnson. He was found dead next to the van with a single gunshot to the back of the head.”

Silence settled over the room at Hanji’s words. Erwin’s face betrayed nothing while Mike and Hanji’s expressions were grim. Sasha and Krista were staring at one another blankly while Ymir moved to bring her arms around Krista. Mikasa looked like she was on the verge of screaming.

“There has to be something. There _has_ to be.” Mikasa’s voice was shaky and her knuckles were white as she clenched her hands into fists.

“No dice. I called Nifa when I saw the email and hadn’t heard from anyone. She said she’s trying to push more analysis shit through the lab but the bastard was just released from Rose Penitentiary. Did time because of his involvement with the Military Police in a string of robberies and drug running, also had two charges of manslaughter… the list goes on. He shouldn’t have been out this early with a record like his, but here he is dead not a week after he got out.”

“Well he was almost certainly involved with the Titans.”

“Commander?” Mike was giving him a puzzled look.

“His tattoo of the Military Police crest on his left arm was partially burnt off and healed. You can see it in the crime scene photos Nifa sent. You wouldn’t do that if you were going to just not involve yourself with a gang in a prison. You’d only do that if you were renouncing your allegiances. Given everything, I think the Titans are gaining a presence in the prison system and that he’s linked to them.”

“So they got one of their own to lend them a van only to shoot him in the head for his trouble?” Mike’s voice was quiet and he brought his hand to his face to brush his stubbled chin.

“And those are the people who have Eren and Marco?” Mikasa tried to catch their eyes, but Mike and Hanji refused to meet hers. Erwin didn’t meet her eyes so much as he simply matched her gaze. She deflated and hung her head. “We can’t do anything more, can we?”

“Not with the information that we have. We should start looking into George Johnson. Dr. Scientist, get a hold of Nifa and Moblit and see what they can pull. Nose, you and Hawk should check out his place. Maybe there’s something there.” Erwin paused as Sasha, Krista and Ymir moved forward to stand next to Mikasa, all of them looking at him expectantly. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough here to give you something and I can’t throw you into situations like this blindly.”

“Situations like what? Checking out a dead guy’s house?” Ymir snorted at Sasha’s comment.

“It’s not that I doubt any of your abilities, but we have more experience with this.”

“And we’re supposed to get that experience  _how?_ ” Erwin opened his mouth to respond but Levi’s voice came through before he could get in a word.

“Oi. Brats. Worry about your shitty wounded pride when you’ve got your friends back. You want them back with as little damage as possible? Let us do our fucking jobs.”

An awkward silence fell over them and everyone shifted around uncomfortably. Sasha mumbled a half-hearted apology that Erwin brushed away, gesturing that it wasn’t her fault. He began to dictate to Mike and Levi what he wanted them to check out while Hanji chimed in based on what little additional information Nifa was able to give them. Erwin had just started to go over what he wanted them to ask the neighbors when Mikasa’s phone went off. She pulled it out and looked up at everyone else.

“It’s Armin.” She picked up the phone and put it on speaker.

“I’ve got new data.”

“What? Armin, I told you to leave the van alone. Besides, we found the van.”

“No, I mean that I got a brief signal from Eren’s phone!”

“You what?!” Her eyes flew wide and everyone turned their heads to look at the phone in her hand.

“It was a really faint signal and it was really brief so I only have rough coordinates. Eren’s phone must be out of battery and his phone was somewhere without signal period. “

“Well where is he?” Mikasa’s voice took on a panicked edge.

“How rough?” Erwin was standing up and walking over. “Can you send us the coordinates?”

“Yep! Sending them now.”

“This looks familiar. Hawk, can you see this on your end?”

“It’s the northwestern area of the palisades. Hell of a place to bring two kids.”

“We have to go then!” Mikasa’s tone was excited. “We know where they are, so let’s go.”

“Unfortunately, we really don’t.” Hanji gave Mikasa an apologetic look. “Armin, how large of an area does this map cover?”

“One point zero one nine square miles. There are lots of structures in the area as well as informal alleyways though and I don’t have accurate vector data for that area so that's going to be a lot of area to cover.”

“See, we need to go ourselves!” Krista’s fists were balled up and her jaw clenched for a moment before she relaxed slightly and her expression softened. “We need to get our friends.”

“Please don’t think that we don’t care, but we can’t just go charging in half-cocked like this.” Hanji’s voice was soft as they tried to smooth things over.

“Then what are we supposed to do? You promised me that we would be included and I feel like you’re just trying to push us out now.”

“If all of us rush in then they’re going to know that we’re there and we’ll have lost the element of surprise.” Mike kept his voice level as he continued. “We need as few people as possible. Don’t we, Commander?”

“I’m sorry that we’re making you completely nocturnal, Hawk but we need you to check out the palisades tonight. You have the coordinates.”

“Yeah, let me just clear my busy social calendar first.”

“Very funny. What time do you think you’ll be there?”

“After dark, before dawn.”

“Because that’s not incredibly vague.” Mikasa’s voice was sarcastic.

“Ever been to the palisades? It’s a fucking disaster. Put Hanji on so we can go over the details."


	71. Questioning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'd have this posted a couple days ago but uh... I kinda had an emotional breakdown. But it's totally cool now! My super rad ex stuck around and we talked about fucking Shingeki and video games until I calmed down. He's currently catching up with ALYNA so whenever he gets here, shout outs to jmd.
> 
> Okay. So. Actual story things. This chapter ended up being a little bit more visceral than I intended. Nothing too graphic, but as someone with heinous claustrophobia the fact that Eren is bound and gagged for the vast majority of the chapter kinda freaked me out. Just uh... expect that most of the chapters in this arc will have blood/violence in them.

Eren didn’t know how long he had been out when he opened his eyes; his mind was fuzzy and he wasn’t completely aware of his surroundings. He suddenly became aware of the feeling of hands on him and his heart rate immediately doubled and he lashed out instinctively, only to find himself bound and gagged. He felt a hand reach into his pocket and take out his phone before the other person withdrew. Eren only became aware of how harsh his breathing had become when the other person moved away completely and his heart rate and breathing began to even out. He watched them put his phone into a box and in the brief moment that their face was illuminated by the phone he began to panic again. They were wearing a mask that gave them the illusion of having eyes sunk so deeply into their head that they were almost invisible and while there was nothing egregiously distorted with their mouth the way that Smiles’ mask had been, it was wide enough that it looked like it was starting to split their cheeks open. Whatever he had been drugged with was wearing off but the remaining fuzziness had him frozen in terror as his brain’s comprehension stayed consistently one step behind his observations. When the other person turned to face him fully he couldn’t fake unconsciousness. He could feel how wide his eyes were and he realized that the strange muffled whimpers were coming from him.

As the hand reached out to him his eye caught on the shadowy outline of prone form only a couple of feet from his own.

_Marco…_

The hand was over his mouth now.

 

The next time consciousness broke over Eren he was being dumped onto the floor. He cringed in pain as the cloth that had been over his head was pulled off and the light hit his eyes. His eyes still hadn’t adjusted when he heard a door slam behind him and a deadbolt lock into place.

“Eren…?” Marco’s voice was tentative and he could hear the barely contained panic.

“Yeah?” His eyes had adjusted to the light, but everything felt like it was blurry and he could feel his mind working at a much slower pace than usual.

“We’re going to get out of here, right?”

“Yeah. I mean… Mikasa and everyone… the Survey Corps. They’re going to… they’ll find us.” Eren could feel everything swimming around him. He couldn’t keep track of whether or not he was vocalizing his thoughts or if everything was in his head. “Are you… thinking okay?”

“Well, I’m on the verge of having a panic attack.” The nervous edge to his voice was coming to the forefront of his tone.

“No like… my head isn’t… everything’s weird.”

“I think they drugged you with something stronger. I was awake most of the ride here, but you weren’t even moving.”

“Ride?”

“Don’t you remember being pulled into a van?”

“I guess yeah.” Memories were starting to stitch themselves together and Eren’s brow furrowed as he tried to connect the dots.

“Well we drove for a while. The van was dark so I don’t know how long, but I would guess we’re outside of Trost now.” Eren wrapped his arms around his legs to pull them up to his chest and pressed his face into his knees, folding in on himself. His breath quickly became quick and shallow as his mind pulled bits and pieces of memories. _Oh god no. Oh no, please no. We can’t be far. We can’t, we can’t. They need to find us. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry._

“I’m sorry, Marco.” It was a rough whisper and Eren almost expected that Marco wouldn’t hear it.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. It’s not like you wanted either of us to be kidnapped. Just breathe.”

Eren began to breathe slower and deeper, gradually evening out his breathing and forcing himself to relax. Marco gave him a weak smile of encouragement in spite of their predicament. Not only could Eren feel his breathing becoming more regular, he could also feel the fog in his mind beginning to lift. He looked around and took in their surroundings.

_Okay, so we’re in a small room. There’s a bare lightbulb that makes my eyes feel like someone’s stabbing them. We have a window and I think that it’s night out? What else? A heavy door. This room isn’t quite a square, probably something like ten feet by twelve feet or something. At least we can lay out completely. It doesn’t look like we have anywhere to sleep though. No. We aren’t going to be here that long. Mikasa and Krista and Ymir and the Survey Corps are all going to come charging in any minute now because Armin is going to get a lock on my phone’s signal and yeah. They’ll be here soon._

He had just gotten himself fully under control and was about to talk to Marco again when the door swung open just long enough for a couple of bottles of water to be placed inside of the door before closing again. Marco stared at him as he moved to grab one of the waters.

“If they wanted us dead, I think we would be already.” The look Marco gave him had him looking down at the floor. “It’s just that I think dehydration would be a worse way to go than poison.”

Marco only gave him a dubious look before opening one of the water bottles for himself.

“Well, the cap was still sealed so I guess…”

Eren tipped the water back and drank deeply, watching Marco do the same. There was something slightly off about the water and he kept trying to place it as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier and everything around him slowed down. He watched quietly as Marco clearly began to experience the same, although unlike Eren he seemed to fall asleep fairly quickly. He tried to run through things in his mind even as it started to shut down. _It tasted odd… it tasted… salty? Fuck everything, rohypnol._

 

There was light outside the window when he woke up. A body towered over him and Eren froze when he saw the mask on the person’s face, the same as the one on the person in the van. The memory of that terror coursed through him again and the stiffness that took his body made it even easier for the other person to grab him. He felt the pull of rope at his wrists and a gag tightening at his mouth while a second person quickly slammed the door before Marco had time to react. He barely caught a glimpse of the outside of the door when his face was engulfed in dark fabric again.

Eren tried to step as carefully as possible knowing that he would be unable to break his own fall with his arms tied behind his back but he couldn’t help but stumble as his captor half-dragged him along. They finally reached a point where they paused and he heard a door open. He felt a hand on his back and he was suddenly being pushed forward though (presumably) the doorway. Unable to catch himself, he fell hard onto his knees, a hand grabbed the back of his shirt just in time to stop him from pitching forward onto his face. He was quickly hauled up and pushed backwards roughly. Panic welled up again as he prepared to fall backwards to the floor but the panic was dampened as he felt himself fall into a chair. The bonds on his wrists were cut but he was only free for a moment before they were tied again, this time to the arms of the chair. Eren pulled at the restraints, trying to gauge if there was any possibility for escape and finding them to be just loose enough to not cut off circulation. He hadn’t quite finished investigating his bonds when he felt someone cuff him on the head so hard that he saw stars.

For the second time he felt material being pulled away from his face.

Given that this room was darker than the one that Eren had been in with Marco, his eyes hurt far less with the return of light. He looked up at the person standing in front of him and had another moment of panic as he stared at the distorted face from earlier.

Eren braced himself for another blow and relaxed slightly when the other person turned their back to him to speak with someone on a radio instead of hitting him.

_Okay, there isn’t much here. There’s the chair I’m sitting on and there’s another chair over there that I guess is for them if they want to sit. There’s a table with some junk on it. Looks like some papers and a box and a camera or something? Are they making a ransom video?_

Eren’s attention was quickly pulled back to the figure directly in front of him as they turned back around to face him.

“You are Eren Jaeger?” Their voice was rough and deeper than his own and since the mouth of the mask didn’t move as they spoke it gave the illusion that the speaker was elsewhere in the room.

Eren could only grunt in response with the gag in his mouth.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to try and talk with your mouth full?” They chuckled slightly at Eren’s glare as they removed the spit-soaked cloth from his mouth and put a hand to his cheek while they cooed with false concern. “Poor baby, does your mouth hurt?”

“Fuck you.” He saw the hand coming down before he got a chance to prepare himself. He tasted blood as his head snapped to the side.

“I can make this very bad for you if you don’t cooperate. Now tell me, are you Eren Jaeger?”

“Yeah.” He poked his tongue around in his cheek, worrying at the torn flesh inside of his mouth. The taste of blood overwhelmed his mouth and he could feel blood-flecked spit dripping from the corner of his mouth.

“Good boy. And you were born on March 30th?” Eren eyed the hand poised at the ready to lash out at him again.

“Yes.”

“And Grisha Jaeger is your father?”

“Yes.”

“And you were born in Shiganshina?”

“Yes.”

“Really now. Feel free to elaborate. Where were you born in Shiganshina?”

“Shiganshina City Hospital.” Eren spat out the words like poison.

“I thought you’d be more cooperative. After all, this must be old hat to you by now. You do get kidnapped an awful lot, don’t you? Have to depend on your sister to save you constantly. And now you have some new friends who I’m sure you’re hoping will be showing up some time soon.” Eren stayed silent and quietly seethed at his captor. “Unfortunately for you, I highly doubt they’re going to be finding you any time soon. We’ll be sending them an invitation shortly, don’t worry.”

Eren flinched back when they extended their hand to grab his face and force him to look up into the deeply-set eyes of their mask. He could only guess that his captor was staring at him intently; there was no way he could see their actual eyes even as they leaned down to look at his own. When he felt their grip on his chin loosen he made his move, kicking out both of his legs towards the other person’s body and aiming as best as he could for their knees. Unfortunately, he also caused the chair to tip and fall on its side. He felt the side of his face smack the ground and wondered if he was bleeding.

He looked up dazedly to see that his captor’s mask had torn in one place and they were angrily ripping it off of their face. When they turned to face him he recognized their face. _That fucker from the bar._

“Fuck you and your stupid fucking eyebrows.”

“That isn’t the way you speak to someone who has you tied to a chair.”

“Fuck. You.” His head swam as the chair was hauled upright again with no regard for his own comfort. The man’s now-visible eyes met his and he smirked at Eren’s glare.

“You know, I’d hate it if something happened to your friend.” Eren went rigid and he stared at the other man. “Oh, I have your attention now, don’t I?”

“Don’t hurt Marco.”

“Then answer my questions.”

“Yes. Whatever you want.” _Don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic._

“Where’s Grisha?”

“What?”

“Grisha. Where is he?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

“You’ve seen him recently.”

“The fuck I have.”

“Fine then, I’ll humor you. When was the last time you saw him?”

“When I was twelve and he walked out on us.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not fucking lying!” He could feel his stomach beginning to turn with fear. _Believe me. Don’t hurt Marco._

“Then where’s Grisha?”

“I don’t know!”

“Tell me the truth.”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

Eren looked up and met the inscrutable stare of the other man. It was only now in this moment of stillness that he realized that he was gasping for breath as he choked down sobs. He could feel the tears dripping from the corners of his eyes and tried to wipe his nose by rubbing it against his shoulder. When he couldn’t meet the other man’s gaze anymore he let his body slump forward and bowed his head down.

“Well it looks like I’m not going to get anything out of a crybaby like you right now.” Eren could only sniffle in response. “Let’s get you back to your room so you can cry there and not drip snot all over the place.”

 

Eren had offered so little resistance that the walk back to where he and Marco were being held was more like a stroll. He couldn’t see through the cloth but his hands were bound in front of him now. He could only slump against the wall and slide to the floor when he was pushed through the door again. Marco was moving towards him before he was even fully seated. From the look Marco was giving him he knew that he probably didn’t look his best at the moment.

“Eren, what happened?” He stared at Marco blankly for a moment before he made up his mind.

“We’re going to get out of here.”

“Eren? What do you mean?” He didn’t respond as he was already moving to stand at the window and beginning to feel around it. The window started at chest-height for him and had been spray-painted over with white so that there was still natural light but they couldn’t see outside. It was clear that at some point the window could have been pushed up to open it, but somebody had put nails into the wood to stop anyone from being able to do so. Eren withdrew his hand suddenly when he was stuck with a splinter from the wood. He turned back to Marco with a determined look on his face.

“I’m sick of being a damsel in distress and I think I have a plan for how to get out of here.”


	72. Tunnels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo... the last time we had an honest to glob Levi POV chapter was fifty-nine. Holy shit that was an age ago.
> 
> Unrelated to ALYNA in almost every way: If you're at AAC in New Hampshire this weekend my ex is there and he's a totally rad dude and you should say hi and whatever. He's cosplaying as Aikuro Mikisugi from Kill la Kill and I'm not entirely sure how much / how little clothing he's going to be wearing at any given time. If there's more than one Mikisugi wandering around his other identifying characteristics are a jawline like Chris Evans and two Zelda tattoos. He goes by jmd so I guess you could also just yell that out.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Armin had been right when he said no accurate vector data existed for the palisades. Hanji had ended up working with Armin to create an informal map using satellite images and what little formal vector data could be found. In addition to the informal maps, Hanji had also grabbed maps of the underground drain and tunnel network from Trost’s Department of Public Works. Overlaid together, they made a rough but serviceable map of the palisades that Levi was able to load onto his phone and hope that it was correct enough that he didn’t end up in a dead end with someone chasing him. They had all agreed that the underground maps were vital and a likely place to search given that they hadn’t received a signal from Eren’s phone for an extended period only to have it be followed up by a brief but weak signal over a day later.

Levi wasn’t particularly thrilled with his current situation. Given the delicacy of their search he was going to be spending however long it took to search the palisades entirely incognito; that meant no grapple gear, no protective uniform, no extra gadgets from Hanji. All he was left with was a knife, a lockpick set, his own better-than-average senses and strength, and a driving sense of guilt and concern.

_Fucking somebody should have been with him or watching him or something. We got complacent because nobody had been near him in weeks and we hadn’t heard much of anything useful either. Didn’t think they’d be so fucking bold that they’d grab him in broad daylight though or that they’d take his friend with them. We fucked up badly._

He walked down the street, trying to stay as out of sight and innocuous as possible. It was another thing that he wasn’t particularly thrilled about; he had been forced to leave his car at the outskirts of the palisades, a good mile away from the outer perimeter of the search area. He hadn’t needed much convincing though given that while his car looked perfectly normal in Trost-proper, it would stick out like a sore thumb in the palisades. He’d gone for his usual incognito clothing of a hoodie pulled up over a baseball cap which had gotten him a few odd looks where he had parked his car, but which didn’t draw a single glance once he was deep into the palisades. Anywhere else he might have looked out of place, but here it was perfectly normal; you either lived in the palisades ( _poor bastards_ ) or you went to the palisades to do your dirty business anonymously ( _fucking bastards_ ) and get out.

Levi could feel the raw dampness begin to seep into him as he walked along paved roads and informal alleyways. He tried to press down the disgust that welled up as he stepped around – but usually through – piles of trash and accumulated detritus. After spending almost an hour working his way through the search area criss-crossing between streets that weren’t even on the informal maps he decided that it was finally time to head back towards the center of the search area and find a way to get down into the network of underground tunnels. Finding a way down into the tunnels wasn’t a particularly difficult task, but it was difficult to get through one of the entrances without being noticed. He ended up choosing an access point that was somewhat concealed by a tangle of wood and wire in an alley. His lock pick set ended up being completely useless given how seized up the lock was. Given its rusted state, he tried to simply pull on it and hope that his own strength would break it.  He gave it a tug but nothing happened.

_Fucking hell. There’d better be something around here I can use as leverage to snap it. I guess I could hit it with something but if I hit the door that would be fucking loud and I’m not exactly in the mood to deal with any attention._

He rummaged around in the pile of wood next to the entrance and found a short piece of rebar thin enough that he could fit it in the gap where the padlock met the chain keeping the door closed. From there he gave the rebar a sudden pull and ripped the lock off, the chain clattering to the ground. He froze for a moment, flinching and waiting for someone to yell about the noise before remembering that not everyone had his same heightened sense of hearing. Levi let out a long breath and rubbed at his temples; the sharp sound had been painfully loud without his earplugs in but he couldn’t afford to wear them when he needed to be on full alert.

Levi gave a quick look to either side of him to make sure nobody was watching before opening the door and going through. He had expected that the entrance would be in some amount of disrepair, but he hadn’t expected it to be an almost straight drop down as soon as he stepped in the door.

At some point there had been a platform of metal grating that turned into stairs of the same material, but neglect and vandalism had resulted in the platform having mostly collapsed and the stairs having partially sheared away from the wall. He stood on the small amount of the platform that was left and calculated how badly things would end if he missed the jump to the rest of the stairs.

_I could really do with my fucking grapple gear right now._

He kept his eyes straight ahead as he made the leap from the collapsing platform to the stairs that weren’t entirely attached to the wall. His landing was far from graceful and he froze for a moment, not daring to move as the stairs let out a metallic groan and shifted slightly under him. Levi let a moment go by before he dared to move from the hunched up position that he had landed in. He moved carefully down the stairs, not wanting to risk the stairs giving out beneath him when he was still twenty feet above the floor. The sound of dripping water echoed through the stairwell, multiple sharp and rhythmic plopping sounds filled his hearing as he tried to listen for any other sounds or potential movements. There wasn’t much else to catch by way of sound beyond the dripping and his own tentative steps.

It wasn’t until Levi reached the base of the stairs that he realized that there was no way he was going back up the way he had come in. He’d been forced to jump slightly downwards to the stairs and he highly doubted the stairs would even be a stable enough structure to jump off of without them collapsing. He looked up at a grated panel far up on the wall and the dim light that was reaching where he was and sighed before pulling out a flashlight.

_I guess I’m finding a way out of here later. They say to look before you leap but I guess you’re supposed to look back too… and that really just isn’t my style, is it?_

He turned the flashlight on and investigated his surroundings. There was only one way out of the odd stairwell he was in right then and according to the map he would be walking down that one tunnel for a while before coming to a junction with two others. From there tunnels branched out and crossed one another. He paused to look at the two layers of the map, trying to find a place where things might coincide but he found nothing. Levi gave a slight growl as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and began walking with his flashlight on the dimmest setting possible, his footsteps echoed wetly and the shape of the tunnels distorted the sound to the point where he was considering putting his earplugs back in.

When he got to the juncture in the tunnels he went to one of the tunnels and knocked sharply on one of the pipes running down it. He closed his eyes and paused to listen before shaking his head and taking the other tunnel.

 _I haven’t done this in a_ long _time._

He passed through a few more small junctions until he came to one that was a four-way intersection with one tunnel heading on a very clear downward slope while the one he had come from and the other two seemed to stay relatively level. Levi paused and tried to relax. He had been moving a bit too quickly, trying to cover as much ground as possible but now it was catching up to him. Levi leaned back against one of the tunnel walls and tried to catch his breath in the cold and humid air.

 _Everything here is so fucking_ small _and I just need to get the fuck out of here. But I can’t just fucking leave. I’ve found out fuck all and I’ve been wandering around the palisades for over two hours now. We don’t know shit other than that we got a signal from Eren’s phone that wasn’t strong enough to get more than a rough area to search and it’s not exactly a fucking tiny area either. A little over one square mile of above-ground roads and alleyways and another system of underground tunnels. Easy as fucking pie to cover in one night if you’re The Hawk, right?_ Levi brought his hands up to run them through his hair, pushing his hat and hood back and grasping roughly at his own hair. His hand tightened its grip on his hat and tried to cram it into his back pocket. He continued to stand, letting his head hang forward as he looked at the ground. _This shouldn’t have happened. He’s just some dumb fucking kid who happens to be the son of some asshole they’re interested in. Just sheer bad fucking luck._

There was no warning when his arm lashed out, slamming backwards into the tunnel wall he was leaning against. He felt the thin particles of dust on him and the echoing sound of his momentary frustration lingered in his ears.

_He’s just some dumb fucking kid._

_And that’s the problem. He needed someone there to protect him and we were all caught up in our own shit and everyone – us, his friends – got complacent. If I were a real masochist I’d blame this whole fucking mess on myself. Because maybe,_ maybe, _him having done some actual self-defense lessons wouldn’t have been a bad fucking idea. But no, I let that fucking slide and everything’s shot to hell. Would be regardless. Whoever the fuck grabbed him knew what they were doing._

Levi groaned and rubbed at his face, tensing up and pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes until a supernova exploded behind them. His body suddenly went limp and he let his head hang a moment before picking up his phone and checking to see if he got any signal. He didn’t have to wait long for Hanji to pick up.

“Levi? Did you find anything?”

“I’ve been wandering around – above and below ground – for over two hours now and I’ve got fuck-all.”

“Hey now, are you okay?”

“I’ve been walking around a trash heap for two hours hoping to stumble across _something_ and I haven’t done a damn thing except get into a tunnel system and realize that I need to figure out a way to get out of here eventually.”

“What the what now?”

“The way I came in I can’t go back. Stairs are fucking partially collapsed.”

“Shit, okay look at your map. I definitely marked some places.”

“No, getting out is the easy part. I just don’t really know what the hell I’m looking for. I’ve covered probably half of the aboveground area and the tunnels and shit are a fucking nightmare. They go on for ages and then the junctions are a mess and you can’t get a sig–” Levi stopped speaking abruptly and he felt his heart speed up slightly.

“Hey, Levi are you okay?”

“Hanji, where’s the nearest cell phone tower?”

“To you?”

“To the search area. What side is it closest to?”

“Hmm… looks like there’s one that’s sort of closer to the southern part of the search area. Why?”

“I’m in the southern part of the area now. I didn’t have a signal at the other junctions northeast of here.”

“You think Eren’s close then.”

“That gives me a little bit of hope. There are only two other junctions in the southern part and they’re pretty close together.”

“That would also be a less-inhabited area of the palisades. Meth labs and shit.”

“Well hopefully we don’t take so long to get their asses the fuck back here that they have cancer.”

“Aw, you _do_ care.” Hanji inflected as much drama into their tone as they could. Normally it would have Levi at least slightly amused but right now…

“Who said I didn’t? It’s our fucking faults they’re in this mess and even if that animal Smiles isn’t around anymore we know what the Titans are capable of and they will not be kind just because they’re kids.”

“They aren’t kids.”

“I know.”

They were both silent for a moment and Levi heard Hanji exhale loudly on the other end.

“It’s after three in the morning. You need to pack it in if you don’t find anything soon. We can get Eren’s friends to help us scout out the area.”

“I’m going to check out the other two junctions. I should be back in about an hour.”

“I’ll make sure there’s a cup of tea and a tub of disinfectant ready for you when you get back.”

“Very fucking funny. You wade through trash for multiple hours and tell me you don’t want to scrub layers off your fucking skin.”

“Fair point. See you soon then?”

“Yeah, later.”

Levi didn’t wait for Hanji to say good bye before he ended the call. He stood up again, feeling mildly energized after talking with Hanji and realizing that there were only two more places that he could check before he would have to call it a night. Part of him wanted to be angry at himself for refusing to look any more after those two junctions, but he also had a gut feeling that he was going to find something there.

_We’re going to find you two fuckers and you’re both going home in one fucking piece._

 

The first “junction” ended up being a misrepresentation on the map; the “tunnels” that intersected on the map were actually just two water mains that crossed at that point. Continuing a bit more down the tunnel he found the second intersection and looked at the overlaid maps before allowing himself a small grin. He let his gaze pan across the three tunnels that diverged from that point. One of them was partially blocked and upon closer inspection it looked like part of the entrance had been pulled down by someone. Beyond the rubble he could see that the tunnel was dry and level just the same as the other two that spread out from the junction. He pulled out his phone again.

“Hanji, I’ve got some shit here. I’m not going to go any farther down these tunnels right now, I think we can figure it out from here. Maybe you and Mike come out here and rough up a couple people but I think we’re in good shape.

“Awesome! I’ll disinfect the quarantine zone for when you get back.”

This time Hanji hung up on him.

_Just don’t fucking die before we get there._


	73. Plan of Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT I CROSSED THE 100k MARK.
> 
> Anyway. Look at this fucking chapter: 3,400 words. What even. I have a proofreader now so hopefully there will be fewer spelling and grammar goofs from now on. 
> 
> Short words about my proofreader: he's actually my ex and he goes by jmd. He's not an ereri shipper but I sucked him in and hey, maybe you'll ship it at some point dude. It's cool though, we lose our shit over erejean together. It's good times.

[Time: 14:47]

“So what did you find last night?” The demand was out of Mikasa’s mouth before the door had closed behind them. She craned her neck to look around the room. “Hawk isn’t here again?”

“He didn’t get back until after four in the morning and we still had to go over his report.” Erwin gave them an apologetic smile. “He’ll be here later this afternoon.”

“We’re going to be here that long?” Sasha looked surprised.

“The information that Hawk was able to give us in addition to what we were able to piece together this morning puts us in a place where we can finally act and move forward.” A look of relief passed across Mikasa’s face, Sasha’s gaze snapped up to look at the rest of the Survey Corps and Krista elbowed Ymir to get her to look up and give her full attention to what was going on. When he had their attention, Erwin continued. “That means that we need to bring you up to speed and go over plans.”

“So we don’t get any input on how things are going to go down?” Krista was watching the three of them intently.

“I think you’ll agree with our plan, but you’re welcome to voice any objections or suggestions.”

“Well then.” Mikasa adjusted her scarf, “bring us up to speed.”

“Okay, so Hawk covered a lot of ground last night. A lot of it wasn’t even on the informal maps that I made with Armin.” Hanji moved over to a large map that had been pinned to the wall. “Hawk didn’t find much of anything above ground when he was there, but he ended up stumbling onto something a bit interesting. The GPS signal emitted by Eren’s phone was nonexistent and then we got a faint blip the other day. We think it’s because of where he was being kept – probably underground – and that as they were moving them they must have hit an area where Eren’s phone was able to briefly catch a signal. Hawk said that he started in the more northern area of the tunnels and worked his way south. He didn’t catch a signal at any of the junctions or access points until he got to the southern area. We looked into it and discovered that there’s a cell tower near the southern area. That’s probably why you can actually get reception at some of the junctions and access points.”

“Okay, so we think that Eren and Marco are being kept somewhere in the southern region of our search area. Why wouldn’t we have a signal before then? They had to drive through the city to get there and Mikasa said that Armin lost Eren’s phone signal almost immediately.” Sasha was chewing at her thumb and looking down. “I just don’t get it. They didn’t go underground right there so what happened? Why did the signal drop off until yesterday? Am I the only person here who thinks that’s really suspicious?”

“When Nifa spoke with Dr. Scientist the other day, she told us that she was able to get assigned to the team that was processing the van. Apparently the entire interior of the van was lined with some sort of heavy potentially lead-based paint. It could easily weaken or block the signal.” Erwin waited until Sasha looked up at him and nodded before he continued. “Given that, we think that Eren and Marco were kept in the van for an extended period and then moved directly underground in the palisades. A lot of the older factory and warehouse buildings there have underground loading docks. The new search area that we ended up defining has a number of them and we will be able to narrow it down even further when we look at how many of those buildings sit over the existing tunnel network. If the kidnappers were transporting them from one location to another via the tunnels there are only a couple of places that they could have passed through where Eren’s phone would have happened to catch a signal for a fraction of a second.”

“You know where they are?” Ymir’s eyes darted between the three members of the Survey Corps.

“We’ve narrowed it down considerably.”

“Are we going to just sit here then? Or are you going to tell us?” Mikasa’s tone was sharp. She pulled her scarf up further over her face, glaring over the top of it.

“Nose made us some very late lunch. Hawk should be here by the time we’re done eating.” Hanji’s voice was upbeat and they met Mikasa’s glare with a smile.

“And why are we waiting for _him_?”

“Because it’s easier to go over it once with everyone so that we’re all on the same page.” Erwin’s face was impassive.

“Isn’t he on your team? Shouldn’t he know all of this already?”

“He’s been asleep while we’ve made the final adjustments to the plan. He shouldn’t be much longer.”

Their meal was an awkward affair. The current level of tension was something that the Survey Corps was very familiar with and they each had their own way of handling things; Hanji would go on about their research and everyone would half-listen, Mike would lean back and observe, Erwin would withdraw into his own mind to plan another six steps ahead, Levi would glare at a cup of tea and occasionally make an off-color joke apropos of nothing. It wasn’t a mindset or a situation or a mood which Mikasa, Sasha, Krista and Ymir were familiar with and so the entire atmosphere weighed down on them. When Hanji finally fell silent the weight became tension and it wound tighter and tighter as time passed. When there was finally the rattle of the door handle they all flinched.

The door opened to reveal Levi giving them all a bland (and tired) look.

“Ah, Hawk you’re early.” Erwin gave him a faint smile.

“Couldn’t fucking sleep. My neighbor left her damn television on full volume and left. Or she can sleep through that racket in which case she can go fuck herself because I’m exhausted.” Noticing the somewhat horrified looks on Sasha and Mikasa’s faces, Hanji jumped in.

“Nothing a little caffeine can’t fix though!”

“Yeah. Another cup or two of tea and I’ll be fine.” The skeptical look on Mikasa’s face indicated her disbelief, but she didn’t voice her doubts as Levi walked towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

“Is he really going to be okay?” Mikasa was looking somewhat nervously at Hanji.

“He doesn’t sleep much. You’re just seeing an uncaffeinated Hawk right now.” When Hanji walked away to grab something from the table Mikasa still looked doubtful. They settled back at the table and continued to pick at food until Levi had finished his first cup of tea.

 

[Time: 16:03]

“Alright, now that everybody is here and caffeinated…” Erwin nodded towards Levi who simply rolled his eyes and stared down into his third cup of tea as Erwin continued. “I’m going to go over our plans for tonight. As I said earlier, if you have any objections or suggestions feel free to voice them, but we may not incorporate them.”

“Which is your way of telling us to piss off.” Ymir was giving him an annoyed look.

“Shut it and fucking listen first.” Levi’s tone had her looking slightly taken aback.

“As I was saying. Hawk was able to gather information that allowed the rest of us to take the day to chase down as much as possible. From that we’ve formulated a plan that we believe will cover all of our bases.” Erwin paused and waited until he was certain that he had everyone’s attention. “Hawk found a four-way junction in the tunnels. Three of those tunnels head off to different areas within the southern part of our search area in the palisades. Narrowing it down to the buildings that have access to those tunnels was somewhat more difficult, but Nose was able to cover a great deal of the area after it was narrowed down. Unfortunately, we were not able to pinpoint a single location. We _could_ leave it until we know exactly where to go, but given that we received that signal roughly twenty-four hours ago I don’t think it’s a particularly good idea to delay things any longer.”

“How big is the search area now?” Sasha was looking intently at Erwin’s face, looking for a sign.

“Three buildings.”

“That’s it?” Mikasa’s voice was surprised and she stared at the four of them. “Only three… but there’s a catch, isn’t there?”

“They are each off of a separate one of those tunnels. If we have any hope of rescuing Eren and Marco we’ll need to split up and hit all three locations at roughly the same time.”

“That leaves us spread pretty thin, doesn’t it?” Krista sounded skeptical and Ymir frowned at her before turning to speak.

“How are we splitting up then?” Ymir’s tone was sharp.

“I’m not sure whether or not you’re going to be happy about this…” Hanji trailed off before sighing and continuing. “Hawk and I are going directly to one of the locations. There’s a closer access point on the other end of the tunnel. Commander and Nose will take one of the tunnels off of the junction and the four of you will take the other.”

“WHAT?!” Everyone flinched as Mikasa yelled and stood up. “So you go in pairs and all four of us go together? What the hell? We need four people but you get to pair off? Do you think we’re incompetent?”

“Nobody said that.” Hanji kept their voice gentle. “The four of you are used to working together and you only recently got cleared to resume hero work. And no offense to Hunter, but regardless of how skilled she is with a bow it _is_ difficult to use one in a space as small as these tunnels. As is, we’re spreading ourselves thin so that you don’t have to. All of these locations are equally likely to have both Eren and Marco there and…”

“You’re young and you have a lot to live for.” Mike’s voice was quiet, but the silence the followed was deafening.

 

[Time: 23:19]

“Your friends are waiting outside of the palisades, correct?” Mike was going over a check list while he drove.

“Yes.” Mikasa’s answer was immediate.

“And they will be ready to move immediately after one of our groups contacts them? Yes?”

“Connie and Jean want to get Eren and Marco back just as much as the rest of us.”

“Good.” There was an awkward pause after Mike finished.

“So where is everyone else?” Krista’s brow was furrowed slightly in confusion. “I know that we’re short on seats but how is everyone getting into position?”

“Well, Commander can fly… And as we mentioned, the building that Dr. Scientist and Hawk are taking is more accessible via an entrance on the other end of the tunnel. We won’t be seeing them again until this whole thing is over. They’re waiting for our say-so before they head into the tunnels themselves.”

“So were meeting Commander and then splitting up from there?” Sasha met Mike’s eyes in the rearview mirror, waiting for his confirmation.

“Yes, Commander will help Red Scarf clear the debris from the entrance of your tunnel and then we’ll split off from there.”

They fell into silence for the remainder of the drive. Hanji had been able to get a hold of an old and beat up car that they were then able to perform a few quick modifications to on short notice rather than use another vehicle that would stand out in the palisades. Mike eventually parked at the end of a side alley and got out, motioning for the four of them to follow his lead. They didn’t have far to walk before Erwin came into view. He didn’t bother with social niceties and began speaking immediately.

“Your friends are in position?”

 _“Yes.”_ Mikasa’s tone was exasperated. Mike hid a tiny smile behind his hand.

“I’m glad that they agreed to be a part of our extraction team. Normally we would simply have Moblit or Nifa, but there are far too many of us involved in this mission.”

“I think they were glad that they could help in some way.” Erwin nodded at Mikasa and gestured towards a hatch in the ground.

“This is an entrance to the tunnel network. Once we’re in, it’s only about twenty feet to the junction that Levi was at last night. We’re going to be dropping into the exact tunnel that he came through. Once we get to the junction there will be four tunnels. One of those is the one that Levi came through and the one that we’ll be entering through. Another is the tunnel that Dr. Scientist and Hawk will be entering further into the system and the final two are the ones that our two teams we will be taking.” Erwin opened the hatch and motioned for everyone to go down the ladder that was now revealed. He waited for everyone to go ahead of him before he followed. When they were all standing at the base of the ladder they began to walk the short distance to the junction. Arriving there, Erwin began to speak again. “The one to our right is the one that you four will be taking. We believe that there’s a chance that the kidnappers are the ones who pulled down all of the stone around the entrance in an effort to block it. Mikasa, I think it will be fastest if we both do this?”

Mikasa gave him a curt nod before she stepped forward to help Erwin clear away the debris blocking the entrance to the tunnel. Together they were able to clear it of the large chunks of stone and concrete in fifteen minutes. When they finished Erwin gave Mikasa a brief smile which she returned before Mike stepped forward holding two radios.

“We’ve already set these to the same frequency. We’ll turn it on and test it out to make sure we’re all set.” He flipped both of the radios on and handed one over to Sasha and the other to Erwin.

“This is Commander. Come in.” His voice came out of the radio that Sasha was holding and was followed shortly by Hanji’s voice emanating from both radios.

“Short ‘n Sweet copies!” Levi’s ‘fuck off’ was audible in the background. “Does the 104th copy? Over.”

“104th?” Sasha was giving the radio a puzzled look. “Um… the 104th copies, over.”

“Reading you five! Short ‘n Sweet, out!”

“104th?” Sasha turned to Erwin and Mike in confusion.

“All of you live around 104th St.” Mike gave the four of them a somewhat apologetic look. “Dr. Scientist decided to give you a shorthand name so they didn’t have to list off all of your names individually. Sorry.”

“You know, I kinda like it.” Krista had a thoughtful look on her face and Mikasa, Sasha and Ymir nodded silently in agreement. “We aren’t the team the way that the four of you are, but we work together and we cover for each other.”

Sasha picked up the radio again.

“The 104th reads Short ‘n Sweet loud and clear. Over.”

“Short ‘n Sweet copies! Out!” A staticky click followed Hanji’s words, but another voice came from the radio almost immediately.

“We are _not_ fucking Short ‘n Sweet. Out.”

Sasha was stuffing her fist into her mouth trying to muffle the sound of her giggling but quickly became serious again after a moment. Erwin had a mildly exasperated expression on his face when he looked back at them.

“Don’t worry, they’re taking this perfectly seriously. It’s just Dr. Scientist trying to keep the mood light. Now then, I believe we mentioned earlier that there is no signal in the tunnels proper. You won’t be able to contact any of us until you surface at your location.” He paused and waited for them to signal that they understood. “And you remember the plan?”

“In and out as fast as possible. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary. Focus on getting Eren and Marco out, not on getting revenge.” Mikasa’s tone was robotic as she repeated Erwin’s instructions from earlier in the day. Erwin gave her a short nod before holding his radio up again.

“This is Commander. Operation Retrieval is a go. Over.”

“The 104th copies. Out.”

“Short ‘n Sweet copies. Out.”

As soon as radios were stowed, everyone went into motion. Ymir began to stretch with her back elongating and bowing down while her limbs stretched and razor-sharp claws began to extend from her fingertips. When her transformation was complete her face was truly unrecognizable; a mouth of fangs twisted into a snarl. Sasha nocked an arrow on her bow and held it to her side at the ready while Mikasa pulled her scarf up further. Krista straightened her tiara with her free hand as she tightened her grip on her scepter. Their faces were grim as they turned to look at Mike and Erwin.

The six of them nodded at each other before doing an about face and going in opposite directions, flashlight beams bouncing along tunnel walls.

 

[Time: 23:39]

Erwin and Mike were only fifty yards down the tunnel when they came to a metal ladder leading upwards. Erwin mounted it and began the short climb to the top. As he pushed aside the grating he was met by the faces of Hanji, Levi and Nanaba.

 

[Time: 04:36]

It was almost dawn when Levi got back from the palisades looking like hell and smelling like death. He didn’t bother to try and stop the door from slamming behind him, causing the other three members of the Survey Corps and Nanaba to sit up sharply at the noise.

“Wow. You didn’t even take your shoes off before coming in here?” Nanaba’s eyes widened slightly.

“Cut the shit. We have three possible locations and we can’t spread ourselves that thin.”

“Mike and I are going to do a quick drive through the palisades. See what we can find. Hanji overlaid some satellite images on the areas we’ve narrowed it down to so we’re going to check those out.” Nanaba looked over at Erwin. “You’re really going to talk to your MP contacts? If you let too much drop then we might have some unpleasant company.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have it under control.”

“Now then, we’ve been able to eliminate the partially collapsed tunnel already. It leads out to a building that was demolished and cleared away recently. We’ve all agreed…” Hanji paused and their eyes flicked between the rest of the group. “We’ve all agreed that we’re going to send the 104th that way.”

The four of them were looking somewhat tensely at Levi as he stood in the middle of the room. He was looking down slightly and his arms were crossed around his chest. His arms pulled imperceptibly tighter around his body before he lifted up his head to look at them.

“Do you expect me to disagree?”

 

[Time: 23:43]

Nanaba stuck out a hand to help pull Erwin up and Mike followed just far enough the upper half of his body was above ground while his lower half remained hidden.

“Did everything go alright?” Nanaba searched Erwin’s face for confirmation.

“Yes, I helped them to clear the debris. They’re on their way now. The worst that they should run into is a few rats.”

“When they figure it out they’re going to be pissed.” Levi gave all of them a pointed look.

“And they’ll also be alive and unharmed.” Nanaba fixed Levi with an intense glare.

“I never said I disagreed.”

“Alright.” Erwin spoke up slightly to get their attention. “Nanaba is going to join Mike in the tunnels. Hanji and I will continue on the streets on foot and Levi will follow on the rooftops. Mike and Nanaba, I want every inch of the basement and sub-basement searched. Hanji and I will work from the first floor to the second and Levi will work his way down from the fourth to the third. Whoever finds Eren and Marco first withdraws _immediately_ and radios Moblit for an extraction. Everyone else continues according to plan. We _need to find that lab_.”


	74. Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was delayed because first I hurt my wrist and couldn't really type and then as it got better I got awful writer's block. I'd also like to note that this fic started out as an excuse to write kinky superhero smut and now it's _this._
> 
>  **Before you start off: There is blood in this chapter and not tiny amounts either. You will also find needles, violence, and some of the same psychological shit as the previous Eren POV chapter.** If you're looking at those warnings and you're going "fuck no, I cannot read this" I've made a [chapter summary post on Tumblr](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/post/101633783739/alyna-ch-74-summary) with just the plot-relevant events. Do people want me to continue to do this for future chapters that are more graphic?
> 
> And yes, I did look up the actual effects of [sodium thiopental aka sodium pentothol aka truth serum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_thiopental). Vouch for me when the FBI comes to arrest me because I've been Googling shit about sodium thiopental, chloroform, rohypnol and side effects of blood loss by volume. I'm not a criminal, just a humble fic writer.

“You want to  _what?_ ”

“Escape. Out the window.”

“Eren, it’s nailed shut.”

“I have an idea. We need to pull out one of the nails –” Marco opened his mouth to object but Eren cut him off. “No, wait and just listen. We can use the nail to shatter the glass. We won’t even need that much force.”

“You want to pull one of the nails out?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re hammered into the frame pretty well.”

“The wood is pretty old-looking. It’s probably going to start splintering away pretty quickly.”

“ _Eren._  Listen to yourself. You want to try pulling a nail out of splintering wood with your  _fingers_. We don’t even know how high up the window is. You weren’t conscious when we came in but we were in an elevator for a  _while_  before we got here. We could be on the fifth floor for all we know.”

“Well we won’t know unless we try.” Eren gave Marco a furious look before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. He then continued, speaking at a lower volume. “Please, Marco?  _Please?_ ”

“The Survey Corps and our friends are probably on the way right now… they’ll be here soon.”

“Marco, we don’t know how long we’ve been here beyond that it’s been more than a day. I don’t doubt that they’re coming to get us but we’ve been drugged multiple times and I just got knocked around by some fucker in a mask. I would really like it if just for once I was able to save myself, _especially_  since someone else got dragged into this because of me.”

“It’s not your fault.” Marco’s attempt at reassuring him didn’t help.

“I know it’s not my fucking fault but it still happened and you’re here because you were with me.”

“Okay, but what if we  _are_  on the fifth floor?”

“We’ll figure something out. You can’t win unless you fight for it. If we don’t even try we’ve already lost.”

“Alright. Just... let’s try not to get splinters in our fingers?”

Eren nodded and got closer to the window to inspect the sill further. He ran his hands across the frame carefully to avoid the splinters that they were almost certainly going to get trying to pull a nail out. The wood was old and splintering around each nail. Eren moved closer to inspect each to see if there was one that might be easier to remove than the others.

They worked on the nail in shifts, trying their best to avoid getting splinters. They inevitably got a few but most were easily removed. There was no avoiding eating or drinking and so when the light outside of the painted-over window began to dim and food was shoved unceremoniously through the door they accepted that they wouldn’t be conscious again until morning.

 

This time Eren was completely unsurprised when he felt something tighten around his wrists while a hood was pulled over his head as soon as he was pulled outside of the room. He could only assume that he was being lead back to the same room as before. He felt trepidation as he continued to move forward; he had no desire to deal with his captors’ particular definition of “questioning.” This time the hood wasn’t pulled off of his head after he was tied to the chair and as the minutes pressed onward he could feel his own fear beginning to spike.  _It’s okay, it’s okay. Maybe I’ll get roughed up again, but they want information from me, they don’t want me dead. That’s a good thing, right? And Marco, maybe Marco will have the nail free when I’m back and we can get the fuck out of here. We’re going to get out of here. I just need to get out of here. Whatever these freaks want._

Eren was just starting to conclude that they weren’t planning on removing the hood when he heard someone moving next to him. He closed his eyes in preparation for the painful change in light, but he felt a sharp pain in his arm instead.

_Fuck. That was a needle. Definitely not a good thing._

A moment later he found himself gagging as the overwhelming taste of garlic filled his mouth. From somewhere in front of him he heard what might have been a muffled snort of laughter. He gagged again as the taste increased in its intensity and thenfinally began to dissipate. As the intense taste fully receded from his mouth Eren began to relax; there was no longer an inexplicable and noxious taste in his mouth. He shifted around a bit and realized that the hood wasn’t really as scratchy as he had thought and as he pulled at the restraints on his limbs he found that they weren’t as painfully tight as he had thought earlier. There wasn’t really any pain even when he yanked sharply with his arm. He heard that same muffled laugh again but couldn’t find it in himself to care. When the hood was yanked roughly off of his head it all came together.

_Shit. I’ve been drugged._

Eren braced himself for the sudden adrenaline spike of that realization but found himself fading back into a mental fog. He was there and yet he wasn’t, everything that happened seemed like it was happening to someone else – like he was watching from somewhere a few feet away. He felt no physical reaction as a slightly blurry figure stepped forward into his space, only a vague sense that nothing good would come of their proximity. He  _did_  feel his heart stutter when the person in front of him grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him upwards to look at them. Terrifyingly large eyes and a toothy grin were looking down at him and he barely had the energy to attempt to twist away and slump to the side. Eren was able to identify the source of laughter this time; judging from the mask it was the same person who had “questioned” him previously. He expected the rage to come but it never did, he simply floated along. Eren only became aware that he was staring down at the floor with unfocused eyes when he was backhanded by the person in front of him.

“Now then. We would like it if you would pretty please answer some questions for us.” The voice was vaguely feminine and filled with false apology. “I know it seems silly, but can you tell us your name?”

“Eren Jaeger. I was born in Shiganshina but I live in Trost now.”

“And what are you doing here? A little far from Shiganshina, aren’t we?” He tried to be angry at the fake tone they were using, but he just couldn’t engage the emotion.

“I’m studying marine biology at Trost University. I live here with my sist –” Somewhere Eren found it in himself to bite the inside of his cheek before continuing further.  _Why am I telling them all of this? I want to cooperate for Marco’s sake but this… all of this extra stuff… they didn’t even ask._

“Your sister is Red Scarf, yes? Don’t be shy, we’ve been looking into you. Don’t you want to tell us about your friends? You know a lot of heroes, don’t you? What about your  _new_  hero friends? Care to tell us about the Survey Corps? You’ve gotten  _very_  cozy with them.”

Eren was starting to be able to feel pain again from clenching his teeth so hard.  _I’m not going to… not gonna say anything. Not saying anything._  He felt like his whole body was trying (but unable) to tense up to keep anything from slipping out. He was certain that at any moment the torrent of words would start spilling out; his friends’ names, the Survey Corps’ names; anything they wanted. It was almost a blessing when he was backhanded again. He felt the almost-there edge of pain, but it was the fuzzy disorientation of what he had been drugged with combined with the sudden snap of his face to the side that caused him to lose anything that he had been focusing on. He could only stare dazedly to the side until his questioner grabbed his chin to turn him back to face them.  _I hope I’m not fucking drooling._

“You gave him too much.” They let go of his chin and his head immediately dropped down so that he was staring at his lap.

“I told you without his exact weight I could only guess at a dosage. Leave him for a bit and let it start to wear off, it’s not like he’s going anywhere.” Their unkind laughter rang in his ears and when he brought himself to look up he saw the backs of three people and the door shutting behind them. In spite of what he had been drugged with he felt his mind suddenly focus in on that narrowing strip of light, felt the adrenaline spike and the fear of being left tied up alone in a room. He knew even as it left his mouth that whatever he was yelling was unintelligible and slurred but he couldn’t stop.

“Shut the fuck up.” Even though the voice came from one of his masked captors he felt his fear recede slightly.

The other person kept their back to him, fiddling with something that Eren couldn’t see. Even if they didn’t want to interact with him at all Eren was relieved that somebody else was in the room with him; that he wasn’t being left completely alone. He noticed that whatever it he had been given was starting to wear off when he moved his wrist and discovered that he had rubbed one area raw earlier while he couldn’t feel it as anything more than discomfort. The other person in the room noticed his increased motion and he heard a muffled conversation over a radio clearly indicating that they should return. As he watched the others start to file back in through the door he wondered just how long he had been there. _Is Marco okay? There’s no way that he knows anything about what’s going on with me… I hope he isn’t too worried. He really doesn’t need to be worried because… because clearly they need me and they don’t need hi– No. We’re not going there. He’s going to be fucking fine and we’re getting the hell out of here._

“Look who’s nice and awake now.”

“What the hell do you want from me?” He could immediately tell by the stutter in their movements that he had said something wrong.

“Maybe a little too awake.” _No. Fuck no._ He felt the jab in his arm before he had enough time to consider what he wanted to vocalize. It didn’t take long for things to start going fuzzy again, but unlike the previous time he simply felt relaxed. He didn’t even bother to fight it this time; it was chemical and there was no getting around his body’s reaction.

“Now that we’re calm and not drooling on ourselves, how about we have a chat?” The fake sweet voice was back and they crouched so that they were at eye-level with him, even if he couldn’t see their eyes. Eren felt their fingers come to trap his chin so that he was forced to continue to look into their horrifyingly large eyes. He tried to jerk his head back but their grasp on his chin went from tight to painful as soon as he tried. “What have you told the Survey Corps about us?”

“So I guess you’re part of the Titans then...” Eren paused for a moment and tried halfheartedly to pull back, but they kept their grip on his chin. “They rescued me from a bunch of your friends who kidnapped me except they didn’t know that I was there just that there was some big shot guy who was supposed to be showing up but they said that it was probably bullshit but they rescued me which was cool. Oh and… and Smiles died.”

“Yeah. Shorty killed her, we know.”

“It was an accident!”

“Like I give a shit. She died, I moved up. What else did you tell them?”

“That’s… all I know. About anything.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t fucking know anything okay?” His own fear and adrenaline and the effects of the drug were creating an odd mix of emotional responses. He felt panic in spite of his relaxed state. Fear being buried in a box of cotton.

“You’ve told them more.”

“There’s literally nothing else for me to tell them.” Eren jerked his head to the side and this time they let him, releasing their grip on his chin and allowing him to move his head freely.

“But you know more.”

“I already told you I don’t know anything else.”

“Your father…”

“I haven’t seen him since I was _twelve_. Why does everyone act like I must have seen him yesterday?”

“And the Survey Corps too?”

“Yeah, they won’t shut up about asking about Grisha. You won’t, they won’t. I don’t give a shit. He walked out on us but I guess there was the time when I was four and he bought that tricycle.” _Great, more word vomit._

“Fine. I’ll be a little more specific. Where’s the key, Eren?”

“The key?” Eren blinked slowly in confusion. “Like to my apartment?”

“The key. Your father’s key. Where is it? You have it.”

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about!”

“He gave it to you, now where the hell is it? I don’t _want_ to do anything to your friend. It’s not like he’s-”

“Leave Marco alone!” Eren could feel the panic spiking past whatever he had been given as his eyes darted around the room.

“Look, it’s not like he’s here for any reason besides the fact that he was with you, so how about you think of your friend and just tell us what we want to know.”

“I don’t know anything! I swear!” He tried to lean back as his questioner reached out their hand again to touch his face. He could feel their unseen eyes staring at him and felt like he was going to be sick from the now-gentle touch on his face. When his breathing became erratic and nausea began to claw at his stomach he finally tried to pull away from their hand again. This time they let him move, but it was a brief victory. As he sat there and tried to regain control of his body he felt himself trembling; his moment of reprieve only lasted a brief moment as a fist collided with his face.

“You refuse to tell us anything?”

“I don’t  _know_  anything. I don’t know what you want from me.” Eren’s voice was soft as the drug in his system tried to drag him back into calm.

“Oh no, you know something.” Their voice was light but it hardened as they spoke again. “What did you tell the Survey Corps?”

“I already told you!”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying!”

“You told them about Cronus.”

“I remembered a name! That’s all, I swear!”

“Would you swear it on your friend’s life?” They leaned back slightly as Eren gaped at them.

“Please don’t… that’s all… that’s it.”

“And the key?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Looks like you’re far less useful than we thought you’d be.” His questioner turned away and gestured to the others in the room. “You know what to do.”

“Wait! What about Marco?!”

Eren didn’t receive an answer as they left the room. The three remaining masked figures began to move closer to him and he tried to fight against the chemicals telling his body to relax, determined to try and fight back once they released his restraints if he got the opportunity. Instead of unbinding him, three sets of hands grabbed at his shoulders and upper arms, pinning him even more closely to the chair. Eren attempted to struggle against their grips for a moment before realizing he was hopelessly outmatched in his present condition. He fought down an unknown fear welling up in his gut as a fourth figure came in through the door carrying a tray. It wasn’t until they were placing the tray on a nearby table that Eren was able to recognize the contents; a butterfly needle, some tubing, and empty blood bags.

 _Shit. Fuck no. I am not getting bled out like a pig by a bunch of sick mask-wearing freaks. Holy fucking shit no._ He began to struggle against his captors again, the rush of adrenaline pushing back the fuzziness of whatever he had been drugged with. Even as he tried to move he kept his eyes on the other figure and watched them put down the butterfly needle, only to pick up something else he couldn’t see. As they walked closer to him he struggled even harder and felt the bruises forming on his body underneath his captors’ grips. There was an intensely painful jab  ~~~~as a needle was carelessly shoved into his arm;his struggling slowly decreased until he could barely move his own body as the familiar soporific feeling took over. He was only vaguely aware at the pinch at the crook of his arm as the butterfly needle was inserted but in his present state he swore that he could feel each milliliter of blood draining out of his body and listened in horror to the pulse in his ears. His breathing became shallow and erratic as the panic rose higher and higher with each additional moment his blood continued to flow out.

Eren attempted a half-hearted struggle after the needle was removed and his restraints were being undone but he could barely stand up straight, let alone fight back. The hood was pulled over his head again and he felt himself getting tossed over one of his captor’s shoulders. They hadn’t bothered to tie his hands and he attempted to punch the back of the one carrying him; he only realized just how weak his blows must be when the person carrying him laughed derisively and hiked him up further onto their shoulder.

The journey back to the room where he and Marco were being kept took hours and seconds in his mind and he wasn’t aware that they had returned until he was being dropped to the floor and having the hood pulled from his face. He blinked slowly to clear his eyes and stared up at Marco’s worried and horrified face.

“I’m sorry, Eren. I’m so sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I couldn’t work on the nail.” Marco kept his voice low. “They had someone in here with me the whole time you were gone.”

“Shit. Are you fucking… they seriously…?” Eren scrubbed at his eyes with his hands as he groaned. “It’s okay, we can work on it now. We  _need_  to escape as quickly as possible though. They said I’m not useful anymore and… I don’t think they’re going to just drop us off at home.”

He watched Marco’s face go ashen before he started shaking. Neither of them moved as the full weight of their changed situation began to weigh down on them. When they heard someone unlocking the door they both went wide-eyed and could only stare at each other in that split moment before the door opened. Eren watched as Marco was grabbed and he could barely stand up to try and yell, never mind fighting back. As the door slammed closed again Eren was left alone and numb. He collapsed back to the ground and was unaware of how much time hand passed when his fury finally bubbled up past the drug-induced haze and he lashed out to punch the wall. The unbearable pain never came as he stared at his bloodied knuckles.

 _That’s right. I can’t really feel pain right now._  Eren looked up slowly at the window and then down at his hands.  _I can’t feel pain._

Eren stood up and used a hand to steady himself on the wall as he walked forward towards the window. He didn’t even give it a second thought as he began to yank at the nail, splinters and the jagged metal of the other nails ripping at his hands.

_I’m getting out of here and I’m getting Marco._


	75. Acquired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! They're getting Eren back... unlike in the manga. Hopefully next (manga) chapter we get some Badass Eren Ain't Takin' Your Shit Anymore with a solid helping of Ackerman Ass Whoopin'
> 
> So I save my ALYNA docs both on my OneDrive so that if my computer kicks it (I swear it's going to be any day now) I don't everything. This means that I've been breaking it up into chunks so that it can upload faster when I save changes and this chapter marks me needing to start a third ALYNA doc since I do them in 25 chapter chunks. How freaking crazy is that?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

Thus far they had only run into a couple of rats. The first one had spooked the four of them given the tense atmosphere; after that they barely reacted. They had decided that Ymir should be the one to lead given her appearance and – if necessary – her razor-sharp claws. Mikasa had taken up the rear and Sasha and Krista walked abreast between the other two. They kept silent as they moved; rats weren’t the only things in the tunnels.

“I think we’re getting close.” Krista’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Dr. Scientist said that it shouldn’t take much longer than twenty minutes and we’re coming up on that now.”

“Well, everyone keep their eyes peeled for some sort of entrance.” Mikasa’s voice was authoritative and more forceful than Krista’s had been and there was a faint echo of it within the tunnel. The four of them walked a bit faster, eager to leave the tunnels and to rescue their friends. It took only another few minutes before they were standing outside of a large metal door.

“It looks pretty rusty **.** We should be care –” Sasha’s words were cut off by Mikasa grabbing the door and wrenching it open, the hinges groaning loudly.

“Good going there. I don’t think anybody heard that.” Ymir’s voice was sarcastic and Mikasa leveled a glare at her.

Sasha aimed the flashlight upwards, illuminating a dusty and rubble-covered concrete stairway. As they steadily made their way up the stairs they had to clear planks of wood and step around piles of broken bricks and chunks of concrete. They stopped at the landing at the top where there was another heavy metal door. This one looked like it would fall off with just a light push given that the hinges were barely holding. This time, Krista moved to open it but Ymir caught her wrist and stopped her.

“What’s wrong?”

“It smells like explosives.”

“Great. Not that I don’t want to find Eren and Marco **,** but if those lunatics have a ton of explosives then I really wish the Survey Corps found them.” Sasha set her jaw and took a deep breath before turning towards Ymir. “Can you tell how big of a collection they have?”

“It smells more like…” Ymir paused for a moment. “It smells like a lot of explosives have _already_ been used.”

“We aren’t going to just sit here and guess about things. Now come on.” Mikasa barely pushed on the door before it was falling outwards.

The four of them stared in shock at the open pit that they had just walked into, clearly the footprint of a demolished building. Most of the building’s remains had been cleared away, but there were still substantial piles of rubble. The four of them moved further out into the pit, staring around at the empty space.

“This didn’t happen in the last twenty-four hours.”

“No shit.” Mikasa snapped at Krista and turned to walk away **.**

“That is no fucking way to talk to Krista.” Ymir stepped in Mikasa’s path and blocked her, glaring at her furiously.

“Hey guys, look we’re all pretty pissed off okay?”

“Shut the hell up **,** Sasha.”

“We get it. Your brother is missing _and so is Marco._ They are _both_ our friends **,** so how about the two of you calm the fuck down and we can figure out what to do next.” Sasha’s eyes flicked between Ymir and Mikasa, hoping that they would back down before she and Krista would need to get involved.

Ymir put her hands up in a gesture of truce before backing off a few steps. Mikasa continued to scowl and turned suddenly to the side, slamming her fist into a piece of concrete. They all watched as the human-sized chunk of concrete fractured into pieces.

_____________________

Levi was grateful that the majority of the fourth floor was being used as a storage space, the stacked crates offering ample cover as he moved around, allowing him to avoid anyone he came across. As much of a bonus as the extra cover was, it was also a severe detriment to being able to search the floor thoroughly or find a set of stairs to the third floor. He ended up winding through some areas of the maze of crates more than once before finally finding an exit.

When he finally found the stairs (and an elevator) there was someone already standing thereleaning up against a stack of crates and facing away from Levi. _I could take them down pretty easily, but then I’d have to hide them somewhere and who the fuck knows how long I’m going to be in this place._ Theyshifted around and Levi was forced to duck slightly further down behind the crates. He listened to their movements and stayed still for a few minutes, hoping that they would move away. When they still hadn’t moved a few minutes later, he decided to give it up as a lost cause and try to find another way down to the third floor. As he turned to leave he realized that he recognized the crates. _These look a hell of a lot like the crates they’ve been moving around down at the docks. Guess I should probably take a closer look this time around._

Levi moved back through the maze of crates, giving them a cursory glance for any distinguishing markings or one that might be easier to open. He focused intently on the noises around him; the thrum of a ventilation system, the skittering and squeaking of rats and mice below the floorboards and the occasional cough or sneeze identifying the rough location of a Titan. When he was in a more secluded location, he started to look at the crates more thoroughly. It didn’t take much longer for him to find a couple of boxes that had their contents marked on a label and a feeling of dread slowly took hold of him as he stared at the words. He touched at his wrist briefly to activate their separate radio channel and spoke only as loudly as he dared.

“Hawk here. Found multiple crates of explosives. Quantity and class unknown. Over.”

“Squad one copies.” There was no second confirmation from Mike or Nanaba and Levi glanced at his watch. _They won’t be out of the tunnels for another five or ten minutes. I’ll repeat it then if Erwin or Hanji doesn’t call it first._

Levi continued to make his way around, looking for another set of stairs, now more anxious than ever to get everything over with and get out. Thankfully it didn’t take too much longer to find an exit that lead him down to the next floor. While he was glad to no longer be in a room that had an unknown quantity of explosives in it, he realized as he cracked the door open that there was almost no cover in the hallways **,** save some metal shelves shoved haphazardly against the walls. Levi opened the door a little wider to further inspect the area. The floors were made of old wide-cut planks that didn’t lay completely flat. _Fantastic. That’s going to be fun to try and walk on quietly._ The walls were a dingy grey-yellow that might have been dirty white or another color just faded out. Chunks of plaster from the wall had fallen and crumbled on the ground, revealing the wooden laths beneath and leaving patches of dusty white powder on the floor. _So I guess there’s pretty much no way to move undetected is there? This fucking blows._

He fully exited the stairwell, grateful that the hallways were empty at the moment and moved forward cautiously, listening for signs of other people. Behind one door Levi could hear the slight movements of someone walking around slowly and pausing periodically. _Probably someone on a patrol or some shit. I could avoid them, but it might actually be worth it to bump into someone._ Levi opened the door cautiously, checking to see where they were facing. Realizing that they were facing away from him, Levi moved quickly; the radio was out of the other person’s hand before they even had a chance to even raise it to call for help. They turned to face him, their body slack with shock and their face obscured by the warped features of a Titan mask. Levi took advantage of their unsteady posture and managed to quickly bring them to their knees and get them into a headlock.

“You have two kids. Where the fuck are they?” Levi slackened his grip slightly as they tapped frantically at his arm.

“Down the hall. Only two doors. It’s on the right. Probably three of our guys.” Their voice was raspy from Levi’s grip, but also painfully young. “Please don’t kill me.”

Levi didn’t answer and tightened his grip again until they went unconscious. He rose from the floor and was about to walk away but found himself caught there for a moment. Bending back down, Levi took the mask off of the unconscious body. _Jesusfuck. He’s even younger than the fucking kids that he helped to kidnap._ He placed the mask back down next to the body and quickly made his exit.

The hallway was still mercifully empty and Levi followed the simple instructions that he had been given. There were indeed only two doors and he took a moment to listen at the left one first. Hearing that there was nobody he chanced a quick look in; there was only dim illumination coming from the streetlights outside the boarded up windows. As his eyes scanned across the room they caught on a chair with restraints on it and he suppressed a shiver. _I am getting those two fuckers and we are getting the fuck out of here as soon as fucking possible._ Stepping backwards and letting the door close quietly behind him, Levi crouched to listen at the door across the hall.

 _“…didn’t know anything.”_ Okay, that’s one person.

 _“All of this was kind of a waste then, wasn’t it?”_ Two.

_“Not entirely.”_

_“Well he was pretty fun to knock around.”_

_“I guess if you’re into that.”_ And that’s three.

Levi leaned back from the door, debating how he wanted to handle entering the room. After a weighing his options for a moment he stood up and firmly knocked on the door.

“Jesus Christ, Jackson. You seriously forget your key again?” Levi grinned to himself as he listened to the footsteps of one person coming closer to the door. When he heard them stop he waited for the handle to begin to shift before throwing all of his weight forward into the door. The thud of it hitting the other person’s face and the quiet crunching noise of their nosebeing broken gave Levi a small amount of satisfaction. He paid them no mind as they dropped to the floor. _Okay then, only two left now._ With the both of them frozen in shock at his sudden and violent entrance, Levi was able to take one of them down almost immediately with a stun gun before the final person was able to move. That person also unfortunately seemed to be the only one who actually knew how to fight. Not in the mood to draw it out for any longer than necessary, Levi blocked a few punches before he was able to catch their wrist. Wrist in hand, he gave it a harsh snap and quickly shoved his other hand over the mouth of their mask and used his thumb under their jaw to keep their mouth closed and stop them from yelling. He held the position for a moment, their arm pulled forward as he pushed back on their face before sweeping their legs from under them and sending them crashing backwards to the floor. The dull thud of their head hitting the wooden floor hung in the room.

Levi didn’t bother to check for a pulse on any of them before making a quick search of the room. There were two other doors besides the entrance and Levi was putting his money on the heavy door with the padlock on the outside being the one he was looking for. It only took a quick search of the three groaning and hopefully-breathing bodies to find a ring of keys. Anxious as he was to grab the two kids and get the hell out, he unlocked and opened the door cautiously, uncertain as to what might be on the other side.

It was only on instinct that he managed to dodge the person that hurled themselves forward at him. As the partially-crouched form turned to pounce on him again, Levi noticed their uneasy footing and quickly had them laid out on their ass and staring up at him.

_“Eren?”_

“…Levi?” The look on Eren’s face was disoriented as he stared and blinked slowly.

“What the hell did you charge at me for?” Levi paused a moment and took a moment to study Eren. “Okay never mind, more relevant questions. One, did you really just try to shank me with a rusty nail? Two, what the fuck happened to your hands? Three, where the hell is Marco?”

“Those are all related… I think.” Eren squinted upwards but made no move to get up. “I thought you were one of those fuckers. I pulled a nail out of the window sill because Marco and I were going to shatter the glass on the window and escape. And Marco… they took him somewhere else. Definitely yesterday since it happened when it was still light out. What time is it anyway?”

“After midnight. Give me a moment.” Levi touched at his wrist and turned slightly before beginning to speak again. “Hawk here. Primary acquired, secondary is still MIA. Squad two: explosives of unknown quantity and type were found on the fourth floor. Over.”

“Squad one copies!”

“Squad two copies. We only just surfaced so we’ll be moving fast to catch up. Over.”

“How do we want to handle extraction? I only have our primary.” Levi’s brow furrowed at the silence that followed and his head jerked up as the sound of something heavy hitting the floor came from above them. “Please advise.”

“Stick to the –” Hanji cut themselves off suddenly and there was a pause. “New instructions: Get clear, then radio for extraction.”

“Wilco. Hawk out.” Levi turned back to fully face Eren.

“What about Mikasa and my friends? They aren’t involved at all?”

“Technically, yes. Actually, no.”

“And what the hell does that mean?”

“We figured out where you were being held and we sent them somewhere else.”

“They’re going to be _pissed._ ”

“And they’re all going to be _safe._ Or did you miss the part where I said there are a shit ton of explosives upstairs?”

“You said you didn’t know how much.” Eren tried to stand up and immediately stumbled and leaned against the wall for support. He tried to move again and this time Levi grabbed his arm as he fell forward, stopping him from falling face first onto the floor.

“Fine. Upstairs is jampacked with crates and I’m pretty sure more than half of them are full of explosives.”

“And your teammates don’t need to know that?” Levi helped to steady Eren as he stood up fully again, staying close in case he fell another time.

“The moment explosives are mentioned you’re on high alert. Quantity doesn’t matter. You just assume shit can go south quickly.” Eren stopped and put his hand on the wall to stabilize himself and brought the other to his mouth, his face growing paler. “Are you okay?”

“Not… not really. Nauseous and dizzy. They drugged me with something and questioned me. It’s really fuzzy.”

“Looks like you got knocked around a bit too.”

“Yeah. How bad does it look?”

“Your hands look worse. What the fuck did you do to them again?”

“Pulled a nail out of a window sill.”

“Fucking gross.” Eren’s mouth was open and he was halfway to making an angry comment when Levi grabbed Eren’s left arm and pulled it over his own shoulder. “Can you at least stand up and not fall on your ass like this?”

“Yeah.” Eren stopped leaning against the wall and stabilized his weight against Levi. “Um, yeah **,** this works.”

“Good, because I want to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible.” Levi hefted Eren’s left arm up further and hooked his right arm behind Eren’s back to further stabilize him. The two of them moved slowly past the three still-not-quite-conscious bodies as they exited into the other room.

Levi could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising as they walked into the still-empty hallway.

“There isn’t anyone here?” Eren’s turned his head slightly to face Levi, confusion evident on his face.

“Something’s not right.”

They paused; the air in the hallway was still and uneasy and eerily calm and was completely shattered when a shockwave rippled through the building. As he was thrown off-balance Eren put all of his weight onto Levi, unbalancing him as well and pulling the both of them to the ground. The dim lighting from the streetlights outside made the dust particles in the air spark and reflect, giving the hallway the illusion of being filled with lightly falling snow. The both of them stayed down for a moment longer, waiting.

“What the fuck was that?”

“An explosion. Somewhere lower.” Brief concern flitted over Levi’s face before resolving back to his usual neutral expression. “We need to leave and contact for an extraction.”

“What about everyone else? Are you serious?”

“ _Yes._ Now get up and –” Levi’s ankle buckled as he stood and he ended up mimicking Eren’s earlier action of stumbling into a wall. _“Fuck.”_

 


	76. Faulty Information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey there I'm back! Idk how many of you saw my post over on Tumblr about why I went on hiatus but the TL;DR is that I had a lot of shit going on in my life and I couldn't handle writing ALYNA. 
> 
> I'm moving out of my parents' house in literally a week so like FUCK YEAH. Given that I'm back in a good mindset I might have the next chapter up this week but with packing and moving that might not happen. Either way, this brain problem is back.

[17:56 – Six hours prior]

They had split off into two groups; the Survey Corps chatting as Hanji and Levi field stripped their grapple gear and made sure everything was in working order while the 104th went to meet with Connie and Jean and make their own preparations. With the absence of their younger allies Nanaba was able to drop by in order to work out the final details of their plan and to ensure that they wouldn’t raise any suspicion after they separated.

Nanaba was just about to leave when Erwin’s phone went off, the caller ID indicating a blocked number.

“Commander Handsome speaking.” Erwin put up his hand to indicate that everyone should remain silent. He simply listened to the person on the other end of the line, a frown growing deeper and deeper with every moment that passed until finally he hung up the phone. Silence reigned as Erwin pressed his lips to steepled fingers, frown growing deeper still as he became lost in his thoughts. A few minutes passed before Nanaba finally broke through the silence.

“What happened?”

“I just received a call from a contact with some information regarding the Titans. They’ve cobbled together some very interesting information from some contacts of their own. Apparently almost every animal that has gotten within a roughly half mile radius of the building where Eren and Marco are being kept has been disappearing. Some of them have reappeared rabid and vicious and were immediately killed, but there have been others found dead as a result of self-mutilation. Given some of the activity in the area another source of theirs believes that there’s a lab close by but while there are a great deal of meth labs in the southern palisades nothing has been coming out of that area. I believe that Hanji’s hunch might be correct; Grisha Jaeger was working on some sort of experimental serum.” A somewhat pained expression crossed Erwin’s face before he continued. “We may not have been as careful as we thought when we were hunting down leads about Cronus. They probably think Eren knows more than he actually does.”

Horrified silence followed Erwin’s words.

“We assumed that whatever the Cronus lab was working on disappeared with Grisha Jaeger and that the Titans were in the same position as us. Now it turns out that they’ve always been at least two steps ahead of us.” Mike’s expression was grim.

“I don’t want to say ‘on the bright side’ but we do gain something from this information. We know that whatever they’re working on hasn’t progressed past animal testing and that it clearly isn’t anywhere near ready for human testing yet.” Hanji paused and grimaced. “I highly doubt they want human test subjects to kill themselves.”

“I don’t think this needs saying, but the 104th absolutely cannot know about this right now.” Erwin looked around at the others around the table; there wasn’t a flicker of uncertainty or disagreement on anyone’s face.

 

[Present: 23:58]

Hanji and Erwin had made it into the building with minimal issue thanks to a man propping a door open as he went outside for a smoke. Rather than potentially raising suspicion, the both of them quietly slipped past him as he turned away to pull off his mask and light a cigarette.

There were far more people inside but given the stacks of crates and ancient machinery from the building’s days as a factory they had enough cover to move through the first floor undetected. They still moved cautiously, watching as masked figures moved crates out from the loading dock. Given the relatively open floor plan of the first floor they were able to move through with minimal need for investigation; their only delays were when they had to wait for a Titan to move out of their way.

When they finally made it to the second floor they were relieved to find it deserted but it was no longer an open floor plan. The stairs came out at the t-intersection of two hallways; each had multiple doors leading off.

“So are we splitting off?” Hanji’s voice was the first either of them had spoken since entering the building.

“That’s probably a good –” Erwin paused as their radio crackled.

“Hawk here. Found multiple crates of explosives. Quantity and class unknown. Over.”

“Squad one copies. Over.” Hanji turned to Erwin, their face serious. “I take back what I said. Shouldn’t Lady Lightning and Nose be out of the tunnels?”

“Give them another few minutes.”

They pressed onward, moving cautiously through the hallways and into rooms filled with more crates and machinery. They tried to skirt around people but it was inevitable that they would run into someone. Hanji’s quick reflexes with a stun gun and Erwin’s ability to quickly move their unconscious bodies behind crates came in handy more than once as they moved deeper into the interconnected maze of rooms. They were going through the last unexplored bit of the second floor when the radio crackled again.

“Hawk here. Primary acquired, secondary is still MIA. Squad two: explosives of unknown quantity and type were found on the fourth floor. Over.”

“Squad one copies.”

“Squad two copies. We only just surfaced so we’ll be moving fast to catch up. Over.”

“How do we want to handle extraction? I only have our primary.” There was a pause in Levi’s transmission before his voice came back now with a slight edge to it. “Please advise.”

“Stick to the –” Erwin shook his head and Hanji cut themselves off.

“Have him get Eren out of there now.”

“New instructions: Get clear then radio for extraction.”

“Wilco. Hawk out.”

“You know, Marco might also be on that floor.” Hanji frowned at Erwin.

“We’re almost done with this floor, we can head up in a moment. We absolutely need Eren clear of this as soon as possible. We can’t risk something going wrong and losing him again.” Hanji continued to frown but nodded in agreement and they continued to press forward.

It wasn’t too long before they came to a dead end; a short and narrow hallway leading only to a storage closet.

“This can’t be it.” Hanji was frowning at the interior of the closet.

“We can move along the ledge outside to get around to the next room rather than doubling back.” Erwin flinched slightly when Hanji slammed their hand against the wall. “I know it’s frustrating but we can’t alert anyone to our presence – what are you doing?”

Hanji had begun to run their hands along the corners of the closet wall, searching for something unseen in the dark, their face determined as they slowly began to tap lightly at the side walls as well.

“There’s empty space behind here. We should be near or at the corner of the building but it ends ten feet short. I’m almost certain it’s a false wall. Can you hold the flashlight above me so I can see?” Erwin nodded and took the slim flashlight off of his utility belt. With the additional light Hanji was able to more closely investigate the walls, looking for a seam or anything indicating a way into the hypothetical space behind it. “I can see a crack here. It’s too straight to just be a natural crack in the wall. I can feel it give slightly when I push on it but I can’t figure out how it moves.”

“Maybe it needs a little more force.”

“What happened to being stealthy?”

“Hawk and Eren should be clear any minute now. If that lab is behind this wall I really don’t care about stealth anymore.”

Hanji stood back as Erwin pressed on the wall. It didn’t take much more pressure than Hanji had been putting on it before it swung inwards. Only half of the lights in the room were on adding to the eerie atmosphere of the lab. Lab equipment sat quietly in the room, empty beakers and flasks sat neatly organized on work benches – a quarter inch of dust covered every surface.

“Shit. How much did you say that you trust that contact of yours?”

“They hadn’t led me wrong until now. I suppose there’s a first time for everything” Erwin sighed and rolled the tension out of his shoulders. He turned to see Hanji staring directly ahead of them in horror and followed their gaze. The blinking red numbers of a countdown burned through the gloom.

_Five._

Erwin grabbing Hanji’s arm.

_Four._

Turning away, feet moving.

_Three._

Dust swirling as they pushed a table out of the way.

_Two._

Breaking the boarded up lab window.

_One._

Fire licking heels as they jumped.

Erwin stood on the ground looking up while Hanji remained grappled to the neighboring building. Together they watched the smoke rise from where the lab had been located, the walls partially blown out and a fire beginning to rage within.

Hanji activated their radio channel.

“This is squad one. Come in.” They paused and listened to crackling empty static. “This is squad one. Does anybody copy?”


	77. Gunshot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took forever to write because it's such a large chapter in terms of its contents and also the length. There's just a lot going on here and I rewrote the end of the chapter at least twice before finally deciding to release it into the wild. Also I moved and started a new job so yeah. I've been hella busy.
> 
>  **Notes:**  
>  -Trigger warning for a brief passage with animal abuse / animal self-mutilation. I was going to write a summary but it's two paragraphs out of the whole chapter and not insanely graphic.  
> -Adding character death tag. Not for this chapter or the next, but the one after (seventy-nine)

Not having had the time to fully investigate the tunnel beforehand, Mike and Nanaba found themselves delayed three times as they were forced to move unexpected debris out of the way. They didn’t need to time their arrival perfectly with everyone else, but they did need to get there at roughly the same time; they were halfway through the tunnel and ten minutes behind schedule. They moved as quickly as possible until they finally came to the dead end of the tunnel, a metal ladder bolted to the tunnel wall. Mike shone the flashlight upwards and they could see the ladder went up roughly twenty-five feet before ending at a hatch.

“Ladies first.” Mike moved back and gestured towards the ladder.

“Well, I’m waiting. You can’t say ladies first and then not move.” Neither of them tried to stop the smiles from spreading across their faces. “No but seriously, you’re the one with the sensitive nose. You’re more likely to be able to tell if someone is right there.”

“Fair point.”

Mike began to climb the ladder and Nanaba followed, keeping a couple of rungs between them in case he had to step back down suddenly. She stayed at the midpoint of the ladder as Mike pushed the hatch up slightly to see outside. After pausing a moment to peer around outside and take a good sniff, Mike heaved the hatch open completely and gestured for Nanaba to follow. They found themselves standing in a utility room and stood back to back, directing their flashlight beams around the room. It was smaller than they anticipated and completely deserted with only pipes and electrical wiring cross the walls. Eventually both of their flashlight beams came to rest on the single door out of the room. Nanaba began to move forward but stopped when Mike called out to her softly.

“There’s nothing good on the other side of the door. We should let everyone know we were delayed.” Nanaba stood paused with her hand on the doorknob but turned back to talk to Mike.

“We probably won’t have a signal with all of the wiring and piping, but I suppose we might as well while we have a safe moment.” Nanaba continued to rest her hand lightly on the door knob as Mike pulled out the radio.

“This is squad two –” He paused and frowned. “You’re right, no signal. Hopefully we’ll get something soon.”

“Probably not until we’re out of the sub-basement. On the bright side, all of the wiring and metal pipes give me a lot of conductors to work with in case I need to save your ass.”

“You don’t save me _that_ frequently.”

“Sweetie, premonition doesn’t save you from ten guys ganging up on you. You just know that they’re going to be there.”

“That was _one time_.” They were both standing in front of the door now and Mike took a moment to inhale sharply through his nose. “There are people out there. Not too close, but we should be on the alert.”

Nanaba flexed her hands and sent a crackle of electricity along them before giving Mike a sharp nod in affirmation. They froze as the door’s hinges groaned and waited for a few moments. When nobody came their way they slipped out through the small space between the door and the frame, not wanting to open it and make any further noise. Beyond the door they quickly came up to a corner and paused again. The pair looked at each other and Mike tapped at his nose before pointing forward, indicating wordlessly that there was someone ahead. Cautiously, they edged out around the corner. As soon as their target was in sight, Nanaba sent a bolt of electricity arcing out. Mike was there to catch the body before it could even hit the floor.

“Are they alright?” Nanaba kept her voice at a hush. “I know I put too much into that. I thought they were farther away.”

“Her pulse is a bit faster than I think is normal, but definitely within an acceptable range.” Mike gently laid her body down and Nanaba let out a tight breath as her shoulders slumped.

“I hope things open up down here soon. There are way too many conductors down here and I don’t want to draw any attention or hit you accidentally.”

“Don’t worry about me, let’s just keep going.”

They froze as the radio crackled.

“Hawk here. Primary acquired, secondary is still MIA. Squad two: explosives of unknown quantity and type were found on the fourth floor. Over.”

“Squad one copies.”

“Squad two copies. We only just surfaced so we’ll be moving fast to catch up. Over.”

“How do we want to handle extraction? I only have our primary.” Mike’s brow furrowed as Levi paused before speaking again, his voice more tense. “Please advise.”

“Stick to the –” Hanji’s pause and the muffled crackling caused Mike’s frown to deepen. “New instructions: Get clear, then radio for extraction.”

“Wilco. Hawk out.”

Barely-contained fury was evident on Nanaba’s face, and Mike reached out to lightly lay a finger on her arm in order to get her attention. Her expression softened slightly at the concerned look that Mike was giving her.

“What if Marco is on the same floor? Is Eren really that much more important?” Nanaba’s tone was hushed but heated and Mike flinched and paused before responding.

“Unfortunately… yes.” He couldn’t meet Nanaba’s eyes as she stared at him. “I don’t like admitting it either, but even if Eren didn’t know anything going into this he probably knows more now. If they’ve separated them where do you think they would keep Marco?”

“Probably not too close by.” Nanaba frowned in concentration. “Actually, if Hawk didn’t find anything on the fourth floor and Commander and Dr. Scientist haven’t found anything either… we know we’re behind on time and we’ve barely covered half the sub-basement.”

“Exactly.”

“There’s barely anything down here except for wiring and pipes. Care to sniff out a way upstairs?” Mike nodded and gave her a slight smile.

“My dear, I’d be more than happy to.”

When they started out again they were close to flat-out running. They put far less emphasis on stealth now; alerting the Titans to their presence would be far less of a concern since Levi and Eren would be clear shortly and Hanji and Erwin were more than capable of handling themselves. As they rounded yet another corner they came upon another Titan. They moved quickly to immobilize them; Nanaba sending out a small jolt of electricity and Mike quickly moving to grab them and put a hand over their mouth before they could call for help. Mike moved his hand aside for the briefest of moments so that Nanaba could pull their mask off. The panicked eyes of a young woman met Nanaba’s own.

“He’s going to take his hand off of your mouth and you’re going to answer our questions. Things won’t end well if you scream.” The woman’s body was trembling so hard that it took her a moment to be able to give them a shaky nod.

“You’re holding two boys captive. Where are they?” Nanaba’s tone was sharp and her gaze steely. Mike pulled his hand away a few inches but kept his grip tight around the woman’s body.

“One of th-them is on the third f-floor. The other is on the floor j-just above us. I- I don’t know wh-which is which.” Nanaba held two fingers to the woman’s side and Mike let go quickly as Nanaba sent a stronger jolt of electricity to her body, knocking her out.

“Thank you for your cooperation.”

“How long will she be out?”

“Two minutes tops. Take her radio so she can’t call anyone when she comes to.”

Nanaba spared only a quick moment to double-check the woman’s pulse before they were moving again. Their steps continued to echo through the hallways, but there didn’t seem to be anyone around to care. They slowed as they found a staircase and began to quietly creep upwards. As they were exiting the stairs they heard a muffled rumble and crouched low as they felt the vibrations move down the stairs. Around them dust and grime floated as it shook off of the walls and ceiling. The slight tremors passed quickly and they started to stand again.

“That was an explosion.” Nanaba’s voice was slightly shaky and Mike’s wasn’t much better when he responded.

“Hawk and Eren should be clear, but we need to figure out what’s going on with all of them.” Nanaba took the radio from Mike and pressed to activate it.

“This is squad two. We felt an explosion. Is everyone clear? Does anyone copy?” There was nothing but dead static. “This is squad two –“

There was a squawk and what sounded like a static-garbled voice and the both of them froze, expressions hopeful. But nothing came of it; the maybe-voices were too difficult to decipher. Nanaba handed it off to Mike again for him to fiddle around with the frequencies.

“Well let’s hope they’re okay. We’re closer to an exit going up than down at this point.”

“Let’s move quickly then.”

Exiting the stairwell they found a wide hallway stretching out before them and ending at a singular door. They moved forward with some amount of confidence given that there were only two places anyone could come from. It didn’t take more than a minute to reach the door, and Mike paused with his hand on the door knob.

“There are a few people on the other side. Close too.”

“Alright.” Nanaba brought her hands up and at the ready before nodding at Mike to open the door.

The door barely made a sound as they opened it and found themselves in a large room. Fifty-five gallon drums were shoved together in groups, while crates were stacked practically to the ceiling in some places. Even with the numerous drums and crates they could tell that the room was cavernous. There was a faint thud that echoed through the room, causing the both of them to duck down. Mike’s eyes flitted around as he sniffed and the both of them listened, but there was nothing more to be heard besides the droning hum of the fluorescent lights above them.

“There’s nobody here.” Nanaba spoke as softly as possible.

“There should have been. Something’s very odd, let’s keep mov –”

Mike cut himself off and Nanaba followed his downward gaze to the floor where a puddle of blood was slowly spreading from behind a stack of crates. The both of them cautiously edged around the crates, on the alert for any sign of movement.

They pulled up in shock at what lay before them.

Two bodies were sprawled out on the floor, bloody halos pooling around their heads. Mike leaned down to pull the mask from one of the bodies to reveal a single gunshot to their forehead; removing the mask from the other body revealed the same cause of death. He dropped the masks and straightened up to face Nanaba as she began to speak.

“Probably from a hand gun.” Nanaba frowned as she bent down and squatted next to the body to take a closer look. “This was pretty close range. Not right on them – no scorch marks – but at a guess I’d say they weren’t more than a couple feet away.”

“It was clearly someone they both knew and trusted if they were shot at such close range. And from the front too.” Mike slowly squatted down as well and took a sharp sniff. A look of disgust crossed his face and Nanaba gave him a worried look. “I hate the smell of dead bodies.”

“And yet here you are, sniffing at bodies like a police dog.”

“They’re very recently dead. Probably still just barely alive when we entered. I thought something felt odd.”

“So the Titans killed two of their own –why?” Nanaba stood up and Mike did the same. “I can’t think of any good reason unless they tried to turn against them, but there’s no sign of a fight.”

“They might have betrayed them; switched sides as informants – maybe for the Military Police. Then again, given that they don’t seem to be any more in the know than us I doubt it. No way is the Stationary Guard involved or they would’ve made a move by now, and we definitely don’t have any informants with the Titans themselves…” Mike scratched at his stubble, a hard look on his face. “Dead men tell no tales.”

“The noise we heard when we came in must have been the shooter leaving. They can’t have gone too far.”

The both of them craned their necks, searching for some sort of exit. After a moment they caught a glimpse of a door, far away on an adjacent wall. Navigating through the drums and stacks of crates they made their way towards it; the door was heavy enough that it required the both of them to push it open. On the other side of the door they stepped blindly into near-darkness. The light behind them only illuminated a sliver of the room, leaving just two bare bulbs to light the rest. The difference in lighting would have only been slightly disorienting if it weren’t for the cacophony of noise that had started when they entered echoing around the room.

They both held their hands over their ears, trying to block out the sound of at least a dozen dogs barking and growling while Mike was practically gagging on the stench of excrement that permeated the air. They gave each other a quick look and a nod, silently agreeing to continue forward and past the kennels of snarling dogs as fast as possible to look for a way out. The snarling and barking increased more and more as they moved farther into the room. Cautiously, they moved towards one of the cages to get a closer look. Unlike the others, it was cowering in the back of the cage biting at itself and ripping off flesh and fur and whining pitifully. The both of them startled backwards as one of the dogs in the next cage over hurled itself against the door, barking and frothing at the mouth, leaving a sizeable dent in the wire. They watched as it continued to bite and claw at the door, blood dripping from its eyes and nose and mouth.

They could only stare in horror at the dent that it left in the wire as it continued to snarl while tearing at the cage door. Other dogs began to imitate the behavior of the one, all snarling and leaving blood on the metal as they tried to claw their way out. Finally the two of them were startled into action as the cage hinges groaned. They tripped over things as they hurried to find a door out; the barking and snarling and the sound of furry flesh claws hitting metal overwhelming them as they moved and gagged on the fetid smell of excrement. They continued to edge forward through the darkness, feet occasionally coming in contact with a box or bag and causing them to jump back with a start. As soon as they spotted dim light outlining a door they sprinted towards it, the sound of boots on concrete and unknown objects kicked out of the way doing nothing to mute the sound of straining hinges and the echoing guttural snarls and yelps of self-inflicted pain. They didn’t even pause as they reached the door; instinct drove them forward and through it without a thought, the lock giving way under their combined weight.

Mike and Nanaba shielded their eyes against the assault of light on the other side of door as they tumbled into a narrow corridor. Their breath came in sharp pants as they inhaled the fresh air and reveled in the relative quiet as the heavy door slammed shut behind them, dampening the sound of the hell that they had emerged from. Mike had a coughing fit as his lungs tried to get rid of the foul air while Nanaba leaned against the opposite wall and slid down to sit on the floor.

“I can’t believe…” Nanaba pulled her mask off and ran a shaky hand through her hair. She took a few deep breaths to calm down before putting her mask on again.

“We’re out, though.” Mike’s voice was rough from coughing and he took in a few deep breaths. “We need to keep going.”

“I know.” Nanaba stood up, using the wall to stabilize herself. She took a deep breath and her face went hard with determination as she turned to face Mike. “What does your nose tell you?”

“Nothing.” He looked away and wouldn’t meet Nanaba’s eyes. “Everything’s too muddled. I’m sailing blind. I’m sorry.”

“Oh no, I won’t know what’s on the other side of every door.” She laid her hand on Mike’s cheek and gently guided him to look at her again and smiled. “This is just like any other solo mission for me. It’s fine.”

“Alright.” Mike brought his hand up to cup Nanaba’s and gave her a weak smile that looked more like a grimace. “You taking point then?”

“I like the look of the door on the left. Shall we, dear?”

The both of them moved cautiously even though the hallway was empty, trying to focus on any noises even as their ears rang with phantom growls. It took barely a minute before they were crouched next to the door, listening for anything on the other side. They were able to hear the faint buzz of muffled voices and moved to open the door a crack.

“…get upstairs.”

“He’s too out of it to even walk and I am _not_ carrying some useless kid up blown-out stairs.” Nanaba and Mike looked at each other with wide eyes and hesitated only a moment before pushing the door open.

Barely twenty feet away were four people; two masked Titans holding up a man in a kneeling position while a third Titan leveled a gun at their head. The kneeling man lifted his head, glazed eyes staring at the gun aimed at his head and dark freckles standing out against sickly pale skin. The three Titans froze at the sound of Mike and Nanaba’s sudden entrance but recovered quickly, the other two drawing weapons of their own as the third kept their gun aimed squarely at Marco.

Mike and Nanaba charged forward; Mike’s arms drawn up into a fighting stance while Nanaba flung her arm forward, lightning on her fingertips.

The crackling bolt of electricity traveling through the air did nothing to muffle the gunshot.


	78. Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't quite as well-edited as it should be but I'm leaving directly from work tomorrow to go away for the weekend. I wanted to post chapter 79 a day after this one but my motivation is flagging a little and posting usually gives me a little bit of a boost. Sorry it's kind of short though.
> 
> Anyway, cheers to chapter 66 coming out because I love everything about it and I'm hype to see the typset version.

“Fuck.” Levi tried to stand for a second time, his ankle buckling under him yet again.

“So what do we do now?” Eren’s body swayed slightly and he rested his hands on the floor to steady himself. The angry look on Levi’s face held as he slumped back onto the wall before touching at his wrist.

“Squads one and two. Come in.” Levi listened to the jumbled up and staticky sounds for a moment before starting to fiddle with the frequency settings to no avail. “Shit.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Hopefully it’s just that the explosion messed with the signal somehow. Give it a minute.” _Please just be interference from the explosion. Don’t let it be jammed._  

The both of them sat in silence, Levi listening intently for any anyone who might be approaching and trying to quiet the ever-growing unease at the silence. _Someone should have shown up by now. I’ve incapacitated four of their people. Everyone on this floor is radio silent. That should be cause for concern._  They let a few minutes pass and watched the dislodged dust begin to settle like snow on the wide planks of the floor before Levi took a deep calming breath and tried the radio again.

“This is Hawk, come in.” He listened to dead static stretch on and felt his heart slamming in his chest.

“So… what now?” Eren was looking at him, not completely cognizant of his surroundings yet but his senses sharpening faster now; his eyes beginning to focus and clear.

“We need to get clear.”

“Everyone else…”

“You fucking heard Hanji. We need to get out of here and contact Moblit. We have no idea what’s going on right now and everyone’s instinct is going to be to get the fuck out of here.”

“How?” Levi felt the bottom fall out of his stomach. Eren was slowly becoming more coherent, but even sitting down he was still swaying slightly, and with his own injured ankle there was no way that he could fully support another person. His eyes swept around the hallway, trying to think of something as his unease grew greater and greater by the second.

“I’ll lean on the wall, you lean on me. My ankle sure as shit isn’t broken – I’d be in a lot more pain – it just can’t take my full weight.”

To prove his point Levi stood up, hand against the wall for support before reaching down to haul Eren up as well. He grit his teeth against the throb in his ankle as he pulled Eren up, refusing to show the pain that he was feeling. There was only one thing on his mind; get the fuck out.

_______________________

The four of them had made their way out of the excavated pit of rubble and onto the street above, the dim light of a distant street lamp barely illuminating their surroundings. They had already called Connie and Jean to let them know what had happened, and in hushed and angry voices they discussed what their next move would be.

“We can’t backtrack through the tunnels at this point. It’s going to take too long and I can only make a best guess about where they are.” Sasha’s face was grim. “They focused a lot more on where we were going when we were going over strategies and I guess now we know why.”

“Well we know that they went in the opposite direction…” Krista trailed off and looked at Ymir with desperation.

“I don’t want to acknowledge this, but we have no idea where that tunnel leads. It could have veered off in any direction after that. Sasha’s right: now we know why they were so focused on making sure _we_ were going where they wanted us to.”

“I’m good at tracking, but I’m not so good that I can reverse engineer where they went.” 

“For all we know Hawk and Dr. Scientist were the ones at the right place and that’s why we didn’t see them before we started out.” Mikasa was glaring at a wall with her teeth and fists clenched.

“No, we sort of know which direction Hawk and Dr. Scientist went in.” Sasha crossed her arms in front of her. “They would have let more drop on a location that didn’t matter so I’m pretty sure that isn’t it.”

“I’m going to take a look above.” Mikasa received sympathetic though skeptical looks from the other three but stood resolute. “It’s better than just standing here waiting.”

Before any of the others could say another word Mikasa was pushing off the ground, grimacing at the twinge in her neck, a reminder of the last time she dealt with a Titan. Moving somewhat slower than usual she took care to put less strain on herself in case they had to deal with any attacks. She had only just cleared the roofs of the surrounding buildings when she saw a small plume of smoke a ways off in the distance. Hovering for a moment she tried to get her bearings to relay directions to the others.

Mikasa had only just started to go back down when she heard a large explosion. A lurch in her gut sent her back up again, unable to take her eyes off of an even larger plume of smoke now rising from the same place. Below she could hear frantic voices asking her what was happening. 

She kept herself in check only long enough to tell the rest of them which way to go before she was in the air again.

This was a feeling she was all too familiar with.

It was also a feeling she hadn’t had in seven years.

_______________________

They had finally gotten to their feet and were starting to move forward. There was a window within view of them, and all that they needed to do in order to get out was to break it. Eren was conscious enough that he could hold on while Levi grappled them out, and having a bad ankle wasn’t going to stop him from being able to use his gear. The landing wouldn’t be easy but it wasn’t a hindrance to getting out. 

The both of them pressed onward slowly, moving barely a foot at a time as they tried to work together to go forward and looking like the least coordinated entrants in a three-legged race. The nauseous and painful churning in Levi’s stomach increased with every inch they moved forward. He hadn’t seen more than a handful of Titans on the floor above and the Titans on this floor had gone down practically without a fight. It had been at least twenty-five minutes since he had incapacitated the first Titan on this floor and not a single person had shown up to check things out. Then it began to dawn on him.

_This was all a fucking set-up, wasn’t it? They drew us in._

Levi was so lost in frustration that he almost didn’t hear the click of a detonator and the first in a string of explosions. He operated purely on reflex as he pulled Eren to the ground, letting out a sharp grunt of pain as his ankle buckled again. The explosives ripped through the building; parts of the ceiling above crumbling and falling in a crash of plaster, crates from the attic space falling and crashing. Levi scrambled to pull them both closer to the wall as flaming beams and crates came crashing down. The dust hadn’t even gotten a chance to settle before flames began to eat away at old wood, sending smoke billowing into the air.

 _They had accelerants packed in with the explosives. Fuck. Fuck everything._  

Levi coughed, his lungs trying to expel the smoke and plaster dust as he looked around and tried to assess just how fucked they were. The window that they had been heading towards was now blocked off by shattered crates and chunks of ceiling and flames were beginning to take hold of more than just what had fallen from above. Flames were beginning to lick and catch at the exposed wooden lathes in the wall and scorch the wide planks of the floor. In no direction could Levi see a way out of the building; they would have to search for a new way out themselves. The way behind them was blocked worse than the way ahead and Levi could only hope that they found some way out before they had to go down any stairs. Having taken in as much of their surroundings as he was able in a few minutes, Levi finally turned back to check on Eren. He had expected him to be somewhat shell-shocked by the sudden explosion, but he hadn’t anticipated him curling in on himself, his brow furrowed and his body tight.

“Hey! We don’t have fucking time for this.” Eren remained non-responsive. “We don’t have time for this bullshit. We need to get out of here before we burn up or the building collapses so –”

Comprehension dawned on Levi, his face dropping from frustration to worry. His hand hovered uncertainly above Eren’s body as he debated how best to get his attention.

“I really need you to get up, Eren.” He laid a hand on Eren’s should and shook him a bit rougher than he probably should have. “So help me I will fucking drag you if you don’t get your ass up.”

Eren turned slightly to face him, eyes wide but his jaw set in determination as he nodded. His arms shook slightly as he pushed himself up and his breath came faster than usual. Levi pushed himself up before grabbing Eren, his ankle screaming in protest as he put his full weight on it in order to pull him up. He had joked about dragging Eren but found himself practically dragging him anyway. Eren was fully upright but stumbling along, head down and refusing to look up.

Together they moved forward, Levi guiding them to skirt around the burning fallen debris as they choked on smoke and ash and his ankle throbbing and screaming in protest. He grit his teeth against the pain, continuing to focus on finding a way out. It was slow and difficult but eventually they did make it to the end of the hallway and turned around the corner, hoping that a way out would come into view. Instead they found a windowless hallway, a doorway at the end offering some small amount of hope.

They had barely gone ten feet down the hallway when they watched as an entire wall exploded outwards, sending massive chunks of plaster and wood flying into the opposite wall. _Fuck everything. Just can’t catch a fucking break today._

A moment later a person came into view.

_I take it back. Thank fucking Christ._

Standing at the end of the hallways was a very angry and frantic-looking Mikasa dodging piles of fallen ceiling as she ran towards them.

“Fucking take him and go.” He shoved Eren at her and she caught him easily. “Just tell me where I can get out and I’ll be behind you.”

“Go through where I came. I knocked out a chunk of exterior wall near there.” 

“Thanks.” They gave one another a curt nod before she lifted Eren easily and carried him off.

 _Well at least I don’t have to worry about carrying him anymore._ He took a step forward and began to limp forward as fast as possible, ignoring the pain that shot up his leg with every step he took. Rather than trying to find a clearer route he scrambled over the chunks of wall that Mikasa had crashed through until finally a hole to the outside came into view. He dragged himself over, getting just close enough that he could use his grapple gear before shooting out the wires and jumping as soon as he felt them go taut.

Landing when you were essentially swinging into a wall full-force was never easy; doing it with only one leg while dazed from inhaling smoke and ash made it even more difficult. It was one of his less graceful landings and he couldn’t bring himself to care even a little bit when he flew full-body into the wall of the neighboring building, his arms held in front of his face and his good leg bent forward in an attempt to lessen the impact before loosening the wires and lowering himself to the ground. He dropped to all fours and shook as he coughed violently, gasping as his body tried to expel the smoke and take in fresh air.


	79. Omniscience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death. 
> 
> Enjoy.

The gunshot missed Mike by a mile, the result of the Titan not having paused to fully aim. Similarly, Nanaba's lightning missed another Titan as they overbalanced and stumbled. Both sides were forced to regroup, as neither could get an advantage over the other. Mike and Nanaba dodged bullets as they sprinted for a pillar –Nanaba throwing lightning near but not at them – trying to avoid hitting Marco. In the relative safety of the space behind the pillar,Mike and Nanaba tried to figure out how to handle the situation.

"So, got anything for me?" A bullet hit the pillar and scattered chipped concrete, and Nanaba shot her hand out quickly to shoot lightning in the Titans’ direction.

"Just a bad feeling in my gut."

"Huh, I wonder why?" Mike sighed deeply at Nanaba’s flippant attitude.

"Nanaba, I'm really uncomfortable with this whole situation. I've never been this blind on an operation before."

"I know, I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand lightly and gave him an apologetic look. “I'm used to _not_ having you with me, so your premonition is an added bonus. Not having it right now doesn't really change much for me."

"I know but -" Mike cut himself off and the both of them tensed at the sound of fresh clips being loaded. "This shouldn't be the norm for you."

"Hush. We've had this argument before and I'm not having it again while we're being shot at. We can discuss your protective instincts when we're out of this mess and we have - ah!" She pushed Mike’s head lower as another gunshot rang out and hit the pillar, shattering off another part of the cement. Nanaba quickly retaliated, throwing another bolt of lightning in the direction of the gunfire.

"We need to move. This pillar isn't going to hold out forever."

"I can't throw lightning around willy-nilly. I'm not holding back and I don't want to hit Marco."

"Take it down a notch?"

"Mike. They are _shooting_ at us. I'm not setting my lightning to stun."

 _"And you're also worried about hitting Marco._ Fuck." A gunshot hit the already pitted and weakened pillar and a chunk of cement went flying. Mike pulled Nanaba up and they ran to another pillar ten feet away. They crouched again, panting. "Even a little static is going to make them pause. I'm starting to be able to smell again and they're afraid of _something._ Not sure what though."

Nanaba gave him a curt nod and was about to send a weaker jolt of electricity out when a loud rumbling filled the room, causing everything to vibrate. A large chunk of cement fell from the ceiling, sending dust flying.

"They're blind, _move._ " Nanaba pushed herself up and away from the pillar with Mike right at her side. She sent out low voltage strikes of electricity at the other side of the concrete, forcing them to duck for cover long enough for the two of them to advance. Unfortunately, the dust was settling quickly and they were visible to one another again only moments later. Mike and Nanaba were forced to take cover again behind the fallen concrete slab. With the decreased distance Nanaba was able to aim more accurately, but so were the Titans. They crouched while shots rang out and fragments of concrete shattered over them as bullets made contact with their cover. Patiently, they waited for the opportunity that they knew was coming.

At the sound of ammunition clips being discarded and reloaded, the both of them broke cover and charged forward again, scrambling to push themselves over the pitted concrete barrier. As soon as they could see the other side Nanaba threw out a crackle of electricity, hitting one of the Titans and causing them to drop to the floor, their limbs splaying out like a discarded rag doll. Mike was about to vault over the top of the concrete as well when he realized that one Titan had moved their gun back to aim at directly at Marco’s head again.

 

Premonition was always an odd thing. Sometimes it was nothing more than a feeling, other times it would be full minutes. This time it was no more than a couple of seconds, but he could see it arcing out before him in the form of a bullet. If hit its mark she'd never walk again.

Mike moved quickly, throwing himself towards Nanaba to push her out of the way and braced for the bullet that he knew would be grazing his side instead. But the bullet never came and he watched as Nanaba continued to fall away. He didn’t think then, he simply dove after Nanaba, trying to catch her before she hit the floor. And now he could feel her in his arms; her pulse faded, her eyes blank. He cradled her close, blood trickling down his arms from the hole in her temple.

Premonition was a dangerous thing. The most inconsequential alterations could yield the most catastrophic consequences.

 _“Nanaba…”_ His voice caught and he held her closer and buried his nose in her hair. He inhaled deeply, the smell of death slowly creeping to cover Nanaba’s own. He let his tears fall freely into her golden hair, his breathing coming in short gasps and sobs as he shook and held his wife.

A gunshot sounded and was followed by another. He would have welcomed pain, welcomed death, but he felt nothing. Mike lifted his head slightly in confusion to see the remaining Titans collapsed on the ground, their own bloody halos blooming from beneath their heads. Looking further he saw two people, both of them lowering their weapons in the wake of shooting their own masked comrades. From the shadows behind the duo another figure approached and Mike tightened his arms instinctively around Nanaba’s body. He bent his head to bury his face in her hair again, searching beneath the scent of death for Nanaba’s own. A feeling of vulnerability spread across the back of his neck. He didn’t need premonition to know that there was a gun trained on him.

“Just do it.” Mike’s voice was rough as he spoke around the lump in his throat. He waited for pain, for oblivion – but nothing came.

“You know, I’d really hoped to get all of you.” Mike didn’t lift his head as he listened to the sharp snap of shoes on the floor. “This is a bit of a disappointment, isn’t it?”

“Sir!” A feminine voice called out from one of the masked pair. “The fire upstairs is spreading.”

“We’re fine, there are other exits.” The footsteps moved even closer. Mike knew that whoever the man was he wasn’t more than five feet away; he could smell the stink of death on him. “A shame. Looks like she was pretty.”

Mike’s body tightened and his free hand curled into a fist while the other continued to hold Nanaba’s head. He could feel the continued presence of the man continuing to stand no more than a few feet away from him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, continuing to hold Nanaba close. But now her scent had faded and was covered by death and blood and Mike let out a choked sob.

“Really now. If she meant so much to you maybe you shouldn’t have pushed her into a bullet.” Mike’s jaw clenched and he looked up. The other man’s face was framed by long shaggy auburn hair and partially-obscured by heavy eyebrows and a huge beard. He was taller than Mike even, and wore an expensive tailored black suit. Mike met the other man’s dark eyes and glared, his body shaking as he was overcome with grief and rage.

“I didn’t –” Mike’s mouth snapped shut before he could finish the sentence.

“She wasn’t very good though was she? Too overcome with emotion, might have gotten you killed trying to rescue that useless child.” The man jerked his head backwards. He watched Mike for a moment, unperturbed by his lack of response before reaching out and grabbing Mike’s hair to pull him to his knees, forcing him to let go of Nanaba. “Eyes on me now. I have questions for you.”

“Go fuck yourself.” He glared defiantly up at the man from his kneeling position. His face was twisted and ugly, tear tracks obvious as they ran through the dust on his face.

“You really want to join your woman, don’t you?” There was a brief pause before the man’s hand shot out, backhanding Mike across the face and sending him to the ground.

“Sir! We need to leave!” The woman’s voice called out again. Mike lay there, blinking past the pain and staring across the floor into Nanaba’s unseeing eyes. The man turned and walked away, leaving Mike where he was on the ground. He pushed himself up and towards Nanaba, taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb along hers. It’s not that Mike was injured, he could go after the three retreating figures, but to leave Nanaba –

“Oh, I forgot.” Mike looked up as the man turned to walk back towards him, a wicked smile showing from beneath his beard as he drew a gun.

“My name’s Ape.”

A gunshot; blood splattered on the floor.


	80. Debrief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End-of-the-arc chapter apparently means an almost 4.4k chapter.
> 
> I don't want to say I'm going on hiatus but there's another project I'm working on that I'm going to be focusing on a bit more so probably no updates for the next two weeks. Who knows though, the next two chapters are bridge chapters to the next arc so they'll be relatively short probably.
> 
> Incidentally, thank you for allowing me to bathe in your tears last chapter. It was very rejuvenating.

As soon as he was able to breathe normally again Levi began to search for everyone else, limping along slowly and yet trying to move as quickly as possible, ears pricked for familiar voices. He was thankful that he didn’t have far to go; he could hear Mikasa’s raised voice coming from the other side of the building and he could only assume that she was yelling at Hanji and Erwin. His assumption was proved to be correct as he rounded the corner.

“–tricked us! He nearly died!”

“We did the best we could with the information we had.” Hanji’s tone was stern but they managed to look apologetic.

“You _lied._ You promised you’d keep us informed.”

“I said we would _if_ possible.” Erwin turned away from looking at the burning building to face Mikasa. “There was nothing transparent about this operation to any of us. Our intel was wrong. Your friends are alive and Eren is alive. Our situation could be a lot worse.”

“Still! You should have–”

“Oi, do you really think you could’ve kept it together? You’re shaking almost as badly as your brother.” Levi jerked his head towards where Eren was sitting, curled in on himself against the wall of the neighboring building. He continued to limp over, his words a snarl around the pain in his ankle. “You would’ve froze up and gotten the both of you fucking killed.”

“I wouldn’t have!”

“Enough.” Erwin didn’t raise his voice, but the authority in it silenced the both of them. They all watched as the building burned and the top floors began to crumble, the weight settling on the floors below and causing one side of the building to cave in completely. Mikasa shuddered violently and tried to ignore the pointed look that Levi aimed at her. After another minute of watching the building’s fiery collapse she turned sharply and walked towards Eren to kneel beside him, frowning in concern as he flinched away from the comforting hand she tried to lay on his shoulder. Levi let his gaze linger on them for a moment before turning back to Erwin and Hanji. The three of them stood rooted in place as they watched the building. Levi shifted unconsciously, wincing as he put weight on his bad ankle and quickly shifting back to the other foot.

“You should sit, you’re going to make it worse.” Hanji was looking at Levi, worry evident on their face. “How did it happen?”

“First explosion. Eren fell and pulled me down with him.” He shrugged half-heartedly and frowned. “I didn’t exactly do myself any favors trying to get us out though. Probably should’ve just had us try to scoot our fucking asses along rather than trying to walk.”

“Stop putting weight on it and go sit.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Levi…” Hanji sighed and their shoulders slumped.

“Mike and Nanaba are still in there and so is the other kid.”

“When we last made contact they had just gotten into the sub-basement.” Hanji’s brow furrowed as they continued to speak. “The first floor isn’t fully collapsedand you know the basements on these are built like fallout shelters. Some stuff probably fell but there’s no way the basements fully collapsed.”

“They killed a lot of their own people.” Levi’s voice was quiet. “I laid out four on the third floor and I didn’t hear anyone leave the fourth before the second explosion. At a guess that’s about ten people.”

“We knocked out a few… saw at least a dozen on the first floor. It doesn’t look like anyone left though.” Hanji crossed their arms tightly and looked at the ground. “This was all a set up and they used their own people as bait. Made it look like something was happening here. They took Marco and Eren but it looks like that was all they had.”

Levi grimaced but didn’t respond and Hanji continued to look down, a troubled expression on their face as they scuffed the toe of their boot in the dirt. While he wasn’t too physically removed from the group, Erwin felt miles away as he sat on a discarded crate, his body hunched forward and resting his elbows on his knees and capturing his head in his hands. Levi hesitated only a moment before limping off to sit down against the wall of the neighboring building. He left a good twenty feet of space between himself and Eren and Mikasa, needing the distance to process everything that had happened.

_It was all a set-up and we fucking bought it. We don’t know where Mike and Nanaba and that Marco kid are. The basements won’t have collapsed but we can’t go after them right now. We have a couple of scared kids with us and probably another batch on their way here. My ankle is busted who knows how badly and I feel like someone sandpapered the insides of my lungs. Let this be a fucking nightmare._

Levi was pulled out of his own thoughts by the arrival of both Nifa and Moblit, both of their vehicles coming to a screeching halt before they were both running across the street. Moblit wordlessly pulled bottles of water out of his satchel and handed one to Levi before offering another to Mikasa and Eren. Water distributed, he made his way over to join Nifa as Erwin and Hanji brought them both up to speed. Levi watched Mikasa try to coax Eren into drinking some water as he gulped down his own. An odd hush fell over all of them, the roaring and crashing of the fire providing an odd white noise as Mikasa silently tended to Eren.

Heavy footsteps and shrieks of panic broke through the stillness, heralding the arrival of the 104th as Jean parked his car and they all spilled out into the night. They all ran forward towards them, their eyes wide with panic as they took in the flaming building.

_Just what we need, a pack of kids screaming and drawing attention._

Levi put his hand on the wall and was just starting to push himself up as everyone converged. He stayed in place as Erwin shifted so that everyone was gathered by where Levi was barely standing, his injury less apparent as a result. He leaned back against the wall and let his eyelids close, willing away the dull throb in his skull. Erwin raised a hand before any of the 104th could speak, effectively cutting them off before they could start questioning them.

“Yes, we lied and sent you somewhere else.” A growl came from behind Ymir’s fangs and Krista laid a hand on her wrist lightly. Erwin paused a moment before continuing. “Eren is alive but we aren’t certain where Marco is, nor do we know where Nose or Lady Lightning are. We can only assume they are all in the basement or sub-basement and we plan on starting a search shortly.”

“You don’t have Marco!?” Jean started to lunge forward but Sasha caught him quickly.

“The basements in these factories might as well be bunkers: there isn’t much that can burn and the walls and ceilings aren’t fragile enough to collapse. We’ll find them.” His words were greeted with skeptical looks and raised eyebrows. “Now, Nifa is going to take you –”

“ _Excuse me?_ You’re telling us to just pack it in when Marco is still missing?” Jean was giving Erwin a furious look. Sasha tightened her grip to hold him back.

“You need to leave. Nifa will take you back to our headquarters and we’ll meet you there.”

“That’s not good enough!” Jean looked furious enough to take a swing at Erwin; Sasha continued to hold him back, now with Connie’s aid.

“Please, our friend is still in there. We want to stay.” Levi nearly laughed at the theatrically plaintive face Krista was making at Erwin.

“I’m not asking you to leave. I’m telling you.” The 104th quailed under Erwin’s stern look. “Eren and Red Scarf will go with Nifa. Jean will follow in his car; if you would feel better having more people than just Red Scarf accompanying Eren I don’t think Nifa will mind.”

Jean still looked murderous as they all turned and walked back towards their cars, pausing before getting in to watch Mikasa help Eren walk, his gait still wobbly as he moved forward. As soon as both vehicles had pulled away Erwin turned to Hanji, Levi and Moblit.

 

“I suppose we have a lot of work cut out for us in a short period of time. The police ignore an awful lot of what happens in the palisades, but they aren’t going ignore this.”

“And we’re down two people.” Hanji arched an eyebrow at Levi as he opened his mouth, daring him to disagree. “Things will go faster once we make contact with Mike and Nanaba.”

“I’ll work from the top down since I’ll be able to clear away debris. Hanji, Moblit: there’s a closer access point to the tunnels on the other side of the neighboring building. You can work upwards. And Levi…” Erwin trailed off and grimaced. “Be our eyes and ears. Let us know what the status is up here. Hopefully we’ll be gone by the time the police show up.”

_________________________

Connie ended up travelling in the van with Eren and Mikasa, all of them sitting in awkward silence as Eren refused to say a word, simply drawing his legs up and resting his forehead on his knees. Even Mikasa seemed to be at a loss for what to do, choosing to simply look on, concern evident on her face but not moving to offer the physical comfort that he had brushed off earlier. Nobody spoke for the entire forty minute drive; the only sounds were the hum of the car and the thump of the occasional pothole.

Eventually they arrived at the Survey Corps’ headquarters, both vehicles pulling into the alleyway on the side of the building. Eren trailed along just behind Mikasa, his gait steady but his head tucked down, looking at where his feet were rather than where they were taking him. Nifa opened the door, allowing everyone else to enter ahead of her. Nifa leaned forward, reaching past Krista to flip the light switch; nothing happened.

“Seriously? They still haven’t replaced that damn lightbulb?” She sighed heavily and ushered everyone further into the darkened hallway so that she could reach sideways and open another door. This time a light came to life, illuminating the stairs down into the basement. “Sorry, but I don’t know how comfortable they are with you seeing the rest of headquarters. This is kind of our –”

“Quarantine zone.” Eren’s voice was soft and raspy; it was the first time Eren had spoken since Mikasa had rescued him. “Are there any extra clothes around? I’d really like to clean up.”

“Yeah, I can pull some spare clothes out of the closet. I hate to ask, but would it be okay if I took a few samples off of you? I promise it’s nothing invasive, just taking some swab samples.” Eren nodded mutely and went to stand awkwardly next to the bathroom door while Nifa rummaged through the closet down the hall.

When Nifa returned she was carrying both first aid and forensic sample kits with a change of clothes set on top. She shooed out everyone else as she sat Eren down on the toilet and took a few swab samples of the grime on his skin and another of his saliva. She made a soft noise of surprise when she saw the state of his hands and quietly began to clean them off, stopping every so often as Eren twitched away from the sting of the alcohol.

“Well that’s the worst of it. I’ll clean them a bit better and bandage them up after you’ve showered. If you could put your clothes in that plastic sample bag over there I’d really appreciate it.”

“Okay.”

“And take as long as you want. I swear they have an infinite supply of hot water here.” Nifa gave him a gentle smile before exiting the bathroom. “And Eren, whatever happened… none of it was your fault.”

It wasn’t until scalding hot water was cascading down his body and causing his various cuts and abrasions to sting with pain that he let himself cry.

_________________________

They were all eating soup that Nifa had heated up and quietly talking among themselves when they heard the upstairs door open and slam shut heavily. Nifa stood up and walked up the stairs; quiet murmurs could be heard from above. Eventually the sound of many feet could be heard descending the stairs and the Survey Corps came into view, Levi leaning heavily on Hanji as they slowly made their way down and grimacing at every step. All three of them were now covered in ash and crumbled debris, Erwin looking the worst with his uniform badly singed and a bloodied bandage over a gash on his arm.

The 104th could only look at them in shock.

“Marco is alive.” Some of the tension drained out of the room. “He’s currently hospitalized. His injuries aren’t insignificant, but he will live and will likely make a full recovery. His family is with him right now and we’ve told them as much as we can – which really isn’t much. Moblit is dealing with the police right now.”

“Ah, that’s probably my cue to get back to the precinct then.” Nifa grabbed her bag from the floor and the 104th an apologetic look. “I’m sorry we had to meet like this. Han- Dr. Scientist, I took some samples off of Eren. The kit and his clothes are on your work station.

“Thanks, Nifa.” Hanji nodded at her as she passed and began to ascend the stairs. Nobody spoke until Nifa’s footsteps had died away.

“What about Mike and Nanaba?” Eren’s voice was stronger now as he huddled under a blanket, Mikasa close by and watching him protectively.

“Nose and Lady Lightning are…” Hanji trailed off, a look of pain flitted across their face.

“They’re dead.” Erwin’s voice was hushed and somber. He didn’t look away as younger eyes filled with shock and disbelief searched his face for a lie. “We barely had time to recover them and Marco before the police showed up so we aren’t certain what happened yet. We may never find out given how unlikely it is that we’ll be able to get down there again. Or if we are, everything will be destroyed by then. All we can say with certainty is that they were shot.”

“They’re – Nose and Lady Lightning are…?” Krista trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. Ymir wrapped a protective arm around her, pulling her in close. It was unspoken but on all of their minds.

Nose and Lady Lightning were the best of the best.

Skilled. Experienced.

Their names had been known to the 104th long before they became heroes themselves. That the both of them could be defeated was unthinkable. And if they, with all of their years of experience between them could be killed…

None of the 104th could meet each other’s eyes. Even though she was in human form, Ymir’s face looked animalistic as she held Krista even tighter. Sasha’s mouth was parted in shock as she stared unseeing at the fraying seams of the couch. Mikasa did her best to school her face into neutrality while Connie and Jean’s eyes darted to each of their friends, brows creased with concern.

Eren was looking up at Levi now and Levi kept his face blank, refusing to acknowledge the pain and helplessness in Eren’s eyes.

“I hate to ask this of you, Eren…” Hanji was looking at him, pained and apologetic. “I have some questions for you while this is all still fresh in your mind. I’m so sorry for this, but you’re the only lead we have.”

Mikasa was immediately on her feet, her fury obvious as she began to open her mouth to voice her anger. The rest of the 104th had similarly indignant looks on their faces, all of them at the ready to jump to Eren’s defense.

“I understand. It’s fine.” Mikasa’s head whipped around in shock; the protest on the tip of her tongue dying as Eren stood and let the blanket fall away before walking over towards the Survey Corps. “It’s best to just get it over with, isn’t it?”

“Thank you for understanding, Eren.” Erwin’s voice was gentle and continued to be so as he turned to address the rest of them. “I’d imagine you want to stay close. Unfortunately I have to ask that you remain here for the time being.”

Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats and after a moment, even Mikasa returned to her seat on the couch, her expression concerned as Eren closed the distance between himself and the Survey Corps. Even Erwin looked somewhat uncomfortable with the situation. That Eren would have to relive the events of the past few days without any time to process it was cruel and they all knew it. But it was also the only choice that they really had if they wanted to move forward. Eren followed behind Levi and Hanji as they slowly made their way up, his throat tightened just a little more every time he noticed the limp in Levi’s step, every time he found another singed patch on Erwin’s uniform, every time he noticed another rip in Hanji’s overcoat.

 

Upstairs, Hanji guided him to the table where he’d eaten spaghetti and meatballs that Mike had made, where he had met Nanaba so briefly. He drew his mutilated fingers together, balling them up into fists. His hands throbbed and the pain kept his welling tears at bay. He looked up as he felt Hanji and Erwin sit down heavily at the table with him and watched as Levi walked slowly to the other side of the room, gripping furniture as he moved, silently refusing further aid. Eren’s eyes tracked Levi’s movement until he saw him enter a freight elevator he hadn’t noticed the previous times he had been there. It was only when the heavy doors had been pulled closed and the groan of the elevator started that Eren gave his full attention back to Hanji and Erwin.

“I really don’t know what to tell you… I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” His voice was quiet, he could barely look at either Hanji or Erwin.

“Eren, these things happen. We all know the risks when we don our masks.” Erwin paused and an indecipherable expression crossed his face briefly. “It’s morbid, but I think Mike would have rather died at Nanaba’s side than had to go on living without her and I don’t think Nanaba would have been much better than dead without Mike. I’d rather they were both still here but… perhaps it’s better like this.”

Erwin’s voice was even but the sorrow ran deep, Hanji’s was solemn as they looked at Eren. There was no expectance in Hanji’s look, only patience.

“I don’t know where you want me to start.”

“What’s the first thing you can think of?” Hanji tried to meet his eyes but Eren looked away. “Wherever you want to start. I know it’s a lot.”

“I’m glad –I’m glad Marco’s okay. I feel awful about –” He took a deep breath. “He shouldn’t have been there and everyone keeps telling me it’s not my fault, but if he hadn’t been with me…”

“What’s done is done. Did they separate you immediately?”

“No, they kept us together for a while. They kept threatening to hurt him and I really thought that he might have… That they would have hurt him.”

“He didn’t come out of this without a scratch, but he’s alive.”

“How badly was he injured?” Eren’s voice was small and he looked plaintively at the two seated across from him; Erwin’s tone was gentle when he spoke.

“I doubt he’ll be able to graduate in the spring. He’s going to be in the hospital for a while.”

“But he’s alive.” Eren grasped determinedly at that detail, his voice desperate.

“Yes. It’s going to be another day or two before you’ll be able to see him but yes, he’s alive and his prognosis is good.”

“That’s good…” Eren trailed off and they sat in silence, all of them reluctant to break it. Eren hung his head, forehead dipping low so that he was staring at the wooden table, his gaze tracing the swirl of the grain.

“Did they say anything about your fa –about Grisha?” Hanji caught themselves quickly, watching Eren’s face for his reaction to their near-slip. They looked concerned as Eren’s fists tightened and his body shook.

“They thought I’d seen him… They took me because they thought I knew something that I didn’t! They kept saying that I had to know something. Something about… Fuck!” Eren slammed his hand on the table and flinched in pain.

“Kid, your hands are fucked up enough. It would really suck for you if you had to get the hand you jerk off with amputated.”

Eren turned in shock at the proximity of Levi’s voice; he hadn’t noticed the man return and now he was walking gingerly towards them, already mere feet from the table. Eren watched him take the last few steps and realized that Levi had left only to change and wrap his ankle. He looked just as filthy as he had earlier save for the fact that he was now wearing loose sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. There was no ignoring the painful rasp in his voice from inhaling embers or the smudges of ash on all three of them. Suddenly he felt very self-conscious about being clean while the people who had worked so hard to save him were covered in filth. He stared down at his bandaged hands and played with a fraying bit of gauze.

“You were saying something before you yelled ‘fuck’ I think?” Hanji gave him a wry smile and Eren couldn’t find it in himself to be even remotely amused.

“Something about a key. I don’t know what they meant but they kept asking about it.” Eren shuddered violently as memories of being questioned began to surface. His breathing became shallow and ragged and he could feel his pulse flying.

“Eren?” Hanji’s voice was concerned but he couldn’t pull himself out to respond. He heard Erwin echo Hanji, the both of them saying his name, trying to get his attention. Someone snapped their fingers right in front of his face, startling him out of his own mind. Eren found himself tracing his gaze along the arm and up to Levi’s face; there was frustration there, but also concern. Shifting awkwardly in his seat, Eren turned and slumped down a bit, refusing to look at any of them.

“They grabbed me and Marco when we were walking back from getting lunch. Drugged us with something – chloroform I think. I don’t really remember the ride to wherever we were…”

Eren didn’t look up as he continued to talk, plowing forward chronologically and occasionally cutting out onto tangents and moving ahead or behind as he forgot and then remembered details. Looking down, he didn’t see the attentive look on Erwin’s face as he talked about the insistence that he had seen his father, or the horrified but intrigued look on Hanji’s face as he talked about being drugged and having his blood drawn, or Levi’s grimace as he talked about pulling nails out of the windowsill. He barely noticed when a glass of water was placed down next to him, pausing only to gulp it down before starting again. He refused to stop talking, doubting that he could start again if he stopped. Eren could only hope that Hanji was taking meticulous notes since he doubted he would be able to talk about any of this again; he could feel the mental strain and fatigue beginning to settle into his bones. He could feel his energy flagging and yet he continued; somehow he kept his emotions in check and didn’t break down when talking about being questioned or Marco being taken away or his reaction to the second explosion.

He knew he’d forgotten details by the time he got to the end but when he raised his head to look at everyone not even Hanji said anything. There was movement around him as Hanji and Erwin both stood, leaving him at the table with Levi. Eren shifted uncomfortably even though Levi wasn’t even looking at him.

“I’m sorry. I –”

“What the fuck are you sorry about?” Eren stared at him, startled by his vehement response and the scowl that settled over his face.

“Your leg… the fact that if I hadn’t gotten kidnapped then Mike and Nanaba wouldn’t be dead.” Angry tears clung to the corners of his eyes.

“How the hell is any of that your fault?”

“I fucking got kidnapped.” Eren’s voice rose as he continued to speak. “If I hadn’t, none of this would have happened.”

“So you’re apologizing for existing?” Levi was giving Eren a calculated look and Eren couldn’t help but blow up at him.

“ _Yes, I’m fucking apologizing for existing._ And now I want to go home and go to sleep and hope I don’t have any nightmares.” Tears that had been clinging to his eyelashes began to well over and fall, he hung his head again, hoping that his tears went unnoticed. “I just want to see my sister and my friends and go home.”

“Little difficult there, kid. Erwin told your friends to go home about two hours ago.” Eren’s head jerked up in surprise. “Your sister’s still here though. I think she’s sleeping right now.”

“How long… how long have I been talking?”

“Probably about four hours.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Hanji will give you a ride home in a moment.” Levi stood, leaning heavily on the table as he leveraged himself to his feet and wincing slightly as he put weight on his bad ankle.

“I’m sor–”

“Oi, shut it.” Levi’s harsh expression softened infinitesimally as he turned and faced Eren directly. “You did good, kid. Now go home and sleep.”


	81. Charred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I'm in the doldrums of writing bridge chapters leading into the next arc. (-_-;)
> 
> Not sure what updates are going to look like for the next couple of weeks because my depression came down like a hammer a couple days ago and my car officially died today and this isn't really related to ALYNA but I need to explain why my car dying is devastating. See, the old girl is a '98 Volkswagon Jetta and my family bought her in '99 when we moved out to suburbia and needed two cars. I learned to drive on the old girl and she was my escape when I needed to get out of the house through high school. I drove from New Jersey to Oregon to move in with my then-boyfriend and drove back East via a meandering route after we broke up this past May. She also got me the fuck out of my parents' house again this past January. She's been there for me through a lot.
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm dedicating this chapter to my goddamn car, may she rest in peace.

“Hawk, do you see anything up there?”

“Yeah Erwin, a fuck ton of fire.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I. It looks pretty dead but the light from the fire is really fucking with my vision. Hearing too.”

“Do what you can.”

“Of course.” Levi removed his finger from his wrist, cutting off radio communication.

He leaned his head back against the wall again and continued to try and take in deep breaths and coughing violently. Nifa and Moblit hadn’t been carrying particularly expansive med kits with them and so he had be reduced to using an inhaler every time a coughing fit became too bad. _At least Nifa had ventilation masks with her. It would be really shitty if_ all _of us ended up with charred lungs._ Levi’s train of thought was cut off as another round of coughing started and caused him to double over. The acrid taste of smoke filled his mouth ad he could feel the phlegm coming up as he started coughing again. Spitting out the gritty thick slime in his mouth, he stared in morbid fascination at the gray, blood-flecked muck on the ground.

_Great, that shit just came out of my fucking lungs._

While an inhaler was no substitute for actual oxygen Levi’s coughing began to calm down slightly. Walking around to look around as best he could with his injured ankle, Levi was about to update the others when the radio crackled. Hanji’s voice, subdued and solemn came through.

“We found them.”

“Where are you so we can rendezvous?” Erwin’s voice over the radio was muffled by his mask. He paused for a moment before continuing. “You don’t have your masks on, do you?”

“We’re in the basement. There’s some smoke – definitely a fire somewhere down here – but it’s not bad. Besides, Marco needs it more than I do.”

“So you found the kid?” Levi’s voice was gravelly and his throat burned painfully from coughing.

“Yeah… Mike and Nanaba too.”

“Put them on.” Erwin’s tone was commanding. “We need to know what they’ve see–”

“They’re dead.” Hanji’s voice was quiet but rose as they continued. “Marco’s badly injured and he’s alive, but Mike and Nanaba… _Mike and Nanaba…_ ”

“Dr. Scientist, Moblit: I’m heading towards you. Hawk: get ready to move out.”

_______________________________

They were gone just as the sirens began to close in; Moblit heading towards Trost General with Marco and the three remaining members of the Survey Corps heading back to headquarters, two bodies left in their wake.

The reality of being a hero was living in anonymity and dying an unglamorous death; whether that meant a slow death of infirmity as a result of a career of injuries or a fast and brutal death in the line of duty. The best that they could do for the bodies of their comrades was to look them over for clues as to what had happened. Dead men tell no tales but a body and a room full of circumstances could tell a sketch of a story. Hanji and Moblit had worked as quickly as they could while Erwin carried Marco back to the surface.

Dodging the sirens and flashing lights meant that it took them longer to drive through the palisades and get back to headquarters than it should have. Levi sat in the back with his legs stretched across the seats, boots off and his ankle crudely wrapped, trying to suppress his coughs and ignoring Hanji and Erwin’s concerned and disapproving looks.

_Just leave me the fuck alone. Don’t make this worse._

Getting out of the car, Levi’s ankle buckled and he had to catch himself against the door. He stood still and slumped, taking deep breaths and trying to block out the pain. He was about to push away from the car to start walking when Hanji came up next to him and grabbed him, supporting him as they walked forward. Too tired to protest, Levi leaned on them heavily as the three of them moved forward towards their headquarters.

The stairs proved somewhat difficult, what proved even more difficult were the expressions on the faces of the 104th as they updated them. Relief at the news that Marco had lived was quickly dampened and destroyed by the news of Mike and Nanaba’s deaths. Erwin gave them the comforting lie of claiming that they had recovered their bodies; that they hadn’t left them covered in blood and grime, that they hadn’t left them entombed in the ruins of a destroyed warehouse, that their bodies weren’t left alongside the bodies of killers, that they would be given the dignity of a proper burial.

Wide eyes sought out his own, pleading for something he couldn’t give. _Don’t fucking look at me. Don’t put this on me._

He could feel those same eyes on his back as they went back up the stairs, he could feel them on his back as he limped across the main room, he could feel them on his back as the elevator door closed behind him.

 

The second floor of headquarters was predominately made up of Hanji’s full lab and storage. They had also created a small, well-stocked infirmary that had on more than one occasion played host to everything from a couple of stitches to full-on surgery, the most harrowing of which had involved a bullet lodged in Erwin’s left side. At least Mike had steady hands or else –

Levi’s fist came down hard on the counter and he could hear the rattle of medical supplies in the drawers and cabinets. Gripping the counter for support, he braced himself as another coughing fit caused him to double over. He was breathing hard when it finally subsided and paused for a moment to catch his breath before going through the cabinets to find the oxygen tank he knew they had stashed somewhere. Once he’d found it he sat on the floor, his back ramrod straight against the wall as he breathed in deeply, the oxygen slowly evening out his heart rate and reduce the general fuzziness that he hadn’t been entirely aware of. Every so often he would have to pull the mask away to cough violently and spit out the phlegm that kept coming up.

 _How much more of this shit is in there? You think I’d be done with this already. The blood’s getting worse but that’s probably from coughing so fucking much. I’ll ask Nifa about it when she comes by tomorrow._ Levi ran his hand through his hair to push it back, face cringing in disgust at the grimy feeling. _Fucking gross. I can’t shower yet but I can at least change out of my uniform and wrap my ankle better._

Levi pushed himself up to hobble over to the cabinets where they kept support bandages and then began to look through another cabinet for spare clothing. Cooler air pressed against his skin as he stripped out of his uniform, causing him to shiver and goosebumps to raise on his arms. He quickly changed into the loose spare clothing he had found and sat down on the infirmary bed to stretch out his leg and have a closer look at it. Slowly, he prodded at his swollen ankle to check for any obvious signs of a fracture. Finding none he moved on to trying to roll and flex his ankle, wincing at the pain. Finally he stopped and sat back, some of the tension draining from his shoulders as he let out a deep sigh.

“Thank fucking Christ it’s not broken.” He sat back for a moment longer to wrap it before heading downstairs again, dreading the emotional catastrophe that awaited him downstairs.

 

Stepping out of the elevator, Levi was greeted by the tableau of Erwin and Hanji looking concernedly at Eren as his face twisted and his body tensed with every word he spoke until finally he broke and his hand slammed down.

“Kid, your hands are fucked up enough. It would really suck for you if you had to get the hand you jerk off with amputated.”

Eren was looking at him in shock and he could see Hanji’s face, clearly frustrated with him. _Okay, even I can admit that was a little shitty._ And yet Eren didn’t seem to be particularly bothered, Levi had half expected him to freak out and yet Eren would barely meet any of their eyes. Levi frowned, he could see the self-consciousness and self-loathing in Eren’s face and posture.

“You were saying something before you yelled ‘fuck’ I think?” He wasn’t surprised when Hanji’s words barely elicited a response from Eren, simply serving to get him back into talking, his voice somewhat unsteady now.

“Something about a key. I don’t know what they meant but they kept asking about it.” Eren shuddered violently and went dead silent, completely shutting down. Levi frowned as Hanji and Erwin tried to get his attention. _Fucking hell, let’s just get this over with, Eren._

He leaned forward and snapped his fingers in front of Eren’s face, earning him a startled look from Eren and annoyed ones from Hanji and Erwin. It took only a moment for Eren’s startled expression to resolve into a determined one and he began to speak again, this time with more confidence even as he avoided looking at any of them. Hanji used Eren’s active ignorance of them to take a moment and set up a camera to record everything he said, all of them perfectly aware that this was likely to be the only chance that they would have to get Eren to talk at length about what had happened.

They let him talk as he wanted, rambling and skipping details only to double back, rarely prompting him for further information; one hour turned into two turned into three. As time passed they came and went, someone always with Eren but not always all three of them. Erwin had people to make contact with and eventually sent the 104th home, though Mikasa understandably refused to leave and was given a blanket and a pillow. Hanji left a couple of times to check in with Nifa and Moblit to make sure the aftermath was handled smoothly. Levi left whenever he felt a bad coughing fit coming on.

They were approaching four hours when Eren’s shoulders began to slump, his body going slack as his physical and mental energy flagged under the strain of recollection. The three of them let him go, let him wear himself down until finally he trailed off, refusing to recount anything past the first explosion. Hanji and Erwin stood slowly; Hanji to begin loaded the recording on the camera onto their computer and Erwin to continue trying to making contact with members of their informant network. Only Levi remained at the table with Eren, gritting his teeth against the throbbing in his ankle and glaring a hole in the wall.

“I’m sorry. I –”

“What the fuck are you sorry about?” Levi cringed internally at his tone. _Yeah, that’s exactly what he needs._

“Your leg… the fact that if I hadn’t gotten kidnapped then Mike and Nanaba wouldn’t be dead.” He could see angry tears clinging to Eren’s eyelashes, ready to spill over.

“How the hell is any of that your fault?” _Oh fuck, don’t fucking cry._

“I fucking got kidnapped.” Eren’s voice rose and Levi resisted the urge to cover his ears as the increased volume began to cause a headache to throb in time with his ankle. “If I hadn’t, none of this would have happened.”

“So you’re apologizing for existing?” _Cut the shit, kid._

“ _Yes, I’m fucking apologizing for existing._ And now I want to go home and go to sleep and hope I don’t have any nightmares.” The tears that had been clinging to Eren’s eyelashes began to well over and he ducked his head in an attempt to hide them. Levi gave him the small mercy of pretending that he couldn’t see.  “I just want to see my sister and my friends and go home.”

“Little difficult there, kid. Erwin told your friends to go home about two hours ago.” Eren looked up at him in surprise, confusion evident. “Your sister’s still here though. I think she’s sleeping right now.”

“How long… how long have I been talking?”

“Probably about four hours.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Hanji will give you a ride home in a moment.” Levi got up, a white-knuckled grip on the table to ensure that he didn’t fall as he was forced to put weight on his ankle and hoping that his wincing in pain went unnoticed.

“I’m sor–”

“Oi, shut it.” He let the hardened expression on his face fall away to something that he hoped was a bit more sympathetic. “You did good, kid. Now go home and sleep.”

_You deserve it._


	82. Report

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? Precisely one year ago today (15 May 2014) I started writing ALYNA! Which means that clearly I had to get out something today after months of not updating... (-_-;)
> 
> The next chapter will be longer but this one was either going to be the short and snappy thing you see here or a lumbering and unwieldy thing that would've been 2k+ to hit all the same things.
> 
> While I've been gone someone wrote this absolutely amazing [_song_](http://dauntlesranger.tumblr.com/post/114717793096/only-human) inspired by ALYNA. Did I cry? Of course I did.

**City of Trost Police Department**

Incident Report

Date: 16 October  
Location: SW Factory Way, Trost Palisades

Incident: Report of fire and explosion at abandoned factory in southern palisades. Factory rumored to have been a methamphetamine lab; evidence points to this having been the case. Explosion likely caused by mishandled chemicals. Further investigation found remains from multiple bodies caught in the explosion. Investigation of the basement found seven people killed by gunshot wounds to the head; five male and two female, identities unknown. All seven bodies removed to coroner for autopsy. Evidence points to this being the result of an altercation between rival local gangs producing and dealing methamphetamines. No conclusive evidence pointing to any specific gangs' involvement.

Investigating Officers: R. Brown & B. Hooper

Status: Closed on 17 October, no further investigation required.

 

**City of Trost Medical Examiner’s Office**

Autopsy Report

Date: 18 October

Subject 1: Male, 5’8”, early-20s  
Cause of death: Gunshot wound, entry wound on forehead, exit wound from back of skull, bullet not found but presumed to be from a .22 caliber weapon

Subject 2: Male, 5’9”, late-20s  
Cause of death: Gunshot wound, entry wound on forehead, .22 caliber bullet found lodged in the base of the skull (no ballistics match)

Subject 3: Female, 5’9”, early-20s  
Cause of death: Gunshot wound to back of head, bullet not found but presumed to be from a .22 caliber weapon

Subject 4: Male, 5’11”, early-30s  
Cause of death: Gunshot wound to back of head, bullet not found but presumed to be from a .22 caliber weapon

Subject 5: Male, 6’1”, early-20s  
Cause of death: Gunshot wound to side of head, bullet not found but presumed to be from a .22 caliber weapon

Subject 6: Male – _Body cremated prior to autopsy due to processing error_

Subject 7: Female – _Body cremated prior to autopsy due to processing error_

 

__

**Jaeger & Bodt Kidnapping Case (SC Records)**

Note: Police investigation closed 24 hours after being opened with minimal investigation; no suspects or victims named

Site Investigation:

Sub-basement of warehouse fully intact; found three additional bodies (one male, two female)

  * Male: Gunshot wound to chest, coup de grace shot to the back of the head (both from a .22 caliber weapon)
  * Female 1: One executioner’s shot to the back of the head (.22 caliber)
  * Female 2: Gunshot to the face (.22 caliber)



Basement ceiling partially collapsed, sustained partial fire damage

  * Fire damage was isolated to two rooms; accelerants of unknown type used



Canine remains found in fire-damaged rooms along with partially-destroyed medical equipment

  * Samples taken yielded inconclusive results with basic tests; DNA analysis underway
  * Identifiable equipment included: one blood centrifuge, two automated analyzers, a variety of dissection and autopsy tools and a large quantity of syringes
  * Containers with trace amounts of thiomersal found



Police Investigation:

  *          Arson and vice divisions not involved
  *          No forensic evidence gathered besides bodies brought to ME
  *          Officers involved previously flagged for potential corruption
  *          Major pushback from senior officers on any questions being asked
  *          Official explanation is that a meth lab exploded, no evidence to support this



__

_~~Faulty information on presence of lab in warehouse;~~ second floor decoy lab rigged with explosives. Animal testing lab found in basement with canine remains. In light of what was found in the basement lab I have no reason to distrust further information gathered by informant D._

 


	83. Strange Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bridge chapters are done. Thank fucking Christ. I'm back in an arc. I'd say expect slightly more frequent updates but we're really short-staffed at work so idk.
> 
>  
> 
> [And oh shit Kale wrote a song (!!!)](http://skaletal.tumblr.com/post/119282809822/for-mybrainproblems-work-at-least-youre-not)

In spite of Mikasa’s protests Eren started classes only a day after his return, forged hospital records gripped in still-bandaged hands detailing a car accident and his admission to the emergency room at Trost General. The biology department gave him a two week extension on his formal thesis proposal and his professors excused his lab hours (with pay) for the next three. Eren’s new routine became classes, lunch with Sasha and/or Connie, classes, library, walk home with either Mikasa or Sasha. He threw himself into his work, retreating to the comfort of academic texts and lab reports to block everything else out, trying to wear himself out – in spite of Armin’s protests – to the point where he could sleep for more than a few fitful hours.

His dreams of fire and smoke and ash had been retreating for so many years, only to make a resurgence. Only now, now the nightmare wasn’t that he was being torn away from it but that he was caught, buried alive under flaming rubble. Night after night after night he woke up paralyzed, unable to speak and barely able to breathe, his heart jackrabbiting and his pulse throbbing as he stared up at the ceiling with cement limbs dragging him down.

It ate at him even after Marco came out of the coma. No amount of forgiveness or insistence from Marco that it wasn't his fault would allow Eren to absolve himself of guilt. He could see the hurt and the frustration in Jean's eyes; if they'd never had lunch Marco would be healthy and whole, not hospitalized and learning to walk again. For the first time in years they fought, not sure about what they were fighting over or why. Fists were easier when there were no more tears left to fall.

 

For the past three years Sasha and Marco had tried to get them to do a group Halloween costume and every year they had failed. The first year they had planned their group costume to be characters from The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Glinda, The Wicked Witch, Oz himself and Jean as... The Bat. The next year they had tried again - Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO, R2D2, Lando Calrissian and Jean as... The Bat. The third year Sasha had the brilliant idea of doing the Venture Bros. to begin with - Hank and Dean Venture, Brock Samson, The Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, Molotov Cocktease, Henchman 24 and Jean as... John Wayne.

This year, with the mood solemn over all of them and with Mikasa refusing to take a night off patrol there was never any suggestion to do a group costume. The nail in the coffin might have been Jean's earnest offer to go along with whatever theme they wanted to do that year.

The sun was well-set by the time they were walking over to the party – a friend of a friend of Sasha’s belonged to some society that had a house – and Eren could hear the dark pressing against them. The night sounded like many things now; footsteps light and heavy, the shrieks of children on a sugar high, the crying of frightened children, growls and snarls and jump scares. Every so often there would be the screech of tires or a shadow behind them and it was only after it passed and left him that he could feel the tension sitting in his shoulders and the breath stuck in his chest.

Even off the streets and indoors the tension didn’t lessen. It sat between his shoulder blades waiting for something to strike. The feeling lessened after the first drink set into his body; fingertips and lips abuzz and a fog quieting the thoughts of unknown eyes around him.

 

He was halfway to the bottom of his third drink when he noticed the heated and playful stare across the room. Their name escaped him – something with an A – but he could recall him working in the physics lab down the hall on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Given that Jean had disappeared and Ymir and Krista had not-so-surreptitiously gone upstairs and Connie was pleading with Sasha to _not_ introduce him to any other women at the party it was easy for Eren to slip away.

The usual ritual ensued; exchange names on the off chance it actually mattered, flirt to make intent clear, light touches to making out to heavy petting, a not-so-subtle suggestion to take things upstairs. The rest of it was slippery and sweaty with the faint scent of latex mingled in. The sound and fury of their labored breathing and moans filled the room and yet there was nothing of any significance in them; simply a primal urge for pleasure. He refused to meet the other man’s eyes, refused to look at his face as he was lost to pleasure. He didn’t care about the intimacy, he only wanted the distraction. Still, he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. The bruises and sore muscles he would undoubtedly have were deserved, the pleasure was not. Rather than give into it wholly and let it wash over him he stared off to the side, mind fuzzy as he fixated on a crack in the wall plaster and his body on autopilot.

When he came it was hollow, a physiological reaction and nothing more. He came down quickly, untangling from his partner and cleaning off best he could before getting dressed. The other man sat up and watched him, giving a low chuckle and an open invitation for a repeat performance that he already knew he wouldn’t be taking. As he walked back down stairs the feeling of cooling sweat made his skin crawl and disgust began to settle on his tongue. It didn’t take him long to find Connie clearly trying to avoid Sasha and standing next to Jean staring solemnly into an almost empty bottle, his eyes looking as empty and as lost as Eren felt.

Two drinks and thirty minutes later Eren found himself separated from everyone else again, though through no design of his own. Connie had ducked off shortly after he joined them, having spotted Sasha across the room and at some point Jean had silently left his company. Things were starting to get louder and fuzzier and narrower as he pushed closer to the wall, trying to avoid the press of bodies and feeling the crawl of grime on his skin.

He felt the wall shake as a large crash came from upstairs and sent his heart racing and his vision tunneling, his breathing becoming shallow and weighted. Looking around at everyone else he could taste the panic on his tongue; only a few other people were looking up at the ceiling in curiosity. He moved quickly through the crowd of people, not looking for anyone as he headed towards the exit – he could contact them later.

The backyard was blessedly quiet and empty compared to the house, the chill of the late October air keeping everyone inside save a few smokers now re-entering the house. They parted easily, asking if he needed a light as he passed through them. Out in the yard he sunk onto the bench next to the door and let his head fall back against the wall, willing his heart and breath back to normal as he closed his eyes and counted down from a hundred. Around sixty he felt his heartbeat become less erratic and by forty everything was beginning to even out. At twenty he stopped and dropped his head forward, watching his feet scuff at the dead leaves on the ground, a fixed point as the world spun around him. In the cold calm of the night with the October chill creeping up his spine Eren began to sober up, to become all too aware of his heartbeat and the rush of blood in his ears and the tingling false warmth on his skin. And with sobriety came the uncomfortable resurgence of his conscious mind; sick humiliation at caving to irrational panic, skin-crawling repulsion with himself for giving in to a quick fuck. He let all of it crash over him, awash in a sea of self-loathing and a desperate disgust and a desire – a need – to be dragged deeper. There was no pause, no thought, no second guess as he pulled out his phone and tapped out a quick message.

 **[Eren:]** drunk and slept with someone i dont even knoww their name

He tipped his head back, his skull hitting the wall to stare up at the empty purple velvet of the light-polluted sky, unable to identify whether the shiver than went through his body was the result of the breeze picking up or his own abhorrence for his actions. The vibration of his phone in his pocket startled him out of his own reverie of revulsion.

 **[Asshole McFuckface:]** Are you fucking shitting me?

A sickening swoop of satisfaction ran through Eren’s body at Levi’s response. If there was ever anyone who he would expect to call him out on his own short-comings it was him. He ignored the phone as it buzzed again, setting it next to him on the bench and pulling his legs up to rest his forehead on his knees. His phone buzzed again and continued to vibrate incessantly, dancing its way across the bench and finally getting his attention as it hit the ground.

**[Incoming call: Asshole McFuckface]**

“Hello?”

“You can’t just out-of-the-blue text someone that you drunkenly fucked a stranger and then ignore their follow-up texts.” Levi’s voice was gravelly and Eren winced at the bite in his tone.

“Sorry.”

“Why me?”

“Because…” Eren paused and fumbled with the words he had no desire to consciously voice. “Because I needed to tell someone who’s not going to be sympathetic and is going to tell me I fucked up.”

“So again: why me?” The bite was gone, an odd neutrality settling in its place.

“Because you already think I’m an idiot.” There was a drawn-out groan on the other end of the line followed by a thud and a soft curse.

“So you woke me up at fucking two in the morning to invite me to your little pity party?” A long pause was followed by a soft sigh before Levi continued. “What’s done is done. Just don’t do something that fucking stupid again. I’d rather not wreck myself dragging your ass out of a burning building again.”

“I’m sorry, so fucking sorry.” Eren drew his free hand up to his neck, digging blunt nails into flesh. “If I hadn’t –”

“If you hadn’t fucking _what_?” Levi cut him off sharply. “If you hadn’t gone to lunch with a friend? If you hadn’t tried to give someone directions? If you didn’t have a crappy father? If you hadn’t been born? Shit happens and unfortunately you’ve got fucking awful luck. None of this is your fault so fucking stop blaming yourself for shit.”

“It’s been a rough couple of months.”

“Understatement of the year.”

“Thanks… by the way.”

“Sure. Just don’t wake me up again to tell me you nailed a stranger because you want someone to be angry at you.”

“Sorry about that. Aren’t you usually awake at night though?”

“Off active duty for at least another month. Ankle might not be broken but it’s fucked up worse than I thought.” He ignored Eren’s pained groan and continued. “It’s not as though I’m out of the loop entirely. There’s more to being a hero than running around beating up shithead criminals. And right now… let’s just say a lot of people are keen to keep off the streets.”

“Huh?”

“Fucking… two elite heroes are dead and even if most regular people aren’t aware of it every single hero and villain knows. The Titans went from just a name to scaring the crap out of everyone. The MP, the Guard, the syndicates… they’ve all been trying to take a piece out of us for years and the new kids in the block just did more damage overnight than they’ve done _ever._ ” Eren’s lips parted in shock at the emotion in Levi’s tone; anger, frustration, concern. “Try and get your friends off the street, or at least make sure they aren’t out on their own. Even your sister and _especially_ your friend with the bow.”

“I don’t think they’ll listen but I’ll try.”

“Anyway, find your friends and go home. I’m going back to sleep.”

“Right. Um, thanks again.” He paused tentatively. “And uh, good night, Levi.”

“Night, Eren.”

Eren heard the click of the call being disconnected and stared at his phone for a moment, an odd yet not-unwelcome feeling of some semblance of peace settling over him for the first time in weeks.

 

Levi put the phone down on the coffee table and sat up, rolling his shoulders and trying to stretch out the kink in his neck. Leaning down, he picked up the knife he’d dropped earlier and stuck it back into the sheath on his belt before walking towards the kitchen, limping slightly, to make himself a cup of tea. He opened up his laptop, reading over Hanji’s notes from the past two weeks and trying to make sense of it all while he waited for the water to boil.

Sleep would not visit him again.


	84. Dead End of a Sort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said expect more frequent updates...? Well I wasn't lying.

They sat in silence. Erwin staring at one of three computer monitors, alternating between rubbing at his eyes and temples while Hanji had retreated to a corner, shuffling through a folio and making calls while scribbling down notes. Levi sat at the table, poring over a stack of papers with his leg propped up awkwardly under the table on a small box that was slightly too low to be of any real use. He didn't react when Hanji sat down heavily in their usual seat at the table, their head falling into their hands at they let out a long groan of frustration. It was only when Hanji slammed their hands down on that table that Erwin and Levi both looked up.

"Dead end?" Erwin's face was grim.

"Our network is gone. All of my contacts have gone to ground except Moblit and Nifa and they aren’t exactly plugged in to the less aboveboard activities in Trost." Hanji sighed and sat fully upright again, looked between both Erwin and Levi. "Either of you have any luck?"

"I've been trying to reach out to some of Mike's contacts but like you said: everyone's gone to ground. And on top of that I can't exactly go out at night with my fucking ankle. I'm screwed if I get backed into a corner."

"Erwin?"

"I have one I've been able to coax a little bit out of, but not very much. Nothing particularly useful now either other than that the MP and the Guard are keeping a low profile - which we already knew. The syndicates are apparently starting to pull back a bit though."

"That's nothing new. I could have told you that and I've been binge-watching Kitchen Nightmares for the past three nights."

"At least crime is down a lot?" Hanji ignored Levi's frown. "Everyone is waiting to see what happens. We're getting a chance to lick our wounds in peace.”

“So we’re just going to sit here?”

“Well _you_ are absolutely going to sit here and wait for your ankle to heal. You already messed it up worse insisting on walking on it right after.”

“What did Nifa say?” Erwin was giving Levi a look of concern.

“She said to _stay off of it._ Which I know you haven’t been.” Hanji had a challenging look on their face, daring Levi to disagree.

“What? Does she want me on crutches?”

“Yes, she wants you off it completely for the next three to four weeks.”

“That’s –”

“ _And_ ,” Hanji cut him off quickly, “she said you need to be off active duty until _at least_ December.”

“That’s almost a fucking month and a half.”

“Keep off your fucking ankle or it’s going to be longer.” Levi recoiled under the ugly glare that Hanji was giving him.

“Levi, do it. Minimum three weeks on crutches. No arguments. We’ll see after that.” Erwin abruptly turned his attention to Hanji. “Is there anyone else we can tap?”

“We’re going to scare people off if we push too hard now.” Hanji paused and frowned. “This isn’t going to be easy.”

“I’m going to work through official channels for a bit and see what we can dig up that way. Double back on our ground sources in a week or two when the dust has more or less settled.” Erwin waited for Hanji’s nod of assent before continuing. “And Levi, I want you to actually _talk_ to Nifa and see what else she wants you to do.”

“Hn.”

“I’m meeting with Commissioner Lamont as Commander Handsome in an hour so I need to get going.”

“Because now is the best time to be doing PR work?” Hanji raised an eyebrow, Levi joining them with a decidedly nonplussed look.

“Damage control. We need to keep Mike and Nanaba’s deaths from going public for as long as possible. To do that we need someone who can spin the media’s attention elsewhere. And like you said: crime is down.”

“That’s information that isn’t just going to stay with him. News has already started to filter out into the larger community. We already know Trost PD has more leaks than a sieve. You can’t seriously be thinking of handing them that sort of information on a silver platter.”

“What they said.” Levi jerked his head in Hanji’s direction.

“It’s starting to get out anyway. This way we can at least control it. Changing around some details also means we can maybe figure out where the leaks are and who they’re going to.” Erwin stood to go. “I’m heading out now. Hanji, make sure Levi isn’t an idiot and doesn’t hurt himself worse.”

Levi swore under his breath and Hanji allowed a small tired smile to sneak across their lips.

“Okay, I’m going to get crutches from upstairs and I’ll drive you home.”

“I’m not a fucking invalid.”

“You shouldn’t be driving with your ankle injured like it is. You drive a manual, you’re going to get yourself or someone else killed.”

“Fine.”

As soon as Hanji had left Levi threw the stack of papers he had been reading onto the table, a few stray pages spilling off the stack and fluttering to the floor. His shoulders sank and he allowed his body to go slack, his chin lowering to his chest. Exhaustion pulled at him and yet he couldn’t sleep. His insomnia was clawing at him worse than usual as flame and ash painted the inside of his eyelids, his breathing painful and his ankle throbbing no matter how he laid down. He straightened up and rolled his shoulders as he heard Hanji return, wincing as he stood up and rubbing at the sore muscles of his leg before taking the crutches that were being held out to him.

“You know, you’d be less sore if you fully elevated your leg and didn’t prop it up on something that low.”

“Couldn’t find anything taller.”

“There’s a chair literally across the table from you.” Levi’s eyes went to the empty chair, a melancholic frown briefly passing across his face.

“It’s just…” Levi slumped, putting more of his weight on the crutches. “It feels weird… wrong.”

“I thought Mike wasn’t anything to you besides someone you trusted?” Levi looked at Hanji as though he’d been slapped. Hanji’s face was harsh and Levi stared at them for a moment, expression oddly unguarded and regretful before he turned away sharply.

“Just take me home.”

 

There was a faint dusting of snow on Levi’s coat when he walked into headquarters. He discarded it quickly upon entry, hanging it haphazardly on the coat hook next to the door and neglecting to take off his heavy boots, tracking slush and dirt inside and earning him a raised eyebrow and a look of surprise from Erwin.

“I got Hanji’s text while I was grocery shopping; you tracked down a lead?”

“You didn’t read the follow-up one, did you?” Hanji’s expression was sour.

“We hit a rather unfortunate dead end of a sort and I don’t think we’ll be getting past this particular road block until after the holidays.” Erwin pursed his lips and his brows furrowed. “If only we’d hit on this a week earlier.”

“Want to fill me in on what the fuck you found?”

“We got a hit on Grisha Jaeger.” Levi’s head snapped to focus on Erwin. “Or rather, a source tipped us off that while the bank robbery back in October _was_ pulled off by the Titans, the money wasn’t what they were so concerned about. There was a safety deposit box at that bank registered to Grisha Jaeger.”

“And?”

“Bank records show that it was opened on August 12th of this year.” Hanji frowned deeply. “Nothing was ever deposited though. A man signed the paperwork as Hannes Schutz, but we have no idea if it was Grisha under an assumed name or someone opening it on behalf of Grisha and it’s too far back for them to have kept the surveillance tapes.”

“Hannes?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Eren mentioned knowing a Hannes, but he’s dead.” Erwin was looking at Levi with interest.

“Did you get his last name?”

“I didn’t ask, no. It’s not like it’s a common first name.”

“So we have a dead man opening a safety deposit box for a missing man.”

“So that’s our dead end?”

“No, actually.” Levi frowned at Erwin before joining the both of them at the table.

“It gets more interesting.” Hanji jumped in and pushed a file towards Levi. “The bank here in Trost has a branch in Shiganshina as well and guess what’s there?”

“A deposit box registered to Grisha Jaeger?”

“Even better. It’s registered to Grisha _and_ Eren. Opened by one Grisha Jaeger three years ago on Eren’s birthday.”

“Okay, what does that mean for us?”

“Since Eren’s name is on it we can access it. Well, Eren can.”

“So what’s the fucking issue then?” A frustrated look crossed Erwin’s face.

“They won’t release any details to us besides that. Normally there are forms you can submit – proof of identity, signed affidavit, proof of death” Levi’s eyebrows raised sharply, “–and they’ll release it to a registered courier or next of kin.”

“No dice?”

“Apparently the contract has an addendum: Grisha or Eren must be physically present in addition to other requirements that would prove their identities.”

“I’ve been on the phone with them four times under three fake names.” Hanji sighed in exasperation. “I couldn’t even find someone who’d take a bribe to tell me what the other requirements are!”

“So what are we doing?”

“I was hoping that we could speak to the bank manager, but he’s away until after New Year’s.” Erwin’s jaw clenched and released. “If we’d known a week earlier we could have caught him and…” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know, maybe showed our hand and told him that the Survey Corps needs the damn box. Christ, I wish we could take three weeks off too.”

“So you’re saying we’re shit out of luck getting them to give us the box?”

“The only consolation is that while the Titans probably figured it out first, they’re in the same situation.”

“No?” Levi looked back and forth between Erwin and Hanji, incredulity etched on his face. “ _We have Eren._ What the fuck are we sitting here for? Just grab the kid and go get the fucking box.”

“He’s taking his finals right now.” Hanji gave him a look, daring him to continue.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“Do you really think the Titans aren’t going to make a move the moment we head for Shiganshina?” Now it was Erwin’s turn to look at Levi with incredulity. “We’ll try and figure something out, but in the meantime we sit tight and we watch Eren _very_ closely. Like a _hawk_ if you will.”

“So I’m babysitting again?”

“Nifa just cleared you less than a week ago. You’ve been out for a while, ease your way back in.”

“Fuck off.”

Levi glared at Hanji, ignoring their look of concern before storming out. Mid-December snowflakes swirled around in the biting evening wind. He brushed the light dusting of snow off the windshield of his car before getting in and turning it on, pausing to take out his phone.

 **[Levi:]** Keep your eyes sharp. Don’t let your guard down.

 **[Eren (brat):]** wait what?

He threw his phone onto the passenger seat before shifting the car into gear and driving off into the night.

 

"He has a point, Erwin."

“I know, but we don’t know nearly as much as I want to before we do this. We can’t afford to have things go wrong again.”


	85. The Living and The Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that? Another update!

“So do we finally all agree that there is literally no other way to get this fucking box without Eren?”

“I wanted to exhaust every other option first. Which we _have_.” Erwin’s tone was sharp and the frustration in Levis posture released as he sat down, a cup of tea in hand.

“Thought we couldn’t get a hold of the bank manager?”

“Moblit contacted a colleague in Shiganshina. Apparently he went missing over the weekend." A grim look settled on Hanji’s face.  "He turned up in the Maria River this morning. Originally they were calling it a suicide but I doubt the man voluntarily took a long walk off a short pier with a broken leg, fractured ribs, hands tied behind his back and a face like hamburger meat. There isn't anybody who would buy that. So now they’re saying it was a mugging gone wrong, never mind the wallet with two hundred dollars still in his pocket.”

“Just like a break-in gone wrong? Four tortured and their necks snapped but nothing stolen?” Levi’s jaw clenched and a grim air settled over the three of them. It stretched out, stifling and still.

“Yeah, just like that.” Hanji’s voice was quiet, breaking the silence but not the mood. Levi tipped his head back, speaking at the ceiling.

“So we’re fucked. They got to the manager while we were trying to figure out our own shit.”

“Under normal circumstances to get to a deposit box they would have needed him alive so that he could go in and get it for them... and yet that's not what they did and nobody at the bank has seen him since he went on vacation.” Erwin leaned forward, elbows on the table and chin resting on laced fingers, a thoughtful look on his face. “I have a hunch that there’s a biometric component to Eren or Grisha proving their identities. The Titans didn’t want anyone to know what they were asking and they can’t get to it without Eren or Grisha anyway; he was a liability to them after they found out what they needed.”

“Autopsy says he spent about twelve hours in the river. His lungs had water in them which means he was still alive when he went in. So that puts it at them having him for about two days before killing him. If he’d had the ability to get them the box they would have done it then.” Hanji tapped their pen against the notepad in front of them. “So yeah, there has to be some biometric identification requirement, and not something easy to lift like a fingerprint either.”

“So let’s grab the kid and go.” He frowned at Hanji and Erwin’s exasperated looks. “What?”

“It’s December 23rd” Hanji was staring at him incredulously and a pained look went across Erwin’s face.

“And?”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. The bank is going to be closed tomorrow and the day after." Hanji raised an eyebrow. "You may hate the holiday but the rest of us would like a break and I’m sure Eren would appreciate it too.”

“And as much as I’d like to put it off until New Year’s I think it’s imperative we do this quickly.” Erwin frowned. “The sooner we do this, the sooner we can move forward.”

“You’re not giving yourself a lot of time to plan out how we’re doing this.” Levi was giving Erwin a puzzled look.

“We need to keep this operation _small_. Fly under the radar as much as possible.”

“No.” Levi’s eyes narrowed and he glared at Erwin. “Absolutely fucking not.”

“You were out on injury for a month and a half and since getting back you’ve been almost exclusively tailing Eren. You leaving for a couple days is far less noticeable than Hanji or myself leaving.”

“Besides, he likes you.” Hanji was grinning at Levi’s sour look.

“That’s my problem.”

“Fine, he’s _comfortable_ with you.”

“The two of you can talk about weird science shit.”

“Levi, enough.” Erwin gave him a stern look and Levi leaned back into his chair and dragged his hands across his face.

“Happy Birthday to me.”

 

"Let it be known that _you_ invited _me_ out for coffee.”

“Just tell me what you want and go find a place to sit.”

“Large black coffee with a splash of milk. Can I get a pastry too?” Eren met Levi’s glare with a cheeky smile.

“Just go grab a fucking table.”

The tiny café was surprisingly busy for it being the day before Christmas Eve, though Eren supposed it was mostly last minute shoppers coming in from the chilly air outside. There had been an inch of snow in the morning that was now nothing more than ugly gray slush now sluggishly disappearing down storm drains. There wasn’t an inch of pure white snow left and Eren felt himself hoping that it would melt soon, even if the dismal gray skies stayed in place at least the ground wouldn't match.

“Here.” Eren jerked around, Levi's sudden appearance from behind surprising him.

“Thanks.” He took the proffered cup of coffee and Levi moved to sit down, placing an apple tart down in front of him. “Oh, wow. I didn’t –”

“It’s a preemptive apology.”

“Apology for what?” Eren looked at him warily as he removed the lid from his cup, blowing on it to cool it down. Levi mimicked Eren, taking the lid off his tea and blowing on it before taking a sip.

“This tastes like shit. ‘Full leaf’ my ass.” He wrinkled his nose and put it to the side, sighing and pressing at his temples before continuing. “We need to go to Shiganshina.”

“The _fuck?_ ” Eren set his coffee down hard, wincing as some of the hot liquid spilled onto his hand. A man with a toddler sitting to their right glared at them. “I’m going to need a hell of a lot more than an apple tart. And an explanation.”

“There’s a bit to bring you up to speed on.” Levi brought his hands up to scrub wearily at his face. “About two weeks ago we got a tip off that the bank robbery in October _was_ the Titans but it wasn’t just for the money. There was a safety deposit box registered to Grisha Jaeger.”

“Bullshit.” The man at the table next to them made a move as though to get up and tell them off but Eren's angry glare had him retreating back to his own table. Levi got Eren’s attention again when he resumed speaking.

“We looked into it a little more and it turns out the bank has a branch in Shiganshina that _also_ has a deposit box registered to Grisha… and you.”

“Me?” Eren’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why would –?”

“We have no idea.” Levi cut him off abruptly. “What we do know is that we’ve spent the past week and a half hunting this down and they’re refusing to release the box to us.”

“Can’t I just, I don’t know… sign something?”

“Hanji kept on them about that. They wouldn’t let anything drop but there are clearly additional requirements to the usual ones. Erwin has a hunch that it’s some sort of biometric identification since they’re not budging on you needing to be there.”

“How the hell would Grisha – or _anyone_ – get my fingerprints or anything?”

“Fingerprints are easy to lift which means it’s probably something more difficult to fake. Fuck if I’d know how he would have pulled off getting anything like a retinal scan though.”

“Right. So I have to go to Shiganshina to get a deposit box from a bank. That’s kind of a trek.” Eren’s eyebrows knit together again. “Do the Titans know about it?” A frown tugged at Levi’s mouth and he looked away. “They do, don’t they?”

“Yeah, we’re finally caught up to them information-wise.”

“Finally?”

“We’ve been doing a lot of muddling around. They hit us hard. All of our sources dried up for a month and I was out on injury until two weeks ago and pretty much all I’ve done since then is tail you.”

“Yeah, thanks for that super helpful text by the way.”

“I was in a bad mood.”

“You know, you can’t just text someone to keep their guard up and not respond when they text you back.” Eren smiled sweetly as Levi narrowed his eyes at him.

“Anyway. Ideally we’ll leave the 26th and –”

“ _December_ 26 th? As in the day after Christmas?” Levi watched Eren’s hands draw into fists on the table, his voice heated.

“Yeah, I’d like to leave the 25th but –”

“So you want me to suddenly pick up and go to Shiganshina just to get some stupid fucking box – _do you even know what’s in it?_ – and you’re giving me only two days warning. Shiganshina was a _war zone_ when I left. Do you have any fucking clue what it's going to be like for me to go back?"

"I think I have an idea, yeah."

"Fuck you." It came out as a growl, Eren's face contorted slightly as he glared furiously at Levi.

"Eren, the sooner we do this the sooner we get back and you can enjoy the rest of your winter break, okay?" He refused to meet Levi's eyes, staring out the window with his jaw clenching and unclenching.

"Fine." Eren's face relaxed slightly as he turned back to look at Levi, anger still evident but ebbing. "What's the plan?"

"We leave at the ass crack of dawn on the 26th and head out immediately." He ignored Eren's groan and continued. "It's a ten hour drive without traffic but I'm betting we'll hit some because of the holiday though leaving early should minimize it. We'll stay over outside the city, hit the bank in the morning, get the fucking box and get the fuck out."

"And if I get piss drunk on Christmas?" Eren gave Levi a challenging look. "What then?"

"Sleep it off in the car since you can’t drive anyway. And if you throw up in my car I will _end_ you."

"Duly noted."

The both of them sat quietly, Eren sipping at his coffee and picking at the apple tart, vestiges of anger giving way to a contemplative silence as he stared out the window and watched holiday shoppers milling around. Levi didn't interrupt the increasingly melancholy atmosphere gathering around them, leaving silently without finishing his tea and taking the paper plate in front of Eren with him to throw out. When Eren finally turned away from the window he found himself alone, the café slowly emptying as everyone headed home.

As he walked home gentle snowflakes began to fall, the hush of gathering dark on the day before Christmas Eve pressed in around him, purpled and calm. The silence was only broken by the occasional car, tires sluicing a path through the wet slush left on the road. In spite of everything he felt calm, a sort of inner peace descending over him. He wondered if Levi was tailing him now, watchful eyes and ears out of sight as he trudged along, the dampness of remaining slush creeping up from the hem of his pants. The repetitive rhythm of his step created a sorrowful tattoo for a litany of names: Mom, Hannes, Dietrich, Jarnach, Pixis…

The tiny flakes continued to swirl in the wind and Eren watched as they alighted on his dark wool coat, the white flecks landing and melting and shimmering in the glow of the street lights. He recalled the only time he had seen snow in Shiganshina; school closed and drinking hot cocoa, he and Mikasa getting together all the blankets and cushions and building a fort and watching cartoons until their mom got back from her shift at the factory. Hannes showing up to check on them and to let them know she was going to be back late, his face flushed and smelling of cold and giving them each a small slab of chocolate and a smile before leaving again. The deep black darkness and the beautiful swirling glitter outside the windows when Carla returned, tired and with cold fingers and a weary tautness as she began to heat up leftovers.

Snow fell over Trost as it had over Shiganshina, covering in pristine white both the living and the dead.


	86. Holiday Blues (in Red)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super determined to get this chapter posted today because it's July 25th (for another 40 minutes in my time zone!) and this chapter is Christmas so like... Christmas in July or something I guess.
> 
> Unfortunately my rush means this probably isn't as well-edited as it should be but I'm out most of tomorrow so tbh I'd probably not be doing any more editing anyway.

Eren had planned to tell Mikasa about the Survey Corps’ plan after the dishes had been done and the cutlery put away. He’d insisted on finishing the last of the cleaning himself, scrubbing the kitchen spotless until Mikasa finally came in yawning to tell him she was going to sleep.

They woke up late the next day, freezing rain outside creating an eerie hiss of white noise as the tiny frozen droplets pelted the windows. Eren made coffee and pancakes, steeling himself for the inevitable while Mikasa and Armin had a “discussion” about the legality of watching a digital copy of Frosty the Snowman that was of somewhat questionable origin. Mikasa argued that street-level superhero pay was shit while Armin’s moral cortex waged a war between Marco’s coding and the entreaties of his human family. Armin finally caved when Mikasa threatened to put him into suspend rather than offend the moral sensibilities that Marco had written into his code. For all that Armin’s “brain” was zeroes and ones, those added up to very real emotions that developed the more he interacted with people and he had become as much a part of their little family as he could without a physical form.

The cartoon snowman and children were singing their final reprise of “Frosty the Snowman” when Eren finally gathered up the nerve to say anything.

“So… the Survey Corps got some new info.” Eren could see Mikasa turn to stare at him and continued to stare determinedly at the screen.

“New info?” He could hear the wariness in her voice and shifted uncomfortably.

“Yeah so it turns out that Grisha had a safety deposit box at the bank that got robbed in October and _that’s_ what they were after.” Mikasa inhaled sharply, he glanced over to her side of the couch for a moment and saw her tense posture. “So the robbery was just a screen.”

“Why is that important?” Her tone was wary.

“Turns out there’s another deposit box he has.”

“Okay…?” Her brows furrowed as she tried to puzzle it out.

“I’m listed as the co-owner.” Eren swallowed and turned to face Mikasa fully now, waiting for the question.

“And? Where is –” Mikasa’s lips parted and her eyes began to widen, her posture going slack and her voice barely a whisper. “No.”

“I don’t have a fucking choice.”

“Like hell you don’t.” Her body had tensed up and the words came out as an ugly snarl.

“If they want it I need to go and get it.”

“How about if they want it so badly they can get it for their own damn selves.”

“They tried. The bank won’t release it unless I’m physically there. They think there’s a biological comp–”

“Of _course_ there is.” The furious look on Mikasa’s face had Eren shrinking back into the couch and the pile of blankets around him. “Do they even know what’s in it?”

“No.” He cringed back as she exploded again.

“So they want you to go back to _Shiganshina_ for some stupid box and they don’t even know what’s in it?”

“Yeah.” The words came out smaller than Eren intended and yet they still provoked Mikasa further; furious tears were clinging to the corners of her eyes as she gesticulated wildly, flailing her hands.

“Do they _know_ what’s in Shiganshina? _Do they?!_ There’s nothing there except dead people! My parents, our mother, _Hannes_? Everyone is _dead._ ” Eren watched as her hands came up to her face, heard the shaky inhale hidden behind her fingers. Shifting closer, he put his arms around her and pulled her in close. The rest of her words were muffled and punctuated by the occasional steadying breath. “They’re all dead, all of them. I don’t want you to die too.”

“I’m not going to die.” His arms tightened around her. “The plan is to leave in the morning then drive all day and stay over outside of Shiganshina, hit the bank in the morning and haul ass back to Trost.”

“That’s the brilliant plan?” Mikasa pulled back and wiped her eyes, giving Eren a skeptical look. “Who came up with that one?”

“The Survey Corps.”

“And they’re going with you?”

“Well sort– um, yeah, what did you think? I’m going alone?”

“Eren, you’re a reckless dumbass sometimes. I wouldn’t completely put it past you.”

“Wow, give me some credit.”

“I’m going with you.” Mikasa stated it as a matter of fact, commanding in spite of tear drops still clinging to her lashes.

“You can’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Well why do _you_ need to go?”

“To make sure you’re safe.”

“Mikasa, _please_.”

“I am _not_ losing you.” It came out as a growl. “Not again.”

“They have a _plan_ , Mikasa.”

“Yeah and the last time they had a plan it went wrong and two of their own got killed. Pardon my lack of faith.”

“What about everyone else, huh? It’s getting _rough_ on the street. You say you don’t want me to go to Shiganshina because I might die? Ymir has a fractured wrist and Krista’s TK migraines are back because they’ve been dealing with so much shit in their patrol area. Sasha nearly had her head blown off last week by some freak who juggles bombs and knives _and he’s still out there_. Things are getting bad and you need to be here.”

“You know I hate taking sides in arguments but…” Eren and Mikasa’s heads jerked up, instinctively looking for the source of Armin’s voice and finding a speaker rather than a body. “Things are getting really rough in Trost and if Eren’s going to be with the Survey Corps then it shouldn’t be too bad. Especially if he’s only going to be gone for a day and a half.”

“See? Armin agrees.”

“Her fears are completely founded.” Eren deflated slightly at Armin’s sharp words. “You need to do exactly what they tell you.”

“Alright, alright.” He raised his hands placatingly and tried to ignore the look Mikasa was giving him. “I promise to do everything L- they say.”

“So when are they planning on doing this?”

“Uh…” Eren stared at Mikasa like a deer in the headlights, her eyes slowly narrowing the longer his silence dragged out. “The uh, the day after Christmas.”

_“What?!”_

 

Their Christmases had been quiet for years now. Things had been a bit tattered and rough after Grisha left; the wrapping paper less shiny, the dinner less sumptuous on a single factory worker’s wages. Hannes had tried, but Eren’s surly response to his attempt at celebrating the holiday as a family that first year had resulted in nothing more than a nicer than average dinner and gifts handed out unceremoniously. Eren could feel a dull ache bloom in his chest when he remembered it. Memories of that last Christmas with his mother had begun to stretch and fade with time and yet Hannes’ sad and tired eyes were seared deep in his memory, opening up the yawning pit of guilt residing at the bottom of his stomach.

And now things were quiet. No attempts at anything grandiose, just a three foot tall plastic tree on their coffee table and a string of lights running across the walls of the living room. Dinner was no different than usual and gifts were simple things; a new red scarf and a biography of Jacques Cousteau.

This year the peaceful emptiness of their shared silent solitude was stifled by the tangible tension in the air. Eren tried his best to ignore Mikasa’s intent gaze, unwilling to ignite another “discussion” about his upcoming trip. The more Eren tried to avoid sparking any sort of argument the stonier the silence became until finally the only sound left was the ending credits for Die Hard. The sun had long since gone down and the only light came from the glow of the television screen, eerie shadows flickering and stretching across the room. He watched the shadows shift and grow and shrink until one caught his eye that seemed to only be getting bigger, advancing as the others shifted and retreated. His breath caught and he felt his heart beating as though he had been running a marathon. Fear paralyzed him for a moment as he watched the shadow spread before finally he unfroze and reached quickly for the lamp next to him, turning it on quickly and blinding himself.

“What the hell, Eren?” Mikasa was squinting at him, shielding her eyes in pain. There was nothing across the room and his ears finally told him what his eyes had not; beyond the windows a truck drove by slowly, its lumbering shadow moving soporifically across the room.

“Thought I saw a mouse.” The lie came out as barely a mumble.

“Well, was it one?” He looked over at Mikasa, clearly frustrated as she glowered. “The landlord was supposed to have taken care of it two months ago.”

“It’s fine, just a shadow.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just kind of tired.”

“Well, you should get some sleep anyway. It’s midnight already and I’m not sure when you’re leaving but I’m pretty sure you aren’t getting eight hours now.”

“Getting picked up at seven. I’m going to shower, should I say good night now?”

“Yeah, probably going to sleep in a few.” They looked at one another awkwardly until Mikasa grabbed him and pulled him into an un-gentle hug, putting in effort to _not_ hold him so tightly that his face went purple. They clung to each other for full minutes, each the other’s life raft in their stormy lives.

“Okay, starting to hear my pulse.” Mikasa gave him an apologetic look as she dropped her arms and allowed him to move back.

“I should go with–”

_“No.”_

“It’s not safe.”

“Well maybe things will get more safe once we find out what’s in the box.”

“That’s a really big ‘if’ there, Eren.”

“I’m not having this argument again.”

“Sorry if I don’t want to lose my fucking _family_ again.”

“I’m going to be fine, okay? Just going to sit back and sleep in a car, sleep in probably a bed, go to a bank, sleep in a car and then I’ll be back.” Eren gave her a tentative smile. “Honestly sounds better than the past few months. I really need to catch up on my sleep.”

“Call me whenever you stop off to eat or get gas. And when you get to wherever you’re sleeping. And when you’re heading back. And when you stop to –”

“Alright, I get it.” Eren let out an exasperated sigh. “Armin will be tracking my phone anyway, right?”

“As long as you don’t go out of signal range.” Armin’s voice was admonishing and if he had a body, Eren imagined that he might be frowning.

“I’m going to be on the highway, not in the backwoods.”

“Just be careful okay?”

“I will, but how many times do I need to remind you it’s not like I’m going alone?”

“Just don’t get kidnapped again.”

“I’ve been trying to not get kidnapped again for a while now…” Eren held up his hands as Mikasa shot him a sour look. He gave her a lopsided smile in response as he stood up. “But seriously, I need to shower and get some sleep.”

“If I’m not awake when you’re leaving, wake me up to say good bye.”

“Will do.”

 

Sleep eluded him as he stared at the clock on his night stand and counted down the seconds, then minutes, then hours. There was less than an hour of nothingness before he woke up five minutes early, turning off the 4.45am alarm before it had a chance to go off. There was an unread text in his inbox timestamped from barely more than a half hour prior.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 04.13]** Text when you’re awake.

 **[Eren: 04.48]** awake now

He started to get dressed and was in the process of putting on a shirt when it hit him that he hadn’t packed an overnight bag yet. In a panic, he tried to find an empty bag quickly while remaining as silent as possible. He found a small duffle bag that he used to use for work stuffed in the back of his closet and began to haphazardly shove in clothing, hoping that he didn’t forget anything as he packed in the near-dark of his room. He checked his phone again before heading to the bathroom and saw another text from Levi.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 04.50]** On my way, be there in 15

A glance at the clock had him in an immediate panic; it was already a few minutes after five. He was in the process of grabbing his toothbrush when he felt his pocket vibrate, causing him to jump and nearly knock over Mikasa’s bottle of tangerine face wash.

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 05.06]** Outside

 **[Eren: 05.06]** 10 mins

 **[Asshole McFuckface: 05.07]** Make it 5

In the kitchen he threw a granola bar and a bottle of water in his bag, a jittery nervousness setting in as he shoved his boots on and grabbed his coat and a hat. His hand was on the doorknob when Armin called out softly.

“Mikasa is going to be furious.”

“And I don’t want to have a fight be the last thing we do before I head out.”

“Eren, you –” He closed the door behind him before Armin could finish his sentence, nearly falling down the stairs in his hurry to leave.

Outside he didn’t have to look hard to find Levi. There was only one car on the whole block that was running and it was the non-descript Honda Civic across the street, a man sitting in the car and glowering as he raised a travel mug to his lips. Eren inhaled the cold air and let out a long sigh of billowing steam before crossing the street, frost glittering under streetlights in the stillness of the dark. He had to pull hard on the car door, freezing rain from the night before giving way with a crunch. The inside of the car wasn’t much warmer than the outside given how short Levi’s drive there had been and he shivered as he sat down and pulled the door closed behind him. He threw his bag into the rear of the car as Levi shifted the car into gear and pulled away from the curb.

“You didn’t say good bye to your sister, did you?”

“What? How did you know?”

“No lights. You were trying to not wake her up.”

“I didn’t want to have another fight.”

“Kinda shitty of you.”

“What? You want to turn back then?”

“No, we’re already moving.”

“So then…?”

“Just saying it’s kind of shitty.”

Awkward silence settled over them and Eren stared out at the dead streets, islands of light pooling under each streetlight and the occasional lit up storefront of a 24 hour convenience store. Eren groaned and leaned back.

“Fine, it was shitty.” Levi remained silent as Eren shifted to look at him. “But I also didn’t want to have a fight when I got maybe an hour of sleep and probably have to leave with the both of us angry and upset. It’s shitty but it’s not the shittiest option.”

“I never said it was.”

“Fucking… do you really have to be such a dick at five in the morning?”

“I’m freezing my balls off and I have an ten plus hour drive with no change-off ahead of me. You try and be Suzy Sunshine when you’ve got that to look forward to.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” They lapsed into silence, the world around them coming to life as they left the de-populated area around Trost University. Eren felt a headache creeping up, its painful fingers pressing at his temples.

“Can we stop off for breakfast? Or at least coffee.”

“Did you miss the part where our ideal drive time is ten hours?”

“I’m not saying sit down, just a drive through place.” Levi stopped short at a light, causing Eren to jerk forward. He turned to face him, glaring and ready to tell him off when Levi turned to face him as well, his face serious.

“I have three conditions.” Levi held up a finger. “One: beverages must have a lid that does not come off _ever_.” He held up a second finger. “Two: any food consumed cannot produce crumbs under pain of death.” A third and final finger. “Three: you call your sister before she panics and flies out to track you down.”

“Deal. Just pull into the first drive through you see that serves coffee.”

“Can you wait until we’re on the highway? I don’t want to hit any fucking city traffic.”

“It’s going take ten minutes to get breakfast _and_ it’s not even six in the morning the day after Christmas.”

“Has to be on our side of the road too.”

_“Fine.”_

Fifteen minutes later, Eren had to wonder if Levi was perfectly aware that there weren’t any drive through places on their side of the street when he’d made that caveat. When they finally did stop they’d already gone ten miles on the highway and the slight twitch of Levi’s mouth confirmed Eren’s suspicion that Levi was indeed aware of how far they had to go before a drive through met his caveat.

“Fucking asshole.”

“Just order your damn coffee.”

 

There were more cars on the road when they finally pulled back onto the highway, slowing them down to the speed limit and causing Levi to frown deeply. The volume level of his “conversation” with Mikasa after getting breakfast had got him temporarily kicked out of the car and into the parking lot while Levi massaged at his temples. He’d kept the call mercifully brief and they’d been able to have a mostly-civil good bye devoid of tears or yelling which Eren counted as a win.

In the renewed quiet of the car Eren quietly ate his breakfast sandwich, not fully removing it from the wrapper and taking care not to drop any crumbs. His coffee was cool enough to drink by the time he was done eating and he drank it faster than he probably should have, the scalding liquid searing his throat as it sent a welcome heat through his body. The car was warm and his stomach full, and in spite of the caffeine Eren’s eyelids began a slow descent, his exhaustion finally catching up with him. He pulled off his coat and folded it up to use as a pillow for his head, ignoring Levi’s annoyed look as he settled against his makeshift pillow.

Sleep came over him, peace did not.


	87. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt. 4 (War)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went to write this chapter and then remembered that I outlined all of the "Fall of Shiganshina" chapters a ways back and I went digging through and uh... I wrote like 90% of this chapter in _July 2014._ As in one full year ago. Actually, slightly over a year ago given that it is 28 July 2015 and the original doc was created on 17 July 2014.
> 
> Holy balls I forgot how long I've been wanting to write this arc.

For such a small thing, a single bullet can turn an entire world upside down.

Somebody – they never found out who – decided to put that world-shattering bullet in the head of Dot Pixis.

Everybody had their guesses and nobody had any answers. It was no secret that Woerman wanted power but no, he lost control too soon. The more ruthless and power hungry pushed him out immediately as he failed to reign in the dissent. Once a pillar of stability and unity, the Stationary Guard spiraled out of control. Newer members pushed out the core founders and there was no way that Hannes and Brzenska and the rest of the old guard could ever hope to control it; without Pixis the vacuum opened and those seeking blood and money stepped up to fill that void.

It wasn’t as though there had never been drug dealers and addicts in South Stationary, but Pixis (and by proxy, the Stationary Guard) had offered a helping hand to those who needed it and raised a fist against those who profited off of misery. In the aftermath, nobody could have predicted the speed with which harder drugs entered the community and the breadth of their impact. With the old guard forced out, the new Stationary Guard saw its pockets lined thickly; what else was there to do when the jobs were scarce and the trauma of the collapse and Pixis’ death fresh in everyone’s minds.

It was only when the scope of the Guard's operations began to expand beyond South Stationary that the police began to care –the finger pointed at the residents of South Stationary as a whole.

Drug addicts and dealers.

Poor and dirty.

Immigrants who wouldn't assimilate.

A blight on their city.

 

They didn’t have a voice as the blows rained down and a simple phone call could bring in an empty paddy wagon that left full.

Conditions at the stationary factory deteriorated without Pixis to agitate and organize. Where there might have been purposeful and ordered resistance there was now pure chaos as the Stationary Guard withdrew its support. Where Pixis would have had Brzenska and Jarnach paying a visit to any major dealers with their fists at the ready, now they were allowed to flourish and grow their businesses and the police came down harder and harder.

Blades became irrelevant as the weight of shiny metal and gunpowder became common.

The alleys they used to take as shortcuts weren’t safe and Eren remembered vividly the black eye he had received when he'd tried to ignore the wall of bodies that had stood in his way as he walked back from the grocery store.

Mikasa became his indispensable shield even as she hid her abilities. Hannes was there for them until he wasn’t; their sole protector in the midst of a war they couldn’t understand and could only hope to escape. And that was what burned and burdened him, that in the wake of a tragedy the world came together only to turn on itself like Ouroboros and to have the worst escape like some horrible cancer. It came to touch all of Shiganshina and it couldn’t be tamed or contained as the world around them spiraled out of control and bled out beyond the city.

The Stationary Guard was the filth on the streets they used to clean.

They were the hands that broke rather than the ones that saved.

And it spiraled down and down until it was riot gear and service batons.

Tear gas and zip ties and it didn’t matter if you were fifteen when you looked angry.

They had every reason to look angry.

Who could guard against their former guards?

Who dared stand up in full daylight in defiance?

How do you leave when there’s nowhere to go?

 

Maria Wall collapsed in fire.

In South Stationary a Phoenix rose.

But a bullet rang out.

And then it was war.

 

In the passenger seat of Levi’s car Eren slept fitfully, shifting repeatedly as his unconscious mind thumbed through his subconscious and dredged up painful memories of days spent inside as he and Mikasa waited for Hannes to return from the Guardsman’s Pub smelling of the stale liquor he himself had given up after the collapse. Eren never asked if it was difficult to serve people what used to be his worst vice, but things changed and _he_ changed in the wake of the collapse –everyone did. Hannes had never been a particularly prideful man, but Eren had wondered what it might be like to have to serve the people who he had mentored and then been pushed out by, to serve those who called themselves Guardsmen when they guarded nothing but themselves. There had been points where he’d wondered whether Hannes bore them any ill will or reserved it for the unknown kingpin who stood at the top of the hierarchy of this brave new world that South Stationary was now subject to.

Levi gave Eren a concerned look as he shivered and let out a small whimper, not waking up as he curled up tighter and tried to huddle closer to the makeshift pillow that was his coat. Levi took off his seatbelt for a minute in order to shrug off his own coat. A shiver ran through his own body as he threw his coat over Eren’s sleeping form, watching as Eren pulled it tighter around himself, not waking as he did so.

Another shiver went through Levi.

He turned up the heat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to re-read the other "The Fall of Shiganshina" chapters they are:  
> 32\. [Collapse](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1620422/chapters/3740291)  
> 34\. [Vaccine](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1620422/chapters/3771793)  
> 46\. [Escape](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1620422/chapters/4232493)
> 
> There is also [News of the Collapse](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1646957/chapters/3744101) which is a part of The ALYNA Asides


	88. Unease

Eren woke up disoriented and alone in Levi’s car. It took him a moment to get his bearings, blinking slowly and shielding his eyes against the bright sunshine streaming through the windshield. They were stopped at gas station in a service area, Levi standing outside pumping gas into the car with a murderous look on his face as he watched the price climb higher and higher. Eren shrugged off the unfamiliar coat draped over him and pulled on his own before opening up the car door and stepping out, stretching out his limbs and letting out a satisfied groan as his neck cracked loudly.

Even though they’d only been on the road for only a few hours the weather was already starting to change. There was humidity in the air and with the above freezing temperature Eren’s skin felt damp and clammy, his winter coat a little too warm even as his fingers felt freezing cold. He stood silently and awkwardly beside the car as he tried to decide how best to get Levi’s attention. After a moment’s deliberation he decided to go for the most direct approach.

“Hey Levi, I’m going to go to the bathroom and grab something to eat. Gonna take a minute to call Mikasa too.”

“If you get any greasy fast food shit you finish it _before_ you get back in the car. Other than that –”

“No crumbs, I know.”

“And?”

“Drinks need to have lids on them.” Eren paused, a thoughtful look on his face. “What if I get a bottle though?”

“Cap it unless you’re drinking it.” He was about to turn and walk away when Levi gave him a stern look. “And don’t take forever, the traffic is starting to pick up a bit.”

“Right.”

 

The service area bathroom was cleaner than he had anticipated and there was a decent-looking sandwich place in addition to the usual greasy fast food. He pulled out his phone and steeled himself for the call he was about to make. The phone was on its last ring when Mikasa finally picked up.

“Hey.” Her tone was subdued. “I didn’t think you’d call until tonight actually.”

“You wanted me to let you know every time we stopped off.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to after this morning.”

“I was a shit. I should have told you I was leaving earlier, or at least woke you up before leaving.” Eren grabbed the sandwich from the shop employee and began to walk towards the exit. “I’m sorry, I should have been honest.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy about the whole thing. If it were _anywhere_ but Shiganshina I would be so much less worried. I trust you though and you’re with the Survey Corps. I really shouldn’t have freaked out that much.”

“So about that…”

“About _what_ , Eren?” He leaned up against the wall outside and shifted uncomfortably at the suspicion in her tone and braced for her reaction.

“It’s kind of just Levi and me.”

“I’m sorry but _what in the hell_ , Eren?”

“You just kind of assumed things and I figured you’d worry less so I didn’t correct you.”

“You have _got_ to be shitting me.” Mikasa’s tone was more exasperated than angry and Eren relaxed slightly, slumping against the outside wall.

“The whole point is to keep this whole thing quiet and under the radar. Keep it _small_.” The amused snort on the other end up the line had the remaining tension leaving his body.

“You don't have to let me know every time you stop off but just keep me up-to-date, okay? And let me know when you're stopping for the night. At least text me… call if you’re up for it?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“And be safe.”

“I do try.”

“Well bye then, enjoy shorty’s lovely company.”

“Yeah uh, I will.”

Eren ended the call and looked up to find that Levi had moved and parked the car in the lot. Even though he was at least fifty yards away Eren could tell that by Levi’s stance that he was starting to get restless waiting. He let out a long sigh as he pushed off of the wall and walked towards the other man. Levi had put his coat on and Eren suddenly felt like he’d missed a step going downstairs. He could easily recognize the coat as the one that had been draped over him when he woke up. For some reason it hadn’t crossed his mind that it might be _Levi’s_ coat and not just a random extra one laying around in the car. He stood still, not crossing the lot and hesitating on the verge of saying something but unable to figure out just what those words would be.

 

As they continued the road began to gently descend into a valley, dense misty rain closing in around them and forcing them and the traffic around them to slow down. The faint blare of sirens came from up ahead, the mist distorting the flashing lights of emergency vehicles and making the sky ahead of them look like a catastrophic light show. The blue and red began to die down as they got closer, replaced by lights that turned the air into a sickly flashing yellow. As they got closer they narrowed down from three lanes into one, their path marked on one side by the blinding red-orange light of emergency flares. It was only when they had fully merged down into one lane that they were finally able to see the cause of their delay.

From the passenger side Eren stared out the window, watching a tow truck haul a mini-van up onto the flatbed, its side crumpled in like paper. Another tow truck was nearby, its load already hauled up; a small sedan with the front nearly sheared off. The yellow flashes of the tow truck lights were the tiniest bit out of sync, disorienting as they flashed and lit up the glittering fragments of glass littered across the highway.

Levi barely spared a glance towards the wreck as they continued on, his face grim as the road opened up ahead of them, empty and swathed in gray gloom. The whispering scream of the wet wind surrounded them as the red glow of tail lights spread out and pulled away from them, disappearing into the freezing rain.

 

It was dark when they pulled off the highway, following directions to a three star motel five miles south off of the highway and twenty miles northeast of Shiganshina. Eren had tried to argue for something nicer but Levi pointed out that there was no point in spending extra money when all they were going to be doing there was sleeping and setting off again first thing in the morning. The only requirement that Levi had made as Eren searched for a decent motel on his phone was that its cleanliness had to have been remarked on in a positive manner in the past three months. Groaning, Eren thumbed through results, bypassing nicer-sounding places with more amenities but which had comments like “clean shower but there was an old water stain on the bathroom ceiling” or “smelled like mothballs but okay otherwise.” Instead, they were driving down an unlit road, the only illumination beyond their own headlights was the occasional house as they headed towards a motel described as “extremely clean, couldn’t get more than two stations on the television though.”

The building looked a bit worn but well-maintained and though it was dark, the lawn appeared to be groomed with almost military precision. Levi pulled up to the entrance, a slight frown on his face as he took in the building’s appearance. Eren hoped that Levi was on the verge of declaring that it didn’t meet his standards of cleanliness when he let out a tired sigh, dropping his head and mumbling into the steering wheel.

“Fuck it, I don’t give a shit.” It was only when he stepped out of the car and Eren saw the exhausted slump in his shoulders that he remembered that while he had spent the past fifteen hours sleeping on and off, Levi had been driving for the entire day dealing with traffic and other drivers.

He left his coat and bag in the car as he followed Levi towards the manager’s office, glancing at the less than half-full parking spaces and trying to fight back a feeling of general unease. The light in the office was a dim and yellow, the counter and décor looking at least fifty years old. He did have to admit that while the general atmosphere felt like it should reek of cigarette smoke, the only smell was some sort of cleaning product that smelled like actual lemons in the same way that grape-flavored medicine tastes like actual grapes. He stepped closer to the counter, standing on Levi's left side but drawing up a foot short of standing fully abreast of him. He stared at the back of the manager’s head, realizing that he was probably the one who maintained the lawn given the precise cut of his own hair. When the man turned around Eren decided that there was no way the man _wasn’t_ the one maintaining the lawn given his equally well-maintained facial hair and the scar slashing along his cheek down to a sharp and precise jawline.

“Place is half-empty now with the holiday over and folks headed back home.” He put some paperwork on the counter before ducking down to look for a pen, raising his voice to that he could still be heard. “Had one family with a load of bratty kids. Was glad to see them go this morning. Should be quiet now, just a few older couples.”

“Oh thank god.” The manager chuckled at Levi’s reaction as he straightened up, finally noticing Eren standing next to Levi and giving him an odd look. He held back the pen that he had been about to hand over, giving them both a hard look.

“You’re not…” He trailed off and held up a hand, his wrist going limp and his hand flopping forward. A sick feeling overcame Eren, settling in his stomach like a block of ice. Fear and nausea and anger welled up in his throat and threatened to spill over, whether it would be words or vomit he didn't know and his hands slowly curled into fists, nails digging bluntly into his palms.

“Fucking gross, he’s my cousin.” There was a disgusted look on Levi’s face and his eyes darted sideways to Eren. The manager let out a breath, looking relieved as he finally handed over the pen to Levi.

“My nephew is, but you know what they say: love the sinner, hate the sin. Had to ask, don’t want any of that unnaturalness here.”

“Hn.” Levi gave a noncommittal grunt and took the pen. Eren opened his mouth to say something as the manager turned around to go into the office and grab a key when Levi ground the heel of his boot down hard onto Eren’s foot. He barely stopped himself from letting out a pained yelp and grit his teeth as Levi shot him a look that he imagined might have been a glare had he not looked so dead and exhausted. Swallowing the angry words on his tongue, he let out a pained hiss as he tried to flex his foot, wondering if he would be limping when they finally got out of the office.

“Two beds or a bed and a pull-out?” The manager called back over his shoulder.

“What do you think?” Levi’s tone was snappish and the manager gave him an apologetic look as he returned with the key.

“Some people want to save the extra forty bucks. You can take 2E, just make a right out of here and it’s the one down at the end.”

Outside, Levi started up the car to drive the short distance to the spot in front of their room and Eren walked down the length of the building, the lights on the overhang buzzing as his hands shook as he tried to get himself under control. As he drew up to the door he saw that Levi was standing there waiting, both of their bags slung over his shoulder with his hand on the knob and an exhausted and searching look on his face.

“You gonna be okay?” Eren’s shrug seemed to be enough for Levi and he opened the door, flicking the switch and watching the fluorescent light fixture buzz and flicker as it came to life, harsh light illuminating the room and revealing hideous puke green and fuscia floral bed spreads and fake wood furniture. Levi dropped their bags on the floor unceremoniously and stepped further into the room, giving it a cursory look. “Okay, I’m going to shower now.”

Eren watched as Levi picked up his own bag again and threw it on one of the beds, pulling out pajamas and a bag with an assortment of toiletries. There wasn’t anything that he could summon the energy to do besides make sure that the door was locked and bolted behind them. Turning around, he found Levi staring at him exhaustedly.

“Just spit it out.” Eren’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to find the words that he wanted to use.

“Do you think I’m disgusting?”

“Huh?” Levi stared at him, his face twisted in confusion. “What the fuck?”

“The manager…”

“Is a bible-thumping fuckhead. Who gives a flying fuck where you want to stick it, if you want to stick it anywhere at all.”

“And if you’d walked in there and your partner was also a man?” Levi met Eren’s challenging look with a weary one. His tone was tired and soft as he spoke.

“I don't think you noticed since you were sleeping, but I fell asleep at the wheel for a mile about an hour ago. If I continued driving I probably would have killed us both so no, I wouldn’t have done anything different.” Levi reached up to brush his hair back, looking away and grimacing. “Sorry, I know it’s shitty but heroes can’t fight every injustice, every hour of the day. We’re only human.”

“I just –.”

“It’s fine.” Levi let out a tired sigh. “I’m going to shower.”

"Right.”

Eren stood still as Levi passed him on the way to the bathroom, waiting for him to leave before laying down on the bed and curling up. The damp not-quite-frozen southern winter crept under his skin and he found himself missing the dry cold of Trost; snow had lost its novelty but cold and rainy winters were nothing but misery. Shiganshina winters were damp clothes that never dried and hacking coughs that never ceased. He listened to the sputtering hiss of the shower as Levi turned it on and in spite of how much he had slept in the car his eyelids felt heavy. It wasn’t until he was startled awake by Levi’s hand on his shoulder that he realized he’d drifted off.

"Shower's free.”

“Just wanna sleep.”

“Okay.”

The space next to him was suddenly empty as Levi crossed the small strip of carpet between their beds. Eren watched him move, taking in the shower-damp hair, the wide shoulders and the muscular arms that his t-shirt revealed. Levi slipped under the covers of his bed and rolled over so that his back was to his, the blankets drawn up around him so that all Eren could see was the back of his head. After another minute of staring at Levi’s unmoving back he pushed himself up off his own bed and grabbed his own bag, pausing only to text Mikasa that they were stopped for the night before heading to the shower himself.


	89. What's in the Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting a map of Shiganshina with the next chapter. I created a rough one ages and ages ago but I want to clean it up and edit some stuff that has changed around a bit since then.

It was so dark when Eren woke up that if he hadn’t looked at the clock he would have assumed he hadn't slept at all. He could hear the patter of rain outside as he stared at the blaring red numbers of the digital clock, watching as 3.07am ticked closer and closer to dawn. Sleep began to take hold of him again, dragging him back into somnolence. They were dark dreams of shadows and narrowing hallways, dead ends and grasping hands, pounding footfalls from behind driving him forward.

He woke with a start to the buzz of a phone vibrating and dancing across the nightstand. It wasn't until his fingers touched his own unmoving phone that he fully came-to, remembering where he was and why. Across the narrow strip of floor between them Levi stirred, throwing back the blankets and blearily reaching for his phone. Eren suppressed a laugh at Levi's hair all crumpled and sticking up wildly after having gone to sleep with wet hair. Levi stared at his phone a moment longer before finally shutting off the alarm. Looking up from his phone he blinked groggily at Eren; when he spoke his voice gravelly and rough.

"That's the longest I've slept in months and I feel like utter shit." He didn't wait for a response from Eren before getting out of bed and shuffling towards the bathroom, mumbling what sounded like a long string of obscenities under his breath.

Eren sat up, rolling his shoulders and neck and listening to his spine pop and crack. After a moment of stretching out he stood up and headed towards the bathroom as well, knocking on the closed door.

"Hey, are you done? I need to -" The door opened inward suddenly and Levi poked his head out, a toothbrush jammed in his mouth.

"Gi'minute." He left the door open as he retreated back into the bathroom, his hair dripping wet, clearly having shoved his head under a faucet to deal with his rumpled hair.

"Why are you brushing your teeth before breakfast?" Eren waited for Levi to spit out the toothpaste and rinse his mouth before answering.

"Morning mouth is fucking disgusting." Levi jammed his toothbrush into a plastic case before walking past Eren and out of the bathroom, appearing much more cognizant of his surroundings.

After flushing the toilet Eren finally took a look at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was just as disastrous as Levi's had been and he followed his lead, sticking his head under the faucet and scrubbing at his head with the towel, trying to dry it as much as possible while he still had a chance. Staring at his toothbrush next to the sink he figured he might as well follow Levi's lead on that too. A knock at the door startled him and he nearly knocked over Levi's bag of toiletries which, as he looked closer, appeared to contain at least three types of lotion and two different types of toothpaste.

"Are you taking a shit? I want to shave."

"One minute."

Levi gave an approving nod to Eren's toothbrush and pulled out a plastic-wrapped mug and what appeared to be a bar of soap out of his bag. After rummaging around some more he pulled out a box that ended up containing (in separate compartments) a razor and brush. Eren watched interestedly as Levi examined his face in the mirror, the unflattering and harsh light making the dark stubble on his face stand out in even sharper contrast to his pale skin. Levi laid everything out in what was clearly a familiar ritual, waiting for the tap water to heat up and filling the mug, beginning to use the brush and soap to create a lather before brushing it across his face in slow circles. Eren couldn't help but stare at Levi with no small amount of fascination as he picked up a razor and dragged it slowly and gently down his cheek. His hand stopped as he was about to make his second stroke, eyes snapping to Eren's reflection standing behind him in the mirror.

"What?"

"I thought you'd use a straight razor."

"Why the fuck would I use a straight razor?"

"The whole badass image thing." Levi let out a short bark of laughter.

"I may be good with a blade but I'd probably slit my own throat trying to use one of those fucking things."

"Didn't think you'd use a safety razor though. I don't think I've seen anyone who wasn't collecting a pension using..." Eren trailed off, eyes widening as Levi's eyes narrowed.

"I'm twenty-nine not sixty-nine." Levi's silent glare had Eren beating a hasty retreat out of the bathroom, quickly changing out of pajamas, suddenly acutely aware of his own stubble and realizing that he'd forgotten a razor.

He was picking at his stubble when Levi finally left the bathroom, clean-shaven and looking oddly at peace. However the look only last a few seconds as he cast his gaze to Eren, frowning.

“Stop picking, that’s gross. Shave it off if it’s annoying you so much.”

“I forgot my razor.”

“Shit luck.”

“Can I borrow yours?”

“First, that’s fucking unsanitary. Second, have you ever used a safety razor?”

“I’ve shared in a pinch before.” Eren rolled his eyes at the disgusted look on Levi’s face. “I disinfected it before and after using it.”

“Still fucking gross.”

“Whatever. I haven’t used a safety razor before, I thought you had to be _at least_ fifty before you could.” He met Levi’s glare with a momentary cheeky grin before dropping it. “Is it hard to use one though?”

“Takes some getting used to. Cheaper though.”

“How so?” Eren watched as Levi rinsed his face off and patted it dry before rubbing lotion onto his face and neck.

“It’s a bit of money up front but I can buy a hundred pack of safety razor blades for the same price as an eight pack of those fancy-ass cartridge razors.”

“Oh wow.”

“But like I said, decent amount of money up front for the shaving brush and soap and handle.”

“How did you end up using a safety razor?”

“Much as I love discussing personal hygiene and grooming habits, I do want to get this shit over with." Levi turned abruptly and walked past Eren and out of the bathroom. "It’s seven now so there should be some place to grab breakfast and then we can hit up the bank and get the fuck out of here.”

Levi grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, waiting at the door while Eren collected his things from the bathroom. His hand was on the doorknob when he looked back to find Eren frowning deeply at the motel room.

“What?”

“It’s just going to be weird.”

“Going back?”

“Yeah.” Levi turned to Eren, looking at him thoughtfully.

“The bank is in Downtown. We don’t have to go anywhere near South Stationary.”

“I know, it’s just… it’s Shiganshina as a whole but also… I’m curious.” Eren’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked off to the side, focusing on something. “Maria Wall was still an empty lot when we left. I wonder if anything’s changed.”

 

Half an hour later found them sitting in a diner that catered primarily to truckers, with massive portions and a waitress who insisted on referring to Levi as “hun” and Eren as “sweetie” while chewing furiously on a piece of gum. Their waitress – Delilah, according to her nametag – caught Levi’s blunt staring at her mouth as she dropped off their food. She smiled at the both of them, opening her mouth and pointing at the gum sitting on her tongue before going back to chewing it and causing Levi to frown a bit harder.

“Sorry, it’s that gum that helps you quit smoking. It ain’t cheap, but it’s cheaper than a pack of cigs. Two weeks since I had one too.” Delilah beamed at them and Eren smiled back before glancing towards Levi, expecting a comment about hygiene.

“Congratulations, and good luck.”

“Thanks, hun.” Levi winced at the pet name and she threw her head back and laughed loudly before wiping the tears from her eyes and turning to go back to the kitchen.

They ate the rest of their food in relative silence. Their only extended conversation was them trying to think of what the bank needed as proof of identity, hoping that the biometric component wasn’t voice recognition on a phrase Eren was supposed to know and didn’t and worrying that they would want a passport and wouldn’t accept _just_ his Rose State-issued non-driver’s ID card.

“You don’t have you birth certificate with you.”

“Well _someone_ never mentioned I might need it.” Eren was glaring at Levi as he stabbed at his French toast.

“It’s a bank. Banks always want shit tons of ID. Especially when you want to take something out.”

“The only time I ever went to a bank was to get Hannes’ safety deposit box after he died. And they didn’t give a shit because they knew who Hannes was and who we were.”

“So you don’t have a bank account?”

“I do, I just didn’t set it up myself.”

“Who set up a bank account for you?”

“Some guy Hannes knew in Trost. We stayed with him about a week while he got things squared away for us. It was pretty clear it was a one-time thing for an old friend and we haven’t seen him since.” Eren tipped his head back and finished the last of his coffee. When he put it down again he was frowning. “Besides, the birth certificate is a forgery anyway.”

"Your birth certificate is a forgery?" Levi's face was blank and disbelieving.

"I don't exist, remember?" Eren gave him an annoyed look and then sat back, his brow furrowing. "I guess this is why. Hannes must have known Grisha was doing something shady and didn't want Mikasa and I getting pulled in like this."

"You do exist on paper. Your name is scattered around over informal high school records, people remember you, there's a record of you being born in Shiganshina City Hospital, who your parents were. Though I guess literally everything from Shiganshina stops after you turn seventeen. You know, your name doesn't pop up in any records we could access until you enroll at Trost." Levi paused, his eyebrows furrowing. "You said you worked a job while getting your GED. There's no record of you having a job and your GED pops up out of nowhere."

"I got paid under the table. I took classes for the GED and everything and sat the test but uh, it was a school that catered primarily to undocumented people."

"So not much of a paper trail."

"No."

"Honestly, that's pretty fucking impressive. A whole year of your life gone and not too much left before that."

"It's not like I'm a high profile person now, but there are plenty of records of me once I started at Trost: scholarship and grant, dean's list, worked on a research paper with a professor last year that got published... I'm surprised they didn't find me sooner."

"Something must have happened that suddenly made you relevant to whatever the fuck they’re doing."

 

Eren went to the bathroom while Levi paid at the counter, staring at himself in the mirror and thinking about everything that had changed in the past four and a half years. He raised a hand to brush at his stubble; that was one fairly major change. Whereas when he'd left Shiganshina it had been patchy and barely there, now he had facial hair that if left unchecked would grow into a full beard in about a week. Another change that he counted as fairly major was going from getting mediocre grades while he was in high school to likely graduating university with high honors, a feat he attributed largely to no longer falling asleep to occasional gunshots and the wailing sirens that followed too late; the sound of bar room brawls spilling out loudly onto the street; the hardened shouts of officers at innocent and guilty alike and the ensuing slam of a body against the hood of a police cruiser.

Pulling himself out of his memories, Eren leaned down to the sink to splash water on his face, resisting the urge to pick at the stubble along his jaw as he dried off using the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

Levi was waiting for him at the exit, looking relatively relaxed even as he glanced at his phone to check the time. When he noticed Eren approaching he shoved it back into his pocket and jerked his head to indicate that they were leaving.

"Thought you fell in."

"Splashed some water on my face and couldn't find anything to dry it with. Had to use my sweatshirt."

"Mm." They set off across the parking lot towards the car, Levi's gait unexpectedly slow and rambling. "It's only eight thirty."

"Doesn't the bank open at nine? It's a twenty minute drive from here so that works out, doesn’t it?"

"Just checked their site. Turns out you can't get to the fucking deposit boxes until nine thirty."

"That's bullshit."

"Any ideas for how to kill some time?" Levi glanced over the top of the car at Eren who was focused intently on his hand on the car's door handle, his jaw set. When he responded his voice was quiet.

"I'm kind of curious about what South Stationary looks like. Maria Wall was still an empty lot when I left and that was three years after..." He trailed off, frowning deeply.

"If that's what you want."

"Yeah."

They drove further south into Shiganshina, following road signs and their GPS rather than trusting Eren's memory, dulled by over four years of time. They turned off the highway at the exit for the stationary factory, passing by the dead building and the surrounding warehouses; only a skeleton crew remained though the holiday. There was trash on the streets and piled up around the gutters, soggy paper and wrappers and plastic bags. The only bottles on the street were broken ones, the whole bottles and cans having been collected by people to be redeemed. Eren remembered Hannes' downstairs neighbor – her name forgotten – who bought her grandchildren's birthday presents with the money she got from her collected recycling. She did well too; for all that South Stationary was at war with itself, nobody was so cruel as to take away from an old woman. The larger glass bottles that were worth ten cents instead of the usual five had a habit of being left untouched in the recycling bins in the blocks surrounding their building.

The building that he had never really called home – he had always referred to as _Hannes'_ apartment – was still there, looking slightly dingier but with a freshly painted front door. He didn't point it out to Levi as they passed. Eventually, familiar landmarks began to turn up and Eren began to direct Levi down streets he remembered, occasionally getting turned around as his worn memory lead them astray. Levi was patient though, making the turns that Eren asked him to without saying a word even as nine thirty drew closer and closer.

It was nine twenty-five when they finally found the street where Maria Wall used to be, Levi turning off the car as they parked across from where the building had once stood.

When Eren and Mikasa had left it had been a barren field of mud and trash. Eren didn't know what he had been expecting; the same scarred field, new public housing, perhaps a park if the world were kind. What he hadn't necessarily been expecting was for the street to have a mason jar aesthetic café and tiny specialty grocery store where he remembered a bodega they went to for milk and bread and in the summer, fruit as well. But what he truly hadn't expected was for a nearly-finished sleek brick and glass building to be in the place of that awful field, a large placard advertising the Stationary House apartments, a mixed commercial-residential building that would be largely made up of studio apartments.

"I guess it had to happen at some point since it's so close to the border and Eastside Park." Eren's hands were balled up, his knuckles turning white. "And eight years is long enough to forget over a hundred people died there. Probably got the land cheap too."

They both sat in the car, Eren's knuckles going white with how hard he was clenching his fists as he glared at the incomplete building. Levi simply sat back in his seat, a neutral expression in place. After a few minutes he let out a long sigh and started the car again.

"We should head for the bank." Eren gave a sharp nod and Levi programmed their destination into the GPS, turning around and heading towards the highway again.

 

The bank's front doors were ornate and imposing and Eren let Levi take the task of opening the heavy doors, simply following behind him into the building. The lobby of the building was just as imposing as its exterior doors; all marble floors and pillars with shiny brass fixtures. The line to speak with a representative was blessedly short and it was only fifteen minutes before they were seated in a spacious office, a heavy wooden desk between them and a chipper young woman with flaming red hair.

"So I was told you're here to look at a safety deposit box?"

"Yeah, um... these are kind of weird circumstances but -" Eren fought to keep his face neutral as Levi stepped on his foot again, but he plowed on regardless. "My father died and left behind quite the mess. I've been trying to get his affairs in order and discovered that he had a box here and that I was named a co-depositor. I'm a full-time student at Trost University and work part-time on top of that _and_ I'm doing my thesis as well so I asked a friend to call and see if it could be sent to me rather than me having to come here but whoever spoke with them wasn't particularly helpful. Oh, and my name is Eren Jaeger."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. What was the box number?" Eren swallowed as she stared at him, the number completely escaping him.

"Ten, two, three nine." Levi's words were clipped and precise.

"And you are?"

"He's my cousin. I don't have a driver's license and he was nice enough to drive me."

"And from Trost too! That's quite the distance. Okay, well my computer is saying that we need a form of picture identification in addition to... oh wow, you're in the high security vault so that's a palm print and voice recognition in addition to the photo ID." Eren handed over his ID card and she spent five minutes typing in numbers and "hmm"ing over whatever was on the screen. Finally, she stood up suddenly and smoothed out her skirt, smiling at them again. "Now if you'll follow me..."

The three of them walked out of the office, Levi trailing behind this time as Eren walked beside the woman. They walked out into the main lobby of the bank, her heels clicking and echoing as they headed across and made a right on the other side of the bank of tellers. She took out a key card and unlocked the door, ushering them through ahead of her into a blindingly white hallway lined with heavy-looking doors, cameras at ten foot intervals. At the end of the hall they came to another door that required her to use both her key card and a metal key to open it. Eren shot Levi a nervous look as the door slammed heavily behind them and they began to descend a flight of stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs they made a left into an alcove with a heavy vault door. The woman placed her hand on a scanner outside of the door and spoke clearly into a microphone – Mary Dorchester, Assistant Branch Manager – before beckoning Eren forward and asking him to state his name as well. There was a heavy clunk from the door and Mary pushed it open effortlessly, revealing yet another starkly lit white room, dead silent except for the slight buzz of the lights and the faint electric whir of a security camera pivoting.

"As you see, we take security very seriously." Mary walked over to the row of box doors and Eren was strongly reminded of when he and Mikasa had been forced to go to the morgue to identify Hannes' body. He walked over to the small door reading 10239 to stand next to Mary who then instructed him to place his palm against the small door of the box, listening to the faint click as it finished the scan and unlocked. She held the door open as Eren slid the box out, nearly tripping backwards as a result of the unexpected lightness of the metal box inside.

"Wow, um. Light." He held the large-yet-light box awkwardly in front of himself, eyes darting between Mary and Levi.

"We have two rooms off of here so that you can look at the contents of your box." She pointed towards two doors off of the room. "They lock behind you and for security reasons there are cameras in the rooms but they don't record sound. I'll wait here and when you're done we can head back upstairs."

Eren tried to shift the box into a position that would be easier to carry but there didn't seem to be a position that wouldn't be uncomfortable and wondered what someone would do if the box were heavy in addition to being so large. They shut the door behind them, Levi making sure it was locked before walking across the small room to where Eren had hefted the box up onto a low table.

"Well, are you going to open it?"

"Yeah, I just... we have no fucking clue what's in here." Eren brought his hand up to chew on his cuticles only to have Levi pull his hand away from his mouth.

"Just open the damn thing."

"You do it."

"Are you shitting me? It's your fucking box."

"Maybe I don't want to see what's in it."

"Eren, _open the fucking box._ " He quailed under Levi's glare, ducking down and lifting back the top of the metal box.

Levi stood absolutely still as Eren opened the box, waiting for him to take the first look.

"You have _got_ to be fucking shitting me." Levi's gaze snapped from the box to Eren's furious face. "It's fucking _empty_."

"Stop fucking around."

"I'm not, there's literally nothing in here." He shoved the box into Levi's chest.

Rid of the box, Eren was free to lean up against the wall, hands hanging apathetically at his sides as he tilted his head back and gazed up at the ceiling. Levi felt around inside of the box, letting out a low noise of frustration and finally tipping the box upside down, shaking it and hoping something would fall out. After a moment he too gave up and leaned against the wall, letting gravity pull him down as he slumped until he was sitting on the floor, legs splayed out in front of him and his head hanging forward.

"Well, that's that then."

"Guess we shouldn't have expected fucking _anything_ from Grisha." Eren's voice was a snarl.

"Someone might have got here before us."

"Like _who_? I'm supposedly the only person besides him who can get in here."

"Maybe he came here himself. Maybe he never put anything in here. Maybe something happened to him _before_ he could put anything in here."

"Let's just go. I've had enough of this." Eren unlocked the door and wrenched it open, barely concealing his frustration and nearly walking straight into Mary.

"Oh!" She looked up at Eren and startled back. "Is everything okay?"

"There's –" Levi interrupted before Eren could continue.

"It wasn't exactly what we were hoping it would be."

"I'm sorry." Mary looked between the two of them, her expression looking torn between a professional smile and a personal look of sympathy.

"Not exactly your fault that we didn't find what we were hoping for." Levi tried to keep his voice level in spite of his own frustration.

"Still..."

"We have a long drive ahead of us so could we just go back upstairs?"

"Yes, of course."

The walk back up was silent. There were no nerves or anticipation, only the feeling of defeat. It dragged heavy on their footsteps, Mary glancing back every so often at the two men trailing solemnly behind her. Each door that closed behind them felt like a resounding defeat; there was nothing.

Gloomy clouds were closing in on Shiganshina as they reached the car, opening the doors and settling heavily into their seats.

"I'm sorry we didn't find –" Levi stopped and looked down as Eren shoved his hand under his nose, a plain metal key sitting in his palm. "There was something in the box."

"Yep."

"And you let me believe for almost twenty minutes that I drove for fifteen hours and stayed in a crappy motel with a homophobic manager for nothing?"

"Yep."

"You little shit." Eren grinned at him and Levi couldn't help but let the corner of his mouth quirk up just a little bit. "You palmed it straight away, didn't you?"

"I figured it would be easier for one of us to pretend to be angry – and I'm good at being angry – than have both of us pretend."

"Any idea what it goes to?" The smile dropped off of Eren's face completely.

"No idea."

"Can I see it?" Levi took the key out of Eren's hand, holding the key a foot away from his face.

"Anything interesting?"

"Is there a West Street somewhere?"

"Yeah, ironically it's on the east side of Shiganshina. Why?"

"Because there's an address carved super fucking tiny on here. Does 2604 West Street, B34 ring any bells?"


	90. Pandora's Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get a map of Shiganshina posted with this chapter but Comcast is a pile of cheap dildos and idk when I'll have internet access at not-work for a while which makes adding a map difficult right now.

Neither of them spoke as they drove, the robotic voice of the GPS leading them through Shiganshina. Everything bled together with the gray skies and the post-holiday hush, the foliage-less trees and the bland streets bled together as they wound their way through local roads. It felt like an eternity passed between them turning off the highway and finding West Street, the car reduced to a crawl as it meandered down one way roads and tight, angular turns. Eventually they found themselves in front of what the GPS claimed was “2609 West Street” but looked more like an alley leading to a parallel road. 

“What the fuck? Where is it?” Eren glared at the alley as they continued on another half block before Levi parked around the corner on a side street. 

“Okay, let’s go have a look.” 

“Why didn’t you just park there?” 

“Because I don’t want it to be too obvious where we are.” 

“Okay?” 

“I just have a bad feeling.” 

“Your hawk senses are tingling?” 

“Sure, let’s take all of my knowledge and experience and distill it down to magical hawk powers.” Eren snorted quietly at Levi’s aggrieved tone. He watched as Levi reached into the backseat and pulled out a backpack, opening it up and checking the contents. 

“What’s in there?” 

“Flashlight, flares, rope, basic first aid kit... nothing special.” 

“Are you expecting that we’ll have to go spelunking in the middle of a warehouse district?” 

“That warehouse looks completely abandoned and we don’t know for how long or how shitty the inside is. I’d rather just have my kit on me to begin with than get halfway through the building and have to come back. I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to. ” 

“Okay, fair point.” 

The both of them moved forward quietly, the large building’s front doors were all chained shut, signage from both the Health Department and the Department of Public Works stating that due to water damage in the area all of the buildings had been condemned and were not to be entered under pain of arrest or heavy fine. 

“So we’re going to break in?” 

“Yeah, let me just go and get my fucking bolt cutters and welding torch from my car trunk.” Eren groaned and followed Levi as he walked towards the alley and then started to go down it. Deep disquiet settled into Eren’s stomach as the massive bulk of the buildings rose up on either side, the light dimmer in the narrow space. He caught up to Levi who had gone down a small set of steps by one of the buildings and was pulling experimentally at the handle of a door. 

“What’s up?” 

“I think this is going to give pretty quickly if I pull hard enough. It’s also going to make a fuck ton of noise. As soon as I pull, be ready to try and catch the door and not let it hit anything that might make a racket. I’ll try to as well.” 

“Okay.” Eren stood at the ready, arms out and ready to grab the door. 

“One. Two. Three.” Levi yanked on the door hard, there was the sound of something metallic giving way with a crunch and Eren threw himself between the door and the metal railing, stopping it from making a loud clang of metal-on-metal. He ended up with what he was pretty sure was going to be a nasty bruise on his shoulder and Levi staring at him, his lips pursed. 

“What?” 

“I didn’t tell you to hurl your entire fucking body at the door.” 

“You said to try and stop it from making any noise and hey, there wasn’t that much noise.” 

“Fucking idiot. Just because I have a first aid kit doesn’t mean I want to use it.” Levi turned away and started to head through the doorway, pausing briefly to turn around. “Coming or no?” 

Eren followed behind him, closing the door and feeling a chill go up his spine. They walked into a hallway, the only light was the faint outline coming in through the cracks around the door frame. Eren stuck close to Levi as he turned around, flashlight on as he scanned the space in front of them. 

“And you thought we wouldn’t need this.” 

“Fuck off.” 

The inside of the building was frigid and damp and they could both smell the mold and mildew flourishing. They walked forward slowly, the beam of the flashlight only spreading so far. At the end of the short hallway they came to another door, this one giving way with nothing more than the heavy groan of rusted hinges. Beyond it was a relatively large room and as Levi moved the flashlight around they were able to discern a large freight elevator. Moving closer they noticed a water damaged sign next to it listing what appeared to be some sort of a directory by floor. Eren hung back while Levi moved in closer with the flashlight, trying to decipher the water-damaged words. After a few minutes he moved back, pointing the beam of light up to the space above the elevator door. 

“Oh thank god.” 

“What?” 

“Here, look at the directory.” Levi moved back and turned the light towards the sign again so that Eren could read it as well. “This is elevator two which leads to B25 through B50, which from what I can tell are on the floor below us since this says we’re on level one.” 

“Looks like there’s one below that even. I guess ‘SB’ is sub-basement?” 

“Probably.” Levi swung the flashlight beam over towards the elevator again. 

“Please tell me we’re not going to take the elevator.” 

“Fuck no. I’m looking to see if there are any stairs.” 

The both of them walked around the room, staying close to the walls as they looked for a door that might lead to a set of stairs. They ended up finding a heavy door that lead to a flight of stairs on the wall directly across from where they had entered. Levi handed off the flashlight to Eren while he pulled the door open, the squeak of its hinges echoing around the room and causing the both of them to go stiff, anticipating something unknown. 

They started down the stairs, the steps somewhat slippery and the air growing fouler as they went lower. Levi caught Eren as he tripped forward slightly on a particularly slippery step. 

“Any chance you have another flashlight in your bag.” 

“Only some flares and those are blinding.” 

“Fuck.” 

“I don’t usually have another person with me.” 

They continued to move down the stairs cautiously until suddenly there was a splash instead of a damp slap as Levi stepped down. He quickly moved backwards, nearly causing Eren to slip again. Sweeping the flashlight beam across the floor revealed that the entire landing was covered in an inch of water.  

“Watch it, looks like they weren’t kidding when they said the place had water damage.” Levi shifted to illuminate the rest of the landing, the light revealing the remainder of the stairs heading down to the sub-basement to be completely underwater. He tried to suppress a shiver. “Guess we’re lucky that we’re looking for B34 and not SB34.” 

“Yeah.” It was more of a croak than a word as Eren tore his gaze away from the flooded stairs and helped Levi push on the stairway door, encountering a great deal of resistance that turned out to be various debris that had at some point ended up on the other side of the door, most likely when the flooding had receded. 

The flooding was uneven, some parts of the floor were submerged in what seemed to be three inches of water in some places whereas it was fully dry in others. Levi had the both of the skirting the hallway along the walls, not trusting the integrity of the floors now that they knew the majority of what was below them was likely to be underwater. He didn’t know how structurally sound concrete was after this sort of flooding– something he didn’t doubt Hanji would know –and he wasn’t in the mood to find out. 

There were doors along the hallway, each marked with a number. The intervals between the doors were uneven, leading them to guess that whatever rooms existed behind the doors were different sizes. They had walked almost halfway down when another hallway branched off to their right, a faded sign next to it indicating that B30 through B35 were located down that way. 

The water got deeper in the hallway and by the time they reached B34 at the end they were walking through water two and three inches deep. They had both known that Shiganshina winters were rain and damp and never dry but they hadn’t been prepared to go wading through water deep enough to be covering their shoes. Waterproof boots could only do so much when they had laces and if their socks and feet hadn’t been wet already they were now. 

And finally they were standing in front of a door with a sign readingB34 on it. 

Eren took the key out of his pocket, Levi drawing back and holding the light so that Eren could see the lock. There was something anti-climactic about it; the key slotting in without issue and the tumblers and pins all falling into place with a small click. The door hinge squeaked slightly but mostly it was just the slosh and ripple of water being displaced as Eren pulled the door open. 

The both of them moved inside the room, Eren leading the way. There was no light save their flashlight and Levi set about exploring the room, quickly finding a small lantern sitting on a heavy metal desk against the wall totheirright. Turned on it cast enough light for the entire room to be visible, if not entirely well-lit. They discovered that it was relatively small; ten feet by fifteen feet. At the far end of the room was a cot, the blanket and pillow spotted with mildew and to their left was a large shelving unit made of metal wire, its shelves almost completely filled with banker’s boxes. 

“Do you think he stayed down here?” 

“Looks like it. At least in some capacity.” 

Quietly, they got to exploring the small room, largely ignoring the bed as a result of its stench and focusing on the desk and shelves. The desk drawers turned out to be empty except for a pair of cracked reading glasses and a glob of soggy paper that had clearly at one point been a notebook. On top of the desk was what really caught their attention though. A desktop computer sat there with no peripheral equipment; no mouse or keyboard or monitor, simply the computer itself. It was old, the plastic of the large case cracked and scraped up, but the side panel – 

“Eren, hold the light a second.” Levi handed off the light and shifted his bag to pull out a multi tool and began to unscrew the casing. 

“It’s probably completely waterlogged.” 

“Somebody unscrewed the side panel at some point, you can see scrape marks on the case. Whoever it was, they were in a hurry.” With the screws out the panel came off easily, revealing a mess of wires and parts. Levi pulled the flashlight out again, getting a closer look at the tangled mess in the computer. 

“I’m going to take a look at what’s in the boxes.” Eren left his side, taking the flashlight with him. Levi sighed and turned back to the computer, moving aside wires that didn’t attach to anything. Beneath them he found something expected and unexpected. 

“Ah.” The exclamation was soft as Levi pocket the hard drive that had been packed in behind loose wires and revealed an envelope. Pulling it out, Levi could see that it had been crudely sealed against water damage in a zip top plastic bag. Holding the envelope he could make out the name on it: _Eren_. 

Levi buried both things in his backpack and put it back on, the water sloshing as he stood up fully and walked over to where Eren was sifting through boxes of what appeared to be medical records. 

“Find anything interesting?” 

“A hard drive was in there loose. If there’s anything on it Hanji should be able to handle it.” Levi paused and took a breath. “How about you? Anything interesting in here?” 

“Well, the doctor is listed as being ‘Grisha Jaeger’ on all of them so I guess either this was his storage room slash crash pad or he had a fan of his work. Pretty sure it’s not the latter.” 

“I guess we can rule out the bottom shelf as a lost cause.” Levi glanced down, the bottom shelf wasn’t too low but while the boxes weren’t currently in the water it was clear from the watermark on them that at one point they had been almost halfway submerged. “You want to pull boxes off the top shelf and look through them and I’ll take the middle?” 

“Sure.” 

They moved sluggishly as the freezing cold water soaked in and slowly crept further up their pants. Eren pulled boxes down off the top and brought them over to the desk to thumb through the files inside while Levi simply lifted off the tops and went through them on the shelves. It was difficult to read in the dim light, even Levi was slowed down considerably. They had been through less than half of the boxes now and there seemed to be nothing more than patient records; mind-numbing children’s growth charts and massive lists of illnesses suffered by elderly patients. 

“Levi? I think I found something.” Eren was holding up a folder identical to all the others from a box that looked no different in anyobvious way. Sloshing over, Levi drewup next to where Eren had put the box on the table. It looked completely innocuous except for the stamp on the side that had been facing the wall reading _The Cronus Project_. “You guys never found anything on Cronus, did you?” 

“No, not really.” 

“Well, now we have some–”Eren flipped one of the folders open and groaned. There was nothing in the folder except more patient records. 

“Fuck.” Levi’s fist slammed down on the desk. 

“Wait no,” Eren flipped through a few pages, “these are different from the others.” 

“What, does Old Man Goldfarb have a migraine _and_ the shits now?” Eren looked up from the folder and stared at him. 

“How closely have you been reading these?” 

“His first name was Levi, it stood out.” 

“Okay, well these records don’t have names on them and all the others do. I’d need to actually sit down with these and look at them properly but it looks like the first couple of pages are lab test results. I don’t recognize these sorts of tests either…” 

“Why would you?” 

“I’m a fucking marine biology major. I’ve taken a couple of toxicology classes too. I mean, it’s for fish but it’s still the same basic stuff.” 

“Well, this is all gibberish to me; Hanji might be able to make sense of it. OrNifa, she’s the one with the fucking medical degree.” 

“Okay, well we need to look for the other boxes.” 

“What?” Levi gave Eren a confused look. “What other boxes?” 

“The box says that it’s number one of three.” 

“So that's two of the remaining twenty boxes on the shelves.” Levi grimaced and turned to look at the shelves. “And we have to hope they got shoved in with the ones on the second and third shelves. Anything on the bottom shelf is gone.” 

“Well, let’s get going.” They were lucky in that the second box Levi pulled out ended up being box three of three. “Okay, we’re almost half done with the remaining ones. It shouldn’t be –” Eren cut himself off as Levi went tense and held a finger to his lips. When he spoke it was barely a whisper. 

“I think I heard something.” Eren watched as Levi removed his earplugs, closing his eyes and listening. He tried to listen for whatever Levi might have heard but all he could hear was the whooshing of his pulse in his ears. After another moment Levi opened his eyes again and breathed out slowly, his body losing some of its tension. “Just a rat. Let’s get these boxes and the hard drive back to the car first. I can carry a second if I have to but I don’t want to risk slipping and losing both boxes to this watery clusterfuck.” 

“Fair.” 

They each took a box, Levi grumbling since the size of it was a bit unwieldy for someone of a shorter stature. In spite of the added weight of the boxes they moved more quickly this time, more certain of the direction in which they should be going and focusing more on speed than silence. Lacking a free hand, they had tied the lantern from the storage room to Levi’s pack, the light swinging as he walked and creating the sort of lighting that Eren had come to associate with horror movies. 

Opening the door outside proved slightly more complicated this time given that the two of them were using both hands to hold the boxes. After a few minutes of finagling they were finally able to get it open, Levi groaning in frustration at the rain that had started while they were inside. 

“We’ll put these in the car and then we can go back and look for the third box. Shouldn’t be too difficult as long as it isn’t on the bottom shelf.” 

“If it is?” 

“We still have the majority of what was there.”  

While their feet were already soaking wet they had stayed relatively dry otherwise, but now that they were outside again with the rain again they could both feel the water soaking through their heavy sweaters, coats left in the car. Eren suppressed a smile at Levi’s mumbled curses as they walked down the alley together. They were right at the end when Levi paused, falling a step behind Eren and causing him to turn around. 

“Levi?” Eren wasn’t prepared for Levi to launch himself at him, knocking the breath out of him and sending the box of files flying as his back hit the soaking wet pavement. His eyes widened as he looked up at the pitted concrete behind where his head had been. He hadn’t heard the first shot, but he definitely heard the second ring out and watched as a small chunk of pavement a few inches from his head shattered into dust. There was a pause and a third shot rang out. Before he got to see what it hit there was a hand on his shoulder dragging him up and pulling him down the sidewalk. 

 _“Move!”_ Levi pulled Eren towards the car, sprinting and practically dragging him along, the rain picking up as they drew closer to the corner of the street where they’d parked the car. 

“Wait!” Eren stopped and yanked his arm back from Levi a few feet from the car. “We left the boxes. We have to go back.” 

“Like hell we are.” As Eren made to dash for the boxes Levi reached out and grabbed his arm, flinging him back against the car, his already bruised shoulder hitting first and causing him to wince. “I have no fucking clue who the fuck that is but whoever they are, they’re almost as good as Killshot and as far as I know, she’s still in Trost’s maximum security prison.”  

“So we’re just going to leave boxes of shit out there for them to get?” Eren stood up again, fists balled up and ready for a fight. 

“Yeah, we’re leaving them.” 

“What the fuck? We went through all of this shit to get them and we’re just leaving them there?” 

“Get in the fucking car.” Eren recoiled at the furious look on Levi’s face. “You are twenty-one and a couple boxes of fucking paper aren’t worth dying for.” 

Eren got up off the ground, his jaw set as he went to open the car door. Levi stood, watching and waiting for him to get in before moving himself. For the briefest of moments Eren was tempted to go slowly, until he heard the pounding wet slap of footsteps from around the corner. He got in quickly and heard another shot ring out, twisting around to look at what was going on behind the car and listening for anything else. The opening of the driver’s side door and Levi getting in startled Eren and he turned to stare at the other man sitting next to him breathing hard and shaking slightly, from wet and cold ornerveshe couldn’t tell. He looked like he’d fallen in a lake, which Eren realized was probably how he looked as well after he’d ended up on the soaking wet ground twice. 

“Are you okay?” Levi’s voice was hoarse as he turned on the car. 

“Yeah. What about y–” The sound of a bullet ricocheting off the back of the car interrupted him and Levi quickly put the car into gear and sped off, hydroplaning around the next corner and speeding off in the direction of the highway. 

“Eren, I need you to do a few things for me.” Levi started pulled out his phone and tossed it over. “I need you to text both your sister and Hanji and tell them we’re going dark and that I’ll call in later. You can just shut my phone off but I need you to wipe yours and we’re going to ditch it.” 

“And we’re cutting off contact with everyone because _why_?”  

“Because nobody followed us from the bank but they knew exactly where we were and they’re going to find out really fucking fast that it wasn’t just boxes of paper that we took out of that storage unit.” 

While Levi took them on one of the more harrowing drives Eren had been on he tapped out texts. 

 **[Levi:]** hanji it’s eren. levi is driving and shit happened so we’re going radio silent. we'll explain later but tl;dr we found something about cronus and got shot at but we’re okay. going to have mikasa get in touch with you. 

 **[Levi:]** levi says he’ll call and touch base later 

 **[Levi:]** ps don’t tell mikasa we got shot at 

 **[Eren:]** mikasa, i'm really really sorry but we have to cut off contact for a bit. get in touch with dr scientist, they know more 


	91. Past Tense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love every single one of my commenters and I've made some absolutely amazing friends because of people commenting on ALYNA and saying hello on Tumblr and god I love you guys and you're what keeps me writing some days but I feel like I need to remark on something.
> 
> I don't think anyone is doing this intentionally (barring a few trolls) but some of the comments recently have been leaving me feeling kind of crappy. This isn't aimed at anyone in particular but for the past few chapters I've been getting a lot of comments asking when Eren and Levi are going to get together or seemingly implying that they're reading _in spite of_ the plot and not because of it. And like, you do you but it's really frustrating and demoralizing for writers (especially slow build writers) to have people commenting asking when the pairing is "really" going to happen. I'm twenty-five and I have a thick skin but it's starting to get to me. I can't imagine how these sorts of comments would come across to a writer who is younger or less secure.
> 
> It honestly hurts to put so much effort into plotting and writing a really intricate story and having tons and tons of physical and mental worldbuilding notes... and then everyone is asking when the butt touchin' is gonna happen.  
> _______
> 
> On a lighter note, [I re-did my old map of Shiganshina](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/post/127824983019/alyna-shiganshina-finally-got-my-shit-together-and) to make it more friendly for people who aren't me.

They ended up tossing Eren’s phone out the window near a busy intersection before heading north on a road parallel to the highway bisecting Shiganshina, Levi glancing at the rearview mirror every other minute. Eren was about to make a comment about Levi being paranoid when he noticed a black sedan behind them nearly cause an accident running a red light to stay behind them and trying to pass a car on the right to move forward.

“Noticed it too?” Levi flicked a quick glance towards Eren before checking the rearview mirror and then looking back at the road.

“How long have they been behind us?”

“More than a few blocks.”

“How are you planning on losing them?”

“We’re just going to make some left turns."

Eren gave Levi a puzzled look as they continued to head north along the highway, his seatbelt locking up as they made a sharp left turn to pass over the river and then another to continue moving parallel, now heading south alongside the highway.

"If those were the lefts that were supposed to lose them then your driving is pretty shit because they're still behind us and gaining."

"I don't need a fucking back seat driver."

"I'm riding shotgun."

"Fuck off." Levi's brow was furrowed in concentration as they merged onto the highway, still heading south.

"You're going to hit a shit ton of traffic as we get closer to downtown."

"I know."

"They're getting closer."

"I fucking _know_ , Eren."

The highway started getting more congested and Levi merged left into the express lane. Eren could feel his stomach lurching as he watched the sedan getting closer, now joined by a second one as well. Both sedans caught up to their car, the original one finally passing the car immediately behind them and the second speeding up so as to be directly parallel to them in the lane to their right. Eren watched in horror as the car to their right began to move closer and the rear window was rolled down. He saw the flash of shiny metal in the masked person's hand and then –

There was a break in the concrete barrier on their left and Levi turned the wheel hard while pulling up on the emergency break, sending them drifting through the gap in the center barrier. Eren was thrown hard into the door while both sedans collided as they tried to follow moments too late, creating a snarl of traffic. Levi merged into the lighter traffic on the northbound side of the highway, slowing down slightly as he moved to the center lane.

"So that was your left turn." Eren looked slightly queasy as he leaned back against the seat. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"For someone without a driver's license you sure have a lot of fucking opinions on other people's driving."

"Well I know when someone's driving is going to get me fucking _killed_."

"If I hadn't made that turn we _would_ have been killed." Levi's voice was taut and as Eren looked closer at him he could see the tension in his body; his shoulders stiff and his knuckles white as they gripped the steering wheel. Eren's gaze followed up Levi's arm, starting at his hands and ending at his upper bicep where a dark bloom was spread out from a tear in his sweater.

"You're hurt." Levi’s eyes darted away from the road briefly, his neck bending slightly to glance at his arm.

“It’s a graze. And no, that’s not some stoic machismo bullshit. Scared the ever-loving fuck out of me but it really is just a graze.” Levi frowned, his hands clenching hard on the steering wheel before some of the tension eased out. “If it were Killshot I’d be dead.”

“So their sniper wasn’t that good?”

“Their sniper got within an inch or two of _at least_ seriously incapacitating me – if not killing me – in therain while I was _running_. Their sniper is very, _very_ good.”

“So if the weather had been nicer…”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

The both of them fell silent as Levi continued to drive, Eren staring out the window at the passing scenery as they headed north out of Shiganshina. They didn’t go far before the car's gas meter registered that they were below a quarter tank, forcing them to stop at a service plaza just outside of Shiganshina. The continued rain gave them both an excuse to put hats on, brims pulled low to cover their faces as Levi began to fill up the car. Eren ended up staying with the car while Levi went inside to pay and use the restroom, setting the nozzle back into the cradle and getting back into the passenger seat. When he looked out the window again he saw Levi coming back, his pace just shy of running. Rather than leave the plaza, Levi simply pulled over into the parking lot off to the side.

“Something happen?”

“Heard two truckers talking about how an accident fifteen miles ahead has the whole northbound side shut down. A rig jackknifed and snarled up the whole thing about fifteen minutes ago.” Eren looked at him confusedly.

“And you’re freaking out because…?”

“We pulled off our own little stunt and the southbound side is shut down as well and will be for a while.” Levi glanced over at Eren as a look of understanding began to creep across his face.

“We’re trapped.” Eren's lips parted slightly. "It's not an accident, is it?"

“Doubtful. Take out the road atlas and see if there’s anything that turns off further north. If not, we’ll head back south towards Shiganshina and see if we can pick up some other road heading out from there.”

“We can just use –fuck, no phones or GPS.”

“Yeah, we’re analog-only right now.”

“This fucking blows.”

“Just get out the atlas.”

Eren reached into the back to grab the atlas, opening it up and spreading it across the center console so that they could both look at it. He watched as Levi traced the highway with his finger, looking for a road that would take them off the main highway. After a few minutes Levi seemed to have some idea of what route they would be taking, though he didn’t share it with Eren immediately, simply starting the car up and pulling out of the plaza, crossing the overpass and heading south.

“Levi? Where are we going?”

“Picking up a couple local highways and we can connect back to a bigger one.”

“But not the Trost-Shiganshina.”

“No.”

“Where the fuck are we going then, there aren't many others…” Eren trailed off, frowning. “The only other highways around here pick up off of the Trost-Shiganshina and head west or southwest.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re heading _away_ from Trost.”

“Yeah.”

“Why the fuck are we heading away from where we need to be? There’s nothing out that way except for trees and mining.”

“I’m going to drive as far as I can down the local highway and then there's another that runs due north and hits an arterial highway going back to the Trost-Shiganshina.”

“And what, we’re supposed to lose them by being the only ones on the fucking road?”

 _“Do you have any fucking better ideas, Eren?”_ He stared at Levi, looking at the tension in his body; the clench of his jaw and his eyes darting between the road and his mirrors.

The car was silent as they drove on and turned off onto Local-20, Miner’s Road and the tense atmosphere continued to get thicker and thicker as time passed. Neither of them spoke a word to one another, Levi staring dead ahead while Eren glanced at him occasionally. There was a look on his face that it took him a while to place. It wasn’t anger and it wasn’t fear either, it was something more primal than that –the look of an animal being hunted, backed into a corner and ready to strike at anything that came near it. And Eren couldn’t help but wonder just what would happen if he were pushed to lash out.

The intervals between the small-town shopping centers along intersections on the highway slowly started to increase until Eren realized they hadn’t seen any sign of life that wasn’t another driver in over forty miles. After a while there weren’t any other smaller cars on the road either, only pick-up trucks and rigs. On the side heading back towards the main road the rigs’ cargo was made predominantly of coal and tankers of natural gas, massive tree trunks and crushed gravel. Their side of the road had some of the more interesting cargo with rigs hauling vehicles larger than themselves –massive equipment bound for the mines and quarries, some with wheels the size of small cars and with names like “Skullcrusher” painted on them. They were sleeping brown and yellow behemoths, greedy monsters ready to come to life at the will of humans, to destroy everything that stood in their paths. Eren couldn’t help but stare at them, in awe of their mechanical bulk and cognizant of the destruction they were capable of under their handlers’ control.

Although they were heading south, they were also heading into the mountains, the temperature dropping and the car's heat losing its effectiveness. Eren shivered, his clothing still wet and the heat only able to do so much to warm them. He wasn’t about to vocalize his discomfort knowing that the outcomes would be either Levi snapping at him or giving up his own coat even though he was clearly as well. For some reason, in spite of everything, he felt that the latter was more likely.

The winter sun was starting to get low in the sky and Eren watched as the sign indicating the turn-off for Dauper came and went. He had never asked Sasha exactly where her hometown was or how far it was from Trost, but as the sign came and went he had his answer; a thousand miles away and who knew how far she had to travel to get to the nearest bus station. It was at the next turn-off after Dauper that they saw signs of life along the highway rather than the claims of the signs they passed. There was a small motel set slightly back from the highway, a couple of rigs parked in the lot and a diner and gas station on the other side.

“So we’re still cousins?”

“Sure.”

“Do we have a cover story for why the hell we’re in mining country?”

“You make something up, I don’t have the energy.” Levi pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, hunching forward and taking in a deep and even breaths and letting them out in a steady rhythm.

“Let’s go with a modified version of the truth? Highway was closed and we decided to try and take an alternate route?”

“And what, we misread the distance on the map by over a hundred miles?” Levi took his hands off of his face and sat back in his seat, blinking repeatedly before letting his eyes close again. “Then again, I guess we could just pretend to be clueless city people.”

“Oh wait, there’s a reserve park here. We’re city people who want to – I don’t know – see a wild bird or something. What do you thi–?”

“I think you should do the talking because I can’t handle this shit right now.”

 

The main office of the motel was homey and smelled of fresh cut pine and kerosene from a heater over by a pair of threadbare armchairs. The woman behind the counter was older, her tawny skin reflecting the warmth of the low light in the room. When they walked in her head was bent down as she read a book placed on the counter, pushing her long dark hair behind her ear every few seconds as it slipped out and got in the way of her reading.

“Um, hello?” Eren spoke tentatively as they walked in and watched the woman’s head immediately popped up. An easy smile stretched across her face.

“Well hello there. How c’n I help ya two?” Eren was immediately and strongly reminded of Sasha and the accent she worked so hard to hide. Something about the association threw Eren off slightly and he paused briefly before responding.

“We were hoping you had a room open for the night?”

“That w’do. Almos’ empty now save a few rig drivers. Hope ya two weren’t here for the shootin’ season. Three weeks late for deer, two weeks early for turkey.”

“No, we’re here for the uh, the reserve park.”

“Oh shoot, you didn’t look it up first then.” She gave them a sympathetic look. “Park’s closed fifteen November t’fifteen March.”

“Oh.” Eren barely reacted to the news, only realizing his mistake as the woman frowned at him.

“Awful long drive out t’find out the darn thing’s closed. Ya two takin’ it well.”

“It’s been a long day.”

“I hear that. Both ya two look soaked to the skin. Been dry as a bone here t’day, must’ve come a long way.”

“Shiganshina.” Eren’s voice came out rough as he floundered, wishing that Levi would jump in and say something, anything.

“I see ya two got Rose plates on the car though.”

“We’re from Trost, visiting family in Shiganshina for the holidays and decided to make a detour.” His throat felt scratchy and dry as he swallowed, willing her to talk about anything else.

“Long trip then.” She pulled out a clipboard with some paperwork and a pen on it and set it on the counter in front of Eren before pulling out a ledger from under the counter. “I got a couple room open. Lookin’ for one or two beds?”

“Two.” It came out more forcefully than Eren had intended.

“You sure?” She was giving them a thoughtful look. "Ain't give a damn one way or other."

“We’re cousins.”

“Don’t look nothin’ alike.”

“Step cousins.” Eren heard Levi’s voice behind him, tired but firm.

“Wish my daughter was close with _her_ steps.” It came out as a disgruntled mutter.

“It’s not common but hey, here we are.” Eren gave what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug.

“Hmm, well how ya two payin’?”

“Cash.” Levi finally stepped forward, fishing his wallet out of his pocket.

“Be fifty for the night.”

“Is it an issue if we stay longer?” Eren gave Levi a sideways glance as he asked, trying not to stare too long at the shadows under his eyes or the slump in his stance.

“Never full this time the year.” She gave them a searching look, her brow furrowing a moment before relaxing and smoothing out again. “I’ve got a free two bed ‘round back. I’m about t’put in a load of pillow cases for the wash, if ya two want I can put your things in too.”

“Thank you.” Levi’s voice was a croak and the woman gave them both a soft smile.

“Name’s Irene.” She handed them a key, telling them where the room was and where they could park, never asking for their names in return.

It was nearly dark by the time they left the office, shuffling over to the car so that Levi could drive it around to the back of the motel, the car completely hidden by the rigs in the lot. The both of them grabbed their things and trudged to the door of the room, Levi locking the door and throwing the deadbolt while Eren searched blindly for the light switch.

“Well, she knows something’s up with us.”

“You think?” There was no edge to Levi's sarcasm. He leaned up against the wall for a moment, heaving out a deep sigh. “Let’s just get out of this wet shit so she can wash it.”

In almost any other circumstance Eren would have been trying to get a look at Levi to know just how muscular he was beneath his clothing, to know the lines and the curvature of his body, whether he had any scars or marks, how much body hair he had. In this circumstance however, Eren just wanted to get out of his freezing cold and soaking wet clothing. And yet there really was no avoiding look at Levi just a little bit given their proximity as he pulled his sweater up over his head and the t-shirt he wore underneath rode up as well, the wet fabric clinging together.

“Oh, you have ink?” Levi turned to stare at him like a deer in the headlights before nodding and – to Eren’s shock – lifting his shirt up so that the tattoo was visible again.

Spread across the majority of the left side of his rib cage was a cross nestled into a bed of flowers. It was spartan, only inked with a black outline without any fill or much detail. Eren had seen enough tattoos to know that while it wasn’t poor quality, it hadn't been expensive. A piece large enough to cover most of his rib cage would have cost a bit more due to its size and he assumed that the lack of detail in the design was the trade-off. He couldn’t help but think how much it would have hurt to sit for long enough to get something like that done. There wasn’t much between skin and bone and a tattoo that size wouldn’t have been a short appointment either.

“I didn’t realize you’re religious.” Eren watched as Levi’s brow furrowed in confusion as he let his shirt fall back down again to cover the tattoo. “The cross. I didn’t realize you were Christian.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh.” There was an awkward paused that stretched out between the two of them, Levi’s face fluctuating between conflicting emotions that Eren couldn’t figure out before finally settling on some sort of detached melancholy, his voice was soft and barely audible as he spoke.

“Back when I was in the Underground… I had friends, they were more like family really.” He paused for a moment, his fingers touching at the cloth covering the tattoo. “Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church. He would’ve thought the cross was funny and Isabel… I don’t think she ever saw a magnolia.”

Eren floundered around, his mouth opening and closing several times before he was finally able to get out a quiet “I’m sorry” that felt woefully inadequate.

“It was a long time ago.” There was a pause and when Levi spoke again, his voice was louder and surer. “You take the first shower. If you give me your things I’ll hand them off to Irene if you’re still in the bathroom.”

Eren grabbed his bag and brought it with him into the bathroom, shucking off his remaining wet clothing and wrapping a towel around his waist before cracking the door open and handing the damp bundle of clothes over to Levi. The heat of the shower was welcome and he could feel the tension flowing off his skin, emotional exhaustion turning physical and settling into his bones.

 _Had. Were._ Eren wrapped his mind around Levi’s tattoo and clearly long dead friends and words came echoing back to him:

_“Friends die.”_

 

Levi winced at the squeak of the tap as Eren turned the shower on, cursing the fact that he’d dropped his earplugs somewhere between the warehouse and the car and that he hadn’t thought to ask Hanji for an extra pair to bring with him. Sighing heavily, he sat down on one of the beds and opened his backpack, checking that the hard drive was safe and noting with relief that it was solid state rather than mechanical. In the process of taking the hard drive out the envelope he had also taken from the inside of the computer fell out.

The envelope was still sealed in the plastic bag, its appearance was completely non-descript and innocuous barring the person to whom it was addressed. Levi hesitated a moment as he opened the plastic bag, frowning and turning the unsealed envelope over again and again in his hands. When his hands finally stilled, there was a look of grim resolve on his face.

He opened the letter and began to read.


	92. The Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked my wifey, monsoondownpour ages and ages ago if she would draw [Levi's tattoo](http://mybrainproblems.tumblr.com/post/128194594894/i-asked-my-wifey-monsoondownpour-if-she-would) and it's amazing and wonderful and exactly like what I'd imagined it to look like.
> 
> Also I have a shameless self-promo... there's a fic I've been working on parallel to ALYNA called These Golden Hours and it's almost done so be on the look out for that. Ideally I'll start posting it in about a week and a half.

When Eren exited the shower Levi was laying back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling, a contemplative look on his face. His expression was oddly slack as he stared upwards, his usual hard look completely smoothed and blank. Levi had always given off the contradictory air of appearing younger than he was while leaving the impression that he might actually be older than you thought. Eren couldn’t help but think that perhaps at this precise moment, Levi did really look like he was on the cusp of thirty; there was the seriousness of experience and age sitting quietly behind a body that was still elastic and young. Perhaps it was the honesty of his expression, but Eren couldn’t help but feel that _this_ was the youngest he’d ever seen Levi look. It wasn’t the impression of youth, but the fact of it. Eren continued to watch him for another few minutes before realizing that Levi was completely oblivious to his presence.

“Levi?” He started and turned towards Eren, staring at him for a moment before sitting up.

“You done showering then?”

“Yeah.”

“Irene came and took our things. She said they should be done in an hour or two.”

“That’s good.”

“She recommended the diner across the highway. Apparently they have good venison hash.”

“Yeah, I could really go for something to eat.” He watched in surprise as Levi got up and grabbed the motel room key and his coat, heading towards the door. “Aren’t you going to shower first?”

“I need food more than I need to be clean. I warmed up enough after changing out of my wet clothes.”

 

The diner was cozy and warm, the hostess having sat them back near the kitchen, explaining that Irene had called over and said that a pair of frozen city folk would likely be heading over soon and sat them well away from the cold breeze that kept coming through the front door every time it opened. Eren watched as Levi visibly relaxed; their booth was tucked way such that they could see the front door but they wouldn’t be readily visible to anybody entering.

Irene hadn’t lied when she said the venison hash was good, though at this point almost anything would have tasted good so long as it was hot.

“So what now?”

“I need to call and check in with Hanji. I think I saw a payphone by the restroom.” Levi sighed and sat back. “Maybe they’ll have some ideas.”

“I’ll go over to the gas station while you do that then. I think they have a sundries shop and I’d _really_ like to shave.” He gave Levi a lopsided smile and while he wasn’t expecting amusement in return, he hadn’t expected the conflicted and concerned look on Levi’s face. “What?”

“I’d rather we didn’t split up.”

“I’m walking literally fifty yards away. Do you really think something is going to happen?” Levi looked at him, his expression solemn.

“I don’t know.”

“So I’m not allowed to go get a razor and shaving cream without your supervision?” Eren shot Levi an annoyed look and got a cold glare in response.

“They have a _sniper_ with them. We led them to what they wanted and they’ve probably already realized that the boxes of files weren’t the only thing in that room.”

A stifling silence settled over them, the clink and chatter of the other people in the diner and the shouts and clatter of the kitchen all melded together to hang in the air around their table and settle into the gap in conversation. Eren stared at his glass and watched the droplets of condensation bead up and drip down, trying to imagine what sound they might make if he could hear them and whether Levi could hear the droplets slipping down the glass. He tried to focus on the droplets rather than the feeling welling up in his chest and threatening to spill over and drown everything. Taking a deep breath, he tried to steady his voice as he said what Levi would not.

“They don’t need me alive anymore, which means I’m just in the way. Me being alive is a liability.” He couldn’t fully meet Levi’s eyes, staring at his almost-empty plate.

“If it’s any consolation, we’re _both_ liabilities right now.”

“How is that any consolation?”

“I’m commiserating. We’re both fucked right now and I was really hoping I’d live to see thirty.” Eren picked up his fork and shuffled some of the scraps on his plate around.

“I know you said before but how old are you?”

“Just barely twenty-nine.”

“Barely?”

“My birthday was the 25th.” Levi crossed his arms and scowled, daring Eren to make a comment.

“This is a pretty shitty birthday trip.”

“You’re telling me.”

 

Levi ended up letting Eren go to the sundries shop by himself while he called Hanji from the payphone in the diner. As he pushed open the polished glass of the door Eren could see Levi’s eyes trained on him with a concerned look on his face, only looking away when Hanji clearly picked up on the other end.

The fifty yard walk from the diner to the gas station sundry shop was uneventful, though Eren could feel every breath of wind and heard every shadow’s movement in that brief distance. There were two other people in the shop besides himself and the clerk at the counter; both were tall and solidly built and from the snippets of their conversation that Eren was able catch, both locals as well. He picked his way through the shelves, trying to find where they might keep razors and shaving cream, all too aware of every moment that ticked away.

He looked up sharply when he heard the bell on the front door tinkle as someone opened it, relaxing when he saw that it was just Levi entering as well. They nodded at each other and Levi walked over in his direction.

“Find what you need?”

“Almost done.”

“You have cash?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Use that.”

“I’m not an idiot.” Levi frowned as Eren grumbled.

“Sorry. I’m saying it for my own peace of mind. That way I know that you know.” Eren didn’t respond and Levi let out a low sigh. “I have a couple things I may as well get. Meet at the register?”

“Sure. What did Hanji say?”

“We’ll talk later.”

They parted from one another and Eren found the shaving supplies shortly thereafter. There wasn’t much by way of choice when it came to razors – only two three packs of disposables remained – but there were five different types of shaving cream, three of which he’d never even heard of. He went about trying to surreptitiously sniff at them, eventually deciding on one that had no words on the label, just a minimalist silhouette of a stag and a sharp smell of fresh pine needles. He wove through the shelves and grabbed a few other things before heading to the register, Levi waiting beside it having already paid for his things.

The walk back across the highway was quiet, the sharp shush of the wind punctuated by their cloudy puffs of breath glowing white under the moon. The sound of their footsteps on tar echoed in the empty blackness as they crossed the highway, giving way to soft crunching as they got to the other side and the tar gave way to grass, stiff and frosted over in the frigid evening. The warm light of the motel office was a beacon that drew them forward as a shiver went through Levi’s body, the warmth of the diner fast leaving the both of them. They were grateful when they finally reached the office and were greeted by a wave of heat. From behind the desk, Irene was staring at them with a troubled look on her face.

“What kinda trouble ya two in?” Eren watched out of the corner of his eye as Levi tensed. “Cause I jus’ had two men c’mere half hour ago askin’ ‘bout if I seen two other men come through. One of ‘em was solid built with light hair ‘n th’other taller with brown hair. Tol’ ‘em I ain’t never seen you. Did I make th’right choice?”

“I don’t know.” Levi’s voice was soft. “They’re very dangerous people and we have something they want.”

“It actually b’long ta you?”

“It was my dad’s.” She looked at Eren interestedly.

“An’ it’s somethin’ important.”

“We think so.” Eren paused and frowned. “Or at least it’s important to us and them.”

“Well, clothes‘re done.” Irene pulled a large paper shopping bag out from under the counter and offered it to Levi. “Should get some sleep.”

“Thank you.” Levi’s brow furrowed as he took the bag, giving her an odd look as he did so and receiving a sharp nod in return.

 

Their walk was silent again, Eren darting glances at Levi as his frown grew deeper and deeper. Back in their motel room Levi’s silent frown continued, an air of indecision hovered around him as he placed the bag down on top of his bed and opened it up. He stared into the bag for a moment, the tension going out of his face and posture, something like defeat and weariness settling in. He reached down into the bag and pulled out a handgun. Eren froze, staring at the gun in Levi’s hand as he considered it contemplatively.

“Apparently, _that_ is how much danger we’re in.” He tossed the gun onto the bedspread and shivered. “A woman who we’ve known for a few hours just gave us a gun. Whoever is on our tracks, they must look like bad news in a big way.”

“Levi?” They were both facing each other, Eren searching Levi’s face for something. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“There was… something I found in the computer. Besides the hard drive.”

“Okay?” Eren’s voice was uncertain as he sat down on his bed. He watched warily as Levi reached into his coat to pull an envelope from an interior pocket.

“Here.” He offered the envelope to Eren.

“It’s addressed to me.”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve read it already, haven’t you?” Eren gave Levi an annoyed look as he took the letter.

“It was in Grisha’s storage room and addressed to you, I made that tiny leap in logic where he’s the one who wrote it. I wanted to know if it was worth you reading.” He shrugged and looked away.

“And _you_ can decide if something is worth me reading?” His voice was angry as he glared at Levi.

“You already have a shit opinion of him, but would you really want to read a letter saying you’re worthless and that he’s glad he left?” Eren wouldn’t meet his eyes, looking off to the side. His voice was soft when he spoke.

“No.” He paused and dropped his head so that he was looking at the envelope resting on his lap. “How do you think I’ll feel about it?”

“It’s not going to be an easy read.” Levi’s voice was soft. “I could tell you what’s in it if you wanted me to but I think it’s best if you read it yourself.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to shower.” He waited for Eren’s nod before grabbing his things and heading to the bathroom.

Eren sat on the bed, head bowed forward as he stared at the envelope in his lap. There was nothing special about it and he noted with some cruel and disgusted satisfaction that his own name wasn’t even written by hand; just a printed out label stuck to the front of the envelope. He thumbed at the edges of the envelope, feeling the soft and fuzzied paper, noting that it wasn’t even a new envelope, wondering how many times it had been used previously and what it had been used for. When he did finally open the envelope he noted that at least the folded paper appeared to be new. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware that the shower had turned off as he finally opened the letter and began to read.

 

_Eren,_

_If you are reading this then I am already dead. I’m sure that you have a lot of questions and I can only begin to guess at what they might be. I will do my best to explain here, although I do not know how far along you’ve come. I do wish to start off with an apology though. I’m sorry that I left and that I couldn’t be there. I’m sorry that your mother is dead. I’m sorry for what you and Mikasa have had to go through and I can only imagine what you’ve had to go through recently._

_Finding this letter means that you’ve found the hard drive as well. I can only answer so many of your questions in this letter lest it be found by the wrong people. I assure you that what is on the hard drive will answer the rest of your questions._

_To be reading this I’d imagine you must have stumbled onto something with the Cronus Project. I should never have gotten involved. When I tried to leave they threatened me and when that failed, they threatened that they would harm my family. I left and continued to work on the project in order to shield you from them. I wish I could have explained, but I wanted to keep you safe. When things progressed further I disappeared and they followed through on their threat against my family. It was by their design that Maria Wall collapsed._

_I’ve never been one to be grateful for the death of others, but the chaos after Pixis died made it too difficult for them to get at you and Mikasa. You were safe in South Stationary. Hannes was not an unintelligent man and I allowed whispers of what I had been working on to reach him. He did as I hoped he would and set about erasing your and Mikasa’s lives. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to finish completely prior to his untimely end. However, it bought you time. You both disappeared completely for a year. A year in which I did my damnedest to get more than a few steps ahead of the Children of Othrys, a group you know as the Titans._

_There are three boxes of records for the Cronus Project on the storage shelf and the hard drive has the key to deciphering the information contained in those files. If you are here then you must have some powerful allies and hopefully they will be able to aid you._

_Good luck._

 

Levi was out of the shower and brushing his teeth when he heard the thud against the wall. He quickly rinsed his mouth before hurrying out of the bathroom, nerves coiled tight and ready to attack an intruder. What he found instead was Eren drawing his fist back, knuckles skinned and getting ready to punch the wall again. There was only a moment of hesitation before he stepped forward, grabbing Eren by the shirt collar and pulling him back roughly before his fist could connect with the wall again. They both stared at each other for a split second – Levi shocked and Eren furious – before Eren threw a punch at him. It caught Levi by surprise and he didn’t react in time, Eren’s right fist coming into heavy contact with his shoulder. As he pulled his arm back again Levi shoved him away roughly so that he tripped backwards onto the bed. Eren pushed himself up again quickly with a growl of frustration, swinging at Levi with his left fist. Levi was prepared this time and caught Eren’s forearm in a bruising grip, grabbing his right as well as he brought it down weakly against Levi’s chest, finally letting go when the tension left Eren’s body, his arms dropping limply to his sides.

“What the _fuck_ , Eren?” He dropped his head, refusing to look at Levi. After a moment, Eren spoke.

“Good luck.” Eren sniffed wetly. “He said ‘good luck’ figuring his cryptic bullshit out.”

“It wasn’t an easy letter to read. I should have warned you.” Levi tensed as Eren moved closer and dropped his forehead to Levi’s shoulder, letting out a sob.

Levi tensed and grimaced as Eren cried loudly into his shoulder, occasionally muttering an unintelligible word or two between shaky wet breaths. As time passed, Levi became more and more uncomfortable, uncertain of how to react to Eren’s continued tears. He could practically see Hanji rolling their eyes as he raised his arms jerkily so that his palms were resting on Eren’s shoulder blades in an awkward attempt at comfort, clumsily patting his back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. Levi continued to move his hands mechanically as they stood still, waiting for Eren’s sobs to even out into periodic sniffles, finally letting out a small sigh of relief as Eren picked his head up and backed away, wiping at his eyes.

“Sorry.” Eren’s voice was throaty and rough.

“You know, if you’d come at me like that way back when, that fight might have ended up a bit differently.” A wet chuckle escaped Eren as he scrubbed at his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have.” Eren scratched at his stubble and Levi said nothing. “I used to have awful anger management issues when I was younger. Even at the beginning of college.”

“Wow, I can’t imagine why.” Eren shook his head at Levi’s sarcasm.

“No, even before he left. Just got worse after.”

“Well, except for that little tantrum, I’d say you’re doing pretty well. I don’t think anyone would fault you for that either. Kind of a bomb to have dropped on you.”

“He said Mikasa and I were _safe_ in South Stationary.” Eren took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. “What fucking planet is he on?”

“So Grisha’s still a shitfuck. Nothing’s changed there. You just know he didn’t leave you behind just because.” Levi watched as Eren fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“He said he was sorry…”

“Great, he apologized. You aren’t required to forgive him.” Eren turned to face him. “Besides, he’s dead anyway.”

“I’m sure a therapist would say something about needing to let go of my anger.”

“Well, I’m not a therapist.” Eren turned away and smiled.

“You’d be a pretty awful therapist.”

“No shit.” Levi sat down on his own bed and rubbed at his temples.

“Oh.” Eren sat up suddenly and started going through his bag from the sundry shop. “I got you a belated birthday gift. Also as an apology for you having to deal with snipers and car chases.”

“I don’t know that a stick of gum is going to make up for nearly getting shot.”

“That was for me. Here.” Eren held a small box out to Levi. “They only had hot pink and beige and I figured you wouldn’t want them to be obvious so…”

“Thank you.” Levi’s voice was soft as he looked down at the box of earplugs in his hands.

“How bad is it?” Seeing Levi’s confused expression, Eren elaborated. “The whole super fucking acute hearing and seeing thing.”

“It was really bad when I was younger. You learn to deal with it though.” He frowned. “Not to say that I _like_ dealing with it.”

“The hearing thing I get being painful, but what about seeing?”

“Photosensitivity. Hanji can make custom earplugs and those help a lot but contacts irritate my eyes badly and glasses are more annoying than useful.”

“So you working at night… your abilities are disabilities during the day.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but yeah, it’s difficult to work when you have a fucking migraine. Thankfully most stuff happens at night anyway.”

“You’ve been working mostly during the day for a while now.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better.” Levi ignored Eren’s look of concern and stood up suddenly. Eren turned away hastily as he began to strip off the shirt that Eren had been crying on and took a clean one from his bag. “I told Hanji about a bit of what was in the letter. Mostly just the hard drive and that we lost the boxes of files.” He paused as he took his sweater out of the bag of clean laundry and pulled it over his head. “Anything beyond that is up to you.”

“And if I don’t want to tell them anything else?” He turned back to look at Levi who simply shrugged in response.

“The letter was addressed to you. I read it first because I wanted to know if it was something actually worth you reading or not.” Levi let out a sigh. “Also I wanted to know ahead of time if you were going to go completely ballistic.”

“I kind of punched you.”

“There was nothing ‘kind of’ about that.” The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched. “You can throw a good punch when you’re in the mood.”

“I used to be awful. Got my ass handed to me regularly. I don’t know how many times Mikasa had to save me when I was younger. When I met Annie in high school she taught me how to fight.” Eren smiled and let out a quiet laugh. “I could never beat her. Well, there were a lot of people I couldn’t win against, but she taught me to hold my own.”

“Annie?”

“A friend from Shiganshina. She was from South End so we only saw each other at school.” Eren paused and frowned. “She’s probably in the military now. At least, that’s what her dad wanted her to do after graduation.”

“What did she want?”

“I don’t know.”

 

They were silent the rest of the evening, exhaustion setting in deeply and making them lethargic. Before crawling under the covers, Levi moved the gun that Irene had given them, placing it on the nightstand with the heavy sound of metal on wood. They both stared at it, the symbol of just how much of a corner they’d been backed into. Finally they both crawled under the covers of their respective beds, Eren leaning over to turn off the lights while Levi burrowed in deeply and pulled the covers up over his head.


	93. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short slow interlude before we get back to the main action.
> 
> Self-promo: I started posting my new multi-chap [These Golden Hours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4894063/chapters/11223616). It will be getting far more regular updates than ALYNA given that it's already almost done and I'm working with a massive buffer. You should probably read it, especially if you want some faster ereri happening.

Fear and anger drove Eren onwards as a wave of blood approached him, eating up the splintering wooden floors and finally arcing up over him and falling, flooding the entire world in red. It was only as he walked through the blood and dripping with the same that he noticed the bodies lying down as though they were sleeping, though their eyes were wide and open. He drew closer to the woman directly in front of him, bending down closer to look at her, startling back as he recognized his mother’s face. He stumbled backwards, splashing in the blood, his mother’s blank stare following him as he tried to get up. Looking around, he realized that he knew every single one of the people lying in the endless pool of blood. He ran past them as he searched for a way out; Hannes with a bullet hole in his back, Jarnach’s body mangled from an ‘accident’ in the factory, Dietrich with a knife in his side and Ian burnt from the Molotov cocktail that just happened to go through his window. Pixis was there too, with the tidiest bullet hole he’d seen direct through his skull. And now Grisha joined them up ahead, his body collapsing down as Eren ran towards him, feeling the distance between them widening as he moved forward.

Grisha had fully collapsed by the time Eren reached him, his clothing deflating as soon as Eren touched it so that he was left kneeling with nothing more than a pile of blood-soaked cloth and a pair of glasses. He slammed his palm onto the ground, splashing blood up and soaking himself again. When the ripples finally calmed and smoothed out he found himself staring at his own reflection. It was both familiar and unfamiliar and while he felt his own face scrunching up in concentration the face in front of him stayed calm and unwrinkled, his eleven year-old self staring pleasantly at him from a pool of blood. He watched as his younger self raised their hand and he followed a moment later, mimicking their motion and raising his hand as well. As he lifted his hand a single drop of blood fell from his hand, the ensuing ripple distorting his younger self. He watched as the ripples calmed and the face reformed, now pointing and staring in horror at something behind him. A chill ran down his body as he watched his own younger self run away back into the depths of blood and he felt every hair on his body prick up. He felt more than saw the shadows drawing in towards him, pushing himself and running before he took a moment to glance back. Shadows were racing towards him faster than he could run; dark voids with mouths and rows of sharp white teeth chasing him.

He ran on, feeling the distance between them closing and ignoring the bodies as he vaulted over them, trying not to trip as he fled. A bad landing after a jump saw his ankle buckle under him and still he pushed himself onwards, his limp slowing him down more and more as he went until finally the shadows closed in around him. They hovered around him, a uniform wall of black closing in so that it was just him standing in a circle of red blood with the tooth-filled maw of the void surrounding him. And in an instant they were hurtling towards him, gripping at him and trying to tear him apart and he couldn’t even find the breath to scream and –

It took him a moment, but in the dim blue light from the alarm clock Eren could make out Levi’s face only a few inches from him and his eyes wide with concern. The grip on his forearms was hard and he could feel himself shivering in it, his throat sore as he took in deep and shaking breaths. They stayed like that for a while; Levi gripping Eren’s arms while Eren tried to calm his breathing down and ground himself. After a few minutes Levi let go and Eren sat up fully.

“Sorry if I woke you up.” Eren’s voice rasped and he paused in surprise at just how harsh it sounded.

“It’s fine.” Levi sat back so that he was perched on the edge of the bed by Eren’s legs.

“I’m used to sleep paralysis. My nightmares are usually quiet.”

“Mine aren’t.” Eren stared in surprise at the fuzzily defined shape that was Levi’s body, felt more than saw him shrug. “It’s why I don’t sleep much.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault. Do you need me to turn on a light?”

“I’m fine.” Eren went quiet and listened to his breath heartbeat, wondering if Levi could hear it as well. He felt exhausted and yet not tired as he sat with his back against the headboard, Levi continuing to sit by his legs.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Do you talk to people about your nightmares?”

“No.”

“I don’t either.”

They fell silent again and this time they both let it stretch onwards, Eren feeling the sharp fingers of his nightmare brushing him and tried his best to ignore the horror on the other side of consciousness. He focused on Levi’s weight causing the bed to dip by his legs and reminded himself that not only was someone else there, it was someone who had openly admitted to having similarly horrifying nightmares. It was yet another chip at his perception of Levi; he wasn’t a heroic figure nor was he some stoic badass. He was a twenty-nine year-old man whose superpowers were also a vulnerability, who had lost people who he loved, who was plagued by nightmares. Whoever he’d had a crush on before wasn’t really Levi, but this Levi – the one sitting beside him – was someone who he wanted to get to know. He also knew that he wasn’t going to get something in return for nothing.

“Grisha was in my nightmare. I haven’t had a dream with him in it since moving to Trost.” Eren felt Levi shift, felt his gaze turn to him. “I’m used to seeing my mom or Hannes, but not him.”

“It’s not surprising given everything.” The whisper of Levi’s voice in the dark was soothing and Eren felt himself relaxing.

“Usually it’s all smoke and fire and me being taken away before I can save my mom but this one…” He trailed off and shuddered. “There were bodies in an endless pool of blood and shadows chasing me. They had _teeth_.”

“It wasn’t real. There’s no such thing as monsters like that.” Levi’s dismissal hit Eren hard and he opened his mouth, a furious response at the ready but Levi continued. “Don’t get me wrong, the monsters in our dreams are fucking horrible but they aren’t the real monsters, just reflections.”

“I know that already but knowing that doesn’t stop me from having shitty nightmares.”

“I never said it would. I’m just trying to say; what are you more afraid of right now? Shadows with teeth or the unknown people hunting us down?”

“What the fuck do you think?” Eren watched the faint outline of Levi’s body, his head hanging forward and resting his face in his hands. His voice was muffled when he spoke.

“I’m just saying that nightmares are fucking shitty but it’s not good to think about them too much.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Every night I watch my friends die and there’s never anything I can do about it.” Levi’s posture was rigid and his voice harsh. “So yes, it’s fucking easy to say and difficult to convince yourself but maybe someday it’ll stick.”

“Does it stick for you?”

“Fuck no.”

Eren couldn’t help the amused snort that escaped him and froze up, only relaxing when he heard Levi chuckling quietly as well. He drew his legs up so that Levi could move further back to sit on the bed fully, taking solace in the other man’s continued proximity. They sat together, not speaking and letting the dark gather around them. Another few minutes passed and Levi flopped backwards onto the bed. The dim light from the alarm clock cast just enough light that Eren could see Levi's outline, the pale skin of his arms picking up the blue-ish light as he settled his hands across his stomach, his fingers interlacing as he stared up at the ceiling.

There was something comforting about Levi's presence even if neither of them spoke, reminding Eren of a watchdog sitting at the foot of a bed. In the quiet of the room he listened to Levi's breathing; the even swell and fall. Eren focused on it and felt himself grow sleepy, his eyes slowly closing and his body relaxing and curling up in bed again. Part of him wanted to keep his eyes open, to try and keep Levi company in his own sleeplessness, but exhaustion pulled him under into the dark nothingness of deep sleep.

He woke briefly as he felt the bed shift, Levi's weight lifting away and off the bed. While he couldn't see Levi he could hear him faintly, his footsteps almost silent on the carpeting but the open and close of the bathroom door was unmistakable. Eren cracked his eyes open briefly to see the thin strip of light under the door before closing them and drifting off again, asleep before the door even opened again.

The darkness was warm and comforting when he came to partial consciousness again. He curled up slightly, cuddling against the warm bulk beside him. His mind was sluggish as he hovered at the edge of wakefulness, his mind supplying a name for the comforting shape beside him –Levi. Shifting his body he managed to move closer and close the remaining gap between them, his body flush against Levi's. As he moved Levi shifted as well, Eren parting his legs slightly to allow Levi's thigh to rest between his own. As Levi pressed in close his thigh pushed upwards into Eren, pure instinct causing him to roll his hips forward slightly, rutting against Levi. As soon as the soft moan left his mouth he came to full wakefulness, ready for a swift punch to the gut.

Instead he found himself curled up around a hard decorative pillow that he had pushed to the other side of the bed earlier, his hand palming at his half-hard cock. He glanced down to the foot of the bed, his terror receding as he found it empty and looked over to Levi's bed, finding the comforting stillness of his silhouette and the deep and even breathing of sleep. Relief tinged with disappointment rushed through him as he laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to will away the hardness between his legs and failing miserably. After a moment he relented and stood up, walking quietly towards the bathroom and praying that Levi was asleep enough that he wouldn't hear the quiet gasps and hitching breath as he got himself off.


	94. Immateria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean to take a three month hiatus but here we are now, hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly now that I'm no longer as busy at work and I've also finished [These Golden Hours](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4894063/chapters/11223616). Which by the way; if you want a _completed_ slice of life summer romance (and some actual honest-to-glob ereri action) you should go check it out.
> 
> Note: The motel manager used to be named Frida but I kept confusing myself because there's a Frida in the manga and it's not the same person soooo... her name's Irene now. I've changed all previous instances about a week ago so hopefully there won't be any confusion.

Eren stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he washed his hands, annoyed with himself. It hadn’t even been Levi he’d thought of when he got off, he hadn’t thought of _anyone_. Eren found himself trying to remember the last time was that he’d actually had any desire to get off; the stress of everything and disgust with his actions on Halloween had thoroughly chased away any semblance of a sex drive. That it had suddenly made a resurgence _now_ of all times left him feeling embarrassed but at the same time he couldn’t help but remember the warm feeling that he had while he’d been under the impression that he was cuddled up against Levi. Looking down at his hands as he dried them he realized that what he had felt had been a lot more concrete than simply ‘warm’. What he had felt – for the first time in months – was _safe_.

The realization made him pause as he dried his hands and he let out a long sigh. The irony laughable; he felt the safest he had in a long time while trying to escape from unknown people with murder on their minds and accompanied by a man who kept him at arm’s length. Though he supposed that in the end it wasn’t irrational for him feel safe with Levi. While the man was hardly as powerful as Mikasa or Erwin he was experienced and his intuition and quick reflexes had stopped the both of them from getting killed at least twice since they’d left Trost. With one final glance at his reflection in the mirror he turned the light off before exiting, not wanting to wake Levi up.

When he exited the bathroom he stopped for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the light and froze as he found Levi sitting on the bed with his knees up and his elbows resting on them, his head in his hands. He looked up as Eren closed the bathroom door, his expression fuzzy and unreadable in the semi-dark. They both stayed in place, unmoving as they watched each other.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“Nightmare?”

“Honestly, I’m not even sure I slept.” Eren felt his stomach clench in horror as he watched Levi let his head tip back and dragged a hand down his face. “But I must have since I don’t remember anything before hearing the toilet flush.” Eren let out a short sigh in relief – the idea that Levi might have heard him getting off _again_ was unbearable.

“At least you slept a little? And no nightmares.”

“All I can think of is what if I’m asleep and the Titans or maybe some fucking ally of theirs comes barging in.” Eren felt his shoulders slump as it hit him that his own feeling of safety was entirely at Levi’s expense.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Don’t wander off, do as I say, learn how to drive.”

“The first two I can do. The third one…”

“Even if it turns out you can learn to properly drive a manual in a couple hours if we get pulled over you don’t have a license.”

“Can’t you play the superhero card?”

“The ‘superhero card’ doesn’t exist when you’re playing your not-so-mild-mannered alter ego.”

“We need to take a break then. You’ve been driving during daylight for three days straight. You already admitted you’re not at your best.” Eren paused and leaned up against the wall. “I’d really like to finish my degree and I can’t do that if I’m killed in a car wreck.”

“I don’t want to stay in one place for too long.”

“We can stay here a bit longer. Irene covered for us already.”

“Do you really think they aren’t going to double back when they don’t find us further down the highway?” Levi unfolded himself, leaning against the headboard and straightening his legs out. “I’m not asking a random woman we just met to cover for us again. They clearly weren’t fucking around the first time if she gave us a gun and I doubt they’ll be nicer if they show up again.”

“So we ask her if she’s okay with it. If she's okay we stay, if she isn't..."

“We leave and keep driving. We don’t stop until we’re back on a main highway again.”

"I'd really like to not die because you're too tired to drive."

"Have a little faith."

"You know, I'd really like to but you already admitted the first day that you fell asleep driving and I don't see how pushing yourself more is going to make it any better."

"The longer we stay in one place the higher the chance they find us. I want to be back in familiar territory as soon as possible. I have no idea what we're supposed to be doing and it wouldn't be a good idea to try and contact Hanji again from the same place." Levi paused and took a deep breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out. "We underestimated them, thought we had all of the pieces just about put together and now we're paying for that."

Eren stayed silent, continuing to lean against the wall as he let Levi’s words sink in. Not that he had thought the Survey Corps was infallible – hadn’t for a while now – but he was slowly realizing that they were somewhat outclassed by the Titans. They were only now stumbling into the realization that what they had been chasing for months had been in motion for _years_ and no matter how skilled any of them might be, they still weren’t holding all of the pieces in front of them. There were a number of things that Eren wanted to say then; words of concern and consolation, gratitude and empathy.

“We should get something to eat and then ask Irene about staying.”

They weren’t exactly the words that he wanted to say, and he was pretty sure most people would see them as abrupt or even tone deaf, but the fact that Levi only let out an amused huff before getting out of bed and pulling clothing out of his bag made Eren feel like what he had said was actually the right response.

 

“So then, are ya two stayin’ or goin’?” Irene looked up from the book in front of her, pages splayed out on the counter as they walked into the office, tense and yet lethargic from breakfast.

“Staying… I think.” Her eyes narrowed slightly at Eren’s hesitant tone.

“Simple question: Either yer stayin’ or yer not.”

“We want to but…” Eren paused frowned. “But you covered for us once already. If you want us gone, we’re gone.”

She watched them with a hard look on her face, eyes narrowed and sharp as she looked at them. Some unidentifiable emotion flitted across her face a moment as she looked back and forth between then, analyzing not just their faces but their bodies as well. Her eyes followed their limbs, taking in the nervous tension of Eren’s clenched fists and the slack exhaustion of Levi’s slumped posture. Whatever she was looking for she seemed to find it and after a moment of consideration her face relaxed slightly, curiosity replacing the earlier hard expression.

“So are ya two heroes or what?” She raised an eyebrow as the both of them stiffened in shock. “I live in th’sticks but don’t take me f’r a dumb hick, ‘m not an idiot.”

Eren dropped his gaze to the floor, looking at his feet and noting the stains from the dirty water they had slogged through just the day before. He could feel Irene’s stare taking in his body, reading small clues that he wasn’t even aware of. After one minute of silence was followed by another he realized that neither he nor Levi had responded, that their silence really said just about as much as any words could.

“Well, you certainly don’t look like the _un_ heroic type.” Eren’s head jerked up; Irene’s voice had lost its slow drawl and turned sharper, vowels trimmed and consonants summoned back into existence. There was a sudden vice-like constriction around his heart and he could see Levi’s posture stiffen and his face go even paler than before. The briefest look of shock flitted across Levi’s face before it hardened into something more suspicious and confrontational.

“And who the fuck are you?”

“Irene, the simple manager of a motel in Dauper.”

“But that’s not all.” The spasmodic twitch of Levi’s curled fingers caught Eren’s attention. He had been curious earlier what Levi might do if pushed to lash out in defense and he couldn’t help but wonder if he would be getting an answer to that question shortly.

“No, it isn’t.” She frowned and closed her book, folding her hands on top in plain sight. “I moved back to Dauper twenty years ago but I lived in Shiganshina for ten years. I wasn’t really Irene all that much there.”

“So who were you?” Eren’s voice came out cracked and dry and almost unidentifiable to himself.

“Sometimes Irene, mostly Madam Immateria.”

“Oh.” Some of the tension drained out of Eren’s body. Of course a former hero would recognize people as being in the same line of work. He relaxed slightly and turned to Levi, surprised that if anything, Levi’s body had tensed up even more.

“I was a bit young then but I definitely fucking remember hearing the name ‘Immateria’ when I was a kid. Can’t say there was anything particularly heroic about your body count.” Levi’s eyes were hard and Eren caught the words he needed to revise his earlier assumption. A villain would be just as capable of identifying a hero, if not moreso.

“And your hands are clean?”

“I’ve never killed fifty people with the wave of my hand.” Cold washed over Eren at Levi’s words and he took a cautious step back, eyes focused on the woman in front of him and the sudden anger in her eyes.

“Thirty. Those pigs killed my brother. They deserved everything they got.” Her voice was a snarl, her fury tangible as the room trembled.

“Yeah.” To Eren’s surprise, Levi’s posture slackened and his shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, I get that.”

They were all silent now with even breathing and even heartbeats. The electric tension in the room dissipated and it was like everything has stopped moving, that time had stopped. Part of Eren wanted to think that those tremors had been his imagination – that fear and lack of sleep had finally caught up – but he could see things ever-so-slightly out of place. There was no reason for there to be a splash of coffee on the counter or a pair of pencils on the floor and yet there they were.

Of all the powers he’d ever seen or heard of, the one that truly left him in awe wasn’t flight or superhuman strength, not even shapeshifting. Without her regalia to focus her powers Krista could barely do more than stop a coffee cup from falling, nevermind cause an entire room to tremble with anger. Instincts were telling him that out of fight or flight, the latter was the best option, that Levi was correct in saying they couldn’t stay here. But Levi seemed more at ease now than he had fifteen minutes ago and Eren wasn’t about to discount his instincts. His faith and trust however, only extended to the man beside him.

“So why did you cover for us?” He felt Irene’s gaze slide to him.

“I’m retired and this clearly isn’t my fight. I don’t know what the heck is going on with you two but I don’t have much love for anyone who’s out to kill a kid.”

“I’m twenty-one.” He wasn’t sure if he was ever _not_ going to sound petulant when someone called him a kid.

“And I’m forty-five, so.” She gave a lopsided smile and shook her head. “A kid.”

“I know you said this isn’t your fight but I was wondering if a group calling themselves ‘the Titans’ rings any bells.” Levi was focused on Irene, watching for any reaction.

“Nope, sorry.”

“Or the Children of Othrys.” The approving nod that Levi gave Eren left a small warmth in his chest.

“Othrys?” The both of them watched intently as Irene’s brow furrowed. “There was a group that called themselves ‘the Others’ that was just about dead by the time I was Madam Immateria. They were all shapeshifters, ones that didn’t quite fit.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like what we’re looking for.” Levi simply shrugged – it had been too much of a long shot to get upset about.

“So why did you come back to Dauper?” Eren tensed as soon as he spoke and watched Levi’s expression fall somewhere between exasperated and furious. On the other hand, Irene’s face remained neutral.

“It wasn’t my brother. Or my first husband either. Not even losing my leg.” Eren felt his mouth drop open. “I just didn’t want my daughter to grow up alone.”

“Oh.” Things were silent again, Eren struck dumb and Levi staring at Irene with an unfathomable expression. After a moment, she cleared her throat.

“So. Are ya two stayin’ or goin’?”

 

The motel room was dark when they reentered, not having opened the curtains when they left for breakfast. There was just enough light that they were able to navigate the room, shedding their coats and sitting heavily on their respective beds. Part of Eren wanted to just crawl back under the covers, to will his brain to shut down and forget everything – to forget about being hunted, to forget about a world where telekinetics massacred people and ran motels, to forget about his father and the swirl of cloak and dagger conspiracy he had left behind. Unfortunately, Levi seemed to have other plans as he turned to Eren, sitting on the edge of his bed and planting his feet firmly on the floor, elbows on his knees and propping his chin on his fists.

“I’m actually happy about this weird as hell turn of events.”

“We’re hiding from killers at a motel run by a retired villain.”

“A powerful telekinetic who has a soft spot for kids.”

“I am twenty-fucking-one.” Eren glared at Levi, clearly hiding a grin behind his hands.

“Maybe the next place we stop to eat we can get you a kids’ menu.”

“Fuck off.” Eren reached behind him and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at Levi. Part of him expected Levi to throw it back at him, but instead he shifted to the side and it went sailing past him over the bed, landing on the floor with a soft unseen thump. Levi raised an eyebrow at him, wordlessly indicating just how mature he thought Eren was being. “Well I’m going to go _shave_ because I’m and _adult_ with facial hair.”

Eren ignored Levi’s amused snort as he got up and walked towards the bathroom. As much as he disliked being called a kid he couldn’t call up any real frustration or anger at Levi; there was something almost friendly about it. Levi had never poked fun at him previously and being called a kid before was him dismissing Eren. Now it felt like the same sarcastic camaraderie that he and Jean had developed. He realized that over the past few days their relationship had shifted dramatically and that while Levi continued to hold back somewhat, he no longer put much effort into keeping up a façade. Just a few days prior, Levi’s interest in protecting him had been purely out of pragmatism and professional interest and now it had shifted into something more personal. That Levi had shown him his tattoo – and not just shown it, but _explained_ it – had been so surprising that he hadn’t really processed what exactly it meant until this moment. In retrospect Eren realized that he’d shared a lot of himself as well, both voluntarily and involuntarily, and just how much trust was involved in Levi’s reciprocity.

He turned the tap on the sink, giving the water time to heat up while he took a razor out of the packaging before finally splashing warm water to soften up the hair and finally lathering his face with shaving cream. The pull of the razor along almost three days of growth caused him to wince, the cheap razor making the process far more painful than it should have been. He had only just finished the left side of his face when he heard a knock, Levi slipping into the space between the doorframe and the bathroom door that Eren had left partially ajar, a frown on his face.

“If you want to shave I’m nowhere near done.”

“I’m fine.” They lapsed into silence, the only sound the rasp of the razor. Eren watched the mirror, half of his attention on his face and the other half on Levi, his lips pursed as he stared into middle distance, loosely focused on the showerhead as a bead of water gathered, hanging heavy before it finally fell. It was the sigh that escaped Levi that finally grabbed all of Eren’s attention, pausing with his razor halfway between the sink and his face.

“What’s up?”

“I fucking hate this.” He glanced over at Eren, taking in his furrowed brow and clarifying. “Waiting.”

“We’re resting. _You’re_ resting.” Eren lifted his razor again, starting on his neck.

“It _feels_ like waiting.”

“You should sleep.”

“Too keyed up.”

“I can always ask Irene if she can get you some warm milk.” Holding back a grin, Eren finished the final pass of his razor, dragging it carefully over his Adam’s apple. The glare he got from Levi would likely have made him freeze up before but now he could only let out a sharp laugh at Levi’s sour expression.

“Fuck off.” He pushed off the doorframe and left Eren’s line of sight.

“Not so fun on the receiving end, is it?” Eren called out after him before rinsing his face and ‘borrowing’ some of the lotion from Levi’s bag of toiletries, exiting the bathroom with a slight smile on his face.

The curtains were drawn back a few inches, allowing enough light into the room to navigate without potentially bumping into anything. Levi was laying on the bed, flat on his back with his hands folded over his stomach; the same position he’d taken up the night before when he was on Eren’s bed. He stared up at the ceiling, not acknowledging Eren’s presence as he sat down heavily on his own bed. When he spoke he didn’t turn his head to face Eren, simply speaking upwards with his eyes fixed on the turned-off light fixture.

“Hanji and Erwin want us back ASAP as well.”

“Yeah but –” Levi cut off his protest.

“I know I need the rest, but I can’t force myself to sleep or get my brain to shut the fuck up.” His jaw clenched, his body stretched taut for a moment before relaxing. “Though, knowing Madam goddamn Immateria is only a hundred yards away gives me some peace of mind.”

“She admitted she killed thirty people. How can you just trust her?”

“I don’t.” Levi finally let his head tilt to the side so that he was facing Eren. “But it’s this or we get in the car again and the last I heard you were pretty against that.”

“Compromise and leave this afternoon?”

“Yeah, okay.” He turned his head so that he was staring up at the ceiling again, allowing his eyes to fall closed.

“So… what did Hanji have to say yesterday? Besides that we need to get our asses back to Trost.”

“Not much really. Told them about the bank and the basement storage room. Finding the hard drive and the files, getting shot at, losing the files. Some of Grisha’s letter about the Titans also being called the Children of Othrys, Grisha working for them in some capacity, that he’s dead now. The rest of the letter is up to you.”

“What if Hanji or Erwin need to know?”

“I’ll let you know and you can tell them. Or you can just tell them when we get back. Whatever you want.”

“That’s kind of a big thing to leave up to me.”

“The letter was addressed to you.” Levi’s head turned again, his expression unreadable. “And you haven’t been given much of a choice about anything recently.” He shrugged awkwardly, still laying on the bed.

“Thanks.”

“Mm. I just hope Hanji can crack the encryption on the drive. Erwin isn’t happy about not having the files to go with it.”

“You didn’t want to go back.”

“I didn’t want you to die.” Levi shifted, pulling the blankets around him and rolling over to face away from Eren. “I’m going to take a nap. Get me up if I’m not awake by three.”


	95. Night Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the deal: I _will_ finish this arc, but I'm not so sure about the rest of it. I'm currently trying to think of a way to compress things if possible but idk. Winter is really rough on my motivation and my brain problems have been acting up a lot so yeah. We're very near to the end of this arc and then we'll see from there.

Eren watched Levi for a few minutes, taking in the small shifts as he got comfortable and the tight pull of the blanket across broad shoulders. Eventually Levi’s body stopped moving and his breathing evened out though his body never lost the coiled tension. There was nothing particularly interesting about the sleeping body in the other bed but without anything better to do, he watched. Part of Eren knew that he could probably let himself out quietly to borrow a book from the motel office but that meant having to talk to Irene, not to mention that he didn’t want Levi to wake up and find him gone. And so Eren tried to amuse himself, staring at a shadow on the wall and trying to figure out whether it looked more like a starfish or a hand.

His attention was beginning to wander when he heard a sudden exhale come from Levi as his body tightened and curled in on itself. Pained and sharp exhales continued to escape him as Eren watched in horror, unable to figure out just what he should be doing. Levi had woken him up the night before but this – Levi had mentioned having regular not-so-quiet nightmares and so hypothetically this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him. A small part of him also thought that regardless of the fact that Levi was unarmed, there was no way he was going to be able to wake Levi up without sustaining some sort of injury. He stayed where he was, uncomfortably aware of Levi’s restless body and uneven breathing, watching as his body tensed, fingers grasping tightly at the sheets as he made a sound like the air was being punched out of his chest.

“Levi?” When he didn’t respond to Eren’s voice he stood, shuffling those few steps between their beds, hovering at the edge of Levi’s own. “Levi?” Eren flinched backwards as his eyes snapped open, staring unseeing at the wall for a few seconds before drifting closed again. He curled into himself more tightly but some of his tension eased and the pained noises stopped, replaced by uneven breathing.

Retreating to his own bed again, Eren sat down and leaned back against the headboard again, frowning as he glanced over at Levi again. The world around him seemed to retreat as he stared at Levi’s back with a single-minded focus, his consciousness eventually narrowing to nothing more than his own senses and the body less than ten feet away from him. Eren watched the small movements of his body, the tension and the slow release as his mind eased out of whatever horror it had been stuck in. Levi’s calmer breathing and the slow rise and fall of his body was hypnotic as Eren continued to watch, his eyelids slowly lowering.

 

Eren woke up mildly disoriented, his mind fuzzy as he stared at the alarm clock on the nightstand for a few minutes before realizing that it was already 4pm. He startled upright, checking Levi’s bed and finding it empty, panicking for a brief moment before processing that the shower was running. Leaning back again Eren took a moment to center himself, his calm broken almost as soon as the shower turned off and the door to the bathroom opened.

While Levi _was_ wearing jeans, his torso was unclothed and almost as soon as Eren's eyes dipped down he looked up again sharply, focusing on Levi’s face rather than his bare chest and the tattoo on his ribs. For a brief moment he was seized by panic as he realized how poorly Levi might take it if he found Eren awake and watching him. He was about to cough when his gaze flicked down to Levi’s arm.

“You’re bleeding?” Levi looked up in surprise at Eren’s voice, pausing in his search through his bag.

“Yeah, the bullet graze from yesterday. Didn’t get to clean it last night.” He looked down at his bag and coughed awkwardly. “I can’t find the first aid kit. Seen it anywhere?”

“You didn’t bring it in?”

“I thought I did.” Levi let out an annoyed sigh. “Probably left it in the car.” He pulled a light colored shirt out of his bag and tossed it on the bed, rummaging around and finally pulling out a darker one.

“Wait, don’t get one of your shirts all bloody. I’ll go out and get it.” There was something about Levi’s narrowed eyes that almost made Eren want to laugh. “You can literally see the car from the window.”

“Fine.”

Nothing eventful happened in the ten minutes it took to go through Levi’s car. He hadn’t looked closely at either the backseat or the trunk whenever he’d been in it previously and found himself lingering slightly. The backseat was almost empty save for the spelunking kit they had used back in Shiganshina chucked haphazardly in the back, the material of the seat under it still damp from the rain the day before. The trunk was far more interesting with two locked hard cases and a roll of nylon material that ended up containing a small armory of knives. A cardboard box contained what looked like two different old wool blankets that smelled faintly of lavender and couple bottles of water and granola bars. Even after moving aside the locked cases and looking behind them he still couldn’t find a first aid kit. Straightening up and closing the trunk, Eren was in the process of walking back to ask Levi if he was sure that he hadn’t brought it into the motel room when he realized that Levi was standing at the open door, still shirtless and raising his eyebrow.

“Underneath the passenger seat.”

“Oh.”

Eren grabbed the hard box shoved under the seat, feeling somewhat foolish for not checking there first and handed it off to Levi, pointedly avoiding looking anywhere below his neck. He watched from the bed as Levi went back into the bathroom and began to take things out of the first aid kit, cleaning the wound quickly and somewhat more roughly than Eren thought was a good idea if he wanted it to stop bleeding and clearly struggling slightly as he tried to put a bandage over the wound. Before he could second guess himself Eren was standing up and walking across the room towards the bathroom.

“Need any help?” He’d never thought that someone could look both annoyed and grateful at the same time but somehow Levi pulled it off.

“Yeah, if you can just –” He cut himself off as Eren reached across him to grab the first aid kit.

“Can I see it a second?” Levi moved his hand, moving the red-tinged ball of antiseptic-soaked gauze away from the wound. While Eren knew that it was in no way a major injury he couldn’t help but think that Levi’s claim that it was ‘just a graze’ was something of an understatement. Though in fairness he had never seen a bullet graze wound this close before. Even so, the skin was torn up and the gash was deeper than he had thought it would be. Thankfully it seemed to be clotting decently well on its own. “Press this down over it.” Eren offered a new square of gauze to Levi, mouth quirking up as Levi gave him a nonplussed look. “Hold it while I wrap it.”

Levi held the square of gauze in place as Eren rolled more gauze around his bicep to hold it in place, moving his hand away as Eren passed over the square again. He tried to keep his touch light but Levi didn’t react at all when he pulled the bandage a bit too tightly while reaching for the surgical tape. After cutting the tape and making sure that the dressing would stay in place Eren moved back out of Levi’s personal space, suddenly aware of their proximity and watching as Levi moved his arm and flexed his bicep lightly, testing out the comfort of the bandage.

“Thanks.” It was barely a murmur as Levi reached for the dark long sleeve shirt he’d left on the back of the toilet and pulled it over his head. “You’re good at this.”

“A lifetime of fights and now bandaging up my sister and friends.” Eren gave him a slight smile, feeling far more at ease now that Levi was fully clothed. “Would you have been able to do that yourself?”

“Not as well but yeah. Like you said; a lifetime of practice.” He shifted his arm again and rubbed at the stubble on his jaw before letting out a sigh. “Well that’s not happening right now.”

Eren stepped out of the way as Levi walked out of the bathroom, packing up the first aid kit while Levi looked around the room, throwing his bag onto the bed and starting to put everything back into it. When Eren returned with the first aid kit he found Levi sitting on the bed with his bag half slung over his shoulder, waiting patiently as Eren got his things together as well. As they stood both of their gazes were drawn to the hand gun sitting on the nightstand. For a moment they stayed still, neither moving until Levi finally let out a sigh and took the two steps forward to grab the gun and the room key next to it, holding it loosely with the muzzle down and his finger off the trigger as they exited the motel room.

 

“Thought ya two were stayin’ through th’night.”

“Places to go, people not to see.” Irene smiled lightly at Levi and shook her head.

“Well, was nice to meet’cha. Woulda preferred diff’rent circumstance though.”

“It was… interesting to meet you.” Levi’s brow was furrowed and he lifted his hand, putting the gun on the counter and sliding it towards her. She stopped him, covering his hand with her own and pushing back lightly.

“You need it more’n I do. They got guns an’ you don’t.” Irene looked at them both pointedly. “Already had a run in with ‘em. No reason to get caught out ‘gain.” She raised an eyebrow at Eren’s confused expression. “I did yer wash, no mistakin’ blood.”

“Right.” Eren frowned and shifted awkwardly.

“Ya two be careful.” She gave them a sharp nod, her expression hard and her eyes sad as she watched them pick up their bags and head for the door. Eren paused at the door a few steps behind Levi and turned back.

“I’m sorry about your brother. But you uh, have your daughter, yeah?”

“She don’ live here no more but if yer ever in trouble in Sina, look up Imelda Braus.” Irene misinterpreted Eren suddenly going still, letting out an amused snort. “She ain’t a hero or a villain; jus’ a lawyer.”

“Yeah.” Eren nodded, shock making it difficult for him to find the words. “Thanks for everything.”

Outside, Levi was standing next to the car, his door open although he didn’t make an effort to get in. Eren felt slightly dazed as he opened the door and got into the car, only vaguely aware of Levi watching him as they pulled out of the parking lot and finally onto the road again, doubling back towards Shiganshina. Neither of them spoke as the light softened and the sun set, orange flaring up behind the black silhouettes of the mountains, giving the illusion of the world being flattened, as though they were inhabiting the world of a shadow puppet play.

 

It was fully dark now as they drove down an even smaller twisting road that would bring them to yet another highway before linking back to the Trost-Shiganshina. Levi had explained the logic behind it to Eren but he still wasn’t entirely certain that it made sense to be taking such a small highway through the middle of nowhere after dark when there were people who were looking to kill them but at this point he was willing to fully put his faith in Levi’s instincts.

The car’s headlights picked up the flash of reflectors on a guardrail and even in the dark Eren could see the shift of darkness under the pale moonlight as the empty black beyond the rail slid down into a ravine. There was something mesmerizing about the way the lights caught the lower branches of the trees and the white and yellow lines on the road; things lit almost like they were glowing from within, casting some eerie inner light into the darkness as it swallowed up their headlights. The hypnotic stretch and curve of the road continued ahead of them, always more road ready to be revealed as they rounded another bend or crested another hill. Looking over, Eren could only vaguely make out Levi’s expression but he could tell that the lines of his face were more relaxed, the tension in his jaw and around his eyes released as the dark enveloped them and the only sound was the howl of the wind in the mountains as they sped along.

 

At some point Eren had drifted off, coming back to consciousness with a soft blue neon glow illuminating the car. The first thing that he noticed after the lighting was that they had stopped. After that came the awareness of a rushing sound and the heady scent of gasoline and exhaust. He burrowed into the warm cocoon of rough blankets he had ended up in, the peaceful scent of lavender filling his nose. A breeze suddenly blew in causing him to curl in away from the cold, pushing his way upright as he heard the car door slam.

“Good morning.”

“What time is it?” Eren stretched and realized that at some point Levi had pulled a blanket over him, upon closer inspection he recognized it as one of the ones he’d found in the trunk earlier.

“A little after midnight.”

“Not exactly ‘morning’ you know.” Levi shrugged and put the car into gear, pulling out of the gas station and onto the highway again. “Thanks for the blanket.”

“Pulled over after we got off the local highway to take a look at the map. You looked cold.”

“Thanks.” The words came out quieter this time.

“You should drink something.” Levi shoved a plastic convenience store bag at him.

“So there’s a sandwich and –” Eren stopped and turned to Levi, glaring at him. “I swear if you got me something off the kid’s menu I’m going to make sure I get crumbs everywhere.”

“Fuck off. And no, I didn’t.”

“Good.” There was a moment’s pause as Eren went through the bag, pulling out the sandwiches and setting them aside before finding – “Wasabi Kit Kats? You got _wasabi Kit Kats_? At a convenience store in the middle of nowhere?"

"I was surprised too." Levi kept his eyes on the road and put his hand out to Eren. "Hand me one?"

"They're gross.”

"Don't knock it if you haven't tried it."

"Oh I've tried it. Sasha likes them."

"Sasha?"

"The Hunter."

"You know, you shouldn't give out people's identities. Bad etiquette."

"Yeah but you already know all my friends."

"With the exception of your sister – and now the Hunter – I actually don't know any of their names."

"Oh."

"For being kids they were actually pretty good about keeping their names to themselves when we were working together."

"When did you –? Right." Eren ducked his head and stared down at his hands, suddenly quiet. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Yeah, but –"

"No." Levi interrupted him, his tone stern. "I thought you got over your pity parade _months_ ago."

"So what, I'm not allowed to feel like shit because me getting kidnapped means that two of your friends got killed?" His voice rose in volume, body tense as he clenched his hands. Beside him, Levi's shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh.

"I'm not saying you can't feel like shit, what I'm saying is that it isn't your fault." Levi's eyebrows drew together tightly for a moment before his face relaxed again. "You can be sad but if you're going to be angry at anybody, be angry at the bastards who did this.” His expression went cold and angry. “ _None_ of this is your fault.”

“It doesn’t feel that way from where I’m sitting.” He watched as Levi’s jaw clenched and his grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles going white. For a moment Eren thought that he was going to continue – to argue with him further – but he remained silent, the sound of the highway filling the wordless space between them.

The tense silence between them remained uninterrupted, even as Levi held his hand out and Eren passed him a sandwich and one of the wasabi Kit Kats, the both of them ignoring one another. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Levi took cautious bites out of his sandwich, being careful not to let anything fall. Even so, Eren watched as a couple of crumbs fell, as small as snowflakes and landing somewhere on Levi’s seat. Uncertain of how Levi react if he mentioned it, Eren let it go uncommented-on and ate his own sandwich with more caution. He couldn’t help but shift slightly so that he could watch Levi better when he finished his sandwich and opened up the packet of wasabi Kit Kats. There was an almost morbid curiosity to it; Sasha ate and enjoyed them but it came at the price of tears and sniffling, eyes reddened and moist as her eyes watered. Some part of him thought that Levi wouldn’t react at all, that he would eat them as though they were without so much as a sniffle, as though they were just any ordinary candy.

He was dead wrong.

Levi looked just as pained as Sasha did; eyes watering as he sniffled slightly, and yet he had that same look of masochistic enjoyment that he usually saw on Sasha’s face when she ate them. A smile crept across his face as he continued to watch Levi’s face until finally Levi finished the last piece and glanced over at him.

“Someone’s in a better mood.”

“You were making some interesting expressions.” Levi turned to him, his glare less intimidating given that his eyes were still slightly watery. “Why do you like them?”

“I don’t know. I just do.” He shrugged, head forward and focusing on the road ahead. “I don’t like sweet things much so that’s part of it. What about you?”

“I don’t really eat that many sweet things. Mostly just chocolate. Baklava if I can find somewhere that does it from scratch. There used to be a Lebanese restaurant near campus that had it sometimes but it’s gone now.” Eren shrugged and frowned. “Not that it was as good as my mom or nene’s anyway.”

“Never had it.”

“It’s really good.” He yawned and stretched before settling back into his seat.

“Going to sleep again?” Levi glanced at Eren, an eyebrow raised.

“I haven’t really slept much in the past couple of months. And long car rides make me tired anyway.”

“Well at least one of us is sleeping well.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not like I’m sleeping much worse than usual.”

“But you’ve been driving during the day.” Levi’s head turned his head sharply, eyes narrowing.

“Stop.” His voice was curt and he turned back to the road after a moment. “I told you to lay off the pity party. You sleeping better doesn’t do shit about my own sleep.”

“I just –”

“Keep it up and I’ll make you sit in the trunk the rest of the way. Though I don’t know, maybe that masochistic streak of yours would enjoy it.”

Eren grumbled but didn’t continue, falling silent and shifting to get more comfortable as they continued on, heading due east on the highway. Hours slipped by like the scenery, indistinct and abstract in the dark until the horizon began to glow steadily brighter. Slowly the world around them came into focus; indistinct dark forms sharpening into low-slung buildings and billboards, trees sloping down towards the highway and stopping at the steep drainage ditch running parallel to the road.

The edge of the sky was a bright pink and a sliver of blinding gold was peeking over when Levi pulled off and parked outside of a diner. In spite of having driven all night Levi looked fairly awake as they ordered their food, neither of them talking beside Levi telling him that they’d be driving a little further to find somewhere to stop off for the day. They ate with determination, no spare words besides plans spoken and throwing down a few bills as they left quietly and returned to the car.

 

Levi chose the first decent-looking motel with a sign advertising vacancies to stop off at. Eren paused as he walked towards the office beside Levi, catching sight of a small knot of people on the other side of the parking lot. The hand on his lower back applying enough pressure to encourage him forward was unexpected and Eren wasn’t entirely sure that he could remember another instance of such a casual touch. Levi hadn’t let him fall flat on his face when he was drunk, had _hit_ him in the face, had literally dragged him through fire, had _not_ hit him when he’d decided to throw a punch of his own and then cried into his shoulder, had shaken him awake when he’d had a nightmare. This though, this touch was almost warm and familiar.

He watched Levi surreptitiously as they waited for the manager at the front desk, his expression giving no indication of anything and leaving Eren to sigh and cast his gaze elsewhere, coming to rest on a collection of commemorative plates on the wall – the 100th anniversary of the Maria State harvest festival, the 25th annual Spring Fling, five different plates for the local Wallist Church.

The latter commemorative plates made him suddenly uncomfortable and he watched out of the corner of his eye as Levi carried out the transaction with the manager, a man who didn’t even give him a second glance as Levi passed over a number of bills and was given a key and directions to their room in return. He followed Levi out of the office and walked the short difference to their room just a few doors down, eyes darting towards the people still in the parking lot. There was the light pressure of Levi’s hand on his back again as he gently pushed him through the door and suddenly it was much darker as the door closed behind.

“For future reference, _don’t_ glare at cops when you’re trying to fly under the radar.”

“How do you know they–? And I wasn’t glaring.”

“I can see better than you – literally – and yes, you were.” Levi dropped his bag and flicked the light on, revealing a small room with a small couch and a single bed.

“Um.”

Levi frowned and turned back to Eren. “It’s a pull-out couch.”

“Oh.” He let out a quiet breath and let his shoulders relax. “Okay. I’m not really tired right now anyway.”

“I’m going to try and get some sleep and we can head out again later in the afternoon.”

“Won’t it be weird that we only stayed a few hours?” Eren was frowning deeply.

“We’re returning to Trost after visiting my sister in Shiganshina. She’s going to go into labor three weeks early while her husband is on a business trip in Sina and we have to head back.”

“And so I’m…?”

“I let him fill in the blanks for himself.” Levi shrugged and Eren felt his face heating up as Levi grabbed his bag again and headed toward the bathroom, groaning as he collapsed back onto the couch and brought his hands up to cover his face. The not-real memory of cuddling up with Levi inserted itself into his mind and he couldn’t help but let out a frustrated noise before rummaging through his own bag before remembering that he’d forgotten to bring a book.

Eren had the contents of his bag strewn across the couch and a frown on his face when Levi exited the bathroom dressed in sleep clothes. A frown pulled at his face as he tried to figure out what he could do for the next few hours while Levi slept. He knew at some point he would probably drift off, but until then he would need _something_ to occupy himself with.

“Any chance you packed a book?”

“Only the notes from Hanji and Erwin about this mission plus the ones I took down yesterday.” Seeing Eren’s confused expression, Levi continued. “Wrote them up while you were asleep.”

“So, can I – ” Levi cut him off.

“No.”

“They’re literally about something that’s fucking happening right around me.” Eren glared at Levi who simply frowned back at him.

“It’s not just about this. It’s…” Levi paused for a moment. “It’s shit you don’t _want_ to know. Trust me.”

“Fine.” Eren jerked his gaze away from Levi, scanning the rest of the room and noticing two books on the small desk up against the wall. Levi was getting into bed as Eren stood up and crossed the room to pick up the books; a cheap action-mystery paperback and a Wallist bible. He took both back to the couch with him and sat down again. “Mind if I turn the reading light over here on?”

“Go for it.” Levi rolled over to face away from the light as Eren reached to turn it on, opening up the paperback and starting to read.


	96. Trigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's one, maybe two chapters left to this arc.  
> [stares at writing notes]  
>  _This_ arc.

The reviews on the back cover of the novel had promised a gripping story that would fully engross the reader and yet Eren found himself barely interested in the loose cannon cop who didn’t play by the rules as he tried to get to the bottom of why his partner had been murdered. For all that the protagonist was supposed to be a lady’s man, Eren couldn’t help but feel that the protagonist was a little bit _too_ intent on getting revenge for his partner’s death for them to have just been friends. Or maybe he was projecting. Though he was pretty sure he’d seen at least one porno that picked up where the flashback to their final stakeout ended that involved something a hell of a lot more interesting to him than reading about the protagonist’s clichéd downward spiral into alcoholism.

He had just gotten to the part where the femme fatale showed up when there were a couple of scuffed footsteps on the gravel outside followed by a soft knock on their room’s door. His body stiffened and he saw Levi’s eyes snap open, not yet ready for a fight but immediately alert and aware of his surroundings, body tense as he swung his legs off the bed and stood up. There was another soft and tentative knock before a man’s voice filtered through the door.

“Um. Hello?” An awkward pause drew out and both Levi and Eren tensed, ready to act. “Uh, I think you’re the ones with the Civic? I um, I think I may have dinged your car.”

“ _Fuck._ ” Levi’s voice was a whispered hiss. From beyond the door they heard another man speak, voice slightly raised as though he were standing more than a few feet away.

“Come on man, they aren’t here let’s just go.”

“We can wait another minute.”

“Just leave your phone number and insurance and let’s _go_.”

“Okay, yeah fine.”

Eren watched as Levi dragged his hands down his face and leaned back, about to sit back on the bed when his body snapped out of its almost-relaxed state. It took barely a fraction of a second for Eren to process why Levi was fully alert again; there were no retreating footsteps.

In the same moment that Eren was edging backwards away from the door, Levi lunged forward to grab his arm and yank him back. He stumbled slightly from the force with which Levi had pulled on him but he didn’t lose his footing completely. There was barely a moment for him to take in the fact that Levi had placed himself slightly in front of Eren before the door came crashing in revealing two silhouettes – one short, one tall – as the midday light streamed in through the door, dust swirling in the shaft of light.

There was no pause in their momentum as they came barreling in, Levi rushing forward to grab the arm of the shorter man as he raised a gun. The taller man didn’t even bother to stop and engage Levi, heading straight for Eren. He counted himself lucky that only the shorter man seemed to have a gun as the taller one made to grab him, trying to slip away as grasping hands brushed at him and managed to grab the loose fabric of his hoodie. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Levi continuing to grapple with the other man and realized that his assailant had a stronger grip on the back of his hoodie than he had initially thought. For a moment he struggled against them but quickly changed tactics and pulled at his zipper, twisting out of his hoodie and leaving his attacker holding it as he took short adrenaline-spiked breaths and backed away, keeping them in view as they tossed his hoodie aside. They were staring each other down when a gunshot went off, startling the both of them to look back at Levi and the other man.

For one brief hysterical moment Eren thought that Levi had been shot until he watched the other man’s body drop, hitting the floor with a heavy thud, his arm dragging Levi down to his knees as he tried to shake off their grip. He took advantage of his attacker’s distraction, rushing forward in a crouch and slamming his shoulder into their gut. It had been a couple years since he’d been in an actual fight and even longer since he’d been in a fight with any actual stakes in it but instinct kicked in almost immediately. He’d never been the most skilled or graceful when it came to fights but he had a stubborn will to survive backed up with Annie’s lessons and he wasn’t above fighting dirty if the occasion called for it, and it definitely called for it now.

His opponent’s height made it somewhat easier to crouch and protect his core and use his lower center of gravity to his advantage. Eren got in another blow to their rib cage before they hit back, their fist colliding with the side of his face and sending him stumbling away disoriented. The world was far away and he felt like his brain was rattling inside his head as he scrambled away on all fours, knocked down by the force of the blow. Across the room he could see that Levi had managed to disarm the other assailant and that they were still locked in a fight though the other man was clearly bleeding, scuffs of blood on the floor where he had fallen and dragged Levi down. The fallen gun caught the taller man’s attention and he dove for it, Eren reacting and moving towards it as well, trying to grab at it to toss it away. As his hand touched the gun he realized just how close the tall man had gotten to him and some survival instinct drove him to turn around onto his back aiming the gun upwards at his attacker, eyes wide as they stopped their forward motion and froze above him. A long moment passed as he stared up at them, their eyes narrowing as they realized he wasn’t going to shoot and finally reaching down to grab it from him.

Eren’s hand tensed as he tried to hold onto the gun to keep the other man from wrenching it out of his hand, his finger pulling the trigger. He closed his eyes as the shot rang out and heard the man’s pained and enraged cursing as he pushed himself up and stumbled to the side. It took another moment before Eren could open his eyes, assured by the continued string of obscenities from the other man that he hadn’t killed him. Opening his eyes, he took in the man kneeling next to him and clutching at the other side of his head with blood dripping down his arm and watched as Levi ended his fight with the shorter man, slamming his head into the desk and his body going limp. That got the taller man moving again, pulling his hand away from his head and picking himself to charge at Levi. Pushing himself partially upright as well, Eren lashed out at the other man, kicking him hard in the shins and causing him to come crashing down again.

Levi’s attention snapped away from the unmoving man on the floor and back to where Eren and the other man were grappling on the carpet. There was a brief moment where Eren thought that the other man was going to go for the gun again and pushed it away, sending it tumbling across the thin carpeting and under the couch as the man pushed up and headed for Levi. Eren stayed down, back flat against the hard floor and stared determinedly at the ceiling, only looking over when he heard the sound of a body connecting with the wall and then falling to the floor with a groan. The only sound left in the room was that of heavy breathing and his own hammering heartbeat. Given the sudden stillness of the room he could only assume that Levi had subdued the other man – his assumption confirmed as Levi now stood above him, leaning down and offering a hand.

His legs were surer than he had expected when Levi helped pull him upright, though his body heavy and slow as everything caught up. Levi’s fingertips brushed lightly at his bicep, poised and ready to support him if necessary, face tipped up and eyes darting as he watched him and waited for some response. His hand fell away as Eren let out a shaky breath.

“First time you shot a gun?” Eren nodded mutely and Levi let out a short breath. “If it’s any consolation all you did was clip his ear.”

“I didn’t want…” He trailed off and turned, looking at the two men sprawled out and unmoving on the floor, an awful churning in the pit of his stomach. “Your guy –?”

“I was trying to get the gun away from him, he pulled the trigger and shot himself in the leg.” Levi paused and spoke more softly. “They’ll live but we need to go. They won’t be unconscious much longer.”

“Right.” Gathering up his belongings and throwing them back into his bag took slightly longer than normal, his movements slow and mechanical as Levi knelt down and did a quick turnout of their assailants pockets and stilled, a police badge in hand.

“Fuck.” He stood up quickly, shoving the badge into his pocket and grabbed a pen from the desk, taking a few quick steps towards the couch and reached under to fish the gun out, hooking the pen into the trigger and laying it at the top of his own bag before zipping it closed. “ _Fuck._ ”

Levi grabbed Eren’s elbow and pulled him forward, hopping over the kicked in door and moving quickly towards the car, the both of them throwing their bags into the backseat and pulling their doors closed as Levi peeled out of the parking lot and headed back towards the highway. There was an almost weary tension in him as he hunched forward slightly, his jaw set and his eyes alert even as the rest of his body showed his exhaustion. As he watched out of the corner of his eye Eren realized that Levi was still wearing the pajama bottoms and t-shirt that he had been sleeping in, a hoodie thrown on haphazardly over it and looking painfully young. If he could forget everything going on around them, let all of it fall away, he could almost believe that Levi was simply an overworked grad student nearing the deadline for his thesis defense. And suddenly he ached for that – that Levi’s exhausted alertness was the result of last minute scrambling for more grant funding or an unhelpful adviser causing him to nearly miss a deadline and not the fact that less than fifteen minutes ago he’d been trying to wrestle a gun away from a man intent on killing the both of them. That he had been forced to disarm and subdue two men larger than himself while he was in far from peak condition.

“Eren?” Levi’s voice caused him to jerk, rapidly called back from his own thoughts. “Can get my phone from the glove box?” He had his hand stuck out, eyes still focused on the road.

“Thought we were maintaining radio silence.” Even as he said it he was reaching to get Levi’s phone, the arched eyebrow that he got in response causing the corner of his mouth to quirk up. “I mean, it’s not like we were just involved in a minor gun fight and destroyed a motel room. Could be dangerous to give away our position.”

“Sarcasm in the face of near-death; I like your style, kid.” Levi glanced down briefly as he powered on his phone before returning his gaze forward, scanning the road in front of them and his eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror every few seconds. When his phone fully turned on a minute later he brought his hand up, scrolling through his contacts. He put the phone on speaker and set it on his lap, the dial tone sounding a countdown as they came fully back onto the grid.

“Levi!” The voice was distorted but still unmistakably Hanji.

“Hey, so we’re back on the grid in a big way.”

“I’m putting you on speaker.”

“What do you need?” Erwin’s voice came through this time; brusque and clipped, all business.

“We’re about an hour and a half from the juncture of Highway 40 East and the Trost-Shiganshina. Can you meet us halfway between here and Trost?”

“The whole cavalry?”

“We were just attacked by two men. One of them had a badge and gun. Shots were fired; we’re okay, they’ll live.”

“Keep driving. We’ll call you back in ten with a meet-up location.”

“Sounds good.” Levi hung up, a determined look on his face as he watched the road.

“So how much further until Trost?”

“About seven hours assuming only light traffic.” A muscle in Levi’s jaw tensed. “If we’re lucky we’ll be meeting up with them in four hours. I doubt Moblit and Nifa are there with them right now and they’re going to need a couple extra hands.”

“Do you think they’re going to ask my friends?” Eren’s voice was soft as he looked down at his hands.

“Do you want them to?”

“No.” He shook his head and paused. “Mikasa. She’ll be pissed if she finds out after and…” Eren shrugged awkwardly. “Also I just really want to see my sister.”

“I doubt Erwin would object to having someone with her powers along with them.” He glanced over at Eren. “And don’t be embarrassed about wanting to see your sister. You’ve been through hell; wanting to see your only family makes fucking sense.” A frown pulled at Levi’s mouth. “Especially with how you left things at the start of this.”

Eren leaned back in his seat and focused on his breathing, tense silence settling over them as they waited for Levi’s phone to ring again. When it finally did ring again it took Levi barely a split second to pick it up and answer.

“Take exit nineteen off of the Trost-Shiganshina. Follow the main road for a bit; you’ll know where to stop when you see it.” There was rustling in the background of Hanji’s hurried speech.

“Is it just you two?”

“We’ve got another pair of hands.”

“Get Red Scarf too.”

“You sure?” Hanji’s words were slower now, more deliberate.

“You think Erwin’s going to argue?”

“No, but – Eren?”

“He asked.”

“Okay.” There was a heavy sigh, echoing oddly over speakerphone. “Yeah, okay. We should be there a little ahead of you guys so be ready to roll out immediately.”

“Sounds good.”

 

They didn’t speak to one another after Levi ended the call, the both of them watching all around them for any signs of pursuit. Halfway to their rendezvous point, there was a heart-stopping moment when a dark blue sedan pulled off the highway sharply behind them and followed them to the same gas station. Eren tensed as the other car pulled up to the gas pump and the rear door of the car flung open. He relaxed slightly and let out a shaky breath as a young girl ran out towards the convenience store yelling that she had to pee _right now_ , a harried-looking woman jumping out of the car and following behind her at a light jog. Levi continued to watch the car as a man got out and angled himself so that it looked as though he were simply watching the meter on the pump even as the man removed the gas nozzle from the cradle and began to fill up his own car. Unlike Levi, the other man was far less skilled in obscuring the focus of his gaze, his interested glances at them too long and too frequent to be coincidental. Finally, Levi looked up and met the other man’s eyes purposefully, causing him to go stock still as though he couldn’t be seen if he didn’t move.

“See something you like?” Levi’s voice was harsh and the other man flinched back, averting his eyes and jerking his head so that he was staring at his own car. His expression hard, Levi watched the man a moment longer before setting the nozzle back into the cradle and getting into the car.

“Following us?” They both looked up into the rearview mirror, the man surreptitiously tapping away at his phone with a nervous expression on his face as his eyes darted between the convenience store and the phone in his hand.

“Following us.” Levi glared angrily at the reflection of the man in the mirror as they pulled out of the gas station. “Involving his fucking family too.”

“Probably won’t actually do anything though, yeah?” Eren glanced up at the mirror again even though the man was out of view. “Definitely didn’t look like he’d be doing anything more interesting than just following us. And like you said, his family is with him.”

“That doesn’t mean shit.” Levi’s lips were pressed together tightly and Eren crossed his arms, hunching in on himself slightly.

“I know, but… I want to think he wouldn’t.”

“There are some really fucking awful people out there.”

“I know.” Eren’s voice was soft as he tightened his arms around himself.

 

They had passed exit twenty a few miles back, the sign flashing as it reflected the headlights of the cars rushing by in the near-dark. Eren watched the road signs count down to their exit; five miles followed by two miles, followed by one mile, a half mile… The metronomic click of the directional came on as Levi pulled into the exit lane and slowed, stopping at the sign at the top of the hill and making a right turn away from the highway overpass, passing through another intersection with a gas station and a diner before continuing down a slow unlit road. Levi’s features were undefined as the trees hemmed in and blocked out the remaining light, the smooth whisper of tires on paved surface giving way to the harsh crunch of gravel as they moved further from the highway and deeper into the countryside.

The dense trees suddenly gave way to endless acres of rolling fields blanketed in snow, tufts of bushes and the tops of fences rising up through the white. Eren glanced at the dashboard now, noting that they had turned off the highway at least twenty minutes ago and Levi still wasn’t even slowing down to look for where they might be meeting up with everyone else. A few minutes later he heard Levi murmur something under his breath that sounded like _“what the fuck, Hanji?”_ and in spite of everything he felt the urge to laugh bubbling up. He was able to tamp it down quickly though as they passed by a barn and farm house, Levi slowing as they continued on slightly further, the road sloping down to a second barn at the foot of the hill, the even grade of a cement drive heading off the road to the closed doors.

As they cut their own lights and pulled off onto the drive a dark unmarked cargo van rolled out around the corner slowly with its headlights off, stopping as it pulled alongside their own vehicle. There was a tension in Eren’s body, nervousness even though he knew who _should_ be in the van. He relaxed fully as Hanji jumped out from the rear of the van, a bag slung over their shoulder and a deep frown on their face.

“Okay, both of you out. Eren, grab your stuff and get in the van. Levi, get into the passenger seat, you look like shit.” Eren stepped out of the car quickly, grabbing his bag and coat and heading for the van, wanting to get out of the cold as quickly as possible.

“Wait, take this.” He turned back at Levi’s voice, brow furrowed as he grabbed his own bag and held it out to Eren before turning towards Hanji to explain. “The hard drive is in there. Also a badge that needs to be run and a gun that we can hopefully lift some fingerprints off of.”

“Okay.”

The bag was heavier than Eren thought it would be, undoubtedly due to the fact that there was a gun in it but there was something else to it. The unspoken implication of handing off the bag was that it would be safer riding in the van – _definitely_ would be given that it would be riding in the same van as both Erwin and Mikasa – and it made Eren uncomfortable to realize that although they knew he was expendable now, his safety was still being prioritized. He hesitated at the door to the van, watching Hanji raised an eyebrow at Levi’s clothing and suddenly finding himself staring at Levi’s pajama bottoms, a large splash of dried blood on his thigh noticeable against the green plaid even in the dim country twilight. That he was walking normally meant the blood wasn’t his own and Eren let out a sigh of relief as he got into the van and closed the door behind him and found himself immediately enveloped in a pair of arms, the strong grip pulling him in close so that his face was squashed into their shoulder.

“Red Scarf, please sit back a second.” Mikasa moved back reluctantly at the woman’s request. The shadowy source of the voice shifted closer and Eren threw up an arm to shield his eyes as they turned a lantern on, Nifa’s face appearing as he lowered his arm. “Sorry about that. Any injuries to report?” The van started to pull out and Eren glanced up, looking past Nifa and Mikasa’s faces; Erwin appeared to be riding in the passenger seat and he assumed the man who was driving was Moblit. Looking back to Nifa, Eren shook his head no. “Eren, I need verbal confirmation: _Any injuries to report_?”

“No. No, I’m fine.” He paused and glanced over at Mikasa, her lips pursed as she watched him. “A few scrapes but that’s it.”

“Where?”

“Just a couple on my hands and arms.” She held her hands out palms up and he took off his sweatshirt, offering out his arms for her to look at. He sighed heavily as he watched her turn and pull out a first aid kit, putting on a pair of latex gloves and dampening some gauze with disinfectant before pulling out a container of anti-bacterial ointment. “I’m _fine_. I washed them out days ago and they’re already scabbed over, they only sting a bit from earlier.”

“I’m a doctor and I spend 90% of my time working with dead bodies. Indulge me and let me work on a body with a pulse.”

“Get Levi then.” She looked up from his arms, a resigned expression on her face.

“What did he do?”

“He has a bullet graze from–” Eren snapped his mouth closed as he watched Mikasa’s expression turn horrified and furious. Nifa was staring at him as well, stock still with her lips parted in surprise and even Erwin had turned in his seat, brow furrowed.

“He said there were shots fired but you were fine.” Erwin looked deeply displeased.

“Yeah, that was earlier today.” Eren could feel the rage building in Mikasa even as he avoided her gaze. “There was a uh… there was a sniper in Shiganshina. They grazed Levi’s arm.” He shrank under the collective weight of their gazes, he could even feel Moblit watching him in the rearview mirror. Reaching out, he grabbed Mikasa’s hand, squeezing it tightly in reassurance.

“Did he clean it properly?”

“I helped him clean and wrap it. I’ve never seen a bullet wound up close before so I don’t know if he needs stitches or not.”

“I’ll check it when we’re back.” Nifa held out her hands again. “Let me finish this up, there’s one that looks like it re-opened.”

Mikasa let go of his hand and moved away, rage burning out as she curled in on herself, her expression pained as she looked away from him sharply. Eren turned back to watch Nifa dabbing his hands with disinfectant, unflinching even as she went over a cut on his right hand on the skin between his thumb and index fingers. Nifa’s fingers hesitated there, her own index finger pressing close to the cut finally causing him to flinch.

“That’s a bit deeper than the rest.” She kept her voice low enough that only Eren could hear her. “Usually I see these on people who’ve never fired a gun before. If you don’t hold it right the pistol slide on some guns will catch the skin next to your thumb.” She looked up and met his eyes, a concerned expression on her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Eren nodded once and swallowed drily. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Let someone know if you aren’t.” Nifa laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft look. “You have plenty of people who care about you.” She smiled at him briefly before dropping her hand and reaching for the first aid kit again, raising her voice slightly when she spoke again. “Let’s do a quick wrap around that scrape on your hand just to make sure it doesn’t open again.”


	97. Encrypted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't follow me on Tumblr, the majority of the reason I haven't posted anything in two months is that I've been dealing with health issues of the mental and physical varieties. I'm on the mend but I was pretty much forced to shelve this chapter even though it was almost done because I was in a shit ton of pain. 
> 
> The past two months gave me a lot of time to think though and I know I've said this a lot but I really am very serious this time about discontinuing ALYNA and just posting all of my notes. Even with my health on the mend and warm weather coming up, after two years I don't think I have the energy to continue this. I'm thinking of posting the notes as pseudo-chapters because otherwise it will be a giant mess and breaking it into probably three(?) chapters will make it more organizationally manageable for me and for readers. (Also I can pace it out a bit as though it were still a "story")
> 
> So thank you everyone for reading and for being here but I'm going to take the next couple of weeks to get all my notes together and tidy them up so I can post them.

The rest of the ride back was uneventful, the adrenaline crash and the gentle sway and bump lulled Eren into something of a trance, the low voices of Erwin, Moblit and Nifa providing a white noise that washed over him. He settled into Mikasa’s side, letting his head rest on her shoulder and feeling the long sigh that she let out, grabbing and squeezing his hand tightly before letting go and allowing herself to settle back and rest as well. In the dark of the van he couldn’t see the road signs passing by but he could feel when they got closer to Trost, the traffic slowing and the sway of the van increasing as Moblit was forced to stop short a number of times. He could feel the swell of the road as they took an exit ramp off the highway and slowed to a stop, the red of a traffic light washing through the windshield and casting its glow into the back of the van. The red glow turned green and their van gave a lurch as they started to move again, navigating the slow traffic of the main areas before turning off and heading down smaller streets. The lights were replaced by stop signs that Moblit didn’t fully stop for until finally there was a heavy bump and the nose of the van was slanting down as they descended the steep pitch of an underground docking bay, the screeching of a metal garage door closing behind them.

In spite of being out of the weather it was still cold outside of the van, Eren shivering as they left the warmth of the van. As they stepped up onto the loading platform he looked to the side and in the dim light cast by a single low watt bulb he could recognize Levi’s car parked beside their van, the constriction in his chest easing at the sight of it. They all waited off to the side as Erwin went through the security measures on the only door off the loading platform, Eren pressed between Mikasa and Nifa as Erwin went through palm scans of both hands in addition to a typed out passcode and finally a regular key. Erwin walked ahead of them followed closely by Nifa before Moblit nudged Eren and Mikasa gently to follow, bringing up the rear himself. They followed along a dimly lit corridor until they came to another heavy door at the end, this one requiring only a passcode to open. The light on the other side of the door was far brighter than the corridor, causing Eren to squint and blink repeatedly as his eyes teared up at the sudden change. When his sight finally cleared he felt a sort of disoriented familiarity as he looked at the room before him.

Having only entered through what was presumably the main door into the Survey Corp’s headquarters it took him a moment to place exactly where they were. While he had never really given it much thought he had figured that there must be other entrances to the building; this one just happened to not be readily visible as it was on the far end of the wall adjacent to the main entrance, obscured mostly by Hanji’s work station taking up the majority of that corner.

Beyond the desk and filing cabinets and everything piled on top of them he could see the table that they used for seemingly everything from dinner to planning to debriefs, Levi sitting at it though Hanji was nowhere to be seen. Eren hadn’t expected Levi to look much better than he had when they parted ways even with Hanji taking over the driving but the degree to which he looked unchanged – if not worse – made Eren feel slightly uncomfortable and as though he had missed something. The only positive change in Levi’s appearance was that he had clearly showered and shaved and changed into fresh clothing, though Eren was slightly puzzled by the fact that he seemed to be wearing the pants from a set of blue scrubs in addition to what looked like a hand knit dark green sweater. The gentle pressure of Mikasa’s hand on his arm brought Eren out of his own thoughts as they followed Erwin and Nifa out into the main area.

As they approached the table, Hanji came out of the kitchen with two large teapots and gave them all a tired smile before heading back to the kitchen, Moblit following and the both of them reappearing a moment later with a number of mugs. Erwin stepped away from the table as well, coming back with three folding chairs just as Hanji was halfway through pouring everyone a cup of tea. They all settled in around the table, seating somewhat tighter than usual with the additional people. Nobody moved to speak immediately as Nifa sat down next to Levi and put her first aid kit on the table, Levi removing his sweater and rolling up the sleeve of his t-shirt to keep it out of the way. He looked exhausted and deeply unhappy to be sitting there, Nifa having forced him to shift over so that he was sitting near the corner of the table, practically next to Erwin and avoiding his calculating gaze. For all that he felt bad that Levi looked uncomfortable, Eren was somewhat relieved that while he was sitting similarly close to Erwin he was not receiving the same focused and intense stare. What he _was_ receiving was _Mikasa’s_ intense stare, something he was avoiding acknowledging as he watched Nifa cut the bandage around Levi’s arm. At least the look her received from her was approving as she looked at his patch job and began to clean it, frowning as it began to bleed again and handing off some gauze to Levi to press over it while she went through the first aid kid again. It was at that point that Erwin seemed to decide that he was done waiting for everyone else to settle in.

“I know that this is a very broad question but what happened?” Erwin’s gaze slid from Levi to Eren. “Levi didn’t tell us much before.”

“We…” Eren trailed off and stopped, the sheer breadth of what had happened over the past few days silencing him. The homophobic manager from the first place they stayed over was irrelevant, but was Irene – was _Madam Immateria_ – similarly irrelevant? The deposit at the bank was relevant but was the woman who brought them to it? There were too many details to relay at once, too many divergences and questions potentially significant insignificant details. He glanced up at Levi again, everything weighing on him readily visible to Eren as Nifa applied liquid stitches to the wound on his arm. “There’s a lot.”

“Let’s start smaller; Levi said something about a hard drive.”

“Yeah.” Eren ducked down and pulled Levi’s bag up, hesitating as he unzipped it and saw the gun on top. Levi spoke up to fill the space of Eren’s hesitation.

“Also a gun and badge from the two men who attacked us earlier today.” Moblit stood up from where he had been sitting next to Mikasa and walked over, taking a glove out of his pocket and picking up both the badge and gun, frowning slightly at Levi. “Sorry, didn’t have anything to bag it with on hand and we were in a bit of a rush.”

“If there are any intact prints left I’ll run them. This badge is Shiganshina PD and officers are required to be fingerprinted so even a partial will help. The badge number is filed down though so they might not even be officers. Not many people actually _look_ at the badge.” Eren nodded and ducked down to the bag again, frowning and looking up at Levi.

“Hard drive is in the inside pocket.”

“Okay.” Eren unzipped the pocket and pulled the hard drive out, sliding it across the table towards Hanji.

“And supposedly this is the key to everything?” Hanji turned the hard drive over in their hands, lips pursed as they looked down at it.

“There were files but –” Eren was quickly cut off by Levi.

“We had to leave them. Two of what were supposed to be three boxes were destroyed. We were being shot at, I pulled Eren down and everything scattered.” Out of the corner of his eye Eren watched Mikasa’s hands tighten into fists, her knuckles white. “Everything was handwritten and it was a downpour; those files are gone.”

“And the third box?” Erwin kept his attention fixed on Levi who shrugged in response, avoiding eye contact.

“There was severe water damage in the basement storage locker we found them in; if the remaining box is there those files are probably gone as well. If they aren’t – isn’t the hard drive necessary to decode them anyway?”

“And how do we know the hard drive is the key?”

“There was a letter.” Levi didn’t elaborate, eyes flicking to Eren with an inscrutable look on his face, leaving the decision to him.

“It was with the hard drive, I have it in my bag.” He ducked down to get it, hoping that nobody wanted to read it immediately. As he straightened up again he took in Mikasa’s stony silence and saw Hanji and Levi exchange a look.

“May I?” Hanji extended their hand and Eren leaned forward to hand it off, holding his breath and feeling his pulse speed up as they opened the letter and skimmed it briefly. “So Grisha’s dead then.”

“He didn’t write the letter?” Erwin’s brow was furrowed.

“It’s an _“if you’re reading this I’m dead”_ letter.”

“So this has likely been sitting there since he opened that deposit box.” Erwin steepled his fingers and leaned forward slightly, touching his fingertips to his lips. “This must have been his insurance that if he didn’t finish whatever it was he was doing then everything would be set in motion regardless.” His brow furrowed deeply as he paused in thought. “Though that doesn’t explain why he would open a safety deposit box in Trost. If that even was him.”

“Misdirection?” Hanji pursed their lips. “Make them think he moved everything to Trost… or that he was about to.”

“And it’s likely the last thing he did.”

They all went silent, Eren grabbing Mikasa’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly; he wasn’t the only one who Grisha had walked out on. And yet he supposed that Mikasa had handled Grisha’s disappearance better than he had. She had taken that familiar pang of loss in stride and moved on, focusing her love on their mother until she was no longer there either – _that_ was when she had broken down. Though even then she hadn’t been quite so angry, had never railed against Hannes the way he had or held out some sort of sick hope that Grisha would return in the wake of their tragedy. No, she had focused on him, her remaining family and created a space for the two of them; a life raft in a violent ocean, love a shield against the waves of grief and violence that threatened to capsize them. Back then he wouldn’t have given Hannes credit for anything, would never have thought that he belonged on that life raft and yet now, years later he recognized him for what he had been – the sail that brought them out of troubled waters.

“Well, let’s see what’s on it.” Eren was pulled out of his thoughts and he looked up, watching as Hanji brought the drive over to their work station, attaching it to the computer and bringing the hard drive online. Their brow furrowed as they leaned over the keyboard and looked at the screen.

“Is something wrong?” Erwin’s eyes were narrowed and focused on where Hanji was standing.

“Yeah, we have a problem.” They straightened up and turned back to everyone, their mouth twisted into a frustrated grimace. “This drive is fully encrypted and I know next to nothing about encryption, never mind _de_ cryption.”

Eren watched as everyone around the table seemed to wilt, Levi bringing a hand and letting his head fall forward into it as Erwin’s jaw clenched. Nifa’s gaze was fixed on Eren’s bandaged hand, her face slack and her eyes conveying some amount of horror. Even he felt despair welling up, pushing past his anger with Grisha for adding one more layer of complication to everything. Only Mikasa seemed to have retained some amount of determination as everyone else sank.

“So _what_ if it’s encrypted?” She looked around incredulously. “We have an _AI_ , we’re _fine_.” Hanji’s face slowly eased out of frustrated tension into slack relief, everyone else’s posture straightening and coming to the alert.

“Well I guess we didn’t get shot at for nothing.” Levi’s voice was barely a mumble but he held Eren’s gaze, a sardonic smile pulling lightly at his mouth.

“Armin?” Mikasa tapped at her phone and placed it in the center of the table.

“Are you okay? Is Eren okay?” There was worry pitched in Armin’s disembodied voice and Eren couldn’t help but feel a tug of fondness and allow his lips to quirk slightly; he’d missed Armin.

“We’re both fine, but we have a bit of an issue.”

“What kind of issue?” Mikasa was about to explain when Erwin broke in, interrupting her.

“The short version is that we have an encrypted hard drive and we _need_ to see its contents.” There was a pause after his words, Armin not responding immediately and Mikasa’s lips pursed as she tossed an annoyed look at Erwin.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that. It’s not in my programming. Marco designed me to work with _people_ not decryption algorithms. Sorry.”

“Then your friend Marco, maybe he can…” Hanji caught the looks on Eren and Mikasa’s faces. “Oh.”

“Maybe if he weren’t in physical therapy still trying to get full control of his _dominant hand_ back. Or wasn’t still dealing with all the fucked up fallout of being kidnapped and having a burning building come down on him.” Eren’s glare was furious and Hanji held their hands up in front of them, an apologetic look on their face.

“I’m sorry. I got ahead of –”

“Ask him.” Erwin’s voice was commanding as he fixed his gaze on Eren and Mikasa. “Ask him if he can do it or _I will_.”


	98. Decrypted: Black Hat / White Hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here we have like, 7.3k of notes on what would have been the next arc so hopefully y'all understand why it took me so long to get this together. The next ones should come together a bit sooner (i.e. _not_ three months) but will still take a bit. My notes (as you can see) are really fucking detailed and I've found a couple plot holes here and there that I've wanted to fill in.
> 
> So from the chapter title you can see that this arc is basically about Marco decrypting the drive that Levi and Eren found and everything that comes out of that. There's so much of this arc that I wish I'd been able to write but I just do not have the time and energy necessary to devote to this and I think once you get through these notes you'll see just how much was left and _this isn't even the whole remainder of the story_. If you look at the chapter count there are still two more after this one so yeah. Also I'd like to note that 90% of this arc was plotted in Sept/Aug 2014 and ALYNA _as a whole_ has been almost fully plotted since July 2015 so about a year ago now lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading the "Decrypted" arc as much as I enjoyed plotting it out :)

**Decrypted: Black Hat / White Hat**

 

> **Black hat hacker:** An individual with extensive computer knowledge whose purpose is to breach or bypass internet security. Black hat hackers are also known as crackers or dark-side hackers. 
> 
> **White hat hacker:** A computer security specialist who breaks into protected systems and networks to test and assess their security. White hat hackers use their skills to improve security by exposing vulnerabilities before malicious hackers (known as black hat hackers) can detect and exploit them. 

 

**Recruiting Marco**

  * Eren and Mikasa meet with Jean who is hella pissed that they / the Survey Corps want to ask Marco for help with decrypting the hard drive 
  * Eventually relents when they fill him in on what’s going on / the basics of what happened in Shiganshina 
  * Makes them promise to not be pushy and that he will _ask_ if Marco is okay meeting them; also makes them promise to be less detailed about what they tell him 
  * They all go to Marco’s house a few days later, planned with Marco so that his parents aren’t around at all (he has moved back in with them while undergoing intensive physical therapy, especially since they live in a detached suburban house and Jean and Marco’s apartment was not on the ground floor) 
  * The three of them arrive and speak with Marco; Eren explains the basics of what’s up and Mikasa is the one who asks for his help 
  * Marco is reluctant at first but when Mikasa reveals more about what happened in Shiganshina (e.g. Eren and Levi being shot at – Jean and Eren not happy about that) he agrees to help them 
  * Jean and Marco have largely patched up their friendship; Jean now drives Marco to his doctor appointments when his parents are unable to 
  * Marco and Jean are going to “hang out” after his doctors’ appts one day (actually going to meet up with the Survey Corps to talk about the hard drive) 
  * Erwin is all business and brings Marco up to speed on what’s going on; Marco asks to take a look at the HD and accompanies Hanji to their workstation 



 

**Marco @ Work**

  * Jean and Eren end up sitting at the table together while Marco works and Hanji sits with Marco and gives him a rundown on their workstation as he gets started 
  * Eren is kinda-sorta watching Erwin and Levi having what is clearly a very tense conversation in the kitchen; Levi looks unhappy with whatever Erwin is saying and Erwin clearly isn’t happy about it either 
  * Levi catches Eren watching them and makes eye contact for a moment before turning back to Erwin who says something brief before leaving the kitchen to go see how Marco is doing 
  * Jean is visibly uncomfortable as Erwin passes and continues to be when Levi sits down with them, especially when he doesn’t say anything and they’re all just sitting in silence; eventually asks where the bathroom is and excuses himself 
  * Eren and Levi are left alone; Eren asks how Levi is doing (no better or worse than the last time he asked – implication that they’ve kept in touch via text since getting back but haven't seen each other in person) 


  * Levi asks Eren the same; fewer nightmares but also the result of less sleep because he’s working on his thesis (Levi gets grumbly) 
  * Hanji calls Eren over and Marco asks if there are any words / dates that Grisha may have used as a passcode for accessing the HD 
  * There are only a set number of attempts (idk maybe ten?) before the drive erases itself and Marco has already used up four trying to access it (set number of characters, numbers-only, I swear I would have researched this more before writing this section) 
  * Marco tries Eren and Mikasa’s birthdays (no luck) and asks about Carla’s birthday (also doesn’t work); Hanji asks if Eren maybe knows their wedding date (he does not) and so they go to look it up 
  * Most info about Eren, Mikasa and Carla is gone or obfuscated digitally but Carla and Grisha’s wedding date has been fairly specifically been left on-record 
  * Marco tries the date and is able to successfully decrypt the drive 



 

**The Drive Decrypted Pt. 1**

  * Able to see that there are numerous files and folders but they are each individually locked as well 
  * So in Microsoft Word you can lock files with alphanumeric passcodes making them a bit more difficult to crack brute force even when you know what you’re looking for (e.g. code could be 02June or 02june or 2-june or anything) 
  * Marco decides to hack the system to get around it (I fucking swear I was seriously going to research this so much more; this is actually pretty difficult to crack) 
  * Able to get into a couple files and discover that there are some that appear to be digitized copies of physical files 
  * At this point Marco is too exhausted to continue and they have to pack it in for the day 
  * Marco jokes that doing this work is doing more for improving fine motor control in his hand than physical therapy has while leaving him way less exhausted (work on giving him an actual personality that isn’t wallpaper paste and the source of Jean Angst) 
  * Jean takes Marco home and Eren hangs back to talk with the SC and look at the couple of files that Marco was able to gain access to 
  * Some of the files look like digital copies of the ones that were lost in Shiganshina; others were clearly meant to match with specific things (decoding the paper files) 
  * Levi remarks that it looks like they may have ended up with some of the files they thought had been lost anyway and Erwin agrees but emphasizes that it’s sheer luck 
  * Hanji remarks that they look like medical records but when Eren and Levi take a closer look they realize that these files are actually different from the ones that they had found in the storage locker 
  * Lost files looked like individuals’ records while these look more like groups of individuals and in some cases, coded formulation notes 
  * Even though only a fraction of the files have been made accessible Hanji wants to show what they already have to Nifa since she’s a doctor 


  * There’s not much more to discuss so Levi offers to give Eren a ride home 



 

 **Ride (Interlude)**  

  * They end up talking a bit more about how they’re both holding up now that the atmosphere isn’t as tense as it was 


  * ->Eren talks a bit more about how his thesis is going and admits that he’s decided to put off grad school for a year what with everything that’s been happening recently 
  * ->Levi’s injuries are healing okay and he’s sleeping somewhat better; Eren makes a snarky comment about whether or not he’s eating actual food 


  * Eren insists that he should make Levi something as a thanks for everything and Levi comments that he shouldn’t plan on making anything too complicated given that he has almost no cooking utensils at his apartment 
  * Eren is surprised that a) Levi didn’t put up any resistance and b) assumed that Eren meant to cook at his apartment and not just hand off already-cooked food 
  * They make vague plans for some point in the future but mostly Eren is in shock and doesn’t really say much for the rest of the drive 



 

**The Drive Decrypted Pt. 2**

  * Marco continues to work on decoding files over the course of a week or two 
  * Survey Corps getting agitated over something although none of them say anything about it 
  * Eren has taken to hanging around when Marco is working; Jean stays about half the time but clearly isn’t comfortable 


  * ->Explains to Eren that it’s not just that he’s uncomfortable being around the SC, he’s trying to put some distance between him and Marco 
  * ->Marco has said he doesn’t want to be dependent on Jean always being around and Jean is trying to put some legitimate effort into getting over Marco (somewhere in here I was hoping to make it clear that Marco is aro/ace and not just being a dick or anything) 


  * Jean is not there today so Eren ends up working on his thesis while Hanji and Levi clean their grapple gear nearby (Erwin is around but not in the immediate vicinity) 
  * Marco calls out that he’s finally done and Hanji goes over to take a look 
  * Levi shifts and starts talking quietly not really _to_ Eren, but near him about how there’s a hacker who has been trying to breach their system recently and who is also suspected of attacking other secure systems within Trost as well; Erwin wants Marco to help track down the hacker and develop a better firewall / security system for them 
  * Eren remarks that Marco has done enough already; Levi looks unhappy but says that Erwin has already asked and Marco has agreed 


  * Eren is pissed that Erwin seemingly went behind their backs and asked Marco to help and potentially pressuring him into it 
  * Levi doesn’t disagree but states that Marco is legitimately the only person who they trust who has the specific skills that they need 
  * Eren presses for more information about the hacker; Levi doesn’t tell him much but says that they’re going by “Heisenbug” 
  * I'm sorry to say this but Marco is pretty useless in a lot of fics and yeah this is totally why he lived and Mike and Nanaba died instead (other reasons but mainly I had Plans for him later in the story) 



 

> **Hei-sen-bug** / _ˈhaɪ-zən-bʌg_ / A software bug that disappears or alters its behavior when one attempts to probe or isolate it. [A pun on Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle in quantum physics] 

 

 **Heisenbug Pt. 1**  

  * 104th find out about Heisenbug / Marco helping the SC; not happy 
  * Marco puts his foot down and insists that he wants to do this since the SC is pretty sure that Heisenbug is working with the Titans and he gets heated about wanting to get back at them in some way for everything they’ve done to him / the 104th / the SC  
  * States that Eren, Jean and Connie are able to contribute in some way in spite of being non-heroes and he has even more reason to want to help than either Jean or Connie  
  * Goes on a fiery rant, it was going to be fun to write, very non-wallpaper-paste-y 
  * Doing more than just his basic physical therapy exercises for his hand is speeding up the recovery of his right arm and hand although the rest of his right side is still weak and he's still tired a lot of the time 
  * Tracking down Heisenbug is incredibly difficult in spite of all the higher profile stuff Heisenbug is doing since every time Marco gets close to finding them everything gets more complicated and nothing is straightforward; explains that Heisenbug is sending everything through hella proxies and clearly some things are scripts being set to run based on a timer while others are not (yet another thing I was going to put a lot more research into) 
  * Marco talks about how difficult it is and that he’s mimicking it in a less complicated way so as to not give away the SC’s headquarters or where he himself is located 
  * Doing both SC work as well as PT and other doctor appts is starting to take its toll and in spite of his mobility improving Marco is getting very worn down 
  * Jean loses his shit at the SC after Marco faints while he’s with Connie visiting Krista at the coffee shop where she works; Ymir is there as well and helps get Connie to her and Krista’s apt since it’s the closest 
  * The 104th are all hella pissed and Erwin agrees to ease off and that Marco should take some time to rest and recover 
  * They won’t proactively search for Heisenbug while Marco rests up (not that they can without Marco) but Erwin makes clear that he will be asking for help if something larger does come up 
  * Marco’s health begins to improve but he’s still in rough shape 
  * Heisenbug’s attacks become worse / more impactful without Marco pushing back 



 

**Actual Legit Ereri Bonding I’m Sad to Not Be Writing**

  * Eren goes to Levi’s apt and very awkward cooking and conversation ensues; Eren jokes that he has no idea what to talk about now that they aren’t being hunted / that he doesn’t know much about Levi 
  * Levi is visibly uncomfortable but offers to answer some of Eren’s questions since he’s already started to talk about himself before (e.g. the tattoo and Farlan and Isabel) 
  * End up talking about small and relatively innocuous things; Levi likes cats but is too busy to have a pet, Eren responds that he wanted a dog when he was a kid but there was no way they could afford one – Levi empathizes since he couldn’t have a pet as a kid either 
  * Eren cooks a food, idk what but something simple / comfort food 
  * In spite of Levi’s offer to talk about himself Eren avoids asking anything too personal since it’s clear that they’re only just starting to actually relax and get comfortable around each other again and he doesn't want to spook him; eventually they get closer to how things were on the Shiganshina trip minus the “are we going to die?” tension 
  * They finish dinner and are drinking tea, Levi starts to ask a little about Eren’s past in the process of asking about how he’s been holding up with everything going on 
  * Eren gets Levi to begrudgingly admit that he also isn’t thrilled about how hard Erwin is pushing Marco although he hints that Heisenbug is affecting the SC more than they’ve been letting on; tells him that Heisenbug is definitely working with the Titans based on recent activity 
  * When Eren tries to probe further Levi shuts him down and bluntly tells him that he’ll give him a ride home now 
  * The ride starts out uncomfortable and they don’t talk; Levi ends up speaking first and thanks Eren for cooking and that he enjoyed it; Eren is surprised at first but realizes that this is sort of like an apology for being so abrupt earlier and he's not actually mad, just can't really talk about things with Eren and is an awkward aardvark 
  * Atmosphere lightens considerably even though they don’t talk again (Eren realizes that he's starting to be able to read Levi pretty well) 
  * When they get to Eren & Mikasa’s apt Eren hesitates getting out and offers that he can come by Levi’s again to do dinner later in the week; Levi explains that since he works at night (and given what his work is) he usually doesn’t eat much for “dinner”  
  * Eren offers to do “breakfast” instead which makes Levi smile and is clearly amused and RUFFLES EREN’S HAIR BECAUSE I HAVE NEEDS 
  * They agree to see what their schedules look like and plan from there; Eren goes upstairs and it sort of hits him how much their relationship has changed in the span of a month 
  * In the apartment he finds out that Mikasa and Armin were watching (well, “watching” in Armin’s case) him and Levi outside (totally random happenstance they _swear_ ) and Mikasa asks Eren about his relationship with Levi and Eren admits to previously having been in lust with Levi (which Mikasa was aware of _Jesus_ , Eren she's not blind) and while he still has a crush he doesn’t want to miss out on being friends 
  * Mikasa is sort of like ??? oooookay you wanna do that sure but I question the object of your romantic overtures and will end him if he legit hurts you; Armin gives a similarly reluctant position and points out everything that is happening / has happened 
  * Eren gets defensive – it’s not like anything is happening between them anyway – goes to his room to do work; Armin talks to him briefly stating that Eren is entitled to his own choices, he just wants him to know that he and Mikasa care about him 



 

**Heisenbug Pt. 2**

  * Eren is at the coffee shop Krista works at with Marco, Jean, Connie and Ymir (who brought Krista lunch because adorable lesbians) 


  * Marco is working on his laptop and Eren and Jean are all “this better not be Heisenbug crap” but no, he’s working on improving the SC’s firewall (Jean is exasperated because it’s _basically the same thing_ _ffs_ ) 
  * Suddenly Marco goes dead silent and eyes wide in panic and tells Eren that he needs to call Mikasa and if she’s home she needs to shut Armin down NOW and if she isn’t they need to get over there and do it asap 
  * Heisenbug is trying to get through the less robust firewall around Armin in order to access the SC that way since Armin is now heavily integrated into their system 
  * Eren calls Mikasa who is not home and is out shopping with Sasha like normal 20-somethings for once; Marco and Eren get into Jean’s car and drive to Eren & Mikasa’s apt as quickly as possible while Ymir, Connie and Krista follow on foot 
  * As soon as they get to the apt Armin reiterates what Marco has said; someone is trying to access his system and he’s not sure what has been compromised – Armin will need to be shut down fully to halt any potential damage 
  * There isn’t enough time to do a full shut down so Marco has to go through as abbreviated version that may / may not compromise Armin’s “brain” and they will not know the extent of what may have happened until he’s turned on again (so I guess I predicted Armin's canon maybe-death back in August 2014??? Idk I am not caught up on the manga from Sept 2015-present) 
  * All of them are very shaken and stay at the apt until Mikasa and Sasha are back and continue to stay together 
  * Marco says that he absolutely needs to talk to the SC and that he _needs_ to start working on finding Heisenbug again since he can’t trust turning Armin back on again until Heisenbug is eliminated as a threat 
  * Everyone hangs around while Marco calls the SC; Erwin immediately wants Marco to come to them and start working, Hanji and Levi are audible in the background (though they don’t know what they’re saying) and Erwin relents – they will meet bright and early the next morning (Jean gets pissed b/c Marco has PT first thing tomorrow so they agree to late morning) 
  * Eren and Mikasa and eventually left to themselves and hyperaware of what the silence around them means; don’t really speak to one another and drift back to their respective rooms 
  * Eren receives a text from Levi checking in on the both of them; does not answer but is appreciative that he would think to check in 



  

  * Entire 104th goes to meet the SC along with Marco; all kinda looking for a fight given how pushy Erwin has been and Marco is already a bit tired from PT that morning though better than he has been since he's had time to rest the past week 
  * Start in immediately looking at how much damage was done to Armin's security and whether there were any breaches with the SC's system; after a quick look at their system Marco says it doesn't look like they didn't have any serious damage but quietly states (and Eren overhears) that Armin's system suffered _extensive_ damage before being shut down and that's a huge part of why the SC's system isn't totally hosed; basically Armin was sacrificed to maintain some of the integrity of the SC's system and may / may not come back online 
  * Marco starts to take a closer look at the SC's system now that he has an idea of where things might need to be reinforced or fixed 
  * Erwin and Hanji are sitting near Marco as he works through everything and asks them the occasional question while the 104th all sit around the table placed a little further away and stare at them like a murder of crows  (idk I like the image of watchful protective shingeckos) 
  * Marco finishes making some quick fixes that should hold up against another attack but doesn't have the energy to do anything with tracking down Heisenbug right now barring a cursory look that implies this attack started in real time and not off a timer like some of Heisenbug's other larger jobs 
  * Also can see in what he can access from Armin's logs that there are records of smaller attacks that Marco had been largely disregarding as false positives that originate from the same rough location as the final Heisenbug attack on Armin 
  * Seems to be coming from the warehouse district of Trost but in an area that's been re-developing so it's a bit more difficult to pinpoint the source; Marco will look into it tomorrow after he's rested up a bit 



  

  * Next day Jean drops Marco and Eren off but has to go to class; Erwin is not around then anyway and he's way less concerned about leaving Marco with the SC when it's "just" Levi and Hanji since Levi basically leaves Marco alone and while Hanji is curious and asks questions they don't really put any pressure on him 
  * Eren is doing school work and chatting intermittently with Levi who is sitting at the table with him; Hanji heads to the kitchen to make a pot of tea for everyone and while there everything goes haywire  
  * Marco is kinda-sorta panicking and tells them it's Heisenbug and they need to shut everything down _now_  
  * Hanji runs out of the kitchen over to Marco and starts to go through the shutdown sequence but Heisenbug's bug has essentially total control over the system so everyone is all "shit shit shit" 
  * Levi just kind of runs out of patience with the whole situation and drags Eren off and tells him to throw the main breaker while he disconnects the backup generator and the network UPS 
  * They're all left basically in the dark minus what light is coming through the windows (most of it blocked out by neighboring / taller buildings so it's p dark in spite of it being early afternoon) 
  * After a very long pause Hanji flips out that they just killed the power to the entire building when they have so many things running that really should be shut down properly 
  * They argue about whether Levi did the right thing cutting power to the whole building since it will take hours to restore the basic important things and _days_  to get everything else running after having the main breaker thrown 
  * When they finally get some battery-powered lanterns turned on the three of them see Marco looking totally shell-shocked and silent at the computer in front of him; takes him a few minutes to collect himself but explains that Heisenbug clearly _did_ get past the SC's security during the attack on Armin and had a piece of code set to essentially "detonate" when some specific condition (he can't be sure if it was a time or an action) was met 
  * Can't be sure about the extent of the damage / how much might have been transmitted to Heisenbug until power has been restored; Hanji is about to start in on Levi but Marco says that doing an immediate hard shut down of the system might have actually been the best course of action 
  * Eren helps Hanji and Levi to get the basic stuff turned on / ready to be turned on again while Marco rests since it requires a lot of running around and moving things and he's not up for that 
  * Hanji contacts Erwin about what has happened and he says he'll be back asap  
  * When he's back he's super not happy about most of the power still being out and that they weren't able to trace Heisenbug but concedes that yeah, maybe cutting all power wasn't the worst idea given that Heisenbug had control over their system already 
  * After they've done a sort of debrief Levi gives them a ride to their respective homes  
  * Ride is dead silent and weird because Marco hasn’t really been around just Levi and Eren is very rarely in the car with anyone _but_ Levi now 
  * They're about halfway to Marco's home when they pull out of a side street and their car gets rammed by a larger car 
  * All are dazed by the crash and Marco gets grabbed out of the back seat; Levi and Eren aren't entirely with it and Hanji calls and Levi tries to pursue them but the car is too damaged 
  * Both are picked up by Moblit and Nifa and brought back to HQ 
  * Neither is badly injured, just shaken and pissed off about the whole situation 
  * With their system still down they can't do anything to track Marco and the kidnappers; contact the rest of the 104th who all go fucking ballistic over the situation 


  * SC promises they’re going to work on finding him as soon as everything is working again but it will take the rest of the day; reassure them they'll let them know what's going on as soon as they have any info  
  * 104th are forced to give up for the time being since none of them are nearly as tech savvy as Marco and with Armin shut down they don't really have someone / something to fill that gap (MARCO IS ACTUALLY A USEFUL AND INTEGRAL PART OF THE GROUP) 



 

 **Rescue**  

  * Finally hear back from SC later the next day and convene at the same location they were using to plan the previous rescue of Eren and Marco since their HQ is still not entirely up and running again; Marco's parents have been informed and SC told them a kinda half true bullshit story about thinking that he was kidnapped again because of his work with AI development (his fam does not know that his friends are the 104th/ superheroes) 
  * Moblit is present as well since he has been running some of the info they have through Trost PD databases and using their resources while the SC's system was down; he and Hanji were able to pull some info about where the planted bug in their system was sending info and trace it to a more specific address in Trost's warehouse district 
  * Everyone agrees that given the circumstances and the fact that it's going to take days to get everything up and running again they're just going to roll out and hope for the best 
  * Ymir points out that this is kind of dumb and doesn't want to take an unnecessary risk and Erwin counters that they may as well since their intel isn't going to get much more precise until everything is back to normal for them which won't be for days now 
  *  SC insists that Jean, Eren and Connie not tag along given the lack of intel and the fact that they aren't heroes / have essentially no training 
  * Connie and Jean get pissed but after everything that happened on the Shiganshina trip Eren doesn't put up much of a fight and begrudgingly admits that they might end up jeopardizing the mission if one of them got in trouble at which point Connie and Jean back off 
  * SC have Nifa come and get the three of them to transport them to a safe house for the duration of the mission to ensure that the Titans don't use this as an opportunity to get at Eren; Moblit will join them after he brings the SC and 104th to the drop point 



  

  * At the drop point the SC goes over how they're going to sweep the warehouse (it is under construction / renovation but empty for the day); reassure the 104th that they are absolutely not sending them somewhere out of the way and admit that without Mike and Nanaba they're kind of fucked and can't dismiss the 104th having a decent amount of experience this time around 
  * As a show of good faith they pair off so that it's Mikasa with Levi, Krista and Ymir with Hanji and Sasha with Erwin; balancing out skill sets / abilities and ensuring that the kiddos are kept with someone experienced 
  * They only have the address of the building and not an exact location in the building so they're going to fan out and work their way through the four floors; each group has a detector for a network signal similar to Heisenbug's but it has a narrow range of detection so they'll need to sweep all the floors fully 



  

  * Meanwhile, at the safe house everyone is just nervously chilling and Nifa is looking over the files that Marco decrypted when Moblit shows up and tells them that the SC and 104th are now underway with the rescue mission 
  * They can't have any contact in case it's tracked to the safe house so they won't know what happens until everyone joins up with them there; Connie points out that someone could have followed Moblit who admits that okay yeah fine but given the circuitous (and partially on foot and underground) route that he took it is highly unlikely 
  * Basically just awkward introspective silence and Moblit tries to distract them by getting them to play a card game since there's essentially nothing else to do there 



  

  * Before they start their sweep Mikasa thanks Levi for watching out for Eren since she realizes that she hadn't really done so earlier and tries to poke at him to ascertain how he feels about Eren / what he is like as a person given Eren's crush and her not really knowing him 
  * Levi isn't particularly thrilled with the convo and tells her that while it's his fucking job to watch out for Eren he does legitimately want him to be okay because he doesn't deserve all the crap that's happened to him; adds that Mikasa doesn't deserve to have dealt with all of this shit either 
  * Both get kind of awkward about Levi being legit honest about giving a shit for non-professional reasons and set off to do their part of the building sweep not really talking 
  * All of them had agreed that they would sweep in a certain pattern and would rejoin at a specific location within the building; Mikasa and Levi are starting the final building section they were assigned when they get radio'd by Erwin that he and Sasha are close to the source so if everyone could start heading their way that would be great because they're about to go in 
  * Everyone convenes and find a very frustrated Erwin and Sasha because the source of the signal is just a router hub and a computer that's being controlled remotely; it's clear that nobody has been there for a bit given that there is a layer of dust and no sign of recent footprints 
  * So yeah basically it's a bust and they contact Moblit to request a pick up; while they wait Hanji and Erwin have the rest clear out while they look at the computer and modem in case it is rigged with explosives like the decoy lab in the Pallisades warehouse 
  * Able to disconnect it without issue and have it shut down and ready to go by the time Moblit shows up 



  

  * Nifa, Jean, Connie and Eren are all on edge when Moblit heads out since all they know is that he's going to be picking them up and not what happened 
  * When they show up without Marco Jean gets hella pissed, doesn't calm down much when Hanji mentions getting the computer because it's just another piece of info to be looked at and not Marco 
  * Hanji says they'll work around the clock to get their system up and running so they can analyze the data on the laptop and hopefully get a lead off of that; Erwin quietly says that he has someone he might be able to tap who can help them out a bit (Eren hears and nearly asks about it but Levi signals him to not say anything; he shouldn't have heard at all) 



 

 **Heisenbug Pt. 3**  

  * A couple days later the SC's system is back up and running partially because Hanji was helped out by an anonymous ally; while bringing everything back online they've dealt with multiple remote attacks from Heisenbug 
  * SC's anonymous ally has also been analyzing the data on the laptop but it's been slower since they keep changing locations so that they can't be tracked 
  * 104th are all brought to SC main HQ this time to go over what they have; told that they will be going over what they have and might be leaving from there depending on if they get the info they need by that time 
  * All join up except Jean and Connie who have work but Hanji insists that Eren be brought with so that he can be kept somewhere safe in case the Titans go after him (esp since they have no fucking clue what they're up to since it's just been Heisenbug fucking with them and not the Titans directly) 
  * They have a different location that is in Downtown and with it being almost evening things should be slightly less busy since work will be getting out soon and they'll have a bit more freedom to move / fewer civilians being impacted 
  * Location is narrowed to a two block area of relatively low-lying buildings and they will again be splitting off but individually besides Ymir & Krista so as to cover more ground faster; Nifa will be staying back with Eren, Moblit is on-duty so transportation is sort of scattershot with Levi's car also being totaled 
  * Eren is sort of just doing whatever while Nifa continues to go through files and crosscheck data with info that they have access to via the city and the SC 


  * Nifa suddenly goes completely still and stops working, asks Eren to confirm that _yes indeed that this is the location that they just sent their comrades to_ and he's like "yeah? Why?" 


  * ->Turns out a name / signature in the files matches a doctor located at an office in the area everyone else just went to 
  * ->Eren recognizes the name and freaks a little; the doctor Nifa is talking about is Marco's physical therapist 


  * Eren and Nifa cannot get in touch with the rest and so they get into Nifa's car and head out to try and find everyone else to tell them what's going on (it is not too far from HQ) 
  * On getting to the location they circle around in Nifa's car but don't see anyone, circle around again slower and Eren notices a shadow moving along a fire escape; it's a bit of a risk but they pull over into an alley and follow them (they're short so Eren assumes it's Levi since Krista is with Ymir and this person is solo) 
  * Eren gives Nifa a boost onto the fire escape and she helps him up after; they climb up to the next floor in pursuit of hopefully-Levi 
  * When they enter the building they can see the person ahead of them startles and look back (it is indeed Levi) and Nifa quickly explains the situation 
  * Levi tries to contact everyone else but their signal is jammed; he knows roughly where everyone is doing their sweep so if they can find the next closest person they can split off and find the next and so on 
  * Says he will accompany Nifa and Eren back to her car since it's pretty close and doesn't want anything to happen in that short distance then he will head out looking for everyone else and please get the fuck out of here 
  * On the way back out they realize they're in the building with that doctor named in the files and Nifa gets Levi to agree to detour and at least give it a look; nighttime lights are on but it seems to be empty, Eren feels really out of sorts since he's been there a lot during the day when it's full of people and light out 
  * Nifa goes to the reception desk and Levi is like ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS WE NEED TO GO but she wants to grab some stuff before anything might happen 
  * Is rifling through files and stops suddenly and is like… this isn't just a physical therapist / general practitioner office and like yeah I work with dead bodies but these files look a lot like the Shiganshina ones except not quite and more detailed and this shit is dealing with really invasive procedures 
  * They hear a noise from a back office and Levi is like PLEASE STAY HERE FOR FUCKS SAKE but Nifa and Eren are like nah and follow behind him 
  * They approach the office slowly and open the door to find Marco sitting on a couch in the office looking really dazed but otherwise physically okay; does not react to them entering 
  * Levi steps through the door to approach Marco and once in the office realizes that there is  a person sitting in a chair off to the side wearing regular street clothes like just jeans and a hoodie pulled up but their mask is still partially visible (so clearly a member of the Titans); there is a gun on their lap glinting in the dim light 
  * They all freeze up and Marco continues to stare dazedly off into space not acknowledging them; Titan starts to speak specifically to Levi since Nifa and Eren are still slightly behind him and not readily visible from where they're sitting 
  * The Titan mocks that Levi doesn't have any backup and isn't really armed, gestures also to the fact that there is a rigged explosive in the room and they have the detonator in their other hand; explain that they would rather not blow up the office since it's only him who is there (still doesn't see Nifa and Eren) 
  * They will stop the frequency jammer if he wants to radio the rest of the SC and it's a 50/50 on whether everyone gets blown to hell or they are able to stop the masked person and save Marco though they joke that they're not sure there's much left to save 
  * Tells them that Marco was dosed with an experimental serum when he was kidnapped with Eren making him susceptible to mind control / conditioning and his PT appointments have been mostly further conditioning and experiments and he's been Heisenbug the whole time and basically just competing against himself 
  * At this point he is too burned out to continue due to the pressure both sides were exerting on him and given what they already got from the SC with "Heisenbug's" hack they've already gotten a look at the data they needed; continues to mock them that they have no idea what they're up against / what they're doing 
  * Points gun at Levi and starts to walk towards him, tells him to radio everyone else and he refuses; person finally notices Nifa who tasers them 
  * Titan had a dead man's switch detonator so the explosives the room was wired with start a one minute countdown; Nifa rushes over to Marco to flash a pen light in his eyes to check for responsiveness (he's not entirely there but isn't totally gone) and hoists him up so his arm is around their shoulder and he's half walking / half being dragged out of the room 
  * Levi tries to grab the Titan to bind their wrists and bring them with them but they come-to and knock him away; he tries to pursue them back into the office to where they're trying to escape out the window 
  * Eren is seen by the Titan and they freeze for a split second and decide to go and defuse the bomb instead 
  * At the 10 second mark Eren has basically dragged a pissed off Levi out of the office and Nifa and Marco are almost out in the hallway when the Titan realizes they won't defuse it in time and elects to escape out of the window 
  * When it's at the 2 second mark Levi shoves Eren forward and into another office down the hall and covers him; it's not a massive explosion but it does take out the office and the doorway / part of the hall are blown out by the explosion 
  * Levi stays covering Eren for another minute to make sure there isn't a chain reaction set to go off; reassures him that he's okay and everything is going to be okay and he will be right-the-fuck-back but he needs to check on Nifa and Marco 
  * Eren is still really shaken and sits down against the wall while Levi goes out into the hallway; radio frequency jammer was destroyed in the blast and Levi's radio starts receiving messages again though it is staticky and broken up 
  * Hanji is radio-ing that there has been a severe injury (due to static they are unknown) and Mikasa and Krista both check back in as unharmed (so presumably Ymir is okay as well); Levi radios back that he's received the message and after a pause radios that he needs a black bag and a stretcher 



**Author's Note:**

> This thing was sparked by a plotbunny that got posted on Tumblr where Mikasa is a superhero and Eren is her 100% normal brother. He ends up getting kidnapped and then rescued by Levi who is wearing a mad tight costume and Eren can't keep his eyes off of him.
> 
> I'm mybrainproblems on Tumblr and idk I guess I'm going to track "fic: alyna" because why not.
> 
> **3 January 2017: This fic is now discontinued**


End file.
